Akamatsuverse Contract Labor

PCHeintz72

The Sentient Fanfic Search Engine mk II
#51
Prince Charon said:
Kitsune, of course, has no excuse.
...

Considering Motoko is older in this story than canon, and Naru only a year younger... I find fault with that logic, as it should be obvious to all three of them at a glance that she is doing their work. Thus all have no excuse.

The exception being if they were never told her rent was lowered only for cooking, and not laundry. Then all would be innocent.
 

zeebee1

Well-Known Member
#52
I would imagine that Shinobu volunteered to do extra chores and they just didn't try to stop her.
 

Elvarein

Well-Known Member
#53
To be honest, I really like this.

It is an honest and realistic look at how a more serious and grown up Keitaro would treat the LH situation without falling into the area of bashing. Its going to be tricky playing this line, but I am very hopeful after reading the story so far.

Also with regards to the laundry situation, I think it suffers from out of sight out of mind. They might have been uneasy at first but after a while they simply ceased to think about it. Finally, given that the girls are skeptical of him, it explains why Keitaro called Haruka for this.
 

GreydonCreed

Well-Known Member
#54
Chapter reposted with semi-final FFN version.

This chapter contains an action sequence and what can be considered bashing of a major character. That is not my intent; she tends to act out in a certain way, and this time a person who was running out of time has to make a choice. Don't worry, no one is hurt (much) or dies.
^_^

Ch 6

Keitaro rolled his head from side to side, trying to work the kinks out of his neck as he walked down the steps of the Hinata-sou; spending most of a day looking into every nook and cranny of a large house and property was not guaranteed to make a person relaxed. Having to look forward to dealing with a bunch of rambunctious tenants was not helping him regain his center of calm either.

Entering the Tea House through the side door, he was slightly surprised that there was not so many people there. Barely a quarter of the tables had people sitting at them, sipping tea and reading books and newspapers. Keitaro was reminded of some of the coffee houses in Tokyoà all that was missing were the otaku coming back from a day full of shopping, and cosplaying waitresses to serve them, thinking to himself with a small smile.

ôHey there Kei-kun. ItÆs that time?ö The sound of his auntÆs voice gave him her location, standing behind the counter next to the display of teas that Haruka sold by the tin. Even though most people were perfectly able to make their own tea at home, they would come in to sample the varied teas from around Asia and the world that his aunt would sell either by single measures in waxed paper tied off with string, or in larger sealed cans to help keep the leaves fresh longer.

ôYeah, pretty much finished everything else.ö Keitaro walked up to the counter as Haruka finished stacking the tins on the shelves against the wall. ôIÆm going to be glad to when this day is over. IÆve been on my feet for most of it.ö

Haruka hummed in response as she finished her tidying up. Undoing her apron, she hung it up on a hook on the wall at the end of the counter. ôYoko, IÆm going out for a little while,ö she said to the older woman sitting behind the register. Slight of build with short graying hair, she was wearing round granny glasses and reading a paperback book. ôIf anything comes up, call me on my mobile, this shouldnÆt take more than a hour.ö The woman silently nodded and then resumed reading her book.

Walking out the door, HarukaÆs arm twitched toward her shirt pocket and the smokes contained therein, then move back to her side. Seeing the small smile on her nephewÆs face, she blushed slightly and muttered, ôNot a good idea to smoke going up stairs anyway.ö KeitaroÆs smile widened but he keep silent anyway as they walked up the meandering steps.

Pausing at the head of the stairs to catch her breath (and trying to conceal that fact) Haruka asked, ôSo how did the grand tour go?

Waiting for a moment to catch his own breath, Keitaro replied, ôAbout how I expected. ThereÆs a lot of routine maintenance that wasnÆt kept up with, plus some minor damage to the house that needs to be repaired, but after that it shouldnÆt be a problem. The one thing IÆm concerned with is the Annex, that place is so unsafe I didnÆt get past the entryway. Three steps in and my foot went through some rotted floorboards. We need to go in with bigger lights and better safety gear to explore it, but from I can see, we may need to just raze the building and be done with it.ö

Haruka looked at him with some interest on her face. ôYou feel anything when you go in there?ö

ôYou mean besides cold and clammy? Not really.ö Keitaro replied, looking up at the front of the main house.

ôYou know there are people that say that that place is haunted.ö Haruka continued watching Keitaro out of the corner of her eye.

Keitaro snorted. ôWouldnÆt surprise me, all that was missing from that place was the sounds of chains dragging on the floor.ö He looked back at his aunt. ôYou wouldnÆt know why the place is haunted, or by who?ö

ôClosest IÆve ever heard of an explanation is that members of the family are not happy that the clan is getting smaller and smaller every generation. Either that or they are staying around to protect those of us that are left.ö A look of sadness made its way across HarukaÆs face.

Keitaro nodded, understanding what she meant. HarukaÆs parents had been killed in one of the frequent earthquakes that hit Japan. Her parents had been on a business trip in Sendai when the trembler struck, causing a landslide that crushed the building they were in. Haruka had been eight years old at the time, and the deaths devastated her. Granny Hina wound up taking in her grand-daughter and eventually adopted her.

One of the things that was rarely spoken of in the Urashima family was how close Death seemed to follow it. There was never a generation that did not have an early death, either by accident or illness. The Pacific War had done the most damage; even though the Urashima males of that time were mostly too old to serve in uniform or too young, the two young men that did serve did not return home. The firebombing of Tokyo near the end of the war resulted in the deaths of almost three quarters of the Urashima family; only Hina, her younger brother, her mother, and her motherÆs father survived the war.

Stepping next to Haruka, Keitaro wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close to him, standing shoulder to shoulder. Haruka tilted her head so it was against his shoulder, and sighed. One of the things she had missed about Keitaro was how he was unafraid of comforting those close to him. In a culture that maintained emotional distance to make up for the crowded environment that most people had to be in, Keitaro was always there to share in peopleÆs emotions, both the good and the bad.

