New forum, new ideas, new stuff and old stuff edited! Enjoy!
Prologue
Jackbots have somewhat of a dull life, especially since they suddenly became obsolete, if the speed and easiness with which they are dispatched are any indication. But it's a wonder they have a life at all. How? Well, that's...
"Jackbots." A muddy squelchy step echoed from the secret entrance to the basement slash secret lab of evil. The four Jackbots turned around and laid their electronic eyes on the tar-covered figure of their creator. "A bath. And a change of clothes."
They immediately turned to action, two of the bots levitating upstairs to prepare the bath and fresh clothes while the other two began to help him undress. No muddy shoes in the house, his mother always said. "Thanks." He collected a towel from the nearest Jackbot, wiping the mud from his eyes. Narrowed eyes. "A tar pit showdown?
Seriously?! Feather brained losers!"
It was one of those days. If he came back subdued and then exploded into a rant, he had not only lost but got humiliated in the process. "Jackbots!" And that called for extreme measures to cheer up the self proclaimed evil boy genius. "
Prepare for cake." And that was creative cake making. The third Jackbot went to prepare the table while the fourth one handed him mail. "Huh? Mail?" There was a postcard from his grandma from Sweden -
Wish you'd conquer this- and a bottle full of a strange black mixture. "I don't remember ordering this... Whatever it is." He observed it for a while before shrugging and tossing it to the Jackbot. "Meh, put it wherever. I'll sort it out later."
The Jackbot obeyed, his programming processing the information that his creator had covered the label with the addressee and the chemical's name with tar as superfluous.
-DespicableJack-
“Alright, Jackbots and cuisine afictionados! It's creative cake cooking time!†Now clean, wearing a chef's hat and a 'Kiss the EVIL cook' apron, Jack stood in front of a crowd of Jackbots and a table covered with ingredients and tools. A single bot holding a bowl with paper slips approached him. He trust his arm inside. “Today's theme is...†He picked out a single paper slip and read it. He then held it up to the sky with both hands, like a sacred relic. “
Nursery rhymes!â€
The crowd of bots played a recording of clapping while he recovered an empty bowl. “Now, nursery rhyme, nursery rhyme... Ah! Got it!†He remembered one his grandma always sang to him. He cleared his throat. “What are little boys made of?
Frogs, and snails, and puppy-dogs' tails!†One single bot played a recording of crickets. “... I think we're out of those. Moving on!†Pirouetting on himself, he grabbed two bags of ingredients. “What are little girls made of? Sugar!†He poured a full bag of sugar. A Jackout yucked electronically at the amount. “Spice!†A bit of spice raised in a cloud to his nose. “
AT-CHOOM!†He avoided his head. “Sniffle... Okay, spice, and... Everything nice!†He filled the bowl to the brim, standing on one stretched toe. “... Wait a minute.†He observed the bag in his hand. “They actually
sell everything nice?â€
He stared some more at the gold-coloured bag. With a shrug, he tossed it away. “Alright! Now to mix it up!†Grabbing a spatula, Jack started mixing the contents of the bowl with energetic whipping motions. You'd never say by looking at him, but the evil boy genius actually got good cooking skills. “Hmm, maybe I could add something else for a bit more punch?†The problem lies in his taste for mixing together random ingredients. “Chocolate syrup!†And while sugar and spice and chocolate syrup may make some kind of sense... “This cake is gonna be an
explosion of tas-†The bottle he grabbed and emptied into the bowl didn't contain chocolate syrup.
-DespicableJack-
“Huh, how strange. The Chemical X has yet to arrive? I thought they shipped it last week.†Somewhere in another part of the country, a square-headed scientist mused the lack of a certain package in his mail. “Oh, well. I don't need it immediately. It's for a later experiment.†The professor chuckled as he thought of his next venue. Creating the perfect little girls.
