Anti-Naruto-Yaoi inspired response

[Genericrandom]

EDIT: I went back and re-read the challenge, so I changed a bit of the beginning and my æoutlineÆ for laterà I think itÆs a bit funnier, and it will be later, considering the flash of inspiration I had.

For some reason, I've found myself able to actually take an idea (or the beginning of one anyway) and do something with it. Disturbingly, they both involved Sasuke, which is strange since the only Uchiha I've ever been any sort of a fan of is Itachi.

Anyway, I checked out Mr. Mysterious' Anti-Naruto-Yaoi challenge and was reminded of either a one-off or a part of a crack-fic with a similar element. Naruto and Sasuke getting each others body. And, this came out fairly easily.

This is only the third time I've tried my hand at this, so be sure to tell me what I'm doing both right and wrong. I'm not going to beg for feedback, but until I'm sure people really do enjoy reading what I'm doing the feedback-level may be directly connected to my output-level. Unless I get struck by an idea, obviously.

My ideas/outline/request for suggestions are at the bottom, so without further delay I present:

~~~
Response to:
The Anti-Naruto-Yaoi Challenge, Body Switching Idea that was Presented by Mr. Mysterious
~~~

ôIdiot, stop fidgeting!ö

ôBut itÆs taking so long! What could take so long about trying to read this guyÆs pee?!ö

ôItÆs chi you utter fool. Now knock it off before you interrupt the guyÆs concentration.ö

ôHey! You think you can make me shut up you arrogant bastard?ö

ôThatÆs it, IÆm going to turn you into a pretzel!ö

ôOh yeah! Take this! Kage Bunshin--ö

ôStop! We canÆt use chakra in this-- ö

ôùno Jutsu!ö

A crash. The sound of something magical shattering. A æOminous Feeling of Growing UneaseÆÖ.

Pain.

Capital P. Double underlined, italicized and bolded.

Searing. Burning. Hot. Stabbing. Pins & Needles. Knives. Throbbing. Raw.

Constant. Endless. Unfathomable. Infinite.

Capital P A I N pain.

Then, blackness.

~~~

ôWhatà happened?ö

A voice sounded to his left, ôWe were hoping you would be able to tell us that.ö Turning, he saw something that put him on edge on an indefinable, and undeniable level, but he couldnÆt figure out why. It was just a nurse standing there smiling at him.

ôYour jounin sensei and your third teammate found you and the other member of your team collapsed in the sealed room you were waiting in. Somehow, something interrupted the OnmyojiÆs chi readings for your client, something about a ægreat evil disturbance the likes of which had never been felt beforeÆ or the like.ö She helpfully filled him in. Minor warning bell number two.

Thinking back, the last thing he could recall was the damn bastard picking a fight with him while heÆd been innocently wondering why everything was taking so long. The next thing he knew, the prick had gotten completely bent out of shape and so heÆd responded in kind and thenà nothing.

ôThe last thing I recall was fighting with that idiot thenà I canÆt remember.ö He told her somewhat hesitantly. He was no stranger to passing out, whether it was from training or lying in wait too long without having a chance to eat or something, but for some reason, he felt like heÆd forgotten something. Something important.

ôWell,ö the nurse sniffed somewhat stiffly, as though she wanted to say a great deal more, ôI donÆt know what they were thinking putting you with that boy but at as long as youÆre alright, I suppose everything fine. And youÆll remember eventually no doubt. All you need is some rest.ö she soothed obsequiously before walking over and opening the door.

ôWeÆve finished all of our tests but we didnÆt find anything wrong. Your sensei okayed it, so you can check out as soon as you feel better. Please be more careful from now onàö

~~~

ôWhatà? Howà?ö He looked around to find himself standing in ankle deep water in what looked like a sewer.

ôHm. That is what I would like to know, little duckling.ö came the booming voiceà from right behind him.

Spinning around he saw a large gate, many times taller than himself, with a small, hard to make out piece of paper shaped like an ofuda where the lock ought to have been. Behind that, there was nothing but darkness. Darkness, and a feeling of extreme but latent malice that not even the battle between his sensei and the missing nin Momochi Zabuza could even begin to compare to.

Looking closer, but seeing nothing he shouted out his demand, ôWho said that! WhoÆs there?ö

His response was a deep, booming, mocking laughter. ôAh. You do not know then.ö

ôCome closer, and I shall tell you.ö Seeing nothing to be gained by standing there, he did that, not noticing the strange weight just above his ankles.

Once he drew close, however, he fell flat on his ass as a set of incredible, monstrous claws nearly vivisected him æsternum to stemÆ. ôGah!ö

Mindless of his position on the ground he could only stare as a giant pair of slit red eyes opened within the darkness. Eyes that held more malice than anything else imaginable. ôChe. I had hoped that the seal would not protect you, all things considered, but that damnable yellow rat was through, if not sane.ö

ôWhatà? Whoà?ö Unable to form a complete sentence, he could only stare in horrified awe as light seemed to suddenly penetrate the darkness just a little, revealing the large face of a fox. A fox straight from hell.

ôCloser the first time, duckling. Listen well, I shall speak but once. I am Kyuubi! The Nine-Tailed Demon Fox! Strongest of the Tailed Beasts! Lord of the Country you ants call Fire! I am the existence without peer!ö The voice was older than time, dark, malicious, vengeful. The incarnate of wrath itself. With a sudden movement the great beast threw itself side first against the bars of its prison, sending shockwaves under him. ôAnd thanks to your venerated Fourth Hokage, I am sealed within this pathetic body unless I divine a way to free myself. Howeverà that is what makes things so interesting. For you see this is not where you should be. Or rather, you are not wearing the face you should beàö

~~~

ôàSasuke-sama./Uchiha Sasukeö

