Ranma ½ Anything Goes Laundry Service
- Thread starter balthanon
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Given that it's a highly successful lingerie shop in Nerima (albeit, not long after Happosai showed up), I could definitely see that happening. 
And Happosai is, of course, not going to hesitate to pin the blame on Ranma.
I figure they've been around for awhile, so I could see them invoking the long dormant LOL ('little old lecher') protocols to summon some wandering guardian of virtue and purity. Who, of course, ends up having no idea that he's actually working for a lingerie shop. Things would no doubt escalate from there when he finally gets sent back to the store to scold them for promoting decadence and libidinous behavior and you have the three store keepers enduring a couple hours of lecturing. They then go to plan 'B' and so on and so forth.
Could make for a fun chapter or two (though it probably won't be in this one. I don't really have room for it.)
And Happosai is, of course, not going to hesitate to pin the blame on Ranma.I figure they've been around for awhile, so I could see them invoking the long dormant LOL ('little old lecher') protocols to summon some wandering guardian of virtue and purity. Who, of course, ends up having no idea that he's actually working for a lingerie shop. Things would no doubt escalate from there when he finally gets sent back to the store to scold them for promoting decadence and libidinous behavior and you have the three store keepers enduring a couple hours of lecturing. They then go to plan 'B' and so on and so forth.
Could make for a fun chapter or two (though it probably won't be in this one. I don't really have room for it.)
Next section for the chapter:
Walking into the living room, Nabiki found Kasumi, Happosai, and Ranma himself were lounging around watching an episode of something he hadn't really been paying attention to and called out, "Mail for you, Kasumi!"
The Tendo housemaker turned on the couch to look at her sister curiously. "Mail? For me?"
Nabiki gave her a small smile and fanned out the envelopes in her hand. "Well, you and me, we both got some." She plucked out one envelope and handed it to Kasumi, who took it hesitantly and tilted her head to examine it before neatly opening it with one nail.
Her gasp of delight was all that Ranma might have hoped and he made sure to keep his face turned away from Happosai. He and Nabiki had gone over the plan in her room for at least an hour as she put on the touches she had said were necessary. When they had gone over their reactions, his brilliant acting had so stunned her that she had said he shouldn't expose Happosai to it lest he distract him from the mail.
Keeping an eye on the wrinkled, old Master out of the corner of his eye though, he saw him perk up at Kasumi's reaction and a few seconds later, he had Nabiki's envelope pulled out of the stack still in her hands.
"Hey, old man! Give that back!" Ranma personally thought that Nabiki's outrage could have used a bit of extra emotion, maybe some hand gestures, but Happosai just ducked out of the way of her attempts at grabbing the mail back.
Tearing it open, he said, "Hotcha! ROSE KRIS? I knew you had good taste, my girl!" He then slapped Nabiki on the butt and Ranma didn't think the gasp of outrage that time was feigned. He just hoped she still had the underwear she was wearing-- there was a 50/50 chance that they were missing now.
Kasumi in the meantime, had gotten to the end of the letter and she looked up in alarm that she was visibly attempting to keep subdued. "Nabiki, this event ends today."
The more mercenary of the two sister's gave Happosai one last glare, then bent down and picked up the discarded envelope that Happosai had left behind. "Oh my, you're right, Kasumi. We only have a few hours and it's all the way on the other side of town."
Kasumi stood abruptly, for her anyway, and said, "Shall we leave now?"
Nabiki in turn eyed the modest, worn dress that Kasumi had been cleaning in and said, "I think perhaps you should change at least. This is ROSE KRIS after all, sale or no. There are going to be dozens of women there judging by the invitation. You wouldn't want to give a bad impression, would you?
"Even if we won't be in our clothes for long."
Happosai's eyes visibly widened at the first comment and at the second, he literally vanished into thin air. Ranma wasn't even able to track the movement he was gone so quickly.
Kasumi wasn't looking much better and she said hurriedly, "Oh, yes. Of course, I'll go do that and be back in a minute." Attempting to run from the room, she gave Ranma a betrayed look as he grabbed her arm and prevented her from leaving. Giving it another minute to be sure the Grand Master of Anything Goes was well and gone, Ranma said, "Don't worry about it, Kasumi. You can't go to that ROSE KRIS thing."
If anything, this caused the look of betrayal to increase in intensity and he hastened to add, "You can't go because it isn't happening."
At her look of confusion, Nabiki gave her a brief grin and said, "Ranma came to me for a little help with his project."
"Project?"
"Project Throw Panties Far Far Away Without Actually Having Panties." Nabiki gave Ranma an amused smirk and he gave her a sour look in return. "His name, not mine. Now shall we go before the little pervert comes back? He owes me another pair of panties on top of the ones I was planning to take back today." This came with her own grimace and Ranma fought hard not to smirk himself at the tables turning.
Kasumi turned a questioning gaze on Ranma and he nodded to her and then Happosai's room before he got up to follow Nabiki. As he passed her, he leaned in close and whispered, "Phase one complete. Nabiki doesn't know the details."
Kasumi trailed along behind them as they left the room and Ranma couldn't help but laugh at the mixed expression on her face. Crushing disappointment at the deception on top of pleasure that they were starting on the plans they had come up with-- it ended up leaving her looking very confused.
The visit to Happosai's room was almost anticlimactic after that. Ranma had to discretely hold Kasumi back when she saw the enormous pile of underwear. Bras, panties, and more racy negligee were heaped on the floor in one corner and there were shelves and dressers that had neatly folded stacks that were more uniformly one or the other elsewhere.
Some that were clearly matching sets were actually kept on the walls like artwork and Nabiki rushed up to one of those and immediately pulled it down. The glare she turned on Ranma afterwards was almost savage and he wondered exactly what use she had for underwear like that. He could almost feel Kasumi's hunger behind him and he said, "Right, so I want to look for martial arts scrolls. You two can get your, uh, unmentionables, back."
Walking up to one of the book cases that was not filled with ladies undergarments, Ranma happened to glance down at the desk and almost stared as he saw the sheet of paper labeled "Fair Contest" and "Kasumi". The writing was just barely legible enough for him to read and he hastily pulled a random scroll off the shelf next to the desk and spread it out, pretending to scan it while he looked over the paper.
While it took him nearly five minutes, he was able to commit the details of the contest, such as they were, to memory and then turned to the rest of the paper. And at that, he ran into a wall. He could make out a word here and there, particularly at the top of the page near the contest rules, but the hand writing just got progressively worse as it went.
Scowling, he rolled up the scroll with a snap and slammed it back into the book case.
"Problems, Ranma, baby?" The sardonic voice caught him by surprise, as he had almost forgotten about Nabiki's presence.
Turning, he took a deep breath to calm down and get over his frustration. "I just can't read the stupid things. Happosai's hand writing is as bad on all of these as it was on his stupid Happosai Fire Blast." Glancing up at a clock, he added. "We should be going, no idea how long the old letch is going to be distracted. You two have everything you need?"
He tried to be surreptious as he looked over at Kasumi. Her typical pleasant smile was perhaps a bit more satisfied and pleased than usual, but otherwise she looked to have gotten control of herself. Time to get out before that changed.
Nabiki had acted with her usual decisiveness at his earlier comment though and stood, looking around for evidence of their presence. He hadn't spotted anything in particular himself, other than the panties that would be missing, which he was almost certain Happosai would notice, but you never knew. Maybe they'd get off scot free.
Walking into the living room, Nabiki found Kasumi, Happosai, and Ranma himself were lounging around watching an episode of something he hadn't really been paying attention to and called out, "Mail for you, Kasumi!"
The Tendo housemaker turned on the couch to look at her sister curiously. "Mail? For me?"
Nabiki gave her a small smile and fanned out the envelopes in her hand. "Well, you and me, we both got some." She plucked out one envelope and handed it to Kasumi, who took it hesitantly and tilted her head to examine it before neatly opening it with one nail.
Her gasp of delight was all that Ranma might have hoped and he made sure to keep his face turned away from Happosai. He and Nabiki had gone over the plan in her room for at least an hour as she put on the touches she had said were necessary. When they had gone over their reactions, his brilliant acting had so stunned her that she had said he shouldn't expose Happosai to it lest he distract him from the mail.
Keeping an eye on the wrinkled, old Master out of the corner of his eye though, he saw him perk up at Kasumi's reaction and a few seconds later, he had Nabiki's envelope pulled out of the stack still in her hands.
"Hey, old man! Give that back!" Ranma personally thought that Nabiki's outrage could have used a bit of extra emotion, maybe some hand gestures, but Happosai just ducked out of the way of her attempts at grabbing the mail back.
Tearing it open, he said, "Hotcha! ROSE KRIS? I knew you had good taste, my girl!" He then slapped Nabiki on the butt and Ranma didn't think the gasp of outrage that time was feigned. He just hoped she still had the underwear she was wearing-- there was a 50/50 chance that they were missing now.
Kasumi in the meantime, had gotten to the end of the letter and she looked up in alarm that she was visibly attempting to keep subdued. "Nabiki, this event ends today."
The more mercenary of the two sister's gave Happosai one last glare, then bent down and picked up the discarded envelope that Happosai had left behind. "Oh my, you're right, Kasumi. We only have a few hours and it's all the way on the other side of town."
Kasumi stood abruptly, for her anyway, and said, "Shall we leave now?"
Nabiki in turn eyed the modest, worn dress that Kasumi had been cleaning in and said, "I think perhaps you should change at least. This is ROSE KRIS after all, sale or no. There are going to be dozens of women there judging by the invitation. You wouldn't want to give a bad impression, would you?
"Even if we won't be in our clothes for long."
Happosai's eyes visibly widened at the first comment and at the second, he literally vanished into thin air. Ranma wasn't even able to track the movement he was gone so quickly.
Kasumi wasn't looking much better and she said hurriedly, "Oh, yes. Of course, I'll go do that and be back in a minute." Attempting to run from the room, she gave Ranma a betrayed look as he grabbed her arm and prevented her from leaving. Giving it another minute to be sure the Grand Master of Anything Goes was well and gone, Ranma said, "Don't worry about it, Kasumi. You can't go to that ROSE KRIS thing."
If anything, this caused the look of betrayal to increase in intensity and he hastened to add, "You can't go because it isn't happening."
At her look of confusion, Nabiki gave her a brief grin and said, "Ranma came to me for a little help with his project."
"Project?"
"Project Throw Panties Far Far Away Without Actually Having Panties." Nabiki gave Ranma an amused smirk and he gave her a sour look in return. "His name, not mine. Now shall we go before the little pervert comes back? He owes me another pair of panties on top of the ones I was planning to take back today." This came with her own grimace and Ranma fought hard not to smirk himself at the tables turning.
Kasumi turned a questioning gaze on Ranma and he nodded to her and then Happosai's room before he got up to follow Nabiki. As he passed her, he leaned in close and whispered, "Phase one complete. Nabiki doesn't know the details."
Kasumi trailed along behind them as they left the room and Ranma couldn't help but laugh at the mixed expression on her face. Crushing disappointment at the deception on top of pleasure that they were starting on the plans they had come up with-- it ended up leaving her looking very confused.
The visit to Happosai's room was almost anticlimactic after that. Ranma had to discretely hold Kasumi back when she saw the enormous pile of underwear. Bras, panties, and more racy negligee were heaped on the floor in one corner and there were shelves and dressers that had neatly folded stacks that were more uniformly one or the other elsewhere.
Some that were clearly matching sets were actually kept on the walls like artwork and Nabiki rushed up to one of those and immediately pulled it down. The glare she turned on Ranma afterwards was almost savage and he wondered exactly what use she had for underwear like that. He could almost feel Kasumi's hunger behind him and he said, "Right, so I want to look for martial arts scrolls. You two can get your, uh, unmentionables, back."
Walking up to one of the book cases that was not filled with ladies undergarments, Ranma happened to glance down at the desk and almost stared as he saw the sheet of paper labeled "Fair Contest" and "Kasumi". The writing was just barely legible enough for him to read and he hastily pulled a random scroll off the shelf next to the desk and spread it out, pretending to scan it while he looked over the paper.
While it took him nearly five minutes, he was able to commit the details of the contest, such as they were, to memory and then turned to the rest of the paper. And at that, he ran into a wall. He could make out a word here and there, particularly at the top of the page near the contest rules, but the hand writing just got progressively worse as it went.
Scowling, he rolled up the scroll with a snap and slammed it back into the book case.
"Problems, Ranma, baby?" The sardonic voice caught him by surprise, as he had almost forgotten about Nabiki's presence.
Turning, he took a deep breath to calm down and get over his frustration. "I just can't read the stupid things. Happosai's hand writing is as bad on all of these as it was on his stupid Happosai Fire Blast." Glancing up at a clock, he added. "We should be going, no idea how long the old letch is going to be distracted. You two have everything you need?"
He tried to be surreptious as he looked over at Kasumi. Her typical pleasant smile was perhaps a bit more satisfied and pleased than usual, but otherwise she looked to have gotten control of herself. Time to get out before that changed.
Nabiki had acted with her usual decisiveness at his earlier comment though and stood, looking around for evidence of their presence. He hadn't spotted anything in particular himself, other than the panties that would be missing, which he was almost certain Happosai would notice, but you never knew. Maybe they'd get off scot free.
Thanks, it was definitely redundant-- a leftover from the editing process where I modified the sentence structure.
I was originally actually going to skim over the execution entirely since it had been discussed, but none of the transitions to the next section were working for me, so I ended up writing it out. I really should learn to write asynchronously-- work on whatever section of the story I feel like at the time. At the moment, I pretty much go purely chronologically other than my notes and outline.
I was originally actually going to skim over the execution entirely since it had been discussed, but none of the transitions to the next section were working for me, so I ended up writing it out. I really should learn to write asynchronously-- work on whatever section of the story I feel like at the time. At the moment, I pretty much go purely chronologically other than my notes and outline.
Hoping to complete this by 1/16 so that I can at least say that the first arc didn't take me a more than a year, so here's the next section. Hopefully I'll have more every day or two.
--------------------------
"Give 'em back, give 'em back, give 'em back!" Ranma groaned, taking another half hearted swipe at Happosai as each repetition of the words was punctuated by a smack to his head with the repulsive little gnome's pipe. He would swear the midget was 3 sometimes, instead of 300.
How Happosai had identified him as an intruder without fingering Kasumi and Nabiki was beyond him, but the results were only slightly less unpleasant than he had been expecting. His head ached abominably and he was so tired from his initial attempts to avoid or finish the fight that Happosai barely had to move to avoid his swipes.
He had not been in a particularly good mood upon returning from the other side of Nerima and had known in about three seconds that some of his "silky darlings" were missing. The attack that had followed had pushed Ranma to his limits and then moved beyond them rapidly.
It had then degenerated into this.
"Give 'em back, give 'em back, give 'em back!" Ranma just slumped this time and gave Kasumi a pleading look, which made her nod to him pleasantly, then turn back to Happosai.
"Grandfather, I think Ranma is done playing with you. Perhaps you would like some dinner?"
The steady rhythm broke off with the pipe resting against Ranma's head and he sighed in relief--briefly because moments later the heat registered along with a distinct odor of burning hair.
"Ahhh!" Jumping up, Ranma slapped at the top of his head and only succeeded in burning his hands as well. Panicking, he went with the first instinct he had for water after all this time and jumped out of the room and into the fish pond. As the burning subsided, she burst out of the water with the standard changes in place, glowering at the little troll as he spun the pipe once and then made it disappear.
Nabiki simply watched the events with an upraised eyebrow.
"Perhaps you're right, my dear," Happosai said, his eyes crinkling as he beamed at Kasumi and completely ignored Ranma's muttering. "I'll go get cleaned up."
Turning around, the little old man spun around and bounded out of the room leaving Ranma, Kasumi, and Nabiki. Stepping out of the pond, the now red-haired girl scowled at her nominal master as he left the room and started the familiar process of wringing out her clothes and hair.
Stalking inside, she accepted a towel from Kasumi with a muttered thanks and sat down at the table again, rubbing at her hair vigorously with the rough towel. Feeling at the crown of her head gingerly with one hand, she glanced over at Nabiki and said, "I don't suppose you..."
Nabiki leaned down and rummaged in her purse for a minute, then came out with a compact that she flipped open and displayed to Ranma. The martial artist in turn peered into it, then waved her thanks at the middle Tendo sister.
"Not too bad, can't really make out the damage if you're not looking for it."
This caused Nabiki to burst into a peal of laughter. "You're such a girl, Saotome."
Kasumi tsked in response to this and said, "That wasn't very nice, Nabiki."
"Me? I wasn't the one who dumped hot coals on Ranma's head," Nabiki protested, her laughter cutting off.
The elder Tendo sister nodded thoughtfully. "That is true, Grandfather Happosai did go a bit far this time."
A bit? Ranma mouthed the words and exchanged glances with Nabiki, shaking his head. "Why do you even call him Grandfather, Kasumi?" he asked a moment later instead of voicing the disbelief. "I mean Nabiki and Akane sure don't. Well, not in the same tone at the very least."
Nabiki gave him a look he couldn't quite interpret, then said dryly, "Do you think the pervert is grandfatherly? I always just figured Kasumi was more polite than I am and had way more self-control."
"Well, yes," Kasumi agreed placidly, causing Nabiki to shoot her a hard look. Ranma suspected she had been fishing for a denial instead of confirmation. "But I think there was a reason as well..."
Putting a finger to her lips, Kasumi's eyes unfocused and she said, "I think it was when I was very young, shortly after Nabiki was born..."
___===--- ( \/ ) ---===___
"Are you done, Kasumi?" Daddy's voice was barely interested, his attention on the little baby her mother was holding like it had been since she came home a whole month ago.
Sadly, Kasumi put one last stuffed animal into the little backpack she had gotten for her birthday. She had Rose and Sakura and Kuma and her blanket and two whole packs of cookies left on the counter and her sippy cup filled with juice.
"Yes, Daddy." Kasumi looked up and saw her father just shoo her away, towards the back gate of the Tendo property. Struggling to get her backpack on, she trudged towards the gate with heavy footsteps that crunched super loudly on the gravel. Periodically, she looked over her shoulder, but her parents were still absorbed with baby Nabiki and she headed through the already opened portal to the outside world with a heavy heart.
Daddy and Mommy had been clear that she was supposed to leave now that they had a new baby, so she would have to go to someone else who wanted her. This was where she would find them she guessed. Maybe she would need to wander the world like Daddy.
Turning after she had squeezed out of the gate almost getting her new backpack caught, Kasumi caught sight of someone down the street who was almost her size and decided that must be who she was supposed to meet.
Plodding down the street, she thought it was awfully good that her and Mommy went for walks so often. It must have been to prepare her for all the wandering and stuff, just like Daddy had been preparing her to fight the bad guys when he was home. As she approached the little man she had spotted, that thought made her pause for a moment. What if this was a bad man, too?
She thought she was too close now to go the other way, so she decided she should check. "Are you a bad guy?"
This caused the person to spin and she saw that he had wrinkles and white hair, just like her grandma, so he was probably an old person. Though she had never met one that was as small as her. Her question apparently amused him and he tucked something into a large bag he was sorting through before saying, "Not at all. I am a martial arts master. A guardian of the innocent and pure things of this world, regardless of the people who want to abandon them to the elements or leave them trapped and lonely."
Kasumi blinked at this, trying to understand the answer, then asked, "So you're a good guy?"
"I am." He nodded solemnly. He stroked one little mustache, then looked around a bit and asked, "Where is your Mommy?"
Sighing forlornly, the little girl said, "Mommy doesn't want me."
Frowning, the man rubbed his chin and said, "That seems hard to believe for such a cute kid. How about your Daddy? Is he around?"
She shook her head and said, "Daddy sent me away. I was bad."
"Doesn't sound like the best home environment." This was kind of muttered under his breath, but she still heard it, even if she didn't quite understand what it meant. "How about you stick around with me for awhile?"
Kasumi considered this for a moment. She wasn't supposed to go anywhere with strangers, but Daddy had sent her here. She put her hands through the straps on her backpack and rocked on her heels while thinking through the problem, then abruptly said, "My name is Kasumi."
The non-sequitor didn't seem to phase the little old man and he said, "And my name is Happosai."
___===--- ( \/ ) ---===___
"Hold on a minute," Nabiki interupted. "You're trying to tell me that Mom and Dad kicked you out of the house at the tender age of two and a half years old and gave you to Happosai to raise?"
Kasumi paused and said, "Now that you mention it, that does seem out of character." She tapped her lips briefly in thought and said, "Perhaps my memory of that time is a bit sketchy. It does put routing that gang of bandits and the attack by a yeti later on into doubt as well."
"You think?"
Ranma suspected the sarcasm on those two words was probably heavy enough to register even to Kasumi.
"I know you have an insanely good memory, Kasumi. I'm continuously surprised by it. But I'm thinking this didn't happen at all," Nabiki said. Ranma thought she actually looked a little smug about this and he wondered how many times the middle sister had been caught out by her older sister over something she thought better forgotten.
"Ahh, but she did disappear around that time." Ranma and Nabiki both spun at the sound of Genma's voice, though Kasumi only smiled and moved a magazine off of one of the pillows so that the elder Saotome could take a seat.
"I remember it well," Genma continued after having moved in to take his place at the table. "I received a call from Tendo at approximately 2:30 in the afternoon. He was in a panic, seemed he had misplaced his youngest daughter somehow. 'She's not in her room, not in the dojo... I can't find her anywhere!' he exclaimed." Ranma suspected that Soun might find the high falsetto that Genma used to emulate his friend's voice a bit offensive.
"It was clear the man was in desperate straights, particularly with the Master due back from China, ready to tear us from our families yet again and prevent him from searching.
"I spoke with him for only a few minutes by phone and assured him I would be over as soon as humanly possible to assist him with the search..."
___===--- ( \/ ) ---===___
The sun beat down overhead, the air a clear, cloudless blue that left waves of heat shimmering in the air over the steaming asphalt. The sidewalks beside the high walls of the Tendo dojo were marginally cooler than the black surfaces over which the occassional car passed, but the heat that radiated from them through the thin soles of Kasumi's shoes was still punishing.
Indeed, the little girl frequently rocked back and forth between one foot and the other. Periodically, she glanced over at Happosai and favored him with a brave smile and the little man eventually pulled out a bottle of something that smelled sour and potent, taking a swig before offering it to the little girl.
___===--- ( \/ ) ---===___
Genma's head slammed into the table and bounced off, leaving his eyes spinning and unfocused as he crashed backwards and sprawled over the stone steps. Ranma wasn't too upset, his pops had spent nearly three minutes just describing how hot that day had been.
"If you're gonna tell a story, tell it right!" Happosai yelled, growling at his student. He crossed his arms over his chest and said indignantly, "I would never offer a child sake. I won't stand for my honor to be besmirched like that."
Genma groaned and Ranma decided to add, "Just get on with what actually happened. We don't need all the details, just the important ones."
His father sat up moments later with a slightly sheepish expression on his face and said, "Ahh, technically I don't really know the details. Your mother dragged me off to see her parents before I could go help Tendo with the search. Thought it was another excuse to avoid it.
"Soun didn't speak to me for nearly a month when we resumed our training trip, so I never found out what happened beyond a curt, 'Kasumi's safe'."
Ranma nearly groaned. He should have known. His Pop was a blowhard, but it was always at its worse when he was trying to cover up a lack of knowledge. He should have realized he didn't know anything after the second minute of variations on 'harsh yellow sun' and 'day to make a camel desperate for a drink'.
Happosai settled down and said, "well, if this idiot doesn't know the true story, I might as well tell it myself.
"As I recall, little Kasumi here was being chased by some ne'er-do-well or other. Might have been Nazi's come to think of it since the person was in a uniform of some kind. I, of course, jumped to the conclusion that she had been kidnapped and rescued the poor girl from a fate worse than death or a dearth of panties."
___===--- ( \/ ) ---===___
"Well, we're safe now," Happosai said, grinning at Kasumi and appearing well satisfied.
"Do it again, Granpa!" yelled Kasumi, laughing and jumping around herself between the trees in the park they had stopped at. Her earlier concerns about the old man had dissipated after he had carried her bouncing between buildings while they ran from the bad men. That was even more fun than when she played airplane with Daddy.
The old man laughed, a cackling happy sound that made her grin at him, even though he waved off her request and said, "Maybe later, Kasumi dear."
