BtVS Random Ideas Topic
- Thread starter Prince Charon
- Start date
As amazing of an idea that sounds, you'd have to have the patience and following of someone like Tenhawk and his Journeyverse to pull it off in full form and a ton of people backing you up from each of the fandoms for factchecking. No way in heck could most authors have that many balls in the air, and parallel things going on at the same time... unless you did it in 20truths format for each cross, or maybe in like a "Ten times the Multiverse Imploded"- and have ten scenes for each crossover.
Don't get me wrong, I'd love to see it done, but you'd have to frame out exactly how you'd want them to interact with each other so you would retcon yourself, and you would really need to limit yourself lest you end up with a fanfiction version of Wheel of Time where it's just so damn massive.
Seriously though, if you think you could work it, it'd be awesome to read about.
Don't get me wrong, I'd love to see it done, but you'd have to frame out exactly how you'd want them to interact with each other so you would retcon yourself, and you would really need to limit yourself lest you end up with a fanfiction version of Wheel of Time where it's just so damn massive.
Seriously though, if you think you could work it, it'd be awesome to read about.
Yet Another Halloween Idea.
All the Scoobies (and some others, thanks of a certain norse god of chaos and mischief aka Loki. And he has even, for this event, wored the HORNED CAP of his Marvelverse incarnation. Plus some Snyder trolling) take their costumes from Ethan. And, using a 'group discount', manage to stay in a reasonable price.
What costumes? Coslay ones. Series? FATE/STAY NIGHT.
Here are my combinations:
Willow: Bazette Fraga McRemitz.
Angel: Lancer/CuChulainn.
Buffy: Saber/Arthuria.
Xander: Soichiro Kuzuki.
Spike: GARcher/EMIYA.
Drusilla: Arcerko/Illya
Dawn: Dark Sakura
Cordelia: Rin Tohsaka.
Does it appeal the fandom?
All the Scoobies (and some others, thanks of a certain norse god of chaos and mischief aka Loki. And he has even, for this event, wored the HORNED CAP of his Marvelverse incarnation. Plus some Snyder trolling) take their costumes from Ethan. And, using a 'group discount', manage to stay in a reasonable price.
What costumes? Coslay ones. Series? FATE/STAY NIGHT.
Here are my combinations:
Willow: Bazette Fraga McRemitz.
Angel: Lancer/CuChulainn.
Buffy: Saber/Arthuria.
Xander: Soichiro Kuzuki.
Spike: GARcher/EMIYA.
Drusilla: Arcerko/Illya
Dawn: Dark Sakura
Cordelia: Rin Tohsaka.
Does it appeal the fandom?
Things like that irritate me. The scooby gang's use of culture references are almost specifically US-dominated with very rare instances of referencing anything made outside of America. Not only that, but the Halloween episode takes place in 97 which is like ~8 years before fate/stay was released.
But having said that.... why the hell are Dawn, Cordellia, Spike and Drusilla included in this list? Even if the gang got a group discount or whatever; Dawn doesn't exist, Cordellia wants nothing to do with them and the other two are evil vampires. :huh:
There are so many interesting things you can do with the existing material that a hamfisted crossover like that shouldn't be necessary. Maybe Xander finds some cheap suit and dresses like the amusing demon hunter <a href='http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_minor_Buffy_the_Vampire_Slayer_characters#Sid_the_Dummy' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>sid the dummy</a>. Maybe Buffy decides to be extra careful and take along a few stakes with her dress and becomes an 18th century aristocrat slayer because of it. Hell, a great fic could start with Giles simply finding Ethan's shop by chance before he has time to cast the spell.... dunno just seems like a lame attempt at 'shoving' fate/stay into the Buffyverse in my opinion.
Though, if you can write well then ignore me because it could turn out to be an awesome fic.
But having said that.... why the hell are Dawn, Cordellia, Spike and Drusilla included in this list? Even if the gang got a group discount or whatever; Dawn doesn't exist, Cordellia wants nothing to do with them and the other two are evil vampires. :huh:
There are so many interesting things you can do with the existing material that a hamfisted crossover like that shouldn't be necessary. Maybe Xander finds some cheap suit and dresses like the amusing demon hunter <a href='http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_minor_Buffy_the_Vampire_Slayer_characters#Sid_the_Dummy' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>sid the dummy</a>. Maybe Buffy decides to be extra careful and take along a few stakes with her dress and becomes an 18th century aristocrat slayer because of it. Hell, a great fic could start with Giles simply finding Ethan's shop by chance before he has time to cast the spell.... dunno just seems like a lame attempt at 'shoving' fate/stay into the Buffyverse in my opinion.
Though, if you can write well then ignore me because it could turn out to be an awesome fic.
Okay, this will have to play with a couple of timelines, but what the hell? I've read several BtVS crossovers where Xander is a cousin or a love interest for Wednesday, or something. Even one where he was a fourth Addams child. Heck, I'm writing a Xander as Wednesday's cousin one set at the end of the musical right now.
But, what if we take things a different way? What is Xander was in fact not an elder sibling or cousin, but the younger brother? What if Xander was in fact <a href='http://addamsfamily.wikia.com/wiki/Pubert_Addams' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Pubert Addams</a>?
I'm thinking that whatever made Pubert temporarily "normal" in the second movie had longer lasting effects than anyone realized, and by the time Pubert was three or four it was painfully obvious he could not continue to survive Wednesday's and Pugsley's idea of "playtime" even with his uncanny ability to escape death traps without trying to. Of course Gomez and Morticia still love their tragically crippled son and don't want to see him dead, so they ship him off to distant family to protect him from his "disability." These relatives adopt Pubert and rename him Alexander Harris. One year later he starts kindergarten and meets Willow and Jesse. The rest is history.