~~~

ôà/àö
ôShit.ö

~~~

Remember. I need no more respect for continuity or characterization or jutsu than Kishimoto. I plan on referring to GHÆs (I think it was GH) Naruto done TFF style topic frequently. Or at least often. Maybe sometimes?

Timeframe is one month (or so) before the chuunin exam. Assuming they went to the Wave after a month/month and a half, and the chuunin exam takes place four months after that.

For the record, IÆm not a Sasuke fan. Quite the opposite. ThatÆs why he keeps getting fucked over. Literally the first time. This time? Sasuke and Orange. While I can obviously imagine it, and even make it happenà can you imagine KishimotoÆs Emo-duck wearing orange? Ever? (as an aside, but a purple bowÆs alright??) And while he might be able to beat his brother, having Naruto essentially æout UchihaÆ him at everything but aloof-asshole-ness and the fire element(?). And even then heÆll only be a better aloof-asshole until Naruto meets Neji. Naruto is probably a better actor so the concept æhow would Sasuke handle-thisÆ will quickly become an amusing element (as long as I donÆt forget).

Also, if you ever think this isnÆt funny enough or come up with a funny scene, please share. I plan for this to be humorà but I donÆt know if IÆm that funny, now do I?

[random question]Also, do I overuse blackouts?[/random question]

EDIT: It occurs to me that pointing people to the place I got the idea from might be good. It can be found here.

 

[TenguPhule]

I like it. :lol:

But then, I'm in that small minority that find Sasuke's character interesting in a non-yaoi way.

Go for it!

As for the Naru-in-Sasu going after Sakura, Ino and company....it would be interesting I think to have him discover that taking advantage of his new 'popularity' to play the field is not such a good idea when they find out about each other. Or even worse, trying to handle that many relationships and learning just how much their feelings are based on what they see rather then on who's inside. Does he learn that being popular solely by virtue of something that isn't really him is not at all what it looked like before when he was on the outside looking in?

 

[Genericrandom]

"It's not Yaoi if he's a girl." Or so I've heard the saying goes. Actually, there was a picture I ran across of Oiroke no jutsu Sasuke(Sasuko?)-chan that I think is actually where most of my Anti-Sasuke died. I just really rather liked it for some reason.

As far as interesting, I think all of the characters we've met so far can be interesting, but you often have to take a look at the character and the circumstances to date/some specific point to see that and not necessarily their actions/reactions and/or attitudes. I mean, really. A young boy forced to watch his family be murdered by his brother for 72 hours without escape. It's interesting. Not 100% original (although I can't think of any parallels that take it to that extent) but it's got a lot of ability to provoke some kind of thought (not always intelligent and not always negative).

Sakura keelhauling Naruto in Sasuke's form... I think it could go either way. I mean, she was willing to leave the village (and maybe it was a ploy, maybe not) for Sasuke so y'know, "So what if he's different? He's Sasuke!" on the other "Suddenly, Sasuke acts so much like Naruto. It's sick and twisted! NOOO!" :huh.:

With Ino... originally, she was more interested in competing with Sakura so far as I can remember. I might be mistaken (probably really), but from what I recall, Sakura didn't just end her friendship with Ino over a boy. She ended her friendship over a rumor that Ino liked a boy that she intended to start pursuing out of honest desire. The desire to fit in as well as to be in a relationship with Sasuke. Or so I recall. Don't murder me if I'm wrong, I'm not a fan of Sakura as a pairing, but I'm mostly neutral regarding her as a whole. I've read really good Naruto/Sakura stories that I like, so don't misunderstand. (I've also read stories that could easily be called character assassinations and liked them too ) Back to my point with Ino. Ino might not care for the actual Sasuke. Or she might. But I think what Ino was looking for, more than anything, was a hot guy that actually wanted her. So what if she had to convince the guy to want her (as the case with Sasuke) I got the impression that she was more interested in being wanted. In such a case, who's to say she'd even really stay with anyone, be they Naruto or Sasuke, or even Chouji or Sai or anyone else. Or, alternatively, ever break up with them.

Furthermore, I'm aiming for crack, even if I only hit humor, or amusement. So maybe he'll hook up with both of them, get dumped spectacularly and then hook up with Temari, Tayuya and Hanabi. :snigger: Or even Anko and Kruenai. "Her eyes are red Naruto! She's bound to have a higher chance of breeding the sharingan!" :rofl:

 

[TenguPhule]

"Her eyes are red Naruto! She's bound to have a higher chance of breeding the sharingan!"

That's a crack-fic that needs to be done right there. :lol:

 

[Mr. Mysterious]

As promised, so delivered...

Well, first thing I'd suggest is leaving the first 'chapter' as a response... then posting the whole and continuing part in the main Naruto 'Previews' forum. You'll almost be guaranteed more reviews/responses that way. I honestly didn't notice this until it was brought to my attention, or I would have already commented on it. :sisi:

Now, after reading it... first thoughts, it has a decent start. I didn't much like the part where you told us what was going to happen, though. I would have rather seen that shown as a part of the story.

And honestly I think trying to take it crack would hurt the story as you have it posed. This has a good start for a moderately serious story with crack-like elements... in other words, a good start for your average anime/manga. Keeping it moderately serious with crack elements for humor, as you mostly have it here, I think would work really well for you. :sisi:

Now for my thoughts about the storyline...

And so they just fall into their roles as Uzumaki Sasuke, the demon container, and Uchiha Naruto, the nice guy prodigy of Konoha.

So it would need to come out rather soon that Fake!Naruto is really Sasuke and Fake!Sasuke is really Naruto, if you're going by the 'twisted' idea that I came up with. And not just for that reason, but also because it will likely get really confusing trying to continually deal with the name issue. Once it's established, with everyone, that Naruto is now Uchiha Naruto and Sasuke is now Uzumaki Sasuke, the name issue mostly fades into the background. It would make telling the story a whole hell of a lot easier.

Also, Naruto has to piss Sasuke off by showing he can make Sasuke's body into just as much (if not more) of a stamina monster than his old one was. Sasuke gaping as Naruto pulls off a few thousand Kage Bunshin all by his lonesome in Sasuke's body, without even being winded... that's just funny.

But that's just if you're going by the vague outline I came up with.

If you're just going to use the basic premise, and not go by that outline, then... I dunno. A big part of what I liked about that idea was that people accepted Naruto, not just someone who acted like Naruto, and that Naruto got to show Sasuke up in the process. :sisi:

Plus I really find the idea of something like the below happening really funny:

"HEY! NARUTO, YOU IDIOT! YOU FORGOT YOUR RAMEN!" Kiba shouted down the street.

Naruto spun around, forgetting he was in Sasuke's body for the moment, and bellowed back, "SHUT THE HELL UP, DOG BREATH! I DIDN'T FORGET A DAMN THING!" Meanwhile, Sasuke had just kept on walking. Neither of them noticed that Sakura was looking between them with wide eyes. "I OUGHTA COME KICK YOUR WET DOG SMELLING ASS, FLEABAG!"

Suddenly Sasuke remembered who he looked like, and slapped hand to forehead. "Sonuvabitch."

"You switched bodies! That's why you've been acting so weird," Sakura gasped, then looked between them. Without warning, she glomped onto Naruto, who she believed had just been Sasuke finally warming to her advances. "NARUTO, GO OUT WITH ME!"

"Sonuvabitch," Sasuke repeated. "Well, since you two have completely ruined our mission," he muttered, trying to ignore the way his ears were burning, "we better go tell Hokage-sama the secret is out." Naruto wasn't paying any attention, as he pulled Sakura away with a wide grin on his new face. "Well, at least she's leaving me alone, now."

Anyway, the thing about Ino and Sakura's rivalry being Ino just 'competing' and not really having a thing for Sasuke is fanon. It may actually be the case, but there is nothing to support or detract from the idea, really. So you could go that route or not, it's pretty much up to you. :sisi:

As for the TFF Made thing... it's alright as a guide if you're completely re-writing Naruto from the very start, where you can explain it all as you go along. But for a story based off of canon in any fashion, it is just going to lead to a lot of confusion. Especially if you post it elsewhere. People who know canon are going to point out your 'mistakes,' and I'd likely be one of them... I actually like most of the stuff in Naruto. Well, aside from certain storyline elements (Naruto is an idiot who can't do anything right and in three years learned pretty much jack) that have annoyed me... most of the ideas are still fairly usable, even if you don't particularly like the way the storyline itself is going. :huh.:

That's just my thoughts, though.

So, regardless of all that... when do we see the next part?

 

[Genericrandom]

Now, after reading it... first thoughts, it has a decent start. I didn't much like the part where you told us what was going to happen, though. I would have rather seen that shown as a part of the story.

And if I'd had more ideas, I wouldn't posted it. However, since thigns are already changing, feel free to forget lots of it, parts won't stay, but some will. And next time, I'll remember to include the actual 'outline like' elements in a spoiler-tag. :headbanger: :headbanger: :headbanger:

As for the TFF Made thing... it's alright as a guide if you're completely re-writing Naruto from the very start, where you can explain it all as you go along.

That's... actually a really, really good point. Hm. Well, maybe, maybe not. I hadn't actually considered that so, we'll see.

Anyway, the thing about Ino and Sakura's rivalry being Ino just 'competing' and not really having a thing for Sasuke is fanon. It may actually be the case, but there is nothing to support or detract from the idea, really. So you could go that route or not, it's pretty much up to you. :sisi:

Right. And I'm not quite sure where to go with that 'cuz I want to at least imply lots of kinky goings on in the background, but I'm not sure with whom(s) yet and all, and need ideas still. And, while I like Ino fairly much, I think she'd be funnier as more of a plot element than an actual contender.

So it would need to come out rather soon that Fake!Naruto is really Sasuke and Fake!Sasuke is really Naruto, if you're going by the 'twisted' idea that I came up with. And not just for that reason, but also because it will likely get really confusing trying to continually deal with the name issue. Once it's established, with everyone, that Naruto is now Uchiha Naruto and Sasuke is now Uzumaki Sasuke, the name issue mostly fades into the background. It would make telling the story a whole hell of a lot easier.

And yet another point that failed to really register when I decided to start this... but now that I have, and having that little bit for inspiration, I've come up with something. Or is it something?

Anyway, this next bit would probably be the end of the chapter, or maybe the following chapter... or it could even take place in the middle, but it's so much better as an end.

So, going with what you said about mostly-serious, I thought,

'Well, aside from some humor to suit my dry, sardonic and irony filled sense of humour, why not introduce "Team 8, Ninja's on a lifelong Daypass"? Regular ninjas 'by day' as it were, by the proverbial 'night' they're eaisly panicked, they all have at least one obsession on top of the neurotic behavior that led the third Hokage to put them all together. Better to keep them all in one spot where they're easy to keep an eye on and less likely to influence neuroses in other people, or start them.'

Or, I could use that as an omake theme.

But I'm already kinda attached, and I've only written Pervy-Stalker Hinata-chan and Eating-Habit-Bloodhound Kiba-kun. I've not really decided what to do with Shino and Kurenai yet (and she'll probably be the second worst but most able to hide it of the lot) and, of course, there's Akamaru.

