Ranma ½ Anything Goes Laundry Service

balthanon

Well-Known Member
#76
Not much to it and I got distracted by Transfiguration Trouble before I could get more written on it, but I figure I'll post the next scene for Anything Goes Laundry Service as well. Hopefully I'll be able to get more of this written tomorrow. Work's been busy, so I haven't been writing much during the week. (Though far more than I used to before I started posting my stuff, so that's something.)

I'd like to get this next chapter out relatively soon though since I was hoping to post once a week until Chapter 5 originally and I'm way behind on that. :) We're at least getting closer to the end of the chapter now. Probably only two more Ranma scenes left, then bookend, and maybe a quick delve into finishing off the story of Kasumi and her bullies in the middle somewhere.

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Anything Goes Laundry Service
Chapter 4, Part 5
===================================================

Kasumi sighed as Ranma paused, her disappointment almost palpable. "--for a full month." She perked back up again, eyes widening as she realized that she would actually get it back. "And--" She was a little hesitant to take this step, but she thought the brunette had gotten the point. "I will give the whole..." Pausing again, the redhead tried to decide on a word and finally just kind of gestured towards the nightgown. "...thing, that you want some consideration, not just dismiss it out of hand."

Ranma gave Kasumi a crooked grin, wagging a finger at her. "That's not a hard and fast promise though. No deadlines!"

She had already done it once, after all, and it hadn't turned her into a girly girl. If she could pop into a dress to fool Ryoga just 'cause he was being an idiot, she could stand a little embarrassment for a friend. Kasumi did a lot for the Tendo household and if anyone deserved a reward, it was her. Though not as like... a regular thing. For special stuff maybe. Really special, like the equivalent of saving Akane from some nut job, whatever that would be in terms of household maintenance.

...

Standing in the dojo, Ranma took a deep breath and settled into a horse stance. Letting his hands rest on his knees, he concentrated upon his battle aura and slowly stoked it to a peak. It was hard when you weren't actually in a fight, or harder anyway.

Your battle aura was largely an involuntary reflex, which was part of the reason that even Akane pulled one up on a regular basis. In many ways, it was a lot simpler to maintain and utilize than accessing your chi directly. Half the work was done for you simply by being in a strong emotional state or having a bunch of adrenaline coursing through your body.

Of course, those strengths also made it a lot more difficult to practice or do things with it that were precise and measured. His old man had been moving with very exacting motions though and Ranma wanted to see whether he had really been completely suckered or if Genma had been about to pull out something he hadn't seen before. The martial artist had shown he was proficient at manipulating his battle aura in the past when he went toe to toe with Happosai after all.

Even if he had petered out like a damp candle in less than a minute.

Ranma had more than his fair share of experience with manipulating his own battle aura, most recently with the Hiryuu Shoten Ha training, but he had yet to pull off that giant trick that the old goat and his dad pulled out. Maybe this would actually give him a clue as to how they did it.

His battle aura finally in the visible spectrum, Ranma gradually pulled at it, trying to focus it around his hands like he had seen in the fight. All he was really doing was suppressing it everywhere but his hands though, the Soul of Ice almost reflex with this after his week in the mountains. Taking a deep breath, he let it out and released his control. Calm, but not complete--

"Trying to steal my techniques, boy?"

"Gaaah!" Ranma jumped up, seizing his chest and staring at his father with wide eyes. His old man just grinned at him, his glasses gleaming as he stepped forward out of the shadows. The young martial artist hated when he did that. He was such a putz most of the time when it came to sneaking around, but then every once in awhile he'd pull out all the stops and come out of nowhere.

Kasumi on the other hand just smiled and pulled her legs up under her as she bowed forward slightly from where she had been watching him against one of the dojo walls. "Hello, Uncle Saotome."

Ranma shot Kasumi a betrayed look. "You coulda warned me you know."

"You seemed very focused, I didn't want to interupt," she said serenely. Pushing herself to her feet, Kasumi added, "I'm going to go start dinner. I'll leave you to talk with your father."

Ranma nodded and waved her away, Genma nodding as she walked past him. As soon as she was out of the room, the pair leaped backwards to take their normal starting positions for sparring without needing to say a word.

Settling into one of the relaxed stances that were typical of the Saotome school, Ranma waited all of three seconds before surging forward towards his father. "Well, you were the one who wanted to talk, Pops. What did you want?"

"You know perfectly well, boy." A flurry of blows forced Ranma back across the polished wood floor of the dojo until he swept a leg out, forcing Genma to jump back. Neither combatant was really giving it their all, but they were providing their bodies something to do while their mouths worked. "You're falling into bad habits again. I've sacrificed too much towards preventing these destructive patterns of behavior to see you succumb to them now."

Ranma jabbed his father in the stomach. "Sacrificed? What did you sacrifice? A clean floor? You haven't missed nothin' you'd miss but a few meals you could afford. And a good bit less than myself."

"You wound me, Ranma. How often have I put my own stomach on the line to prevent you from suffering the worst effects of your own cooking?" Genma scowled at his son and swiped at the repeated attacks against his mid-section a bit more vigorously than they'd been bothering with so far. Taking the hint, the black haired boy jumped backwards and gave both of them some distance.

"Yeah, bout that, Pops." Ranma cracked his knuckles, his own expression getting a bit more grim. "Turns out Kasumi says I ain't half bad in the kitchen. And given how good her cooking is..."

"Ahh... no doubt a minor improvement now that you've had a good example to follow and the protection and guidance that I offered through your formative years." Genma sweated profusely. "A minor miracle given where you started!"

The sad thing was that Ranma couldn't even say for sure whether that was true or not. He could count on one hand the times he had ended up cooking only for himself and his father was always suspiciously attentive during the process when he was around. Something always seemed to go wrong. He thought it was a safe assumption his dad was up to something sneaky though. No one got that nervous when they had been up to anything good.

He finally decided to let it go. Kind of. "Yeah, you're a saint, Pops. Maybe we should see about having you apply your amazing talents to help Akane get over her little cookin' problems."

Genma blanched and Ranma grinned evilly. Their experiences with her cooking during the training trip to counter the Breaking Point had been born out a few times since. No need for insider knowledge on weird Shinto rituals to make that threat credible. His father finally stammered out, "No need for that boy-- ahh, perhaps we can overlook the cooking thing in the future. No need to get your wife up to par if you're a demon in the kitchen, ey? None of this constant cleaning though! You'll undo all the work we did on those ridiculous compulsions of yours."

"It ain't like that! I'm not doing this 'cause I want to or need to, so that stuff don't apply." Ranma flipped over his father, a quick kick sending the older man skidding across the room. He smirked briefly. That wasn't entirely accurate, but it was close enough to how it started. "'Sides, Kasumi says I don't have any oppressive compulsions anyway. And she'd know if anyone would, she's studied with tons of priests and monks and stuff." No point in mentioning the psych doctors, Genma didn't have much respect for them.

