Nasuverse Fact Checking for upcoming fic

[Ryogas_BF]

Okay I've been studying over the FS/N media and such and Have gotten an idea for a fic. It's Mostly Negima so it will be in that thread not this but I've seen people are pretty particular with the details of FS/N. I've been working things out with WindFalcon but I thought I'd throw something up here to get a general view on what people think.

please note I do not plan on changing the servents but if one seems grossly out of place I could consider it. A few I also need help with Noble Phantasms, any help on that front will be welcomed.

The list

Saber - Same as canon. She's pretty much the stand out servent from the orginal so i don't want to change her.

Archer - Robyn of locksley... WF thought I needed another female servent so Robin hood gets the king arthur treatment.
Origin - British ilses
Weapon - Bow, everfilling quiver, back up long sword.

unique abilites - Eagle eye, Leadership, Stratagy

NP - Having trouble deciding, thinking somehow related to being abale to split an arrow, like several shots all hitting the same place. *shrug*

Rider - Aladdin
Origin - Araben Nights
Weapon - pair of daggers and quick wits.

Unique powers - Superior reflexes, acrobatics, pickpocketing

NP
1) Flying Carpet - He can summon his flying carpet and use it as either a quick get away, joy riding, or a moble fighting platform. It reacts to his instinct and he can move it it abrutly to avoid sudden attacks. He can also remain standing on it nearly all times even when most wound need to cling with dear life.

2) The Ring of Three Wishs - Well not the most powerful servent in his own right he does have a trump card. Three times he can summon the Genie of his magic ring to pull off supernatural feats or assist him with a difficult foe. but it can only be used three times so he will need to use so sparingly. there are many limits to these tasks but there is still much that can be pulled off.

Lancer - Anansi, The king of stories.
origin - African Folklore
Weapon of choice - Cerimonial staff, marked of the sky god. Traps and trickery

Unique powers - can walk on walls and create webs. Divinity

NP
1) True Form - He transforms into his true form, that of a giant spider. Gaining a tough exoskeleton, superior strength, and reflexes. Only uses this as a last resort (or under order from his master)

Berserker - Achilles
Origin - Greek myths
Weapons of choice - Skilled with most melee weapons as well as fists.

Unique powers - Battle experiance, Divinity, Mad enhancement (unlike hercs it is toggled on or off)

NP
1) Bless by the River Stix - Having been bathed in the river styx as a baby he is immune to all that would harm him. He can still be evaded, trapped or otherwise held up but he cannot be injured. Should a blow stike anywhere on his person save for his right heel they will either miss or have no effect. Though if his heel takes an sort of cut or wound he will die.

Caster - Nagi Springfield
origin - Magic world of negima
Weapon of choice - Staff, hand to hand and a few good spells

Unique powers - Renown, large pool of Mana

NP
Unknown

Assassin - doesn't really matter too much as they all come from the same clan under the same assumed name. Likely not going to play a big role.

Rogue Servent
Lancer - Vlad the impaler
Origin - Western Europe
Weapon of choice - Spear or Pike but skilled with a sword

Unique powers - Vampire, Wealth, large amount of Power

NP
want to have at least two but haven't decided.

comments, suggestions?

 

[marthf1]

Are the new people you brought in, like Vlad the Impaler, famous in a good way? I think one of the requirements was that one must be a hero and have a legend, with the good connotations and not obscure, respectively. I believe anyways.

Aww, too bad Alternate Shirou and Gilgamesh will not be present. Though in the anime, they were only there to mess with the mind. In the game, did they not play rather large parts, depending on the scenario?

 

[Ryogas_BF]

Are the new people you brought in, like Vlad the Impaler, famous in a good way? I think one of the requirements was that one must be a hero and have a legend, with the good connotations and not obscure, respectively. I believe anyways.

Aww, too bad Alternate Shirou and Gilgamesh will not be present. Though in the anime, they were only there to mess with the mind. In the game, did they not play rather large parts, depending on the scenario?