~~~
Team 8: Out on a Lifelong Daypass
~~~

It was a well kept secret of Uchiha SasukeÆs. It is a well kept secret of æUzumakiÆ SasukeÆs. He has a thing for sharp, pointy objects. Every week, he made it a point to ditch the fangirls, and stop by a particular weapons shop. HeÆd dress like a civilian, flimsy sandals and all, put on a really big hat, and stare at all the sharp objects. Now, he just went to the store and stayed out of direct view. It had started as trying to figure out exactly what weapon he wanted to use to kill his brother, but these days it was really a fetish.

It was an, unbeknownst to her, open secret of Hyuuga HinataÆs that she stalked Uzumaki Naruto. SheÆd sneak around the village hiding behind walls, buildings, carts, and all manner of things, using her bloodline to spy on him. In the process of doing this, sheÆd learned a great deal of disturbing secrets about the villagers. She knew Yamanaka Ino read Icha Icha Paradise. She knew her teammate Inuzuka Kiba read romance novels. SheÆd run across Haruno Sakura buying enough gay porn to have obtained a bulk discount. She knew exactly how much Mitarashi Anko (though she didnÆt actually know her name) loved dango, as well as what the ANBU actually did around the village. She also knew just how much Uchiha Sasuke loved the sharp and pointy. So when she saw her [strikethrough]obsession[/strikethrough] crush Uzumaki æNarutoÆ staring at the weapons in SasukeÆs favorite store, with the same look on his face, the same posture and the same evidence of appreciation you really had to have the Byuakugan to see, she came to the third most illogical conclusion. It was also almost entirely correct.

ôOh no! Sasuke stole NarutoÆs body!!ö

~~~

At the same time on the in another part of the village, HinataÆs teammate Kiba was watching the most disturbing thing heÆd seen since heÆd walked on his mom and her partner Kuromaru during a ætraining sessionÆ. Obviously, she didnÆt miss his dad too much anymore.

People often said Kiba was a loud-mouthed brash idiot. While this was true, it didnÆt mean that he was unobservant or unaware. ItÆs just that his æpassionate Inuzuka bloodÆ often lead to him acting before his brain could engage. And one thing that he knew better than anything else, was how a person ate. It was a strange skill to have, but using all of his highly advanced senses except for touch (and even that had a few ways to be employed) he could tell you who a person was just by watching them eat. Although his ability to detect henge, or any genjutsu was fairly low, and few worked on him in the first place because of how powerful his senses are (though the ones that did were far more dangerous because of that) he usually only need one or two senses to tell you who a person was by watching them eat if heÆd seen them eat even just once before. It was actually thanks to that odd skill heÆd passed the academy with grades as high as he did.

HeÆd seen æSasukeÆ at Ichiraku Ramen, supposedly waiting for his teammate to show up. To pass the time, heÆd ordered a bowl of ramen, and proceeded to devour it. Just. Like. Naruto. Not slightly like. Not æin a manner that resembledÆ, everything was identical. From the way he broke the chopsticks to the timing of his chewing, all the way to the sounds he made when he swallowed. He stood there dumbfounded as the person that looked like Sasuke but simply had to be Naruto looked up at the clock, ordered a bowl of ramen to go and said he would obviously have to æhunt downÆ his idiot teammate since he must have forgotten to come here. Following that Naruto-that-looked-like-Sasuke around the corner, Kiba witnessed the doppelganger with SasukeÆs annoying scent (stuck-up-bastard with a liberal dash of expensive leather and more expensive cologneà though that part was really weak today) open the ramen bowl and devour it. Just. Like. Naruto. He quickly came to the second most illogical conclusion possible. It actually made a bit more sense than HinataÆs too.

ôOh my god! Akamaru! Naruto somehow stole SasukeÆs body to get his fangirls!ö

~~~

Simultaneously, they both ran in the direction of the HokageÆs tower screaming at the top of their lungs.
ôSauske/Nartuo stole NarutoÆs/SasukeÆs body!ö

So much for a secret.

However, upon meeting up on the main street to the tower, they ran into each other. Literally. Seeing one of their teammates, or rather, Akamaru and Hinata seeing each other as theyÆd both landed on top of Kiba, they immediately tried to recruit help to fix this mess.

Bad.

ôA-Akamaru! O-oh! Kiba! Help! Sasuke stole NarutoÆs body somehow! We have to tell the Hokage!ö

ôGaahh, Hinata! Wait, what? No! Naruto stole SasukeÆs body! I saw him eating ramen!ö

ôB-but I, I just saw Sasuke in NarutoÆs body drooling over the weapons just like Sasuke does in his own body!ö

Worse.

ôThenà theyÆre in each otherÆs bodies? Oh My GOD! Hinata! That means aliens are running around switching peopleÆs bodies! We have to warn everyone! Akamaru! You warn the rest of the family! Hinata! Tell your clan! IÆll inform the Hokage!ö

And so, the two members of Team 8 as well as Akamaru split off in three directions, yelling (and barking) at the top of their lungs.

Worst.

ôAliens are running around switching peopleÆs bodies and theyÆve already gotten to Naruto and Sasuke!ö

~~~

As far as the rest of the chapter, tomorrow, I think. Work has reared it's ugly head for today. Ah, the joys of freelance. I've got some of the next bit done, but not enough to actually post, just yet.