Taking a deep breath, Haruka put her hand on top of KeitaroÆs and squeezed before stepping away slightly. Understanding the unspoken thanks, Keitaro let his arm fall away and started walking toward the front door of the Sou, Haruka not even a half step behind him.

ôSo all we have left are the tenant rooms?ö Haruka paused at the door as she pulled off her shoes and stepped into the indoors slippers lined up there. Keitaro followed suit.

ôYeah, but there is one thing left to check, and I need your help for it. IÆll let you into my room, then I have to go get the stepladder.ö

Unlocking his room door, Haruka stepped in while Keitaro walked back down the hall. Looking around, she saw that little had changed from last night, except that the duffle bag was no longer in sight. The futon was still on the floor, and what looked to be some prep books and study guides were on a low table, presumably where he was going to study.

Noticing the ball cap on the dresser, she walked over and took a closer look at it. The English flag patch on the front of the cap did not look like something that Keitaro would wear, but the way it was set front and center on the top suggested it had some meaning to him.

Hearing the door open, Haruka turned to see Keitaro walk in carrying what looked to be a medium sized stepladder. Putting it down next to the table, he opened it and positioned it under something Haruka had not noticed yet; a large hole in the ceiling, covered by what looked to be a piece of plywood.

ôWhat the heck is that? Or better yet, what the hell caused that?ö Haruka asked in some wonder. With modern construction techniques and materials, it was very difficult to make a hole in a ceiling or floor big enough for a person to pass though. It was almost certainly done deliberately, but she could not think of a reason why Granny Hina would do that.

ôThatÆs what I want to know myself. I wanted to look at it earlier, but I didnÆt want to risk a fall. I saw this stepladder in the kitchen this morning, so with you here to make sure I keep my balance, it should be safe enough.ö Keitaro took a couple steps up the ladder then looked at his aunt. ôStand next to the ladder and hold onto my legs. I donÆt want to take a header off this thing.ö

Nodding, Haruka waited until Keitaro was on the third step from the top before taking hold of his legs. At that level, Keitaro was just below the plywood, where his short hair was brushing against it. Raising one hand to the board, he pushed slightly and was surprised to feel the board move.

ôThe edges arenÆt clean cut; it looks like something smashed its way through here. The board looks like it isnÆt nailed down, IÆm going to push it up and see whatÆs up there. IÆm going to have to take another step up, so hang on tight to me.ö Keitaro requested.

Hearing Haruka give her OK, Keitaro stepped up to the second from the top step. The board was light enough that his head was able to push it up, so Keitaro jammed his hand in the widening crack on one side of the board and pulled himself up. As he did so, he heard a soft thump, as though something on top of the board had fallen over.

Straightening up, Keitaro was surprised to see that he was looking into another room. ôàIt looks like a tenant room. Who the hell makes a hole through the floor in theiràö Keitaro turned his head to look around and saw someone was standing a short distance away, ôàroom?ö

-----

Naru Narusegawa was fuming. It was five minutes until the new landlord was going to do his blasted room inspection, and she had spilled cola all over her blouse and skirt as she had been moving some books off to the side.

After frantically mopping up the mess with some tissues, she looked down at her clothes and was annoyed to see that there was large dark spots on her light colored clothes. Angry that she had to change clothes again not ten minutes after doing so when she first got home, Naru quickly pulled off her clothes and shoved them in the hamper. Wearing only a bra and panties, she walked over to her dresser when she heard a soft thump.

Turning her head, she saw that her stuffed Lido-kun plushie had fallen over. Surprised, but not really concerned, she started walking over to set it up right when the board that Lido-kun was sitting on shook, then started to move upwards.

Freezing in place, Naru watched as fingers, then a hand appeared under the board and grabbed onto the edge of the hole beneath. The board shook again and then was pushed upwards.

Wide-eyed, Naru saw that what had pushed the board up was a head. A head with dark hair and glasses. A head that slowly turned and faced her. A head with the face of Keitaro Urashima.

ôàIt looks like a tenant room. Who the hell makes a hole through the floor in theiràö Urashima finally turned enough to see Naru. ôàroom?ö

Naru barely heard this, as rage was boiling through her veins. Not only was their new manager a man and therefore a pervert, he was now looking through a hole in her floor to peep on her in her underwear!

UrashimaÆs eyes widened considerably, and his face went pale, in direct contrast to Naru, whoÆs eyes had narrowed to slits, and her face was almost brick red. Taking one step forward, she growled in a bestial voice, ôà you bastardàö

ôWait Naruà!!!ö Anything else Keitaro would have said was cut off as she began to sprint toward the hole in the floor.

ôDIE, PERVERT!!!ö Seeing that Naru was almost upon him, Keitaro tried to duck out of the line of incoming fire. But due to his precarious position and the fact that Haruka was holding his legs in place, all he could was crouch down, and that was not enough.

Seeing that Urashima was lowering himself in the hole, Naru instinctive realized that the kick she was going to do would not hit itÆs intended target. Instead, she stopped and stomped down on the board full force.

KeitaroÆs knees were bent; that was one of his two saving graces. When the powerful stomp connected with the board still touching the top of his head, there was some give in his legs, so only a fraction of the force concentrated on his head. However, his knees immediately collapsed and he fell sideway, being torn free from an horrified Haruka.

The second saving grace was that Keitaro landed on top on the low table next to the ladder. The legs of the table instantly blew outwards, reducing the force of the tabletop slamming into the floor and of Keitaro slamming down completely on it. He hit with the back of his shoulder and side, rolling over onto his back before coming to a stop.