"Pwease?" Kasumi tried a small pout and was rewarded with another grin, but her upraised arms were ignored.
"Tell you what, why don't I teach you how to do it yourself instead?" Happosai looked around and gestured for Kasumi to follow him as they wended their way out of the deeper woods where his tent was set up and pointed to the path they had encountered.
The next couple hours were spent running about the park, playing on jungle gyms, and more, all while jumping as long and high as she could from anything and everything. Any time Kasumi got tired, her new granpa would come over and pat her on the back and she would be ready to go again.
It was the most fun she had had in months, but eventually it started getting dark and Granpa Happosai said it was time for bed. When they got back to camp, she pulled her blanket from her backpack and immediately crawled into the tent and fell asleep.
...
"All I gotta do is jump on 'em and hug them?" Kasumi asked, her eyes doubtful. Granpa Happosai hadn't told her a lie yet, but she was pretty sure Daddy had said you had to punch or kick the bad guys to make them go away. She was sure her new clothes would be perfect for that too.
Happosai nodded solemnly. "These poor women have merely been led astray into a life of villainy. A warm embrace from an adorable child such as yourself will help them to see the error of their ways.
"Can you do it, Kasumi?"
Kasumi jumped up and nodded enthusiastically. "I can!"
"Good girl, let's go!"
Following Happosai, she and he stopped when they were near the bushes and Happosai pointed out the first of the bandits. Dressed just as he had said, in a tank top, head band, shorts, and sneakers, the woman was running through the park chasing a man dressed similarly. Turning, she asked, "Is the boy a bad guy too?"
"Uhh... no, no, I'm afraid she's... no doubt captured him and he's trying to escape right now. Probably stole one of their uniforms to sneak out."
Kasumi gasped. "That's 'orrible!"
Happosai nodded solemnly. "That's right. Better hurry. Remember what I said to say. It will remind these women of their maternal instincts to more quickly cure them of their evil ways."
Nodding back as seriously as she could, Kasumi burst out of the bushes and jumped as the woman was passing, wrapping her arms around the woman's chest and yelling, "Got you, Mommy!"
Drawing to a halt as the little girl started sliding down, the woman quickly caught Kasumi and pulled her up asking, "And who are you, honey? Because I'm pretty certain I would know if a little girl as cute as you were my daughter."
"I'm Kasumi!"
Looking around, apparently looking for an adult or perhaps responding to Happosai attaching himself to her back and prompting giggles from Kasumi, the woman said, "And where's your Mommy?"
"Umm..." Kasumi tried to remember her line for this, but it wouldn't come to her so instead she said, "She's with Biki." Mommy had always told her the truth was best, so that would work.
"Should we take you to her?" Another brief frown crossed the woman's face and she looked behind herself, but she quickly turned back to the little girl in her arms.
"No need, no need." Happosai stepped out of the bushes, smiling genially. "I'm watching her at the moment."
The woman smiled and said, "How cute, you have matching clothes."
Kasumi grinned, looking down at the little crimson jumpsuit that Happosai had let her use and leaned in to whisper to the woman, "I'm a ninja."
"Oh, I see." The woman smiled again and set Kasumi down and she ran over to Happosai. "I guess that's why you're ambushing your Mom when she gets here, huh? Good luck then."
Waving, she took off jogging again as Kasumi and Happosai retreated to the bushes again.
"Is she fixed now?"
When Kasumi asked if they had cured her, Happosai simply pointed to where the woman had stopped perhaps a hundred feet down the path and had turned around searching her surroundings, her cheeks red and her arms crossed over her chest.
"That's a perfect sign that she's on her way to being cured, Kasumi dear!"
...
"Stay back now, Kasumi!"
Kasumi gasped as the big, hairy man attacked Happosai again, this time with a bomb that blew up into a white cloud before he threw several spatulas into it. She cheered as her new grandpa jumped out none the worse for the wear though.
Thoughtfully taking a bite of the okonomiyaki that the old man had provided to her, Kasumi chewed carefully. This was even better than Mommy's cooking. She didn't even mind the vegetables on it and she usually hated those.
The big man had been knocked back into the building that Happosai had come out of with the big stack of okonomiyaki again and he appeared to be growling like a bear. Swiping at the little man with the big spatula again, he seemed to be having little luck hitting his elusive target even as it finished off its own okonomiyaki.
"I got a say, these are pretty good." Happosai licked his fingers a few times and looked about for some more. While he was distracted, the big man suddenly threw out a weird looking rope which wrapped around him several times.
Swinging his opponent up into the air, he roared, "Then pay for it, you thief!"
Happosai landed painfully on his head and the bearded man he was fighting roared in triumph, turning to wave his big spatula at a frail looking woman on the sidelines who had been cheering him on. When her eyes widened in surprise though, he spun just in time to see the little man splurp up the last of the super tough rope, let out a belch, and then pull out a positively massive looking firework to throw at him.
Responding in time, he brought his spatula back up and almost gently caught the bomb and spun it around to lob right back at Happosai. The old man nodded appreciatively, then vanished, appeared next to Kasumi and picked her up and started bounding back through the streets.
As she shouted, "Whee!" another shout echoed out from behind them.
"No! I haven't paid the insurance yet this month!"
She couldn't see the building or man anymore, but the fireworks that were visible over the nearest building were awfully pretty.
--------------------------
"Give 'em back, give 'em back, give 'em back!" Ranma groaned, taking another half hearted swipe at Happosai as each repetition of the words was punctuated by a smack to his head with the repulsive little gnome's pipe. He would swear the midget was 3 sometimes, instead of 300.
How Happosai had identified him as an intruder without fingering Kasumi and Nabiki was beyond him, but the results were only slightly less unpleasant than he had been expecting. His head ached abominably and he was so tired from his initial attempts to avoid or finish the fight that Happosai barely had to move to avoid his swipes.
He had not been in a particularly good mood upon returning from the other side of Nerima and had known in about three seconds that some of his "silky darlings" were missing. The attack that had followed had pushed Ranma to his limits and then moved beyond them rapidly.
It had then degenerated into this.
"Give 'em back, give 'em back, give 'em back!" Ranma just slumped this time and gave Kasumi a pleading look, which made her nod to him pleasantly, then turn back to Happosai.
"Grandfather, I think Ranma is done playing with you. Perhaps you would like some dinner?"
The steady rhythm broke off with the pipe resting against Ranma's head and he sighed in relief--briefly because moments later the heat registered along with a distinct odor of burning hair.
"Ahhh!" Jumping up, Ranma slapped at the top of his head and only succeeded in burning his hands as well. Panicking, he went with the first instinct he had for water after all this time and jumped out of the room and into the fish pond. As the burning subsided, she burst out of the water with the standard changes in place, glowering at the little troll as he spun the pipe once and then made it disappear.
Nabiki simply watched the events with an upraised eyebrow.
"Perhaps you're right, my dear," Happosai said, his eyes crinkling as he beamed at Kasumi and completely ignored Ranma's muttering. "I'll go get cleaned up."
Turning around, the little old man spun around and bounded out of the room leaving Ranma, Kasumi, and Nabiki. Stepping out of the pond, the now red-haired girl scowled at her nominal master as he left the room and started the familiar process of wringing out her clothes and hair.
Stalking inside, she accepted a towel from Kasumi with a muttered thanks and sat down at the table again, rubbing at her hair vigorously with the rough towel. Feeling at the crown of her head gingerly with one hand, she glanced over at Nabiki and said, "I don't suppose you..."
Nabiki leaned down and rummaged in her purse for a minute, then came out with a compact that she flipped open and displayed to Ranma. The martial artist in turn peered into it, then waved her thanks at the middle Tendo sister.
"Not too bad, can't really make out the damage if you're not looking for it."
This caused Nabiki to burst into a peal of laughter. "You're such a girl, Saotome."
Kasumi tsked in response to this and said, "That wasn't very nice, Nabiki."
"Me? I wasn't the one who dumped hot coals on Ranma's head," Nabiki protested, her laughter cutting off.
The elder Tendo sister nodded thoughtfully. "That is true, Grandfather Happosai did go a bit far this time."
A bit? Ranma mouthed the words and exchanged glances with Nabiki, shaking his head. "Why do you even call him Grandfather, Kasumi?" he asked a moment later instead of voicing the disbelief. "I mean Nabiki and Akane sure don't. Well, not in the same tone at the very least."
Nabiki gave him a look he couldn't quite interpret, then said dryly, "Do you think the pervert is grandfatherly? I always just figured Kasumi was more polite than I am and had way more self-control."
"Well, yes," Kasumi agreed placidly, causing Nabiki to shoot her a hard look. Ranma suspected she had been fishing for a denial instead of confirmation. "But I think there was a reason as well..."
Putting a finger to her lips, Kasumi's eyes unfocused and she said, "I think it was when I was very young, shortly after Nabiki was born..."
___===--- ( \/ ) ---===___
"Are you done, Kasumi?" Daddy's voice was barely interested, his attention on the little baby her mother was holding like it had been since she came home a whole month ago.
Sadly, Kasumi put one last stuffed animal into the little backpack she had gotten for her birthday. She had Rose and Sakura and Kuma and her blanket and two whole packs of cookies left on the counter and her sippy cup filled with juice.
"Yes, Daddy." Kasumi looked up and saw her father just shoo her away, towards the back gate of the Tendo property. Struggling to get her backpack on, she trudged towards the gate with heavy footsteps that crunched super loudly on the gravel. Periodically, she looked over her shoulder, but her parents were still absorbed with baby Nabiki and she headed through the already opened portal to the outside world with a heavy heart.
Daddy and Mommy had been clear that she was supposed to leave now that they had a new baby, so she would have to go to someone else who wanted her. This was where she would find them she guessed. Maybe she would need to wander the world like Daddy.
Turning after she had squeezed out of the gate almost getting her new backpack caught, Kasumi caught sight of someone down the street who was almost her size and decided that must be who she was supposed to meet.
Plodding down the street, she thought it was awfully good that her and Mommy went for walks so often. It must have been to prepare her for all the wandering and stuff, just like Daddy had been preparing her to fight the bad guys when he was home. As she approached the little man she had spotted, that thought made her pause for a moment. What if this was a bad man, too?
She thought she was too close now to go the other way, so she decided she should check. "Are you a bad guy?"
This caused the person to spin and she saw that he had wrinkles and white hair, just like her grandma, so he was probably an old person. Though she had never met one that was as small as her. Her question apparently amused him and he tucked something into a large bag he was sorting through before saying, "Not at all. I am a martial arts master. A guardian of the innocent and pure things of this world, regardless of the people who want to abandon them to the elements or leave them trapped and lonely."
Kasumi blinked at this, trying to understand the answer, then asked, "So you're a good guy?"
"I am." He nodded solemnly. He stroked one little mustache, then looked around a bit and asked, "Where is your Mommy?"
Sighing forlornly, the little girl said, "Mommy doesn't want me."
Frowning, the man rubbed his chin and said, "That seems hard to believe for such a cute kid. How about your Daddy? Is he around?"
She shook her head and said, "Daddy sent me away. I was bad."
"Doesn't sound like the best home environment." This was kind of muttered under his breath, but she still heard it, even if she didn't quite understand what it meant. "How about you stick around with me for awhile?"
Kasumi considered this for a moment. She wasn't supposed to go anywhere with strangers, but Daddy had sent her here. She put her hands through the straps on her backpack and rocked on her heels while thinking through the problem, then abruptly said, "My name is Kasumi."
The non-sequitor didn't seem to phase the little old man and he said, "And my name is Happosai."
___===--- ( \/ ) ---===___
"Hold on a minute," Nabiki interupted. "You're trying to tell me that Mom and Dad kicked you out of the house at the tender age of two and a half years old and gave you to Happosai to raise?"
Kasumi paused and said, "Now that you mention it, that does seem out of character." She tapped her lips briefly in thought and said, "Perhaps my memory of that time is a bit sketchy. It does put routing that gang of bandits and the attack by a yeti later on into doubt as well."
"You think?"
Ranma suspected the sarcasm on those two words was probably heavy enough to register even to Kasumi.
"I know you have an insanely good memory, Kasumi. I'm continuously surprised by it. But I'm thinking this didn't happen at all," Nabiki said. Ranma thought she actually looked a little smug about this and he wondered how many times the middle sister had been caught out by her older sister over something she thought better forgotten.
"Ahh, but she did disappear around that time." Ranma and Nabiki both spun at the sound of Genma's voice, though Kasumi only smiled and moved a magazine off of one of the pillows so that the elder Saotome could take a seat.
"I remember it well," Genma continued after having moved in to take his place at the table. "I received a call from Tendo at approximately 2:30 in the afternoon. He was in a panic, seemed he had misplaced his youngest daughter somehow. 'She's not in her room, not in the dojo... I can't find her anywhere!' he exclaimed." Ranma suspected that Soun might find the high falsetto that Genma used to emulate his friend's voice a bit offensive.
"It was clear the man was in desperate straights, particularly with the Master due back from China, ready to tear us from our families yet again and prevent him from searching.
"I spoke with him for only a few minutes by phone and assured him I would be over as soon as humanly possible to assist him with the search..."
___===--- ( \/ ) ---===___
The sun beat down overhead, the air a clear, cloudless blue that left waves of heat shimmering in the air over the steaming asphalt. The sidewalks beside the high walls of the Tendo dojo were marginally cooler than the black surfaces over which the occassional car passed, but the heat that radiated from them through the thin soles of Kasumi's shoes was still punishing.
Indeed, the little girl frequently rocked back and forth between one foot and the other. Periodically, she glanced over at Happosai and favored him with a brave smile and the little man eventually pulled out a bottle of something that smelled sour and potent, taking a swig before offering it to the little girl.
___===--- ( \/ ) ---===___
Genma's head slammed into the table and bounced off, leaving his eyes spinning and unfocused as he crashed backwards and sprawled over the stone steps. Ranma wasn't too upset, his pops had spent nearly three minutes just describing how hot that day had been.
"If you're gonna tell a story, tell it right!" Happosai yelled, growling at his student. He crossed his arms over his chest and said indignantly, "I would never offer a child sake. I won't stand for my honor to be besmirched like that."
Genma groaned and Ranma decided to add, "Just get on with what actually happened. We don't need all the details, just the important ones."
His father sat up moments later with a slightly sheepish expression on his face and said, "Ahh, technically I don't really know the details. Your mother dragged me off to see her parents before I could go help Tendo with the search. Thought it was another excuse to avoid it.
"Soun didn't speak to me for nearly a month when we resumed our training trip, so I never found out what happened beyond a curt, 'Kasumi's safe'."
Ranma nearly groaned. He should have known. His Pop was a blowhard, but it was always at its worse when he was trying to cover up a lack of knowledge. He should have realized he didn't know anything after the second minute of variations on 'harsh yellow sun' and 'day to make a camel desperate for a drink'.
Happosai settled down and said, "well, if this idiot doesn't know the true story, I might as well tell it myself.
"As I recall, little Kasumi here was being chased by some ne'er-do-well or other. Might have been Nazi's come to think of it since the person was in a uniform of some kind. I, of course, jumped to the conclusion that she had been kidnapped and rescued the poor girl from a fate worse than death or a dearth of panties."
___===--- ( \/ ) ---===___
"Well, we're safe now," Happosai said, grinning at Kasumi and appearing well satisfied.
"Do it again, Granpa!" yelled Kasumi, laughing and jumping around herself between the trees in the park they had stopped at. Her earlier concerns about the old man had dissipated after he had carried her bouncing between buildings while they ran from the bad men. That was even more fun than when she played airplane with Daddy.
The old man laughed, a cackling happy sound that made her grin at him, even though he waved off her request and said, "Maybe later, Kasumi dear."
"Pwease?" Kasumi tried a small pout and was rewarded with another grin, but her upraised arms were ignored.
"Tell you what, why don't I teach you how to do it yourself instead?" Happosai looked around and gestured for Kasumi to follow him as they wended their way out of the deeper woods where his tent was set up and pointed to the path they had encountered.
The next couple hours were spent running about the park, playing on jungle gyms, and more, all while jumping as long and high as she could from anything and everything. Any time Kasumi got tired, her new granpa would come over and pat her on the back and she would be ready to go again.
It was the most fun she had had in months, but eventually it started getting dark and Granpa Happosai said it was time for bed. When they got back to camp, she pulled her blanket from her backpack and immediately crawled into the tent and fell asleep.
...
"All I gotta do is jump on 'em and hug them?" Kasumi asked, her eyes doubtful. Granpa Happosai hadn't told her a lie yet, but she was pretty sure Daddy had said you had to punch or kick the bad guys to make them go away. She was sure her new clothes would be perfect for that too.
Happosai nodded solemnly. "These poor women have merely been led astray into a life of villainy. A warm embrace from an adorable child such as yourself will help them to see the error of their ways.
"Can you do it, Kasumi?"
Kasumi jumped up and nodded enthusiastically. "I can!"
"Good girl, let's go!"
Following Happosai, she and he stopped when they were near the bushes and Happosai pointed out the first of the bandits. Dressed just as he had said, in a tank top, head band, shorts, and sneakers, the woman was running through the park chasing a man dressed similarly. Turning, she asked, "Is the boy a bad guy too?"
"Uhh... no, no, I'm afraid she's... no doubt captured him and he's trying to escape right now. Probably stole one of their uniforms to sneak out."
Kasumi gasped. "That's 'orrible!"
Happosai nodded solemnly. "That's right. Better hurry. Remember what I said to say. It will remind these women of their maternal instincts to more quickly cure them of their evil ways."
Nodding back as seriously as she could, Kasumi burst out of the bushes and jumped as the woman was passing, wrapping her arms around the woman's chest and yelling, "Got you, Mommy!"
Drawing to a halt as the little girl started sliding down, the woman quickly caught Kasumi and pulled her up asking, "And who are you, honey? Because I'm pretty certain I would know if a little girl as cute as you were my daughter."
"I'm Kasumi!"
Looking around, apparently looking for an adult or perhaps responding to Happosai attaching himself to her back and prompting giggles from Kasumi, the woman said, "And where's your Mommy?"
"Umm..." Kasumi tried to remember her line for this, but it wouldn't come to her so instead she said, "She's with Biki." Mommy had always told her the truth was best, so that would work.
"Should we take you to her?" Another brief frown crossed the woman's face and she looked behind herself, but she quickly turned back to the little girl in her arms.
"No need, no need." Happosai stepped out of the bushes, smiling genially. "I'm watching her at the moment."
The woman smiled and said, "How cute, you have matching clothes."
Kasumi grinned, looking down at the little crimson jumpsuit that Happosai had let her use and leaned in to whisper to the woman, "I'm a ninja."
"Oh, I see." The woman smiled again and set Kasumi down and she ran over to Happosai. "I guess that's why you're ambushing your Mom when she gets here, huh? Good luck then."
Waving, she took off jogging again as Kasumi and Happosai retreated to the bushes again.
"Is she fixed now?"
When Kasumi asked if they had cured her, Happosai simply pointed to where the woman had stopped perhaps a hundred feet down the path and had turned around searching her surroundings, her cheeks red and her arms crossed over her chest.
"That's a perfect sign that she's on her way to being cured, Kasumi dear!"
...
"Stay back now, Kasumi!"
Kasumi gasped as the big, hairy man attacked Happosai again, this time with a bomb that blew up into a white cloud before he threw several spatulas into it. She cheered as her new grandpa jumped out none the worse for the wear though.
Thoughtfully taking a bite of the okonomiyaki that the old man had provided to her, Kasumi chewed carefully. This was even better than Mommy's cooking. She didn't even mind the vegetables on it and she usually hated those.
The big man had been knocked back into the building that Happosai had come out of with the big stack of okonomiyaki again and he appeared to be growling like a bear. Swiping at the little man with the big spatula again, he seemed to be having little luck hitting his elusive target even as it finished off its own okonomiyaki.
"I got a say, these are pretty good." Happosai licked his fingers a few times and looked about for some more. While he was distracted, the big man suddenly threw out a weird looking rope which wrapped around him several times.
Swinging his opponent up into the air, he roared, "Then pay for it, you thief!"
Happosai landed painfully on his head and the bearded man he was fighting roared in triumph, turning to wave his big spatula at a frail looking woman on the sidelines who had been cheering him on. When her eyes widened in surprise though, he spun just in time to see the little man splurp up the last of the super tough rope, let out a belch, and then pull out a positively massive looking firework to throw at him.
Responding in time, he brought his spatula back up and almost gently caught the bomb and spun it around to lob right back at Happosai. The old man nodded appreciatively, then vanished, appeared next to Kasumi and picked her up and started bounding back through the streets.
As she shouted, "Whee!" another shout echoed out from behind them.
"No! I haven't paid the insurance yet this month!"
She couldn't see the building or man anymore, but the fireworks that were visible over the nearest building were awfully pretty.
___===--- ( \/ ) ---===___
Ranma blinked, listening to the story and glanced over at first Kasumi, who was nodding as if this was jogging memories for her and then Nabiki.
Nabiki met his gaze for a moment, then turned to Happosai, walking through the story and ticking points off on her fingers as she went. "So, in other words, you were being chased by the police in all liklihood, snatched up Kasumi and in fact kidnapped her yourself, used her to mug innocent joggers in the park, and then presumably stole dinner and blew up some poor schmuck's okonomiyaki restaurant when he came after you for...."
Nabiki paused and exchanged looks with Ranma. He frowned. Those attacks had sounded awfully familiar. Actually, for that matter, so did the description of the guy fighting. Big, bearded, cooks okinomiyaki and uses ingredients as weapons...
"Uhh... that restaraunt, it didn't happen to say Kuonji on the sign, did it?"
Happosai frowned for a minute, then shrugged. "No idea. Though..." He nodded slightly and said, "Might have been. I think the name did start with a 'K'. How'd you know that? Have I told this one before?"
"Not that I recall," Nabiki said, eyeing him speculatively then looking off into the distance.
Ranma could almost see the yen signs spinning in her eyes and he poked her to get her attention. Leaning forward he whispered urgently, "Ukyo can never know. Never! Kasumi is going to get pulled into this somehow. She was there, you know it's going to happen."
Scowling, she appeared to resist the conclusion for a moment, then reluctantly nodded to him. Apparently discarding her earlier thoughts, she stood and said, "Ok. Since we have yet to find a reliable witness, we apparently need to go talk to Daddy about this."
"About what?"
Jumping, Nabiki scowled and said, "Why does everyone in this house move around like a mouse today!" Spinning, she pointed at Soun and asked bluntly, "What happened the first time Kasumi met Happosai?"
"The first time? When she ran away you mean?" Kasumi blushed at this and Soun stroked his mustache for a moment before replying further. "As I recall, she was a bit jealous of your arrival. It boiled over that day and she pinched you when you started crying, which had us sending her to her room. She then scared us half to death by vanishing, though we didn't realize it until later that day when we were supposed to pick her up from the pre-school next door. Kimiko thought I had dropped her off and I thought she had.
"We ran about the house looking for her hiding spot for awhile before one of us noticed the back gate had been left ajar. That expanded our search radius, but we didn't end up finding her until the following day. We eventually tracked her down with the assistance of the police to a park where she had been sighted. Much farther than we thought it possible for her to go, but it turned out she was with the Master.
"I think it was the only time I was ever grateful for him being around." Nabiki winced at this and stepped to the side, revealing Happosai behind her.
After Soun had recovered from the blow to the back of his head and groveled a bit, he continued with a cough. "As I was saying, the eternal gratitude I have for the Master has never been stronger than that moment. I've heard a few variations on what happened during the day or two that Kasumi was missing, but ultimately the Master prevented her from coming to harm.
"That is what really matters."
Nabiki frowned, then nodded reluctantly and Kasumi beamed at Happosai, eliciting smiles all around from everyone but Ranma. He instead frowned and protested, "We've been talking about this for like half an hour or more and I still don't know why Kasumi actually calls Happosai Grandfather though!"
The aforementioned Grand Master of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts cackled. "Easy enough-- I told her to call me that. Have you ever heard a two year old try to pronounce 'Sensei'? Granpa's much easier."
"And the running away with Kasumi when she was a block from the dojo?" Ranma asked dryly.
Happosai waved it away. "The boys never really talked about their home life while I was around till then. Didn't even know his kids' names."
Ranma sighed in defeat and said, "Fine, whatever. I admit you have a few redeeming qualities."
"Hotcha! I knew you'd come around, my boy. Let's celebrate with a nice hug!"