Always feel free to throw ideas at me. Always.

 

[Prince Charon]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

 

[Mr. Mysterious]

Sweeeeeet. :rofl:

 

[GenocideHeart]

I just want to see Pedomaru's reaction. :rofl:

 

[Moshulel]

LoL

Moar!

:snigger: :snigger: :snigger:

 

[Genericrandom]

So my aunt is one of the six coolest people I know. She lived nearby until I was eleven, after which point she got remarried and moved elsewhere with my cousin (also one of the six coolest people I know) and now we see her like, once a year if we're lucky. She's in town for the week (and change) right now (the week having started last Monday), and you can have the greatest most thought provoking conversations with her. As a result, this snippet is about three hours of work shorter than it would have been. Or so, I probably would have stopped before three hours, but I think you get the picture.

Anyway, and I like that word 'anyway' it's a good word, the last snippet goes somewhere later on since I liked it so much and it got a decent reaction, I'm not sure where yet, but when I reach that point, it'll be fairly obvious. It also goes much further after this part. I'll probably call it a 'chapter' after the upcoming meeting with the Hokage, unless I decide it's not long enough to be a chapter.

Comment, please, and be sure to tell me what you liked even if you neglect to mention why. Or, you can just encourage me to keep going, and blame yourselves when you come up with a really good idea that it'll be too late for me to use by that point. Remember, comments and snippets are what spawned this thing.

With no further ado:

~~~
Things progress. And digress. Mostly digress.
~~~

Having checked himself out of the hospital where nearly everyone was wishing him well, and wasnÆt that novel, Naruto, wearing SasukeÆs face had asked at the counter where æNarutoÆ was. Being told that the doctors had found nothing wrong with him, so theyÆd already checked him out. Thus, heÆd gone looking for Sasuke. Knowing that normally he could never waste any time around the hospital, he headed to the first place he could think of to look, IchirakuÆs Ramen stand.

On the way there, he noticed a significantly different atmosphere, almost as though the village was brighter. He couldnÆt really point to just one factor, the people seemed happier, the scenes around him more natural, brighter. It was kinda strange, but overall pretty nice.

Unfortunately, while IchirakuÆs was where he would have gone, it obviously wasnÆt where Sasuke would, even if he was now wearing NarutoÆs face. Ordering a bowl of ramen to think, he quickly ate the bowl, though much slower than he normally would have, while trying to figure out what to do next. Not really knowing any of SasukeÆs hobbies, the only place he could think of was the training grounds. And while he was there, he might as well figure out just how well his current shape really worked.

HeÆd always kinda wondered what exactly made the Sharingan so special.

~~~

ôKaton: Goukakyuu no Jutsu!ö

Targeting a log, Sasuke performed one of his signature techniques, having been unable to get to his own body in the hospital, and not really caring to wait around. Letting go of the jutsu after a full minute, he saw nothing left but a scorch mark.

ôThatÆs the 35th consecutive time IÆve performed that jutsuà I knew Naruto had a lot of stamina, but this is more than ridiculous. And I havenÆt even touched æthatÆ chakra yetàö It was a bit humbling for the tragic avenger to find that the teammate heÆd originally thought useless and had always considered to be at the most useless ninja to graduate with his class from the academy had so much more chakra than he did. It also implied just how bad NarutoÆs chakra control must have been before Kakashi had taught them the tree-walking exercise. Of course, on that point it was mostly conjecture from Sasuke, since he didnÆt know exactly how much energy Shadow Clones took.

Continuing to ponder the wonders of being able to keep throwing around fireballs until the Itachi died of old age, the one of the two gennin involved in the re-pioneering of the æout of body experienceÆ failed to notice time slipping away from him as the sun went down. Upon noticing, he cursed freely, having intended to search for Naruto later, and since his keys to the Uchiha district were with his own body he decided to just head to NarutoÆs apartment for the night. With a little luck, the idiot might even be there.

~~~

Although he was somewhat concerned for his students after the mishap during their last mission, the legendary Copy-Ninja of Konoha, jounin ranked nin Hatake Kakashi was too apathetic to really worry. At all. The doctors had said nothing was wrong, so he let checking on them wait until their scheduled team meeting the next day. But thatÆs not to say he didnÆt care at all. He showed up a full half hour earlier than his own norm, just to make sure they were alright. However, instead of finding three angry genin waiting for him, after far too much waiting, he found one absolutely furious genin.

Popping in, he greeted in his typical lazy fashion. ôYo. WhereÆs--ô Only to be rudely interrupted before getting more than two words out.

ôYOU!!ö As the psychopathic fangirl rounded on him, the laziest, perviest ninja in the Leaf pondered the fact that heÆd suspected staying in bed would have been a good idea today, but since that black cat had shown up in his apartment, heÆd decided to go anyway. Obviously, heÆd interpreted the sign wrong.

~~~

Several hours earlier at Team 7Æs meeting place, an irritated Uchiha Sasuke and an incredibly chipper Uzumaki Naruto had met up, long before even Sakura had shown up in her anal retentive pursuit to follow the rules, even when it was clearly pointless.

Shortly after theyÆd realized Kakashi was going to be late no matter what, Naruto had suggested they see how long heÆd keep it up, before they simply showed up later, similar to what their cell leader and teacher did. Sasuke also thought this a wise idea, considering that instead of waiting, he would be able to train, but before he could say anything, Sakura had lain into Naruto with a tirade that had peeled paint from the bridge they met on. Deciding that for once, discretion was the better part of valor, he held his tongue. Fangirl or not, he didnÆt want to be on the receiving end of that one.


Thusly, pointlessness of waiting and wasted time aside, Sasuke and Naruto both only occasionally showed up more than five or ten minutes late at the most. Occasionally, however, they would show up as much as a half hour early, simply because standing around waiting in boredom was better than listening to Sakura rant while waiting. Truly, if nothing else, both of the male gennin respected their teacher for being able to take the full force of SakuraÆs temper in regards to tardiness. As a result, they had on occasion had conversations with each other that could pass for civil in this rare, solitary time.

ôYou knowà when I woke up in the training field this morning, trying to fix the abhorrent lack of stamina I find myself with, I realized that I have no idea where I was supposed to have gone to shower and change more specifically than æthe Uchiha districtÆ. It was kind of inconvenient.ö Grumped the dark haired boy.

ôHn. If youÆd found me yesterday, that wouldnÆt have been an issue.ö Rejoined his blonde haired companion.

Rather than take offence, the first boy seemed more amused than anything. ôYeah, well, after covering half of the training grounds and not finding you, I figured IÆd just take advantage of where I was rather than waste even more time. I enjoyed moving so fast, andà I can see part of why everyone is so amazed with the bloodline.ö

ôI know. I managed to pull of the Gokakyuu thirty-five times and I wasnÆt even winded in the slightest. I actually didnÆt manage to use æthatÆ chakra because I never actually managed to run out.ö Was the brighter of the pairÆs easy response.

Although it was only slightly, æNarutoÆ saw æSasukeÆ tense slightly. Still, he masked the anxiety well, considering. ôYouà met him?ö

ôYeah. He explained quite a bit, and struck a deal with me. I take it thatÆs why you were always looked down upon so much growing up then?ö

ôA lot of it.ö He said. ôA fair bit of it was my pranks too. I decided early on if they were going to hate me, theyÆd hate me for things they could watch me do. I only found out the night I became a gennin, actually.ö

ôI seeàö

ôBut, Iruka accepted me. Called me his student. Knowing that not everyone hated me for it was enough to convince me that eventually, I could teach them all just who I am and force them to see me for who I am, not what I was protecting them from.ö

ôHn.ö

ôDid it have any information about what happened?ö æSauskeÆ asked, looking over at his regular familiar face wearing an entirely out of place expression.

ôNot really, only that it triggered a really old memory, but it only really recalled that it knew something, not what it knew. Honestly though, IÆm not too concerned. We worked out a deal, he and I. Against the regular Sharingan, once I can handle enough of its power, the SharinganÆs foresight abilities will be largely negated, or so it thinks. Such an ability against my brotherà it furthers my goal greatly.ö æNarutoÆ answered, before moving on. ôEven if we canÆt get this fixed, it isnÆt actually a bad thing for me.ö

ôThatÆs good then. Ià I know this was sorta maybe a little bit my fault soàö

ôStop. Done is done. We need to move forward now, not look back. We should probably tell the Hokage and see if he knows anything though.ö The brightly colored boy with the terribly dark attitude said before the other could make a fool of himself choking out the apology.

ôThatÆs a good idea. Butà we canÆt just go there. First, we have a little bit of preparing to do. You need to be able to deal with the Hokage just as well as I can, so IÆll teach you how to do my best original technique!ö

NarutoÆs smile on SasukeÆs faceà was a thing of true evil.

