Uh, yeah. What you wrote, that is pretty much exactly what I got from it. Him being unhinged and the defense stuff. There is a reason why I previous wrote that this arc boiled down to everyone, Shinji et al, doing wrong things for relatively reasonable reasons with limited information under stress.
That is why I had the qualifier "if that was the intention" because it wasn't enough to emphasize this in that case (I got it but as PCH wrote, he arrived at a different but equally valid interpretation) and it was a bit too much deflection just on the surface level due to the sophistry. Lashing out at Misato was all well and good but some of the other targets were unprompted (such as younger Shinji; rather than defensive it read extremely similarly to common justification to the reasoning in bashfics) as well as hypocritical because it is still internalized but expressed in a different way. The characterization flipping between the scenes don't really help much in that regard due to what happens in the end of the chapter.
I just thought that you needed to have a buffer scene/s in between the whole coitus scene and that you are teetering over/tipping between the edge of Hollywood Awesome with Micheal Bay explosions into the Edgy McEdge show starring Tom Cruz. I'm not saying that it is a bashfic but it could legitimately be viewed that way if one wishes to see it in that lens. It was clear earlier that you were trying to display less flattering sides of characters in a balance of actual characterization and authorial prerogative (it is why I defended you earlier) but in your attempt at having Shinji vent, it goes too much one way on the spectrum.
Anyways, good luck with your fic. I was just giving a balanced analysis of the chapter when posting about the update. I have no horse in this race.
Anyways, I think I might try to read Unbroken that PC recommended but I can't shake the feeling that I've seen this before... No idea why I dropped in the first place if this is true and I am hesitant to read it since I may have already dropped it... Anyone else read it before that can give a small synopsis?
That is why I had the qualifier "if that was the intention" because it wasn't enough to emphasize this in that case (I got it but as PCH wrote, he arrived at a different but equally valid interpretation) and it was a bit too much deflection just on the surface level due to the sophistry. Lashing out at Misato was all well and good but some of the other targets were unprompted (such as younger Shinji; rather than defensive it read extremely similarly to common justification to the reasoning in bashfics) as well as hypocritical because it is still internalized but expressed in a different way. The characterization flipping between the scenes don't really help much in that regard due to what happens in the end of the chapter.
I just thought that you needed to have a buffer scene/s in between the whole coitus scene and that you are teetering over/tipping between the edge of Hollywood Awesome with Micheal Bay explosions into the Edgy McEdge show starring Tom Cruz. I'm not saying that it is a bashfic but it could legitimately be viewed that way if one wishes to see it in that lens. It was clear earlier that you were trying to display less flattering sides of characters in a balance of actual characterization and authorial prerogative (it is why I defended you earlier) but in your attempt at having Shinji vent, it goes too much one way on the spectrum.
Anyways, good luck with your fic. I was just giving a balanced analysis of the chapter when posting about the update. I have no horse in this race.
Anyways, I think I might try to read Unbroken that PC recommended but I can't shake the feeling that I've seen this before... No idea why I dropped in the first place if this is true and I am hesitant to read it since I may have already dropped it... Anyone else read it before that can give a small synopsis?
