Another blade in a second

PCHeintz72

The Sentient Fanfic Search Engine mk II
HotelKatz said:
And I recall that there was a Love hina fic that had a similar idea, except it didn't hide the fact that it borrowed a lot of elements from a very ecchi Manga called 'Yomeiro Choice'. Seriously, that manga seemed to border on hentai at times. Then again, the artist did do quite a few Hentai, but none that was my cup of tea.

If I recall correctly about the Love hina fic, Shinobu's kid was hinted at being the evilest out of all the future kids and that she was good friends with her timeline's version of Su.

Not sure if it's a shame or not that I can't find the fic at the moment. Then again, I suspect that the fic was also abandoned as well.

But doing little omakes with a brief story for each kid and how Keitaro hooked up to their mother does sound like a fun lark.

So with your suggestion, PCHeintz72 , is it each a separate Omake for each kid with no connection to the others, or is it a bunch of connected omakes where each kid shows up just after the previous one finishes their tale of how Keitaro chose their mother?
Welll... I had thought a setup chapter, then one for each kid to explain the relationship. Though that would mean a whole mini connected story across chapters... uncertain you would want that much effort. Instead you could do it as a repeating oneshot. Start each omake chapter with a portal opening up on Keitaro, a kid pops out, and explains whom kid of and how parent met, then kid disappears again, assured that now that Keitaro know, he will pick the right girl. Each chapter could be a separate continuity, and they would never meet nor him remember the others. Or you could have him remember them, but that leads to more work.
 

HotelKatz

Well-Known Member
I don't mind doing a series of connected omakes. I'm doing something similar with my A!MG what if fic for a few stories that go on for more than one chapter. One of them is a cat girl virus that has a fox girl strain.

Dammit, now I have the slight urge to write an omake where the tenants catch the cat girl virus.

But enough of that.

I don't know which I should do really. seperate continuities and him not recalling any of them sounds safer, but him remembering all has the benefit of a chapter where all the kids meet each other and the mothers meeting their possible future kids.

Now to plot how Keitaro might have wound up with one of the girls for the 'future child' omakes.

Kitsune - dealing with the Aoyamas because of Tomoko's actions stressed Keitaro a lot. enough so that Kitsune made him go out with her to a bar. Keitaro enjoyed it, so he made it a weekly thing. he and Kitsune went out enough that they considered and eventually became a couple.

Mutsumi - Something similar to Kitsune's but with different locations.

Naru - She realized what Tomoko was planning on doing (hooking Keitaro up with Motoko) and also realized that It had a good chance at happening. that shocked her enough to make her learn how to reel in her temper and actually make her be forward with how she feels to Keitaro.

Shinobu - child came from a timeline where Keitaro pretty much held off on dating for a long time because he had a nasty breakup with Naru when either Mutsumi or Tomoko forced Naru to confront her feelings. , Keitaro eventually warmed back up to the idea of dating after a few years, but since Shinobu helped him a lot during over the years with chores and tasks in the Hinata, he decides to give dating Shinobu a shot.

Kanako - ?

Sarah - ?

Su - ?
 

PCHeintz72

The Sentient Fanfic Search Engine mk II
If including Kanako, then include Tsuruko and Haruka... the WTF shock factor would fit the omakes...
 

HotelKatz

Well-Known Member
Y'know, I was actually debating about adding Haruka, But I'll add her and Tsuruko to the list.
 

HotelKatz

Well-Known Member
Warning : This post contains rambling about what possessed me to write the fic. The last bit even surprised me when I wrote it.

Maybe it's the post-holiday blues talking, but I'm starting to despise Tomoko a little bit.

Her response to Keitaro's death was to run away into the past. Any changes she wants to do are kinda meaningless. Her Keitaro is dead, and no matter what she does, that fact won't change.

But there's the part of me that still likes Tomoko. It says that the current timeline's Keitaro would be grateful to Tomoko for saving him, so it matters to him. Heck, the part even says that if Keitaro chooses Motoko, then the two could help Tomoko be willing to accept her own timeline and Su could somehow contact and work with Future Su to send Tomoko back.

but the part of me that dislikes Tomoko still thinks of her as a coward that runs away whenever things get too hard.

The 'likes Tomoko' part part then responds with that perhaps I was writing the fic to deal with my father's death, which had happened a few months before I started on the fic. Only I used cute girls to try and cover it up, like a stage magician sometimes does with their stage acts. Rather than mourn, I wrote a love hina fic.
 