-----

Haruka looked on in shock as Keitaro lay there not moving. His eyes were wide and unblinking for what seemed like an eternity before he sucked in a large breath, exhaled, then sucked in another, appearing stunned. His eyes were blinking again, but while the lights were on, there was no one home at that moment.

HarukaÆs head jerked upward as she heard a snarl above her. Looking up, she saw Narusegawa coming down through the hole in the ceiling. Dropping down to the floor, the underwear clad girl stalked toward the semi-conscious Keitaro, her fists clenched and her eyes promising death.

ôNaru! NARU! STOP!!!ö Haruka could see that the enraged girl was not listening to her. She grabbed at her arm to stop her, but she pulled free with almost no effort.

With Naru only a step from Keitaro, she was thrown backwards toward the door as Haruka crash-tackled her. Snarling at the older woman, Naru threw her to the side and got to her feet again.

Haruka was almost in a panic. Naru was going to try and tear Keitaro apart while he could not defend himself. Her first two attempts to stop her barely slowed her down. Her options were running out fast.

Scrambling to her feet, she ran at the furious teen, her left forearm up and aimed at NaruÆs throat. Her right hand dug into her back pocket, the object she pulled out of it instantly starting to click and blurà

-----

Naru was going to tear apart that pervert if it was the last thing she did.

Nothing was going to stop herà

Not the other tenantsà

Not the pervertÆs auntà

Nothingà

clickclickclickSLAM!

Naru was next aware that someone had her up against a wall with their arm across her throat, almost cutting off her air. But she still could breath, she could yank them away andà

Suddenly something bright gleamed in front of NaruÆs face, barely two inches away. She focused on it.

A knife. Held by Haruka. Aimed right at her eye.

ôNARU! NARU! GODDAMNIT, NARU, STOP MOVING, OR BY GOD IÆLL DROP YOU!!!ö

Naru stopped struggling, and instead concentrated on breathing. Seeing this, Haruka released some of the pressure across her throat. After what felt like an eternity, but was really only ten seconds, Haruka spoke again.

ôNaru, I am not going to let you hurt Keitaro. It was an accident he saw you like this, I was here, he was not going to peep on you. Do NOT do anything stupid, and I wonÆt hurt you. If you promise not to attack again, IÆll let you go. Promise? Nod for yes.ö Naru, now wide-eyed, nodded slowly. ôIf you attack him again, IÆm not going to try to stop you, I will stop you cold.ö Haruka wiggled the knife blade, and NaruÆs eye followed it. ôUnderstand? Nod for yes.ö Naru nodded again.

Haruka noticed that she and Naru were up against the wall by the room door. ôI want you to slide down the wall and sit on the floor. IÆm not going to do anything to you, I just want to check on Keitaro. OK?ö The rage in NaruÆs eyes was gone, replaced with shock and fear. Moving slowly, she slid down the wall and sat.

Taking a couple of steps away from the now hyperventilating girl, Haruka kept her in the corner of her eye and looked toward Keitaro. He was now looking right at her, eyes wide still, but breathing less heavily. She realized that her nephew had seen everything that had just happened.

Looking downwards, Haruka looked at the balisong knife she had open in her right hand. A memento of her æmisspent youthÆ, only some of which had been with Seta, it was now used to open boxes in the shop. Granted, she had used it before to scare off the occasional mugger, but tonight was the closest she had ever come to use it for real.

With a slight shudder at the thought, Haruka took a look back at Naru and saw that she was still on the floor hyperventilating. Threat over for now, she twirled the knife, making the distinctive clickclickclick sound as the blade folded back into the two piece handle. Shoving the knife back into her jeans pocket, she moved over to where Keitaro was trying to sit up on the wreckage of the table.

ôHaruàö Anything Keitaro would have said was cut off by the sound of a thump. The two Urashima looked over at Naru, who apparently had fainted due to her hyperventilating. They both could see she was breathing normally now, so Haruka decided to leave her be.

ôHaruàö Kneeling down beside him, Haruka pressed her head against his, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

ôWould you?ö The question caused Haruka to look up into KeitaroÆs face. She did not have to hear the full question, she knew what he meant.

ôàI didnÆt want to.ö Haruka responded, her voice low.

ôButà?ö Keitaro asked another question, a full sentence crammed into one word.

ôYouÆre family.ö Those two words spoken flatly by Haruka said more than any speech would have. Those two words were enough.

Suddenly there was a pounding at the door. ôNaru! Naru, are you in there? Answer me!ö The voice sounded like MotokoÆs.

Naru groaned on the floor, slowly coming back to consciousness. Haruka replied for her, in a loud voice intended to carry though the closed door. ôItÆs me, Haruka. NaruÆs here, too. ThereÆs been an accident, hang on a minute.ö

Seeing that Keitaro was sitting up on his own now, Haruka walked back to Naru, dropping to one knee next to the waking girl, but still staying a bit back from her.

ôHow are you feeling, Naru?ö Haruka asked in a neutral voice.

Naru moaned. ôWhat happened? I have a blinding headacheàö She looked around for a moment. ôWhat am I doing in GrannyÆs room?ö

Haruka blinked. The girl had to be kidding. ôWhat do you last remember?ö

Naru pressed her hands to her temples, rubbing them. ôI was getting ready for the room inspection, and I spilled some cola, and I got so madà Then I saw red and the headache came, and the next thing I remember is waking up were with you in GrannyÆs room.ö

Haruka was staring into NaruÆs eyes now. Instead of fury or fear there was just confusion.

æThere must really be a godàÆ Haruka thought to herself. The adrenaline rush of NaruÆs rage, the shock of being threatened, plus being almost choked out, and hyperventilating as well, seemed to have caused a temporary short term memory lossà at least she hoped that it was just limited to the one memory.

