Amusing fanfiction quotes

[shit_happens23]

I'm trying to decide whether to laugh or punch you. Maybe both.

Why not just push me down some stairs then laugh? I get some well-deserved (somewhat debatable) punishment and it'd be genuinely hilarious (actually true). Everybody wins!

What thread?

ALL OF THEM.

 

[zeebee1]

<a href='http://z14.invisionfree.com/The_Fanfiction_Forum/index.php?showtopic=20954' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>http://z14.invisionfree.com/The_Fanfiction...showtopic=20954</a>

His lack of a link involved a request on his part for one of us to suffer and it happened after he posted a link in this thread.

 

[shit_happens23]

<a href='http://z14.invisionfree.com/The_Fanfiction_Forum/index.php?showtopic=20954' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>http://z14.invisionfree.com/The_Fanfiction...showtopic=20954</a>

His lack of a link involved a request on his part for one of us to suffer and it happened after he posted a link in this thread.

That monster...

 

[ragnarok1337]

From the Nanoha fanfic <a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5497693/1/ShortS' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>ShortS</a>

"I'm tired of everyone making fun of my chest." Nanoha fumed. "Sure, they might not be as big as Suzuka-chan's, but they're still nice! Don't you think so, Yuuno-kun?"

"Uh, yeahà" He desperately tried to maintain eye contact, but found it becoming increasingly difficult to do so. Like most boys his age, Yuuno had a certain interest in that area, particularly the set that belonged to the girl he liked. "I think they're fine."

"That's what I keep saying, butà I wonder if I could make them bigger some howà"

"Wellà" Unable to suppress his hormones any longer, Yuuno let his gaze fall to the objects of his fantasies. "I heard that having some one rub them will make them bigger."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I read it in a bookà soà" He gulped. "If you don't mind, I'dà"

"Thanks Yuuno-kun!" Nanoha brightened. "I knew I could count on you! I'll go ask Hayate-chan since she seems to be into that kind of thing. See you later!" And with that she ran off.

Yuuno stood in silence a moment before he slammed his head against the wall.

Poor Yuuno. SO CLOSE!

 

[shit_happens23]

From the Nanoha fanfic <a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5497693/1/ShortS' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>ShortS</a>

"I'm tired of everyone making fun of my chest." Nanoha fumed. "Sure, they might not be as big as Suzuka-chan's, but they're still nice! Don't you think so, Yuuno-kun?"

"Uh, yeahà" He desperately tried to maintain eye contact, but found it becoming increasingly difficult to do so. Like most boys his age, Yuuno had a certain interest in that area, particularly the set that belonged to the girl he liked. "I think they're fine."

"That's what I keep saying, butà I wonder if I could make them bigger some howà"

"Wellà" Unable to suppress his hormones any longer, Yuuno let his gaze fall to the objects of his fantasies. "I heard that having some one rub them will make them bigger."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I read it in a bookà soà" He gulped. "If you don't mind, I'dà"

"Thanks Yuuno-kun!" Nanoha brightened. "I knew I could count on you! I'll go ask Hayate-chan since she seems to be into that kind of thing. See you later!" And with that she ran off.

Yuuno stood in silence a moment before he slammed his head against the wall.

Poor Yuuno. SO CLOSE!

Hayate-chan gets all the girls.

 

[Lord Raa]

[quote="Some distinct absence of justice I']ôLucky,ö Misato nodded. Then she realised that there was only two pairs of socks in the pot. A smirk appeared on her lips. ôOh my, it would seem that the bank canÆt quite cover your winnings with clothes, Shinji. You get to dare someone.ö[/quote]

 

[chronodekar]

[quote="Some distinct absence of justice I']ôLucky,ö Misato nodded. Then she realised that there was only two pairs of socks in the pot. A smirk appeared on her lips. ôOh my, it would seem that the bank canÆt quite cover your winnings with clothes, Shinji. You get to dare someone.ö

[/quote]
.. Urk !! :wacko:

-chronodekar

 

[Lord Raa]

ôYou know,ö Misato said as she tossed her bra at the middle of the table, ôat this rate, Shinji will see us all naked.ö

 

[chronodekar]

Lord Raa has successfully rendered chronodekar unconscious.

You get +50 EXP
You get +1000 GP
You get 1 <CENSORED> item

 

[zeebee1]

That line was about as predictably boring as you ever get. I felt no eroticism from it all all.