Genma charged, his blow bearing Ranma to the ground and initiating a grapple. "Aha! I knew it! The witch is forcing you into this and it's worse than I expected. Say the word, son, and I'll find a way to get you free of her clutches. Akane's the one for you!"

"Seriously, Pops? It's Kasumi! What the hell goes on in that head of yours?" Ranma tested his father's hold, then resorted to placing his feet on the man's chest and using main force to throw him up into the air. "Besides, if you're looking for a witch here, it's Nabiki. She's the reason I started this in the first place."

Genma frowned after he had landed, then moved back in for a few more blows. "What do you mean?"

"It's not like I started this out of the blue. I got a deal with Nabiki. I help Kasumi, she stops bugging me about money for rent and stuff or taking pictures to sell."

Genma paused, looking vaguely impressed. "And she actually bought into that? I didn't think you had it in you, boy. How long do you suppose you'll need to keep up the charade before she just assumes you're helping?"

Ranma didn't bother with a serious attack, he just smacked his father on the top of his head with a closed fist. "As long as we're here. No one really helps Kasumi out, Pops, and it ain't right. I ain't going to leave her high and dry now that I realized that. Not that she can't handle it, but it doesn't hurt nothing to help."

His father scowled, though he obviously wasn't phased by the actual attack. "That's where you're wrong, boy. And I'll prove it to you, just you wait." Genma stepped back towards the wall and pulled something from his gi, a second later it whipped towards Ranma and he inadvertantly turned his head to watch the ball fly past. When he turned back, Genma was gone.

"Crazy old man."
 

balthanon

Well-Known Member
#77
Flicking one last sheet over the laundry line, Ranma grinned to himself. He was really getting a better handle on the whole iron cloth deal, though he wasn't honestly sure what he would do with it. Wasn't like he really needed a weapon most times and even Ryoga didn't bother with it a lot since that whole thing with Akane's hair. Maybe armor or something?

He shrugged. It was worth knowing and that was about enough for today anyway. Walking inside, he poured himself and Kasumi a glass of lemonade, then walked back outside to get the basket for the eldest Tendo sister. Pausing, the plastic cup he was using flexed as his fist clenched and he looked over the work he had spent the past half hour or so on. Every single sheet that he had worked on rather than Kasumi was scrawled upon with what looked like mud. In a rather crude approximation of his own handwriting. What was "Red Sake" even supposed to mean?

...

Grabbing the dishes after lunch, Ranma quickly tossed them into a tall wavering pile reminscent of his work at the cat cafe. Leaving only the containers with minute amounts of leftovers. An artifact of the fact that Genma hadn't been at lunch for some reason. Probably because Ranma still wanted to have a little "talk" with him about the sheets this morning.

Quickly divying up the stack of dishes into neat organized piles that would be easier for Kasumi to wash later, Ranma turned back to grab the food and his lips thinned. In the approximately thirty seconds he had his back turned a set of the same dishes he had just brought in had turned up, covered with a thin veneer of the food that had been left over. Though not enough to cover the fact that there were no longer any leftovers remaining.

Stalking over to the new dishes, he looked down at a partially completed kanji for "No work" in sauce. There was the start of another kanji beside it, but it wasn't far enough along to identify. Still... Ranma cracked his knuckles. He really needed to have that talk with his dad.

...

Ranma's left eye twitched as he stared at the little figurine lying on its side on the a shelf. He carefully righted it, stared at it for perhaps a full minute to ensure it wasn't wobbly, then turned away. He immediately spun around again, only to find the figurine on its side again. Similar to the way the pillows returned to the floor and the chairs pulled themselves away from the desk and the... He paused, took a deep breath and closed his eyes to stop the persistent twitching. He was determined to actually accomplish something he didn't need to turn over to Kasumi today. It just... apparently was not going to be this.

...

Staring at the Dojo, Ranma nodded to himself. Even at the peak of Genma's obsession about his oppressive compulsions he had been allowed to clean the dojos of the various schools they stayed at to learn. It was just one of those things that was expected of any student of the art. It had been a little while since the Tendo dojo had received a thorough cleaning, so no reason he couldn't do that today.

He had Kasumi watching from the other side of the dojo, a bucket of hot soapy water, a wash cloth, and what should be a generally inoffensive activity. Taking no chances, he reached in and wrung out the wash cloth, then tested it on the floor. Spotless. Assuming the standard position he dashed across the floor with his hands firmly spread out to catch the dirt.

Having moved fairly quickly across the length of the room, he was just standing when he heard Kasumi gasp and as he turned around he saw that the entire line that he had just cleaned was smeared with dust and dirt. Worse than when he had started in fact. Hearing a tearing noise, he looked down at his hands and noted that the rag he had been using was now in four pieces.

Perhaps it was time to break. Time for a break rather. His eye twitched.

...

Ranma stalked through the Tendo dojo like a tig-- like a wolf on the prowl. The past day had been... let's just call it challenging. His mind flicked through the events that had set him to hunting his father in rapid succession.

While his Pops hadn't actually touched anything but his son's work, this needed to be settled now.  If he saw one more teacup replace itself on a table or pile of dirt mysteriously reappear after he'd thrown it in the garbage he was going to pull from his dad's own playbook and lock the old fraud in a cave with a stack of dynamite.  He might even show enough filial piety to use a small bundle, rather than the amount the two Masters of Anything Goes should have used on Happosai.

He could be the bigger man.  He could, maybe, admit that this was getting to him and the oppressive compulsions Genma harped on about when he was a kid might still be a problem.  He could.  But he wouldn't.  No, he would take pleasure in showing his Pops exactly what he thought about his little demonstrations the old fashioned way.

After all, it wasn't like anyone else who was seeing their own hard work destroyed wouldn't feel exactly the same way.  Even if it had taken only a single day for his old man to break him, which probably wasn't normal with something like this.  It hadn't exactly been subtle, but he couldn't deny the effects.  To himself.  His dad was going to get nothing out of this.  There was no way he was rewarding him for this kind of behavior.  Two could play that game.

It took him another hour, including no less than five checks with Kasumi on whether the old man was really still in the house and where, before he finally cornered him.  In the broom closet no less, though with the nonchalant way he simply coughed and stepped out brushing off his gi you would have thought he had been lounging in front of the television.

Ranma pondered whether to bother with accusations or not.  If his old man was playing innocent, there was no way he would get him to admit his guilt, so why even bother.  For the moment, he just crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the panda in front of him.  He would get his anger under control and ignore any provocation.  Soul of Ice.  And then he would beat his father black and blue.

"Well, boy?  What do you say now?" Genma asked, adjusting his glasses conspicuously and apparently taking up their conversation exactly where they had left it earlier.

Screw it, the Soul of Ice was for battles and this was an argument.  "Stop being an ass?" he asked sarcastically.

"You wound me, Ranma!  Do you not see now why you should avoid all this cleaning and woman's frippery?  The curse that hounds your very steps--"  

"You mean you?"  Ranma glared at Genma.

