Naruto Big Fish, Tiny Pond (BnJ Version)
- Thread starter BukkakeNoJutsu
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Here's a small part:
Big Fish, Tiny Pond
Chapter 2: Balls. Balls Everywhere.
By BukkakeNoJutsu
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ôLady, your lips are the most
Baby, your mouth is like a ghost
Lady, you think you're a champ but
Girl you ain't nothin' but a raw ramp. ô
-ôRaw Rampö by T-Rex
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Keiga saw red. Who the fuck did this weak-ass leaf nin think he was?
He was Keiga, nephew of the Raikage, taijutsu specialist from a long bloodline of named fighting men. Fuck this pretty boy. This piece-of-shit nobody.
Keiga charged.
The blond vanished in a puff of white smoke, indicative of a garden-variety body substitution technique, leaving behind a chesty brunette girl, her lustrous hair bound in a simple ponytail. Apparently from a minor village from the unfamiliar symbol on her forehead protector, her innocent looking brown eyes went wide with surprise. Noticing the momentum of KeigaÆs trajectory, the girl let out the most indignant, downright appalling, girlish shriek Keiga had ever had the displeasure to hear.
Much like a throbbing erection against a brick wall, the white-haired teen came to a dead stop.
Most of the kunoichi in the exam room let out a collective sigh at the sight of the girl completely losing her shit. This is why we canÆt have nice things, they thought. Fucking amateur.
KeigaÆs head swiveled side to side searching for his prey like a bloodhound. Keiga found him standing near his teammates, behind the mousy Rintaro, and next to the green-haired Tsune.
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ôIs your teammate always like this, Miss?ö questioned one of the competitors next to Tsune.
ôUhàunfortunately,ô sighed the archery specialist from the Village Hidden in Clouds, ôFuck my life.ö
ôMy condolences,ö offered her fellow competitor.
ôThanks,ö uttered Tsune turning to find the blond teen from Konoha who ruthlessly antagonized Keiga, greeting her with a friendly grin and a small wave.
ôNaruto. Nice to meet you,ö said the blue-eyed teen, unexpectedly taking her gloved hand to shake.
ôT-t-tsune,ö uttered the kunoichi, utterly stunned.
ôSee you around, Tsune-chan!ö
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What happened immediately afterwards would require a full tactical debriefing for most of the genin participants to decipher.
Keiga charged toward the blond leaf-nin, ignoring any obstacles in his way, environmental or otherwise. He did not see the wire trap that entangled his legs sending him hurtling into Rintaro, leaving a tangled mess of limbs and awkward feelings on the floor.
Multiple puffs of smoke indicated the entrance of 5 kiri-nin exam proctors fully decked out in assault gear and white, featureless, full-face masks , surrounding the embarrassed duo of Rintaro and Keiga. The two genin tried to separate from their awkward, roughly missionary position embrace on the ground (Keiga being on top) but the fine steel blades drawn by the exam proctors quickly put an end to that endeavor.
ôPlease refrain from physical altercations outside of designated exam parameters,ö stated one of the proctors. The speakerÆs voice was modulated somehow, rendering his or her words as featureless as the masks they all wore.
ôFailure to comply with Mist chuunin competition guidelines can result in fines, expulsion, imprisonment, physical injury, and/or death,ö finished the masked Kiri-nin.
ôItÆs not my fault. I tripped over---ô argued the furious Kumo-nin. He looked at his feet.
The wires had vanished. He looked around the room, at the dispersed crowd.
The chestnut-haired girl he had frightened was nowhere to be found.
He saw the blond object of his ire at the far end of the room sitting on a table whistling disinterestedly with his fellow Konoha-nin looking concerned at the proceedings.
He was even twiddling his thumbs absentmindedly--- a classical portrait of nonchalant innocence.
KeigaÆs fists clenched in righteous fury.
ôKeiga. Control yourself,ö whispered Tsune fiercely, exasperated for the umpteenth time.
The taijutsu specialist took a number of deep breaths to center himself.
ôIà àI understand,ö he replied, choking out the words, heavy and bitter in his mouth.
At that, much like the wires and the mystery girl, the team of proctors vanished without a trace.
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Not far from the opening portion of the Mizukagure chuunin exam, the fifth Mizukage sat at her hardwood desk, glancing at an ornate bowl of water that a secret jutsu allowed her to use as a scrying pool. With her remote viewing, she witnessed the encounter between Kumo and Leaf-nin knowing full well that her proctors were outside of the exam room, some silently vigilant and some absentmindedly trading fishing tips the entire time.
For the first time in a long while, Terumi Mei laughed so had she felt like crying.
Whoever that Konoha-nin was, she had to get her intel division to provide a full dossier on him by the end of the day.
The participant list she had at her disposal listed three participants from Konoha. The prankster was not an Aburame or partnered with a beast, so he had to be one Uzumaki Naruto.
Hmm. This exam was getting intriguing.
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ôNaruto-kun, I canÆt believe you did that,ö remarked Aburame Shizuka, desperately trying to bury herself in her coat.
