So I wrote this Avengers piece a few months back, and it has been sitting on my HDD collecting virtual dust ever since. It hasn't been edited yet, so I was hoping that you guys could read through it and give me some feedback before I post it on FF.net or AO3.
Summary: Tony is bored and starts asking the team personal questions, with surprising results.
Note: This story does have gay implications.
Story:
Tony lounged back against one of the plush armchairs that decorated the living area of the Stark Tower. Many of his fellow Avengers were similarly situated with various activities holding their individual attention. He flipped through a few screens on his Stark pad, opened a few apps, closed them again and then dropped the device haphazardly onto the table next to him. He leant his head back against the cushions behind him, tapping his fingers repeatedly against his stomach, whilst humming tunelessly to himself. Finally, he lifted his head and stared at his team mates, as if hoping that one of them would do something interesting with which to entertain him.
When they all failed spectacularly at that, he opened his mouth and addressed the room at large. "So. Question. If you had the chance to sleep with any celebrity, whom would it be?"
Without either one lifting their heads from what they were doing, Steve reached into his trouser pocket and withdrew a $10 bill, which he passed across to Natasha. Natasha smirked, took the note and tucked it out of sight.
Tony just growled in frustration, before sitting forward, warming to his topic. "No seriously, who would it be? Anyone at all - top choice"
Bruce gave up and lifted his eyes from his notes to give Tony his full attention, his glasses still perched on the end of his nose. Thor, likewise, was looking at him with interest. Steve sighed, sensing the growing enthusiasm for the topic and resigning himself to it. Natasha continued to ignore them.
"So, who would you choose, Tony?" Steve asked.
Tony grinned in victory, before sitting back and pretending to ponder the question. After a few moments, the expression shifted to one of actual thought and when he looked up, he sounded bemused. "You know... I don't actually know. I've slept with most of them already. Well, the ones I had any interest in anyway, and more than a few I didn't." He looked honesty surprised that he didn't have a ready answer to that.
Steve rolled his eyes, and Natasha muttered something unflattering in Russian. Tony shrugged and then grinned again, looking across at Bruce.
"So what about you, big guy? Who would you fancy a roll in the sack with?"
Bruce took his glasses off and rubbed at his eyes. He put his glasses away in his shirt pocket before looking up and admitting "Liv Tyler. I've always found her incredibly attractive." Tony's grin widened as he drawled out a "Nice!" and he reached over to fist bump Bruce. Bruce smiled back with a small shrug, returning the gesture. Tony turned to Steve next, expectedly.
Steve looked at them both in slight confusion. "I don't actually know who that is," He said. Tony frowned. "I'm still not very familiar with modern pop culture." Steve expounded as Tony stared at him. "Jarvis, queue up the Lord of the Ring trilogy for the next movie night," was Tony's only comment to this. He paused for a minute and then added, almost as an afterthought, "Also Armageddon".
He turned back to Steve. "There must be someone famous that you know of, who gets your red, white and blue blood flowing?" Steve ignored the subtle gibe regarding his uniform and considered the question itself. "Well, there was one actress I remember from when I was in the army," he allowed. "Ingrid Bergman. I remember seeing a few of her films, including Casablanca more than once. A few of the men in my unit even had pin ups of her. Hard not to notice her... charms."
Tony whistled. "Captain America looking at pin ups of film stars. Colour me impressed!" Even Bruce smiled at that one. Steve blushed lightly, grinned and then coughed when he noticed Natasha's raised eyebrow.
Thor broke into the conversation, saving Steve from further embarrassment. He looked quizzically between the three men and then said, "I do not understand. If you are so enamoured with these women, why not just pursue their affections?" Tony, Bruce and Steve all looked at one another, trying to decide how best to answer that one. Natasha saved them the bother, joining the conversation for the first time.
"It's not the women's affections they are interested in," she explained to Thor.
"But yet they wish to bed them? What interest do they hold for women they dislike?" He asked.
"They don't dislike them. They just admire the women purely on a physical level and are not really interested in anything further then a night..." she explained.
"Or a weekend," Tony interjected.