PCHeintz72

The Sentient Fanfic Search Engine mk II
Bah... I think you have the wrong mindset.

I did not get the impression that she refused to accept what happened and fleeing to the past was to escape it... I think, if anything, she is trying to atone for it, that it is too late for her Keitaro, and nothing can be done... but if she can help save even one Keitaro, somewhere, she can make up for her wrong.

Despite being some x years older she is not innocent nor perfect, she is not going to undo anything that already occured, but prevent even one recurrence. She has slipped so badly about the only ones to not know some version of what is occurring is Haruka and Keitaro.

Tsuruko already pointed out a few of her mistakes. I've pointed out a few more in scattered posts here.

As late as it was, Tomoko learned her lessons, at terrible cost (her Keitaros death).

In some ways, that still makes her better than the Motoko of the current timeline, whom has not learned any of her lessions, and both fears and derides the current Keitaro.

As such, I actually like Tomoko better than Motoko.

EDIT: consider this, of those whom know some version of Tomoko's time traveling, some suspect something bad happened to the Keitaro, and yet still they are not doing anything different... How is that for an indication of lack of remorse or thoughtfulness in attempting to save him/undo it.

Keitaro, not knowing, is only seeing the disruptive aspects, and the fact she has upset several residents, and forced him into being part of the retribution between relatives of another clan, which is nominally, to him at least, not his business.
 

HotelKatz

Well-Known Member
Thanks, PCHeintz72. I apologize for sounding like a drama queen. I guess I did have the wrong mindset because of the post-holiday blues.

I've had some time to think about how the back story of 'Tsuruko and Keitaro's kid' omake would go. At the moment, I have 2 possible ones

1.) Her husband prevents an terrorist attack that was aimed at some magic conference, but dies because of it. Tsuruko, finding too many things remind her of her husband at the Aoyama compound, decides to go to the Hinata. She winds up playing peacemaker for a bit. She also becomes a bit close to Keitaro and even has the startings of a crush because of how much dedication he puts into the Hinata. Unknown to her, he puts more effort than usual into the Hinata because of how stressful things have gotten since Tomoko appeared. But she does get close enough so that she makes an effort to visit him every so often. Eventually, they become a couple.

2.) A divorce happens to her. She and Keitaro get close because Naru, when forced to admit her feelings for Keitaro, rejected him and left the Hinata. Motoko, seeing how happy they are with each other, gives the 'if you hurt her/him' to both and seems to have given up. Though there is rumors that Tsuruko's child has heard that Tsuruko sometimes let Motoko have a go with Keitaro. Tomoko either decided to wander wherever the winds take her or went to Molmol to live with Su.
 
maybe a mix of one and two?
like their marriage became troubled or they had began distancing from eachother and started the divorce process when the Husband suffered a death-by-terrorists, then Tsuruko goes to Hinata a little more whole than in option one, but more hurt (or a different kind of hurt) than in two, stikes a friendship with Keitaro, Naru Screws up (like... most of the time, because of her trauma and insecurity) and then one day sometime later Motoko and Tomoko see the 'new' couple being all coupley and decide to accept them, cue separate and private Shovel talks to Keitaro and Tsuruko, who were oblivious to how intimate they were acting and decided to give themselves a chance.
 

PCHeintz72

The Sentient Fanfic Search Engine mk II
Are the 'shovel' talks, actually needed? I cannot see Tsuruko reacting well to Motoko doing that to Keitaro (really, if Keitaro did something to hurt Tsuruko, he 'd probably fear Tsuruko more than Motoko, as she can be one scary gal). And Naru really has no right (am I'm sure Tsuruko would easily point that fact out).
 
shovel talks, well i tough more like: "you make a nice couple and i recognize that you are a good person, but try to not hurt him/her".
but i like the Shovel Talks.

and i meant that Naru screws up her relationship with Keitaro, either by runing away or by denying her feelings and Keitaro finally giving up on her.
 

HotelKatz

Well-Known Member
To be honest, I see Tomoko's talk with Keitaro being something like

"You know what I can do, so don't hurt her."

And I see Tomoko preventing Motoko from giving Keitaro any kinda talk.

I figure it's Tsuruko that'll get a bigger talk from Tomoko. But I also think that both Motoko and Tomoko will feel betrayed by Tsuruko, even though neither laid a claim to Keitaro in that timeline.

And I think I'll use your idea of mixing the two possibilities, shioran.