 

[Lord Raa]

That line was about as predictably boring as you ever get. I felt no eroticism from it all all.

Ok then, I await your suitably erotic tale.

What fandom will you use? Will it be an original piece of fiction?

 

[elof]

"Eathy, mithstreth." Igor slid her into a desk when her knees buckled. "There. All finithed. Can I do anything elth?"

"I--" Louise giggled. "You--hahahaha--can always give me Kirche's breasts while you're at it."

"Right away, mithstreth!"

Igor skipped away with resolve and purpose. Louise let him leave without the customary dismissal. Void. Could she be a Void user? Mages always had problems with opposing elemental affinities, even after years of training. If Void was central, then any element a Void mage would use could count as an opposing element. But...what if you used the element in the way her familiar had suggested? The true opposite of fire, it's Void equivalent. Or, instead of Transmuting matter via Earth, you burned the unwanted aspects away with Void. Or even affected the pure aspects of magic itself...

It was around then that Louise heard the frantic screaming.

It sounded like Kirche.

Louise clapped a hand to her mouth. Igor. So helpful. So direct. So very skilled at surgery.

"IGOR!" Louise screamed at the top of her lungs, slim legs pinwheeling so fast that she could have cast Levitate. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

from <a href='http://forums.spacebattles.com/showpost.php?p=5562329&postcount=31' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Ig0r</a>

 

[chronodekar]

Louise clapped a hand to her mouth. Igor. So helpful. So direct. So very skilled at surgery.

Oh GOD !!! I laughed when I read this !!

-chronodekar

 

[crazyfoxdemon]

ôEmpress? Head warlock?ö an excited voice came from the crystal ball that was currently part of Tiger's collarbone.

The youma frowned. That could get annoying really fast.

ôWhat is it?ö Torian replied, watching Tiger with a worried expression. Not too worried though, since her flaming crown had disappeared the moment she had doubled over in pain.

ôThe enemy temple! It's on fire!ö the voice shouted.

ôHuh?ö He involuntarily looked down, and then kept looking, his eyes growing wider and wider. Something underneath the waves was burning bright enough to make them shine like the setting sun. ôI- I can see that.ö He looked up at Tiger, his expression begging for an explanation. ôWhat are they burning?ö

ôThe temple.ö

ôYes, you already told me that!ö

ôYou don't understand! The stone is on fire! Underwater!ö

Torian blinked. So did most of the youma.

ôBy all the dark gods, it just crashed and now the sand is burning too! Look at it!ö another warlock shouted in the background.

ôI think even the water is on fire,ö the first one muttered in a voice that bordered on religious rapture.

ôDon't be silly,ö Tiger interrupted. ôThe water is too busy exploding to be on fire!ö

ôI... I stand corrected.ö

Torian opened his mouth, then closed it again. Open. Close. And again. Finally, he managed to blurt out a single word. ôHow?ö

ôDo you really expect me to divulge my secrets? Let's just say that my sister can be a bit of a sissy at times. I'm not.ö

<a href='http://addventure.bast-enterprises.de/253071.html' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Dungeon Keeper Ami</a>

 

[Lord Raa]

ôItÆs a long and complicated story,ö Asuka said. ôOne that ends with me punching people who ask about it in the face. Are you sure you want me to tell it to you?ö

 

[zeebee1]

You know, whenever Asuka tries to fight something goes wrong. So yes, I wouldn't mind asking. She'll probably trip over her own feet and get a black eye, two broken ribs, and get pregnant.

 

[da_fox2279]

You know, whenever Asuka tries to fight something goes wrong. So yes, I wouldn't mind asking. She'll probably trip over her own feet and get a black eye, two broken ribs, and get pregnant.

:huh: ... That'll be a story to tell the grandkids. :blink:

 

[seitora]

With twins?

 

[zeebee1]

I was thinking that Rei was the father, but I thought it might be too much for the joke. Honestly, with Asuka's luck it would be Ritskuo. Then Maya would turn out to be a yandere.

 

[Comartemis]

From the massively epic <a href='http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Strike%20Witches%20quest' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Strike Witches Quest</a>:

Muskmelons.

The delicious dewy taste of the best melon ever to grace the Earth. The luscious fruit of the middle east, the powerhouse of Latin American agricultural export economies. The savory, fantastic, varied muskmelon.