His father switched abruptly from indignant righteous patriarch to complete innocent.  If he wasn't trying to win an argument, Ranma was pretty sure he would be a panda right about now.  "I don't know what you're talking about."

"It's so obviously you.  You've even been signing them, you idiot!"

"That wasn't me, I saw those sheets, it was your handwriting, boy."  Ranma sighed, exasperated again rather than simply angry.  Genma couldn't possibly expect Ranma to believe that had been a magical curse, right?

"I've seen you fake my handwriting before, old man."

"Perhaps you think you have, but what if it was just your own mind playing--"  No, he did.  Of course, he did.  What else should he have expected.  The elaborate constructions he had created in his head where his father showed exactly why helping Kasumi would lead into more dangerous activity that could influence his behavior in the future and prevent him from accomplishing his goal of being the best evaporated.

Ranma pointed at him, interupting some made up story about his childhood and weird memory lapses or something.  "You were hiding from me for over an hour!  I found you in the broom closet!"

"Not you boy, I wasn't hiding from you.  It was the effects of the curse I was avoiding!  I couldn't stand to see it take hold in you once more-- not knowing who or what you are at any moment, the degenerate behavior, the destruction you would wreak upon your environment!"  Genma wept, tears streaming from his eyes as he stared into the distance with a stoic expression upon his face.  It might have almost been moving if Ranma hadn't seen it for something as simple as his managing to steal the last pickle.

"That would be the other curse you inflicted on me, old man.  A certain c-c-feline fist?  Ring a--"  He stopped, eyeing his father and going back to his original plan.  This wasn't getting him anywhere.  "Ok, you know what, it isn't worth it, I've had enough of this.  I challenge you."

The tears dried up instantly and Genma rubbed his chin thoughtfully.  "Do you now?  And what are the stakes?"

"You stop or I do, simple as that."  Ranma wasn't going to give his father any loopholes to wriggle out of in this.  He had learned that a long time ago.  Keep it short and simple.

"And the rules?"

Ranma scoffed.  "The usual.  We meet tomorrow afternoon by the canal so we have some room to really let loose.  No walls or dojo to constrain us.  Just me, you, and a couple witnesses."

"Assuming I can put a stop to this devilish curse if you somehow win, you agree that you will abandon all these attempts at cleaning and such in the future if you don't.  No going back on your word now?"  Genma appeared calculating, no doubt trying to decide whether it was worth it or not.  Maybe whether it was worth revealing what in the hell he had been using for his tricks today.

Glowering at his father, the younger martial artist bit out, "I'm not you.  My word is good.  You better keep yours too."

"Very well.  Your challenge is accepted."

...

Ranma sighed as he looked around.  Him, the old man, and a couple witnesses.  Right.  So, of course, half of Nerima got word and showed up in response.  His fiancees in the vanguard selling food.  Well, most of his fiancees.  If Akane had been in the mix Nabiki would have been making a killing on stomach pumps.

He was pretty damn good, one of the best in fact.  He had secret techniques, was strong and fast, and had been trained by some of the best of the best.  He and his father fought on a regular basis and he won as often as he lost.  Maybe more lately.  But he was sure the old man had been holding something back.  After all, one of the "best of the best" who had trained him _was_ his pops.  Genma had been by his side when he learned almost every single one of his techniques and there was no one who knew his style better.

Just based on his actions yesterday, Ranma knew his dad was serious about this.  He didn't put that kind of effort into just anything and keeping himself hidden from Ranma and Kasumi throughout all of it, not to mention moving as fast as he must have...  he couldn't say when he had seen Genma work harder.  There was something about this that made Genma determined to shut down this little deal with Nabiki, even if he wouldn't come out and say it.

Still, he had a plan, possibly a good one.  It might not play out like he expected, but if it failed, it just meant they were back to an even fight.  If it did...  Ranma grinned.  It would be beautiful.  The perfect revenge for the other day.

He had calmed down a bit since yesterday, particularly since he had composed his plan, but in order for it to be really effective he had to look like he had a good head of steam still.  Enough that he would be willing to do almost anything to win the fight.  He figured with the training he had for the Soul of Ice, he should be able to fake it well enough.

As Soun stepped forward, calling out the rules of the match, though not the forfeits, Ranma readied himself and watched his father do the same.  When the "Begin!" rang out, both he and Genma rushed each other, meeting in mid-air in a flurry of feet, fists, and blows with any part of the body they could manage.  

Regardless of how good his peers became, he suspected they would never really reach this level in the air.  It was one of the things he liked best about fighting his dad.  The Saotome school was heavily rooted in mid-air combat and only he could provide a challenge that wasn't completely one sided when both combatants met there-- one way or the other.  The old ghoul and the pervert could manage too obviously, but the balance of power went the other way there.

After Genma and he had spent a few minutes testing each other, Ranma decided it was time to see how well his strategy would work.  Ducking low, he plastered a fierce scowl on his lips and flew forward at just above waist level on his father.  Reaching back, he called out, "Happo Happy Touch!" and swung his fist forward.

The results were all he could have hoped for and more.  His father went absolutely white, his guard dropped almost completely, and he covered his privates with both hands as he started to curl into a fetal position.  Ranma's punch took his father in the face rather than the low blow his body was instinctively reading itself for and the rest of the fight was all but over.  

Admittedly, Genma was a tough bastard and it still took several minutes before he fell unconscious, but he never recovered from that initial scare.  The time he had spent today visibly buttering up the old pervert had definitely been worth it to sell the move to his Dad, but it had been the end of Kasumi's story that had really given him the idea.
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Not entirely sure about the challenge-- not so much the idea, which I do like for the symmetry (a win by Makken Dokuku Ha from Ranma to balance the earlier one by Genma), but the execution.  Feels like it needs some work, but I'm going to try and get the rest of the fic done before I go back to it at this point.  The same applies to the little montage of cleaning sabotage, in particular the "The Shining" references which were largely thrown in because I didn't want to spend the time to go look up an appropriate movie or anime in Japan. :)
Next segment will be a quick flashback to Ranma's discussion with Kasumi (which I intend to keep pretty short), then we'll move into the bookend with Genma just waking up to the following:
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As Genma slipped back into a conscious state, he opened one bleary eye and saw Happosai pop up out of the crowd crowing in victory.  "I knew it, I knew it!  Bwahahaha."
"You!  You're the one that's been watching me and Kasumi!"  Ranma pointed accusingly at the Grandmaster of Anything Goes and the old man leered at the younger practitioner.  Kasumi blushed as the entire crowd's attention swiveled to her and just about everyone outside of Ranma, Happosai, and the demure brunette blanched and rushed to conclusions.
Ranma smacked his face with one hand as the attention turned to him again and battle auras sprung up around fiancees, suitors, and half the other martial artists and non-martial artists in the crowd.  "God damn it.  Not again." 
Unable to move, Genma watched his son dive under the first barrage of weapons thrown his way and then jump onto the fence and over as the the side of the canal emptied of everyone save himself, Happosai, and Kasumi.
 