All the base servants yes.

Robin hood - Good
Achilles - not necessarily good but he was a Greek hero
Aladdin - good
Anansi - An african folkhero but but there are plenty of times he's out for his own selfish wants.
Nagi - He's practically Elvis in the Negima world.

Vlad.... not so much. I mean he was a ruling figure in Europe for many years but hardly a good person

As for the 'good' thing I saw nothing written that a servant had to be famous for good deeds... I could be wrong. If someone can clarify then I could find something to refit in Evangeline's past instead of vlad.



archer had a rather large part in the ultimate blade works senerio. it really goes into archers and Shiro's connection... he also has a somewhat interesting meeting in heavens feel (the fate scenerio is shown int he anime). BUT with no shiro that means no archer *shrug*

Gilgamesh was cool and all but vlad has a connection to some of the other characters.

 

[Fatuous One]

???

 

[Ryogas_BF]

Lancer - Anansi, The king of stories.
origin - African Folklore
Weapon of choice - Cerimonial staff, marked of the sky god. Traps and trickery

Not one hundred percent, but according to Wikipedia, Anansi is a god. As in, both his father and mother were full divinity. If that's the case, he's a no-go. While godlings, demi-humans, and other such things are usually free game, full deities cannot be summoned. I kind of doubt the grail could even summon creatures like that.



I'm not going to touch any crossover elements.

Hm... darn. I really liked Anansi, but you do kinda have me there.

I'll try to think of someone else.

 

[Shiakou]

2) The Ring of Three Wishs - Well not the most powerful servent in his own right he does have a trump card. Three times he can summon the Genie of his magic ring to pull off supernatural feats or assist him with a difficult foe. but it can only be used three times so he will need to use so sparingly. there are many limits to these tasks but there is still much that can be pulled off.

The description makes me think the ring is underpowered. IIRC, an E rank in a stat means that a Servant is ten(?) times as strong in that stat as a normal human, and that's the lowest rank. They also cannot be killed by the mundane: only magical and supernatural means can even hurt them.

Which basically means that a Ring allowing Alladin to do "Supernatural feats" or "assist him with a difficult foe" all of three times isn't much help at all.

 

[AbyssalDaemon]

Vlad.... not so much. I mean he was a ruling figure in Europe for many years but hardly a good person

As for the 'good' thing I saw nothing written that a servant had to be famous for good deeds... I could be wrong. If someone can clarify then I could find something to refit in Evangeline's past instead of vlad.

Depends on who you ask, to the people of Romania he was a hero. Keep in mind that a good number of people who are heroes can be also called villains by those on the other side facing them. Not that he was at all a nice person in any way.

But anyhow I'd judge them on whether they could be called a hero or villain depending on what they're called in their homeland. Vlad for example is considered to be a hero in Romania while elsewhere he's a monster while somebody like Oda Nobunaga whose been villainized in Japan would probably fall into anti-hero.

 

[ttestagr]

Anansi can be used if you want. Just remember that a person's legend isn't always correct. At the point your making Robin Hood female, giving a bit of mortality to one of Anansi's parents isn't too big of a deal.

I like Achilles though. He's the ultimate Berserker hero, considering that his rage gives him the power to defy fate. As for a NP, the only thing notable is his armor, which could make for a very good passive ability.

 

[Ryogas_BF]

Shiakou - well it's not liked Aladdin is helpless on his own, I mean he's the quickest most acrobatic servant of the group and an equally quick mind for improvisation. But if your going raw physical power or Magical power to match up against the others ne come sup short so He gets three shots to pulls of things when he find himself stuck and unable to get out of a situation...

AbyssalDaemon - indeed

ttestagr - point... giving him a mortal mother would not be too bad. Besides I really like what I have in mind for Anansi...

 

[alansg]

Why not use Lu Bu as a lancer?