-DespicableJack-
“Ooooooow...†Jack groaned, his head ringing and pulsating with pain. And those annoying spots of white in his vision just wouldn't go away. He moved his arms around, trying to find something to hold onto to lift himself up. He hissed. His head thought it was a bad idea. “Nnnh... What the hell do they put into chocolate syrup nowadays?†Going from thought-numbing to throbbing, the pain slowly started to subside, and his vision to clear. The first thing he noticed was the trashed equipment and bots. One in particular was on his side rolling in a circle, sparkles flying everywhere. “Darn it. That one had just been repaired.†Then, three round shapes. “Hmm?†Blots of colour that slowly acquired clear shapes and-Big.
Three sets of the
biggest eyes he had ever seen, in three different colors. Attached to the eyes, if he wasn't seeing things, were petite bodies clad in striped dresses, in black and the color of each of the irises. All staring up at him. Smiling. “Hi!†And then the red one talked.
Thump.
“... Oh.â€
Meinos Kaen presents
A Cartoon Network X-Over
Despicable Jack
“Hmm...†Why was he sleeping on the floor? Had he mishandled a live wire again? Shaking his head, he slowly came to.
'I think I remember something about cake. And eyes staring deep into my soul.' “What the hell did I put in it?â€
“Uhm, hi again?â€
That voice. It was familiar. No, scratch familiar. It was the last thing he had heard before... He shot his head up again. Eyes.
“
EEEEEEEEEEEEK!†He landed a couple meters back, pointing at the three round things with an index finger, moving the corresponding arm from red to blue to green and then to red again. “You... What...
HOW...!†The blue one suddenly started giggling. “
WHAT'S SO FUNNY?!â€
“Ah, good. You didn't pass out this time.†Everything came back to him as the red one mentioned passing out. “What's your name?â€
“Eh? Huh... I'm Jack. Jack Spicer.†In a form of self-defense his brain decided to play along. “A-A-And who are
you?!†For a few seconds.
“Well, you made us. Shouldn't you be the one to give us names?†He stopped, his eyes wide. Not as wide as
theirs, but still wide.
“I... Made you?†The three little girls-he had successfully identified them as such-nodded in unison. His head shot in the direction of the table. “The Chocolate Syrup?â€
“That's my name?†The red girl asked, but Jack just walked past them and to the table, searching for something.
“Where, where, where... Ah-ah!†He found the remains of the bottle. The explosion had wiped away the tar, uncovering the label. The addressee name was illegible, but the contents... “
Chemical X? I never...†He put his arms on the table, staring at nothing. He had been trying to make cake, and instead he created... He looked over his shoulders at the three little girls, waiting patiently for him to talk to them again. Three little girls. Three. Little.
Girls.
“... Life.†His face suddenly contorted in a maniacal grin as his mad scientist side understood what had just transpired in that room thanks to creative cake cooking. “
I created life! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!†He then exploded into his best version of creepy evil laugh... Until he remembered he had an audience. Who were now staring at him in confusion. Flushing, he coughed in his fist. “Ah-ehm. Okay, starting over.†He flashed them his patented evil grin. “My name is
Jack Spicer, evil boy genius and
future ruler of the world!â€
“Hello, Jack. It's very nice to meet you.†They replied in unison. He grinned wider.