============================
"Alright, let's get things started!" Ranma woke with a start at the cackling voice and immediately found himself swinging slightly. Looking around, he realized that he was in the dojo and apparently dangling upside down from the ceiling wrapped in rope.
He struggled for a moment, which did nothing more than set him spinning, and then he saw Kasumi kneeling with a small lap desk in front of her and a woman in a business suit beside her. At Happosai's comment, she looked up and sighed in exasperation.
"Master Happosai, is the rope really necessary?"
"Yeah, what's the deal!" Ranma yelled, or tried anyway. It came out more like, "Yfhh, hffs shh ehhl" and at a considerably lower volume than he was attempting because he was apparently gagged as well as tied up. It had been nearly a week since they had broken into the old pervert's room, but he hadn't really been expecting the announcement of the contest to be done in quite this manner. The old geezer must still be pissed about the underwear Nabiki took back.
Happosai nodded seriously. "The boy's tricky, Michi, my girl. I'm sure Kasumi here has already told him about our little deal, since they're thick as thieves anymore, so he'll need to be in on it. Either that or I keep him out of the way for awhile."
Kasumi blushed at the implication she hadn't and nodded, which prompted the old man to walk over and pat her on the back. "No worries, dear. I never said you needed to keep it quiet. Would be kind of defeating the point in fact. The more the merrier!
"Though, that said, I've decided this is going to be on the up and up. And since Ranma here was trained by Genma, I assume he'll cheat like the dickens on your behalf." Ranma could not, in fact argue with this assessment, though he liked to think of it more as... strategic maneuvering.
"That's where Michi here comes in." Happosai grinned at the woman who looked to be perhaps ten years older than Kasumi, with pure black hair that appeared to have blonde roots for some reason. Possibly hair dye then? Ranma had never really run across someone who died their hair black. While pretty, she wasn't stunning like Shampoo or as vivacious as Akane. It was kind of understated, a little bit like Kasumi now that he thought about it.
"Yasuda Michi," the woman said as she bowed slightly from her position next to Kasumi, her smile measured and with something in it that reminded him of Nabiki. "I work as legal counsel for the Dai Ichi Kangyo Group."
Kasumi raised her hand to her mouth as it opened in surprise and she said, "Oh my. I've heard of them. Whatever are you doing here?"
Michi smiled at Kasumi and said, "I owe Master Happosai a favor and he has called it in to judge this little competition of yours. He helped me out of a... precarious position that I had gotten myself into when I was younger and couldn't quite see the way out of."
At the concern showing on Kasumi's face, the older woman reached over and placed a hand over her own. "I assure you, my discretion is completely assured. In addition to owing Happosai more than I could ever repay, he has also paid me a nominal sum to ensure I am representing him legally. I couldn't disclose the secrets in this room without being disbarred." Ranma grinned slightly around the gag-- he suspected that the expression the home maker had been showing was for the lawyer, not the possibility of her secret being leaked.
"Thank you." Kasumi nodded graciously. "I trust Grandfather and I am sure you will be a fair judge, though if truth be told, I am not sure what the contest will consist of just yet." Which was true, Ranma thought. They had assumptions, the scribbled notes Happosai had made on his rules, and an iron clad guarantee that whatever it was would involve under garments. This was Happosai after all.
Nodding slightly in response to that, Michi stood and said, "Well, why don't I let Happosai explain that and I can answer any questions on the contract that come out of it."
Contract? Ranma didn't like the sound of that and as he looked at the inch thick pile of paper sitting in front of Kasumi he could almost hear ominous music playing in the background. The last time he had seen a legal document even a tenth of that size was when debt collectors had caught up with his father threatening to take his house. Which was just dumb, since he and Genma were obviously itinerant martial artists and pretty much by definition didn't own their own house.
He shook his head to throw off the memory and paid closer attention to what was going on-- Happosai was going through the rules still. He'd need to check with Kasumi to see what he had missed, but he was currently talking through the fact that they couldn't use their existing collections in the contest. Ranma wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or not-- he was pretty sure Happosai was probably underestimating Kasumi since she didn't keep most of her collection in the house, per se, but they were also talking about Happosai. If he had enough money to hire an actual lawyer for this, he might well have warehouses of lingerie sitting around.
Though if they could pretend that Kasumi only had what was in the house, they were almost sure to wi--
"I don't know if I can show my collection off right now. It is rather late for a stroll around the neighborhood I think," Kasumi interjected into the discussion. "Perhaps tomorrow morning?"
--or they could just give that up. He was pretty sure that he had told Kasumi they should not, in fact, let Happosai know effectively she had built up her collection. Then again, it was a direct question. He hadn't really expected her to hold out against that.
The next bit talked through was not being allowed to add to their collections until their part of the contest started, which seemed odd. Maybe that had something to do with the part he had missed. Related to the time handicap that Happosai had mentioned in his notes perhaps?
He noticed that as they went through each "rule", Ms. Yasuda was having Kasumi and Happosai both initial and periodically sign in weird locations through the document. She seemed to be flipping back and forth so quickly he would have thought it was some odd speed training for martial arts lawyers.
Increasing his struggles in an attempt to get Kasumi's attention, he sighed as the only thing that happened was the lawyer looking up and nodding towards him genially. "Yes, this next part may involve you as well I believe."
Happosai grinned evilly at Ranma. "It's almost entirely aimed at you, my boy. With Genma's training, I assume you're going to try and cheat one way or another. Don't worry though, I don't want to end up winning by default, so I've left this rule pretty lenient. The only thing you can't do for her is liberate the panties yourself." Ranma blinked. That was it? He made an interogative sound, raising one eyebrow (lowering? He was upside down. He didn't suppose it really mattered though.)
At the confirmation by Happosai and Ms. Yasuda, he nodded slowly to himself. He wasn't really expecting that. He hadn't quite been able to make out this rule when they ransacked the old pervert's room, but it might mean that their plans for this contest changed. Plan A was still off the table, but their backup might not be needed with some modification. Plan B was less risky, but just having him take Kasumi to grab the panties and bras himself might actually be quicker. She definitely didn't have the skills to go on her own, but if he could openly help her out...
"Are you willing to sign then, Mr. Saotome?" He eyed the lawyer, but as he might have expected her expression didn't really tell him anything. Her voice still had that droning sense of inevitability it had while she was directing Kasumi to 'sign here' or 'initial there'. "You will also be agreeing to the general terms and conditions of the wager.
"That will include not interfering with the results or otherwise attempting to invalidate them other than the assistance that you extend to Miss Tendo."
Tossing his head, he glared at Happosai pointedly and Ms. Yasuda looked towards the old man and said, "Perhaps we could remove that gag at least?"
[[possibly extend this, but this isn't a terrible break point]]
...
By the time Ranma and Kasumi had escorted the lawyer to the gate, he wasn't sure if either of them knew exactly what they had signed. He was pretty sure he understood the contest though and it seemed simple enough. And it had either been sign or leave Kasumi in the lurch if he couldn't escape in time.
It boiled down to Kasumi and Happosai both collecting as many panties and bras as they could. Kasumi had a week and Happosai a night and it could only take place in Nerima. He was allowed to help the eldest Tendo daughter in almost any way, so long as he didn't actually touch the undergarments himself.
During the contest, Happosai had promised not to "rescue" his pretties. In fact, he had actively been refraining from collecting in Nerima for over a week now so that the area was primed for their contest. By which Ranma assumed he meant that all his previous victims would have replaced the lingerie he stole from them.
Looking back towards the house after the car that Ms. Yasuda had drove away in was out of sight, Ranma thought he saw Nabiki's curtains twitch and he wondered if he'd be getting another blackmail request soon. Their original deal still stood though, so hopefully not.
Happosai was gone by the time they made it back to the dojo, so he and Kasumi had it to themselves. Sitting across from each other, Ranma waited for Kasumi to take the lead. This was her decision, so she would choose how they approached the contest. They had identified enough from their earlier fact finding expedition that he thought they had discussed most of it.
Kasumi took a deep breath and let it out, her body stilling before she spoke. "Would you teach me to..." She trailed off as Ranma waved a brief acknowledgement.
"Not a problem, Kasumi." Looking around the dojo, he leaned forwards conspiratorily. "Look. We can't start till tomorrow night, but no reason we can't go practice now. Your Dad's asleep, right?"
"Father?" She looked thoughtful, then nodded. "Yes, he and Akane usually go to sleep fairly early. Nabiki stays up later I believe." Standing, she smoothed her skirts calmly, but her eyes twinkled and her lips twitched at the corners, betraying her excitement. "I'll be right back! I just need to get ready!"
Rushing out of the dojo, Ranma wondered what she was getting, but he didn't have to wait too long. No more than five minutes later, Kasumi re-entered the dojo and he had to stop himself from snickering and ruining her moment.
Kasumi was dressed head to toe in what had to be custom made clothing. Her usual dress had been replaced with baggy pants and an over-shirt that were wrapped tight around the ankles and wrists with cloth or at least looked that way. Both had a certain body to the material and cut that gave them a feminine appearance, though the tight turtleneck that she was wearing beneath the shirt probably did more to indicate her gender. That and the fact that the entire outfit was in shades of lilac and pink. The bows scattered across the outfit, including one at her back, didn't hurt either.
Ranma coughed politely to get a hold of himself and said, "Ahh, very nice, Kasumi."
Beaming, she twirled and said, "I've been working on it while you were at school. I didn't think I would have it done in time." Pulling a scarf out of the bag she had brought with her, she wrapped it around her neck loosely once or twice, then pulled her pony tail out of the loop of fabric.
"Ok, all set!"
Lips still twitching, Ranma said, "Alright. Just a minute and we'll get going." Eyeing the not precisely subtle outfit, Ranma thought they probably were not going to be able to walk the streets without grabbing a fair amount of unnecessary attention-- he slid the door open and the house and street outside seemed quiet though.
As he stepped out into the yard, Kasumi followed and he decided that if they were going to make it in anything approaching stealth or speed, they were going to have to go via the roofs. Pointing to the roof, he got the older girl's attention and asked, "You okay with going that way?"
"Umm... I suppose," she said, then started to say, "How do I--" before he scooped her up and then took a leap that had her sucking in a startled breath and her arms snaked around his neck in an almost painfully tight grip. As he ran easily across the roof of the building next door though, she quickly grew used to it though and her arms rested more comfortably.
Within a few minutes, he had landed on the rooftop he was aiming for and then dropped into the backyard soundlessly. Hopefully this would turn out better than the times he had tried to break into Akane's room.
As he set Kasumi down, she placed a hand on his shoulder to steady herself then took a step away, peering around curiously. "Mrs. Yamaguchi's house?" she asked, her head tilting slightly to the side as she looked towards what he assumed was the bedroom.
"Yeah, she's one of your customer's right?" She nodded in response and he said, "So I assume her, uh, panties and stuff count as part of your collection. If we take them, it isn't breaking the rules."
"How clever!" Kasumi clapped lightly and Ranma placed a hand behind his head, scratching lightly in embarassment before he turned to the back door of the house. Testing it briefly, he found it was unlocked and he shook his head slightly. This would probably be a good lesson for these people, it was almost like doing a good deed. He would have gotten in regardless, but you didn't leave your doors unlocked at night. That was just dangerous.
Indicating that they should be quiet, Ranma snuck into the house and tried to guide his erstwhile apprentice in as well. Ready to grab her and run if she made too much noise, he was surprised at how quiet she was. Maybe this wouldn't be too bad after all.
Following the direction Kasumi had accidentally indicated from outside, they quickly found the bedroom. Ranma placed a finger to his lips to indicate the need for complete quiet and gestured Kasumi inside after cracking the door. As he had expected, the woman they were burglaring was sleeping in the bed, so he stayed out and kept an eye on her through the door to minimize the noise inside the bedroom.
While it took longer than he expected, Kasumi eventually came out of the room and they made their way out of the house none the wiser. Demonstrating her haul by opening the bag, she asked, "Should we go to Ms. Tanageuchi's house next?"
Nodding, Ranma quickly picked up Kasumi and they repeated the process, then did so once more. Mr. and Mrs. Tanaka were out entirely apparently, so Ranma just came into the bedroom with Kasumi, not really concerned about being seen.
Watching Kasumi, he saw her keep the same stealthy pace that they had been using through the houses as she crept up on the dresser. He was a little confused when she began pulling the underwear out of the drawer one at a time though and particularly confused when she placed it on the ground rather than in her bag. He didn't want to interupt in the house, since there was still a kid somewhere around his age sleeping in the room next door.
When Kasumi had finished completely sorting the underwear, she finally placed it into the bag one at a time and he breathed a sigh of relief. When she then pulled out a pad of paper and started writing a note though, he couldn't help himself. "Kasumi!" he hissed.
"Yes?" She turned, a little flustered by the sudden sound apparently based on her widened eyes.
He lowered his voice further and stepped closer. "What are you doing?" He glanced down at the paper and almost groaned as he saw Kasumi's elegant caligraphy writing out a thank you note for letting them 'borrow' the undergarments and apologizing for intruding. Complete with a promise to return the stolen garments the next time they picked up a batch of their laundry.
"Writing a--" He held up a hand and just shook his head.
"Never mind, let's get going."
She frowned slightly, a look of concern more than displeasure, and said, "But I haven't finished--"
"I know, I know. Don't worry, I'll finish up." He cast around for an excuse and said, "Ahh, you need your sleep to be ready for tomorrow, right? Don't worry, I'll finish this up."
Bustling her out of the room as quietly as he could, he quickly rushed her back to the Tendo dojo. Dropping her off inside, he smiled, grabbed the bag she was holding and quickly pushed her back in. "I'll take care of this, you get some sleep," he said, a strained smile on his face.
Facing back out into the night after the door was closed, he slumped slightly and pulled the letter he had palmed out of the satchel Kasumi had been using. This was going to be a long night. He couldn't leave those letters in place though and he probably needed to put back the underwear too. He would need to explain to Kasumi tomorrow, but it was quite apparent she was not cut out for a life of larceny.
He had wondered about that story with Mrs. Yamaguchi and it had inspired his first choice for the house. Knowing Kasumi, she had probably had tea with the woman as she was taking them though and somehow convinced her that she was just stopping over to correct how she hung the laundry or something
Ranma blinked, listening to the story and glanced over at first Kasumi, who was nodding as if this was jogging memories for her and then Nabiki.
Nabiki met his gaze for a moment, then turned to Happosai, walking through the story and ticking points off on her fingers as she went. "So, in other words, you were being chased by the police in all liklihood, snatched up Kasumi and in fact kidnapped her yourself, used her to mug innocent joggers in the park, and then presumably stole dinner and blew up some poor schmuck's okonomiyaki restaurant when he came after you for...."
Nabiki paused and exchanged looks with Ranma. He frowned. Those attacks had sounded awfully familiar. Actually, for that matter, so did the description of the guy fighting. Big, bearded, cooks okinomiyaki and uses ingredients as weapons...
"Uhh... that restaraunt, it didn't happen to say Kuonji on the sign, did it?"
Happosai frowned for a minute, then shrugged. "No idea. Though..." He nodded slightly and said, "Might have been. I think the name did start with a 'K'. How'd you know that? Have I told this one before?"
"Not that I recall," Nabiki said, eyeing him speculatively then looking off into the distance.
Ranma could almost see the yen signs spinning in her eyes and he poked her to get her attention. Leaning forward he whispered urgently, "Ukyo can never know. Never! Kasumi is going to get pulled into this somehow. She was there, you know it's going to happen."
Scowling, she appeared to resist the conclusion for a moment, then reluctantly nodded to him. Apparently discarding her earlier thoughts, she stood and said, "Ok. Since we have yet to find a reliable witness, we apparently need to go talk to Daddy about this."
"About what?"
Jumping, Nabiki scowled and said, "Why does everyone in this house move around like a mouse today!" Spinning, she pointed at Soun and asked bluntly, "What happened the first time Kasumi met Happosai?"
"The first time? When she ran away you mean?" Kasumi blushed at this and Soun stroked his mustache for a moment before replying further. "As I recall, she was a bit jealous of your arrival. It boiled over that day and she pinched you when you started crying, which had us sending her to her room. She then scared us half to death by vanishing, though we didn't realize it until later that day when we were supposed to pick her up from the pre-school next door. Kimiko thought I had dropped her off and I thought she had.
"We ran about the house looking for her hiding spot for awhile before one of us noticed the back gate had been left ajar. That expanded our search radius, but we didn't end up finding her until the following day. We eventually tracked her down with the assistance of the police to a park where she had been sighted. Much farther than we thought it possible for her to go, but it turned out she was with the Master.
"I think it was the only time I was ever grateful for him being around." Nabiki winced at this and stepped to the side, revealing Happosai behind her.
After Soun had recovered from the blow to the back of his head and groveled a bit, he continued with a cough. "As I was saying, the eternal gratitude I have for the Master has never been stronger than that moment. I've heard a few variations on what happened during the day or two that Kasumi was missing, but ultimately the Master prevented her from coming to harm.
"That is what really matters."
Nabiki frowned, then nodded reluctantly and Kasumi beamed at Happosai, eliciting smiles all around from everyone but Ranma. He instead frowned and protested, "We've been talking about this for like half an hour or more and I still don't know why Kasumi actually calls Happosai Grandfather though!"
The aforementioned Grand Master of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts cackled. "Easy enough-- I told her to call me that. Have you ever heard a two year old try to pronounce 'Sensei'? Granpa's much easier."
"And the running away with Kasumi when she was a block from the dojo?" Ranma asked dryly.
Happosai waved it away. "The boys never really talked about their home life while I was around till then. Didn't even know his kids' names."
Ranma sighed in defeat and said, "Fine, whatever. I admit you have a few redeeming qualities."
"Hotcha! I knew you'd come around, my boy. Let's celebrate with a nice hug!"
============================
"Alright, let's get things started!" Ranma woke with a start at the cackling voice and immediately found himself swinging slightly. Looking around, he realized that he was in the dojo and apparently dangling upside down from the ceiling wrapped in rope.
He struggled for a moment, which did nothing more than set him spinning, and then he saw Kasumi kneeling with a small lap desk in front of her and a woman in a business suit beside her. At Happosai's comment, she looked up and sighed in exasperation.
"Master Happosai, is the rope really necessary?"
"Yeah, what's the deal!" Ranma yelled, or tried anyway. It came out more like, "Yfhh, hffs shh ehhl" and at a considerably lower volume than he was attempting because he was apparently gagged as well as tied up. It had been nearly a week since they had broken into the old pervert's room, but he hadn't really been expecting the announcement of the contest to be done in quite this manner. The old geezer must still be pissed about the underwear Nabiki took back.
Happosai nodded seriously. "The boy's tricky, Michi, my girl. I'm sure Kasumi here has already told him about our little deal, since they're thick as thieves anymore, so he'll need to be in on it. Either that or I keep him out of the way for awhile."
Kasumi blushed at the implication she hadn't and nodded, which prompted the old man to walk over and pat her on the back. "No worries, dear. I never said you needed to keep it quiet. Would be kind of defeating the point in fact. The more the merrier!
"Though, that said, I've decided this is going to be on the up and up. And since Ranma here was trained by Genma, I assume he'll cheat like the dickens on your behalf." Ranma could not, in fact argue with this assessment, though he liked to think of it more as... strategic maneuvering.
"That's where Michi here comes in." Happosai grinned at the woman who looked to be perhaps ten years older than Kasumi, with pure black hair that appeared to have blonde roots for some reason. Possibly hair dye then? Ranma had never really run across someone who died their hair black. While pretty, she wasn't stunning like Shampoo or as vivacious as Akane. It was kind of understated, a little bit like Kasumi now that he thought about it.
"Yasuda Michi," the woman said as she bowed slightly from her position next to Kasumi, her smile measured and with something in it that reminded him of Nabiki. "I work as legal counsel for the Dai Ichi Kangyo Group."
Kasumi raised her hand to her mouth as it opened in surprise and she said, "Oh my. I've heard of them. Whatever are you doing here?"
Michi smiled at Kasumi and said, "I owe Master Happosai a favor and he has called it in to judge this little competition of yours. He helped me out of a... precarious position that I had gotten myself into when I was younger and couldn't quite see the way out of."
At the concern showing on Kasumi's face, the older woman reached over and placed a hand over her own. "I assure you, my discretion is completely assured. In addition to owing Happosai more than I could ever repay, he has also paid me a nominal sum to ensure I am representing him legally. I couldn't disclose the secrets in this room without being disbarred." Ranma grinned slightly around the gag-- he suspected that the expression the home maker had been showing was for the lawyer, not the possibility of her secret being leaked.
"Thank you." Kasumi nodded graciously. "I trust Grandfather and I am sure you will be a fair judge, though if truth be told, I am not sure what the contest will consist of just yet." Which was true, Ranma thought. They had assumptions, the scribbled notes Happosai had made on his rules, and an iron clad guarantee that whatever it was would involve under garments. This was Happosai after all.
Nodding slightly in response to that, Michi stood and said, "Well, why don't I let Happosai explain that and I can answer any questions on the contract that come out of it."
Contract? Ranma didn't like the sound of that and as he looked at the inch thick pile of paper sitting in front of Kasumi he could almost hear ominous music playing in the background. The last time he had seen a legal document even a tenth of that size was when debt collectors had caught up with his father threatening to take his house. Which was just dumb, since he and Genma were obviously itinerant martial artists and pretty much by definition didn't own their own house.
He shook his head to throw off the memory and paid closer attention to what was going on-- Happosai was going through the rules still. He'd need to check with Kasumi to see what he had missed, but he was currently talking through the fact that they couldn't use their existing collections in the contest. Ranma wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or not-- he was pretty sure Happosai was probably underestimating Kasumi since she didn't keep most of her collection in the house, per se, but they were also talking about Happosai. If he had enough money to hire an actual lawyer for this, he might well have warehouses of lingerie sitting around.
Though if they could pretend that Kasumi only had what was in the house, they were almost sure to wi--
"I don't know if I can show my collection off right now. It is rather late for a stroll around the neighborhood I think," Kasumi interjected into the discussion. "Perhaps tomorrow morning?"
--or they could just give that up. He was pretty sure that he had told Kasumi they should not, in fact, let Happosai know effectively she had built up her collection. Then again, it was a direct question. He hadn't really expected her to hold out against that.
The next bit talked through was not being allowed to add to their collections until their part of the contest started, which seemed odd. Maybe that had something to do with the part he had missed. Related to the time handicap that Happosai had mentioned in his notes perhaps?
He noticed that as they went through each "rule", Ms. Yasuda was having Kasumi and Happosai both initial and periodically sign in weird locations through the document. She seemed to be flipping back and forth so quickly he would have thought it was some odd speed training for martial arts lawyers.
Increasing his struggles in an attempt to get Kasumi's attention, he sighed as the only thing that happened was the lawyer looking up and nodding towards him genially. "Yes, this next part may involve you as well I believe."
Happosai grinned evilly at Ranma. "It's almost entirely aimed at you, my boy. With Genma's training, I assume you're going to try and cheat one way or another. Don't worry though, I don't want to end up winning by default, so I've left this rule pretty lenient. The only thing you can't do for her is liberate the panties yourself." Ranma blinked. That was it? He made an interogative sound, raising one eyebrow (lowering? He was upside down. He didn't suppose it really mattered though.)
At the confirmation by Happosai and Ms. Yasuda, he nodded slowly to himself. He wasn't really expecting that. He hadn't quite been able to make out this rule when they ransacked the old pervert's room, but it might mean that their plans for this contest changed. Plan A was still off the table, but their backup might not be needed with some modification. Plan B was less risky, but just having him take Kasumi to grab the panties and bras himself might actually be quicker. She definitely didn't have the skills to go on her own, but if he could openly help her out...
"Are you willing to sign then, Mr. Saotome?" He eyed the lawyer, but as he might have expected her expression didn't really tell him anything. Her voice still had that droning sense of inevitability it had while she was directing Kasumi to 'sign here' or 'initial there'. "You will also be agreeing to the general terms and conditions of the wager.
"That will include not interfering with the results or otherwise attempting to invalidate them other than the assistance that you extend to Miss Tendo."
Tossing his head, he glared at Happosai pointedly and Ms. Yasuda looked towards the old man and said, "Perhaps we could remove that gag at least?"
[[possibly extend this, but this isn't a terrible break point]]
...