 

[Shiakou]

Shiakou - well it's not liked Aladdin is helpless on his own, I mean he's the quickest most acrobatic servant of the group and an equally quick mind for improvisation. But if your going raw physical power or Magical power to match up against the others ne come sup short so He gets three shots to pulls of things when he find himself stuck and unable to get out of a situation...

Yes, but it's still just so weak compared to the other Servants. Even Medusa had a very strong NP that, with help from Shirou, was able to match Excalibur. I'd suggest giving him a third NP: The Lamp. In the earliest stories, the genie of the ring was inferior to the genie of the lamp. You could make it so that the lamp was more powerful than the ring, but needed a sacrifice in addition to being limited to three uses.

I've read a very good story on the Beast's Lair where Vlad was used as a Berserker, so there's definitely precedent there.

That said, most of your Servants don't seem all that strong from the descriptions alone. I'll hold judgement until the actual fic, but just remember that there's a reason these people are legendary; all of them are capable of defeating armies or killing other legendaries, and their power has amplified even further by the Grail's nature.

 

[Ryogas_BF]

Shiakou - well it's not liked Aladdin is helpless on his own, I mean he's the quickest most acrobatic servant of the group and an equally quick mind for improvisation. But if your going raw physical power or Magical power to match up against the others ne come sup short so He gets three shots? to pulls of things when he find himself stuck and unable to get out of a situation...

Yes, but it's still just so weak compared to the other Servants. Even Medusa had a very strong NP that, with help from Shirou, was able to match Excalibur. I'd suggest giving him a third NP: The Lamp. In the earliest stories, the genie of the ring was inferior to the genie of the lamp. You could make it so that the lamp was more powerful than the ring, but needed a sacrifice in addition to being limited to three uses.

I've read a very good story on the Beast's Lair where Vlad was used as a Berserker, so there's definitely precedent there.

That said, most of your Servants don't seem all that strong from the descriptions alone. I'll hold judgement until the actual fic, but just remember that there's a reason these people are legendary; all of them are capable of defeating armies or killing other legendaries, and their power has amplified even further by the Grail's nature.

I will do my best to make them live up to their power levels. But the main reason they seem 'weak' I is as of yet don't have phantasms for most of them. Achilles is immune to everything save for a shot to the heel, he is going to be a beast...

Hm... well if you go by the original legend the ring had no limit on uses but was much weaker then the lamp which could only be used three times and could need some sort of sacrifice.

 

[ttestagr]

Achilles would be able to match Herakles' base stats at the very least. Mad Enhance would likely give him more power than Herakles gets out of his. Achilles' legend has him getting more powerful the angrier he gets, with no upward limit. Herakles doesn't have that kind of berserker rage.

 

[Ryogas_BF]

Mm, I was reading over his story an noticed that trait and thought he'd be perect for the fic. Always good to have a strong servent that the field needs to be weary of. He will be doing his damndest not to reveal his idenity though considering his rather substantial weakness.


But what I could really use are some NP for the field...
Robin Hood - I'm thinking maybe a personal volley... fires one arow up and it multiplies into a rain of arrows perhaps...

Aladdin - he's pretty much set at this point just tweaking his existing choices really.

Nagi - is unique, working things out with him.

Anansi - I thought turning into a monsterous giant spider was good enough.

Achilles - between his rage and his invulnerablity he's pretty set

Vlad - I want to give him a few NP. Make him a tough bastard to take down. Not that a super charaged vampire wouldn't be tought to take down anyway but you know what I mean.

 

[Ryogas_BF]

Couple of NP ideas from reading over the history's...

Archer - Robyn Hood

Lionheart
Origin - A sword given to Robyn during her service of King Richard.
Power up

Effect
Archer's back up weapon. This weapon well not preferable archer is not unskilled in it's use. When properly focused with a small amount of mana she gets a minor stat power up. while not putting her on level with a dedicated close combat servant it can allow her to hold her own until finding someway to get distance for archery once more.