At least, it is until his wedding to just after his failed wedding to Anya when Wednesday shows up to find out why Pubert's REAL family wasn't even invited to the wedding...
But, what if we take things a different way? What is Xander was in fact not an elder sibling or cousin, but the younger brother? What if Xander was in fact <a href='http://addamsfamily.wikia.com/wiki/Pubert_Addams' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Pubert Addams</a>?
I'm thinking that whatever made Pubert temporarily "normal" in the second movie had longer lasting effects than anyone realized, and by the time Pubert was three or four it was painfully obvious he could not continue to survive Wednesday's and Pugsley's idea of "playtime" even with his uncanny ability to escape death traps without trying to. Of course Gomez and Morticia still love their tragically crippled son and don't want to see him dead, so they ship him off to distant family to protect him from his "disability." These relatives adopt Pubert and rename him Alexander Harris. One year later he starts kindergarten and meets Willow and Jesse. The rest is history.
At least, it is until his wedding to just after his failed wedding to Anya when Wednesday shows up to find out why Pubert's REAL family wasn't even invited to the wedding...
The first warning Xander had that someone was in his apartment when he arrived home from work was a deadly monotone voice from the shadows. "Hello, little brother."
Xander thought he could feel five years being torn from his live as he saw what looked like a pale feminine face floating in the blackness of the room before he turned on the lights. What looked at first like some kind of malevolent ghost was in fact a woman in her early thirties in a conservative, if tight, black dress. It took a moment as he felt his heart restart at the sight of her to realize that the person there was probably more dangerous than any evil spirit. "Wednesday," he finally whispered.
"Pubert," Wednesday greeted back coolly.
"That's Xander. Alexander if you can't bring yourself to use a nickname," Xander corrected as he seemed to regain his mental bearings at the sight of his elder birth-sister.
"Not to me. Or to the rest of us," Wednesday commented as she finally stepped out of the corner of the living room where she had awaited his return to look over what she could see of the life of her youngest brother was living from what was in his apartment. She had to say that if she had still been the Wednesday she had been at fifteen she would have been horrified by everything there but the copious amounts of medieval weapons.
"It's who I am now," Xander pressed.
"Only on paper. You'll always be Pubert Addams. Never forget that," Wednesday replied with a glare.
"Cheery as ever, I see," Xander replied with a roll of his eyes. "Do you want something to drink? I think I have some drain cleaner under the sink you could stomach."
Wednesday's tiny smirk would have sent a full grown Polgara demon running at the offer as she replied, "A coffee or some tea would be fine."
Xander nodded as he moved to make a pot of coffee before he asked, "So why are you here? Other than a few letters from Mother I don't hear from many Addamses these days."
"You still call her Mother?" Wednesday asked, surprised.
"She's "Mother." Jessica Harris is "Mom." Makes it easier to deal with in my head," Xander explained.
"It would make our parents so happy to hear you say that," Wednesday noted.
"Happy enough to not toss me away to the most distant relatives they could find because I was different?" Xander asked bitterly.
"You know that wasn't why. You would have died. They couldn't bear that," Wednesday defended.
"When a new baby comes, one of the kids has to die. That was the rule wasn't it?" Xander asked sarcastically.
"You were remarkably skilled at avoiding that as a baby. It's not our fault you... faded," Wednesday replied with the barest hint of regret.
"Yeah, well, I've learned to deal with being treated like I was made of glass and put aside for "my safety" for being normal over the years. You guys did a great job of preparing me for it when Buffy and Willow started doing the same thing here," Xander spat.
Wednesday's face looked murderous for a moment before she schooled itself back to neutrality.
The pair started at each o0ther for what seemed like minutes before Xander growled, "No, Wednesday. It's not your concern and we settled it a long time ago. Back off."
"Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc," Wednesday replied in a deadpan.
"We gladly feast on those who would subdue us," Xander translated in an equally dead tone. "Except they're my friends and they didn't subdue anything. It's been put to bed and I won't have you hurting my friends over old teenaged angst," he added as he poured her a mug of coffee and made one for himself.
"No cream and sugar?" Wednesday asked after a moment.
"Seriously?" Xander asked in surprise.
"Blame my husband. I married a normal, remember," Wednesday replied with a small shrug.
"Fair enough," Xander replied before getting some milk and sugar for his sister.
"You missed the wedding," Wednesday said as she finished preparing her coffee to her liking.
"I was ten, and I was still having nightmares about the incident. Besides Mom and Dad said no," Xander explained.
"I can take Cousin Jessica being "Mom" for you but please refrain from being so familiar with that drunken idiot around me, Pubert," Wednesday warned.
"Tony isn't much, but he was good to me when I was little. He just yells a lot," Xander replied.
"He knew what Mother and Father would do to him if he hurt you. That just proves he has survival instincts," Wednesday countered.
"Yeah, well I doubt you were here to dredge up ancient history. Why are you in my living room, Wednesday?" Xander asked after a moment to try to get back to the original point of the conversation.
"You missed my wedding. I don't want to miss yours. And I'm not like Mother and Father willing to let you cut yourself off from us and "respect your freedom." They want to come, too," Wednesday commented.
Xander choked and coughed on his coffee as he had back a full fledged spit-take at Wednesday's words. "Are you serious?"
"Always," Wednesday confirmed. "Not the whole Clan, of course. Just Mother and Father. And Uncle Fester. And Pugsley. And Lurch. Maybe Cousin Itt and his wife. And Whatt. And my husband and kids, obviously."
"Yeah, that's nothing major. Why don't you bring along Aunt Ophelia while you're at it?" Xander sarcastically responded.
"I'm sure she'd be delighted," Wednesday shot back tonelessly.
"Wednesday, do you really think that this would be anything approaching a good idea?" Xander asked in a pleading tone.