The war between men slowed their transit, and the Martians put an end to it. It has been years since you have tasted a muskmelon.

Of all their crimes, that one you can never, ever forgive. They try to kill you all the time, true, but nobody - from any planet - fucks with your muskmelons.

You and Chuck visit the kitchen and liberate a healthy sum of beer. Chuck goes to open his, but you stay his hand. "Hold up, I'd like you to meet my flight crew."

"Crew? What do you fly?"

"Black Widow."

Sudden comprehension dawns on Chuck's face, and you see him re-evaluate you. The predatory glint of the combat pilot comes into his eye. "You're the guy that just made ace-in-a-day."

"Ayup."

"So did I."

Oh, really now. How interesting.

"Yeah, I had one to my credit before that, though. Some tosser trying to shoot up a Fortress with half her engines out."

You nod sagely. "I corked a rocket bomb the other day. Personally. My gunner did for a Firebee or two, I think - we're not sure yet."

Six-to-six. Your eyes lock on each others, and a dangerous tension passes between them.

IT'S ON.

Before you two can do anything more then exchange The Look, someone enters the kitchen at a brisk pace, greatcloat flapping. You both turn to see Erwin Rommel striding about quickly, examining the room swiftly. His eyes light on the refrigerator, and he nods sagely. "If you gentlemen would assist me," he says, opening the refrigerator.

"Sure, Field Marshall," you say politely. "But with... what?"

Rommel calmly begins removing the shelves in the refrigerator, and handing them to you and Chuck. You both look at him in bewilderment.

"Under the table should do it," he says tersely, moving swiftly and with purpose. You and Chuck exchange wary glances, but you get on with it. Soon the refrigerator is emptied, the contents stashed underneath the table. Thus decimated, you note it's a particularly large refrigerator, the kind used in large mess hall kitchens - which this is, you suppose.

"Thank you, gentlemen," he says, nodding to each of you in turn. You and Chuck just take your beer and silently remove from the room.

"What the fuck?" Chuck asks.

"You'll get used to it," you reply.

"Was that... Rommel?"

"Yes."

*About seven or eight threads later...*

"So. Did Ian say something about pancakes?" you ask, sniffing the air.

Ah, yes. There it is. Delicious pancakes.

"Lynette's cooking," Miyafuji tells you. "She makes the best pancakes on the whole base!"

You follow the heavenly scent of pancakes to the kitchen, where you find Lynette standing on tip-toe to address a pancake griddle set atop one of the huge industrial ranges. She daintily flips another pancake over. "Oh, hello~" she says to you. "Are you feeling better?"

"Some," you admit. "How's Minna feeling today?"

"She's really happy that you actually made a report without any 'bouncing' involved, whatever that is," Lynette tells you. "She said you're learning, and you might be useful yet."

"Good dog," you mutter darkly as you load a plate with steaming hot pancakes. "We need to have a chat, her and I." You stab your fork at the last cooked pancake on the counter, but somebody tries to snag it away. Growling, you fork-fence with the intruder until you snag it away with a swift thrust and devour it with the relish of victory.

"Ah, good contest, chap." You look up at the opposing fork's owner, a wide-faced man with a broad sort of handsomeness; and a more mature combat-beard then the Brit in the dining room. "Lynette here's one hell of a cook, eh?" He tousles her hair affectionately, and she giggles.

"Your unit being pulled into this whole..." you wave your hand about vaguely... "this mess?"

"What, ya mean all the brass hats? Suppose they've got something planned for us, yeah."

"Yeah, that great big blowhard has something planned for us, all right," the rakish-looking man says, entering the kitchen with an empty coffee pot. He saunters over to the coffee maker and swaps the empty one for a full one. "Eh?" he says, hoisting it at you, and both you and the other man let him pour you a mug each.

"Who, Patton?" you ask, adding some sugar to your mug and stirring briskly as you prepare to shovel more pancakes into your mouth with your free hand.

"Nah, Monty," the wide-faced man replies, sighing.

"I think he's still pissed about the flowerpots," the rakish-looking man replies seriously.

"That was fucking WORTH it," Wide-Face replies, grinning. "Christ, was it ever." He sips at his coffee, eyes dreamy with some treasured memory, then winces. "Bit strong. Hey, love, is there any creamer in here?"

"First refrigerator," Lynette replies cheerfully, whipping up the next batch of pancakes.