By the time Ranma and Kasumi had escorted the lawyer to the gate, he wasn't sure if either of them knew exactly what they had signed. He was pretty sure he understood the contest though and it seemed simple enough. And it had either been sign or leave Kasumi in the lurch if he couldn't escape in time.
It boiled down to Kasumi and Happosai both collecting as many panties and bras as they could. Kasumi had a week and Happosai a night and it could only take place in Nerima. He was allowed to help the eldest Tendo daughter in almost any way, so long as he didn't actually touch the undergarments himself.
During the contest, Happosai had promised not to "rescue" his pretties. In fact, he had actively been refraining from collecting in Nerima for over a week now so that the area was primed for their contest. By which Ranma assumed he meant that all his previous victims would have replaced the lingerie he stole from them.
Looking back towards the house after the car that Ms. Yasuda had drove away in was out of sight, Ranma thought he saw Nabiki's curtains twitch and he wondered if he'd be getting another blackmail request soon. Their original deal still stood though, so hopefully not.
Happosai was gone by the time they made it back to the dojo, so he and Kasumi had it to themselves. Sitting across from each other, Ranma waited for Kasumi to take the lead. This was her decision, so she would choose how they approached the contest. They had identified enough from their earlier fact finding expedition that he thought they had discussed most of it.
Kasumi took a deep breath and let it out, her body stilling before she spoke. "Would you teach me to..." She trailed off as Ranma waved a brief acknowledgement.
"Not a problem, Kasumi." Looking around the dojo, he leaned forwards conspiratorily. "Look. We can't start till tomorrow night, but no reason we can't go practice now. Your Dad's asleep, right?"
"Father?" She looked thoughtful, then nodded. "Yes, he and Akane usually go to sleep fairly early. Nabiki stays up later I believe." Standing, she smoothed her skirts calmly, but her eyes twinkled and her lips twitched at the corners, betraying her excitement. "I'll be right back! I just need to get ready!"
Rushing out of the dojo, Ranma wondered what she was getting, but he didn't have to wait too long. No more than five minutes later, Kasumi re-entered the dojo and he had to stop himself from snickering and ruining her moment.
Kasumi was dressed head to toe in what had to be custom made clothing. Her usual dress had been replaced with baggy pants and an over-shirt that were wrapped tight around the ankles and wrists with cloth or at least looked that way. Both had a certain body to the material and cut that gave them a feminine appearance, though the tight turtleneck that she was wearing beneath the shirt probably did more to indicate her gender. That and the fact that the entire outfit was in shades of lilac and pink. The bows scattered across the outfit, including one at her back, didn't hurt either.
Ranma coughed politely to get a hold of himself and said, "Ahh, very nice, Kasumi."
Beaming, she twirled and said, "I've been working on it while you were at school. I didn't think I would have it done in time." Pulling a scarf out of the bag she had brought with her, she wrapped it around her neck loosely once or twice, then pulled her pony tail out of the loop of fabric.
"Ok, all set!"
Lips still twitching, Ranma said, "Alright. Just a minute and we'll get going." Eyeing the not precisely subtle outfit, Ranma thought they probably were not going to be able to walk the streets without grabbing a fair amount of unnecessary attention-- he slid the door open and the house and street outside seemed quiet though.
As he stepped out into the yard, Kasumi followed and he decided that if they were going to make it in anything approaching stealth or speed, they were going to have to go via the roofs. Pointing to the roof, he got the older girl's attention and asked, "You okay with going that way?"
"Umm... I suppose," she said, then started to say, "How do I--" before he scooped her up and then took a leap that had her sucking in a startled breath and her arms snaked around his neck in an almost painfully tight grip. As he ran easily across the roof of the building next door though, she quickly grew used to it though and her arms rested more comfortably.
Within a few minutes, he had landed on the rooftop he was aiming for and then dropped into the backyard soundlessly. Hopefully this would turn out better than the times he had tried to break into Akane's room.
As he set Kasumi down, she placed a hand on his shoulder to steady herself then took a step away, peering around curiously. "Mrs. Yamaguchi's house?" she asked, her head tilting slightly to the side as she looked towards what he assumed was the bedroom.
"Yeah, she's one of your customer's right?" She nodded in response and he said, "So I assume her, uh, panties and stuff count as part of your collection. If we take them, it isn't breaking the rules."
"How clever!" Kasumi clapped lightly and Ranma placed a hand behind his head, scratching lightly in embarassment before he turned to the back door of the house. Testing it briefly, he found it was unlocked and he shook his head slightly. This would probably be a good lesson for these people, it was almost like doing a good deed. He would have gotten in regardless, but you didn't leave your doors unlocked at night. That was just dangerous.
Indicating that they should be quiet, Ranma snuck into the house and tried to guide his erstwhile apprentice in as well. Ready to grab her and run if she made too much noise, he was surprised at how quiet she was. Maybe this wouldn't be too bad after all.
Following the direction Kasumi had accidentally indicated from outside, they quickly found the bedroom. Ranma placed a finger to his lips to indicate the need for complete quiet and gestured Kasumi inside after cracking the door. As he had expected, the woman they were burglaring was sleeping in the bed, so he stayed out and kept an eye on her through the door to minimize the noise inside the bedroom.
While it took longer than he expected, Kasumi eventually came out of the room and they made their way out of the house none the wiser. Demonstrating her haul by opening the bag, she asked, "Should we go to Ms. Tanageuchi's house next?"
Nodding, Ranma quickly picked up Kasumi and they repeated the process, then did so once more. Mr. and Mrs. Tanaka were out entirely apparently, so Ranma just came into the bedroom with Kasumi, not really concerned about being seen.
Watching Kasumi, he saw her keep the same stealthy pace that they had been using through the houses as she crept up on the dresser. He was a little confused when she began pulling the underwear out of the drawer one at a time though and particularly confused when she placed it on the ground rather than in her bag. He didn't want to interupt in the house, since there was still a kid somewhere around his age sleeping in the room next door.
When Kasumi had finished completely sorting the underwear, she finally placed it into the bag one at a time and he breathed a sigh of relief. When she then pulled out a pad of paper and started writing a note though, he couldn't help himself. "Kasumi!" he hissed.
"Yes?" She turned, a little flustered by the sudden sound apparently based on her widened eyes.
He lowered his voice further and stepped closer. "What are you doing?" He glanced down at the paper and almost groaned as he saw Kasumi's elegant caligraphy writing out a thank you note for letting them 'borrow' the undergarments and apologizing for intruding. Complete with a promise to return the stolen garments the next time they picked up a batch of their laundry.
"Writing a--" He held up a hand and just shook his head.
"Never mind, let's get going."
She frowned slightly, a look of concern more than displeasure, and said, "But I haven't finished--"
"I know, I know. Don't worry, I'll finish up." He cast around for an excuse and said, "Ahh, you need your sleep to be ready for tomorrow, right? Don't worry, I'll finish this up."
Bustling her out of the room as quietly as he could, he quickly rushed her back to the Tendo dojo. Dropping her off inside, he smiled, grabbed the bag she was holding and quickly pushed her back in. "I'll take care of this, you get some sleep," he said, a strained smile on his face.
Facing back out into the night after the door was closed, he slumped slightly and pulled the letter he had palmed out of the satchel Kasumi had been using. This was going to be a long night. He couldn't leave those letters in place though and he probably needed to put back the underwear too. He would need to explain to Kasumi tomorrow, but it was quite apparent she was not cut out for a life of larceny.
He had wondered about that story with Mrs. Yamaguchi and it had inspired his first choice for the house. Knowing Kasumi, she had probably had tea with the woman as she was taking them though and somehow convinced her that she was just stopping over to correct how she hung the laundry or something
Thanks. That has been popular in the comments I've received.
Next section and only a few days to get the rest of this done when I would like. This bit starts to outline the strategy that Kasumi and Ranma will actually be using for the contest.
-------------------------------
Meeting with Kasumi in the kitchen the following morning, since it was earlier than most got up, Ranma found himself put to work fetching various items according to the cook's directions. With only a few hours sleep though, he soon found himself sympathizing with Akane after the eldest Tendo was forced to correct his choices. Picking up salt instead of sugar or teriyaki sauce instead of miso was surprisingly easy when you were muzzy and sleep deprived.
Eventually, he gave up and sat down at the table while Kasumi worked to just talk. He was not looking forward to his morning spar with Pops. After explaining to her that he had put back her 'silky friends' the previous day since it was just training, Ranma said, "So back to our original plan?"
Tilting her head, Kasumi said, "I thought we weren't allowed to do that?"
Ranma shrugged. "Ok, the second original plan. We pretty much assumed the first one would be a no go from the start, right?"
She nodded slightly and tested the soup, her hand cupping the ladel as she brought it up to her lips and sipped delicately, then moved on to fish. "Yesterday was very exciting though." Her eyes twinkled slightly and her voice displayed just a hint of dismay that they wouldn't be continuing.
"Well, yes, but it wasn't very fast. Happosai probably goes through a dozen houses in the same time it took us to do one."
"That is true..." She tapped her lips thoughtfully. "Perhaps if I wrote the notes out ahead of time?"
Ranma raised an eyebrow at Kasumi, not really wanting to move much. "You could not write one at all."
Kasumi's brow wrinkled and she shook her head. "That seems horribly rude, don't you think?" The rice cooker dinged and she moved over to it smoothly and began serving out individual portions.
"Well, yeah. That's kind of hard to avoid when you're takin' someone's stuff from their house, though, isn't it?"
Pausing in dishing out breakfast, the eldest Tendo hummed thoughtfully to herself before answering. "Mother used to say there was always time for manners."
"I don't know if that's right, but it's your call."
Resuming her meal preparations, Kasumi said, more to herself he thought, "I suppose it may go against my promise to Mother?"
He grinned to himself. "A bit."
"Well, I suppose we did talk this through earlier, but I've never gotten more than a few new clients in a week and we never figured that out." Dishing out the miso soup, she eyed the final result on the tray with satisfaction. Ranma was tempted to try and steal his now and dodge out before his old man woke up. He was sure Kasumi wouldn't mind too much.
Pushing himself up, Ranma pulled the flier they had created for ROSE KRIS out of his bag and held it up to Kasumi. "What if we did this?"
Kasumi's eyes widened and she clasped her hands in front of herself. "Ooh, is that one real?" He could almost see her salivating at the prospect-- well, not really, this was Kasumi and he couldn't actually see her drooling, but he imagined it was happening anyway.
He shook his head though. "Ahh, no. I meant ran a sale. You know, for your laundry service."
"Oh." The disappointment was there again, but she soldiered through. "Yes, that might work. I certainly jumped at that, though I suppose not everyone would."
"Why don't you think about it while I'm at school? Figure out how to sell it." And he would get some well-deserved sleep. He decided he was going to skip out on his Pops this morning, no reason not to head to school early and get an hour or two before Akane got there.
"I can do that." Kasumi nodded, her tone decisive and determined.
...
Heading out of the bathroom, Ranma yawned and stretched as he started back towards the classroom. Outside of dealing with Akane, who had apparently been late after waiting for him before school, his brief nap had more or less let him recover from the sleepless night. A small bump on the head where his uncute fiancee had decided to throw her math textbook at him while he was sleeping and before she was sent into the hall was a small price to pay.
He had apologized when she got in and she had reluctantly done the same, saying something about how she shouldn't discourage good behavior anyway. So he wasn't really expecting to be ambushed on his way back to class.
When he found himself pushed into a janitor's closet though, he had to rub his eyes briefly when he saw Nabiki almost on top of him. Maybe he was still dreaming?
"I want in, Saotome."
Nabiki poked him in the chest and he frowned at her. "In on what?" He rubbed the back of his neck and wished he woke up more quickly-- there was a reason his dad tended to throw him in a pond to get him up in the morning though.
"Whatever you're doing with Kasumi. I saw you last night."
Ranma groaned. "15 years and you notice now? I guess she has been sloppy with this whole contest thing going on." Wait. That probably wasn't...
"What? I'm talking about whatever you were doing with Yasuda Michi."
"Huh? Happosai's friend?" This was not going anywhere near where he had thought it was. So she wasn't talking about the weird ninja outfit Kasumi was wearing last night?
Nabiki's eyes widened and she actually gaped at him. "Happosai's what!?" Damnit.
Ranma shook his head and took a step back, then remembered he was in a closet when his back hit the wall. "Umm... why don't you tell me what we're talking about?"
"Oh no, you're not getting off that easy." Nabiki narrowed her eyes at him and then raised a hand, ticking off her points on her fingers. "In order of importance you're going to tell me about my introduction to Yasuda Michi, how in the world Happosai of all people knows her, my introduction to Yasuda Michi, what you meant by 15 years, my introduction to Yasuda Michi, and then 'this contest thing'."
Ranma gave Nabiki a sickly smile. He knew she hadn't missed that. Damnit. "I think you may have repeated yourself a few times there."
"It bears repeating. Do you have any idea what a contact like Mrs. Yasuda could do for my career?"
Ranma blinked, thinking back to the unprepossessing woman he had met last night. She hadn't really stood out that much to him, kind of pretty, but most of his fiancees were better looking. She had been kind of smart he supposed. "Uhh, no, not really. Kasumi said she recognized the place she worked for--umm, Dai Icha Icha or something. I take it it's a big deal?"
"She isn't working for a publisher of ninja smut in a fictional world, Ranma. It's Dai Ichi." She paused, then shook her head in disgust as Ranma continued to stare at her blankly. "As in the biggest conglomerate in Japan?"
Acknowledging her statement with a shrug, he said, "Ahh, right. Not sure I can tell you about something that hasn't happened though."
She smiled at him and a shiver ran up his back. It wasn't that different from the pleasant smile that Kasumi put on so frequently, how did she make it look so evil? "Which is why you're going to tell me about how you're going to make it happen instead."
"Right. I was afraid it was going to be something like that." He sighed. He suspected that no agreement was going to keep Nabiki off his back on this one. He had never seen her quite so... focused. And that was saying something.
Her smile morphed slightly as she presumably saw his statement as capitulating to her request. "So are you meeting her again? If so, when?"
He thought about it, then shrugged and told the truth. "Now?" Pushing the door open and leaning past her, he glanced at the hall clock and nodded. "Yeah, technically now."
While he and Kasumi had ideas for how to beat Happosai, Nabiki had already proven she knew more about how businesses worked and people's heads. He already more or less spilled the beans, so maybe they could actually pull her into this now.
"What?"
He grinned at her disconcerted expression and wondered if she thought he could really be in two places at once. She had referenced a certain manga not too long ago after all. He paused briefly and wondered if he could pull that off, then shook his head, dismissing it as unimportant and clarified. "Well, not me obviously, but Kasumi's meeting with her. Or should be."
Nabiki immediately jumped at him and he just barely caught the middle Tendo sister, holding her awkwardly and looking at her with disbelief.
"What?" His tone was flat and he stared down at Nabiki wondering if she had been replaced by a pod person. Or maybe Kodachi, though then she probably wouldn't be going on about corporate lawyers like they were celebrities.
Nabiki reached over and pushed the door open again, then glanced up at him and made a shooing gesture. "Well? Get going!"
"Now? We can't just skip school!"
She shook her head and tsked at him. "Of course we can, you do it all the time for your stupid fights."
Ranma glowered at her and considered just dropping her on her butt, despite what she might do to him in retaliation. "What makes you think I'm going to carry you there anyway?" If he could even find Kasumi. He knew a few of the houses she would presumably be taking Happosai and Michi past, but for all he knew they could already be done with it.
"What's the big deal, you do it for Akane all the time." She batted her eyelashes at him ridiculously and draped her arms around him like her sister usually did. Both of them, now that he thought about it.
"That's different!" he protested, completely uncomfortable with the direction this conversation was heading.
"Oh?" Nabiki's eyes gleamed and he looked at her apprehensively. What had he said? "What interesting news. Shall I adjust my betting pool on when you two are hooking up?"
"No! Why would, it's not--" Ranma spluttered. He should have known this wasn't going to end well. His conversations with Nabiki never did. "Fine, screw it, it doesn't matter. This is between us though. And you owe me."
"More secrets? How mysterious." She batted her eyes at him again, cooing in appreciation.
Ranma glared.
Laughing, she unlaced her arms from around his neck, satisfying herself with a slight hold on his shirt, and stopped making absurd faces at him. "Fine, fine. Whatever it takes, let's just go before we miss her."
"Whatever." Ranma adjusted the middle Tendo sister briefly so she was a bit less of a dead weight then leaned out of the closet, looking both ways before he stepped out. No one there thankfully. He just knew this was going to get out though. There was no way his luck held out for something that looked as incriminating as this.
Finding an open window, Ranma jumped out and started running when he hit the ground.
"Oh, Ranma? I haven't forgotten about the other information you owe me either."
Ranma groaned.
...
Next section and only a few days to get the rest of this done when I would like. This bit starts to outline the strategy that Kasumi and Ranma will actually be using for the contest.
-------------------------------
Meeting with Kasumi in the kitchen the following morning, since it was earlier than most got up, Ranma found himself put to work fetching various items according to the cook's directions. With only a few hours sleep though, he soon found himself sympathizing with Akane after the eldest Tendo was forced to correct his choices. Picking up salt instead of sugar or teriyaki sauce instead of miso was surprisingly easy when you were muzzy and sleep deprived.
Eventually, he gave up and sat down at the table while Kasumi worked to just talk. He was not looking forward to his morning spar with Pops. After explaining to her that he had put back her 'silky friends' the previous day since it was just training, Ranma said, "So back to our original plan?"
Tilting her head, Kasumi said, "I thought we weren't allowed to do that?"
Ranma shrugged. "Ok, the second original plan. We pretty much assumed the first one would be a no go from the start, right?"
She nodded slightly and tested the soup, her hand cupping the ladel as she brought it up to her lips and sipped delicately, then moved on to fish. "Yesterday was very exciting though." Her eyes twinkled slightly and her voice displayed just a hint of dismay that they wouldn't be continuing.
"Well, yes, but it wasn't very fast. Happosai probably goes through a dozen houses in the same time it took us to do one."
"That is true..." She tapped her lips thoughtfully. "Perhaps if I wrote the notes out ahead of time?"
Ranma raised an eyebrow at Kasumi, not really wanting to move much. "You could not write one at all."
Kasumi's brow wrinkled and she shook her head. "That seems horribly rude, don't you think?" The rice cooker dinged and she moved over to it smoothly and began serving out individual portions.
"Well, yeah. That's kind of hard to avoid when you're takin' someone's stuff from their house, though, isn't it?"
Pausing in dishing out breakfast, the eldest Tendo hummed thoughtfully to herself before answering. "Mother used to say there was always time for manners."
"I don't know if that's right, but it's your call."
Resuming her meal preparations, Kasumi said, more to herself he thought, "I suppose it may go against my promise to Mother?"
He grinned to himself. "A bit."
"Well, I suppose we did talk this through earlier, but I've never gotten more than a few new clients in a week and we never figured that out." Dishing out the miso soup, she eyed the final result on the tray with satisfaction. Ranma was tempted to try and steal his now and dodge out before his old man woke up. He was sure Kasumi wouldn't mind too much.
Pushing himself up, Ranma pulled the flier they had created for ROSE KRIS out of his bag and held it up to Kasumi. "What if we did this?"
Kasumi's eyes widened and she clasped her hands in front of herself. "Ooh, is that one real?" He could almost see her salivating at the prospect-- well, not really, this was Kasumi and he couldn't actually see her drooling, but he imagined it was happening anyway.
He shook his head though. "Ahh, no. I meant ran a sale. You know, for your laundry service."
"Oh." The disappointment was there again, but she soldiered through. "Yes, that might work. I certainly jumped at that, though I suppose not everyone would."
"Why don't you think about it while I'm at school? Figure out how to sell it." And he would get some well-deserved sleep. He decided he was going to skip out on his Pops this morning, no reason not to head to school early and get an hour or two before Akane got there.
"I can do that." Kasumi nodded, her tone decisive and determined.
...
Heading out of the bathroom, Ranma yawned and stretched as he started back towards the classroom. Outside of dealing with Akane, who had apparently been late after waiting for him before school, his brief nap had more or less let him recover from the sleepless night. A small bump on the head where his uncute fiancee had decided to throw her math textbook at him while he was sleeping and before she was sent into the hall was a small price to pay.
He had apologized when she got in and she had reluctantly done the same, saying something about how she shouldn't discourage good behavior anyway. So he wasn't really expecting to be ambushed on his way back to class.
When he found himself pushed into a janitor's closet though, he had to rub his eyes briefly when he saw Nabiki almost on top of him. Maybe he was still dreaming?
"I want in, Saotome."
Nabiki poked him in the chest and he frowned at her. "In on what?" He rubbed the back of his neck and wished he woke up more quickly-- there was a reason his dad tended to throw him in a pond to get him up in the morning though.
"Whatever you're doing with Kasumi. I saw you last night."
Ranma groaned. "15 years and you notice now? I guess she has been sloppy with this whole contest thing going on." Wait. That probably wasn't...
"What? I'm talking about whatever you were doing with Yasuda Michi."
"Huh? Happosai's friend?" This was not going anywhere near where he had thought it was. So she wasn't talking about the weird ninja outfit Kasumi was wearing last night?
Nabiki's eyes widened and she actually gaped at him. "Happosai's what!?" Damnit.
Ranma shook his head and took a step back, then remembered he was in a closet when his back hit the wall. "Umm... why don't you tell me what we're talking about?"
"Oh no, you're not getting off that easy." Nabiki narrowed her eyes at him and then raised a hand, ticking off her points on her fingers. "In order of importance you're going to tell me about my introduction to Yasuda Michi, how in the world Happosai of all people knows her, my introduction to Yasuda Michi, what you meant by 15 years, my introduction to Yasuda Michi, and then 'this contest thing'."
Ranma gave Nabiki a sickly smile. He knew she hadn't missed that. Damnit. "I think you may have repeated yourself a few times there."
"It bears repeating. Do you have any idea what a contact like Mrs. Yasuda could do for my career?"
Ranma blinked, thinking back to the unprepossessing woman he had met last night. She hadn't really stood out that much to him, kind of pretty, but most of his fiancees were better looking. She had been kind of smart he supposed. "Uhh, no, not really. Kasumi said she recognized the place she worked for--umm, Dai Icha Icha or something. I take it it's a big deal?"
"She isn't working for a publisher of ninja smut in a fictional world, Ranma. It's Dai Ichi." She paused, then shook her head in disgust as Ranma continued to stare at her blankly. "As in the biggest conglomerate in Japan?"
Acknowledging her statement with a shrug, he said, "Ahh, right. Not sure I can tell you about something that hasn't happened though."
She smiled at him and a shiver ran up his back. It wasn't that different from the pleasant smile that Kasumi put on so frequently, how did she make it look so evil? "Which is why you're going to tell me about how you're going to make it happen instead."
"Right. I was afraid it was going to be something like that." He sighed. He suspected that no agreement was going to keep Nabiki off his back on this one. He had never seen her quite so... focused. And that was saying something.
Her smile morphed slightly as she presumably saw his statement as capitulating to her request. "So are you meeting her again? If so, when?"
He thought about it, then shrugged and told the truth. "Now?" Pushing the door open and leaning past her, he glanced at the hall clock and nodded. "Yeah, technically now."
While he and Kasumi had ideas for how to beat Happosai, Nabiki had already proven she knew more about how businesses worked and people's heads. He already more or less spilled the beans, so maybe they could actually pull her into this now.
"What?"
He grinned at her disconcerted expression and wondered if she thought he could really be in two places at once. She had referenced a certain manga not too long ago after all. He paused briefly and wondered if he could pull that off, then shook his head, dismissing it as unimportant and clarified. "Well, not me obviously, but Kasumi's meeting with her. Or should be."
Nabiki immediately jumped at him and he just barely caught the middle Tendo sister, holding her awkwardly and looking at her with disbelief.
"What?" His tone was flat and he stared down at Nabiki wondering if she had been replaced by a pod person. Or maybe Kodachi, though then she probably wouldn't be going on about corporate lawyers like they were celebrities.
Nabiki reached over and pushed the door open again, then glanced up at him and made a shooing gesture. "Well? Get going!"
"Now? We can't just skip school!"
She shook her head and tsked at him. "Of course we can, you do it all the time for your stupid fights."
Ranma glowered at her and considered just dropping her on her butt, despite what she might do to him in retaliation. "What makes you think I'm going to carry you there anyway?" If he could even find Kasumi. He knew a few of the houses she would presumably be taking Happosai and Michi past, but for all he knew they could already be done with it.