"Are we any worse than the demons your fiancee will invite?" Wednesday asked with a raised eyebrow that would put Mr. Spock to shame.
"Usually," Xander shot back in a deadpan.
"We'll behave ourselves," Wednesday retorted.
Xander stared into the eyes of his older sister for a full minute before he sighed and conceded, "Just try to keep things low key."
"You don't know how happy this will make everyone... Xander," Wednesday said as a small attempt at making amends.
"Just promise me it will stay low key. It will be hard enough to explain that the Harris' adopted me already. Promise me no explosions or anything like that at the wedding," Xander pleaded.
"You'll get one normal night, little brother. I promise," Wednesday swore. And if we happen to research some things related to what we heard about you surviving getting hit with a troll hammer, by the troll himself no less, without getting hurt then so much the better, Wednesday added in her head as she sipped her coffee.
Xander thought he could feel five years being torn from his live as he saw what looked like a pale feminine face floating in the blackness of the room before he turned on the lights. What looked at first like some kind of malevolent ghost was in fact a woman in her early thirties in a conservative, if tight, black dress. It took a moment as he felt his heart restart at the sight of her to realize that the person there was probably more dangerous than any evil spirit. "Wednesday," he finally whispered.
"Pubert," Wednesday greeted back coolly.
"That's Xander. Alexander if you can't bring yourself to use a nickname," Xander corrected as he seemed to regain his mental bearings at the sight of his elder birth-sister.
"Not to me. Or to the rest of us," Wednesday commented as she finally stepped out of the corner of the living room where she had awaited his return to look over what she could see of the life of her youngest brother was living from what was in his apartment. She had to say that if she had still been the Wednesday she had been at fifteen she would have been horrified by everything there but the copious amounts of medieval weapons.
"It's who I am now," Xander pressed.
"Only on paper. You'll always be Pubert Addams. Never forget that," Wednesday replied with a glare.
"Cheery as ever, I see," Xander replied with a roll of his eyes. "Do you want something to drink? I think I have some drain cleaner under the sink you could stomach."
Wednesday's tiny smirk would have sent a full grown Polgara demon running at the offer as she replied, "A coffee or some tea would be fine."
Xander nodded as he moved to make a pot of coffee before he asked, "So why are you here? Other than a few letters from Mother I don't hear from many Addamses these days."
"You still call her Mother?" Wednesday asked, surprised.
"She's "Mother." Jessica Harris is "Mom." Makes it easier to deal with in my head," Xander explained.
"It would make our parents so happy to hear you say that," Wednesday noted.
"Happy enough to not toss me away to the most distant relatives they could find because I was different?" Xander asked bitterly.
"You know that wasn't why. You would have died. They couldn't bear that," Wednesday defended.
"When a new baby comes, one of the kids has to die. That was the rule wasn't it?" Xander asked sarcastically.
"You were remarkably skilled at avoiding that as a baby. It's not our fault you... faded," Wednesday replied with the barest hint of regret.
"Yeah, well, I've learned to deal with being treated like I was made of glass and put aside for "my safety" for being normal over the years. You guys did a great job of preparing me for it when Buffy and Willow started doing the same thing here," Xander spat.
Wednesday's face looked murderous for a moment before she schooled itself back to neutrality.
The pair started at each o0ther for what seemed like minutes before Xander growled, "No, Wednesday. It's not your concern and we settled it a long time ago. Back off."
"Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc," Wednesday replied in a deadpan.
"We gladly feast on those who would subdue us," Xander translated in an equally dead tone. "Except they're my friends and they didn't subdue anything. It's been put to bed and I won't have you hurting my friends over old teenaged angst," he added as he poured her a mug of coffee and made one for himself.
"No cream and sugar?" Wednesday asked after a moment.
"Seriously?" Xander asked in surprise.
"Blame my husband. I married a normal, remember," Wednesday replied with a small shrug.
"Fair enough," Xander replied before getting some milk and sugar for his sister.
"You missed the wedding," Wednesday said as she finished preparing her coffee to her liking.
"I was ten, and I was still having nightmares about the incident. Besides Mom and Dad said no," Xander explained.
"I can take Cousin Jessica being "Mom" for you but please refrain from being so familiar with that drunken idiot around me, Pubert," Wednesday warned.
"Tony isn't much, but he was good to me when I was little. He just yells a lot," Xander replied.
"He knew what Mother and Father would do to him if he hurt you. That just proves he has survival instincts," Wednesday countered.
"Yeah, well I doubt you were here to dredge up ancient history. Why are you in my living room, Wednesday?" Xander asked after a moment to try to get back to the original point of the conversation.
"You missed my wedding. I don't want to miss yours. And I'm not like Mother and Father willing to let you cut yourself off from us and "respect your freedom." They want to come, too," Wednesday commented.
Xander choked and coughed on his coffee as he had back a full fledged spit-take at Wednesday's words. "Are you serious?"
"Always," Wednesday confirmed. "Not the whole Clan, of course. Just Mother and Father. And Uncle Fester. And Pugsley. And Lurch. Maybe Cousin Itt and his wife. And Whatt. And my husband and kids, obviously."
"Yeah, that's nothing major. Why don't you bring along Aunt Ophelia while you're at it?" Xander sarcastically responded.
"I'm sure she'd be delighted," Wednesday shot back tonelessly.
"Wednesday, do you really think that this would be anything approaching a good idea?" Xander asked in a pleading tone.
"Are we any worse than the demons your fiancee will invite?" Wednesday asked with a raised eyebrow that would put Mr. Spock to shame.
"Usually," Xander shot back in a deadpan.
"We'll behave ourselves," Wednesday retorted.
Xander stared into the eyes of his older sister for a full minute before he sighed and conceded, "Just try to keep things low key."