“I know, I know. And you-Ah, right! Names, names. Hmmm...†He pursed his lips, stroked his chin and started tapping his right foot. Ideas for names, ideas for names... That's when his eyes fell on the scattered ingredients on the floor, right on the left of the girls. There was a circle of now destroyed buttercup squash and relative blossoms, and some of said cucurbitacea's innards had ended up on the overheated plate of a damaged Jackbot, causing it to boil. He snapped his fingers. “Alright! You, red! You're going to be
Blossom!†The girl smiled, in a proud stance. The blue one giggled some more. “And you're going to be
Bubbles! Fitting too! I am a genius!†He allowed himself another little evil laugh. “And you, green girl, shall be
Buttercup!â€
“Hihihihi!†Bubbles laughed again, noticing a pattern. “They all begin with B.â€
“That's right! Damn, sometimes I'm so awesome I scare myself! Why, I'm trembling!†After exhibiting a sever case of the shakes which earned a collective round of giggling from the three girls, Jack crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Alright! And now that Jack Spicer, evil boy genius, has succeeded in
creating life...!†He raised his arm to the ceiling, staring at the little vastness of it... Only to come up with nothing. “... Huh. Now, this is embarrassing. I have no idea.â€
“Maybe we should clean up?†Blossom's words brought his attention back to the disaster that had befell his basement after the explosion. As to emphasize the need for a clean up, a Jackbot's head took that moment to roll in and stop at Jack's feet.
“Hmm, good thinking there, Blossom. Alright, let's clean this mess up!†Jack declared, pumped. “Just don't touch anything that smokes, sparkles or twitches.
Especially anything that twitches. Got that?†The three nodded. “Good!†That said, Jack turned his attention to the nearest Jackbot, checking it for the amount of damage. If he could repair one, then there would be two of them repairing the others, and then four and so on till they had a complete work force. That usually cut to a quarter the time needed to finish everything.
“Hey, Jack! Where can I put this?!†Hearing Buttercup's question, he turned around. His jaw promptly made a crack in the floor. “So?!†The black haired girl was currently lifting,
one-handed, a lump of metal and food smears that had been the table upon which he had been working a while before. He slowly raised his arm and pointed at an empty corner. “Alright!†She then skipped to said corner to deposit the ruined desk.
“W-W-WAIT JUST A SECOND!†Setting his jaws again, he sprinted in front of Buttercup, who stared up confused at him. “HOW THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT?â€
“Do what?†She asked. Jack held up her arms, trying to check for hidden muscles. Buttercup snorted and started to laugh. “Hey! That tickles!â€
“Lift that desk! That was
Idon'tknowhowmanykilos of pure steel!†He let go of the arms and raised Buttercup by the legs over his head, giving her a complete once-over. The small girl just kept on laughing, thinking it a game.
“Mister Jack!†Jack's head snapped up. His strangled gasp was almost like a mewl. “It doesn't smoke, sparkles or twitches, but it's flashing! Can I clean it?†Bubbles asked, floating right next to a not so securely screwed lightbulb, her blonde hair inches from the ceiling.
“F... Flying...!†His head snapped to the side, this time because of a brushing noise, like someone using a rag to clean a surface. Only, at
impossible speeds, the impossible speeds at which Blossom's arms were moving. In a few seconds, the wall on the far end of the room was
sparkling.
“There! All-Oh!†Blossom dropped the now burning rag to the ground. Friction. Right. “Is that supposed to happen?†His eyebrows twitched. He took a huge intake of breath.
“
TIME OOOOOOOOOOOUT!†The three girls were confused by the sudden outburst, Buttercup even more so than the others because she had been laughing. He set her down on the floor while Bubbles and Blossom approached her. When they were all standing side by side again, Jack squat down and observed all of them up close. “How did you do that?â€
“Do what, mister Jack?†Bubbles asked, cocking her head to the side cutely.
“
ALL THAT!†He shouted back, and suddenly Bubbles' pretty smile turned sad. And he felt like a bonafide asshole. “S-Sorry! I didn't want to-I'm not angry at you!†She seemed to perk up at that, and he sighed, feeling like he had dodged an enormous bullet. “It's just... Normal people can't fly! And they're not that strong! Or that
fast!â€
“They can't?†Blossom asked. Jack shook his head, bewildered. “Oh! What about this?!†Saying that, the red haired girl's eyes turned a darker shade of crimson. Then, two beams of red light flashed past him and hit a smashed egg on the floor. Instant sunny side up.