"What's the big deal, you do it for Akane all the time." She batted her eyelashes at him ridiculously and draped her arms around him like her sister usually did. Both of them, now that he thought about it.
"That's different!" he protested, completely uncomfortable with the direction this conversation was heading.
"Oh?" Nabiki's eyes gleamed and he looked at her apprehensively. What had he said? "What interesting news. Shall I adjust my betting pool on when you two are hooking up?"
"No! Why would, it's not--" Ranma spluttered. He should have known this wasn't going to end well. His conversations with Nabiki never did. "Fine, screw it, it doesn't matter. This is between us though. And you owe me."
"More secrets? How mysterious." She batted her eyes at him again, cooing in appreciation.
Ranma glared.
Laughing, she unlaced her arms from around his neck, satisfying herself with a slight hold on his shirt, and stopped making absurd faces at him. "Fine, fine. Whatever it takes, let's just go before we miss her."
"Whatever." Ranma adjusted the middle Tendo sister briefly so she was a bit less of a dead weight then leaned out of the closet, looking both ways before he stepped out. No one there thankfully. He just knew this was going to get out though. There was no way his luck held out for something that looked as incriminating as this.
Finding an open window, Ranma jumped out and started running when he hit the ground.
"Oh, Ranma? I haven't forgotten about the other information you owe me either."
Ranma groaned.
...
That bit at the end, with Nabiki convincing Ranma she wants in, even though she does not even fully know what is occurring, was hilarious.
And that impulsiveness reminds me of a fanfic done years ago, where she was convincing Ranma she wanted to work for him, and the best position no matter what, and would not even give him the time to explain what exactly it entailed... then after she insisted she would not back down no matter what, he explained to her she just agreed to be his concubine.
And that impulsiveness reminds me of a fanfic done years ago, where she was convincing Ranma she wanted to work for him, and the best position no matter what, and would not even give him the time to explain what exactly it entailed... then after she insisted she would not back down no matter what, he explained to her she just agreed to be his concubine.
Thanks-- I got a few comments about Nabiki being a bit too aggressive and fanon there, but I liked the section over all. I suspect she will regret her agreement to keep things quiet too. Though possibly not as much as being made into someone's concubine.
Thanks. Appreciate the error capture as always.
Thanks. Appreciate the error capture as always.
Closing in on the end... probably only one more post after this to finish up Chapter 5. Still shooting for tomorrow to complete it, so that may come later tonight.
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"Ranma?" Kasumi appeared confused as he walked out of a nearby alley. When her sister did the same though, her eyes widened and the confusion in her voice took on a slight edge that was probably only audible to those who knew her well. "Nabiki!?"
"Uhh, I can explain, Kasumi." He just wasn't particularly looking forward to it. In fact, he wasn't even sure where to begin. He and Nabiki had seen the trio they were confronting now in the distance and she had asked him to set her down out of sight. "You see, Nabiki saw us with Ms. Yasuda last night and wanted to--"
The girl he had just mentioned stepped forward smoothly and took over. "Introduce herself. A pleasure Ms. Yasuda. My name is Nabiki Tendo, I'm Kasumi's younger sister."
"A pleasure to meet you, Miss Tendo." Michi seemed slightly bemused.
Nabiki smiled genially and bowed. "The pleasure is all mine. I felt I needed to introduce myself when I noticed you yesterday.
"I hope it isn't presumptuous, but I have actually followed your career for some time. You are something of a role model to me-- while it is becoming more common, there aren't many women who have been as successful in business as you have."
Waving off the compliment, though she seemed pleased, Michi said, "At least partially an accident of birth I'm afraid. I am always glad to hear of young women who are aiming to get into business though and don't intend to let the challenges stand in their way.
"Are you out of school today for some reason?"
Nabiki nodded briefly and said, "I am and I decided I should be here. It's important after all." A true statement more or less, Ranma admitted to himself, even if the 'reason' was that she was skipping school solely for this meeting. He wondered absently how the lawyer was taking the statement given the reason for this little tour of the neighborhood.
Looking towards Happosai, Ms. Yasuda raised an eyebrow. When he just shrugged she turned back to Nabiki and nodded slightly. "I see. Such an interesting family."
Looking at Nabiki's pleased expression as she and the old pervert's lawyer friend exchanged small talk, Ranma couldn't really let this go on as it was-- they were going to get to something more substantial eventually and start talking about why they were here. Nabiki had annoyed him and taken advantage a lot, but it wasn't really malicious enough that he wanted to sabotage her chances after college or whatever she was aiming to do. Plus, the longer he let this go on the more likely someone was to just come out right and say what was going on with Kasumi in front of her.
He wasn't really sure how to get across to Michi that she didn't know without telling her that Nabiki was lying through her teeth though. He hadn't really thought this through very well when he brought her-- he had hoped to have time to talk with Kasumi before her sister came out.
Actually, that wasn't a bad idea. She was a fair bit away from the pair. Sidling up beside the eldest Tendo sister, he leaned over and whispered, "Nabiki doesn't actually know, but I'm not sure how long that that's going to last."
"Oh my, so she is..." Kasumi glanced over at the pair.
He nodded.
A snap from just behind the two caused Ranma and Kasumi to look behind themselves and they saw Happosai pouting. "So you didn't pass on your skills, Kasumi? I had such high hopes when I saw little Nabiki here."
"Too bad, you've only corr--" The younger martial artist coughed slightly and looked over at Happosai's 'true disciple'. The usual 'banter' between himself and Happosai was a lot more difficult when he had to worry about hurting Kasumi's feelings. "--passed on your, ahh, past times to one Tendo."
The old letch grinned at Ranma's obvious difficulty in word choice. "You're coming along, my boy. You'll appreciate the benefits of a fine brassiere in no time at all." He slapped him on the back and Ranma bared his teeth at him in something that might be interpreted as a smile by Kasumi. And probably only Kasumi. "So you don't want Nabiki finding out? Well, we can take care of that."
Vanishing abruptly, Happosai appeared on the middle Tendo sister's shoulder abruptly, causing her to stiffen and slap a hand to just below her breasts-- Ranma assumed checking on the bra she was wearing. While she was letting out a sigh of relief, the old man said or rather whined, "Let's get going! We have a deadline you know."
Blinking, Michi looked at him and Ranma saw her mouth open to ask about it, only to close as Happosai began to gesture wildly behind Nabiki's head. Pointing to Kasumi, then Nabiki, shaking his head-- all while apparently not moving enough to even make Nabiki suspect his actions. It wasn't exactly subtle, but it apparently got the job done because the lawyer said, "Thank you for the reminder. I do need to get back to the office soon.
"Shall we continue the client inventory?"
Ranma and Kasumi blinked, then exchanged looks and turned back to Michi with wide eyes. When the lawyer saw their reaction, she just smiled secretively and turned to Nabiki with an explanation. "I'm not certain if Ranma and Kasumi provided all of the details, but we're actually considering investing in the Anything Goes Laundry Service as part of a small business outreach program for Dai Ichi."
Nabiki simply nodded. "I hadn't received many of the details yet, it's true. Please go on." He had to admire her poker face really, he couldn't even detect a hint of surprise. Then again Ms. Yasuda had to know that she was bluffing at this point, even if she didn't know and the lawyer wasn't showing a hint of that either. Hopefully being lied to well was offsetting the fact that she was lying in the first place.
They began walking as Michi started spinning what had to be a completely fabricated story about a trial period over the next week where her corporation would be monitoring the business to see how well it was run. Nabiki actually chimed in with surprisingly knowledgeable questions about weird things like sales targets and profit margins that sounded like she was actually familiar with the business. Ranma was really starting to wonder himself if that was what this entire thing had been about by the time the walk through the neighborhood ended. A glance over at Kasumi who seemed as bewildered as he was made that unlikely though.
...
When Ms. Yasuda had left in her car again, Nabiki spun around and pointed an accusatory finger at Kasumi. "I'm disappointed in you, big sister."
Kasumi blinked, eyes peering at the finger that was almost in her face and her sister continued uninterupted. "You promised to let me know when something important happened with your business. Now we have almost no time at all to plan for this. This is an amazing opportunity!"
"Sorry?" The older Tendo sister tilted her head slightly and said mildly, "Though I can say that I was just as surprised as you really. We just met Ms. Yasuda yesterday when Happosai introduced her and I found out about this trial today." Capturing the hand that Nabiki had pointing at her in her own, she smiled at her sister. "Truly, I would like your help though. I don't know what I would do without your assistance on the bills and such."
Deflating and then returning her sister's smile, Nabiki said, "Well, I suppose it worked out alright." Her smile then broadened and that predatory gleam reappeared as she asked, "Did you hear what Ms. Yasuda said about our tax filings? I didn't even need to bring it up!" Kasumi nodded encouragingly and Ranma tuned out the resulting conversation, which seemed to primarily revolve around Nabiki getting excited about some aspect of business trivia that he suspected her sister didn't particularly understand and said sister responding with gentle approval and appreciation.
Happosai vanished somewhere on the way back to the Tendo dojo and when they reached the house, Nabiki rushed off for the stairs immediately, saying something about checking on the balance sheets or something like that. He assumed she was responsible for the linens sometimes-- they couldn't be messed up that badly, even if he'd never seen her helping out in the past.
He and Kasumi on the other hand headed for the family room after checking to see if Genma and Soun were around. When it turned out they weren't, he collapsed onto the floor and the home maker knelt on one of the pillows.
Looking over at her, he asked, "So, uh... did you find it ominous that Happosai and Ms. Yasuda apparently know all about your business?" It had been a little creepy honestly-- he hadn't paid a lot of attention to the conversation, but it had sounded like the lawyer knew more about it then he did after one day. Admittedly, that wasn't saying much given that he pretty much just knew it existed.
Tapping her lips thoughtfully, she nodded. "I suppose I don't really hide it. I was not expecting that though."
"Do you think it will be an issue?"
"I don't know," she admitted as she leaned back. "Grandfather is very good at this obviously. I don't think he will interfere though. So maybe it won't be a problem?" She sounded optimistic, but then again, Kasumi almost always did. He didn't really see what Happosai could do with the knowledge though.
Shrugging, he turned to the bigger problem. "So did you figure out what kind of sale you could run to encourage people to show up this week?"
"I was thinking maybe offering my services for free." She paused and glanced upwards, where Nabiki would presumably be in her room. "I am not certain that Nabiki would agree with that though."
He nodded slightly. They had been talking about making money during the week he thought in the cover that the lawyer had created for Kasumi. He supposed giving things away didn't really do that.
"I did have one other thought," Kasumi said hesitantly. "It just seems a little... unfair?" The question seemed to be more for herself than him. "And possibly a little deceitful."
"What is it?" Ranma didn't say that both of those things sounded like just what they needed, but he sat up so he could show his support.
"I think that just as I wouldn't take Grandfather's collection, he wouldn't take mine." Kasumi played with the hair tie she used, twisting it around her hair after pulling it over her shoulder. "So it seems... well, if someone gives their s- their panties, bras, and lingerie to me, well then they won't need to worry about Grandfather taking them."
She glanced at Ranma and he nodded approvingly a grin starting to form as he saw where she was going with this. Reassured, she continued, "And since I am willing to let them borrow them perhaps they would prefer if they were in my collection? It does seem a little dishonest though, since they are still donating their collection to me instead of Grandfather."
"Happosai proofing!" Ranma winced at how loud he was there and lowered his voice, though he continued to grin wildly. This would drive the gnome nuts. It would be amazing. "That's brilliant Kasumi. I bet--"
Nabiki suddenly slid around the corner, almost falling, and ran in to drop to her knees next to Kasumi. Grabbing her sister's hands, she held them up between her and peered deep into her eyes. "Is it true?" The older girl blinked and looked between Ranma and her sister.
"Is what true?"
"Can you actually stop Happosai from stealing panties?" Nabiki's tone was urgent, her voice higher than usual and her breathing wild. "I heard 'Happosai proofing'. If there is a way to do that we'll make a fortune. We'll be a lock for that investment!"
"I... think so," Kasumi replied. "He doesn't take all of yours, does he?"
Nabiki's expression soured, but she grew thoughtful a moment later. "No, he doesn't actually. Just my new ones, the first time I've worn them and those he has already stolen before." Her expression twisted again and she said, "And maybe a couple times while I'm wearing them where they've turned up in the laundry later. I just assumed you took those back from him then though."
Her eyes positively shining with an unholy mixture of greed and wonder, she asked, "How do you do it? Can we just sell it on its own? Is it like the girl away?"
Kasumi's eyes widened ever so slightly and she looked to Ranma in the closet thing she had to panic. He grimaced and shrugged, at a loss himself, but then had a thought. "I've seen her do it-- it's kind of involved and I don't think you could actually sell it to someone, Nabiki."
Glancing back at him, Nabiki narrowed her eyes. "How would you-- oh, wait, you've been hanging around her while she does the chores."
"Hey! I help!"
She waved away his protest. "Yes, yes, so you say." Expression turning calculating, the mercenary girl appeared to be lost in thought for a few minutes and shushed him any time he started to say something. Kasumi seemed happy enough to wait and her patience was finally rewarded.
"So here's what I think we do..."
...
Kasumi and Ranma had another expedition that night at her insistence and were able to 'solicit donations' from two houses on the far side of Nerima with none the wiser, expecting that they would get more people closer to the Tendo Dojo with their Anything Goes Laundry gambit.
He had at least gotten Kasumi to stop signing the notes that she left, but she was a little shaken by it and he wasn't sure whether the excitement or the guilt would determine whether they went again tomorrow night.
Ranma was entertained while they traveled by a description of the conversation that Kasumi and Happosai had while escorting Michi around the neighborhood that morning. Apparently they had been debating the merits of "Trophy" panty hunting versus "Catch and Release". Although it wasn't so much a debate as Kasumi explaining her philosophy to Happosai and then the pair enthusiastically talking about the merits of both based on what the pig-tailed martial artist understood from her description.
While they were out, they also put out the fliers that Nabiki had spent the afternoon feverishly working on describing the "revolutionary new process" that protected panties, bras, gym shorts, lingerie, and many other delicates from perverts far and wide.
The following day, he and Nabiki went to school as normal and then rushed home together afterwards, prompting shouted questions from Akane that he figured he would need to answer eventually. When they reached the dojo though, the line of women dropping off laundry that they had been hoping to see wasn't present.
"So we did get some at least," Nabiki prompted her sister.
Kasumi nodded excitedly and said, "More stopped by with their collections than usual and they seemed quite excited about being proactive." She took them to the laundry room where there was a moderate pile of laundry, the vast majority of which was women's undergarments. Kasumi's eyes positively shone as she took in the variety of delicate, sheer, and lacy fabrics.
Nabiki gave Kasumi an odd look at the wording, but she ultimately started frowning, since all told it was only a couple batches of laundry. Ranma wasn't terribly impressed either. It was probably less than Happosai typically fit in his bag on one of his regular runs.
"I don't understand why we got such a poor showing," the middle Tendo sister mused as they left the room. "It's only the first day, but I saw the fliers. We should have had more people than this." She began pacing when they reached the family room and Ranma and Kasumi moved to one side to watch her and ocassionaly try to contribute thoughts-- when she rushed out muttering about "marketing research" though, he through up his arms in frustration.
Turning to Kasumi, he asked, "Is this really the time to go look at groceries?" He supposed he should give Nabiki the benefit of the doubt, but they were kind of on a timeline here.
"Perhaps there's a stall with lingerie?" Kasumi brightened and said, "I'll need to ask her about it when she returns. In the meantime, I really should take care of my collection."
While she did that, Ranma decided that he really needed to get some training in or his old man was going to get on his back. Running around Nerima carrying women that were taller than he was wasn't bad for that, but it was really just endurance training when it came down to it.
Both of them had finished up after a few hours and just managed to finish dinner in time. Nabiki was still absent, but came in during the middle of the meal and sat down. Akane gave her an odd look, since she was breathing rather hard and had a definite glow about her that indicated exercise. She didn't say anything though when Nabiki just lifted a sardonic eyebrow inviting questions.
Soun was his usual self during the meal, but Ranma thought his dad was acting kind of strange. More shifty than usual and he kept looking between him and Kasumi. Ranma was able to steal a good third of his dinner before he noticed and the old man never quite caught up.
When dinner finally ended Nabiki gave both him and Kasumi significant looks and then went upstairs. Assuming she wanted them to follow, he and Kasumi handed off clearing the dishes to Akane and trailed after her. After they had ended up in Nabiki's room, she stood up and then spun to face them.
"We have a problem."
"Ok..." Ranma waited and Nabiki continued a moment later.
Taking a deep breath, she said, "It took a little while to find out why our fliers hadn't attracted more attention, but I was finally able to confirm it this afternoon by taking some of my friends to ask around with me.
"Our problem is that Happosai has stopped stealing panties."
Ranma burst out laughing. "Come on, Nabiki. You can't be serious. The twisted little gnome can't go three minutes without latching on to some girl."
"I'm serious." Nabiki pulled out a little black book and flipped it open. "We didn't cover the whole of Nerima, but the only rumor of a panty thief that has shown up in the past two weeks or so was a couple of women living alone on the other side of the district. They were apparently robbed in the middle of the night.
"It's not really Happosai's MO though-- he wasn't seen and there was apparently a strangely polite note apologizing for the crime too and encouraging the women to take better care of their undergarments going forward. The language was admittedly pretty similar to what Happosai uses, but he gets off on the chase."
Ranma frowned at that and Kasumi was looking distinctly guilty, which he hoped that Nabiki didn't notice. He spoke up to ensure the short-haired brunette focused on him. "I'm sure I've seen him come in with the standard bag of panties though."
Nabiki shrugged. "It's not from Nerima in that case." Taking a deep breath, she closed the notebook and plopped down on the bed. "Here's the thing that brought it home for me. Or maybe made me suspect in the first place. Happosai didn't steal my bra yesterday."
Blinking, the pig-tailed martial artist said, "So? That's the idea, right?"
"It was new-- and it was this one." Nabiki reached down and pulled a couple pieces of shiny fabric off the ground, causing Kasumi to tsk in disapproval. That turned into a coo of delight when Nabiki showed off the matching lingerie. Ranma's cheeks pinked and he turned his gaze aside as the two exchanged brief compliments and comments on the undergarments.
"Ahh, yeah. That would do it."
Turning back after Kasumi had confiscated the bra and panty, he looked at Nabiki and asked, "So just because Happosai hasn't been around for a week or two people assume he's stopped for good?"
"Sort of," Nabiki said. "It's more like 'out of sight, out of mind'. People have short memories as a rule."
"What do we do then?" Kasumi asked. "Do we try something else?"
Nabiki shook her head and a small smile graced her lips, her eyes half-lidded and lazy. Ranma felt a shiver run up his spine as she turned her gaze on him and said, "No, I think I have a plan."
...
"This is a terrible idea." Ranma had said this many times so far, but it merited another attempt. She was currently dressed in Kasumi's ninja outfit, quickly hemmed and altered to fit her form in something approaching the way it had lay on the eldest Tendo daughter. Kasumi and Nabiki were currently discussing something in low tones on the other side of Kasumi's room that likely didn't bode well for her.
Turning at his statement, Nabiki asked, "Well, you could always go out as yourself."
"No!" Panicking at the thought of what Akane would do to her if she found out she was about do do what they had planned, Ranma shivered and hugged herself.
"Perhaps you have another idea you haven't shared then?"
"No." Ranma's tone was glum now and she sighed, but resolved to just keep quiet for now. Looking on the bright side, if Happosai was anything to judge by this should be an absolutely amazing training experience.
"I didn't think so." Nabiki walked over and patted him on the head consolingly and Kasumi came over and put her arms around him, giving him a hug that did a lot to express her gratitude and regret.
"So, you know the plan then. This is the last piece that we came up with to try and hide your identity." She held up a black wig with hair slightly longer than his own and tied in two braids.
He glared at her. "That's from my room!"
"Indeed it is, interesting that you own a woman's wig, isn't it?" She grinned at him and he contented himself with grumbling as the two pulled his own pig tail up and bound it into a bun at the nape of his neck then settled the wig in place and styled it into a high pony tail. Hopefully she hadn't found the other two he had hidden in his room or a few other incriminating pieces of clothing he used for disguises.
When the pair had finished, Ranma found that the wig was much more secure than it usually was when he put it on and they quickly finished the disguise by wrapping the mask around his face, hiding everything except for his eyes.
"Wouldn't this work better if I disguised myself as an old man like Happosai?"
Nabiki shrugged slightly. "Maybe, but we didn't have a men's ninja outfit and there's more chance of you being recognized. A perverted girl isn't quite as disgusting as an old man, but I'm sure you can sell it."
Sighing, Ranma stood and let Kasumi fuss over the way the outfit fit, then took a deep, bracing breath. "Ok, I'm off."
Taking as much care as she could, Ranma crept out of the Tendo dojo. Every decent lesson on stealth that Genma had ever passed down and a few she had learned herself from avoiding him was put to the test, particularly given that it was still light out.
Once she was a couple blocks from the Tendo dojo though, she stopped on a rooftop and pulled out a list that Kasumi had provided. Every one of her clients was listed along with their address and a quick description-- of the collection, of course, not the individual.
Placing herself, she plotted a rough route through the neighborhood in her head and took off, deliberately letting herself be seen at this point and occassionally letting out an embarassed "Hotcha" or "Heehee, panties!" like the old goat to get in character.
The first home that she entered actually had someone out putting their laundry on the line, which was about as good a setup as she could hope. Stopping briefly on the roof, she took a deep breath then dropped down right behind the woman. "Panties!" The gleeful yell nearly made the house wife jump out of her skin and she fell backwards as she turned to see Ranma pulling a single pair of panties off the line and pulling them up to her face mask as if sniffing them.
She felt vaguely ill, but she only took off when the women screamed, "Thief! Pervert!" and came after her with a laundry pole.
Dodging for a couple moments, she then leaped over the fence to the next house, this one a two story with no laundry in the yard. Searching around for a moment, she found the bedroom and popped open the bedroom. A number of rattling attempts at finding the underwear drawer for the woman finally summoned the woman who lived here and Ranma duplicated her performance at the previous house with a bra this time.
This set up a pattern for the next 30 minutes or so, letting her visit perhaps fifteen houses and begin to accumultate quite the coterie of angry wives, mothers, and daughters. A visit to Furinkan managed to pick up the women's volleyball team and the swim team and things started to blur after that.
It wasn't until she was perhaps an hour into little crime spree and it was starting to get dark that she noticed she had company. Taking a breather on a local convenience store roof, she was sprawled out on the concrete panting when a voice from behind her startled her so much she had to grab her chest where it had started beating wildly again.
"You've got potential, girl."
Spinning, she saw Happosai sitting on the roof behind her, smoking his pipe and eyeing her with a leer. Tittering and trying to ensure she disguised her voice, she tried to pretend confusion. "Ahh... potential?"
"Of course, cutie." Popping up to his feet, Happosai began walking around her and Ranma gulped. "I'm a martial arts expert and I know talent when I see it."
Ranma laughed nervously and spun to keep an eye on the old goat. "I, ah, have a little training... I'm kind of in the middle of something though." She heard a thunk behind herself and spun, eyes widening as she saw a ladder against the far wall.
"I saw! I saw!" Happosai grinned at her. "Mind some company? I could give you a few pointers you know."
Ranma blanched. He wasn't sure how long he could keep this act up around the old martial arts master. Though... if Happosai joined this little crusade it should only be that much more effective and he hopefully wouldn't need to repeat it. Dodging a can that the woman who had just crested the roof threw at her, the currently disguised boy made a snap decision and yelled, "Only if you can keep up, sir!"
Then she jumped over the few women on the roof, crouched briefly on the precipice, and finally leaped over the sea of women below. She heard additional cries of disgust behind her peppered with exclaimations of delight from Happosai as she started running again and grinned to herself.
If this didn't work to bring in more people for Kasumi, nothing would.
...
Trying not to move much, Ranma ignored the fact that she was currently lying on Kasumi's bed and concentrated on trying to avoid aggravating the numerous bruises that covered her body. Kasumi's humming in the background helped with this, bringing back hazy memories of what she thought might be her Mom as she floated in an almost meditative state.
She couldn't remember too many other women in her life besides maybe the old lady after the c-c- feline training thing. She didn't really remember her singing or even humming though, so she thought this was maybe her mother. Shivering, she resolutely turned away from the thoughts the... incident always triggered and tried to chase the earlier feeling, but it seemed to have been lost.