"You don't know how happy this will make everyone... Xander," Wednesday said as a small attempt at making amends.
"Just promise me it will stay low key. It will be hard enough to explain that the Harris' adopted me already. Promise me no explosions or anything like that at the wedding," Xander pleaded.
"You'll get one normal night, little brother. I promise," Wednesday swore. And if we happen to research some things related to what we heard about you surviving getting hit with a troll hammer, by the troll himself no less, without getting hurt then so much the better, Wednesday added in her head as she sipped her coffee.
I honestly think this one would be more interesting to read but I'd rather see this from a much more in depth stance. Like see how this changed Xander's personality (cause he a god-damn Addams) by comparison to how he normally is in the Buffy story..
Just having Xander BEING Pubert and waving it off as nothing well we never see his great escape attempts in Buffy so that would have to change. A Pubert!Xander should be able to give Houdini a bad rep and that would be hilarious and well pretty awesome as too how the buffy story could change. All those times the bad guys think they've cornered or captured Xander? Nope, thrown out. Hell you coudl even play it for laughs or some serious moments.
Giles- "My Lord! Xander, how did you escape?!"
Xander- "Oh don't worry about it, you know nothing can keep me caged."
Giles- "You got sucked into a HELL DIMENSION!! That doesn't make any sense now see here you, you are going to tel- now where did that boy vanish off too?"
Just having Xander BEING Pubert and waving it off as nothing well we never see his great escape attempts in Buffy so that would have to change. A Pubert!Xander should be able to give Houdini a bad rep and that would be hilarious and well pretty awesome as too how the buffy story could change. All those times the bad guys think they've cornered or captured Xander? Nope, thrown out. Hell you coudl even play it for laughs or some serious moments.
Giles- "My Lord! Xander, how did you escape?!"
Xander- "Oh don't worry about it, you know nothing can keep me caged."
Giles- "You got sucked into a HELL DIMENSION!! That doesn't make any sense now see here you, you are going to tel- now where did that boy vanish off too?"
The thing with Pubert though, was that he wasn't trying to escape everything. With the exception of the guillotine, it seemed that he was just in the right place in the right time to get things done. Kind of like how Xander just happened to be in the Library when Buffy first confronted Giles about the local vampires. Or how he and Cordelia just happened to be there when Oz attacked the local Lover's Lane to learn there was a werewolf on the loose. Honestly, Xander tended to escape everything through a convenient plot device often enough to back up him being Pubert.
Hell, Angel managed to show up to save him and the others from the gas in the boiler room the Marcie used to try to kill them. In the daytime. While Angel was there to give Giles a book. Tell me that isn't random luck keeping him alive. All this does is suggest that you could add even more danger than normal and Xander would still implausibly live. Just. Like. Pubert.
Xander was sitting in front of a cold cup of coffee long after Wednesday left, insisting she had to get back to her husband a kids before Gomez and Morticia tried to spoil their grandchildren rotten without her there to keep things under control. She promised to return the next day to meet Anya and try to give Xander a better idea of just how many more seats would be needed for the wedding.
"Xander? Why are you sitting in the dark looking at a cup of coffee? Is something wrong?" Anya asked when she discovered him an hour after Wednesday had left.
Maybe because the Dark is where I belong, Xander thought morosely to himself as he looked up at Anya with a haunted look in his eyes."
"Xander?" Anya asked, even more concerned at the sight of his face.
Her worry seemed to snap Xander out of his funk a bit as he sighed and responded, "It's nothing Ahn. Well, not nothing. It's definitely something. Something of the big, even," Xander babbled as he tried to think of how to explain what he was about to tell his fiance.
"What is it?" Ahn asked as she moved to stand beside her man and rub his back in a comforting manner.
"I was just contacted by some relatives I haven't seen in a very long time. They want to come to the wedding," Xander explained.
"Okayyy?" Anya prodded with a frown. "Are they unpleasant? Will they not bring gifts? Are they shiftless layabouts that will want to mooch off of us while they're here?"
Xander let out a mirthless chuckle as he responded, "They're richer than Cousin Rigby and his family by more than I could count and would probably buy us anything I asked them for without even thinking about the cost."
"Then are they abusive? Violent? Mentally ill?" Anya asked.
Yes, but only if you ask them to be. Or try to hurt them, Xander responded mentally as he sighed and said, "It's nothing like that. I don;t think they'd try to ruin the wedding or anything."
"Then what is it? What has you so bothered?" Anya asked.
"Ahn, have ever talked about our pasts? Way back I mean? Like out childhoods?" Xander asked.
"No. Well I know all about your time in Sunnydale High of course, but nothing more than that. Why?" Anya asked, confused.
"Did I ever tell you I wasn't born in Sunnydale? Or that I was adopted?" Xander asked resignedly.
"What?! Seriously?" Anya demanded, her eyes wide. This was something she had never heard before. And she was wondering just why she was only hearing about something like that now?
"I tried not to think of it much growing up. My parents, by birth parents, sent me to live with Mom and Dad when I was four," Xander explained with a far off look in his eye.
"But... why did they send you away? Why were you with Tony and Jessica?" Anya asked.
"To protect me, supposedly. You see, by my family standards I'm not... normal. I'm basically a cripple really. They were afraid my older brother and sister would kill me if I stayed with them. So they sent me to the most distant cousin they could find, Jessica Harris. She and her husband adopted me and I became Alexander Lavelle Harris. I guess I was always someone that needed to stay fray adjacent, even as a toddler," Xander snorted.
"What do you mean? I don't understand," Anya responded with a concerned look.
"You know how most of your friends and family are basically demons? Like Hallie?" Xander asked.
"Yes?" Anya responded uncertainly.