LORD_ARM

Well-Known Member
#78
Since Ranma and Kasumi are both of Happosai favorite student, I can see him trying playing match maker with both of them. In his own perverted way.
 

Lawra

Well-Known Member
#79
LORD_ARM said:
Since Ranma and Kasumi are both of Happosai favorite student, I can see him trying playing match maker with both of them.  In his own perverted way.
Well he would have to ensure that Ranma is worth Kasumi. He is a sexist asshole who would assume Kasumi needed protecting.
 

balthanon

Well-Known Member
#80
Not far off the mark in both cases. Though since I'm bringing in some anime continuity, he has taught a few women to defend themselves in the "Tendo" sisters. And Hinako kind of counts. Sort of. He has outright stated that he wouldn't take a woman as the heir to Anything Goes Martial arts though. I suspect I could probably spin that based on the fact that all of his current male students are insolent whelps who don't listen to their betters though. ;)

To be honest though, it is true that Happosai never (intentionally) taught Kasumi anything to defend herself with-- that said there aren't many candidates who are better suited to keeping her safe out of his limited circle of students and peers. Ranma's really about it if he wants someone anywhere near her age, or for that matter male and not already married, her father, or himself...
 

balthanon

Well-Known Member
#81
And this should finish up Chapter 4:

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Anything Goes Laundry Service
Chapter 4, Part 7
===================================


Early that morning, Ranma had been lounging on the floor while Kasumi cleaned, his father off preparing for the battle while he thought through it himself.  Training wasn't going to do anything here-- he couldn't pull off anything significant in a single day.  He needed a distraction, something to let his subconscious work on the problem.

Genma and he had an armistice at the moment, so he couldn't help out Kasumi directly, but he had gotten used to spending an hour or two each day with her.

Sitting up, he turned towards the homemaker, who was humming to herself.  "So, Kasumi, you never did give me the end of that story, how'd your training work out?"

"My training?" Kasumi stopped her song and looked confused, then brightened in recollection.  "Oh, yes.  The Happo Happy Touch."

Ranma asked, "And something from your Pops, right?  What'd he give you?"

"To be honest, I don't recall exactly what Father taught me, though I think it was a punch of some kind.  He didn't take me quite as seriously as Grandfather."  She smiled in recollection.  "It was still useful, but I don't think it quite stood out like I had been hoping.  I did manage to get both down before I was cornered again perhaps a month or so later though."

___===--- ( \/ ) ---===___

Facing off against the boys who had cornered her when she tried to run for the school building, Kasumi took a deep breath and let it out just like Daddy taught her.  The boys snickered as she settled into her stance and she focused upon the feel of the cheek power in herself and then in the underwear that the bullies around her were wearing.

As she heard two of them start moving towards her, Kasumi opened her eyes and fought to keep that instinctive feel for her opponent's silky friends.  Though it was apparently a rougher cotton than her own or-- eyes widening, the little girl just barely ducked under a punch that she had been too distracted to see coming.  Her hand lashed out in the straight punch that Daddy had taught her, guided by the Happo Happi Touch and the boy crumpled, his eyes crossing and his hands dropping between his legs.

The next boy was still gaping when the same thing happened to him and then Kasumi was running towards the other bullies.  Outside of a few "No Fairs!" and "That's cheating!" the remainder of the bullies save one went down in a single punch each or ran away.  The last one jumped backwards and assumed a martial arts stance of his own instead.

"You're not gonna get me with that!  I know martial arts too _and_ I've got a bratty little sister like you who likes to hit me there!  I've been defending against that kind of crap for years!"  Moving more cautiously towards her, the boy took a swing at Kasumi that she was a little too slow to block and she was forced backwards.  Eyes tearing up, she felt at her tender cheek, then firmed her resolve.

She would show them.  Jumping at the boy, she attacked with kicks and punches, but each one was blocked cleanly by the black-haired child before he attacked again and pushed her back.  He was sneering now and she felt tears of frustration join the ones the punch had elicited earlier.

"I told you.  I'm super good at that-- you might get through a punch somewhere else if you're lucky, but I'm going to teach you a lesson before you do."

Kasumi took another deep breath, realizing she had lost track of her cheek power when he hit her and closed her eyes again, feeling for it.  This boy was a bad person, so his lovelies certainly couldn't be very well treated.  

"Giving up?  Too bad, you shoulda done that before you started hitting my friends!"  Not bothering to open her eyes this time, the little girl just waited for the moment when her opponents cheek power got close enough and then lashed out in that same straight-forward punch she had used on the first boy.

She heard a squeak and opened her eyes.  Her opponent fell over and she heard him whimper, "Mommy."

"Yay!  I win!"  Kasumi jumped up and down happily.  Right up until a teacher finally investigated the ruckus and she remembered that regardless of what her Mommy said about protecting herself, she had still been on a warning for the last fight.

___===--- ( \/ ) ---===___

Ranma stared at Kasumi, his legs crossed slightly in an almost subconscious protective gesture.  "You know, I take back what I said earlier.  You are a _really_ scary chick."

Kasumi blushed.  "I am a bit more aware of what it was actually intended for now then I was when I was 6.  Plus, I have seen Grandfather use it quite frequently since he returned.

At the time though, I was quite proud of myself.  While I kept the name secret, I was able to use it on father to win several times in a row and I had never managed that before."

Ranma blinked.  Was Kasumi still not actually aware that punching a guy in the nuts was just something you absolutely did not do in anything short of a real fight?  It was one thing on the bullies, but doing that to old man Tendo, that was just mean and she just sounded faintly embarrassed about the perverted stuff it was used for by Happosai.

Pausing, the martial artist said, "So the old goat taught you a secret technique to punch people... there."  For some reason, he couldn't quite bring himself to actually name it in front of Kasumi.  He wondered off hand if that was the reason she had managed to land it several times on her father.  You would think he would have warned her off after the first time at least.

"Wait, I thought it just let you kind of... touch things through clothes?"

Kasumi nodded at that, then explained further.  "It lets you avoid, well... obstructions I suppose is the best way of putting it.  I mentioned that it was kind of like a magnet?  Well, it sort of guides you around any defenses, even if they are active.  It's really quite wonderful, though Mother, of course, explained that it wasn't appropriate to use in public."

"Man, I bet my Pops hated that one.  The old goat's fire crackers are one thing, but that's just..."  Trailing off, Ranma let an evil grin cross his features and popped up from the floor in one smooth motion.  Kasumi jumped a bit at the sudden motion and Ranma waved to her.  "I got to go get ready for the match, Kasumi.  If you could, make sure you make Happosai's favorite for lunch."  

He definitely had to sell this to his pops, and lunch was the only time he could be guaranteed to see him today before the match.

___===--- ( \/ ) ---===___

As Genma slipped back into a conscious state, he opened one bleary eye and saw Happosai pop up out of the crowd crowing in victory.  "I knew it, I knew it!  Bwahahaha."  The old man was practically dancing in excitement, his gaze rapidly switching between Ranma and Kasumi as he made some kind of calculation.

