Nasuverse Fate/time loop

MastaofBitches

Well-Known Member
MutantRancor said:
Sorry if mine's not great; I just started the game and haven't even finished the Fate route yet, so all my information is coming from the anime (which I haven't seen for at least a year), TV Tropes, and a few fan fictions.? (Thus why I pulled Shirou from The Hill Of Swords rather than canon Shirou from any route.)
It's not just yours, Jomasten's aren't that great either since he's just ripping off a fan comic.
 

Cherry_lover

Well-Known Member
MastaofBitches said:
MutantRancor said:
Sorry if mine's not great; I just started the game and haven't even finished the Fate route yet, so all my information is coming from the anime (which I haven't seen for at least a year), TV Tropes, and a few fan fictions.á (Thus why I pulled Shirou from The Hill Of Swords rather than canon Shirou from any route.)
It's not just yours, Jomasten's aren't that great either since he's just ripping off a fan comic.
I disagree entirely with this statement. The idea may well be taken from a doujin, but that doesn't mean that it's not well done.
 

MastaofBitches

Well-Known Member
Cherry_lover said:
MastaofBitches said:
MutantRancor said:
Sorry if mine's not great; I just started the game and haven't even finished the Fate route yet, so all my information is coming from the anime (which I haven't seen for at least a year), TV Tropes, and a few fan fictions.á (Thus why I pulled Shirou from The Hill Of Swords rather than canon Shirou from any route.)
It's not just yours, Jomasten's aren't that great either since he's just ripping off a fan comic.
I disagree entirely with this statement. The idea may well be taken from a doujin, but that doesn't mean that it's not well done.
I'm not saying it's not well written, I'm just saying it's not interesting, it doesn't even feel like a Fate/Stay fic.
 

Jomasten

Well-Known Member
:huh.: Okay. I can dig that. And a couple of things

One. I'll admit I take inspirations from doujins and the like. Every now and then.

Two. I'll admit that I'm a firm believer of "happily ever after" so don't be surprised if that affects my writing.

(In hindsight, I think that is why I stopped writing as a hobby altogether. I'm just not sure if I can get out of that habit/belief. So I pretty much I just do this things for fun, now.)


Would I even be able to come up with a snip that, as MoB puts it, 'feels like a Fate/Stay fic'? I'll try.
 

MastaofBitches

Well-Known Member
Jomasten said:
:huh.: Okay. I can dig that. And a couple of things

One. I'll admit I take inspirations from doujins and the like. Every now and then.

Two. I'll admit that I'm a firm believer of "happily ever after" so don't be surprised if that affects my writing.

(In hindsight, I think that is why I stopped writing as a hobby altogether. I'm just not sure if I can get out of that habit/belief. So I pretty much I just do this things for fun, now.)


Would I even be able to come up with a snip that, as MoB puts it, 'feels like a Fate/Stay fic'? I'll try.
I'm not saying you writing is bad just that it's boring, there's nothing about it to pull in any intrest, outside of people's desiere to read anything with their favourite characters in it.

Liam-don said:
Emiya took a deep breath as he contemplated his work. He'd used the previous months to prepare himself as best as he could. Forcing this body to assimilate his fighting skills, training the circuits to handle his magic, discretely gathering informations on his opposition, all that and more. Tomorrow, Bazett Fraga McRemitz would come to Fuyuki together with her Lancer and open the first act of this War. Before that happened, he needed to be ready and that meant performing the last and most critical part of his planning: summoning his Servant.

So here he stood, in the shed in the backyard of the Emiya household, where Kiritsugu had first summoned his Servant and where a fool had stumbled upon a miracle which had saved his life. A life he had wasted in the most ridiculous way.

But not this time.

This time there would be no need for a miracle. He'd carefully traced the summoning circle, chosen the time and prepared the incantation. Here too, he was as ready as he'd ever be.

Just one last step.

ôTrace, on.ö He chanted, but rather than turn toward the hill of his soul, he focused on this body and the treasure hidden within.

He'd pondered the question for a time but in truth there had been no other choice. Saber was by far the best Servant he could hope to summon and so he needed the appropriate catalyst.

Emiya Shirou himself had been it in the original timeline, his foolish mentality overlapping enough with the King of Knights' ethics that she'd answered his call.

But he was different. A twisted existence such as him would without a doubt repel her from beyond the ages.

So, instead he'd fallen back on her sheath. Not the real one though, its abilities were too good to discard unnecessarily, and there was no need for it. He was absolutely confident that, just in this case, he could create a perfect copy. The only perfect copy he'd ever achieve, his greatest projection.

Even as it was, a loose mass of magical energy spread across this body, he could still see it perfectly whole, not even the littlest detail missing. And as he carefully Traced the image in his mind, he gathered the material from this body of fire and steel and then brought them together into reality. There was an intense flash of light and then...

Perfect.

Satisfied, Emiya put the sheath in the center of the circle and began chanting again in earnest. There was no time to waste. Certainly the copy was perfect now, but soon the World would recognize it for the fake it was and corrode it. Before that happened, he needed to perform the summoning.

It was easy. Unlike Rin, he was at his best at the critical times, when his tension was so high it cleared his mind. He endured peacefully the fire that burned him, shrugged off the way his senses went haywire. All that was nothing in comparison to what he had endured.

And finally the shed was bathed in light once again, the command seal engraving themselves on his hand, and she appeared.

Perfect, he thought.

Then something he couldn't see pierced his chest.