Speaking up calmly, she said, ôNaru, there was an accident with the hole in your floor. KeitaroÆs hurting too, just sit there for a while, OK?ö Naru nodded, and dropped her head down on her raised up knees.

Turning to Keitaro, Haruka turned and saw that he had heard everything as well. Seeing him shrug his shoulders and nod, she nodded in return.

Another knock on the door came before Motoko spoke again. ôHaruka, is everything fine now? Can you open the door?ö

Seeing Keitaro give his nod again, and with everything else as under control as it could be, Haruka walked over to the door and opened it. On the other side were the other tenants of the Sou, with Motoko in front and suspicion writ large cross her face. ôWhat happened, Haruka? We heard Naru yelling, some crashing, and now everyone his here in the managerÆs room.ö

æOh Lord God, let this workàÆ Haruka prayed. ôI was with Keitaro inspecting that hole over there.ö She gestured to the ceiling, and Motoko and the others saw the large hole. ôWe didnÆt know NaruÆs room was on the other side, and when she saw Keitaro she blew her top.ö

ôThen what happened?ö This question came from Kitsune, who was switching from amused to concerned and back again.

ôKeitaro fell back onto the table over there, Naru came down here spitting mad, but she calmed down after I explained what happened. Then the adrenaline rush got to her and she fainted. She just woke up.ö The best lies were the ones mixed with the truth, after all. There was no way she wanted everyone else that she had to threaten Naru with an amateur lobotomy to get her to stop.

By this time Naru had managed to stagger to her feet, even though she was swaying. ôOh god, I have a monster headache, I just want to go to bed.ö

Haruka looked over at Keitaro and asked, ôHow about we postpone the inspections until tomorrow, Kei-kun? Neither of you are in shape for it.ö Keitaro nodded his head, wincing at the motion.

ôOK guys, time to go back to your rooms. Motoko, could you and Kitsune take Naru to her room, please? IÆve got to check on Keitaro here.ö Haruka watched as the older girls helped the underwear clad girl out of the room, then turned back to Keitaro, who had slowly moved over to the futon, which was clear of debris.

Haruka moved over and plopped down next to Keitaro. Sitting still for a moment, she was not at all surprised that he put his arm around her. She returned the favor immediate, and leaned her head against his shoulder.

After ten minutes of silence, Haruka broke it by muttering two words. ôMy God.ö

Keitaro nodded slightly and replied just as concisely. ôYeah.ö After a moment of thought, he added one more word. ôThanks,ö and softly kissed Haruka on the temple. She squeezed his shoulder in reply, and that was enough.

-----
 

Ordo

Well-Known Member
#55
As to the "bashing", it's mitigated by being a fairly believeable scenario in the Hina Inn. Early on, when it comes to Keitaro, a number of the tenants were willing to believe the worst about him due to the events surrounding his arrival and other factors. Another thing that actually helps is the preceeding discussion of the Urashima family history. The idea that they might be cursed by some force, would help to explain why the Tenants of the Inn would react with more violence than seems reasonable to any percieved infraction by Keitaro.

I suppose I would think of it as a subtle but persistant curse that tweaks certain variables to be more deadly than normal. In the case of Haruka's parents, that landslide was always going to happen, it was their presence that caused it to occur that day. With Naru, she was just in the right frame of mind (helped along by a soda spill), to be susceptible to the rioting of her emotions. So annoyance and anger turn to blind rage and homicidal determination.
 

GreydonCreed

Well-Known Member
#56
Ordo said:
As to the "bashing", it's mitigated by being a fairly believeable scenario in the Hina Inn. Early on, when it comes to Keitaro, a number of the tenants were willing to believe the worst about him due to the events surrounding his arrival and other factors. Another thing that actually helps is the preceeding discussion of the Urashima family history. The idea that they might be cursed by some force, would help to explain why the Tenants of the Inn would react with more violence than seems reasonable to any percieved infraction by Keitaro.

I suppose I would think of it as a subtle but persistant curse that tweaks certain variables to be more deadly than normal. In the case of Haruka's parents, that landslide was always going to happen, it was their presence that caused it to occur that day. With Naru, she was just in the right frame of mind (helped along by a soda spill), to be susceptible to the rioting of her emotions. So annoyance and anger turn to blind rage and homicidal determination.
Ordo, thanks for the FB.

I'm going to edit the Ch 6 prelim post and replace it with what I will post on FFN.

Enjoy, all. :lol:
 

Prince Charon

Well-Known Member
#57
Interesting.
 

PCHeintz72

The Sentient Fanfic Search Engine mk II
#58
spending most of a day looking into every nook and cranny of a large house and property was not guaranteed to make a person relaxed.
So... does that mean he evaluated the tunnels as well?

ôIf anything comes up, call me on my mobile, this shouldnÆt take more than a hour.ö
Hmmm... wonder if the mobile can recieve in the tunnels?

HarukaÆs arm twitched toward her shirt pocket and the smokes continued therein,
'continued' s/b 'contained'

ôàIt looks like a tenant room. Who the hell makes a hole through the floor in theiràö Urashima finally turned enough to see Naru. ôàroom?ö
My one question on this is she heard the plushie fall over, but not the movement or the voices from through the plywood... a single board should not have been soundproofed, esp one not nailed down and supposedly easy to move.



Interesting chapter... though I'm not really convinced Haruka ever feared Naru in canon, thus implying Haruka's past is different.
 

GreydonCreed

Well-Known Member
#59
PCHeintz72 said:
Interesting chapter...á though I'm not really convinced Haruka ever feared Naru in canon, thus implying Haruka's past is different.
Fixed the spelling error.