"You!  You're the one that's been watching me and Kasumi!"  Ranma pointed accusingly at the Grandmaster of Anything Goes and the old man leered at the younger practitioner.  Kasumi blushed as the entire crowd's attention swiveled to her and just about everyone outside of Ranma, Happosai, and the demure brunette blanched white in disbelief.

Ranma smacked his hand over his eyes as the attention turned to him again and battle auras sprung up around fiancees, suitors, and half the other martial artists and non-martial artists in the crowd.  "Damn it.  Not again."

Unable to move, Genma watched his son dive under the first barrage of weapons thrown his way and then jump onto the fence and over as the the side of the canal emptied of everyone save himself, Happosai, and Kasumi.

Kasumi smiled hesitantly, seeming at a loss and Genma wondered exactly what the old man had actually seen that sent him into such a tizzy.  The man was a voyeur, but he wasn't sure why he would have popped up and outed his son and Soun's daughter just after the fight like that.

"The boys wouldn't have mentioned that you know," Happosai said after a minute.  He grinned at Kasumi widely and started walking around her, seeming to measure her up.

Still looking confused, Kasumi asked, "Pardon?  Wouldn't have mentioned what?"

"The Happo Happy Touch, of course."  Happosai spun his pipe absently and added, "Hell, I'd forgotten about that little break through of yours in that little nap they forced on me in the first place."  Genma grew more than a bit confused himself.  He certainly hadn't mentioned it to the boy.  If Happosai had forgotten it, then he couldn't have taught Ranma in time for the fight.  Well, pretended to teach Ranma, so if that was--

He felt a shiver run up his spine as he re-parsed the second half of the Master's statement.  Happosai couldn't have just said what he thought he'd heard.

"What break through is that, Grandfather?"  Damn it, he had heard that right.  It couldn't be though.  The final straw that broke the camel's back.  The Demon's most dreaded technique.  An attack so horrible that even he wouldn't use it unless he was so angry and drunk he could barely see straight.  (A more common occurrence than one might expect, unfortunately.)

Happosai cackled and said, "Using the Happo Happy Touch as an attack, of course.  Never thought of it in better than two centuries and you adapted it in a month."  He finished his circuits around Kasumi and stood in front of her.  His grin was still positively maddening.

"So... it wasn't?  But you were teaching me a special technique to deal with bullies, weren't you?"  Kasumi still seemed at a bit of a loss, younger than he had seen her appear before this, though she was rapidly regaining the calm, steady presence Genma had grown to know over the past six months.  In light of that time this conversation actually took on an almost surreal tone, but it was accompanied by mounting horror.

Shaking his head, Happosai said, "Not at all.  You never mentioned them.  Didn't find out till I saw you training with your Dad afterwards, demonstrating your achievement and telling the story.  That was just the next step in your training."  Genma's eyes widened and he desperately clamped down on the moan that tried to escape.  It wasn't just a one off thing.  

"And speaking of training, what say you start up again?  Had no idea you'd kept up with it.  You've got a fine touch, certainly.  I thought one of my old rivals was in the neighborhood.  You're not quite the rambunctious little brat who took so well to my teachings."  

At this, Kasumi gave Happosai a pleasant smile that it took Genma a moment to identify as fond.  Fond!  Of Happosai!  "I would love to study under you again, Grandfather Happosai."

"Bwahhahaha!  Finally, an acknowledged and official heir to--"

Kasumi interupted in a daring act that Genma knew he and Soun would be hard pressed to match.  He hadn't thought her as foolish as Ranma under that steady exterior.  "Oh, but we can't actually tell anyone you see.  I promised."

"What?  How are you going to train the next generation if no one knows to seek you out?"  Happosai appeared more than a bit put out and Genma felt a moment of hope.  If this fell through and nothing came of it he could attempt to drink himself to the point where the entire day was erased from his memory.  He would never have to tell Tendo that he had raised the next Happosai as his own daughter.

"My, that is a problem, but I'm afraid I did promise," Kasumi said regretfully.  "Mother was very firm."

From his position a bit closer to the Master, Genma heard him mutter, "Interfering biddy.  Nice rack on her though."  The stocky martial artist thought it was probably just as well it was low enough that Kasumi didn't hear it.  Kimiko had been a frightening woman at times.  Almost as scary as his own wife.  When Happosai next spoke it was louder though, the same boisterous tones that most of this discussion had taken.

"I'll tell you what, Kasumi dear.  How about we have a bit of a challenge to decide it then?  A test like the old days.  Your panty collecting skills versus mine.  Mano a man--err womano?" Happosai cajoled, his expression calculating and as sly as anything Genma had ever seen on him.

Kasumi wavered, her expression fretful, but she finally said, "That would be fun, but... I just--"

"And I'll throw in this."  Happosai pulled out a box.  A fancy box, admittedly.  Possibly a puzzle box of some kind based on the judgings and something that would have made Genma's hands itch if it wasn't in the Master's possession.  That didn't explain Kasumi's reaction though.

"Yes!"  Kasumi reached for the box with wide, surprised eyes, then apparently realized what she had said.  "Wait!  I didn't mean..."

Happosai let loose another cackling laugh, tossing the box to Kasumi, who caught it and hugged it to her chest, her eyes still wide.  "Too late, dear.  It's a challenge-- one week from today, we begin.  If you lose, you assume your role as a true heir to the Anything Goes School.  If you win, I keep quiet about the whole thing."

Genma felt faint as the visions he had of Kasumi domesticating Ranma were replaced with the boy in female form, bound with lingerie and calling her mistress.  As everything went black, he heard only two words to cap off the day.

"Oh my."
 

Stormfury

Well-Known Member
#82
I think that in this story Happosai would be one of Ranma's biggest supporters, because the odds of Ranma walking Happosai's path increases (in Happi's mind) everytime he talks to Kasumi about her own habits. The more he hears from her, the more likely one day he'll just give in and try it. She's more likely to convince him than Happosai himself, because of Ranma's sheer stubbornness, and Happosai probably knows that.

There's no way he wouldn't ship the two.
 

balthanon

Well-Known Member
#83
Pretty much my assessment too and it's a pretty big component of the next chapter. :) Happosai is the bookend POV this time, so you'll get a preview of his thoughts in that area when I start it. I'm kind of thinking of starting it off with him scheming and giving at least a glimpse of his plans (if not everything) before we jump into the chapter and Kasumi and Ranma try to figure out how the heck she is going to beat Happosai at panty collecting. (Without being branded as perverts, ideally.)
 

Stormfury

Well-Known Member
#85
Also, when I last posted the Happosai bit hadn't been posted yet, which I guess made my own post make even more sense.

Just read it now, I really like it. What's Kasumi going to do? How can she win so she can keep her promise? How much guilt will Ranma feel before he inevitably gets dragged into helping her? And how much will he get his ass kicked when he gets caught at the worst possible time, taking the fall for her?
 

balthanon

Well-Known Member
#86
Thanks.