~~~


By the way, be sure to point out consistency errors. And comment. Hah, that was longer than I thought once I hit preview. Yay! h43r:

EDIT: Don't confuse Sakura's punctuality demonization as character bashing or Sakura hating. It's a gag. Obviously, everybody is a target for humor in this story so far (in my ne'er to be humbled opinion, writing Sasuke as a nice guy in any context is at least somewhat humorous). I have a dry sardonic wit. Or so I'm told. That's why Kakashi showed up half an hour earlier than the norm. He really was worried. He just... really likes to be late. That's why I've also decided whom Sakura will end up having kids with. Marriage may or may not happen. It's hardly original, but I think it's really amusing considering the premise of the fic. The character, Sakura getting knocked up is fairly uncommon. Is it? Well, from what I've seen here on TFF. And if it's not on TFF, it's not 1000% worth reading. 100% maybe, but not 1000%. That's my story and I'm sticking with it.

 

[GenocideHeart]

*snrk*

I like all of it. It's witty and funny. I especially like the whole 'malevolent foxy grin on Sasuke's face' idea. That'd be a sight to see, hehehe.

 

[Mr. Mysterious]

I'm liking it so far. :sisi:

My first suggestion of a plot point? I want to see Naruto show up Kakashi, using the Sharingan... just see him do something so totally unexpected with it that Kakashi is left going :huh!:. :sisi: Yup. That's going to screw with ol' scarecrow's head, if anything does. Plus it'll probably annoy Sasuke a little, too. :snigger:

 

[kuopiofi]

I need to check responses more often...
Planning to add this to Naruto previews? :hail:

 

[Genericrandom]

Yup, just as soon as I manage to finish what I'll call the first 'part'. I could make all kinds of excuses, but basically I've just been lazy and easily distracted so far. I've got most of it, I think, but the next part gave me some trouble and it was late so I said 'later' and... it's obviously not been later just yet. I'll post what I have, 'all' of it or what I've managed either tomorrow or Thursday evening, -7 GMT.

EDIT: Oh, and, I need a title. Suggestions are deman--begge--ahem, welcomed. *koff* :lol:

 

[Cornuthaum]

As for the title... you used something I'd take as title any day:

"Ominous Feeling of Growing UneaseÆÖ"

 

[TenguPhule]

Yup, just as soon as I manage to finish what I'll call the first 'part'. I could make all kinds of excuses, but basically I've just been lazy and easily distracted so far. I've got most of it, I think, but the next part gave me some trouble and it was late so I said 'later' and... it's obviously not been later just yet. I'll post what I have, 'all' of it or what I've managed either tomorrow or Thursday evening, -7 GMT.

EDIT: Oh, and, I need a title. Suggestions are deman--begge--ahem, welcomed. *koff*? :lol:

How's this for a title?

"Getting into the Other's Pants "

:snigger:

 

[Rhynim]

Kiba was watching the most disturbing thing heÆd seen since heÆd walked on his mom and her partner Kuromaru during a ætraining sessionÆ. Obviously, she didnÆt miss his dad too much anymore.

Good old bestiality jokes how rarely you are used.:rofl:


Any ways superb story. :yay:

 

[Genericrandom]

Although that would be the obvious idea, Inuzuka clan ninken aren't 'dogs' but rather 'intelligent canine lifeforms' and thus capable of things 'dogs' aren't. And, just judging by Kiba, the Inuzuka clan is at least slightly prone to cases of varying degress of narcissism.

Not to say you're not right too, just that it's not that simple.

 

[Genericrandom]

Well, I suppose I got what I wanted to do done for now. Be sure to tell me what you do and don't like, and what needs work.

But, I managed to pick a title at least. To be soon revealed.

I'll leave my questions I'd like feedback on for the end of the snippet, so as not to spoil a surprise or two.

~~~
Caution: Taking this medication has been linked to sudden, rapid increases in blood pressure primarily relieved through the nasal capillaries. This is normal and should not cause alarm. Do not seek medical attention if symptoms persist. TheyÆll laugh at you for it. Do not operate heavy machinery while taking this medication.
~~~

As Naruto as Sasuke approached the Central Administration Tower, where missions were handed out, promotions and disciplinary actions were processed, one fourth of the jounins had their offices and where the HokageÆs office was located, the citizens of Konoha all were treated to a terribly disturbing sight. Uchiha æSasukeÆ and Uzumaki æNarutoÆ bearing identical grins. Eyes slightly squinted, grins wide with teeth showing, hands behind the head with a demented swagger to the steps.

At one point, it got so disturbing, one particularly brave villager actually worked up the nerve to find out what the hell was going on.

ôAh, Sasuke-sama, is, is there any particular reason youÆre smiling and walking, likeà that with your teammate there?ö

Had someone asked the new Sasuke why æNarutoÆ was brooding like that theyÆd have gotten a rude response and been ignored after that. Naruto, however, was a very quick witted individual, even if those wits werenÆt sharp 100% of the time. æEh! I need an excuse. If only I had ramen. Ramen fixes everything. But Sasuke doesnÆt like ramen, the prick. I should make him look bad since this is his face. Ramen.Æ Or rather they were, they just tended to be overly focused.

So, scowling deeply while frowning at the audacious villager, a fairly difficult proposal, and drawing up his best æUchiha Mocking DrawlÖÆ only without the mocking tone, ôI lost a bet. I donÆt want to talk about it.ö He bit off curtly.