And I'm currently writing the omake where Motoko's child comes back to tell her future parents about how they became a couple in the timeline that produced her.

Also, what genders should the kids be for each pairing?

At the moment, Motoko's child will be a girl, but due to the lack of focus on her in the omake, she can be re-written to be a boy.
 
nah, it would be more funny if most were Girls, Gorgeous, Cute Little(not so) Darlings, because that would Drive Keitaro Nuts (really, really nuts in trying to overprotect the Not So Little girls while they have him wrapped around their fingers.)
 

HotelKatz

Well-Known Member
Well, at the moment, I kinda plan for the girls to show up and tell their parents a bit about how they became a couple. And then the child goes back to their own timeline before the next child appears to do the same thing.

But that makes the Tsuruko and Keitaro child have a tragic backstory.

Edit- Any one feel like naming the girls? At the moment, Motoko's daughter is named Minako.
 

HotelKatz

Well-Known Member
And here is the start of the 'daughters from the future come to visit' omakes.

Disclaimer: I don't own love Hina

-oOoOoOo-

Keitaro, Motoko, and Tomoko were drinking tea and were currently discussing how the situation with Motoko being Keitaro's servant was going to be.

“All I'm pretty much am going to do is have Motoko not attack me as much as before. I'm in my right to decide if that is enough for Motoko to serve me,” Keitaro said, briefly giving Tomoko an annoyed glare.

“Mr. Urashima, what if one of the Aoyama elders decide to give a surprise visit?” Tomoko asked.

Keitaro had a brief chuckle.

“Then I either claim that I'm giving Motoko a brief respite from her normal duties or you tell me if they're making a visit in advance, so I can set it up that it clearly looks like Motoko is my servant,” Keitaro answered. He looked over at Motoko, who seemed more interested in the floor. “Motoko, are you feeling alright?”

Motoko looked up at Keitaro . She had a bit of a fake smile on her face that tried to hide her anger and pain at being Keitaro's servant.

“Oh, I'm fine. It's just I feel a tad uncomfortable at lying to the elders...” Motoko replied. Even her tone said that wasn't the case.

“Trust me, when you get into more meetings with the elders, you'll quickly learn to tell half-truths to their faces and to be good at it,” Tomoko darkly muttered, a touch of anger on her brow. She seemed to be reminiscing about a few things in her memory.

“I take it you don't like some of the stuff they do?” Keitaro asked.

“Too many people stuck in the past, thinking that change is only a dream,” Tomoko said. She then remembered where she was and who she was talking to. She then quickly said, “I've listened in on a number of meetings when I was younger and attended a few before I went on my sabbatical.”

“Ah...” Keitaro muttered.

Motoko was about to say something when a “Vhoooom” Noise was heard. Before anyone could react, a rainbow colored portal opened up. Tomoko recognized being similar to the one she used to travel to the current timeline, but this one was more stable-looking.

To her and the others' surprise, a cheerful teenage girl a little younger than Su or Shinobu walked out of the portal. She was wearing the Aoyama Hakama and had a high-tech wristwatch on her left arm. There was a three-eyed symbol on the watch.

“Hello, Future mother. Hello Future Father. Hello, Future Aunt Tomoko,” The girl said. “My name is Minako!”

“W... W... Whaaat?!” Motoko loudly uttered, pointing at Minako. She then pointed at Keitaro as she said, “ You mean I.... with him? How? HOW?!”

“From what I was told, you and him started to fall for each other after awhile. You told me that you started to enjoy his presence, regardless of whether you are a servant or not. Aunt Kitsune will try to convince him to make you wear a maid uniform, but he refuses. Funny thing is, either she convinces you to, or you decided to wear it on your own after awhile, much to his chagrin,” Minako replied with a shrug.

“W-What?! That can't be possible!” Motoko yelled, grabbing at her own head and tugging at her hair as she started to panic.

“Motoko, please calm down!” Keitaro said, reaching for her in hopes of somehow shaking her out of her panicked state.

She quickly stepped away from him, a wild look was in her eyes. “Calm down? Calm down? I wind up married to you because of her!” Motoko yelled, pointing at Tomoko.

“But I thought you'd be happy to learn that you'd get a daughter like me...” Minako muttered, before she ran off with tears in her eyes.

That seemed enough to get Motoko out of her panicked state.