At the moment, my plans for Kasumi's counterstrike revolve around the title of the fic. The problem is that she and Ranma may end up needing a little help with the marketing... (seeing as how neither of them even know that term.) :)

Hmm... though your latter two questions actually just gave me an idea I may use now, I'll have to give that some thought. (Though of course the answers are a) copious amounts and b) largely unquantifiable because it will likely be epic, horrifying, and gratuitous.)
 

Stormfury

Well-Known Member
#87
Genma's reaction to the Ranma/Kasumi ship is also hilarious, btw (the image of sub Ranma/dom Kasumi with Ranma in lingerie).

Genma is fighting the ship, because it is unmanly! Then Nodoka finds out... and approves of the idea of a husband helping out the wife around the house, and now Genma is double screwed.
 

balthanon

Well-Known Member
#89
For anyone who doesn't read snippets, I have Chapter 4 posted on Fanfiction.net now:  https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11736891/4/Anything-Goes-Laundry-Service.
There are a few changes based on the last proof reading I gave it just before publishing, but nothing too significant that I haven't already posted here.  Mainly just cleaning up wording here and there or rearranging a few sections a little.
 

PCHeintz72

The Sentient Fanfic Search Engine mk II
#90
Heh... almost missed it, there were at least two scene differences between the copy here and the FF.NET version, so for now I'll keep both versions of chapter 4.
 

balthanon

Well-Known Member
#91
Took me awhile to get through this for some reason and I'm not completely satisfied with it, but I'm leaving it as is for now to get moving on other parts of the chapter. I can always come back to it later if needed.

==========================================
Anything Goes Laundry Service
Chapter 5, Part 1
==========================================

Humming happily to himself, Happosai jotted down another note on the sheet that he was slowly filling. After that disaster with the Happo Fire Burst, he was taking the writing a bit more slowly. It was high time that the School actually had a proper heir, everything on the up and up as it were.

The problem with that was that it had been long enough since he had actually tried to do something fully legitimate-like that he couldn't quite recall how it went. So he was brainstorming. It couldn't be that hard after all, there were plenty of people who got by every day without lying, cheating, or stealing.

Admittedly, the only one he knew of was Kasumi, but it still happened. Twirling the pen he was using absently, the wind from the motion causing the panties hanging on lines in the room to flap lightly, he paused, then jotted down another few words.

Pausing to examine the list, he considered the first bullet point:

"Handicap. Skill different. Time?"

That seemed safe enough. Give the girl a bit more time than himself for collecting. He'd still win, of course, but that should make it seem, no, it would make it more fair. He nodded to himself and moved on to the next item:

"No count current collection?"

This was a bit harder to bear, but it would probably not be fair to count the hundred years or so of panties he had gathered since the great fire of 1898. The memory made him pause and he sniffled for a moment, then bowed his head and said a little prayer. Clapping his hands once, he put that tragedy out of his mind and returned to the task at hand.

Besides, if he knew those lousy ingrates he called apprentices and the rest of the family, they'd be trying to sabotage his little contest here. No need to give them more innocents to target.

The third and fourth bullet points were mainly about limiting the battle:

"Nerima only?" and "Collecting only during contest"

This seemed fair, if Happosai was going to give little Kasumi a head start, it wouldn't really do for him to be collecting during that time and getting in her way. Even if they didn't count towards his own totals.

At least, it wouldn't do for him to be collecting in the same area. If he set Nerima as the boundary for their little game, why, then for the week or whatever he ended up giving the girl before hand he would simply have to operate a little outside his normal hunting grounds.

That left only the last point:

"No help."

He stared at this for a moment longer than the others. He was pretty sure that line would probably disqualify Kasumi outright, even if she herself didn't countenance it. There was no way her family was going to leave things as it were and besides, he wanted to make this sporting and really test little Kasumi and her skills. No need to let the kids automatically break the rules.

Scrawling two more words next to the original sentence, he re-examined the line:

"No help.-- liberating lingerie."

That should work. Someone else touches a silky darling first, then it didn't count. Simple, easy to monitor, and it should mean that little Kasumi was at least involved in gathering up her silky darlings even if Ranma or someone else helped her really get into the spirit of things. It was also a great test of her senses, and, of course, his own were without question. Both of them should be able to identify if someone else had interfered.

He thought she'd appreciate the testing alone anyway and it might do the job by itself. There was nothing quite like going through a collection with each other to really bond a master and apprentice. It would be a beautiful moment, like seeing one's own grand daughter grow up. He wiped a tear away from his eye and sighed happily.

He wasn't quite sure if it would be sufficient to keep Genma out of things though. That boy had picked up some tricks while he was out that could throw things a bit. He'd simply have to have a word with his wayward apprentice to ensure he behaved. Or maybe keep him busy keeping Soun distracted.

Cackling to himself, Happosai drew a box around the five bullets, scribbled "Fair Contest" next to it, then went back to plotting out the rest of what he would need for his plans. He thought he might go call on little Yasuda Michi. The cutie still owed him a few favors for rescuing her from that beast she had been married to and she worked in that Dai Ichi place her father ran. Surely she could write up something suitably impressive looking and indecipherable that would hold up better than a contract scrawled on a paper napkin.

After all, the contest needed to be fair. What came after was for the good of the school and little Kasumi herself.
 

Stormfury

Well-Known Member
#92
Perfect.

I love this Happosai. He's in character completely, yet not also a complete idiot.
 

balthanon

Well-Known Member
#93
Thanks.

I was actually thinking about Happosai's horrible handwriting while writing this and I have to wonder if part of the reason for how bad it is supposed to be is that he didn't actually bother learning how to read and write until he was much, much older than we learn. If we take Happosai's age from the anime literally and assume he probably was not upper class (because, well... he's Happosai), he was born in the 1600s and probably did not go to school. Japan apparently had a much higher rate of literacy than most of the world at that time, but that's still maybe 40% by the end of the 1800s. I could easily see him not actually bothering with learning how to read until he's nearly one hundred or more.

Of course, the other route is that you take into account how badly my handwriting has decayed in the 30 years since I learned and multiply that by 10... I blame at least part of that on learning how to type though. :)
 

balthanon

Well-Known Member
#94
Shuddering, Ranma turned back to Kasumi with a worried expression as Happosai continued cackling and giggling to himself in his bedroom. Putting a finger up to his lips, he and the mistress of the Tendo household moved quietly down the hall and into the living room. Once they got there, Kasumi stayed quiet, sinking onto a pillow gracefully. Her hands, however, told a different story, as they twisted the small bundle of clothing that she had just ironed fretfully.

"You doing okay, Kasumi?" Ranma settled down on the other side of the living room table, leaning forward intently. Though if Akane walked in after that scene at the canal yesterday she was likely to brain him. Followed up by Ukyou, Shampoo, and Kodachi.

Nodding, the brunette said, "I am. It is a little sudden. I mean, it has only been a week or two since you found out about... you know." She glanced around the open space, apparently a bit more wary of being overheard after finding out Happosai knew.