Naruto laughed boisterously.
ôI canÆt believe half the shit I do sometimes, but I do it anyway. I guess thatÆs my lot in life,ö shrugged Naruto, ôBeing awesome. SomeoneÆs got to do it, right?ô
ôI guess soàö whispered the younger female bug user, ôHmmàThere are times where I wish I was moreàahà outgoing like you, I suppose.ö
ôI wouldnÆt worry about that. YouÆre plenty awesome already. We can be awesome together---me, you, and Eiji. ItÆs not like I got a monopoly on it.ö
Shizuka nodded, rather enthusiastically by Aburame standards truth be told.
ôI wouldnÆt get too attached, girl,ö interrupted Keiga maintaining a mindful distance from the Konoha team. ôNext chance I get, Blondie, IÆll be shoving a lightning covered fist through your ribcage and fry you from the inside out.ö
Naruto chuckled wholeheartedly at some unfathomable inside joke, waving it off---promising to explain it to his teammates later.
ôPromises, promises. If youÆre aiming to be inside me, youÆll have to offer more than sweet nothings and a free dinner,ö quipped Naruto, fluttering his eyelashes with the best of them.
The muscular teen tensed, eyes bulging, veins raised.
ôI will murder you dead! You hear?ö stated Keiga simply before starting to walk away, unable to speak to the mouthy Konoha-nin further without violence.
ôYes. Yes. That is generally how that works. Uh. Have fun with that,ö finished Naruto, unable to resist getting a few kicks in to a downed opponent.
Inuuzuka Eiji just watched Naruto in wonderment, stating, ôNaruto-sempai, youÆre like some creature outta myth or somethingà Seriously, what the hell?
öShizuka just shook her head in disbelief.
ôHahaha. So, are you guys frigginÆ ready to ruin this exam for marriage or what?ö asked Naruto with a clap of his hands.
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The empty-hand combat specialist from Hidden Cloud just sat at a table with his teammates, head hung low in hands, whining, öThat fucking Leaf bastard made me look like a total fucking cunt!ö
ôHeh. To be fair, Keiga, you are a total--ö remarked Rintaro, before being interrupted.
ôComplete that sentence and youÆll be eating dinner through a straw,ö growled Keiga.
In his mind, Rintaro added, ôYouÆre a total fucking tool and I wish you all the worst things in life including but not limited to male-pattern baldness, testicular and colon cancers, and your children dying early ignoble deaths, you close-minded prick.ö
As was the case with many other ninja teams, Team Karui had a few kinks concerning teamwork that needed to be hammered out.
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End Snippet
Big Fish, Tiny Pond
Chapter 2: Balls. Balls Everywhere.
By BukkakeNoJutsu
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
ôLady, your lips are the most
Baby, your mouth is like a ghost
Lady, you think you're a champ but
Girl you ain't nothin' but a raw ramp. ô
-ôRaw Rampö by T-Rex
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Keiga saw red. Who the fuck did this weak-ass leaf nin think he was?
He was Keiga, nephew of the Raikage, taijutsu specialist from a long bloodline of named fighting men. Fuck this pretty boy. This piece-of-shit nobody.
Keiga charged.
The blond vanished in a puff of white smoke, indicative of a garden-variety body substitution technique, leaving behind a chesty brunette girl, her lustrous hair bound in a simple ponytail. Apparently from a minor village from the unfamiliar symbol on her forehead protector, her innocent looking brown eyes went wide with surprise. Noticing the momentum of KeigaÆs trajectory, the girl let out the most indignant, downright appalling, girlish shriek Keiga had ever had the displeasure to hear.
Much like a throbbing erection against a brick wall, the white-haired teen came to a dead stop.
Most of the kunoichi in the exam room let out a collective sigh at the sight of the girl completely losing her shit. This is why we canÆt have nice things, they thought. Fucking amateur.
KeigaÆs head swiveled side to side searching for his prey like a bloodhound. Keiga found him standing near his teammates, behind the mousy Rintaro, and next to the green-haired Tsune.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
ôIs your teammate always like this, Miss?ö questioned one of the competitors next to Tsune.
ôUhàunfortunately,ô sighed the archery specialist from the Village Hidden in Clouds, ôFuck my life.ö
ôMy condolences,ö offered her fellow competitor.
ôThanks,ö uttered Tsune turning to find the blond teen from Konoha who ruthlessly antagonized Keiga, greeting her with a friendly grin and a small wave.
ôNaruto. Nice to meet you,ö said the blue-eyed teen, unexpectedly taking her gloved hand to shake.
ôT-t-tsune,ö uttered the kunoichi, utterly stunned.
ôSee you around, Tsune-chan!ö
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
What happened immediately afterwards would require a full tactical debriefing for most of the genin participants to decipher.
Keiga charged toward the blond leaf-nin, ignoring any obstacles in his way, environmental or otherwise. He did not see the wire trap that entangled his legs sending him hurtling into Rintaro, leaving a tangled mess of limbs and awkward feelings on the floor.