"Mine are... were... something else. And I used to be like them. Strange. Different. Then something happened to me and I wasn't anymore. I was normal. I could get hurt. And they sent me away to protect me, supposedly," Xander explained. "It happened one other time when I was only a couple of moths old, from what they said. I changed totally that time, didn't even look like me, because of something to do with my Uncle being taken away from us and my siblings being sent to camp. I was some kind of curly-headed blond kid instead of how I looked before. I didn't really understand it. Still don't. But things were fixed and I was normal again after my Uncle came home. Their version of normal, anyway. Then, just after I turned four I started to change again, but not as bad. It was like I was stuck half way. I still looked like I always did, except for my mustache falling out, but suddenly I could get hurt. I didn't heal like everyone else. I could eat the stuff the rest of the family did but I craved things like ice cream and peanut butter and jelly. I was... stuck in the middle from what I was born as and what I could become. It was like I faded and became less than before. So, they sent me away."
"Xander, I still don't understand. Who are you parents?" Anya asked.
Xander took a deep breath before he finally marshaled up his courage and asked, "Do the names Gomez and Morticia Addams mean anything to you?"
Anya took a couple of moments to process his question before she shrieked, "You're an ADDAMS?!"
"Technically. On paper. Or I was. Now I'm a Harris," Xander replied with a tiny grin of defiance.
"But...but there were only supposed to be two Addams children to the main line of the family. And every one of Lord D'Hoffryn's servants knew to avoid them. I... no WONDER Cordelia's wish got so messed up," Anya muttered. "Wait. There was supposed to be a third child that vanished. Nobody ever said what happened but it was still big news in the supernatural community. Are you telling me you're-?" Anya asked in shock.
"Pubert Addams. Or at least that's the name Mother and Father gave me. And now Wednesday went and showed up here earlier today to inform me she was upset that I missed her wedding years ago and that all of my close family wants to come to ours," Xander filled in with a resigned sigh. "Honey, tomorrow you can take a guess who's coming to dinner."
Hell, Angel managed to show up to save him and the others from the gas in the boiler room the Marcie used to try to kill them. In the daytime. While Angel was there to give Giles a book. Tell me that isn't random luck keeping him alive. All this does is suggest that you could add even more danger than normal and Xander would still implausibly live. Just. Like. Pubert.
Xander was sitting in front of a cold cup of coffee long after Wednesday left, insisting she had to get back to her husband a kids before Gomez and Morticia tried to spoil their grandchildren rotten without her there to keep things under control. She promised to return the next day to meet Anya and try to give Xander a better idea of just how many more seats would be needed for the wedding.
"Xander? Why are you sitting in the dark looking at a cup of coffee? Is something wrong?" Anya asked when she discovered him an hour after Wednesday had left.
Maybe because the Dark is where I belong, Xander thought morosely to himself as he looked up at Anya with a haunted look in his eyes."
"Xander?" Anya asked, even more concerned at the sight of his face.
Her worry seemed to snap Xander out of his funk a bit as he sighed and responded, "It's nothing Ahn. Well, not nothing. It's definitely something. Something of the big, even," Xander babbled as he tried to think of how to explain what he was about to tell his fiance.
"What is it?" Ahn asked as she moved to stand beside her man and rub his back in a comforting manner.
"I was just contacted by some relatives I haven't seen in a very long time. They want to come to the wedding," Xander explained.
"Okayyy?" Anya prodded with a frown. "Are they unpleasant? Will they not bring gifts? Are they shiftless layabouts that will want to mooch off of us while they're here?"
Xander let out a mirthless chuckle as he responded, "They're richer than Cousin Rigby and his family by more than I could count and would probably buy us anything I asked them for without even thinking about the cost."
"Then are they abusive? Violent? Mentally ill?" Anya asked.
Yes, but only if you ask them to be. Or try to hurt them, Xander responded mentally as he sighed and said, "It's nothing like that. I don;t think they'd try to ruin the wedding or anything."
"Then what is it? What has you so bothered?" Anya asked.
"Ahn, have ever talked about our pasts? Way back I mean? Like out childhoods?" Xander asked.
"No. Well I know all about your time in Sunnydale High of course, but nothing more than that. Why?" Anya asked, confused.
"Did I ever tell you I wasn't born in Sunnydale? Or that I was adopted?" Xander asked resignedly.
"What?! Seriously?" Anya demanded, her eyes wide. This was something she had never heard before. And she was wondering just why she was only hearing about something like that now?
"I tried not to think of it much growing up. My parents, by birth parents, sent me to live with Mom and Dad when I was four," Xander explained with a far off look in his eye.
"But... why did they send you away? Why were you with Tony and Jessica?" Anya asked.
"To protect me, supposedly. You see, by my family standards I'm not... normal. I'm basically a cripple really. They were afraid my older brother and sister would kill me if I stayed with them. So they sent me to the most distant cousin they could find, Jessica Harris. She and her husband adopted me and I became Alexander Lavelle Harris. I guess I was always someone that needed to stay fray adjacent, even as a toddler," Xander snorted.
"What do you mean? I don't understand," Anya responded with a concerned look.
"You know how most of your friends and family are basically demons? Like Hallie?" Xander asked.
"Yes?" Anya responded uncertainly.
"Mine are... were... something else. And I used to be like them. Strange. Different. Then something happened to me and I wasn't anymore. I was normal. I could get hurt. And they sent me away to protect me, supposedly," Xander explained. "It happened one other time when I was only a couple of moths old, from what they said. I changed totally that time, didn't even look like me, because of something to do with my Uncle being taken away from us and my siblings being sent to camp. I was some kind of curly-headed blond kid instead of how I looked before. I didn't really understand it. Still don't. But things were fixed and I was normal again after my Uncle came home. Their version of normal, anyway. Then, just after I turned four I started to change again, but not as bad. It was like I was stuck half way. I still looked like I always did, except for my mustache falling out, but suddenly I could get hurt. I didn't heal like everyone else. I could eat the stuff the rest of the family did but I craved things like ice cream and peanut butter and jelly. I was... stuck in the middle from what I was born as and what I could become. It was like I faded and became less than before. So, they sent me away."