Golden Arrow
Origin - The arrows used in the archery tournament Robin won, despite it been a trap set up to catch her.
Anti-Unit

Effect
Archer focuses on a target and hold it in her minds eye. Drawing an arrow from the endless quiver she supercharges it with Mana, the shaft turning gold and the head pristine silver. On loosing the arrow it is tracked to the target she focused on, homing in no matter how much it had moved since she began concentrating. It can only be stopped by a magical barrier of high rank and if the servant has a high luck stat the arrow may miss it's target (IE taking a hit to the shoulder instead of the heart).

Horn of Sherwood
Origin - In several myths Robyn finds herself in precarious situations, a blow of this horn calls her companions to her location.
Barrier, anti-army

Effect
With a large charge of Mana Archer give the horn a blow, the sound echoes out in all directions and forms a barrier. All those caught inside find themselves in an expensive forest. In this Zone Archer can move through the tree and appear in multiple places at once, she can attack from several different places at the same time. This replicates the assistance of her 'Yeoman'. The only way to escape the barrier is defeat Archer (a feat with her tree transport powers is no easy task), Archer dismissing it herself, or survive until the charge of the barrier runs out. A fully charged use of the horn can last several hours... A power mage or servant could pierce the barrier and enter from outside but can not then exit and will be trapped.


Rogue Lancer - Vlad the Impaler

Saint Bartholomew's Day Massacre (maybe a new name)
Origin - One of Vlad's more, vindictive action. On Saint Bartholomew's Day he devastated the town of Braov, Impaling every citizen down to the last child. nearly 10,000 in all.
Anti-Army

Effect
Focusing his power he can cause metal pikes to come up from the ground below. They emerge rapidly and with little warning. up to three at any one time he can do without even attracting attention to himself. Though to use this NP fully Hundreds of pikes emerge at a time, he can quickly turn the entire ground into a tangled mess of spires killing many at a time. he can also use this for strategy creating choke points or walls to box his opponents in.

... still need to think of a few more for Vlad.

 

[Ryogas_BF]

More NPs

Rider - Aladdin

Flying Carpet
Origin - one of the araban artifacts aladdin would use to get a round.
Mount

He can summon his flying carpet and use it as either a quick get away, joy riding, or a moble fighting platform. It reacts to his instinct and he can move it it abrutly to avoid sudden attacks. He can also remain standing on it nearly all times even when most wound need to cling with dear life. it is semi intellegnt and can react on it's own to save it's master from sudden falls or sometimes ambushes he itself is not aware of.

The Ring of the Genie
Origin - a ring given to him by a sorcer containing a lesser Genie.
Anti-unit, Support

By charging his mana and rubbing the ring her can summon a lesser genie to his aid. Physically stronger, good toughness, as well as relatively good magic resistance the genie can assist aladdin in fights or with tasks even his servent strength boost can't handle. Tag teaming they can take down a servent with superior stats and when out it can teleport itself, aladdin and his master small distances. Though unlike the lamp the genie can not preform 'mircle' ranked attacks given it's lesser status and after it's use it needs some time to recharge but aladdin is skilled enough to keep ahead of a foe until the ring is recharged.

The Genie's lamp
Origin - the simple lamp found deep witin the caves of wonders, container of a power genie.
Anti-army, Mysical being

With a tolken of his own blood and a substantial amount of mana aladin can summon the Lamp to existance. Such a trying ability that he tries not to summon it unless he has little option. When rubbed a true genie is summoned and can be given three mircle ranked tasks to achieve. they can be used at anytime the lamp is in aladdin's possession (unlike the legend only aladdin can utilize the genie). It's personal stats are of a high rank and it has much mana at it's disposal. If aladdin uses a uses up a task as an offensive assualt the genie will enter combat with the chosen foe and will do it's uptmost to destory it's given target. Though it is ulikely he can be defeated, though if so inclined could be resummoned within an hour fully recovered. These tasks don't always have to be offensive they can cover a wide viarity of situations and for a man with as sharp mind such as Aladdin can be quite useful. Once summoned and used up the lamp vanishes and cannot be summoned again.