Multiple puffs of smoke indicated the entrance of 5 kiri-nin exam proctors fully decked out in assault gear and white, featureless, full-face masks , surrounding the embarrassed duo of Rintaro and Keiga. The two genin tried to separate from their awkward, roughly missionary position embrace on the ground (Keiga being on top) but the fine steel blades drawn by the exam proctors quickly put an end to that endeavor.
ôPlease refrain from physical altercations outside of designated exam parameters,ö stated one of the proctors. The speakerÆs voice was modulated somehow, rendering his or her words as featureless as the masks they all wore.
ôFailure to comply with Mist chuunin competition guidelines can result in fines, expulsion, imprisonment, physical injury, and/or death,ö finished the masked Kiri-nin.
ôItÆs not my fault. I tripped over---ô argued the furious Kumo-nin. He looked at his feet.
The wires had vanished. He looked around the room, at the dispersed crowd.
The chestnut-haired girl he had frightened was nowhere to be found.
He saw the blond object of his ire at the far end of the room sitting on a table whistling disinterestedly with his fellow Konoha-nin looking concerned at the proceedings.
He was even twiddling his thumbs absentmindedly--- a classical portrait of nonchalant innocence.
KeigaÆs fists clenched in righteous fury.
ôKeiga. Control yourself,ö whispered Tsune fiercely, exasperated for the umpteenth time.
The taijutsu specialist took a number of deep breaths to center himself.
ôIà àI understand,ö he replied, choking out the words, heavy and bitter in his mouth.
At that, much like the wires and the mystery girl, the team of proctors vanished without a trace.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Not far from the opening portion of the Mizukagure chuunin exam, the fifth Mizukage sat at her hardwood desk, glancing at an ornate bowl of water that a secret jutsu allowed her to use as a scrying pool. With her remote viewing, she witnessed the encounter between Kumo and Leaf-nin knowing full well that her proctors were outside of the exam room, some silently vigilant and some absentmindedly trading fishing tips the entire time.
For the first time in a long while, Terumi Mei laughed so had she felt like crying.
Whoever that Konoha-nin was, she had to get her intel division to provide a full dossier on him by the end of the day.
The participant list she had at her disposal listed three participants from Konoha. The prankster was not an Aburame or partnered with a beast, so he had to be one Uzumaki Naruto.
Hmm. This exam was getting intriguing.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
ôNaruto-kun, I canÆt believe you did that,ö remarked Aburame Shizuka, desperately trying to bury herself in her coat.
Naruto laughed boisterously.
ôI canÆt believe half the shit I do sometimes, but I do it anyway. I guess thatÆs my lot in life,ö shrugged Naruto, ôBeing awesome. SomeoneÆs got to do it, right?ô
ôI guess soàö whispered the younger female bug user, ôHmmàThere are times where I wish I was moreàahà outgoing like you, I suppose.ö
ôI wouldnÆt worry about that. YouÆre plenty awesome already. We can be awesome together---me, you, and Eiji. ItÆs not like I got a monopoly on it.ö
Shizuka nodded, rather enthusiastically by Aburame standards truth be told.
ôI wouldnÆt get too attached, girl,ö interrupted Keiga maintaining a mindful distance from the Konoha team. ôNext chance I get, Blondie, IÆll be shoving a lightning covered fist through your ribcage and fry you from the inside out.ö
Naruto chuckled wholeheartedly at some unfathomable inside joke, waving it off---promising to explain it to his teammates later.
ôPromises, promises. If youÆre aiming to be inside me, youÆll have to offer more than sweet nothings and a free dinner,ö quipped Naruto, fluttering his eyelashes with the best of them.
The muscular teen tensed, eyes bulging, veins raised.
ôI will murder you dead! You hear?ö stated Keiga simply before starting to walk away, unable to speak to the mouthy Konoha-nin further without violence.
ôYes. Yes. That is generally how that works. Uh. Have fun with that,ö finished Naruto, unable to resist getting a few kicks in to a downed opponent.
Inuuzuka Eiji just watched Naruto in wonderment, stating, ôNaruto-sempai, youÆre like some creature outta myth or somethingà Seriously, what the hell?
öShizuka just shook her head in disbelief.
ôHahaha. So, are you guys frigginÆ ready to ruin this exam for marriage or what?ö asked Naruto with a clap of his hands.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The empty-hand combat specialist from Hidden Cloud just sat at a table with his teammates, head hung low in hands, whining, öThat fucking Leaf bastard made me look like a total fucking cunt!ö
ôHeh. To be fair, Keiga, you are a total--ö remarked Rintaro, before being interrupted.
ôComplete that sentence and youÆll be eating dinner through a straw,ö growled Keiga.
In his mind, Rintaro added, ôYouÆre a total fucking tool and I wish you all the worst things in life including but not limited to male-pattern baldness, testicular and colon cancers, and your children dying early ignoble deaths, you close-minded prick.ö
As was the case with many other ninja teams, Team Karui had a few kinks concerning teamwork that needed to be hammered out.
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End Snippet