"Xander, I still don't understand. Who are you parents?" Anya asked.
Xander took a deep breath before he finally marshaled up his courage and asked, "Do the names Gomez and Morticia Addams mean anything to you?"
Anya took a couple of moments to process his question before she shrieked, "You're an ADDAMS?!"
"Technically. On paper. Or I was. Now I'm a Harris," Xander replied with a tiny grin of defiance.
"But...but there were only supposed to be two Addams children to the main line of the family. And every one of Lord D'Hoffryn's servants knew to avoid them. I... no WONDER Cordelia's wish got so messed up," Anya muttered. "Wait. There was supposed to be a third child that vanished. Nobody ever said what happened but it was still big news in the supernatural community. Are you telling me you're-?" Anya asked in shock.
"Pubert Addams. Or at least that's the name Mother and Father gave me. And now Wednesday went and showed up here earlier today to inform me she was upset that I missed her wedding years ago and that all of my close family wants to come to ours," Xander filled in with a resigned sigh. "Honey, tomorrow you can take a guess who's coming to dinner."
This would be a valid point except for the fact that it's clear vampires have compromised rib cages. Just look at Jesse barely being bumped into Xander's stake being enough to kill him. We can maybe say that slayers have enough strength to shove a stake through a vamp's heart, but think about it; regular people holding it by the shaft and shoving a pointy end into somebody's chest; the normal reaction is for the shaft to maybe puncture a bit, but the hand is just going to slide forward on the shaft and you'll really end up punching the vampire in the chest.
That this isn't what happens for people of typical strength means that vampires have very soft chests in BtVS, or that there's a mystical component of the wood that makes it easier to penetrate.
That this isn't what happens for people of typical strength means that vampires have very soft chests in BtVS, or that there's a mystical component of the wood that makes it easier to penetrate.
it could work.
ya that was the only thing that bugged me about the show at first, I know how much force you'd need to pull something like that off, you'd have to put your whole body into it. There's a reason after all why Bram Stoker had Hellsing use a hammer. How Jessie died was too comical to my taste. It would be more appropriate to think a petrified wooden knife would be easier for a regular human to use than a stake, hell they are both basically wood - their both dead wood so I don't see how it would make a difference except one has been dead for far longer.
ya that was the only thing that bugged me about the show at first, I know how much force you'd need to pull something like that off, you'd have to put your whole body into it. There's a reason after all why Bram Stoker had Hellsing use a hammer. How Jessie died was too comical to my taste. It would be more appropriate to think a petrified wooden knife would be easier for a regular human to use than a stake, hell they are both basically wood - their both dead wood so I don't see how it would make a difference except one has been dead for far longer.
Wednesday let out a contented sigh as she sipped a cup of tea that was actually smoking a bit. Hmm, arsenic, cyanide, some of Grandmama's secret recipe tea, and a twist of lemon. Lucas knows just how to brew it the way I like it, she thought to herself with a placid expression. For all that her in-laws would always be outsiders to the Clan, Lucas had truly been a diamond in the rough for her. And her children, Calpurnia and Jesse, were a source of joy that the eldest child of Morticia and Gomez Addams had never thought existed until she experienced that joy for herself. From the day little Callie had clawed her way out of Wednesday, she had adored her little devil of a girl. And her little hellraiser of a son just added to the feeling.
Wednesday allowed her smile to grow just a bit more as she heard the telltale sound of a guillotine blade being raised coming from upstairs. The fully furnished home Father and Uncle Fester had purchased for them while they were visiting (well actually it was supposed to be part of the wedding gifts for Puber-Xander and his bride-to-be but Wednesday and her family were residing there as she acted as the emissary for the family for now) had all the comforts of home, including a fully stocked playroom. She felt a wave of nostalgia his her as she called out, "Children? What are you doing up there?"
The "innocent" reply of "Playing" from her little boy and girl sounded so much like herself and Pugsley growing up that it could well have come straight from a time twenty two years ago when they played "Marie Antoinette" with little Pubert. She would never admit it then, but the way he had grabbed and stopped the blade at such a young age had been rather impressive. "Woe to the Republic" she muttered to herself as recalled that day so long ago and listened to the blade dropping upstairs, followed by a rustling that said Jesse had escaped his sister's attempt to decapitate him.
Lucas sighed as he made his way in to the dining room to sit with his wife as he heard a rather loud thump upstairs. "Should I see to that or are we going to let them tire themselves out?" he asked.
"Let them get it out of their systems. I want them to behave at their Uncle's tomorrow. Even if he could take their behavior his fiancee might not like it," Wednesday explained.
"So basically, make them act like they're visiting my parents," Lucas elaborated.
"Exactly," Wednesday agreed with the smile she reserved for her husband alone.
"Di?" Lucas asked, using the pet name he had given Wednesday the first day they met. The day she came out of the woods in Central Park, crossbow in hand, looking for all the world like Diana the huntress made flesh. He waited for Wednesday to quirk her eyebrow at his inquiry before he continued, "How did it go? With Pubert today, I mean?"
"Xander. Or Alexander. He... prefers that name now I suppose," Wednesday corrected with a small snort of contempt.
"Well that is the name he's been living under for the last eighteen years of his life. It's kind of to be expected," Lucas said by way of consolation. "But if we're seeing him tomorrow I take it things went well?"
"He was afraid of me," Wednesday replied, upset with herself over how much that fact bothered her. She used to LIVE for making people fear her. Married life had obviously mellowed her more than she would ever admit. "I could see it on his face. But only at first. He may not have been raised as one, but he's still an Addams. He wouldn't let anyone keep him down for long. Not even me. And he did agree to let the family come to the wedding. I promised we'd behave. That we'd give him a normal night."