Lancer - Anansi

Son of the sky
Orgin - Anasi's father is lord of the sky and the fighting staff he uses was a personal gift.
anti-unit

Anasi focuses his power and charges his staff with electrisity. with a striek to the ground the charge races forward to his enemy and on contact draws a sky splitting bolt of lighting to the target. it has a moderate mana charge and though not as powers of as stikes it can be used much more often and, if inclined, in rapid succession.

Arachnid Ancestry
Origin - Anansi is both a man and a spider, taking which ever form suits him the best.
Transformation

Anansi wrapps himself in a cuccoon of steady silk and soon emerges as a spider. his size cqan range anywhere between a few inches and fifteen feet. He can still speak but is faster, tougher, and stronger then his human form. He dogedily pursues his prey and can strike out with scythe-like forlegs and mandibles. Even in human form her can cast out webs to entrap his foes and walk on both the walls and ceilings of any surface save for during the rain.

 

[Ryogas_BF]

Caster - Nagi

Thousand Master
Origin - Nagi was a master himself befor becoming s servent, he had many partners and in turn created many artifacts.
Varies

This NP takes the form of a deck of cards he keeps on his person. He can focus on a card and make it appear in hand. Charging it with mana and speaking the word 'adeat' he can summon the artifact an use it just as his minstra did. Due to the numerable cards this is one of the most versitile NPs, allowing for a varity of roles and adaptablity in combat. It is his 'only' NPO but it can technically count as several.

Rogue Lancer - Vlad

Protean
origin - fading the lines between dark arts and some vampires can harness the aspects of beasts and transform themselves.
Transformation

Calling upon his vampiric skills he can alter his body into a few forms. First being the classic swarm of bats which is mainly used for escape, travel and confusion. In this 'form' as long as one bat escaped her can regenerate from there. Thus can avoid some percise attacks much easier. This ability can allow him access to small entryways as well asthe ability to fly whilst attacting less attention when not in spirit form. Second is that of a giant wolf, this is a combat form that makes him the size of a horse, increasing his physical stats. He is much faster on foot allowing him to run down his victems and as this form he can call form shadow wolves to assist in his fight, they are quick and can make a good distraction or quick attacks.

 

[Arcomage]

Well, if a Servant needs to have some stories with a good connotation attached to them, Vlad would definitely qualify in that regard - Although he was indeed a bloody leader, he's also still a national hero in the areas he ruled, having held off the Turkish army for almost two generations. As for a possible NP, maybe look towards the other meanings of his nickname? Dracula did not always have vampiric connotations, after all - It can be roughly translated as 'son of a dragon', or 'son of the Devil' if you take some liberty.

Also, for some weird reason the idea of Nagi pulling an 'Unlimited Pactio Works' cracks me up. I'll definitely be following this one.

 

[Himitsu the Hunter]

One thing though, about Anansi... As he is one of my 3 favorite mythological figures id like to point out 2 things about him which could make for good fodder in terms of making interesting abilities for him.

1. As you pointed out before he is the lord of Stories... which is to say one of the major ways in which he fights any opponent is to make use of lies, illusions and transformations within his legends... 90% of the time making his foes do ALL of his work for him. As such i think minor shapeshifting and illusion abilities at least would be nice to go with his silver tongue.

2. Anansi is also the one who gave Fire to man kind in his stories (he's the African Promethius so to speak) And as such it may be more interesting for him to be using the stolen 'secrets of fire' for himself (as i cant imagine him having given anything more than the most basic parts of it away lol. He really is a bit of a selfish bastard despite his benevolence) you can come up with a creative fire based in magic which he uses as his personal trump card.


But anywho thats all i have to say on that... I would really love to see this one come off, I like your stories alot... and anything with Anansi gets my attention quick lol.

-Himitsu The Hunter