“I hope you're happy, Motoko. You managed to make your future daughter cry and probably think that her mother hates anything to do with her father,” Tomoko uttered. There was a cold fury entering her voice with with each word.

“Just because she claims-” Motoko muttered before Tomoko shot her with a glare that clearly stated 'SILENCE!' The younger Aoyama found the ability to speak had left her.

“If you had been paying attention, you would have spotted Su's three-eyed symbol on the wristwatch she had. If she was from the future, then wouldn't it be possible for our little inventor to create a way to time travel?” Tomoko asked, as she got up and walked over to Motoko to look her in the eyes with only a few inches between them.

Motoko nodded slightly as fear ran down her spine.

“What are your thoughts, Mr. Urashima?” Tomoko asked. When there was no response, both Aoyama looked around for the Landlord. “He's gone!”

-oOo-

Keitaro, even though he still had the cast on, had managed to follow Minako to the roof balcony where Motoko liked to train.

“I screwed up so bad....” Minako muttered as she rubbed her eyes to try and clear away the tears.

“No, you didn't. You just entered a time period where your mother was a tsundere and your father was a clumsy daydreamer,” Keitaro said, surprising Minako.

“I guess... How did you follow after me so fast with your cast still on?” Minako asked, backing away a bit.

Keitaro looked down for a few moments, thinking about how he was able to.

“I honestly don't know,” Keitaro muttered. He then looked at Minako. “But please stop backing away.”

“I'm afraid you might hate me as well...” Minako replied in a quiet voice that was a bit scared.

“Heh, seems like you inherited my self doubt,” Keitaro said with a chuckle. That seemed to cheer Minako up a little.

“Maybe. You seem so strong and confident in my timeline,” Minako said, as she leaned against a railing and looked off into the distance. She sounded less scared and sad as she muttered“You still kinda are, but not as much.”

“I guess I had time to grow, but please forgive Motoko for how she acted. Tomoko kinda put her through a difficult trial,” Keitaro replied.

“I know. It's why I went back to this time, in hopes that I might cheer her up,” Minako said back.

“Speaking of timetravel, so I get married to Motoko?” Keitaro asked, doing his best at hiding the pain that he wasn't going to get married to his promise girl.

“In my timeline, yes. For this timeline, I'm just trying to convince you and Motoko to get together, so you can have me,” Minako said.

“Wait, does that mean you'll still exist, no matter what happens?” Keitaro asked in a bit of a surprised tone.

“Yeah, but wouldn't you want to have a cute daughter like me, future Dad?” Minako asked as she stepped away from the railing to make a cutesy pose that ended with her winking at Keitaro.

Keitaro smiled to himself before he said, “Since you've calmed down, shall we go back to Motoko and Tomoko? I bet Your future mother is willing to apologize for how she acted.”

“Oh-okay...” Minako said, sounding unsure of herself once again. “Can... Can I hold onto you for support?”

Keitaro nodded and said in a bit of a joking manner, “Just make sure not to hold onto me too tight. I think you've probably inherited your mother's strength.”

Minako smiled as she said, “No promises.”

-oOo-

Keitaro and Minako entered the living room to find it empty.

“Where are they?” Keitaro asked, not expecting a response.

Before Minako could say anything, Motoko was heard saying, “There you two are!”

Keitaro and Minako turned around and saw Motoko rushing at them. Motoko took Minako away from Keitaro and said, “I apologize for how I acted! I did not mean to make you think I hated you, I was stressed from recent events!”

“I forgive you, but Future Father already explained that to me,”Minako said.

“Ah... Yes... I should have expected that...” Motoko muttered, as a slight smile appeared on her face. It was the kind of smile that kinda looked sad in one light, but in another light, it seemed to say, 'he's better than I thought he was'.

Tomoko walked in, knowing where the trio was after Motoko's shouting. She looked around and wasa bit pleased.

“I take it everything is fine?” Tomoko asked.

“Yeah, I have some other-” Minako said, before her wristwatch starting beeping. “Oops! Su's letting me know that I need to go back right now!”

“Oh? What for?” Motoko asked.

“Your future selves are about to enter her lab and I kinda went back in time without their permission,” Minako said, after stepping away and pressing a button on her wristwatch. The timeportal opened up with a 'Vhoooom', showing a more-high tech version of Su's lab. Minako stepped in, waving at her would-be parents before the portal closed.

After a few moments, Motoko faced Keitaro and said “I.. apologize, Urashima, for my actions. I'd ask if there was any way if I could make it up, but....”