Ranma just nodded and watched Kasumi as she talked. He thought the little batch of dresses in her hands were probably going to need some attention again after she was done. Every once in awhile though, her movements would still and she pulled out a box from under the clothing.

She had been carrying that ever since the fight yesterday. He didn't think he had seen her without it even once and he suddenly thought he recognized it, though he had never seen it.

Interupting her, Ranma nodded towards the object and said, "Is that it?" He paused and clarified. "The one you were missing I mean."

Smiling shyly, Kasumi pulled out the box and displayed it to him. "Yes, isn't it wonderful?" She hugged it to her chest and Ranma had to fight to keep a grin off his face. She looked like a kid in a candy store-- right after their parents purchased it. "Would you like to see it?"

"I kinda doubt I'll appreciate it as much as you do, but sure."

Placing it eagerly on the table between the two of them, Kasumi leaned over the box. Sliding the top this way and that, she finally grinned up at him with an expression that he suspected she hadn't used much since she was a little girl. When she lifted the lid of the box though, the expression turned into a thoughtful frown because the rest of the box came along with it.

Ranma tried not to laugh, but her expression was priceless. "I'm guessing you haven't actually opened it since you got it back from Happosai? I'm kind of surprised."

"I couldn't quite bring myself to open it." Giving a small moue of annoyance, she said, "Hold on a moment, I must have..." Her voice trailed off as she returned to the puzzle, but her next two tries also failed and she finally gave up.

Looking like a kicked puppy, she said, "I don't remember how to open it."

"You'll get it eventually, Kasumi." Ranma shrugged. He really was surprised that she had waited this long given how she had talked about it when he first walked in on her. "You managed to do it when you were 4. I kinda doubt it's going to take you all that long."

"But I had clues then, Grandfather's help."

Ranma reached over and grabbed the box, picking it up and examining it himself. It didn't look like nothing special really or at least he didn't quite see the appeal. "Well, yeah, but it aint's like you can't ask him again if you need to."

He eyed the container again. The box was well built, but as he hefted it a couple times he didn't think the wood could be that strong. A good quick blow and it should pop open-- or pop apart maybe. Somehow he didn't think Kasumi would go for that solution though.

She perked up at his last statement though. "That's true. Perhaps I'll go do that now." She was up so quickly that Ranma only barely got a chance to stop her, holding up a hand and causing her to slow and look back at him quizically.

"Maybe after the competition?" Ranma suggested. He had kind of been looking for a chance to bring something up after she had told him what happened after he ran-- after he used the Saotome secret technique yesterday and now was as good a time as any. "Not a big deal, but we don't exactly know what's involved. No point giving up anything you don't need ta, even information."

"But...?" Kasumi looked at the puzzle box regretfully, then back towards Happosai's room. He suspected that she might also want to talk with a kindred spirit now that her secret was out with him. He needed to head that off at the pass for the moment though.

"You should probably keep trying for a bit on your own anyway, don't ya, think? Don't want Happosai to think you weren't willing to give it your all, do you?" Ranma's lips twitched into a self satisfied smirk for a moment. That one had been kind of sneaky.

Kasumi appeared to give this some careful thought, then nodded and placed the box back into the pile of dresses she had been carrying around. "That is a good point."

Ranma paused and tried to decide whether to broach his question now, then decided it would never really be a good time. He might as well do it now. "So, I do kind of have to ask something though."

"Yes?" Kasumi appeared ready to tell another story, but this wasn't that kind of question.

"Do you actually want to do this?" Ranma thought it was a good question. He couldn't really imagine throwing a challenge, not a real one anyway. Real being somewhat arbitrarily defined, of course. However, Kasumi wasn't a martial artist, he thought she might--

"Of course!" Kasumi appeared almost hurt that he had questioned her convictions.

--have no doubts at all apparently. He might have called that wounded pride on anyone other than the eldest Tendo sister, but with Kasumi it was more like disappointment in him and questioning herself. It made him feel like a heel, though... it was entirely possible they weren't on the same page in this conversation.

"Not the box, I mean this competition Happosai bribed you into accepting," Ranma clarified.

"Oh." Kasumi dithered for a moment, appearing a bit torn on how to answer the question. After a moment though, she sank back down to the table and set down her bundle before placing her hands into her lap. Her eyes seemed locked upon her clasped fingers and she didn't meet Ranma's eyes.

"I... it's not about want, really," Kasumi said after a minute. Her voice was actually surprisingly steady given the nervousness he had seen up to this point and it had that strange conviction that he had come to associate with her over the last week or two. "I won't lie and say that it wouldn't please me if my sisters and father knew at least.

"I very much dislike having to... to keep secrets from them." Ranma thought that might have started out as lying, but he knew by now that Kasumi didn't like to think of herself as lying. The girl was looking straight at him now, though her hands were still firmly folded in her lap. "Perhaps you think it's silly, but I need to do everything in my power to keep my promise to Mother. If I lose, it won't be the end of the world, but I need to be able to face her and tell her that I tried."

Ranma smiled slightly. "I told ya I must have lost my Mom real young, since I don't remember her at all. That don't mean I think it's silly to respect her memory though.

"No. All I was really trying to see was if you really thought this was something you could win and if so, but it sounds like you want to do this thing.

"So let's talk tactics."
 

DIT_grue

Well-Known Member
#95
balthanon said:
"No.  All I was really trying to see was if you really thought this was something you could win and if so, but it sounds like you want to do this thing.

"So let's talk tactics."
Delete this phrase? (It seems like you originally planned to make the idea of the next paragraph into the end of this sentence, but changed your mind and went with what I think is probably a better piece of prose, only this leftover escaped the edit.)

I do like that there was a misunderstanding between them, and that it was sorted out.
 

balthanon

Well-Known Member
#96
DIT_grue said:
balthanon said:
"No.  All I was really trying to see was if you really thought this was something you could win and if so, but it sounds like you want to do this thing.

"So let's talk tactics."
Delete this phrase? (It seems like you originally planned to make the idea of the next paragraph into the end of this sentence, but changed your mind and went with what I think is probably a better piece of prose, only this leftover escaped the edit.)

I do like that there was a misunderstanding between them, and that it was sorted out.
Yep, pretty much exactly what happened.  Thanks. (Hmm... actually, on rereading it I may need to revise the end of the sentence too-- he hasn't really asked about whether she thinks she can win to that point. I'll need to think about that.)

Glad the scene worked.  I tend to think little disagreements and misunderstandings like this can help to make a story seem a bit more real and less like a hive mind is having a discussion with itself.  :)  Given that it's all coming from one mind, that can be easy to do accidentally.
 

Stormfury

Well-Known Member
#97
What are the odds that Ranma opens the box instead of Kasumi?
 

balthanon

Well-Known Member
#98
Assuming she's willing to let it out of her hands long enough...? :)

I could see Ranma having a bit of experience with things like this-- I tend to have Genma and Ranma's trip as fairly exciting in my head rather than "head here, settle down for 6 months, head to the next place, settle down..." Not to mention some of my plans for Genma.
 