“... No.†He replied, his voice little more than a whimper. He turned back to the girls, who were now all smiling. “You can... All do that, too?†They nodded. He couldn't help but stare. Suddenly, he fell to his knees, his hands fisting the dirty cloth on his tights. Then, tears started falling. The three girls gasped.
“M-Mister Jack, why are you crying?!†Bubbles, sensitive Bubbles, was the first one to show concern.
“Did we do something wrong?!†Blossom chimed in, eyes fixed on the flowing black lines of make up.
“W-Why are you so sad?! All of a sudden, too!†Buttercup added her two cents.
The thing is, Jack had just had an epiphany. After years of struggling, months of humiliations and failed missions and Xiaolin Showdowns and Shen-Gon-Wu related shenanigans, he had just made something beautiful. Something
awesome. Three little girls with superpowers. Okay, it was a complete
freak accident, but it still was the most awesome thing he had
ever done in his whole life.
“WAH!†The girls were suddenly wrapped in a salty, bone-shattering -for anyone else- hug.
“Girls, I know you jumped out of my cake mix like, forty minutes ago, but I love you more than anything in the world! More than blueberries muffins!†He pulled his head back to show his teary but smiling face. “And I
love blueberries muffins!†He then resumed his hug, a big grin plastered on his face. The girls cooed sweetly and hugged him back.
“Jack! Honey!†Only for the magic to be interrupted by his mother's voice, her steps coming closer and closer.
“Curses! Girls, behind me!†They obeyed, and three streams of colored light dove behind Jack as he turned his body to meet the stairs. Just in time, too, as the light cast the shadow of his mother's figure in the basement. “Hey, mom!â€
“Honey, me and your dad are leaving. Remember, for that nine months work trip which also includes vacation?†He rolled his eyes. Frankly, yeah, he had forgotten. They were out of the house so much that he saw them more on videocall than in real life. His evil occupations didn't help much, either. “Whatever you need, just give us a call. We'll arrange for someone to come help you.â€
“Okay! Happy pregn-ehm, have a good trip, mom!†With that, the silhouette receded and the steps became far again. Three round heads slowly peeked out from behind his back.
“Who was that?†Blossom asked, curious.
“Don't ask, muffin.†He blinked, confused at his own words. Then he grinned and turned around, grabbing the three girls in a bear hug again, which they promptly returned. “I like that! You're going to be my
itsy bitsy widdle muffins!†Giggles echoed in the basement for a long while, that afternoon.
-DespicableJack-
“Alright! For tonight, you're going to sleep in my parents' bed. Big enough for the three of you, right?†After tidying up the basement and getting something to eat, Jack found himself having to plan housing for his 'muffins'. The girls flew above him and landed with squeals on the king size bed, bouncing. “Tomorrow, I'm going to start working on your room! And furniture! And toys! It'll be awesome!â€
“Can we have a big bed too?!†Bubbles asked, letting out a high pitched squeal right after as she bounced her highest yet.
“Of course! Now, it's sleepy time! Tailor-bot!†A Jackbot wearing a cloth with pins and needs attached floated past him. The girls stopped and focused on the metallic being, which metallic thorax opened to expose three little night robes in three different colors.
“Oooh!†Bubbles awed as she collected the blue garment. "This is mine!"
"Did you make these, Jack?" Buttercub asked as she inspected her nightwear.