Oh well. She would have shrugged if she didn't want to avoid using any of her muscles at the moment so she settled for slowly letting out a deep breath. How untrained girls could hit that hard was beyond her. Though she suspected the various blunt instruments of doom they carried helped.
She had gotten back to the house after finally managing to ditch the women chasing her and Happosai close to midnight. The old man had simply given her a congratulatory pat on the back (or a bit lower anyway) and bounded away. Her ill-gotten gains were secreted below Kasumi's bed, even if she couldn't use them in the contest and she had reported a resounding success to Nabiki-- only to be told she needed to do it again tomorrow anyway.
Nabiki had finally told her to get some rest and had left for the night, leaving Kasumi and her alone. She had stripped out of the ninja suit and been about to stagger out of the door when the older girl asked her to stay for a moment while she fixed the suit and helped to fit it a little better so it hopefully wouldn't tear and rip as easily the following day.
When Kasumi asked her to lie down on the bed while she waited she had been only too glad to get off her feet. She barely noticed the tape measure being used.
The occassional thrum of the sewing machine as the young homemaker fixed the numerous tears and other damage that had been done to her suit was a kind of counterpoint to the song and Ranma soon found her eyes drifting shut as it lulled her to sleep this time.
...
---------------------------------------------------------
"Ranma?" Kasumi appeared confused as he walked out of a nearby alley. When her sister did the same though, her eyes widened and the confusion in her voice took on a slight edge that was probably only audible to those who knew her well. "Nabiki!?"
"Uhh, I can explain, Kasumi." He just wasn't particularly looking forward to it. In fact, he wasn't even sure where to begin. He and Nabiki had seen the trio they were confronting now in the distance and she had asked him to set her down out of sight. "You see, Nabiki saw us with Ms. Yasuda last night and wanted to--"
The girl he had just mentioned stepped forward smoothly and took over. "Introduce herself. A pleasure Ms. Yasuda. My name is Nabiki Tendo, I'm Kasumi's younger sister."
"A pleasure to meet you, Miss Tendo." Michi seemed slightly bemused.
Nabiki smiled genially and bowed. "The pleasure is all mine. I felt I needed to introduce myself when I noticed you yesterday.
"I hope it isn't presumptuous, but I have actually followed your career for some time. You are something of a role model to me-- while it is becoming more common, there aren't many women who have been as successful in business as you have."
Waving off the compliment, though she seemed pleased, Michi said, "At least partially an accident of birth I'm afraid. I am always glad to hear of young women who are aiming to get into business though and don't intend to let the challenges stand in their way.
"Are you out of school today for some reason?"
Nabiki nodded briefly and said, "I am and I decided I should be here. It's important after all." A true statement more or less, Ranma admitted to himself, even if the 'reason' was that she was skipping school solely for this meeting. He wondered absently how the lawyer was taking the statement given the reason for this little tour of the neighborhood.
Looking towards Happosai, Ms. Yasuda raised an eyebrow. When he just shrugged she turned back to Nabiki and nodded slightly. "I see. Such an interesting family."
Looking at Nabiki's pleased expression as she and the old pervert's lawyer friend exchanged small talk, Ranma couldn't really let this go on as it was-- they were going to get to something more substantial eventually and start talking about why they were here. Nabiki had annoyed him and taken advantage a lot, but it wasn't really malicious enough that he wanted to sabotage her chances after college or whatever she was aiming to do. Plus, the longer he let this go on the more likely someone was to just come out right and say what was going on with Kasumi in front of her.
He wasn't really sure how to get across to Michi that she didn't know without telling her that Nabiki was lying through her teeth though. He hadn't really thought this through very well when he brought her-- he had hoped to have time to talk with Kasumi before her sister came out.
Actually, that wasn't a bad idea. She was a fair bit away from the pair. Sidling up beside the eldest Tendo sister, he leaned over and whispered, "Nabiki doesn't actually know, but I'm not sure how long that that's going to last."
"Oh my, so she is..." Kasumi glanced over at the pair.
He nodded.
A snap from just behind the two caused Ranma and Kasumi to look behind themselves and they saw Happosai pouting. "So you didn't pass on your skills, Kasumi? I had such high hopes when I saw little Nabiki here."
"Too bad, you've only corr--" The younger martial artist coughed slightly and looked over at Happosai's 'true disciple'. The usual 'banter' between himself and Happosai was a lot more difficult when he had to worry about hurting Kasumi's feelings. "--passed on your, ahh, past times to one Tendo."
The old letch grinned at Ranma's obvious difficulty in word choice. "You're coming along, my boy. You'll appreciate the benefits of a fine brassiere in no time at all." He slapped him on the back and Ranma bared his teeth at him in something that might be interpreted as a smile by Kasumi. And probably only Kasumi. "So you don't want Nabiki finding out? Well, we can take care of that."
Vanishing abruptly, Happosai appeared on the middle Tendo sister's shoulder abruptly, causing her to stiffen and slap a hand to just below her breasts-- Ranma assumed checking on the bra she was wearing. While she was letting out a sigh of relief, the old man said or rather whined, "Let's get going! We have a deadline you know."
Blinking, Michi looked at him and Ranma saw her mouth open to ask about it, only to close as Happosai began to gesture wildly behind Nabiki's head. Pointing to Kasumi, then Nabiki, shaking his head-- all while apparently not moving enough to even make Nabiki suspect his actions. It wasn't exactly subtle, but it apparently got the job done because the lawyer said, "Thank you for the reminder. I do need to get back to the office soon.
"Shall we continue the client inventory?"
Ranma and Kasumi blinked, then exchanged looks and turned back to Michi with wide eyes. When the lawyer saw their reaction, she just smiled secretively and turned to Nabiki with an explanation. "I'm not certain if Ranma and Kasumi provided all of the details, but we're actually considering investing in the Anything Goes Laundry Service as part of a small business outreach program for Dai Ichi."
Nabiki simply nodded. "I hadn't received many of the details yet, it's true. Please go on." He had to admire her poker face really, he couldn't even detect a hint of surprise. Then again Ms. Yasuda had to know that she was bluffing at this point, even if she didn't know and the lawyer wasn't showing a hint of that either. Hopefully being lied to well was offsetting the fact that she was lying in the first place.
They began walking as Michi started spinning what had to be a completely fabricated story about a trial period over the next week where her corporation would be monitoring the business to see how well it was run. Nabiki actually chimed in with surprisingly knowledgeable questions about weird things like sales targets and profit margins that sounded like she was actually familiar with the business. Ranma was really starting to wonder himself if that was what this entire thing had been about by the time the walk through the neighborhood ended. A glance over at Kasumi who seemed as bewildered as he was made that unlikely though.
...
When Ms. Yasuda had left in her car again, Nabiki spun around and pointed an accusatory finger at Kasumi. "I'm disappointed in you, big sister."
Kasumi blinked, eyes peering at the finger that was almost in her face and her sister continued uninterupted. "You promised to let me know when something important happened with your business. Now we have almost no time at all to plan for this. This is an amazing opportunity!"
"Sorry?" The older Tendo sister tilted her head slightly and said mildly, "Though I can say that I was just as surprised as you really. We just met Ms. Yasuda yesterday when Happosai introduced her and I found out about this trial today." Capturing the hand that Nabiki had pointing at her in her own, she smiled at her sister. "Truly, I would like your help though. I don't know what I would do without your assistance on the bills and such."
Deflating and then returning her sister's smile, Nabiki said, "Well, I suppose it worked out alright." Her smile then broadened and that predatory gleam reappeared as she asked, "Did you hear what Ms. Yasuda said about our tax filings? I didn't even need to bring it up!" Kasumi nodded encouragingly and Ranma tuned out the resulting conversation, which seemed to primarily revolve around Nabiki getting excited about some aspect of business trivia that he suspected her sister didn't particularly understand and said sister responding with gentle approval and appreciation.
Happosai vanished somewhere on the way back to the Tendo dojo and when they reached the house, Nabiki rushed off for the stairs immediately, saying something about checking on the balance sheets or something like that. He assumed she was responsible for the linens sometimes-- they couldn't be messed up that badly, even if he'd never seen her helping out in the past.
He and Kasumi on the other hand headed for the family room after checking to see if Genma and Soun were around. When it turned out they weren't, he collapsed onto the floor and the home maker knelt on one of the pillows.
Looking over at her, he asked, "So, uh... did you find it ominous that Happosai and Ms. Yasuda apparently know all about your business?" It had been a little creepy honestly-- he hadn't paid a lot of attention to the conversation, but it had sounded like the lawyer knew more about it then he did after one day. Admittedly, that wasn't saying much given that he pretty much just knew it existed.
Tapping her lips thoughtfully, she nodded. "I suppose I don't really hide it. I was not expecting that though."
"Do you think it will be an issue?"
"I don't know," she admitted as she leaned back. "Grandfather is very good at this obviously. I don't think he will interfere though. So maybe it won't be a problem?" She sounded optimistic, but then again, Kasumi almost always did. He didn't really see what Happosai could do with the knowledge though.
Shrugging, he turned to the bigger problem. "So did you figure out what kind of sale you could run to encourage people to show up this week?"
"I was thinking maybe offering my services for free." She paused and glanced upwards, where Nabiki would presumably be in her room. "I am not certain that Nabiki would agree with that though."
He nodded slightly. They had been talking about making money during the week he thought in the cover that the lawyer had created for Kasumi. He supposed giving things away didn't really do that.
"I did have one other thought," Kasumi said hesitantly. "It just seems a little... unfair?" The question seemed to be more for herself than him. "And possibly a little deceitful."
"What is it?" Ranma didn't say that both of those things sounded like just what they needed, but he sat up so he could show his support.
"I think that just as I wouldn't take Grandfather's collection, he wouldn't take mine." Kasumi played with the hair tie she used, twisting it around her hair after pulling it over her shoulder. "So it seems... well, if someone gives their s- their panties, bras, and lingerie to me, well then they won't need to worry about Grandfather taking them."
She glanced at Ranma and he nodded approvingly a grin starting to form as he saw where she was going with this. Reassured, she continued, "And since I am willing to let them borrow them perhaps they would prefer if they were in my collection? It does seem a little dishonest though, since they are still donating their collection to me instead of Grandfather."
"Happosai proofing!" Ranma winced at how loud he was there and lowered his voice, though he continued to grin wildly. This would drive the gnome nuts. It would be amazing. "That's brilliant Kasumi. I bet--"
Nabiki suddenly slid around the corner, almost falling, and ran in to drop to her knees next to Kasumi. Grabbing her sister's hands, she held them up between her and peered deep into her eyes. "Is it true?" The older girl blinked and looked between Ranma and her sister.
"Is what true?"
"Can you actually stop Happosai from stealing panties?" Nabiki's tone was urgent, her voice higher than usual and her breathing wild. "I heard 'Happosai proofing'. If there is a way to do that we'll make a fortune. We'll be a lock for that investment!"
"I... think so," Kasumi replied. "He doesn't take all of yours, does he?"
Nabiki's expression soured, but she grew thoughtful a moment later. "No, he doesn't actually. Just my new ones, the first time I've worn them and those he has already stolen before." Her expression twisted again and she said, "And maybe a couple times while I'm wearing them where they've turned up in the laundry later. I just assumed you took those back from him then though."
Her eyes positively shining with an unholy mixture of greed and wonder, she asked, "How do you do it? Can we just sell it on its own? Is it like the girl away?"
Kasumi's eyes widened ever so slightly and she looked to Ranma in the closet thing she had to panic. He grimaced and shrugged, at a loss himself, but then had a thought. "I've seen her do it-- it's kind of involved and I don't think you could actually sell it to someone, Nabiki."
Glancing back at him, Nabiki narrowed her eyes. "How would you-- oh, wait, you've been hanging around her while she does the chores."
"Hey! I help!"
She waved away his protest. "Yes, yes, so you say." Expression turning calculating, the mercenary girl appeared to be lost in thought for a few minutes and shushed him any time he started to say something. Kasumi seemed happy enough to wait and her patience was finally rewarded.
"So here's what I think we do..."
...
Kasumi and Ranma had another expedition that night at her insistence and were able to 'solicit donations' from two houses on the far side of Nerima with none the wiser, expecting that they would get more people closer to the Tendo Dojo with their Anything Goes Laundry gambit.
He had at least gotten Kasumi to stop signing the notes that she left, but she was a little shaken by it and he wasn't sure whether the excitement or the guilt would determine whether they went again tomorrow night.
Ranma was entertained while they traveled by a description of the conversation that Kasumi and Happosai had while escorting Michi around the neighborhood that morning. Apparently they had been debating the merits of "Trophy" panty hunting versus "Catch and Release". Although it wasn't so much a debate as Kasumi explaining her philosophy to Happosai and then the pair enthusiastically talking about the merits of both based on what the pig-tailed martial artist understood from her description.
While they were out, they also put out the fliers that Nabiki had spent the afternoon feverishly working on describing the "revolutionary new process" that protected panties, bras, gym shorts, lingerie, and many other delicates from perverts far and wide.
The following day, he and Nabiki went to school as normal and then rushed home together afterwards, prompting shouted questions from Akane that he figured he would need to answer eventually. When they reached the dojo though, the line of women dropping off laundry that they had been hoping to see wasn't present.
"So we did get some at least," Nabiki prompted her sister.
Kasumi nodded excitedly and said, "More stopped by with their collections than usual and they seemed quite excited about being proactive." She took them to the laundry room where there was a moderate pile of laundry, the vast majority of which was women's undergarments. Kasumi's eyes positively shone as she took in the variety of delicate, sheer, and lacy fabrics.
Nabiki gave Kasumi an odd look at the wording, but she ultimately started frowning, since all told it was only a couple batches of laundry. Ranma wasn't terribly impressed either. It was probably less than Happosai typically fit in his bag on one of his regular runs.
"I don't understand why we got such a poor showing," the middle Tendo sister mused as they left the room. "It's only the first day, but I saw the fliers. We should have had more people than this." She began pacing when they reached the family room and Ranma and Kasumi moved to one side to watch her and ocassionaly try to contribute thoughts-- when she rushed out muttering about "marketing research" though, he through up his arms in frustration.
Turning to Kasumi, he asked, "Is this really the time to go look at groceries?" He supposed he should give Nabiki the benefit of the doubt, but they were kind of on a timeline here.
"Perhaps there's a stall with lingerie?" Kasumi brightened and said, "I'll need to ask her about it when she returns. In the meantime, I really should take care of my collection."
While she did that, Ranma decided that he really needed to get some training in or his old man was going to get on his back. Running around Nerima carrying women that were taller than he was wasn't bad for that, but it was really just endurance training when it came down to it.
Both of them had finished up after a few hours and just managed to finish dinner in time. Nabiki was still absent, but came in during the middle of the meal and sat down. Akane gave her an odd look, since she was breathing rather hard and had a definite glow about her that indicated exercise. She didn't say anything though when Nabiki just lifted a sardonic eyebrow inviting questions.
Soun was his usual self during the meal, but Ranma thought his dad was acting kind of strange. More shifty than usual and he kept looking between him and Kasumi. Ranma was able to steal a good third of his dinner before he noticed and the old man never quite caught up.
When dinner finally ended Nabiki gave both him and Kasumi significant looks and then went upstairs. Assuming she wanted them to follow, he and Kasumi handed off clearing the dishes to Akane and trailed after her. After they had ended up in Nabiki's room, she stood up and then spun to face them.
"We have a problem."
"Ok..." Ranma waited and Nabiki continued a moment later.
Taking a deep breath, she said, "It took a little while to find out why our fliers hadn't attracted more attention, but I was finally able to confirm it this afternoon by taking some of my friends to ask around with me.
"Our problem is that Happosai has stopped stealing panties."
Ranma burst out laughing. "Come on, Nabiki. You can't be serious. The twisted little gnome can't go three minutes without latching on to some girl."
"I'm serious." Nabiki pulled out a little black book and flipped it open. "We didn't cover the whole of Nerima, but the only rumor of a panty thief that has shown up in the past two weeks or so was a couple of women living alone on the other side of the district. They were apparently robbed in the middle of the night.
"It's not really Happosai's MO though-- he wasn't seen and there was apparently a strangely polite note apologizing for the crime too and encouraging the women to take better care of their undergarments going forward. The language was admittedly pretty similar to what Happosai uses, but he gets off on the chase."
Ranma frowned at that and Kasumi was looking distinctly guilty, which he hoped that Nabiki didn't notice. He spoke up to ensure the short-haired brunette focused on him. "I'm sure I've seen him come in with the standard bag of panties though."
Nabiki shrugged. "It's not from Nerima in that case." Taking a deep breath, she closed the notebook and plopped down on the bed. "Here's the thing that brought it home for me. Or maybe made me suspect in the first place. Happosai didn't steal my bra yesterday."
Blinking, the pig-tailed martial artist said, "So? That's the idea, right?"
"It was new-- and it was this one." Nabiki reached down and pulled a couple pieces of shiny fabric off the ground, causing Kasumi to tsk in disapproval. That turned into a coo of delight when Nabiki showed off the matching lingerie. Ranma's cheeks pinked and he turned his gaze aside as the two exchanged brief compliments and comments on the undergarments.
"Ahh, yeah. That would do it."
Turning back after Kasumi had confiscated the bra and panty, he looked at Nabiki and asked, "So just because Happosai hasn't been around for a week or two people assume he's stopped for good?"
"Sort of," Nabiki said. "It's more like 'out of sight, out of mind'. People have short memories as a rule."
"What do we do then?" Kasumi asked. "Do we try something else?"
Nabiki shook her head and a small smile graced her lips, her eyes half-lidded and lazy. Ranma felt a shiver run up his spine as she turned her gaze on him and said, "No, I think I have a plan."
...
"This is a terrible idea." Ranma had said this many times so far, but it merited another attempt. She was currently dressed in Kasumi's ninja outfit, quickly hemmed and altered to fit her form in something approaching the way it had lay on the eldest Tendo daughter. Kasumi and Nabiki were currently discussing something in low tones on the other side of Kasumi's room that likely didn't bode well for her.
Turning at his statement, Nabiki asked, "Well, you could always go out as yourself."
"No!" Panicking at the thought of what Akane would do to her if she found out she was about do do what they had planned, Ranma shivered and hugged herself.
"Perhaps you have another idea you haven't shared then?"
"No." Ranma's tone was glum now and she sighed, but resolved to just keep quiet for now. Looking on the bright side, if Happosai was anything to judge by this should be an absolutely amazing training experience.
"I didn't think so." Nabiki walked over and patted him on the head consolingly and Kasumi came over and put her arms around him, giving him a hug that did a lot to express her gratitude and regret.
"So, you know the plan then. This is the last piece that we came up with to try and hide your identity." She held up a black wig with hair slightly longer than his own and tied in two braids.
He glared at her. "That's from my room!"
"Indeed it is, interesting that you own a woman's wig, isn't it?" She grinned at him and he contented himself with grumbling as the two pulled his own pig tail up and bound it into a bun at the nape of his neck then settled the wig in place and styled it into a high pony tail. Hopefully she hadn't found the other two he had hidden in his room or a few other incriminating pieces of clothing he used for disguises.
When the pair had finished, Ranma found that the wig was much more secure than it usually was when he put it on and they quickly finished the disguise by wrapping the mask around his face, hiding everything except for his eyes.
"Wouldn't this work better if I disguised myself as an old man like Happosai?"
Nabiki shrugged slightly. "Maybe, but we didn't have a men's ninja outfit and there's more chance of you being recognized. A perverted girl isn't quite as disgusting as an old man, but I'm sure you can sell it."
Sighing, Ranma stood and let Kasumi fuss over the way the outfit fit, then took a deep, bracing breath. "Ok, I'm off."
Taking as much care as she could, Ranma crept out of the Tendo dojo. Every decent lesson on stealth that Genma had ever passed down and a few she had learned herself from avoiding him was put to the test, particularly given that it was still light out.
Once she was a couple blocks from the Tendo dojo though, she stopped on a rooftop and pulled out a list that Kasumi had provided. Every one of her clients was listed along with their address and a quick description-- of the collection, of course, not the individual.
Placing herself, she plotted a rough route through the neighborhood in her head and took off, deliberately letting herself be seen at this point and occassionally letting out an embarassed "Hotcha" or "Heehee, panties!" like the old goat to get in character.
The first home that she entered actually had someone out putting their laundry on the line, which was about as good a setup as she could hope. Stopping briefly on the roof, she took a deep breath then dropped down right behind the woman. "Panties!" The gleeful yell nearly made the house wife jump out of her skin and she fell backwards as she turned to see Ranma pulling a single pair of panties off the line and pulling them up to her face mask as if sniffing them.
She felt vaguely ill, but she only took off when the women screamed, "Thief! Pervert!" and came after her with a laundry pole.
Dodging for a couple moments, she then leaped over the fence to the next house, this one a two story with no laundry in the yard. Searching around for a moment, she found the bedroom and popped open the bedroom. A number of rattling attempts at finding the underwear drawer for the woman finally summoned the woman who lived here and Ranma duplicated her performance at the previous house with a bra this time.
This set up a pattern for the next 30 minutes or so, letting her visit perhaps fifteen houses and begin to accumultate quite the coterie of angry wives, mothers, and daughters. A visit to Furinkan managed to pick up the women's volleyball team and the swim team and things started to blur after that.
It wasn't until she was perhaps an hour into little crime spree and it was starting to get dark that she noticed she had company. Taking a breather on a local convenience store roof, she was sprawled out on the concrete panting when a voice from behind her startled her so much she had to grab her chest where it had started beating wildly again.
"You've got potential, girl."
Spinning, she saw Happosai sitting on the roof behind her, smoking his pipe and eyeing her with a leer. Tittering and trying to ensure she disguised her voice, she tried to pretend confusion. "Ahh... potential?"
"Of course, cutie." Popping up to his feet, Happosai began walking around her and Ranma gulped. "I'm a martial arts expert and I know talent when I see it."
Ranma laughed nervously and spun to keep an eye on the old goat. "I, ah, have a little training... I'm kind of in the middle of something though." She heard a thunk behind herself and spun, eyes widening as she saw a ladder against the far wall.
"I saw! I saw!" Happosai grinned at her. "Mind some company? I could give you a few pointers you know."
Ranma blanched. He wasn't sure how long he could keep this act up around the old martial arts master. Though... if Happosai joined this little crusade it should only be that much more effective and he hopefully wouldn't need to repeat it. Dodging a can that the woman who had just crested the roof threw at her, the currently disguised boy made a snap decision and yelled, "Only if you can keep up, sir!"
Then she jumped over the few women on the roof, crouched briefly on the precipice, and finally leaped over the sea of women below. She heard additional cries of disgust behind her peppered with exclaimations of delight from Happosai as she started running again and grinned to herself.
If this didn't work to bring in more people for Kasumi, nothing would.
...
Trying not to move much, Ranma ignored the fact that she was currently lying on Kasumi's bed and concentrated on trying to avoid aggravating the numerous bruises that covered her body. Kasumi's humming in the background helped with this, bringing back hazy memories of what she thought might be her Mom as she floated in an almost meditative state.
She couldn't remember too many other women in her life besides maybe the old lady after the c-c- feline training thing. She didn't really remember her singing or even humming though, so she thought this was maybe her mother. Shivering, she resolutely turned away from the thoughts the... incident always triggered and tried to chase the earlier feeling, but it seemed to have been lost.
Oh well. She would have shrugged if she didn't want to avoid using any of her muscles at the moment so she settled for slowly letting out a deep breath. How untrained girls could hit that hard was beyond her. Though she suspected the various blunt instruments of doom they carried helped.
She had gotten back to the house after finally managing to ditch the women chasing her and Happosai close to midnight. The old man had simply given her a congratulatory pat on the back (or a bit lower anyway) and bounded away. Her ill-gotten gains were secreted below Kasumi's bed, even if she couldn't use them in the contest and she had reported a resounding success to Nabiki-- only to be told she needed to do it again tomorrow anyway.
Nabiki had finally told her to get some rest and had left for the night, leaving Kasumi and her alone. She had stripped out of the ninja suit and been about to stagger out of the door when the older girl asked her to stay for a moment while she fixed the suit and helped to fit it a little better so it hopefully wouldn't tear and rip as easily the following day.