Stormfury

Well-Known Member
#99
I imagine Ranma's life pre-nerima was as absurd and adventure-filled as his life in Nerima.
 

balthanon

Well-Known Member
It's been awhile, but I should finally be getting back to writing.  Between shopping around for a house, an excess of work, and a vacation, I haven't had a lot of time over the past month.  Here is the next section of Anything Goes Laundry Service to start.
=======================
"Hey, Nabiki!"  Ranma increased his speed a little to catch up to the girl heading back upstairs, her arms laden with snacks and juice.  He grabbed those from her and gave her a suave smile.  "Let me help you with those."


His actions got him a raised eyebrow that spoke volumes.  He wasn't sure what it actually said, but he was sure it was meant to imply any number of things.  

"So you've forgiven me, Ranma?"  Nabiki's voice had a light playful tone that said she knew exactly what he intended, but she always sounded like that so he ignored it.  He had kind of forgotten he had been giving her the silent treatment after the mess with his father the other day.

He shrugged and said, "Uh, yeah, I guess so."  She simply nodded and started walking again, slipping into her bedroom and pointing to the table next to her bed as she twirled around and dropped onto her mattress.  He dutifully deposited her snacks on the stand.

Leaning back, Nabiki rested on her palms and crossed her legs, then said, "So what's up?  Looking to add the third Tendo sister to your harem?"  She gave him a considering look, then shook her head with a sad, regretful sigh he was really hoping was fake.  "I'm afraid you're wasting your time.  Ask Kasumi, but I never really shared my toys when I was a kid and I'm not about to start with boys now."

Ranma choked, staring at Nabiki with wide eyes before finally getting control of himself and yelling, "No!  Why-- I mean---  What would even--"  His response ended in a sputtering spate of words even he didn't recognize, his thoughts dissolving into a tangled mess, and he only got a hold of himself as Nabiki started laughing at him.

"You are so easy, Ranma."  She grinned, not unlike a ca-- a certain type of creepy small animal and he scowled at her.  "So what do you really want?"

Putting his aggravation aside, he tried to remember why he had voluntarily initiated contact with Nabiki in the first place.  Ahh, right.  "I wanted to know if you had a printer."

"Just a printer?"

"Ahh, maybe the computer too... and well, I wanted to know if you could make something like this look real."  He thrust out the sheet of paper he had been keeping in his pocket, slightly wrinkled and folded up into fourths.  Nabiki took the small square and unfolded it to reveal his not exactly stunning artwork and writing skills.

"ROSE KRIS firesale... going out of business... all lingerie, women's clothes, and swimsuits must go," she read out loud, her eyes cutting up to Ranma as she finished.  She gave him a thoughtful look and said, "I assume this is for Hap--"  The thoughtful look turned into a glare as he covered the distance between the two in a second and clapped his hand over the middle Tendo sister's mouth.

"Shh..."  He glanced around and sighed in relief when the little pervert didn't show up, then yelped as sharp teeth bit into his fingers.  He snatched his hand away, shaking it and hissing, "Look, I just didn't want him showing up.  Just don't say his name while he's in the house.  He's got a sixth sense for that kind of thing.

"Anyway, it's important.  I need to get rid of him for a little while."  This didn't lessen the glower that Nabiki was turning his way and he flailed for something to say that would convince her.  "I'm sorry, I shouldn'ta jumped on you like that."

He paused, suddenly aware of how that sounded and glanced fearfully towards Akane's room.  When there was no sound of slamming doors or yells of outrage, he turned back.  When he glanced at her again, Nabiki's death gaze had softened due to the amused smirk she was wearing.  He took it as a positive and continued.  "So can ya do it?  It's not just for me."

Leaning down, Nabiki picked up the fake flier again, clicking her tongue as she looked it over.  "I suppose I could.  First though, no way is anyone going to believe that ROSE KRIS is going out of business, let alone that they would advertise with something this tacky."

"But Kasu-- I mean, I heard that was the best shop in the area."  Ranma was a little frustrated, that had been Kasumi's first choice when he asked her about it.  He needed to distract Happosai and they had discussed that, but he wanted her reaction to be authentic, so he had told her he would handle the details.  His questions had been a little oblique he supposed, but he thought he had gotten what he needed.

"Exactly," Nabiki said, as if that explained everything.  When he gave her a blank look, she sighed as if he was being particularly dense.  "It's the most popular store in Nerima for women's clothes.  It's chic, sophisticated and in absolutely no danger of going out of business."  

He supposed that made sense.  "So I should use a different one?"

She nodded.  "Either that or a slight change to the advertisement.  I suppose it's supposed to get him out of the house?"  He nodded in an echo of her own gesture from a moment ago.  She continued, "Well, what might work better for him is..."  She tapped her lips in thought, then grabbed a pen from her desk and flipped the paper over, scribbling over it for a minute or so before handing it back.

He looked over the revised advertisement and his mouth opened slightly.  This was really good.  Rather than the mall flier that he had put together, Nabiki had created something that looked like an oversized formal invitation.  It invited her and Kasumi to attend a tailored fitting session with other "highly valued customers" in order to clear out the store's autumn lineup in preparation for winter.

"Wow, this is amazing."  

His comment got a pleased smile from Nabiki and she leaned down, flicking on the computer sitting under her desk.  Pulling the dust cover off of the small monitor that was off to one side, she then spun in her seat to face him as nonsense words scrolled past on the glass.  "Thank you.  Now... what will you give me to use it?  Paper and ink aren't free you know.  To say nothing of my own time."

This gave Ranma pause and he said, "Uhh..."  Digging in his pockets, he came up with 742 yen and he displayed this to Nabiki.  "Is this enough to cover it?"

She considered that for a moment, then said, "I guess, but only if I get to go in with you."

"What?"  He tried a confused expression and then sighed in defeat when Nabiki simply smiled at him.  "How did you know we were going in his room?"  When Nabiki's eyebrow rose, he realized he had said 'we' and confirmed that they were raiding Happosai's room and he cursed to himself.

"It wasn't that hard," she said after a moment though, apparently not questioning it.  "I really wouldn't mind a chance to get back a few pairs of underwear that have gone missing though.  That will make up the short fall."

Ranma hoped that those items hadn't found their way permanently into Kasumi's collection rather than Happosai's, but finally sighed.  "All right.  You can come, but only if what happens in there stays completely quiet.  No one finds out."  

"How mysterious..."  Nabiki's smirk was back and he narrowed his eyes at her.

"I mean it, if you don't promise, I'll find another way."

"Fine, fine."  Holding out her hand under the still extended money in his own, Nabiki gave him an imperious look that made him roll his eyes before dumping the coins into her palm.  She slipped those into her pockets and he watched her turn to the keyboard and mouse.

Step one was almost done.  He was convinced he had heard Happosai writing in his room, if they could find that or some other weakness to exploit, this battle would nearly be won.
 
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