"Nope. I made
him." The pale teen patted the robot's head with a grin. “And he made your clothes.â€
“You made all the robots in the house, right?†Blossom commented, smiling widely at him. “You're really a genius, then!â€
Jack resisted the urge to coo, twist and hug his body and instead just smiled and patted the girl on the head. “Yes. I am. Now, get into your pijies and get some shut eye, okay? Love you, muffins.â€
Barely suppressing a squeal as the small lumps under the covers started to rise and drop in unison to their breaths, Jack closed the door behind him. “Aren’t they the cutest, sweetest things ever?!†He got electronic bips in return. He nodded. “Well, of course they wear them god-like. They have a huge sense for fashion, just like their father. By the way, how did it go in Milan?†As the two started walking to his own room, the Tailorbot replied with more electronic noises. “Not bad. Although, I bet that they didn’t like
that model.†The next beeping sounded almost like a whine. “Told ya, man. Too forward, for this time.â€
-DespicableJack-
“Hmmm...†Moaning cutely, Bubbles awoke from her slumber, noticing how she had at some point during the night latched onto her pillow. Blinking the sleep out of her eyes she dropped out of bed and immediately shivered as she stepped on the naked floor. She started hovering over the bed and out of the room. A sweet smell assaulted her senses. “Aaaaah! What a nice smell...†Smiling, she slowly followed the smell up to its source, ending up in Spicer’s kitchen.
“Now, watch this...†Jack said as he prepared to flip over a pancake, his Jackbots setting up the table and one carefully balancing a two meters high pile of said breakfast dish. “It’s all in the... Wrist!†With a virtuoso usually left to expert cooks, the apron wearing evil genius sent the pancake flying over his head. “Oh, hell!â€
Splat.
And onto something blond. He gasped as he turned around. “B-Bubbles!†Suddenly restless, Jack rushed to the pigtailed girl’s side, her face completely hidden by the steaming round food. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t know you were there –by the way, good morning- and I swear I didn’t mean to-are you okay?!â€
Bubbles just kept on hovering in mid-air for a few seconds, before her hands went to grab onto the pancake and pulled it off, the small girl already munching at it. Jack stared, confused, until she finished chewing and swallowed, smiling brightly. “It’s good!â€
Letting out the breath he had been holding in, Jack grinned and gently grabbed the small girl, hoisting her up on one shoulder, marveling at her almost unnoticeable weight. “And wait until you try them with maple syrup! Now, what do you say we go wake your sisters too?â€
-DespicableJack-
One week passed since Jack’s incident which the evil boy genius put down as the girls’ birthday and the greatest day of his life. He had built them a huge room using four-dimensional technology, a great number of toys, and spent most of the times playing with them or evaluating their abilities.
Jack loved them no matter what they could or couldn’t do. He did from moment one he realized he had become a
father to the cutest girls ever existed in the universe, but holy shit, did he create something awesome.
If their personalities were very different from each other -Blossom was very curious and a bit of a bookworm, Bubbles was the typical unicorns and sunshine baby girl, Buttercup was going to grow up a tomboy for sure- they all shared the same superhuman abilities, which included: supersonic flight, superstrength, superspeed, laser eyes, superdurability, superendurance, etc... In one word, his little girls were
super! Just like he was at their age!
And, he realized, just as him at their age, no matter how intelligent or super he was, there were certain things that he could only learn in school. How to apply himself. Yes, he had always been super-intelligent, but it was only in school, after having tasted a bit of everything, that he decided how to apply it. He loved history, math and science, always found physEd distasteful, good votes but not an actual interest in anything else.
“Okay, girls. Now, be good for daddy, alright? Play nice with the other kids, and what’s rule number one?â€
“Never do those things unless it’s strictly necessary.†The three girls chorused. Buttercup raised one arm. “Does winning at tag count as strictly necessary?â€
“No, it doesn’t, you scamp.†Jack answered, messing up her hair. “Now go to the other kids, alright? I’ll be back to pick you up this afternoon.â€
“Okay!†Buttercup walked away, adjusting her hair. Blossom waved as she followed her sister. Bubble stayed behind, staring up at Jack with her arms raised. The evil genius suppressed a squeal and leaned down to hug one last time the blonde girl, who rewarded him with a kiss on the cheek. He let her go and watched her walk to the other kids, who were already fussing over their new classmates.
“Excuse me, mister Spicer.†The magic was broken by ms Kelly, the redhead who was the kindergarten’s teacher.