When Kasumi asked her to lie down on the bed while she waited she had been only too glad to get off her feet. She barely noticed the tape measure being used.
The occassional thrum of the sewing machine as the young homemaker fixed the numerous tears and other damage that had been done to her suit was a kind of counterpoint to the song and Ranma soon found her eyes drifting shut as it lulled her to sleep this time.
...
And here is the last part of Chapter 5. This finishes up the first arc of the story-- aside from possibly an epilogue. Not sure when I'll write that up though and this makes the story fairly self-contained.
Just barely made my arbitrary deadline of 1/16-- here's to procrastination in all its many forms.
---------------------------
When Kasumi offered to allow her to lie down on the bed while she waited she had been only too glad to get off her feet. She barely noticed the tape measure being used.
The occasional thrum of the sewing machine as the young homemaker fixed the numerous tears and other damage in her suit was a kind of counterpoint to the song and Ranma soon found her eyes drifting shut as it lulled her to sleep.
...
"Oh, my."
Ranma almost walked into Kasumi, who had stopped just inside the door, then abruptly stopped as he made it into the dojo himself. "Oh, my." There wasn't really anything else that summed it up quite like that.
"Oh, my..." Nabiki stared at Kasumi in disbelief after she bumped into Ranma and caught a glimpse inside herself. "...how did we even...?" Her voice trailed off and she abruptly pulled out a calculator, punching buttons furiously.
Ranma looked around the veritable mountains of panties, bras, and other women's undergarments that filled the dojo. Some of those, significantly less than half he thought, had been here the previous day. Happosai was sitting on the largest of the piles and cackling to himself while a small table had been set up in the exact center of the dojo with Michi Yasuda sitting at it with what appeared to be ledgers or notebooks in front of her.
The last few days had been... hectic, to say the least. On the fourth night, Kasumi had him take her out again despite an extremely full day of processing emergency laundry runs by desperate women. He had done a shorter run as the masked ninja panty thief, then disappeared and he had taken Kasumi to a completely different part of town to minimize the chance of her being spotted.
Needless to say, this had not been completely effective and he had been forced to protect Kasumi from someone who had been visiting a friend earlier in the day in the area where he had made his fake panty run. While not quite up to one of the runs, trying to keep a non-combatant out of harms way without revealing himself had stretched his skills to the limit.
Kasumi, of course, had simply been a little flushed and quite keen to try it again the following night, but he had put his foot down. And given that the stream of customers coming to the dojo had been even greater than the previous day, he thought she would be exhausted enough just taking in the "laundry". He had certainly been tired by the end of the day.
Unfortunately, he had forgotten that she learned from Happosai. There had been a vague hope in the back of his head that the glut of panties would burn her out, for lack of a better word, but by the end of the day Kasumi was so energized that she could barely sleep. Nabiki was almost as energetic early on and had apparently worked out something about cross selling dojo lessons too, which meant that Soun was kept busy and distracted from what was going on.
By the time the end of the sixth day rolled around though, Ranma and Nabiki could only stare at Kasumi in disbelief as she continued to greet the women who came by with cheerful enthusiasm. And the seventh day, when Happosai was actually operating.... Well, that was pretty much a blur at this point.
Luckily, they had about a twelve hour break before the judging, so rest had been possible.
Shaking himself and coming back to the present, Ranma heard Happosai say, "I have to say Kasumi dear, when I saw how well you did. Well, I don't mind saying it brought a tear to my eye."
Eyes widening, Ranma quickly pulled Nabiki back. He could see where this was going and he really needed to get her out of here.
"Nabiki. Hssst. Nabiki!" Pulling herself away from the calculator, the middle Tendo sister looked up at him with a dazed expression.
"So much yen..."
Grabbing her by the shoulders, he leaned forward and hissed, "It's not all ours!"
Blinking, Nabiki glanced to each side at the piles of undergarments. One side was neatly stacked and organized, the other a haphazard pile. She glanced back at Happosai again and her eyes widened. "What the-- are all these his!"
"I don't know, maybe, maybe not. Maybe he got jealous or something," Ranma said levelly, "but you can't let Soun and Akane in here. You have to go distract them."
"Why?" Nabiki glanced at Kasumi. She had been asking more questions lately and Ranma suspected she might have some suspicions, or worse, about what was actually going on. They had been able to avoid the discussion so far, but... well, they could deal with that later.
"Why do you think? Akane will be so angry she'll probably level the dojo and your Dad...." He dug around for a moment, flailing for a reason and finally stealing one from the Tendo's mother. "He'll probably have a heart attack if he sees this."
Scowling, Nabiki said, "Fine. I will be back though!" She pointed a finger at him. "And I expect some straight answers after this."
Slipping out the door, Ranma sighed in relief. Behind himself, he heard Happosai still talking about the contest with less than perfect restraint. "And to think. You actually got them to bring their silky darlings to you!"
Shaking his head slightly as he saw Kasumi blushing, he was about to move towards the group when he was abruptly jerked backwards and out the door. It took him only a few moments to break the hold, but by that time he was already by the side of the dojo and he took in his father looking furtive. Well, more furtive.
"What's up, Pop?" Ranma took in the backpack strapped to Genma's back and frowned. They had missed their annual get away, but this was a crappy time to bring it up. "I can't leave right now."
"Shh..." Genma glanced towards the interior of the dojo, then said, "Boy, I've never tried to deny I'm weak. I make mistakes like any other man. I've always been honest about that."
Ranma snorted. "Yeah, you have. What do you want, Pop? It's a bad sign if you're not trying to blame someone else, just spit it out."
"I... may have made a mistake. With the Master." Glancing around nervously again, he hefted the backpack once. "Look, the... the details aren't important, but..."
He leaned in, gesturing Ranma close and said, "Make sure you make the Master and that woman count properly. Just know I did what I could-- it wasn't much, but... just make sure they check them."
Ranma gaped at the implication that his Dad of all people knew about Kasumi and the contest. He barely even moved when the old man gasped and pointed at something over his shoulder, but he was so out of it that his dad was able to physically spin him around instead to get his eyes off of him.
By the time he turned back, Genma was gone. Ranma frowned and looked around for a minute, but finally decided it wasn't important at this point. He'd track him down later, for now he wanted to get back into the dojo.
As he entered, it appeared that Genma's warning wasn't going to be necessary, because Kasumi was already answering in the negative about just conceding based on the relative sizes of the piles. He sat back a little ways, cross-legged, and watched the event. For the most part, it appeared that Ms. Yasuda was just going to be a glorified secretary, because all the actual judging was done by Happosai and Kasumi in tandem and the lawyer was essentially just writing it down.
The two were currently going through Kasumi's results. Due to her organization, largely a result of the fact that she needed to actually return these to the correct owners and it would be easier if Ranma and Nabiki could actually identify who they belonged to, it went pretty rapidly.
In the entire collection, not a single bra or panty was disqualified. Which wasn't to say that they hadn't had items that were disqualified over the course of the week. Nabiki had had several friends deliver their undergarments to her before Kasumi somehow convinced her that it was more appropriate if she took care of that. Kasumi, however, was meticulous and they were sorted out long before they reached the dojo when the it turned out the laundry room wasn't large enough.
They hadn't even tried to include the ones he had picked up in the little runs through Nerima that he was trying to forget.
As Ms. Yasuda worked on tabulating the results after they finished, Ranma turned his attention to Happosai's pile and sighed. He had no idea how the old goat had managed to put together as many as he had, but it was pretty clear that he had far more panties and bras present than Kasumi.
Frowning slightly as he remembered what his Dad had said, he wondered for a moment what he had meant as they started in on the other half of the dojo. Only for a moment though, because the third pair of panties that Kasumi had picked up to examine triggered a surprised expression from the girl.
Looking over at Happosai, she said, "I believe these were handled by Uncle Genma before you, Grandfather."
At his frown, she handed them over and he blinked as a moment later and said, "Well, that's true, I guess." Setting them aside, he patted them briefly and then pulled another pair himself only to frown again, this time with a bit more suspicion. He set those aside as well, this time without saying anything and the pair of Anything Goes experts got through perhaps another three dozen without doing more than idle chatting.
However, every third panty or bra appeared to be disqualified and Ranma was finding it hard to fight down a grin as Happosai's expression became more strained. Then Kasumi blinked and said, "Oh, my. These were handled by Father." At that point, Ranma realized exactly what had happened and jumped up to point an accusatory finger at the Grand Master of Anything Goes Martial Arts.
"You didn't collect all these on your own, you forced my and Kasumi's pops to help you!"
Jumping to his feet, Happosai scowled and yelled, "So what if I did, it's in the rules!" He then grinned slyly at Ranma. "Not like you weren't helping Kasumi here."
"She isn't even a martial artist!" Ranma yelled, "You knew she was going to need help. This contest was rigged." Then he remembered something and pointed at Happosai again. "Ha-- and you did cheat, they didn't sign the contract you made me sign!"
"Oh?" Happosai cackled and held out an imperious hand to Michi. She rolled her eyes, but leaned down to her briefcase and pulled out the thick bundle of papers to hand over. Happosai quickly started flipping through it, squinting at the pages and mumbling and giggling to himself. "When did we add that... wait, really? That was a great idea, I impress even myself. Where was it though... Aha!"
Holding out the page, he displayed a signature that Ranma recognized with a groan. "Damnit, Pops!"
"That wouldn't be binding under duress." Jumping, the pig-tailed martial artist whirled and saw Nabiki leaning against the doorway, arms crossed and a small knowing smile on her lips.
Ms. Yasuda smiled in response and nodded to the girl. "We meet again, Miss Tendo. You are correct, in fact. But I'm afraid this was a case of quid pro quo."
Nabiki frowned and said, "Happosai paid them?"
This prompted a shake of the head by Ms. Yasuda. "I believe the offer was officially being exempt from being designated as Master Happosai's heir."
"Wait a minute...." Ranma thought back to his Dad and his eyes widened. "They sold me out!"
Nabiki looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "And this surprises you for some reason? They tried it within five minutes of the old goat showing up again."
Michi coughed and looked slightly embarrassed. "I'm afraid that isn't precisely right."
"What?" Nabiki looked from Happosai, who was grinning expectantly at Ranma and was literally holding his mouth shut, to Ranma himself who had started growling at the old master. When his eyes flicked to Kasumi to check on her reaction, he heard her breath catch and he cursed to himself for not having better control. "Kasumi!? Happosai's heir is Kas--"
Ranma moved as soon Nabiki started yelling and he hoped that whatever she had done to Soun and Akane was keeping them far from the dojo, because he was pretty sure that could have easily been heard from the house. "Quiet," he hissed.
When she stopped yelling into his hand, she turned around and kicked him in the shin, but then she took a deep breath and said, "Thank you. Dad and Akane are out, but... well, we probably don't really want the neighbors..." She stopped and then looked at Kasumi, who returned her gaze with a somewhat nervous smile.
Squeezing her eyes shut, Nabiki massaged her temples with her fingers and Ranma heard her muttering under her breath. "10 yen, 20 yen, 30 yen, 40 yen..." He shrugged. Whatever it took, they could deal with Nabiki later.
"Let's finish-- it's not over yet," he growled. They still might pull off a win by Kasumi if his Dad's sabotage made a difference. A good third of what they had gone through so far had been put aside. If that held true through the whole pile they had a shot.
The pace after that seemed agonizingly slow to Ranma, particularly after Nabiki snapped out of it and started grilling him on why he of all people knew about this. She didn't take the terms of the wager particularly well, though he suspected it was less Kasumi's reputation and more her own she was thinking about. Just as they were getting into an argument about that, they heard Kasumi say, "That's everything."
With those words, the dojo fell silent, everyone but Happosai appearing tense. After a few minutes, Ms. Yasuda finished tallying her numbers. Eyebrow raising, she stared at it, then went back to calculating again and finally shrugged. "It's a tie."
Ranma blinked. "What? What happens then?"
Happosai cackled. "Tiebreaker! Same time next week!"
"No!" Ranma and Nabiki shouted together. The exhaustion, trials, and tribulations he had faced this week flashed through his mind and he stared sightlessly into the distance. Beside him, he heard Nabiki whisper in a tone of utter horror, "There probably wasn't even a Dai Ichi small business program, it was all for nothing...."
"Perhaps something else then, Grandfather?" Kasumi asked, tilting her head slightly at Ranma and Nabiki as they slumped against each other.
Plopping down into a cross-legged sitting position, Happosai stroked his mustache and appeared to be thinking. "Well, this was a test of sorts. Tell me, Kasumi dear, did you ever get the Treasure Box of the Three Priestesses open again?"
"No, I'm afraid not." Kasumi's expression might have been slightly cross, if you squinted and tilted your head the right way.
"There you go then." Happosai's pipe was abruptly in his hand and he spun it, then pointed at Kasumi. "You have one hour to open it. If you succeed, I'll let you add it to your total. If you fail, it gets added to mine."
Kasumi's eyes widened and Ranma sat up, breathing for the first time in what seemed like ten minutes. He nudged Nabiki and she looked at him blankly for a minute then caught up on the conversation.
"We're saved!" Nabiki almost cheered, then she turned to him and asked, "What's the treasure box of the three priestesses? It's no problem, right?"
"Uh, well, Kasumi opened it when she was 4, so it should be possible?" Ranma winced as Nabiki's eyes narrowed at him. It was possible he shouldn't have ended that with an interrogative. "It did take her like 6 weeks last time though. With clues."
"Great." Slumping back down, Nabiki watched the clock on the wall slowly tick away the time and Ranma did the same for lack of anything better. Happosai had vanished somewhere when he wasn't looking, which struck the martial artist as odd, but he figured now was as good a time as any to check on Kasumi.
Leaving Nabiki behind, Ranma walked over to the eldest Tendo sister and asked, as casually as he could, "How's it going, Kasumi."
"Hmm...? Ranma?" Looking up from the puzzle, Kasumi smiled at him and patted the ground next to her, so he sat down. Looking over the puzzle, he didn't see how this was going to work. There was... well, nothing at all that he could see to provide any indication of how to get into it.
"I'm afraid I still don't have any recollection of how to open it," Kasumi said after a minute. "I've been trying for two weeks and it just won't come to me. I've tried meditation like Sensei Ito suggested, reviewed my journals, I even tried looking in the fire like Master Hino used to do. All I saw was panties though."
She giggled at that and then leaned over to whisper to him. "Master Hino used to see those too and he would usually ask who they were on when I told him."
Ranma grinned, wondering how Kasumi's Mom had found all these characters. Looking up at the clock though, he noticed it was over 30 minutes into the hour they had for opening the box and it wiped away his smile.
Thinking, he finally said, "What if you don't try to remember? Have you tried just starting over?"
"Not really," Kasumi said after a moment, her tone hesitant. "I didn't think there was much chance of it working. I'm not really very good at puzzles."
"Here's the thing though," Ranma said after a minute. "I don't think Happosai is either. And he got this open the first time, right?
"So how'd he do it?"
Kasumi blinked. "That is a good question."
Leaning forward, Ranma pressed his point. "When you were a kid, you didn't have any skills really, so you had to muddle through it. But look at this--" Ranma gestured to the piles of undergarments on either side of them, the perfectly equal mountains of lace, silk, and satin with a smaller hill between. "Your skills are pretty darn close to his now. So try usin' 'em."
He rolled up to his knees and put a hand on each of Kasumi's shoulders, catching her eyes with his own. "You have the greatest pair of panties ever made in the history of the world in that box and they're from _your_ collection. If you can sense the precise location of a bra through three walls and across a street you can do this."
Ducking her head slightly, Kasumi gave him a shy smile, then turned back to the box. If he focused, he thought he could almost feel the delicate wisps of chi that she was using as they turned upon the box and sought out hidden crevices and secret channels in the engraving.
...
Happosai strolled in five minutes before the hour was up, somehow dragging a panda that was at least ten times his size. Ranma couldn't muster up much sympathy for his dad, even if was instrumental in foiling the pervert's plans.
What he got a real kick out of though was seeing Happosai's jaw drop when he saw Kasumi kneeling in the center of the dojo with the open box sitting in her lap.
Her smile was several orders of magnitude more brilliant than usually though and the old goat finally burst into a cackling laugh. "And here I thought I was going to have to give you a last minute clue just to really ratchet up the tension and give it a proper ending.
"Ahh well, you win some, you lose some." He tossed himself back to lie on the pile of panties he had collected. "She's still my heir, I'll turn her around on the publicity thing later."
"What! You can't do that, she won, old man!" Ranma jumped to his feet, incensed by the backstabbing little troll. He clenched his fists.
Happosai cackled again and pulled out the contract he had gotten from Ms. Yasuda earlier. "It's right here in the contract. If you wanted to be my heir though, you shoulda said so, my boy."
||Don't do it, boy! It's a trap!|| The beaten panda had jumped up and pulled a sign out. After he was sure he had caught Ranma's eye, he flipped it around. ||Take your freedom and run! Let the girl go, better her than us!||
"Shut up, you!" Ranma realized that he and Happosai had both pounded Genma moment's after the panda collapsed again, growling and clutching its head.
"Fine!" The pig-tailed martial artist pointed at Happosai. "I challenge you-- if I win, you take me as your heir!"
Happosai's eyes gleamed and Ranma gulped slightly, recalling the overwhelming aura from the first serious fight they had. With the mountains of panties around, it wasn't likely that his go to move for beating the old pervert would work either and he couldn't expect the girl's volleyball team to come marching past this time.
"Michi?" Ranma blinked for a moment at the non-sequitor, then turned and watched as Ms. Yasuda pulled out a fresh piece of paper. With commendable speed for a non-martial artist, she sped through filling it with line after line of writing before pulling out a straight edge and swiftly adding several lines.
Pulling out a stamp, she carefully inked a seal of some kind at the bottom, then turned and presented it to Kasumi. "Would you mind witnessing, Miss Tendo?"
"Umm, I suppose?" Kasumi carefully signed where indicated and then the lawyer made the rounds of everyone else in the room. Genma had to be helped up to sign and scarcely seemed to know what he was doing and the paper ended with Nabiki, presumably as another witness.
"Are we done yet?" At Happosai's nod, Ranma jumped backwards and entered a cautious martial arts stance. He didn't have much chance at this, but he had to do something for Kasumi. As Happosai's aura built up again, he felt that same overwhelming paralysis start to seize hold of him again.
There was no way that he was letting that old goat win though. With a roar, Ranma staggered forward, fighting through the miasma of power and lust and threw a wobbly punch right at his opponent. Who was just standing there for some reason.
Ranma felt his fist contact the pervert's wrinkly head, nudging it slightly, and then the little geezer just collapsed, clutching his face and yelling, "Ack, I am done in!" The miasma of power disappeared and the younger martial artist just stared, not quite understanding what had just happened.
"The horror! The pain!" Happosai twitched and writhed for maybe a minute, then appeared to fall unconscious. Looking around the room, Ranma saw Michi looking at the wall clock while Nabiki was apparently still reading the damned contract and Kasumi had started clapping slowly for him.
"What just happened?"
The clock ticked over to a minute past and Ms. Yasuda said, "Apparently you have won the match. Congratulations, you're one of the heirs to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts."
Kasumi clapped again and said, "Congratulations, Ranma!"
"What?" Ranma was pretty sure he was missing something. Particularly, as... "Wait, one of the heirs?"
"Hmm?" Michi looked up from where she had started packing up her belongings. "Oh, yes. I'm sure your sister-in-law to be can tell you about it. She looks like she's just about done."
Ranma glanced at Kasumi, then Michi waved her hand and pointed to Nabiki. She was indeed just finishing up with the contract and handed it over when Michi asked for it. Still feeling like he was missing something, Ranma said, "Well? What did she mean?"
"Ranma." Nabiki started, then stopped. Apparently trying to figure out how to put this. "Did you even read the damn thing before you signed?"
Ranma blinked. "You saw me, didn't you?" She continued to stare at him levelly. "Fine." He rolled his eyes. "No, I didn't really read it. Why would I need to do that? I knew what it was about."
"Because the contract was about being 'an' heir to the School." She paused expectantly.
"Right."
"No, not 'right'." Nabiki's voice rose and she walked forward, poking him in the chest. "'An' heir, not 'the' heir."
Ranma's eyes widened. "What?"
"There was also yet another marriage contract." She rolled her eyes. "Though given how many of those you have pop up around you, I suppose I should have expected that."
"What."
Kasumi also chimed in this time. "Marriage contract?"
Nabiki looked torn between impressed and frustrated, possibly at Ranma himself, because he was pretty sure his brain was just not engaging. "Well, more a confirmation of a previously executed agreement based on the language."
"Who?" Kasumi started to ask, then stopped as she saw Nabiki raise an eyebrow at her.
A low, evil giggling sounded behind Ranma and he turned slowly to see Happosai climbing back to his feet and dusting off his hands. "And it's done! Mwahahaha! The perfect coupling of martial and panty power! The Anything Goes School is secure for another generation!"
Genma leaped up and Ranma wondered absently where he had gotten hot water. "But Master, what about the agreement between Tendo and I? Akane is the boy's fiancee there!"
"What do I care about that?" Happosai snorted. "Switch it to Kasumi, leave it be and let the boy have a harem, or scrap it all together. The important thing is that my two heirs are getting hitched and their kids will be perfect!"
His laughter filled the dojo as he cavorted around, literally kicking his heels together, and Ranma turned to face Kasumi with wide eyes that appeared to be matched on her side.
.oOo.
Giggling to himself, Happosai watched from a closet as Ranma and Kasumi glanced at each other while cleaning, then hurriedly looked away again. He'd give them a little time before he really started in on the training. Let them get lovey-dovey first, maybe face some challenges together like he and Cologne had. Give Kasumi a little time to work on Ranma.
He had been almost as impressed by the boy as he was Kasumi. Well, not really. It was hard to beat convincing people to just hand their silky darlings over to you of their own free will. She was a once in a lifetime lingerie lover such as he had seldom seen.
Still, he almost hadn't recognized Ranma. If it weren't for the fact that she still wore boxer shorts rather than proper panties he might have missed it entirely.
Genma's kid certainly knew his stuff though and he'd shown a commendable skill at panty snatching for a novice. He'd train his children up right on that bit. Kasumi he was afraid probably wouldn't be able to get into the spirit of things for a good rumble any longer. He'd met buddist monks who had meditated on the meaning of peace for forty years that were less centered than that girl. Still, she got the important bits.
Noting that the pair had moved on from the room, Happosai considered following them but decided that he could give them a little privacy. Ranma had been muttering to himself about his damned promises and rewards, which was intriguing, but he had a certain apprentice to teach a lesson. He grinned lecherously and decided he'd let his imagination fill in the details later.
Popping out of the closet, he stretched briefly and started a leisurely stroll around the dojo. Genma would be around somewhere. Thinking back to yesterday's excursion, he scowled to himself. It had been the perfect plan, he just hadn't accounted for his apprentices actually growing spines.
He should have known something was up after Genma pulled him aside after Soun had enthusiastically signed the contract abandoning his parental rights. He could almost hear it again.
Genma had pulled him away to talk privately. "You're really going to have him help put his own daughter under your control, Master? That is beyond cruel."
"Oh?" he had said, "And who hasn't told his best friend about Kasumi yet, eh? Don't think you fooled me into believing you were unconscious and just put it together now, you old fraud."
The widened eyes and ridiculous exclamations of innocence should have let him realize it then and there. The fact that Genma even brought it up, revealing he knew what was going on should have told him to leave his rotten apprentice behind. Just as well he was starting from scratch.
As he walked out onto the clothes line, peering about for a lazy panda, he spotted the kid who turned into a pig walking in the door and grinned. Looked like that reward session was going to be cut short if he was any judge. Bouncing down, he followed along behind Ryoga then abruptly stopped as a bolt of inspiration struck.
Laughing, suddenly and loud enough that the Hibiki kid actually jumped into the pond in startlement, he turned and bounced out of the Tendo house. He knew exactly what he needed to do now.
The boy had a proper amount of rivals and love interests to keep him growing properly. Kasumi though. Kasumi was certainly missing anything of the sort. That needed to be fixed post-haste. Cackling again, he bounded across Nerima. He thought he'd start outside Nerima... Tomobiki maybe? Juuban? He was sure he had a few acquaintances around that could do the job. If not, well, he'd figure something out. He had plenty of time after all.
Just barely made my arbitrary deadline of 1/16-- here's to procrastination in all its many forms.