"Ahh..." Thor said, "So they are whores then! Why not just say so? I have oft witnessed men and fellow warriors discussing which whores please them most." Thor looked quite pleased to finally be following their conversation. Steve had turned a rather interesting shade a purple during Thor's dialogue and was quietly choking in his seat. Natasha looked highly amused. It was clear that she was waiting to see how the boys were going to explain their way out of that one.
Tony opened his mouth, his hands and face already animated to begin his explanation, but Bruce quickly cut him off. "They're not whores. They are celebrated personalities within modern society, made famous for their talents or abilities such as singing or acting," Bruce explained, talking loudly over every attempt of Tony's to add to his explanation. “Tony was merely asking, if we ever had the opportunity to meet one of them, and things happened to take a romantic turn, whom we would most wish for this to happen with."
Thor sat back as he mulled it over. He was obviously finding the conversation less than living up to his initial expectations of it. Thor spoke up thoughtfully, "So they are not slighting these women's honour. They are merely being..."
"Childish?" Natasha offered helpfully.
"Vulgar." Thor concluded, shooting a Natasha a grin.
"They're men," Natasha stated. "They're usually vulgar. It's what makes them such easy marks."
There was an awkward silence after that. "Anyway," Tony finally said. "Thor's male too - and he's been to Earth a few times now, so he must've had time to notice someone who got him a bit hot under the collar." He turned to Thor expectantly.
Thor beamed. "Indeed there is. Lady Jane is a beauty to behold!"
He looked slightly dejectedly at Tony then. "But I have told you this already. Do you not remember?" A thought suddenly occurred to him, because he hastened to add "However, a true friend would not go about enquiring details of such intimate matters."
Tony rolled his eyes and gave up on him.
Just then, Clint rounded the corner and entered the room. Tony eyes roved over the sweat glistening off of Clint’s arm muscles appreciatively; that and the bow case he casually dropped down clearly indicating that he had just come straight from the training room.
“Hey,†Clint said, glancing up and seeing them all sitting around. “What you guys up to?â€
Tony dragged his eyes back up to Clint’s face and pasted a wide grin on his face. “Discussing which celebs we would like a shot at in bed.â€
Clint’s eyebrows rose as he glanced around the room again. He turned back to Tony, who readily obliged his silent request with further details. Clint’s gaze swept to each member as Tony mentioned them, before returning to the man speaking to him. “Bruce here rather fancies Liv Tyler. Steve, not as innocent as he likes to make believe, likes the older but very lovely Ingrid Bergman. Thor is far too wrapped up in his lovely Jane to notice anyone else exists.†Here, Tony rolled his eyes, his back to the rest of them so Clint was the only one to see it. “And the lovely Natasha is above it all. Of course.â€
Clint smirked at Natasha and agreed, “Of course.†She glared daggers back at him, and he wisely refrained from saying more, though his smirk widened fractionally. His attention returned to Tony, who raised a challenging eyebrow in his direction. “So what about you Cupid? What’s your preference?â€
“Dave Grohl,†Clint answered back instantly, obviously having no need to consider his answer.
His response met with dead silence from around the room. He blinked a few times at the shocked expressions he got from all except Natasha, who now sported a smirk of her very own. “What?†He finally asked. “Dave Grohl is incredibly talented, funny and as hot as hell!†he defended.
Bruce coughed, and cleared his throat before replying for all of them. “I don’t think it’s your choice in celebrity that has everyone speechless, so much as the fact that none of us realized you were into men.â€
Clint glanced quickly at each of them, before his gaze settled on Tony and then returned to Bruce. He shrugged. “Gender means very little to me when choosing my bed partners. I can appreciate what both have to offer.†And with that, he wandered off towards the kitchen, the sounds of the coffee machine soon drifting through.
It took all of two minutes for Tony to find his way into the kitchen as well. He sidled up next to Clint and casually leant a hip against the counter. Clint glanced at him from the corner of his eye, before returning his gaze to his own actions. Tony waited a beat longer, but no further response was forthcoming.
“You know,†he finally said. “I bear a certain resemblance to Dave Grohl.â€
Clint turned around, cup of coffee in hand, and raised an eyebrow at him.
