Konoka Konoe was not a happy camper.
Here she was, on the first day of the festival. So far all she had done is watch as her friend, Asuna Kagurazaka, harisened the crap out of confessors left and right.
æSheÆs actually quite diligent in her patrolling,Æ Konoka was thinking to herself.
ôThatÆll teach you to have a happy ending. All your love lives are belong to me!ö
æOr maybe she just went off the deep end.Æ
The patrol ended, and so our raven-haired protagonist set off to do whatever it was that she felt like needed doing.
æHmm, the music just got quieter, and the sky got darker. The author must be planning something stupid.Æ
And so he was. A giant cloud of smoke had just appeared, and a strange square shaped outline could be seen through the smokescreen.
Cautiously, Konoka approached the strange figure. And walked right into a hamster cage.
ôOww!ö A little orange hamster said.
ôHamster? Kawaii!ö
ôI am Hamtaro! But what am I doing here?ö
ôOh, thatÆs easy!ö Konoka said, giggling a little as she did so. ôThe author is making fun of some of the crossover stereotypes and cliches in an unconventional way.ö
ôHekeh? Why would he want to do that?ö
ôCouldnÆt land a date this weekend.ö
ôAhö Hamtaro says, all-knowingly. ôSo what are we supposed to do now?ö
ôOne sec!ö Konoka replies, thumbing through her æanime crossover clichesÆ manual. ôIt says that in most crossovers authors just bring in some anime character foreign to this anime, and then they train each other in the others style back at their home to become uber-powerful and unbeatable.ö
ôSo I must take you on a ham-ham adventure!ö And so they did.
-o-
Some time later, after Hamtaro was returned safely homeà
ôWow! I canÆt believe how intense that training was!ö
ôAnd what training would that be?ö Asked Negi Springfield, having just showed up.
ôOh, the author had a stupid crossover parody idea, and had to write about it.ö
ôOh, another of those parodies, neh?ö Negi said, smiling fondly. ôSpeaking of which, I have to find Chizuru whom I conveniently love with an undying passion after seeing her once and before I got to know her at all. I may only be ten, but we already have thirteen babies!ö
And with this said he sauntered off.
Great, now she was going to get depressed. How come Negi conveniently got to find the love of his life who he barely knew and she didnÆt have anyone?
As if in answer to her prayers, Setsuna walked on to the scene. As she approached Konoka, an angelic chorus began to play a symphony. Of loveeeee, baby.
ôKonoka-Ojousama. I know that we are merely childhood friends and really donÆt do anything to break this mold, but I found out just earlier today that I was in lo-love with you, even though I never gave any indication or said anything outright it was only because I was too shy.ö
ôOh Set-chan! Seeing you conveniently come on to the scene as I was wallowing in self-pity has made me realize we are fated to be together!ö
ôAlas, Kono-chan, we can not be together. Shinmei-ryu school rules says that unless one has undergone rigorous training and learned at least one specialized skill, we cannot marry.ö
ôWow, that is convenient Set-chan! I just got back from rigorous training!ö
ôThat is great, Kono-chan! May I ask what special skill you learned?ö Setsuna leaned forward in interest, just waiting for the awesome skill she knew would come out of KonokaÆs mouth.
ôYou wouldnÆt believe how fast I can krum-krum me some nuts! And look how much I can store in my cheeks!ö
And so they enjoyed the fruits (err, nuts) of KonokaÆs harsh and rigorous training and lived happily ever after.
-o-
(Bet you thought the story was over, didnÆt you? I still forgot to add the worst part. The dreaded self-insert.)
I, the almighty Raedric, had entered the Negima world. I was wielding my trusty +6 wifebeater mace and looking for trouble.
ôHello conveniently placed young person.ö I said to Negi. ôI just got to your world, but somehow I know every magic spell in existence and my magic reserves are 200x that of your own! FEAR MY POWER!ö
And I blew up the world, and went to the hamtaro world and exposed myself to the hamsters. For no good reason. Just because itÆs a self-insert.
-o-
This was second in a series of three parodies I wrote, and my personal favorite, although I don't know why.