The broad, tall, handsome Brit strides over to the refrigerator with the air of man savoring the simple joys of an enclosed, powered, fully-stocked kitchen for the first time in many months. Still smiling, he opens the refrigerator.

And Erwin Rommel punches him in the fucking face.

The British man is floored - quite literally, as Rommel takes him by complete surprise. Recovering swiftly, he scrabbles backwards over the floor as Rommel emerges from the refrigerator, tapping a massive frozen kielbasa in the palm of one gloved hand. He stalks across the tile like an avenging angel, his eyes smoldering with rage.

"K-knock it off ya fucking lunatic!" the Brit says as he crawls across the floor. The rakish-faced man is looking on with great amusement, sipping at his java.

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave," Rommel says, his voice low and dangerous. He raises the kielbasa for the killing blow, but the Brit slides under the food prep table in the middle of the room, buying himself seconds. He emerges from the other side with a half-thawed leg of lam, apparently found amidst the evicted foodstuffs you helped Rommel hide under there yesterday. Rommel leaps atop the table, swinging his kielbasa with gusto, and the Brit leaps to meet him, frozen meat meeting with a meaty MACK! sound.

"We're on the same side now!" the Brit apparently named "Dave" shouts, parrying a kielbasa thrust.

"ASK ME HOW MANY FUCKS I GIVE!" Rommel says, and knocks Dave clean off the table with a mighty blow. 'Dave' hits the ground rolling and comes to his feet dual-wielding spatulas.

"A little help would be nice, Paddy," he snarls, circling the table as Rommel adopts a two-handed low-guard with his kielbasa.

"Wouldn't it just," the rakish-faced man says, looking TREMENDOUSLY amused.

You edge out of the kitchen cautiously as the Ghost Major duels the Desert Fox, scarfing down pancakes as you retreat. Dave's got a point; Lynette sure does know how to cook. She joins you a few seconds later, clutching her spatula to her chest nervously.

"What's all that about?" she asks you tremulously.

"Not quite sure," you admit.

 

[Sunhawk]

Courtesy of the latest chapter of <a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6940744/9/A_Teachers_Glory' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>A Teacher's Glory</a>

Orochimaru felt something dangerous moving toward him; no doubt one of the Carrier's Shadow Clones. Not a real problem, just smack it and it would go 'poof.' Without looking he swung his incredibly flexible arm backwards, to run into something solid, muscular, and wet. He turned and looked at two and half meters of thigh-thick tentacle. While he was taking that all in, two other tentacles reached up from underneath him and grabbed his legs, pulling him down. As his head was submerged his thought was a simple one: "I thought the Giant Fresh Water Squid was a myth!"

 

[Prince Charon]

Courtesy of the latest chapter of <a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6940744/9/A_Teachers_Glory' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>A Teacher's Glory</a>

Orochimaru felt something dangerous moving toward him; no doubt one of the Carrier's Shadow Clones. Not a real problem, just smack it and it would go 'poof.' Without looking he swung his incredibly flexible arm backwards, to run into something solid, muscular, and wet. He turned and looked at two and half meters of thigh-thick tentacle. While he was taking that all in, two other tentacles reached up from underneath him and grabbed his legs, pulling him down. As his head was submerged his thought was a simple one: "I thought the Giant Fresh Water Squid was a myth!"

Good jokes, good chapter, and a good fic in general, though the mix of regular and italic text is oddly applied.

 

[da_fox2279]

"So what's new, Nev?" he asked to change the topic. "You still thinking about joining the Griff's quid-thingy team? I was telling Eddy he might have to look out for you."

All three laughed at the idea of Neville playing Quidditch. His disastrous first flying lesson was infamous throughout the school, and was a sore point for the shy boy until Harry pointed how it got him out of having to join the team and the ridiculous amount of practice they put in.

"Why do you call Cedric Eddy, Harry?" asked Neville.

"I dunno," said Harry shrugging. "Ever since B1 and B2 doused him with that load of white fairy dust that made him sparkle when he went outside, I can't help but think of him as Eddy. It's really weird actually."

Cedric was ready to pull his hair out.

On one hand, Potter was a natural in the air. His skill on a rickety old school broom was incredible. He managed to catch every ball Cedric threw, somehow moving into exactly the right spot to easily snatch them out of the air with the minimum of effort.

On the other hand, he was being as thick as a Troll's club - possibly on purpose.