"One normal night, huh? That worked out so well the night we introduced our parents to each other, didn't it?" Lucas asked with a crooked grin.
"As I recall, it was your Mother drinking the Acrimonium Pugsley tried to slip me that started the problems," Wednesday responded as close a tone to flippant as she could achieve.
"I think we were doomed the moment you decided to buy a yellow sundress to try impress my mother. Black is much more your color," Lucas shot back with a smile.
"I suppose it is. And it looks especially good pooled on the floor in the bedroom later," Wednesday said with a look that promised a passionate evening when the children were in bed.
"I'll hold you to that," Lucas assured her as he moved in and kissed her deeply. He finally broke contact and leaned back in his seat before he added, "But for now, Xander is the issue here. How did he look?"
"Healthy. Mother will be appalled at the light tan he has and at his choice of clothes. His apartment looked a little like our first place together before we got settled and had the kids. He really does seem to still live in two worlds. Although most of that is because of his friends," Wednesday reported. "He still seemed... upset."
"You guys did it to protect him, Wednes. He has to understand that," Lucas mildly protested.
"That still doesn't make it right. And it didn't help that the Slayer and the redheaded witch tried to 'protect' him too while they were all in high school. I think it just tore at old wounds for him. Made him even more upset with us, " Wednesday replied with a scowl.
"You can't blame them for what they had no idea about, hon," Lucas said as he recognized the look in his wife's eye. That look had a nasty habit of ending up with a body buried in the bog after she was finished.
"Must you be the reasonable one all the time?" Wednesday complained with a sideways glance at her husband.
"One of us has to. Saves us on aggravation and payoffs with the local authorities," Lucas replied with a shrug. His thoughts were interrupted as the lights seemed to dim at bit as the house filled with the scent of ozone and singed hair. "Callie, Jessie, we talked about using the chair here. We don't want to run up your Uncle's electric bill before he even gets the new house," Lucas called upstairs.
"But Daddy, we waited for off-peak hours," Calpurnia protested.
"Just one more jolt, Dad. I was going to use a light bulb like great-uncle Fester," Jessie added.
"One more, then off to your rooms. I want you both rested when we see your Uncle tomorrow," Lucas called up to them.
"Yes, Dad," the kids responded in unison before the lights dimmed for a second time.
"They take after you," Lucas informed his wife.
"I was never that polite about electrocuting Pugsley until someone came up to interrupt me personally," Wednesday shot back. Her amusement dimmed as mentioning Pugsley just reminded her up how unhappy Xander had looked with her and the rest of the Addams Clan.
"Di, part of this is about mending fences, right? It's not going to happen in one day," Lucas comforted.
"If I had been better... If I had more self control it wouldn't have been an issue. I was sixteen already, Lucas. I met you less than a year after we sent him away. I should have known better. I should have watched out for him better," Wednesday explained.
"Di, none of you had any way of knowing until he was already hurt. You said so yourself. And even if it hadn't been you it would have been Pugsley. No matter how big he was for his age he was still only thirteen. Thirteen year old boys do NOT think everything through. Or it could have been a run in with Kitty Cat. Or even the rug. Sending here was all you could do to keep him safe. You know that," Lucas responded patiently.
"Pugsley would have done what he was told. I would have made certain of it," Wednesday growled. "Either way, I was the eldest. I should have taken better care of my baby brother." She did her best to ignore the fact that the only time she had anything good to say about Pubert when he still lived with them was when she defended him from Debbie calling him a "brat."
"And you will. That's part of why we're here. For now you just have to take the chance to get to know who he is today. Not just what you pick up from Morticia's letters or what scraps we hear from various sources. You need to talk to him and get to know him and go from there," Lucas replied.
"And if he still hates me-us once we get to know him?" Wednesday asked.
Lucas chuckled as he moved in and kissed her again. "Never happen. You're too lovable for words once someone gets to know you. That's why I never had a chance against you."
"You are such a sap sometimes," Wednesday responded in a deadpan before moving in for another kiss, this one more passionate than the last. "Now quit trying to make me feel better with words and use your mouth the right way to cheer me up," she growled as they parted.
"Should I get the crossbow and an apple too?" Lucas asked with a twinkle in his eye.
"Let's just skip the foreplay," Wednesday decided as she and Lucas made their way toward the guest room they had claimed for themselves.
Needless to say, Calpurnia and Jessie did not get as much sleep as they would have liked that night as Lucas did his best to ease his wife's troubled mind by making her too exhausted to think at all.
Wednesday allowed her smile to grow just a bit more as she heard the telltale sound of a guillotine blade being raised coming from upstairs. The fully furnished home Father and Uncle Fester had purchased for them while they were visiting (well actually it was supposed to be part of the wedding gifts for Puber-Xander and his bride-to-be but Wednesday and her family were residing there as she acted as the emissary for the family for now) had all the comforts of home, including a fully stocked playroom. She felt a wave of nostalgia his her as she called out, "Children? What are you doing up there?"
The "innocent" reply of "Playing" from her little boy and girl sounded so much like herself and Pugsley growing up that it could well have come straight from a time twenty two years ago when they played "Marie Antoinette" with little Pubert. She would never admit it then, but the way he had grabbed and stopped the blade at such a young age had been rather impressive. "Woe to the Republic" she muttered to herself as recalled that day so long ago and listened to the blade dropping upstairs, followed by a rustling that said Jesse had escaped his sister's attempt to decapitate him.
Lucas sighed as he made his way in to the dining room to sit with his wife as he heard a rather loud thump upstairs. "Should I see to that or are we going to let them tire themselves out?" he asked.
"Let them get it out of their systems. I want them to behave at their Uncle's tomorrow. Even if he could take their behavior his fiancee might not like it," Wednesday explained.
"So basically, make them act like they're visiting my parents," Lucas elaborated.
"Exactly," Wednesday agreed with the smile she reserved for her husband alone.
"Di?" Lucas asked, using the pet name he had given Wednesday the first day they met. The day she came out of the woods in Central Park, crossbow in hand, looking for all the world like Diana the huntress made flesh. He waited for Wednesday to quirk her eyebrow at his inquiry before he continued, "How did it go? With Pubert today, I mean?"
"Xander. Or Alexander. He... prefers that name now I suppose," Wednesday corrected with a small snort of contempt.
"Well that is the name he's been living under for the last eighteen years of his life. It's kind of to be expected," Lucas said by way of consolation. "But if we're seeing him tomorrow I take it things went well?"
"He was afraid of me," Wednesday replied, upset with herself over how much that fact bothered her. She used to LIVE for making people fear her. Married life had obviously mellowed her more than she would ever admit. "I could see it on his face. But only at first. He may not have been raised as one, but he's still an Addams. He wouldn't let anyone keep him down for long. Not even me. And he did agree to let the family come to the wedding. I promised we'd behave. That we'd give him a normal night."
"One normal night, huh? That worked out so well the night we introduced our parents to each other, didn't it?" Lucas asked with a crooked grin.
"As I recall, it was your Mother drinking the Acrimonium Pugsley tried to slip me that started the problems," Wednesday responded as close a tone to flippant as she could achieve.
"I think we were doomed the moment you decided to buy a yellow sundress to try impress my mother. Black is much more your color," Lucas shot back with a smile.
"I suppose it is. And it looks especially good pooled on the floor in the bedroom later," Wednesday said with a look that promised a passionate evening when the children were in bed.
"I'll hold you to that," Lucas assured her as he moved in and kissed her deeply. He finally broke contact and leaned back in his seat before he added, "But for now, Xander is the issue here. How did he look?"
"Healthy. Mother will be appalled at the light tan he has and at his choice of clothes. His apartment looked a little like our first place together before we got settled and had the kids. He really does seem to still live in two worlds. Although most of that is because of his friends," Wednesday reported. "He still seemed... upset."
"You guys did it to protect him, Wednes. He has to understand that," Lucas mildly protested.
"That still doesn't make it right. And it didn't help that the Slayer and the redheaded witch tried to 'protect' him too while they were all in high school. I think it just tore at old wounds for him. Made him even more upset with us, " Wednesday replied with a scowl.
"You can't blame them for what they had no idea about, hon," Lucas said as he recognized the look in his wife's eye. That look had a nasty habit of ending up with a body buried in the bog after she was finished.
"Must you be the reasonable one all the time?" Wednesday complained with a sideways glance at her husband.
"One of us has to. Saves us on aggravation and payoffs with the local authorities," Lucas replied with a shrug. His thoughts were interrupted as the lights seemed to dim at bit as the house filled with the scent of ozone and singed hair. "Callie, Jessie, we talked about using the chair here. We don't want to run up your Uncle's electric bill before he even gets the new house," Lucas called upstairs.
"But Daddy, we waited for off-peak hours," Calpurnia protested.
"Just one more jolt, Dad. I was going to use a light bulb like great-uncle Fester," Jessie added.
"One more, then off to your rooms. I want you both rested when we see your Uncle tomorrow," Lucas called up to them.
"Yes, Dad," the kids responded in unison before the lights dimmed for a second time.
"They take after you," Lucas informed his wife.
"I was never that polite about electrocuting Pugsley until someone came up to interrupt me personally," Wednesday shot back. Her amusement dimmed as mentioning Pugsley just reminded her up how unhappy Xander had looked with her and the rest of the Addams Clan.
"Di, part of this is about mending fences, right? It's not going to happen in one day," Lucas comforted.
"If I had been better... If I had more self control it wouldn't have been an issue. I was sixteen already, Lucas. I met you less than a year after we sent him away. I should have known better. I should have watched out for him better," Wednesday explained.
"Di, none of you had any way of knowing until he was already hurt. You said so yourself. And even if it hadn't been you it would have been Pugsley. No matter how big he was for his age he was still only thirteen. Thirteen year old boys do NOT think everything through. Or it could have been a run in with Kitty Cat. Or even the rug. Sending here was all you could do to keep him safe. You know that," Lucas responded patiently.
"Pugsley would have done what he was told. I would have made certain of it," Wednesday growled. "Either way, I was the eldest. I should have taken better care of my baby brother." She did her best to ignore the fact that the only time she had anything good to say about Pubert when he still lived with them was when she defended him from Debbie calling him a "brat."
"And you will. That's part of why we're here. For now you just have to take the chance to get to know who he is today. Not just what you pick up from Morticia's letters or what scraps we hear from various sources. You need to talk to him and get to know him and go from there," Lucas replied.
"And if he still hates me-us once we get to know him?" Wednesday asked.
Lucas chuckled as he moved in and kissed her again. "Never happen. You're too lovable for words once someone gets to know you. That's why I never had a chance against you."
"You are such a sap sometimes," Wednesday responded in a deadpan before moving in for another kiss, this one more passionate than the last. "Now quit trying to make me feel better with words and use your mouth the right way to cheer me up," she growled as they parted.
"Should I get the crossbow and an apple too?" Lucas asked with a twinkle in his eye.
"Let's just skip the foreplay," Wednesday decided as she and Lucas made their way toward the guest room they had claimed for themselves.
Needless to say, Calpurnia and Jessie did not get as much sleep as they would have liked that night as Lucas did his best to ease his wife's troubled mind by making her too exhausted to think at all.