The poor villager, incidentally the owner of a sweets shop pre-massacre Sasuke had frequented and liked at the time, was taken aback, and more than a little unsettled by an incidentally recreated Uchiha Glare # 17: æWhy are you talking to me, peon?Æ ôA, a bet, Sasuke-sama?ö

ôYes. That I donÆt want to talk about. Now, I have to go talk to the Hokage, so.ö And with that, he resumed his previous expression and continued, ridiculously, towards Central Administration.

Once theyÆd made it out of earshot, the orange clothed genin turned to the duck-haired one with a smirk on his face. ôNot bad, idiot, you really cut the profile of an Uchiha there. I almost thought you were my bro--father there for a minute. But what the hell do you mean I ælost a betÆ? I havenÆt lost a bet since I was 5!ö

Although not showing it outwardly his immensely pleased teammate just chuckled before replying ôEheh, really? I always thought I could be an actor! That was your æYouÆre stupid for even approaching me, fangirlÆ look and your æIÆm so much better than you itÆs funnyÆ voice number 3. And didnÆt you tell me you never made a bet again after you lost one to your brother and had to wear a skirt for a week? Of course you havenÆt lost if you donÆt do it anymore!ö

Horrified that his companion remembered any of that night, which meant he might recall more, Sasuke changed the subject. ôAre you sure that we can actually get in to see the Hokage though? Even with all of the left over influence IÆve always needed to make an appointment to see him before.ö

ôJust do it like I told you at the bridge, youÆll see!ö was the Naruto-in-SasukeÆs-bodyÆs cheerful reply.

~~~

Had the pair lingered just a second longer, they would have fallen over hearing the now starry-eyed shop owners exclamation. ôHeÆs become a true Uchiha! The æFigure of the Brooding PrincessÆ has gone, to be replaced by the æProfile of the Superior Ninja Policing NinjaÆ! ItÆs like the KPC has been reborn! I must tell the others! Sasuke-sama has finally stopped acting like a spoiled girl!ö

~~~

ôHEY! Old Man! Uzumaki Naruto has arrived!ö Bursting in through the door, ignoring the startled secretary (who was new unknown to Sasuke though obviously so to Naruto) and dodging a half hearted attempt to grab him by one of the chuunin by the door (that were actually ANBU though Naruto only suspected and once again Sasuke had no idea) and taking a ridiculous pose the newest person to bear the name æUchihaÆ had spent twenty minutes making sure he could do properly. It was a lesson Sasuke wasnÆt soon to forget. Whenever he saw that smile on his face, or rather NarutoÆs now, heÆd just go along. He might hate what he ended up doing, and he might really regret it later, but nothing was worth fighting him when he started smiling like a fox. Of course, now that Sasuke knew what had been in Naruto, and now him, he found that comparison downright chilling, for reasons the villagers had mostly been spared from. Those that hadnÆt been, generally stayed as far away from Naruto as their positions in life afforded. Sometimes that meant taking transfers to Earth Country. But that was fine too, by comparison.

Despite the rude interruption, the old HokageÆs face seemed to brighten as he saw who the intruders were. ôAh, Naruto-kun, and Sasuke-kun as well. What can I do for you boys? I imagine this is about the incident on your last mission since itÆs the both of you.ö

Closing the door tightly and tripping the hidden privacy barrier switch nearby, Naruto turned to face his third favorite person in the village, only barely beaten out by Ichiraku-san and his daughter (the hands that fed him and brought him his food more often than not), with his trademark grin in place, ôKinda sorta Old Man. Sourpuss over there figured out that it would be smart to tell you before anybody else found out accidentally.ö

Slightly confused, and with a growing sense of trepidation, the æProfessorÆ of old turned towards the boy he thought to be Naruto, hearing the OnmyoujiÆs ominous words from their meeting after the accident at the mission echoing through his head. æI sense all is no longer as it seems. The fates have shifted greatly, and though I feel it fortuitous, no change this large can occur without a great deal of ill accompanying it regardless of the presence of a benefit. Watch yourself and your village, Saru, the guardians are nearing conflict over this, whatever it is will not be insignificant though it might be hard to forsee.Æ

ôIt seems, that the absolute failure over there and I have somehow ended up in each otherÆs bodies, Hokage-sama.ö Although the voice was NarutoÆs, everything else was different, subtly or blatantly. The posture, body-language, slightly angstful though respectful tone. Everything matched his prior, though few, dealings with Uchiha Sasuke.

ôEhehehehehh.ö Standing beside him, scratching the back of his head in a mixture of amusement and slight and affected embarrassment, eyes closed and grin wide all perfectly replicated mannerisms matching Uzumaki Naruto. Even the way that he was completely ready to move in any direction, though more a habit of having so much energy rather than an actual shinobi skill, just yet.

ôIÆm not sure I quite understand. Are you saying that the two of you somehow switched your memories or something?ö Although the Hokage was a smart man, and possibly the smartest in Konoha, denial proved to be more than just a river. With all of its worshipers, intentional and otherwise, it might actually classify as a minor deity actually.

ôNo. From what, I guess my, æguestÆ I suppose, said, our souls actually managed to switch bodies. It seemed to remember that itÆd heard about something like this once, but not what it had heard.ö Sasuke replied.

His words caused the Hokage to look at him sharply, eyes flicking briefly to see the Sharingan possessing body looking unaffected from the blondeÆs words standing there with his arms crossed and starting to fidget impatiently before focusing on the demon-housing body. ôYouÆre serious, arenÆt you. Somehow, the two of you switched bodies and now youÆre æUchiha NarutoÆ and æUzumaki SasukeÆ for lack of a better description.ö

ôEehhh, yeah! Something like that. I mean, I know IÆm me, and that three days ago I was him, but that was me and now heÆs me but IÆm him and heÆs me but IÆm still me and heÆs still him! ItÆs really weird but its kinda cool too!ö the now hyperactive black-haired boy spouted enthusiastically.

ôHnn.ö The avenging blondeà hnned.

ôI see. You two expect me to believe something like that? YouÆve done quite a good job getting young Sasuke to help you with this prank, Naruto, but it takes more than a lot of practice to fool me. IÆm glad, however, that youÆve found someone your age that treats you the same even though the Yondaime sealed the Kyuubi into you. But I have a lot of paperwork, so if you two go now, I wonÆt punish you for the interruption.ö The Third replied dismissively, stating outright what had only been hinted at in order to gauge their reactions.

While they acted completely in character, they did so for the face of the other boy in the room. And they both quite clearly knew of the demon. The blonde bristled very slightly at æyoung SasukeÆ, in an obvious reflex of annoyance but nothing anyone else in the village except perhaps Gai and Danzo would pick up since no one was left that knew Sasuke well enough to recognize it from his mannerisms. His dark-haired friend looked about ready to use his Harem Technique on the old Hokage for thinking it a prank. It was signified by a very slight glint on the outside of his right eye and a minor tightening on the outside of the left eye. Either theyÆd been affected by a genjutsu that was probably above S-rank, or they were telling the truth. Since the Leaf only had 4 S-ranked genjutsu, none of which could do this, and only one person with enough skill to cast such a jutsu, and she lacked the chakra to do so, it was reasonable to assume they were telling the truth.