Haruka has the super Japanese mobile phone plan, with guaranteed signal through everything, including underground walls and undersea. ;)

What happened is that Lido-kun fell over on his button nose and the plastic clicking against the wood is what made the thump obvious... really... seriously... pinky swear? :sweat:

In canon Naru never physically attacked Haruka, plus the elder Urashima was known to carry a handgun (in Japan!). In this story, Naru didn't directly attack her either, but she was in a beserker rage and had literally thrown her away from herself; that would make anyone nervous. :huh:

PCHeintz, Prince Charon, thanks for the FB.
 

zeebee1

Well-Known Member
#60
I can understand why Haruka didn't tell the others the truth, but hiding the truth from Naru wont solve anything.
 

GreydonCreed

Well-Known Member
#61
zeebee1 said:
I can understand why Haruka didn't tell the others the truth, but hiding the truth from Naru wont solve anything.
Haruka isn't about to *not* do anything about Naru. She knows that Naru is a potential threat to Keitaro and others, so she is going to be keeping a close eye on her until they decide if she will be allowed to stay at the Hinata-sou. And to help her do that and to help protect Keitaro, she is going to do something she never thought she would do: Ask Kanako for help. Which is kinda like fumigating a house with gasoline. ^_^

BTW, how do you think Naru would react if Haruka told her straight out, "You were about to beat my nephew to death, so I had to almost skewer you with a knife?" :blink:

Don't worry, this will be dealt with eventually.
 

zeebee1

Well-Known Member
#62
It's more like fumigating a house with gasoline and then deciding to smoke indoors.
 

da_fox2279

California Crackpot
#63
GreydonCreed said:
PCHeintz72 said:
Interesting chapter...á though I'm not really convinced Haruka ever feared Naru in canon, thus implying Haruka's past is different.
Fixed the spelling error.

Haruka has the super Japanese mobile phone plan, with guaranteed signal through everything, including underground walls and undersea. ;)

What happened is that Lido-kun fell over on his button nose and the plastic clicking against the wood is what made the thump obvious... really... seriously... pinky swear? :sweat:

In canon Naru never physically attacked Haruka, plus the elder Urashima was known to carry a handgun (in Japan!). In this story, Naru didn't directly attack her either, but she was in a beserker rage and had literally thrown her away from herself; that would make anyone nervous. :huh:

PCHeintz, Prince Charon, thanks for the FB.
... Yeah, I'm confused 'bout this. I read the (english-language) LH manga a few days ago, and I don't remember Haruka ever carrying a gun.

The closest I can recall is some sort of festival game; Haruka and Seta both used hand(pop)guns to take down targets. But it was a festival game, so the guns were (most likely) property of the vendor/stand owner.

Is this something that was brought up in supplimental materials?

I know she had some shady friends (the men who came to take over running the Hina Beach Cafe spring to mind), but the gun thing? Nada.


Also: Read the first chapter, loved it, plan to keep reading/following this. Keep up the good work, GC. ^_^
 

GreydonCreed

Well-Known Member
#64
I thought I remember seeing Haruka fire a warning shot out a window to shut the tenants up when Keitaro first arrived at the Hinata-sou. That might be fanon, now that I think about it. Not important to this story, however. In canon, she does know martial arts, and in my story she has some knife skills as well.

Da_fox, thanks for the FB. ^_^
 

da_fox2279

California Crackpot
#65
GreydonCreed said:
I thought I remember seeing Haruka fire a warning shot out a window to shut the tenants up when Keitaro first arrived at the Hinata-sou. That might be fanon, now that I think about it. Not important to this story, however. In canon, she does know martial arts, and in my story she has some knife skills as well.

Da_fox, thanks for the FB. ^_^
Well, considering she traveled with Seta, and the (frankly impressive) linage, I am surprised by the skills Haruka has. She always seemed like a retired badass.

And no problem. Finished reading all the remaining chapters last night; this is shaping up to be one excellent fic. Definetly looking forward to more.
 

GreydonCreed

Well-Known Member
#66
The preliminary first half of Ch 7.

This part takes place 15 years prior to the current story time.


Ch 7

Haruka shut off the ignition on her motorcycle. With the amount of mods done to it, the racer bike was almost whisper quiet. Not to say it was not fast, or did not handle well, but there were quite a few bikers out there that were trying to make up for inadequacies somewhere, and having a supercharged crotch rocket screaming their presence was one of the ways to do it. It was either that or having racer groupies dressed like hentai anime girls hanging all over them, she sneered to herself.

It was almost nine in the morning, and she had been out since before sundown the night before. Even though she was eighteen now and Hina gave her a pretty wide lead, she would not be happy that her adopted daughter was out carousing with a bosozoku crew (1). Therefore, the quiet approach to the back of the house at the bottom of the Hinata-sou.

Dropping the kickstand and rocking the Kawasaki into place, Haruka swung her leg over the tail of the bike and stepped away. Pulling her helmet off, she hung it on a hook on the side of the bike, then she pulled off the bandana off that she had been wearing under the helmet and shook her short hair loose. Haruka had heard too many stories of bikers scrambling their brains in accidents, and did not want to wind up that way, so putting up with sweat-matted hair was a small price to pay.

Unzipping her black leather jacket, she let it hang open over her white t-shirt and leather jeans and dug out a pack of cigarettes. Having picked up the habit in junior high school, it was a difficult one to shake, but necessary to help steady her nerves. After a big test at school, before a race on her bike, before dealing with herà

ôGood morning, Haruka-chan!ö An aged hand snagged the lit cigarette from her mouth as she was taking the first hit, flipping it to the ground and grinding it out with her foot, all in one motion. ôBeautiful day, isnÆt it?ö

ôGood morning, Granny.ö Haruka closed her eyes for a moment mourning the loss of her smoke before looking over the pint-sized terror beside her.

