I'm enjoying this very much, and as a fervent KeixMotoko shipper,
I officially submit my request for MOAR!
As I started reading, I thought that this was an alternative to the Burning Blades arc (not a bad thing, good segue piece for Motoko development); but as I continued reading and picking up on subtle and not so subtle nuances, I noticed you tossed all that "established canon/fanon" out the window and made it your own. Kudos on that.
I like your take on Tsuruko for this story, more understanding, more open minded, more visibly caring toward Motoko, but still a bit of a hardass when she has to be. While she does have moments of your (now) classic Pervert!Tsuruko, she's not just doing it for the lulz (this time).
Motoko seems to be experiencing some growth, or at least understanding the graveness of the actions that got her (and Kei) into this situation. Keitaro's words that evening may have pushed her into seeing him in a different (more attractive?) light. The question here is... since she's already engaged, will she work on getting the engagement undone or will she accept it and find her place beside Keitaro (even going officially/publicly vs the other Hina girls)?.
Keitaro, not the complete klutz most writers peg him for. Sure he still has his head in the clouds for Toudai and the Promise Girl. His reading up on marriage/engagement law shows that he is trying to get out of the situation, but his subconscious might be starting to consider the Motoko route. With Motoko seeming to be a bit interested in him (and not because of the seppuku clause in their engagement), and even Kitsune checking in and telling him something along the lines of "he ain't half bad", he might gain the confidence he needs to try out the engagement, resolve things with Naru/Mutsumi... or at least generate lulz trying while trying to set things straight.
How do you do those seamless mood shifts Raa?
One moment I was completely focused on the burgeoning drama and then the well timed one liner had me almost laughing out my liquid screwdriver (Vodka+OJ) though my nose... yes I found those moments THAT hillarious. :snigger: