Ranma ½ Cliched 8

Lawra

Well-Known Member
#26
leeyiankun said:
Err.. this might be too late to ask, but.. What's so Cliched about this story? What does the title mean? I struggle to grip my self with the story of a not familiar world, with an alternate set of characters wearing Ranma 1/2 names. The story's pace is fine and dandy, but still the title's been bugging me.
Most things in it have some basis off a something that could be considered a cliche. I'm not trying to be original with it at all.


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Kasumi struggled against two skeletons as they pulled her from her room. Even without muscle they were still able to overpower her and throw her to the floor. Quickly picking herself up into a kneeling position, she backed away into the wall. ôWhat do you want?ö She cried out.

ôYou.ö A young manÆs voice answered. Opening her eyes, she found a male dragon tiefling looking down at her. Wearing black armor and having a large ax strapped to his back, he towered over her from her position on the floor.

ôWho are you? Why would you do this?ö She asked through tears.

ôItÆs alright, really.ö He knelt down and held out a hand to her. ôMy name is Lethanial and they arenÆt going to hurt you.ö His eyes moved to the undead before back to her.

ôWhat do you want?ö She didnÆt take or slap away his hand, the horror of the situation still not setting in fully. The tiefling in front of her was handsome and the first one with a dragon ancestor besides herself that she had ever seen. Two dragon wings were on his back and he had a thin tail down to his knees. Four horns stuck up and backwards from behind his ears and his eyes were a deep red.

ôYou.ö He forcibly grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her to her feet. ôNow come on, my brother Raxus is going to burn this ship.ö

ôLet me go!ö She struggled against his grip.

ôIÆm saving your life, now shut up and come with me.ö He added an arm around her waist and pulled her through the ship.

X x x x x x

RanmaÆs eyes widened and she shot straight upwards to avoid a horizontal slash from the manÆs sword. He wasnÆt just big and strong, he was fast and skilled, and Ranma was struggling just to keep out of the way of his attacks. It didnÆt help that he was laughing constantly. Glancing back at the ship, she couldnÆt make out anything from the smoke at the bow of the ship as it burned. Any moment now and the neutral stones there would give way and it would plummet from the sky. Her momentary distraction nearly cost her a wing but she was able to shrink them down to medium size before it was cleaved from her body.

ôFather will reward me for bringing you in.ö He laughed again. ôResist his curse enough to have this much fight in you? Maybe heÆll even let me have the pleasure of breaking you fully.ö

æCurse?Æ RanmaÆs mouth pulled back into a snarl. ôSo heÆs the one.ö Twisting out of the way over another attack, she was able to close the distance to get within his guard. His yellow eyes widened as she brought her sword upwards and across his face. Howling in pain, he fell away from her, and slashed wildly with his sword to force her back.

ôIÆll kill you!ö He roared, a chunk of his muzzle cut off, and blood flowing freely from the wound.

ôThink again.ö Desperately grabbing as much of her magic as possible, she had just formed it into a glowing red ball in front of her when his sword met it. The explosion sent both of them tumbling away, the dragon man falling towards the ground below. Ranma slammed down on to hard wood and bounced several times before coming to rest.

Struggling to push herself up, she found that she had landed on the ship rather than fall to the ground far below. Getting upright, she found that she was surrounded by the undead, with none of the men who had been defending it in sight. The only ones she did see were now among the undead. Grabbing her sword that had become imbedded in the wood nearby, she pulled it out and returned it to itÆs scabbard before picking up a large poleax.

æPlease be safe Kasumi.Æ The undead shambled towards her and she was about to attack when Kasumi was dragged from the inside of the ship by another dragon tiefling. ôHold it!ö She shouted.

ôOh-- good.ö The man tightened his grip on Kasumi. ôI was just about to leave and it looks like you can fly.ö

ôLet her go.ö Ranma growled and kept watch as the undead backed away from her.

ôI have a better idea, you come with me.ö He ordered and moved towards the edge of the ship. ôDrop your weapons or IÆll kill her.ö

Biting her tongue, she threw the poleax to the side. ôLet her go.ö

ôThis ship is going to go down, sheÆs coming with me.ö He tightened his grip on Kasumi to the point where she cried out in pain. ôDrop your weapon.ö

RanmaÆs jaw tightened and she looked to Kasumi and the terror on the tieflingÆs face. ôAlright.ö Gripping her sword hilt, she pulled it from the scabbard, and closed her eyes.

ôHurry up!ö He demanded.

The undead around her jerked and convulsed as they crossed the barrier line. Ranma shivered as the holy magic passed over her and cast the strongest light spell she could directly in front of the manÆs face. He screamed and released his hand from KasumiÆs waist to cover his eyes. Ranma was on him before he move and she sliced through the remaining arm holding Kasumi at the elbow. The man looked down at his severed limb in horror for only a moment before Ranma buried the sword through his chest.

His mouth opened and closed repeatedly but nothing came out as he staggered backwards, until he finally fell backwards on to the deck. His impact with the deck signaled the neutral stone at the front of the ship to finally break away lurching the ship to one side. Falling to her knees along with Kasumi, the other front neutral stone released, and Ranma watched in horror as Kasumi fell over the edge.

ôKasumi!ö Ranma dove over the edge and accelerated towards Kasumi as she spun uncontrollably towards the ground below. Catching up with the other tiefling, she floundered with her grip, before finally grabbing Kasumi by the back. Attempting to pull out of the dive, her wings buckled, and her eyes were forced closed from the wind. Squinting, she saw that the ground was approaching far too fast to pull out of.

ôThis is going to hurt.ö Gritting her teeth, she opened up one wing, and spun them around so she was on the bottom.


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And chapter end.
 

Scratx

Well-Known Member
#27
The eariler dream sequence is funny. I wonder how much of that is Pepa 's influence and how much is Ranma's subconscious. Also wonder if Pepa being inside Ranma happened only this time, as she's had some mysterious disappearances...

Pepa now being partially flesh is an interesting twist... possibly through the same spell that turned Ranma into a succubus?

I've not much at all to add to the boarding scene or the genma/nodoka scenes.

The other dream... damn. Just plain mind-fucking Ranma. The last bi of itt might've been partly Kasumi's fault, though, via waking him up? And we're finally getting to see who may be the dastardly fellow behind many of Ranma's woes, during the fight. Hmm.

... Yeah, I'm not in shape to do any better C&C right now, sorry. :/
 
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