"No, no, no," said Cedric. "The Beaters hit the Bludgers with their bats."

"But I don't want anybody hitting me!" protested Harry.

"Not that kind of bludger. This," Cedric said, holding up one of the balls for Harry to see, "is a Bludger."

"I still don't see what that has to do with me, if I am meant to be training to be a seeker like you."

Cedric rubbed his forehead and suddenly understood why it had been left up to him to explain the game to Harry, rather than one of the older teammates, or the captain - nobody else wanted the job and he was currently the 'low man' on the team.

"You need to know the rules," he said.

"Why? The way I see it, all I need to do is catch the little golden thingy and then it's game over, right?"

"Yes, but - you know what? Bugger it. You're right. Just catch the little golden thingy, and make sure not to get in anybody's way or get knocked off your broom, okay?"

"Fine," said Harry. "Can I go in yet?"

Harry just didn't understand why some people insisted on making things a lot more complicated than they needed to be, but at least now he had a half decent reason to buy his own broom, even if he couldn't use it inside.

"Just give me a hand to put the equipment back in the shed," said Cedric.

"All right," said Harry. "Just don't bite me," he added without thinking.

"Okay - no wait, what?"

- <a href='http://fanfiction.net/s/6466185/3/Harry_the_Hufflepuff' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Harry the Hufflepuff</a> chapter 3, by BajaB

 

[ragnarok1337]

Several quotes from <a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2829730/1/Bonding_Over_Big_Swords' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Bonding Over Big Swords.</a>

"Asuna, you're home late," said Konoemon Konoka. "Were you out tonight?"

"Oh yeah," said Asuna, grinning from ear to ear. "It was nice today."

"Oh? Were you with a boy then?" asked Konoka and Asuna grinned wickedly.

"Yeah. He has a really big sword."

It was then that the door fell in and everything went to hell as the denizens of Mahora Girls Dorm demanded answers and details.
______________________________________________________________________________________________

"I told you I'm fine. Just rid the world of a hollow, that's all," said Ichigo. He was lying on his bed and tossing a faux-Kon up and down. Kon had refused to accompany him and Ichigo had responded with thudding his stuffed head up and down on the bedpost.

So why are you calling now? It's pretty late, Ichigo.

"Eh, I thought you just would like to know that I met a girl today," said Ichigo and there was the sound of spitting on the other end.

Say what? The great and terrifying Kurosaki Ichigo found a date for the evening? What'd you do; sweep her off her feet and proclaim love?

Ichigo wished he could see Rukia's face as he said, "I showed her my big sword, that's all. And she showed me mine."

There was a very prolonged silence before Rukia replied. For your sake, I hope that was a pun. Now I gotta go bleach my brain before I come over there and whup your sorry ass. Expect me tonight Ichigo and pack bandaids.

"So how did you and Asuna meet anyhow?" asked Misa curiously.

"I showed her my big sword and she showed me hers," replied Ichigo.

"à" said the girls.

Asuna, still red in the face, burst out into laughter.

"You know you didn't have to come," said Rukia as she steered into the passing lane.

"It's not every day I get some time off," grinned Renji as he leaned back and listened to the radio that was churning out hard J-Rock. "And besides, you MISS Ichigo anyhow."

Rukia sputtered and the car swerved a little before she straightened it out. "I do NOT!"

"Geez, he's like a brother to you," said Renji, that same savage grin on his face. "It's not uncommon for you to miss him anyhow, considering that you and Old Man Isshin practically threw him here to Mahora which is four hours drive back and forth. Speaking of which how DID you get your licence anyhow? I'd have thought that after the first time you took the exam you would have been banned from being behind the wheel of a toy car."

Rukia growled something incoherent before saying, "I used the thingy."

Renji snickered. Ichigo was not the most technical person on the face of the planet. Considering he made bad plans that usually consisted of "Zangetsu goes into X", it was quite obvious that he wouldn't take the time to learn the proper names of any of the Shinigami devices. Since then, the majority of all Shinigami devices, including the memory alteration device was being referred to as "thingy" rather than by its proper name which Renji never bothered to remember anyhow. In fact, several dozen items had now picked up the monikers of "thingy" in various different formats ranging from "thingy" to "whatever thingy". It drove most of Soul Society mad on how much Ichigo had changed their way of thinking although Kenpachi thought it was the funniest thing to happen in the last fifty years. Renji had a running bet on when old man Yamamoto, General of the Gotei-13 would use an "Ichigoism". They nearly caught him using one two months ago.