Standing at 150 cm (4Æ10ö) and weighing 54 kilos (90 lbs) soaking wet, Hina Urashima was not a physically imposing woman at first glance. That is, until one felt the sheer personality radiating from her. After meeting her school friends once, one of them stated that Hina was like one of the old martial arts grandmasters you occasionally met in Japan. They did not have to be big, they did not have to be muscular, but you knew they could kick your ass without even trying. Haruka completely agreed with that assessment, due to extensive previous experience. And this was not even counting her learning the family martial arts style at the hands of Hina and her brother Hiro. It was also that mastery that allowed Hina to just appear next to you like she had just teleported, much to her chagrin.

ôUp early this morning, Haruka-chan?ö HinaÆs innocuous question was belied by the knowing look in her eyes. It was her form of a trap; she did not mind people bending the truth some, but lying to her could have serious consequences, especially if they were a family member. Haruka could remember lying once about sneaking out of the house to meet a boy from junior high. She wound up on restriction for a week, and everyday of that restriction had been spent on her knees scrubbing the wooden floors and the hot springs in the Sou. The worse part had been when Hina had invited the boy and his family over to the Sou for tea. After spending two hours scrubbing floors, Haruka had been given ten minutes to make herself presentable before the family arrived, then she had to spend an hour in the seiza position (2) listening to Hina make nice with the boyÆs parents, the boy also squirming in seiza as well. It was not much of a surprise that the boy did not want to have much to do with her after that, even when the boyÆs family kept asking him why he was no longer with that nice Urashima girl.

ôWell, it was a nice sunrise today.ö And it was, only she had seen it speeding down the expressway on her bike on the way home rather than from her window or from some hilltop.

Hina nodded in agreement. ôYes it was. ItÆs good to see young people up early appreciating life, rather than lollygagging in bed on the weekend. You then have a chance to do something constructive.ö

Haruka smiled weakly. That last line did not sound encouraging.

ôKouji and his family arrived last night. It was too late to call you up from here,ö sweat drops formed on the back of HarukaÆs head, ôbut now you can come up and say hello to them,ö smiled Hina.

Haruka nodded in silent agreement. She had not seen her uncle for a couple of years, as he had been setting up his bakery business on the other side of Tokyo. Presumably, things were getting better if he was visiting his mother at the family home for a vacation.

ôGo ahead and change so we can go up to the house.ö Hina smiled thinly. ôYou got ten minutes before I start off without you.ö

Haruka smiled weakly again, then shot off toward the back door and the stairs up to her room. Hina wanted to make a point, and woe to those who were not on time to receive it.

Bursting into her room, she tore off her jacket and tossed it into the armchair next to the window. Kicking off her heavy boots, she shimmied off her leather pants and tossed them on top of the jacket. T-shirt, bra, socks, and panties flew into the hamper, then she darted into the small bathroom attached her room.

Wetting a washcloth, she rapidly washed her face, then scrubbed down the rest of her body before darting back to her room. Pulling open her dresser, she wiggled into a clean set of bra and panties before pulling on socks and a pair of faded jeans. Throwing open the closet, she grabbed a sleeveless dark blue top and pulled it on. Stepping back to her leather jacket and pants, she grabbed all her pocket litter and shoved it into the pockets of her jeans.

Dashing back to the bathroom, Haruka quickly ran a comb through her hair and sprayed some deodorant on. Moving back to the closet, she grabbed a comfy pair of sneakers and took off toward the stairs again.

Skidding to a stop by the door, Haruka pulled on her sneakers and then took a deep breath. A moment later she stepped outside and stopped next to Granny, who was standing there with her head slightly cocked to one side, no expression on her face.

ôNine minutes thirty seconds. You could do better, Haruka-chan.ö Hina smiled slightly before turning and walking to stairs. Knowing better than to respond to that remark, Haruka followed her, to the left and a half step behind her.

After a five minute climb that was more like a forced march than a walk up stairs, Haruka was trying to conceal her heavy breathing while Hina stood inhaling easily at the top of the stairs, looking like she had just walked across a street and not climbed a hundred steps uphill.

ôKouji and Yuki are at the hot springs right now, so you will meet with them later.ö Haruka tried not to gape at Hina; if the couple was busy, then why the rush to get up here? ôI thought you might want to meet someone else,ö continued Hina, answering the unspoken question. Walking around the side of the building, Haruka followed Granny Hina until she stopped just short of the sandbox in the back yard, set up for the children of guests of the hot spring. There were two children sitting there, a little girl and a little boy.

Haruka glanced at the girl, noting that she looked about three years of age and had long brown hair. She was slowly digging into the sand with a little plastic shovel, filling a matching pail.

The boy, who looked to be a couple years older than the girl, waited until the girl filled the pail, then picked it up and dumped it on a large mound of sand that somewhat resembled a castle. Returning the pail to the little girl, who started to refill it, the boy went back to the large pile and tried to shape it, but he was not doing a very good job of it. It looked more like a large turtle than a castle, to tell the truth.

ôYoko, thank you for watching over them. You can go back to the house now.öHaruka looked over to see that Hina was speaking to an older woman with salt and pepper hair and wearing round granny glasses and an apron. The woman nodded silently and walked back into the main house.

ôThe little girl is Naru, she is the daughter of some guests here. SheÆs been a little sickly for all of her life, and her parents are hoping coming to the springs might help improve her health.ö Hina spoke softly, not wanting to startle or scare the children.

ôAnd the little boy?ö Haruka asked.

ôWhat, you donÆt recognize your own nephew?ö Hina smiled thinly again.

Haruka grimaced. She had been adopted by Hina after her parentsÆ death, even though they were already of the same blood and family name. It was one of the ways that Hina tried to make her feel closer to her family, in addition to preventing a custody fight with her motherÆs family, who seemed to be a little too interested in HarukaÆs trust fund and family insurance payout. Since she was now considered KoujiÆs adopted sister instead of his niece, she would be his sonÆs aunt instead of his cousin.