“In fact,†Tony grinned. “You could say I hold all three of the attributes you mentioned.â€
Clint just smirked at him, took a sip of his coffee and said: “I know.â€
Summary: Tony is bored and starts asking the team personal questions, with surprising results.
Note: This story does have gay implications.
Story:
A Question Asked
Tony lounged back against one of the plush armchairs that decorated the living area of the Stark Tower. Many of his fellow Avengers were similarly situated with various activities holding their individual attention. He flipped through a few screens on his Stark pad, opened a few apps, closed them again and then dropped the device haphazardly onto the table next to him. He leant his head back against the cushions behind him, tapping his fingers repeatedly against his stomach, whilst humming tunelessly to himself. Finally, he lifted his head and stared at his team mates, as if hoping that one of them would do something interesting with which to entertain him.
When they all failed spectacularly at that, he opened his mouth and addressed the room at large. "So. Question. If you had the chance to sleep with any celebrity, whom would it be?"
Without either one lifting their heads from what they were doing, Steve reached into his trouser pocket and withdrew a $10 bill, which he passed across to Natasha. Natasha smirked, took the note and tucked it out of sight.
Tony just growled in frustration, before sitting forward, warming to his topic. "No seriously, who would it be? Anyone at all - top choice"
Bruce gave up and lifted his eyes from his notes to give Tony his full attention, his glasses still perched on the end of his nose. Thor, likewise, was looking at him with interest. Steve sighed, sensing the growing enthusiasm for the topic and resigning himself to it. Natasha continued to ignore them.
"So, who would you choose, Tony?" Steve asked.
Tony grinned in victory, before sitting back and pretending to ponder the question. After a few moments, the expression shifted to one of actual thought and when he looked up, he sounded bemused. "You know... I don't actually know. I've slept with most of them already. Well, the ones I had any interest in anyway, and more than a few I didn't." He looked honesty surprised that he didn't have a ready answer to that.
Steve rolled his eyes, and Natasha muttered something unflattering in Russian. Tony shrugged and then grinned again, looking across at Bruce.
"So what about you, big guy? Who would you fancy a roll in the sack with?"
Bruce took his glasses off and rubbed at his eyes. He put his glasses away in his shirt pocket before looking up and admitting "Liv Tyler. I've always found her incredibly attractive." Tony's grin widened as he drawled out a "Nice!" and he reached over to fist bump Bruce. Bruce smiled back with a small shrug, returning the gesture. Tony turned to Steve next, expectedly.
Steve looked at them both in slight confusion. "I don't actually know who that is," He said. Tony frowned. "I'm still not very familiar with modern pop culture." Steve expounded as Tony stared at him. "Jarvis, queue up the Lord of the Ring trilogy for the next movie night," was Tony's only comment to this. He paused for a minute and then added, almost as an afterthought, "Also Armageddon".
He turned back to Steve. "There must be someone famous that you know of, who gets your red, white and blue blood flowing?" Steve ignored the subtle gibe regarding his uniform and considered the question itself. "Well, there was one actress I remember from when I was in the army," he allowed. "Ingrid Bergman. I remember seeing a few of her films, including Casablanca more than once. A few of the men in my unit even had pin ups of her. Hard not to notice her... charms."
Tony whistled. "Captain America looking at pin ups of film stars. Colour me impressed!" Even Bruce smiled at that one. Steve blushed lightly, grinned and then coughed when he noticed Natasha's raised eyebrow.
Thor broke into the conversation, saving Steve from further embarrassment. He looked quizzically between the three men and then said, "I do not understand. If you are so enamoured with these women, why not just pursue their affections?" Tony, Bruce and Steve all looked at one another, trying to decide how best to answer that one. Natasha saved them the bother, joining the conversation for the first time.
"It's not the women's affections they are interested in," she explained to Thor.
"But yet they wish to bed them? What interest do they hold for women they dislike?" He asked.
"They don't dislike them. They just admire the women purely on a physical level and are not really interested in anything further then a night..." she explained.
"Or a weekend," Tony interjected.
"Ahh..." Thor said, "So they are whores then! Why not just say so? I have oft witnessed men and fellow warriors discussing which whores please them most." Thor looked quite pleased to finally be following their conversation. Steve had turned a rather interesting shade a purple during Thor's dialogue and was quietly choking in his seat. Natasha looked highly amused. It was clear that she was waiting to see how the boys were going to explain their way out of that one.