“Yes?†He wondered why she was looking at him like that. He had dropped the evil genius facade for the day. He was wearing the clothes of -he shivered- his good double. But not the hair! The hair stayed like it was!
“Hmm, maybe it’s not my place, but, are you really those three girls’ father?†Ah. Yeah, he hadn’t really thought about that. He
was a bit too young for that, after all.
“Well, not their natural one. No.†He answered with a subdued grin. “But, they’re my responsibility now.â€

“... Isn’t that hard? You look like you should be in school yourself.†Age-wise? Yeah. But it had been
years since he had seen a school building.
“Heh, let’s just say a graduated early.†He thought about it. “Ehm, that’s not slang for
dropped out. I really graduated early. I skipped a few years because of academic achievement.â€
“Oh. That’s commendable. Then, I suppose you have an occupation.†He resisted the urge to roll his eyes, but his smile became way more forced. What was this, an interrogation?
“Yeah. I’m a mechanical engineer-†Saved by the bell. Or better, by the wristwatch. Shen-Gon-Wu discovered. “Speaking of which! Work! Sorry to cut this short, but I must run!â€
“Oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hold you! Have a nice day!†He bowed and ran out of the school. Finally, a new Shen-Gon-Wu! It was a good day for showdown! It was a good day for REVENGE!
-DespicableJack-
For once, it seemed like luck was on his side. Meaning, the only contenders for this particular Wu were him and the Xiaolin losers. And then, only him and the cue-ball who, on turn, chose a showdown that was kind of his thing. The Shen Gon Wu had, for some reason, appeared in Machu Picchu, and the showdown was to get to the top of the pyramid, getting past massive doors by answering riddles and pop quizzes.
“Got you now!†So, while the yellow cue-ball could traverse the trap-filled corridors faster than him, he could get to the various answers much faster than him. Now, the small monk had stopped in front of the last door, for some reason.
“Today, you’ve been showing yourself a worthy opponent, Jack Spicer! But I shall be victorious in the end!†The minute individual declared, earning a raspberry from the older boy.
“Come on, Omi! Don’t you dare let your leader down!†Raimundo chimed in from his spectator seat, high above them in a bubble.
“Come on! It’s almost lunch-time! We’ve got special stew today, at the temple!†Jack tuned out Kimiko’s cheer as Clay’s words made him look at his wrist-watch. He gaped.
“TIME OOOOOOOOUT! STOP THE SHOWDOWN!†Jack suddenly shouted, startling four monks and one dragon. And surprisingly, the showdown
did stop, their modified surroundings going back to normal and the Shen Gon Wu hovering easily to the ground. “Oh, damn! I should have put an alarm! Sorry, we’re gonna have to finish this another time! I have to run!â€
“You have to
what?†Kimiko deadpanned, the only one of her group not focused anymore on the fact that all this time stopping a showdown was possible.
“I’m gonna be
laaaaaaate!†Jack ignored and ran back to his vehicle, departing right after, breaking the sound barrier in the process.
“... Dojo, what the hell just happened?†Asked Clay, confused by everything.
“No. The right question is: DOJO, YOU CAN
STOP XIAOLIN SHOWDOWNS?!†Raimundo continued, enraged by the new discovery. “WHY THE HELL HAVE YOU NEVER TOLD US?!â€
“Ehm, the thing is, you
can stop Xiaolin Showdowns, yes, but if you do, until the exact same contestants decide to restart the contest, the Wu...â€
“YEEEEEOWCH!†Omi yelled as his hand was horribly burned on contact with the idle Shen Gon Wu.
In the meanwhile, from a well hidden observation place, an unseen persona was as surprised as the monks but not for the showdown interruption. She knew about that technicality.
In all the time she had known the young Jack Spicer, he had never, ever even thought about giving up or interrupting a showdown. He was, if anything else, persistent. An admirable quality among his many faults.
What the hell could have been so important for him to want to interrupt a showdown out of sheer need?
...