ôIÆm too young to be an oba-chan,ö Haruka muttered in disgust.

Hina went from a thin smile to a grin.ôYou really donÆt have a choice in the matter, do you? Unless you plan to stay young forever.ö

ôIÆm working on it,ö Haruka replied, looking back at the little boy.

ôNot if you keep smoking and racing motorcycles, you wonÆt.ö Hina did not wait for a reply as she turned toward the sandbox. ôKei-kun, come over here!ö she called.

The little boy stood up from the sand and carefully stepped over the enclosure before running over to Hina. ôGranny!ö he called just before he slammed into her, rocking her back slightly as his face was pressed into her stomach and wrapping his arms around her.

Hina smiled as she looked down at her grandson, ruffling his short dark hair, ôKei-kun, I have someone I want you to meet.ö Pulling away from Hina, the boy looked over and up at Haruka, who was looking down at him.

ôKeitaro-kun, this is Haruka-chan, your oba-chan. Go ahead and say hi to her.ö Hina stepped back out of the way from in between the two.

The little boy squinted at Haruka, as though he could not see very well. Taking a couple steps forward, he spoke, his face contorting as his mouth formed around the unfamiliar name. ôHa- ru-à Ha- ru-àö He stopped for a moment before he grinned and started again. ôHaru-chan! Haru-chan!ö

Haruka smiled in spite of herself. The boy had such a sunny personality that it was hard not to smile in response. ôHi there, Kei-kun.ö

Keitaro smiled then said ôOba-chan?ö saying it the same way he did for Granny Hina. The accent was on the second vowel of oba, which meant ægrandmotherÆ, or informally meant æold womanÆ.

HarukaÆs smile slipped slightly. ôNo, Oba-chan.ö She pronounced it with the accent on the first vowel, which was the correct way to say æauntÆ.

ôOba-chan, oba-chan!ö Keitaro kept pronouncing it the first way, the way he did with Hina.

Haruka sighed. It was hard to stay mad at her smiling and bouncing baby cousinà nephewà whatever. ôHaru-chan,ö she replied, deciding to cut her loses.

ôHaru-chan!ö To her surprise, Keitaro jumped up and into HarukaÆs arms, almost knocking the unprepared teen over before she steadied herself. The boy wrapped his arms around her neck and snuggled his face against her. Haruka stood stiffly for a moment before she relaxed slightly.

ôOh, this is so cute!ö Haruka and Keitaro turned at HinaÆs voice, just in time to be blinded by the flash of a camera. Trying to blink the spots from her eyes, Haruka stood there as she heard Hina take a couple more pictures, until finally she could see clearly again and saw Hina standing there with a smirk on her face, sliding a camera back into a pocket.

ôHaruka-chan, I have to do some things with the guests, could you keep an eye on the children until lunchtime?ö Haruka knew that the question was anything but that. Saying no was not an option.

ôSure, Granny.ö ItÆs not like she need sleep after her long night out.

ôOh, and can you help Kei-kun and Naru-chan with their sand castle? I want to take a picture of all of you together before lunch.ö Hina grinned at Haruka.

Smiling weakly, Haruka nodded.öNot a problem, Granny.ö Looking back at the sand turtle, she knew this was HinaÆs way of getting back at her for staying out last night.

ôHave fun, kids!ö Hina turned and walked back into the house.

Turning her head, Haruka looked at Keitaro, who was staring at her solemnly.öHaru-chan smell bad.ö

HarukaÆs eyes went wide before she realized what he was talking about. His face had been next to her hair, which smelled of sweat and cigarette smoke. She sighed to herself; she did not want grooming criticism from a five year old, but the kid had a point.

ôIÆll wash up later, Kei-kun. LetÆs go work on your turtleà I mean your castle.öSlowly putting him down on the ground, Haruka took his hand and walked toward the sandbox, the boy cheering and pulling her along.

-----

1 - bosozoku - literally, violent running tribe; applied to motorcycle gangs in Japan. Some groups are relatively non-criminal, but some are recruiting grounds for the Yakuza (organized crime).

2 - seiza - formal sitting; kneeling on the floor with the feet tucked so the top of the feet are against the floor and the heels are in a æVÆ shape with the person sitting between them. It can get very uncomfortable and/or painful if the person is not used to it, or they are in the position for too long.

-----
 

GreydonCreed

Well-Known Member
#68
ragnarok1337 said:
*Reads Hina's actions*

Bitch.
Do you want to go into detail why you think of that about Hina? If it is because of Haruka's punishment when she snuck out of the house when she was younger(er), remember she was in Jr. High (13), and went to meet with a boy (alone!) and lied about it. The punishment was for both offenses, and was less than what she was to originally receive, which was two weeks. I know in the US she would have gotten a months restriction with no extra duty, but tell me this - what are the chances Haruka is going to reoffend like that?

If it is because of the physical nature of Haruka's punishment, it was unpleasant, but not harmful. It's not like she was made to kneel on gravel, which I know was used as a punishment not so long ago. Plus, sitting seiza was used as a punishment in Japanese schools as well.

Thoughts, please?
 

ragnarok1337

Well-Known Member
#69
It's not what she does, it's HOW she does it. And she proves that she's every bit as big of a troll as she is now. She basically scared the fuck out of the boy Haruka liked, which kept him far away from her. Punishing Haruka with gounding was fine. Punishing the boy as well (if indirectly)? FUCK NO. Let the parents of him take care of that.

Extremely petty, too.
 

GreydonCreed

Well-Known Member
#70
ragnarok1337 said:
It's not what she does, it's HOW she does it. And she proves that she's every bit as big of a troll as she is now. She basically scared the fuck out of the boy Haruka liked, which kept him far away from her. Punishing Haruka with gounding was fine. Punishing the boy as well (if indirectly)? FUCK NO. Let the parents of him take care of that.