The small Toyota that Rukia had purchased through a combination of human money and wheeling and dealing was big enough to seat four people or two in the front and one Sado in the back with an Orihime tucked into the corner. Sado was usually uncomfortable in the back but he made the best of it while Orihime didn't mind being squished against Sado anyhow. She claimed he made a nice pillow during road trips. Renji, bless his insane soul had the tendency to free up space and ride on the roof. Although the last time he did it, Rukia had to use the thingy several times to make certain that the policemen didn't issue her a ticket. Ichigo had promptly shoved Renji into the trunk shortly there after.

"Are we there yet?" asked Renji, making Rukia's knuckles whiten under her grip.

"We're there when we get there!" exclaimed Rukia hotly. "Geez, did you have to come along?"

"What can I say; I love road trips." Renji grinned widely and Rukia fought the urge to kick him out of the moving vehicle. Instead she simply put her foot down a little, engaged the cruise control and resolved to shove Renji in the trunk for the return trip.

In the silence that followed, Renji leaned back and said, "So Ichigo, you have sex with any of em yet?"

The resulting beating left Renji lying on the ground in pain. The Sandal Nut Grinder was an obviously universal attack.

Wish something would happen," said Ichigo.

"GOOD MORNING ICHIGO!"

"DWAH!" exclaimed Ichigo as he caught the flying corkscrew kick that a scruffy man landed on him. "Bastard, you were planning this!"

"Aaah, you stopped my flying corkscrew hello kick! You have gotten better-URK!" Kurosaki Isshin made a sound as Ichigo begun to trade blows with his father.

After the short melee, Isshin sat at the table as he eyed Asuna who looked at him back. "Soà" he said, trying to look as large and imposing. Unfortunately the mood was ruined since the glare of doom was supposed to be for the men who would date his little girls and had absolutely no effect on Asuna, save for a sensation of what's he trying to do? "This is the girl who captured Ichigo's heart."

Ichigo immediately slammed an elbow into his father's face. "SHUT IT, OLD MAN!"

"WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK WE'RE DATING!" shouted Asuna in the same tone and volume as Ichigo, driving a fist into the elder Kurosaki's stomach.

"TRYING TO WRECK OUR FRIENDSHIP YOU OLD FART!" Chorused the pair and immediately went to town on Kurosaki Isshin.

Setsna watched the pair beat up Ichigo's father, one eyebrow twitching in disbelief. Konoka sipped her tea. "Aaah, tea tastes so good at ten fifteen in the morning. Right, Secchan?"

"Um, yes, Konochan."

 

[MiriOhki]

From "Progeny" (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/293768/12/Progeny)
--
"Why do you need to find them?" Xian Pu growled.

"Ranma needs them." Ryouga answered with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders.

"Fine!" The Amazon huffed. "Let me get my things and we can leave."

"You can't come." Mousse's voice was quiet. Ryouga shook his head.

"What?" Xian Pu's voice was flat; that was never a good sign.

"Idiot." Ryouga clucked. "You shouldn't have said anything. We could have slipped away while she was packing."

"And have her castrate me when I got back, I think not!" Mousse countered. "I might be blind, but I'm not stupid. Better to face her wrath now, than to let it simmer while we're away."

"You are a braver man than I."

"True." Mousse nodded sagely.

"Someone had better explain. Quickly." Xian Pu hissed. Her aura was starting to cause the asphalt to bubble.

"Bluntly? You can't come because someone needs to guard Kasumi Tendo." Mousse rolled his neck until it popped.

"Why?"

"Why? Because she's the one that just woke every dragon in existence. Why? Because she's the reincarnation of the Dragon Kings soul-mate. Why? Because without her, killing the Rhakshasa is going to be a thousand times harder than it should; and without them we're all likely to become soul food for a bunch of demons. Is that a clear enough picture for you?"

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh." Mousse sighed and placed his hands on Phau Set's shoulders. "Save the House Wife. Save the world."

"Huh?" Phau Set furrowed her brow in confusion.

"Damn it. No one understands my Pop Culture references."

"It's because half the stuff that spews from your mouth hasn't even been invented yet." Ryouga pointed out.

"Oh. Right."

"Moron." The former lost boy grabbed the front of Mousse's robes and drug him off.