ôGrr, it isnÆt a prank Old Man! You want proof?! Well then IÆll--ö Naruto began bringing his hands up only to be interrupted by said old man.

ôNo, Naruto. I know you well enough to be able to tell it is you, but I had to test your reactions to be certain. The fact that you were about to use Kage Bunshin, despite being in the HokageÆs office is nearly proof enough. Coupled with your other mannerisms, and SasukeÆs knowledge of the Ninetails, IÆm convinced. Flabbergasted and incredulous, but convinced. First, we need to be sure the seal is stable. Sasuke-kun, please take off your jacket and shirt and mold some chakra so I can check it.ö

Doing so quickly, SasukeÆs chakra brought the seal into the visible range and showed it to be intact, though slightly different. Almost more finished.

ôHm, different, but intact. IÆll have to contact a former student of mine to be certain, but for now at least thereÆs no cause for worry. IÆll start working on looking through the archives to see what we can do to put things to right then.ö

ôNo offence, Hokage-sama, but we talked about it, and we think it might be better if we didnÆt.ö Sasuke said pulling his shirt over his head.

ôYeah! The FoxÆs chakra can work against the Sharingan and everybody likes the ælast UchihaÆ a whole lot more than the æprankster demon bratÆ. SasukeÆll be left alone to train, with an edge against his brother, and I have a better chance to become Hokage! Everybody wins!ö Naruto chipped.

ôYou two canÆt be serious! Have you even considered the consequences?ö Sarutobi half-shouted, half-pleaded. ôRemaining in bodies not your own could have disastrous effects! Do you want to die!?ö He snapped.

Both genin were slightly taken aback at the force in ThirdÆs voice. NarutoÆs whispered æOld ManàÆ was almost lost in the large room, before SasukeÆs face took on a blank look for a few seconds before he came back to reality. ôThe Great Beast assures me weÆre quite stable like this. But we might not be if we tried going back. Because of the way we switched, cutting these ties to our new bodies might be quite dangerous. Furthermore, other methods might not work because of that the way we switched. Adding to that, re-creating a dangerous accident that was caused by someone doing something unadvisable that we were warned could very easily be fatalà well, IÆm not interested in finding out. Especially not now that IÆve finally taken a step towards defeating æhimÆ. IÆve struck a deal with the Fox, too. Kitsune may be able to lie, cheat and steal unlike any other, but their word is binding, and I was smart enough to word things so that itÆll have a hard time deceiving me.ö

While the ThirdÆs face had flown through a range of emotions, NarutoÆs face had gone totally white the moment Sasuke had said æfatalÆ. ôEehh! What do you mean we were warned?!ö What was meant as an outraged shout had come out closer to a panicked squeak.

Both of them looked at him, before Sasuke asked in a slightly disturbed tone, ôWhat do you mean by that? The onmyouji clearly said æusing chakra might cause you to forfeit allÆ!ö

Wearing a look of sudden comprehension, Naruto smacked his right fist into his left palm having obvious figured out something that had eluded him prior to SasukeÆs explanation. ôAhah! I was wonder why that stuffy guy had started talking about poker at random. Geez, he could have just said we might die.ö NarutoÆs tone of æsudden revelationÆ was something both ninja had heard before, though Sarutobi had much more an idea of how truly disturbing it could be than Sasuke did, neither could help but hang their heads suddenly at that. Dodging a kunai by a hairÆs width, as the saying went, was always a little more disturbing when you saw it after the fight.

Getting things back on track, the Hokage looked at them both sternly. ôBe that as it may, I want to talk to my friend Abeno, the onmyouji your client went to, and see if we canÆt do anything. At the very least, we need to consult any expert we can. I trust your ability to prevent being tricked, Sasuke-kun, but as the Hokage I canÆt trust the word of a single genin in such a matter with a beast that took the life of our greatest Hokage to stop.ö

Seeing that Sasuke looked like he was about to argue, Naruto quickly tapped his foot on the ground four times as a prearranged signal theyÆd decided on earlier at the bridge. Naruto agreed with Sasuke, but unlike Sasuke, he recognized the Old ManÆs ôHokage Voiceö as he called it. It was time for a different tactic.

Frowning even more, Sasuke looked at his accomplice incredulously. ôYou canÆt seriously think--ö

Giving Sasuke a look that clearly said æShut up and get readyÆ Naruto looked at the Hokage, æthe smileÆ back in place. Nodding sharply once, Naruto and Sasuke brought their hands up into the seal for Kage Bunshin before shouting out ôDai-Haaremu-no-jutsu!ö causing the room to be filled with smoke.

As the smoke began to clear, the Hokage could see straight away that he was in a lot of trouble. The room was filled to standing room only capacity with shapely forms with an assortment of pigtails and long braids which could be seen occasionally hanging in front instead of behind to below hip length. Sultry, seductive smiles that would fell even the most non-perverted Konoha citizens adorned the faces of the various pairs of girls, all striking provocative poses together.

Leaning on one another, holding one another, back to back, back to front, front to front. Bending over, standing up, hanging over one another, lying side by side on the floor, proving the smoke had hidden more than was first obvious. Sarutobi had begun to build a resistance to NarutoÆs æanti-pervert jutsuÆ due to exposure in the past, and thatÆs why he was already able to feel the pressure building up in his nose, instead of being half-way catatonic and physically frozen as one would normally be in the face of Naruto and SasukeÆs new æPervert-slayingÆ jutsuÆs first incarnation.

Unlike the original Sexy technique, however, the Hokage couldnÆt help but note that in the new æGrand HaremÆ the smoke had all dissipated, leaving only the poses being used from immediately revealing everything. That was a part of the grand strategy in this version. Should someone prove immune to the first and second parts of the attack, it wouldnÆt take much to overload the target. However, it would not prove necessary.

As one, the girls inhaled deeply, causing bodies to shift and flesh to undulate, before speaking in a chorus of breathy, sensual voices riddled with sin, ending with a lilting whine one the last syllable ôPlease~ Sarutobi-sama~ dooonÆt~àö

~~~

ôHey, Raido, you get the feeling we really missed something just now?ö

Eye twitching his comrade replied harshly, ôShut up and get back to work Aoba.ö

~~~

Having dispelled the technique, and with Sasuke now thoroughly convinced of the worth of such a technique, they woke up the Hokage and agreed with him about talking to his friend, but that they were quite thoroughly content with the current shape of things. Furthermore, the Kyuubi was quite the changes were very permanent, especially with the combined factors of time, activity, chakra usage and æspiritual acclimatizationÆ such an event had terribly low survival rates when the much sturdier and adaptable demonic spirits had something like this occur.

ôVery well then, IÆll allow things to stay like this for now. I will ask Abeno to research what he can in his free time, or perhaps assign it as a research project to an understudy, but if you two are willing to go so far, I see no reason to attempt to stop you, if youÆre in agreement. The question, however, is what we are to tell people.ö said the old man, slumping back in his chair.

ôI donÆt see why we have to tell them anything. Naruto and I can train each other to act more like the other, and help each other with regular training, and no-oneÆs the wiser.ö The most recent junchuuriki had realized he was comparatively more infamous now, but far more likely to be left alone. While there was a chance people would continue to ignore him because of the Kyuubi should things come out, he wasnÆt willing to leave anything to chance.