Here she was, on the first day of the festival. So far all she had done is watch as her friend, Asuna Kagurazaka, harisened the crap out of confessors left and right.
æSheÆs actually quite diligent in her patrolling,Æ Konoka was thinking to herself.
ôThatÆll teach you to have a happy ending. All your love lives are belong to me!ö
æOr maybe she just went off the deep end.Æ
The patrol ended, and so our raven-haired protagonist set off to do whatever it was that she felt like needed doing.
æHmm, the music just got quieter, and the sky got darker. The author must be planning something stupid.Æ
And so he was. A giant cloud of smoke had just appeared, and a strange square shaped outline could be seen through the smokescreen.
Cautiously, Konoka approached the strange figure. And walked right into a hamster cage.
ôOww!ö A little orange hamster said.
ôHamster? Kawaii!ö
ôI am Hamtaro! But what am I doing here?ö
ôOh, thatÆs easy!ö Konoka said, giggling a little as she did so. ôThe author is making fun of some of the crossover stereotypes and cliches in an unconventional way.ö
ôHekeh? Why would he want to do that?ö
ôCouldnÆt land a date this weekend.ö
ôAhö Hamtaro says, all-knowingly. ôSo what are we supposed to do now?ö
ôOne sec!ö Konoka replies, thumbing through her æanime crossover clichesÆ manual. ôIt says that in most crossovers authors just bring in some anime character foreign to this anime, and then they train each other in the others style back at their home to become uber-powerful and unbeatable.ö
ôSo I must take you on a ham-ham adventure!ö And so they did.
-o-
Some time later, after Hamtaro was returned safely homeà
ôWow! I canÆt believe how intense that training was!ö
ôAnd what training would that be?ö Asked Negi Springfield, having just showed up.
ôOh, the author had a stupid crossover parody idea, and had to write about it.ö
ôOh, another of those parodies, neh?ö Negi said, smiling fondly. ôSpeaking of which, I have to find Chizuru whom I conveniently love with an undying passion after seeing her once and before I got to know her at all. I may only be ten, but we already have thirteen babies!ö
And with this said he sauntered off.
Great, now she was going to get depressed. How come Negi conveniently got to find the love of his life who he barely knew and she didnÆt have anyone?
As if in answer to her prayers, Setsuna walked on to the scene. As she approached Konoka, an angelic chorus began to play a symphony. Of loveeeee, baby.
ôKonoka-Ojousama. I know that we are merely childhood friends and really donÆt do anything to break this mold, but I found out just earlier today that I was in lo-love with you, even though I never gave any indication or said anything outright it was only because I was too shy.ö
ôOh Set-chan! Seeing you conveniently come on to the scene as I was wallowing in self-pity has made me realize we are fated to be together!ö
ôAlas, Kono-chan, we can not be together. Shinmei-ryu school rules says that unless one has undergone rigorous training and learned at least one specialized skill, we cannot marry.ö
ôWow, that is convenient Set-chan! I just got back from rigorous training!ö
ôThat is great, Kono-chan! May I ask what special skill you learned?ö Setsuna leaned forward in interest, just waiting for the awesome skill she knew would come out of KonokaÆs mouth.
ôYou wouldnÆt believe how fast I can krum-krum me some nuts! And look how much I can store in my cheeks!ö
And so they enjoyed the fruits (err, nuts) of KonokaÆs harsh and rigorous training and lived happily ever after.
-o-
(Bet you thought the story was over, didnÆt you? I still forgot to add the worst part. The dreaded self-insert.)
I, the almighty Raedric, had entered the Negima world. I was wielding my trusty +6 wifebeater mace and looking for trouble.
ôHello conveniently placed young person.ö I said to Negi. ôI just got to your world, but somehow I know every magic spell in existence and my magic reserves are 200x that of your own! FEAR MY POWER!ö
And I blew up the world, and went to the hamtaro world and exposed myself to the hamsters. For no good reason. Just because itÆs a self-insert.
-o-
This was second in a series of three parodies I wrote, and my personal favorite, although I don't know why.