Heh-heh, checked through some of my stories-in-the-works and found a few amusing little quotes to tease ya'll with.
***
"Kasumi! Why have you been running around acting like a raging pervert all day long?" Akane hissed, once she finally got an opportunity to talk with her sister without anyone listening in on their conversation. "You groped Shampoo, Ukyo is behaving like Kodachi ever since you reached in underneath her shirt and unwrapped her bindings to fondle her, poor Ryoga *still* hasn't been able to move ever since you kicked him between his legs for no reason and half the girls in the school are howling for blood after you snuck into the girls locker room four times! Sayuri said you *stole* her panties and *peeped* on Tomoe while she took a shower!"
- Akane in Body Swap
***
"Nabiki!" Akane wailed, spinning around on the spot and closing her eyes, as a furious blush rather hastily overtook her. "When I knock on your door and ask if you're decent, don't reply 'yes' when you're naked and masturbating!"
- Akane in Surrounded by perverts
***
"Perverts..." Akane groused and stalked downstairs, stopping dead in her tracks as she saw and heard what was on the TV. "Daaaaaad! Please tell me that you're not jerking off to 'Wild bitches in heat 4' again?!"
"Uhm... I'm not jerking off to 'Wild bitches in heat 4'." Soun hesitantly replied, though his extatic-sounding tone of voice and the faint fwapping noises comming from his direction betrayed him.
"Well, stop it! And for Kami's sake, use the air freshener and wash your hands when you're finished this time! Kasumi and Nabiki will be down shortly." she admonished him. "I'm surrounded by perverts!" she screamed and stalked outside, taking deep calming breaths as she tried to block out the activities she just knew was going on indoors.
- Akane and Soun in Surrounded by perverts
***
"A fiancee? Is he hot? Is he young, well hung and in possession of great stamina?" Kasumi asked as their father revealed the reason for the family meeting he'd called them all to.
"Yeah, dad. Is he as well hung as the name implies?" Nabiki added.
"Dad! Don't you dare pull that nasty thing out in my presence!" Akane screamed as she saw Soun put a hand down his trousers. "Fondle yourself through your pants, if you absolutely have to." she instructed him.
- The Tendo sisters in Surrounded by perverts
***
"Huh. We'll be working with a freelancer on this one." Natalia commented as she hastily skimmed through the folder. "Frank Castle."
"The Punisher?!" Peter exclaimed, leaping up from his chair with a shocked expression plastered all over his face. "Oh, shit!"
"He's not so bad." Natalia commented. "I've worked with him before. Professional. Calm under fire. Very skilled."
"And a homicidal serial-murdering weaponfetichist who probably gets off on blowing people's brains out!" Peter added in a near-frantic tone of voice.
"There is that." Natalia agreed with a wry smile.
- Natalia and Peter in The SHIELDtacular Spiderman
***
"Sword of Lilith, please." Shinji pleaded, to no avail.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" she laughed, slamming on of her fists on the surface of her desk, scattering papers all around her. "Tatewaki was bitten where?!" she managed to get out between cheerfull gales of laughter.
"His left butt-cheek." Shinji repeated, crossing his arms and pouting.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" she started laughing again.
"Yeah. Ha, ha. Laugh it up. You weren't the one who had to suck the poison out." Shinji groused, a statement which only caused his superior to laugh even harder. "Sword of Lilith, PLEASE!" Shinji pleaded again.
- Shinji and Misato in currently untitled NGE Fantasy-AU-thingie
***
"Jan-Ken-Pon." Shinji called, then brandished his scissors at Rei's outstretched arm, palm held completely vertical against him. "Heh, scissors beat paper."
"This is not paper." Rei informed him.
"Oh?" he exclaimed, then looked again. It certainly didn't look like either rock or scissors. "It looks like paper to me."
"No. It's an AT-field. Nothing beats an AT-field." Rei responded.
- Shinji and Rei in Messing with Rei
***
Been checking up on my old Hawkverse stories lately and found some cool quotes there too.
***
+bang+ +bang+ +bang+
"Uh... Niklas? What are you doing?" Ororo inquired with a concerned look over the sight of an X-Man banging his head against the wall.
"People are having sex... And I'm not one of them." Niklas informed her. "Why me?" he wailed.
- Hawk and Storm
***
"Blablablablablablablablabla... Blablabla... Bla... Niklas? I said, are you listening?" Jean suddenly demanded.
"Oh, I'm sorry. What? I was trying to have an out of body experience." Niklas responed with a yawn.
- Marvel Girl and Hawk
***
"Outta my way, cretins. There's too much blood in my caffeine system." Niklas growled, shuffling through the x-mansion in his worn tiger-paw slippers, Garfield robe and the butt of a burned out cigarette hanging from one corner of his mouth.
- Hawk
***
"Shoot a warning shot through his head." Hawk ordered.
"Uh, captain? Don't you mean over his head?" Savan inquired.
"Naw. That moron wouldn't understand the nature of the warning unless it actually hit him."
- Hawk and Savan
***
"At which point should I have shut up?" Scott inquired with his head tilted back, staring at the ceiling.
"Right after 'I do' at your wedding." Niklas suggested and quickly bolted before anything harmful could happen to him.
- Cyclops and Hawk
***
"Yo, ho! Hohoho... Want ol' Pimp Daddy to go down your chimney and *really* stuff your sockings?"
+SLAP+
"Ouch." Niklas commented, then turned around and walked back to the table, rubbing his cheek with a wry grin on his face. "Girls are weird. Can't imagine what got her all riled up like that."
- Hawk
***
*/Feel like giving me a hand here?/*
*/THAT DEPENDS... WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?/*
*/Dunno, something flashy and impressive that'll scare the crap out of them./*
*/WHY DON'T YOU TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF? THAT'LL HAVE JUST ABOUT THE SAME EFFECT./*
*/Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha./*
- Hawk and Thevatenu