“Yeah, I know... but I do forgive you,” Keitaro said. Both he and Motoko smiled. Tomoko smiled as well, but there was a slight pain in her heart, as there still was a part of her that wanted to be in Motoko's place.

A 'Vhoooom' sound shook everyone out of the blissful moment. They looked around and saw a girl that almost could pass for Minako's twin, except this girl seemed almost emotionless, or kept her emotions under a heavy guard.

“Hello, past version of Mother. Hello, past version of Father, Hello, past version of Aunt Motoko. I am Akemi,” The girl said.

Tomoko, Motoko, and Keitaro all said the same thing, “What.”

If anyone has better names, I'd be happy to hear them.
 

PCHeintz72

The Sentient Fanfic Search Engine mk II
"pancked state."

Spelling


So... Motoko's is cheerful, but Tomoko's is more like Rei from evangelion or D from dual? Weird.
 

HotelKatz

Well-Known Member
Thanks once again for your help, PCHeintz72. I'll make that correction later.

As for Akemi's personality, it was a spur of the moment decision to how to make her different from Minako.

I was tempted to put in a scene where after Akemi appears, Motoko tries to attack Keitaro out of a belief that he will cheat on her, but Akemi blocks the attack and states that she is from a timeline where he never married Motoko.

But after the brief scene where Keitaro cheered Motoko up, it seemed out of place and kinda pointless. So maybe it'll be the start of the next chapter? Then again, I'm not sure I care much for what I just described. So I might not use it.

For the other daughters, I'm open to suggestions to their personality, looks, and names.
 

HotelKatz

Well-Known Member
Maybe. I honestly haven't planned much of Akemi's personality.

EdiT- Should one of the upcoming daughters be from a timeline where Motoko and Tomoko merged?
 
HotelKatz said:
Maybe. I honestly haven't planned much of Akemi's personality.

EdiT- Should one of the upcoming daughters be from a timeline where Motoko and Tomoko merged?
Elaborate on that, if you would?
 

HotelKatz

Well-Known Member
The merged Motoko/Tomoko was something that was talked about at one point or another in this topic for a way for both of them to have Keitaro.

One way for it to happen was that because Tomoko wasn't part of the timeline that the fic takes place in, she'd start to get pulled back to her own timeline. Merging with Motoko would have allowed her to stay and for Motoko to gain Tomoko's maturity.
 
forceful merging seems forged, natural desestabilization of tomoko's matrix and assimilation by Motoko would be more palatable to me, like Jammie Maddox reabsorbing his duds
 

HotelKatz

Well-Known Member
I was planning more for the merger was to prevent Tomoko from getting lost between a cold and empty void between timelines because the timeline she was in was starting to reject her than anything else.

But then I think that that someone here suggested that after an event where Motoko learns of Tomoko's true identity, Motoko suggests they merge to share Keitaro. Motoko gains Tomoko's experience and Tomoko gets a second chance to be with Keitaro as Motoko.

But that also sounds kinda good, shioran toushin.

As for the third chapter in the 'future daughters' omake, I kinda want to go with Kitsune. but there's a part of me that says since my current plan for Mutsumi's daughter is pretty much the same as Kitsune's daughter at the moment, I might as well bring both of the daughters in for the chapter.
 

PCHeintz72

The Sentient Fanfic Search Engine mk II
I'm not actually in favor of a merger, to be honest.

Oh... and as merely a FYI... one very minor oddity I've been meaning to mention but forgetting that I came across. This story on FF.NET does not actually have the Genre specified, that is not really a problem per se on FF.NET, as that is allowed. However I know for a fact missing or unanswered Genre tag is a issue with some of the story downloaders as it is currently listing the matchup for the Genre tag. This is of course not a issue on your part but the downloader, but it is correctable by you by merely specifying the Genre. I notice most of your stories do not have it specified.
 

HotelKatz

Well-Known Member
Yeah after a few days of thinking about the merger idea while writing the Akemi chapter , I kinda agree with you about the merger. As fun as it might seem, it changes the flavor of the fic a bit too far. Maybe it'd be okay for a spin-off, but not one I'd write.

As for the Genre of my fics, I honestly had forgotten to set it for most of my fics. But I had ABiaS set on General because I wasn't too sure how the fic would turn out to be.

But it kinda seems like it's setting up to be a hurt/comfort and maybe friendship? Or perhaps romance for the second one? What do you think the genre should be?
 
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