Tony opened his mouth, his hands and face already animated to begin his explanation, but Bruce quickly cut him off. "They're not whores. They are celebrated personalities within modern society, made famous for their talents or abilities such as singing or acting," Bruce explained, talking loudly over every attempt of Tony's to add to his explanation. “Tony was merely asking, if we ever had the opportunity to meet one of them, and things happened to take a romantic turn, whom we would most wish for this to happen with."
Thor sat back as he mulled it over. He was obviously finding the conversation less than living up to his initial expectations of it. Thor spoke up thoughtfully, "So they are not slighting these women's honour. They are merely being..."
"Childish?" Natasha offered helpfully.
"Vulgar." Thor concluded, shooting a Natasha a grin.
"They're men," Natasha stated. "They're usually vulgar. It's what makes them such easy marks."
There was an awkward silence after that. "Anyway," Tony finally said. "Thor's male too - and he's been to Earth a few times now, so he must've had time to notice someone who got him a bit hot under the collar." He turned to Thor expectantly.
Thor beamed. "Indeed there is. Lady Jane is a beauty to behold!"
He looked slightly dejectedly at Tony then. "But I have told you this already. Do you not remember?" A thought suddenly occurred to him, because he hastened to add "However, a true friend would not go about enquiring details of such intimate matters."
Tony rolled his eyes and gave up on him.
Just then, Clint rounded the corner and entered the room. Tony eyes roved over the sweat glistening off of Clint’s arm muscles appreciatively; that and the bow case he casually dropped down clearly indicating that he had just come straight from the training room.
“Hey,†Clint said, glancing up and seeing them all sitting around. “What you guys up to?â€
Tony dragged his eyes back up to Clint’s face and pasted a wide grin on his face. “Discussing which celebs we would like a shot at in bed.â€
Clint’s eyebrows rose as he glanced around the room again. He turned back to Tony, who readily obliged his silent request with further details. Clint’s gaze swept to each member as Tony mentioned them, before returning to the man speaking to him. “Bruce here rather fancies Liv Tyler. Steve, not as innocent as he likes to make believe, likes the older but very lovely Ingrid Bergman. Thor is far too wrapped up in his lovely Jane to notice anyone else exists.†Here, Tony rolled his eyes, his back to the rest of them so Clint was the only one to see it. “And the lovely Natasha is above it all. Of course.â€
Clint smirked at Natasha and agreed, “Of course.†She glared daggers back at him, and he wisely refrained from saying more, though his smirk widened fractionally. His attention returned to Tony, who raised a challenging eyebrow in his direction. “So what about you Cupid? What’s your preference?â€
“Dave Grohl,†Clint answered back instantly, obviously having no need to consider his answer.
His response met with dead silence from around the room. He blinked a few times at the shocked expressions he got from all except Natasha, who now sported a smirk of her very own. “What?†He finally asked. “Dave Grohl is incredibly talented, funny and as hot as hell!†he defended.
Bruce coughed, and cleared his throat before replying for all of them. “I don’t think it’s your choice in celebrity that has everyone speechless, so much as the fact that none of us realized you were into men.â€
Clint glanced quickly at each of them, before his gaze settled on Tony and then returned to Bruce. He shrugged. “Gender means very little to me when choosing my bed partners. I can appreciate what both have to offer.†And with that, he wandered off towards the kitchen, the sounds of the coffee machine soon drifting through.
It took all of two minutes for Tony to find his way into the kitchen as well. He sidled up next to Clint and casually leant a hip against the counter. Clint glanced at him from the corner of his eye, before returning his gaze to his own actions. Tony waited a beat longer, but no further response was forthcoming.
“You know,†he finally said. “I bear a certain resemblance to Dave Grohl.â€
Clint turned around, cup of coffee in hand, and raised an eyebrow at him.
“In fact,†Tony grinned. “You could say I hold all three of the attributes you mentioned.â€
Clint just smirked at him, took a sip of his coffee and said: “I know.â€
Fin~