---------------------------
When Kasumi offered to allow her to lie down on the bed while she waited she had been only too glad to get off her feet. She barely noticed the tape measure being used.
The occasional thrum of the sewing machine as the young homemaker fixed the numerous tears and other damage in her suit was a kind of counterpoint to the song and Ranma soon found her eyes drifting shut as it lulled her to sleep.
...
"Oh, my."
Ranma almost walked into Kasumi, who had stopped just inside the door, then abruptly stopped as he made it into the dojo himself. "Oh, my." There wasn't really anything else that summed it up quite like that.
"Oh, my..." Nabiki stared at Kasumi in disbelief after she bumped into Ranma and caught a glimpse inside herself. "...how did we even...?" Her voice trailed off and she abruptly pulled out a calculator, punching buttons furiously.
Ranma looked around the veritable mountains of panties, bras, and other women's undergarments that filled the dojo. Some of those, significantly less than half he thought, had been here the previous day. Happosai was sitting on the largest of the piles and cackling to himself while a small table had been set up in the exact center of the dojo with Michi Yasuda sitting at it with what appeared to be ledgers or notebooks in front of her.
The last few days had been... hectic, to say the least. On the fourth night, Kasumi had him take her out again despite an extremely full day of processing emergency laundry runs by desperate women. He had done a shorter run as the masked ninja panty thief, then disappeared and he had taken Kasumi to a completely different part of town to minimize the chance of her being spotted.
Needless to say, this had not been completely effective and he had been forced to protect Kasumi from someone who had been visiting a friend earlier in the day in the area where he had made his fake panty run. While not quite up to one of the runs, trying to keep a non-combatant out of harms way without revealing himself had stretched his skills to the limit.
Kasumi, of course, had simply been a little flushed and quite keen to try it again the following night, but he had put his foot down. And given that the stream of customers coming to the dojo had been even greater than the previous day, he thought she would be exhausted enough just taking in the "laundry". He had certainly been tired by the end of the day.
Unfortunately, he had forgotten that she learned from Happosai. There had been a vague hope in the back of his head that the glut of panties would burn her out, for lack of a better word, but by the end of the day Kasumi was so energized that she could barely sleep. Nabiki was almost as energetic early on and had apparently worked out something about cross selling dojo lessons too, which meant that Soun was kept busy and distracted from what was going on.
By the time the end of the sixth day rolled around though, Ranma and Nabiki could only stare at Kasumi in disbelief as she continued to greet the women who came by with cheerful enthusiasm. And the seventh day, when Happosai was actually operating.... Well, that was pretty much a blur at this point.
Luckily, they had about a twelve hour break before the judging, so rest had been possible.
Shaking himself and coming back to the present, Ranma heard Happosai say, "I have to say Kasumi dear, when I saw how well you did. Well, I don't mind saying it brought a tear to my eye."
Eyes widening, Ranma quickly pulled Nabiki back. He could see where this was going and he really needed to get her out of here.
"Nabiki. Hssst. Nabiki!" Pulling herself away from the calculator, the middle Tendo sister looked up at him with a dazed expression.
"So much yen..."
Grabbing her by the shoulders, he leaned forward and hissed, "It's not all ours!"
Blinking, Nabiki glanced to each side at the piles of undergarments. One side was neatly stacked and organized, the other a haphazard pile. She glanced back at Happosai again and her eyes widened. "What the-- are all these his!"
"I don't know, maybe, maybe not. Maybe he got jealous or something," Ranma said levelly, "but you can't let Soun and Akane in here. You have to go distract them."
"Why?" Nabiki glanced at Kasumi. She had been asking more questions lately and Ranma suspected she might have some suspicions, or worse, about what was actually going on. They had been able to avoid the discussion so far, but... well, they could deal with that later.
"Why do you think? Akane will be so angry she'll probably level the dojo and your Dad...." He dug around for a moment, flailing for a reason and finally stealing one from the Tendo's mother. "He'll probably have a heart attack if he sees this."
Scowling, Nabiki said, "Fine. I will be back though!" She pointed a finger at him. "And I expect some straight answers after this."
Slipping out the door, Ranma sighed in relief. Behind himself, he heard Happosai still talking about the contest with less than perfect restraint. "And to think. You actually got them to bring their silky darlings to you!"
Shaking his head slightly as he saw Kasumi blushing, he was about to move towards the group when he was abruptly jerked backwards and out the door. It took him only a few moments to break the hold, but by that time he was already by the side of the dojo and he took in his father looking furtive. Well, more furtive.
"What's up, Pop?" Ranma took in the backpack strapped to Genma's back and frowned. They had missed their annual get away, but this was a crappy time to bring it up. "I can't leave right now."
"Shh..." Genma glanced towards the interior of the dojo, then said, "Boy, I've never tried to deny I'm weak. I make mistakes like any other man. I've always been honest about that."
Ranma snorted. "Yeah, you have. What do you want, Pop? It's a bad sign if you're not trying to blame someone else, just spit it out."
"I... may have made a mistake. With the Master." Glancing around nervously again, he hefted the backpack once. "Look, the... the details aren't important, but..."
He leaned in, gesturing Ranma close and said, "Make sure you make the Master and that woman count properly. Just know I did what I could-- it wasn't much, but... just make sure they check them."
Ranma gaped at the implication that his Dad of all people knew about Kasumi and the contest. He barely even moved when the old man gasped and pointed at something over his shoulder, but he was so out of it that his dad was able to physically spin him around instead to get his eyes off of him.
By the time he turned back, Genma was gone. Ranma frowned and looked around for a minute, but finally decided it wasn't important at this point. He'd track him down later, for now he wanted to get back into the dojo.
As he entered, it appeared that Genma's warning wasn't going to be necessary, because Kasumi was already answering in the negative about just conceding based on the relative sizes of the piles. He sat back a little ways, cross-legged, and watched the event. For the most part, it appeared that Ms. Yasuda was just going to be a glorified secretary, because all the actual judging was done by Happosai and Kasumi in tandem and the lawyer was essentially just writing it down.
The two were currently going through Kasumi's results. Due to her organization, largely a result of the fact that she needed to actually return these to the correct owners and it would be easier if Ranma and Nabiki could actually identify who they belonged to, it went pretty rapidly.
In the entire collection, not a single bra or panty was disqualified. Which wasn't to say that they hadn't had items that were disqualified over the course of the week. Nabiki had had several friends deliver their undergarments to her before Kasumi somehow convinced her that it was more appropriate if she took care of that. Kasumi, however, was meticulous and they were sorted out long before they reached the dojo when the it turned out the laundry room wasn't large enough.
They hadn't even tried to include the ones he had picked up in the little runs through Nerima that he was trying to forget.
As Ms. Yasuda worked on tabulating the results after they finished, Ranma turned his attention to Happosai's pile and sighed. He had no idea how the old goat had managed to put together as many as he had, but it was pretty clear that he had far more panties and bras present than Kasumi.
Frowning slightly as he remembered what his Dad had said, he wondered for a moment what he had meant as they started in on the other half of the dojo. Only for a moment though, because the third pair of panties that Kasumi had picked up to examine triggered a surprised expression from the girl.
Looking over at Happosai, she said, "I believe these were handled by Uncle Genma before you, Grandfather."
At his frown, she handed them over and he blinked as a moment later and said, "Well, that's true, I guess." Setting them aside, he patted them briefly and then pulled another pair himself only to frown again, this time with a bit more suspicion. He set those aside as well, this time without saying anything and the pair of Anything Goes experts got through perhaps another three dozen without doing more than idle chatting.
However, every third panty or bra appeared to be disqualified and Ranma was finding it hard to fight down a grin as Happosai's expression became more strained. Then Kasumi blinked and said, "Oh, my. These were handled by Father." At that point, Ranma realized exactly what had happened and jumped up to point an accusatory finger at the Grand Master of Anything Goes Martial Arts.
"You didn't collect all these on your own, you forced my and Kasumi's pops to help you!"
Jumping to his feet, Happosai scowled and yelled, "So what if I did, it's in the rules!" He then grinned slyly at Ranma. "Not like you weren't helping Kasumi here."
"She isn't even a martial artist!" Ranma yelled, "You knew she was going to need help. This contest was rigged." Then he remembered something and pointed at Happosai again. "Ha-- and you did cheat, they didn't sign the contract you made me sign!"
"Oh?" Happosai cackled and held out an imperious hand to Michi. She rolled her eyes, but leaned down to her briefcase and pulled out the thick bundle of papers to hand over. Happosai quickly started flipping through it, squinting at the pages and mumbling and giggling to himself. "When did we add that... wait, really? That was a great idea, I impress even myself. Where was it though... Aha!"
Holding out the page, he displayed a signature that Ranma recognized with a groan. "Damnit, Pops!"
"That wouldn't be binding under duress." Jumping, the pig-tailed martial artist whirled and saw Nabiki leaning against the doorway, arms crossed and a small knowing smile on her lips.
Ms. Yasuda smiled in response and nodded to the girl. "We meet again, Miss Tendo. You are correct, in fact. But I'm afraid this was a case of quid pro quo."
Nabiki frowned and said, "Happosai paid them?"
This prompted a shake of the head by Ms. Yasuda. "I believe the offer was officially being exempt from being designated as Master Happosai's heir."
"Wait a minute...." Ranma thought back to his Dad and his eyes widened. "They sold me out!"
Nabiki looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "And this surprises you for some reason? They tried it within five minutes of the old goat showing up again."
Michi coughed and looked slightly embarrassed. "I'm afraid that isn't precisely right."
"What?" Nabiki looked from Happosai, who was grinning expectantly at Ranma and was literally holding his mouth shut, to Ranma himself who had started growling at the old master. When his eyes flicked to Kasumi to check on her reaction, he heard her breath catch and he cursed to himself for not having better control. "Kasumi!? Happosai's heir is Kas--"
Ranma moved as soon Nabiki started yelling and he hoped that whatever she had done to Soun and Akane was keeping them far from the dojo, because he was pretty sure that could have easily been heard from the house. "Quiet," he hissed.
When she stopped yelling into his hand, she turned around and kicked him in the shin, but then she took a deep breath and said, "Thank you. Dad and Akane are out, but... well, we probably don't really want the neighbors..." She stopped and then looked at Kasumi, who returned her gaze with a somewhat nervous smile.
Squeezing her eyes shut, Nabiki massaged her temples with her fingers and Ranma heard her muttering under her breath. "10 yen, 20 yen, 30 yen, 40 yen..." He shrugged. Whatever it took, they could deal with Nabiki later.
"Let's finish-- it's not over yet," he growled. They still might pull off a win by Kasumi if his Dad's sabotage made a difference. A good third of what they had gone through so far had been put aside. If that held true through the whole pile they had a shot.
The pace after that seemed agonizingly slow to Ranma, particularly after Nabiki snapped out of it and started grilling him on why he of all people knew about this. She didn't take the terms of the wager particularly well, though he suspected it was less Kasumi's reputation and more her own she was thinking about. Just as they were getting into an argument about that, they heard Kasumi say, "That's everything."
With those words, the dojo fell silent, everyone but Happosai appearing tense. After a few minutes, Ms. Yasuda finished tallying her numbers. Eyebrow raising, she stared at it, then went back to calculating again and finally shrugged. "It's a tie."
Ranma blinked. "What? What happens then?"
Happosai cackled. "Tiebreaker! Same time next week!"
"No!" Ranma and Nabiki shouted together. The exhaustion, trials, and tribulations he had faced this week flashed through his mind and he stared sightlessly into the distance. Beside him, he heard Nabiki whisper in a tone of utter horror, "There probably wasn't even a Dai Ichi small business program, it was all for nothing...."
"Perhaps something else then, Grandfather?" Kasumi asked, tilting her head slightly at Ranma and Nabiki as they slumped against each other.
Plopping down into a cross-legged sitting position, Happosai stroked his mustache and appeared to be thinking. "Well, this was a test of sorts. Tell me, Kasumi dear, did you ever get the Treasure Box of the Three Priestesses open again?"
"No, I'm afraid not." Kasumi's expression might have been slightly cross, if you squinted and tilted your head the right way.
"There you go then." Happosai's pipe was abruptly in his hand and he spun it, then pointed at Kasumi. "You have one hour to open it. If you succeed, I'll let you add it to your total. If you fail, it gets added to mine."
Kasumi's eyes widened and Ranma sat up, breathing for the first time in what seemed like ten minutes. He nudged Nabiki and she looked at him blankly for a minute then caught up on the conversation.
"We're saved!" Nabiki almost cheered, then she turned to him and asked, "What's the treasure box of the three priestesses? It's no problem, right?"
"Uh, well, Kasumi opened it when she was 4, so it should be possible?" Ranma winced as Nabiki's eyes narrowed at him. It was possible he shouldn't have ended that with an interrogative. "It did take her like 6 weeks last time though. With clues."
"Great." Slumping back down, Nabiki watched the clock on the wall slowly tick away the time and Ranma did the same for lack of anything better. Happosai had vanished somewhere when he wasn't looking, which struck the martial artist as odd, but he figured now was as good a time as any to check on Kasumi.
Leaving Nabiki behind, Ranma walked over to the eldest Tendo sister and asked, as casually as he could, "How's it going, Kasumi."
"Hmm...? Ranma?" Looking up from the puzzle, Kasumi smiled at him and patted the ground next to her, so he sat down. Looking over the puzzle, he didn't see how this was going to work. There was... well, nothing at all that he could see to provide any indication of how to get into it.
"I'm afraid I still don't have any recollection of how to open it," Kasumi said after a minute. "I've been trying for two weeks and it just won't come to me. I've tried meditation like Sensei Ito suggested, reviewed my journals, I even tried looking in the fire like Master Hino used to do. All I saw was panties though."
She giggled at that and then leaned over to whisper to him. "Master Hino used to see those too and he would usually ask who they were on when I told him."
Ranma grinned, wondering how Kasumi's Mom had found all these characters. Looking up at the clock though, he noticed it was over 30 minutes into the hour they had for opening the box and it wiped away his smile.
Thinking, he finally said, "What if you don't try to remember? Have you tried just starting over?"
"Not really," Kasumi said after a moment, her tone hesitant. "I didn't think there was much chance of it working. I'm not really very good at puzzles."
"Here's the thing though," Ranma said after a minute. "I don't think Happosai is either. And he got this open the first time, right?
"So how'd he do it?"
Kasumi blinked. "That is a good question."
Leaning forward, Ranma pressed his point. "When you were a kid, you didn't have any skills really, so you had to muddle through it. But look at this--" Ranma gestured to the piles of undergarments on either side of them, the perfectly equal mountains of lace, silk, and satin with a smaller hill between. "Your skills are pretty darn close to his now. So try usin' 'em."
He rolled up to his knees and put a hand on each of Kasumi's shoulders, catching her eyes with his own. "You have the greatest pair of panties ever made in the history of the world in that box and they're from _your_ collection. If you can sense the precise location of a bra through three walls and across a street you can do this."
Ducking her head slightly, Kasumi gave him a shy smile, then turned back to the box. If he focused, he thought he could almost feel the delicate wisps of chi that she was using as they turned upon the box and sought out hidden crevices and secret channels in the engraving.
...
Happosai strolled in five minutes before the hour was up, somehow dragging a panda that was at least ten times his size. Ranma couldn't muster up much sympathy for his dad, even if was instrumental in foiling the pervert's plans.
What he got a real kick out of though was seeing Happosai's jaw drop when he saw Kasumi kneeling in the center of the dojo with the open box sitting in her lap.
Her smile was several orders of magnitude more brilliant than usually though and the old goat finally burst into a cackling laugh. "And here I thought I was going to have to give you a last minute clue just to really ratchet up the tension and give it a proper ending.
"Ahh well, you win some, you lose some." He tossed himself back to lie on the pile of panties he had collected. "She's still my heir, I'll turn her around on the publicity thing later."
"What! You can't do that, she won, old man!" Ranma jumped to his feet, incensed by the backstabbing little troll. He clenched his fists.
Happosai cackled again and pulled out the contract he had gotten from Ms. Yasuda earlier. "It's right here in the contract. If you wanted to be my heir though, you shoulda said so, my boy."
||Don't do it, boy! It's a trap!|| The beaten panda had jumped up and pulled a sign out. After he was sure he had caught Ranma's eye, he flipped it around. ||Take your freedom and run! Let the girl go, better her than us!||
"Shut up, you!" Ranma realized that he and Happosai had both pounded Genma moment's after the panda collapsed again, growling and clutching its head.
"Fine!" The pig-tailed martial artist pointed at Happosai. "I challenge you-- if I win, you take me as your heir!"
Happosai's eyes gleamed and Ranma gulped slightly, recalling the overwhelming aura from the first serious fight they had. With the mountains of panties around, it wasn't likely that his go to move for beating the old pervert would work either and he couldn't expect the girl's volleyball team to come marching past this time.
"Michi?" Ranma blinked for a moment at the non-sequitor, then turned and watched as Ms. Yasuda pulled out a fresh piece of paper. With commendable speed for a non-martial artist, she sped through filling it with line after line of writing before pulling out a straight edge and swiftly adding several lines.
Pulling out a stamp, she carefully inked a seal of some kind at the bottom, then turned and presented it to Kasumi. "Would you mind witnessing, Miss Tendo?"
"Umm, I suppose?" Kasumi carefully signed where indicated and then the lawyer made the rounds of everyone else in the room. Genma had to be helped up to sign and scarcely seemed to know what he was doing and the paper ended with Nabiki, presumably as another witness.
"Are we done yet?" At Happosai's nod, Ranma jumped backwards and entered a cautious martial arts stance. He didn't have much chance at this, but he had to do something for Kasumi. As Happosai's aura built up again, he felt that same overwhelming paralysis start to seize hold of him again.
There was no way that he was letting that old goat win though. With a roar, Ranma staggered forward, fighting through the miasma of power and lust and threw a wobbly punch right at his opponent. Who was just standing there for some reason.
Ranma felt his fist contact the pervert's wrinkly head, nudging it slightly, and then the little geezer just collapsed, clutching his face and yelling, "Ack, I am done in!" The miasma of power disappeared and the younger martial artist just stared, not quite understanding what had just happened.
"The horror! The pain!" Happosai twitched and writhed for maybe a minute, then appeared to fall unconscious. Looking around the room, Ranma saw Michi looking at the wall clock while Nabiki was apparently still reading the damned contract and Kasumi had started clapping slowly for him.
"What just happened?"
The clock ticked over to a minute past and Ms. Yasuda said, "Apparently you have won the match. Congratulations, you're one of the heirs to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts."
Kasumi clapped again and said, "Congratulations, Ranma!"
"What?" Ranma was pretty sure he was missing something. Particularly, as... "Wait, one of the heirs?"
"Hmm?" Michi looked up from where she had started packing up her belongings. "Oh, yes. I'm sure your sister-in-law to be can tell you about it. She looks like she's just about done."
Ranma glanced at Kasumi, then Michi waved her hand and pointed to Nabiki. She was indeed just finishing up with the contract and handed it over when Michi asked for it. Still feeling like he was missing something, Ranma said, "Well? What did she mean?"
"Ranma." Nabiki started, then stopped. Apparently trying to figure out how to put this. "Did you even read the damn thing before you signed?"
Ranma blinked. "You saw me, didn't you?" She continued to stare at him levelly. "Fine." He rolled his eyes. "No, I didn't really read it. Why would I need to do that? I knew what it was about."
"Because the contract was about being 'an' heir to the School." She paused expectantly.
"Right."
"No, not 'right'." Nabiki's voice rose and she walked forward, poking him in the chest. "'An' heir, not 'the' heir."
Ranma's eyes widened. "What?"
"There was also yet another marriage contract." She rolled her eyes. "Though given how many of those you have pop up around you, I suppose I should have expected that."
"What."
Kasumi also chimed in this time. "Marriage contract?"
Nabiki looked torn between impressed and frustrated, possibly at Ranma himself, because he was pretty sure his brain was just not engaging. "Well, more a confirmation of a previously executed agreement based on the language."
"Who?" Kasumi started to ask, then stopped as she saw Nabiki raise an eyebrow at her.
A low, evil giggling sounded behind Ranma and he turned slowly to see Happosai climbing back to his feet and dusting off his hands. "And it's done! Mwahahaha! The perfect coupling of martial and panty power! The Anything Goes School is secure for another generation!"
Genma leaped up and Ranma wondered absently where he had gotten hot water. "But Master, what about the agreement between Tendo and I? Akane is the boy's fiancee there!"
"What do I care about that?" Happosai snorted. "Switch it to Kasumi, leave it be and let the boy have a harem, or scrap it all together. The important thing is that my two heirs are getting hitched and their kids will be perfect!"
His laughter filled the dojo as he cavorted around, literally kicking his heels together, and Ranma turned to face Kasumi with wide eyes that appeared to be matched on her side.
.oOo.
Giggling to himself, Happosai watched from a closet as Ranma and Kasumi glanced at each other while cleaning, then hurriedly looked away again. He'd give them a little time before he really started in on the training. Let them get lovey-dovey first, maybe face some challenges together like he and Cologne had. Give Kasumi a little time to work on Ranma.
He had been almost as impressed by the boy as he was Kasumi. Well, not really. It was hard to beat convincing people to just hand their silky darlings over to you of their own free will. She was a once in a lifetime lingerie lover such as he had seldom seen.
Still, he almost hadn't recognized Ranma. If it weren't for the fact that she still wore boxer shorts rather than proper panties he might have missed it entirely.
Genma's kid certainly knew his stuff though and he'd shown a commendable skill at panty snatching for a novice. He'd train his children up right on that bit. Kasumi he was afraid probably wouldn't be able to get into the spirit of things for a good rumble any longer. He'd met buddist monks who had meditated on the meaning of peace for forty years that were less centered than that girl. Still, she got the important bits.
Noting that the pair had moved on from the room, Happosai considered following them but decided that he could give them a little privacy. Ranma had been muttering to himself about his damned promises and rewards, which was intriguing, but he had a certain apprentice to teach a lesson. He grinned lecherously and decided he'd let his imagination fill in the details later.
Popping out of the closet, he stretched briefly and started a leisurely stroll around the dojo. Genma would be around somewhere. Thinking back to yesterday's excursion, he scowled to himself. It had been the perfect plan, he just hadn't accounted for his apprentices actually growing spines.
He should have known something was up after Genma pulled him aside after Soun had enthusiastically signed the contract abandoning his parental rights. He could almost hear it again.
Genma had pulled him away to talk privately. "You're really going to have him help put his own daughter under your control, Master? That is beyond cruel."
"Oh?" he had said, "And who hasn't told his best friend about Kasumi yet, eh? Don't think you fooled me into believing you were unconscious and just put it together now, you old fraud."
The widened eyes and ridiculous exclamations of innocence should have let him realize it then and there. The fact that Genma even brought it up, revealing he knew what was going on should have told him to leave his rotten apprentice behind. Just as well he was starting from scratch.
As he walked out onto the clothes line, peering about for a lazy panda, he spotted the kid who turned into a pig walking in the door and grinned. Looked like that reward session was going to be cut short if he was any judge. Bouncing down, he followed along behind Ryoga then abruptly stopped as a bolt of inspiration struck.
Laughing, suddenly and loud enough that the Hibiki kid actually jumped into the pond in startlement, he turned and bounced out of the Tendo house. He knew exactly what he needed to do now.
The boy had a proper amount of rivals and love interests to keep him growing properly. Kasumi though. Kasumi was certainly missing anything of the sort. That needed to be fixed post-haste. Cackling again, he bounded across Nerima. He thought he'd start outside Nerima... Tomobiki maybe? Juuban? He was sure he had a few acquaintances around that could do the job. If not, well, he'd figure something out. He had plenty of time after all.
He does usually pair well with Happosai (and by extension Kasumi) and I've given it some thought, it will probably be a long while though-- I haven't actually gotten round to watching Urusei Yatsura yet. It is on my list though.
I suspect the first encounter stemming from Happosai for Kasumi will actually be a reunion of sorts. I have some plans for Happosai visiting Juuban and becoming the Sailor Scouts big bad for awhile. And of course Kasumi and Ranma would be his (unknowing and extremely reluctant) lieutenants.
I suspect the first encounter stemming from Happosai for Kasumi will actually be a reunion of sorts. I have some plans for Happosai visiting Juuban and becoming the Sailor Scouts big bad for awhile. And of course Kasumi and Ranma would be his (unknowing and extremely reluctant) lieutenants.