Extremely petty, too.
What Hina was thinking was that if the boy really was romantically interested in Haruka, sitting uncomfortably for an hour was no big deal. If the kid was just cruising for a piece of ass, he was going to run like a little bitch. That is why she set it up to more than resemble an omai. Quess what happened here? Hina did not hold a gun to the kid's head, which is what would have happened in the US.

Who is to say if the boy's parents would even think that he was doing something wrong? After all, teen boys are expected to screw around as long as the girl doesn't get pregnant. And if the girl is dumb enough to go out like that...

If you want it to sound better, I can put the the boy was a 15 yr old while Haruka was 13.
 

ragnarok1337

Well-Known Member
#71
GreydonCreed said:
ragnarok1337 said:
It's not what she does, it's HOW she does it. And she proves that she's every bit as big of a troll as she is now. She basically scared the fuck out of the boy Haruka liked, which kept him far away from her. Punishing Haruka with gounding was fine. Punishing the boy as well (if indirectly)? FUCK NO. Let the parents of him take care of that.

Extremely petty, too.
What Hina was thinking was that if the boy really was romantically interested in Haruka, sitting uncomfortably for an hour was no big deal. If the kid was just cruising for a piece of ass, he was going to run like a little bitch. That is why she set it up to more than resemble an omai. Quess what happened here? Hina did not hold a gun to the kid's head, which is what would have happened in the US.

Who is to say if the boy's parents would even think that he was doing something wrong? After all, teen boys are expected to screw around as long as the girl doesn't get pregnant. And if the girl is dumb enough to go out like that...

If you want it to sound better, I can put the the boy was a 15 yr old while Haruka was 13.
Dude. It was a DATE. That's all. And you have given no evidence whatsoever that the guy wanted to get into her pants. Implying an omiai for a first-time boyfriend? Really?
 

FinalMax

Well-Known Member
#72
GreydonCreed said:
ragnarok1337 said:
*Reads Hina's actions*

Bitch.
Do you want to go into detail why you think of that about Hina? If it is because of Haruka's punishment when she snuck out of the house when she was younger(er), remember she was in Jr. High (13), and went to meet with a boy (alone!) and lied about it. The punishment was for both offenses, and was less than what she was to originally receive, which was two weeks. I know in the US she would have gotten a months restriction with no extra duty, but tell me this - what are the chances Haruka is going to reoffend like that?

If it is because of the physical nature of Haruka's punishment, it was unpleasant, but not harmful. It's not like she was made to kneel on gravel, which I know was used as a punishment not so long ago. Plus, sitting seiza was used as a punishment in Japanese schools as well.

Thoughts, please?
Restriction?

I'm smelling either a foreign term for punishment or grounding, or some kind of military terminology. One doesn't bode well for story direction. Guess which one?

On top of that, it sets up a flashback for Haruka. That smells more of a stalling tactic to pad things out while trying to figure things out for your "protagonist." While some behavior is within reason, I'm getting too much of a vibe that everything is going to be thrown out the door.
 

GreydonCreed

Well-Known Member
#73
ragnarok1337 said:
Dude. It was a DATE. That's all. And you have given no evidence whatsoever that the guy wanted to get into her pants. Implying an omiai for a first-time boyfriend? Really?
With my extensive previous experience as a 15 year old, oh so many years ago, I can tell you that sex was ALWAYS on my mind, even though I was in no position to do anything about it. :( And I was one of the nice guys. ;)

There is a technical term for when older boys that ask out younger, less experienced girls - poaching. They figure girls their age aren't going to go with them, so they go and find girls that are are younger and very happy to have a 'older' boyfriend. And if they ask the girl to meet with them alone... chances are it's not to just hold hands and discuss poetry. <_<

This is NOT to say that all this happened to Haruka. This is just an example; Hina was able to put a stop to *that* relationship as I previously stated. Like I said before, if a boy wants to get romantically involved with a girl, Hina's tea party would be considered a good thing. It would not be a good thing if you are some school boy lothario working his way though the junior high girls. Hina was heavy-handed, but ultimately justified IMO.
 

PCHeintz72

The Sentient Fanfic Search Engine mk II
#74
Hmmm... you might still be reading more into it than needed for a date.

I can say at that age sex was not always on my mind, just getting out of high school... bleagh, was much happier in college.

As for 'poaching', I myself took a younger girl to my senior prom... though in that case I was 18 and she 16... nothing really came of it though... we were friends and shared a science class.
 

GreydonCreed

Well-Known Member
#75
FinalMax said:
Restriction?á

I'm smelling either a foreign term for punishment or grounding, or some kind of military terminology.á One doesn't bode well for story direction.á Guess which one?
I write more formally than I speak IRL, plus there are non-American readers out there, so I used 'restriction' instead of 'grounding', since it described the punishment without it being too idiomatic. It's not meant to be a military thing, but it sounds like it since it is used in the phrase 'restricted to quarters'.

On top of that, it sets up a flashback for Haruka.á That smells more of a stalling tactic to pad things out while trying to figure things out for your "protagonist."á While some behavior is within reason, I'm getting too much of a vibe that everything is going to be thrown out the door.
What I am trying to do is establish Haruka's background, so we know why she is the cool aunt that she is. Plus, I want to show how Haruka and Keitaro first met (the last time she had seen him he had been an infant).

Due to Hina's experiences as a result of the Pacific War, she justifies to herself the manipulation of her family as for their own good and the good of the Urashima family. It ain't always right, and it ain't proper, but she hasn't done all that badly, has she? Granted, Haruka was a little rebellious as a teen, but she turned out OK, except for her not producing Urashima grandbabies yet.... ^_^
 
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