ôEh, I donÆt care. The body works, the eyes are cool, and ramen tastes fine.ö And that really was the crux of the matter to Naruto.

ô*sigh*ö

ôVery well, weÆll leave things at that for now. You might consider informing at least your sensei, however. This is something important after all, but IÆll consider this a personal matter and leave it to the two of you. Now, I have paperwork to keep doing.ö And, just like that, the Hokage went back to his paperwork, not even waiting for the gennin to reply.

Standing up and tapping Sasuke on the arm, Naruto signaled for them to go, before walking to the doors and unsealing them on his way out. ôCÆmon, Kakashi-sensei should be at the bridge by now, maybe, so we might as well head back.ö

ôThink weÆll be late?ö Sasuke asked as they passed the HokageÆs current assistants.

ôDoes it matter? We can just call it payback. And if he makes us run laps, weÆll steal his books to pay him back for all the times heÆs been late.ö Naruto replied.

ôI suppose we could even burn them huh? And itÆd be good training, sneaking into a jouninÆs living quarters.ö Sasuke mused.

ôExactly!ö

~~~

ôHey, Raido, is that blood on the inside of the doors to the HokageÆs office?ö the newer of the two temporary assistants to the Hokage asked, pointing as he stared wide-eyed at the doors to the HokageÆs office.

Eye twitching, and on his third rotation as one of the HokageÆs attendants, Raido could only grit his teeth as the idiot kept letting every little thing distract him. ôDamnit! Shut up and get back to work already Aoba!ö

~~~

Approaching the bridge where Team 7 usually met, they were treated to the sightà of a completely empty bridge.

ôEh, whatÆs today, Sasuke?ö

ôThe 13th, why?ö

ôàKakashi-sensei said we didnÆt meet on the 13th of any month, didnÆt he, Sasuke?ö

ôDamnit, youÆre right. Something about a cat three years ago, I think. Alright, IÆve got some shopping to do, then weÆll meet up by that ramen stand of yours before we head over to the complex to find me someplace to stay and so we can get at all the scrolls there for training.ö

ôOkay! See you at IchirakuÆs. DonÆt forget ædead-lastÆ.ö And with that, NarutoÆs new face formed Uchiha smirk #4 æI bet you regret saying that now, donÆt you foolÆ he turned on a heel sharply and headed off to take a walk through various parts of town while he waited.

Frowning fiercely, though the effect was considerably lessened with blue eyes, Sasuke stood there for a few minutes, before getting a really goofy smile and dashing for his favorite weapons shop to kill a few hours.

Try as they might to keep news of their switch a secret, forces beyond their control had colluded to end the charade as quickly as possible. It would be a long week for Naruto and Sasuke.

At least until Sasuke showed Naruto Uchiha Glare #1.

There was a reason the Uchiha clan was known to be split off from the Hyuuga afterall.

~~~

Right, so.

1) I chose a braid because Naruto's original Oiroke blended 'sexy' with 'sensible' with the pigtails (in my opinion) and a braid makes more sense than loose hair. However, I'm not sold on it, so feed back on that.

2) According to Leafninja, Raido and Aoba were the Thrid's assistants for the Chuunin exam, or at least one of them was. I used them kinda like Izumo and Kotetsu, since this takes place within the timeframe I figure the Leaf would have been preparing for and arranging things for the Chuunin exam, at least the paperwork for it anyway. Poor bastards.

3) This chapter was fairly easy to write because I had ideas. Always feel free to give me ideas, as the title will show when you see it, even if I don't pick A or B, you'll probably give me material for C. B)

4) The previous Team 8 Snippet takes place... right after this! I found while writing the scene in the Hokage's office that even though I thought I knew how much easier it would be to write once I was using the right names, I really didn't have a practical grasp of the fact, so lets get things out in the open, shall we?

 

[TenguPhule]

the citizens of Konoha all were treated to a terribly disturbing sight. Uchiha æSasukeÆ and Uzumaki æNarutoÆ bearing identical grins. Eyes slightly squinted, grins wide with teeth showing, hands behind the head with a demented swagger to the steps.

At one point, it got so disturbing, one particularly brave villager actually worked up the nerve to find out what the hell was going on.

ôAh, Sasuke-sama, is, is there any particular reason youÆre smiling and walking, likeà that with your teammate there?ö

Had someone asked the new Sasuke why æNarutoÆ was brooding like that theyÆd have gotten a rude response and been ignored after that.

So wait, are they both grinning or is Uchiha Naruto grinning while Uzumaki Sasuke is scowling?

 

[TenguPhule]

ignoring the startled secretary (who was new unknown to Sasuke though obviously so to Naruto)

Who was unknown to Sasuke though obviously not to Naruto

 

[TenguPhule]

I don't know why this popped into my head

"So you're actually Naruto. And he's really Sasuke."

Naruto 'Uchiha' nodded nervously. Something about the lack of anger and imminent violence in Sakura's voice was making him very, very nervous. She had never once hit him since his 'switch' and to be quite honest he'd come to enjoy her attentions even if it had been for a face that wasn't his own.

Okay, and seeing Sasuke discover 'Inner' Sakura's beserker punch had been hilarious too. It had done him a world of good and he'd finally started to take her seriously as a shinobi after witnessing her strength first hand (or fist first as it were).

But now she'd brought the two of them here into this deserted storage shed and dropped the bombshell on them. She finally knew and devil was going to have his due.

"Um, we can explain-"

"And here all this time I thought I was going crazy because I thought I was developing feelings for Naruto in spite of how I felt about Sasuke."

"-Huh?!" Both boys stared dumbly at her cheerful face.

Unfortunately this meant that they failed to keep track of where her hands were.

When dealing with a medical nin in training that is a very stupid thing to do.

*Jab* *Jab*

Naruto and Sasuke had just long enough to realize that there were empty syringes stuck in their respective arms before the contents that had been injected into them kicked in.

"Just relax boys, Anko-sama assured me there won't be any pemanent effects from the compounds."

As he stumbled to his knees, Sasuke 'Uzumaki' had only one terrified thought in his suddenly cloudy head. Anko-SAMA?!

There was a faint rustle of cloth as a kunoichi robe fell to the floor.

"Don't you see, now I have two Sasukes. One in body and the other in the body."

Naruto reflected that seeing Sakura naked and smiling in front of him had been one of his fondest wishes in recent years. But this hadn't been what he'd had in mind. He had always pictured it as just him and her. Not him, her and his body with Sasuke still in it.

"But Sakura, you, I, he, we can't!"

Her next words would go down in both boy's memories as the most frightening thing they would ever hear...until tomorrow.

"Don't worry. It's not gay as long as your balls don't touch."

:evil:

 

[Genericrandom]

The first 'chapter' of An Ominous Feeling of Pants can now be found here.

@TenguPhule: Um, yeah, that needs a comma. The secretary is new, and Sasuke didn't know that, but Naruto did. I'll fix that... eventually.
Also, that was a sick, twisted, wrong and disturbing omake. :yay: Feel free to post it in the new topic too, and if I ever post this anywhere else, I'd love to add that. :evil: Good job.


EDIT: So it did, but that's been fixed. If anybody wants to read Ninja Should Not Drink I'll leave the link here

 

[zeebee1]

That link is to "Ninja Should Not Drink", not "An Ominous Feeling of Pants".