For an instant the surprise eclipsed the pain. He blinked and suddenly his sight was filled with her face.

ôSab-er?ö He couldn't understand. This was Saber. Even now as his vision grayed he could have recognized her among thousands. Then...

ôWhy?ö

His heart tightened as he read the pure disinterest on her face. She wrenched her sword away from his body mercilessly, cutting him nearly in two.

And then he noticed the anomalies.

ôShirou...ö

It wasn't his sight that was fading, Saber was really deathly pale. And her armor...

"... You should have killed me when you had the chance.ö

It was black.

As she advanced on him, he couldn't help but laugh as hard as his destroyed chest could manage.

ôA distorted Servant for a distorted Master.ö He whispered. "How fitting."
That, is how you write a fate/Stay loop.

Liam-don wrote the best, kinda depressed he didn't write more, especially since it was looking like Shirou was going to be killing Bazett for some reason.
 

Cherry_lover

Well-Known Member
Yeah, you know that not everyone only likes fics that are horribly depressing, right?

I disagree entirely with your interpretation, and I'd much rather read his loop than yet another bloody FSN fanfic that totally ignores one of the main characters (Sakura). So, Jomasten, ignore him and keep writing your scenes. They're a lot better than the depressing crap that he would be writing, at least IMO.
 

MastaofBitches

Well-Known Member
Cherry_lover said:
Yeah, you know that not everyone only likes fics that are horribly depressing, right?

I disagree entirely with your interpretation, and I'd much rather read his loop than yet another bloody FSN fanfic that totally ignores one of the main characters (Sakura). So, Jomasten, ignore him and keep writing your scenes. They're a lot better than the depressing crap that he would be writing, at least IMO.
So you're the kind of person who doesn't care what he's reading so long as their favourite character is important? The kind of person, who says "You know what? This is nothing like *insert serires here* but since it has *insert character here* I'm going to read and say it's the best thing since sliced bread!"

Fate/Stay Night isn't just about Sakura, it's about Rin and Saber and most importantly the main character Emya Shirou, who seems to have been tossed a side for a character who get's by on sympathy.
 

ssokolow

Well-Known Member
MastaofBitches said:
Cherry_lover said:
Yeah, you know that not everyone only likes fics that are horribly depressing, right?

I disagree entirely with your interpretation, and I'd much rather read his loop than yet another bloody FSN fanfic that totally ignores one of the main characters (Sakura). So, Jomasten, ignore him and keep writing your scenes. They're a lot better than the depressing crap that he would be writing, at least IMO.
So you're the kind of person who doesn't care what he's reading so long as their favourite character is important? The kind of person, who says "You know what? This is nothing like *insert serires here* but since it has *insert character here* I'm going to read and say it's the best thing since sliced bread!"

Fate/Stay Night isn't just about Sakura, it's about Rin and Saber and most importantly the main character Emya Shirou, who seems to have been tossed a side for a character who get's by on sympathy.
Can't we all just agree that fanfiction is about exploring alternatives to what's currently available and agree to disagree? You don't have to read their contributions if you don't like them.
 

MastaofBitches

Well-Known Member
ssokolow said:
MastaofBitches said:
Cherry_lover said:
Yeah, you know that not everyone only likes fics that are horribly depressing, right?

I disagree entirely with your interpretation, and I'd much rather read his loop than yet another bloody FSN fanfic that totally ignores one of the main characters (Sakura). So, Jomasten, ignore him and keep writing your scenes. They're a lot better than the depressing crap that he would be writing, at least IMO.
So you're the kind of person who doesn't care what he's reading so long as their favourite character is important? The kind of person, who says "You know what? This is nothing like *insert serires here* but since it has *insert character here* I'm going to read and say it's the best thing since sliced bread!"

Fate/Stay Night isn't just about Sakura, it's about Rin and Saber and most importantly the main character Emya Shirou, who seems to have been tossed a side for a character who get's by on sympathy.
Can't we all just agree that fanfiction is about exploring alternatives to what's currently available and agree to disagree? You don't have to read their contributions if you don't like them.
Except there currently the only contributions, aside from my own.
 

Cherry_lover

Well-Known Member
MastaofBitches said:
ssokolow said:
MastaofBitches said:
Cherry_lover said:
Yeah, you know that not everyone only likes fics that are horribly depressing, right?

I disagree entirely with your interpretation, and I'd much rather read his loop than yet another bloody FSN fanfic that totally ignores one of the main characters (Sakura). So, Jomasten, ignore him and keep writing your scenes. They're a lot better than the depressing crap that he would be writing, at least IMO.
So you're the kind of person who doesn't care what he's reading so long as their favourite character is important? The kind of person, who says "You know what? This is nothing like *insert serires here* but since it has *insert character here* I'm going to read and say it's the best thing since sliced bread!"

Fate/Stay Night isn't just about Sakura, it's about Rin and Saber and most importantly the main character Emya Shirou, who seems to have been tossed a side for a character who get's by on sympathy.
Can't we all just agree that fanfiction is about exploring alternatives to what's currently available and agree to disagree? You don't have to read their contributions if you don't like them.
Except there currently the only contributions, aside from my own.
Well, personally I think that that makes a refreshing change from me being the one complaining about the total lack of fics that I have any interest in, so....

It's not that I only care about fics about Sakura, I'm just sick of all the fics which leave her to be tortured to death by Zouken whilst Shirou and Rin run around the world having adventures, or whatever (which, incidentally, I think is probably somewhat OOC for Rin and Shirou, because I can't imagine Shirou not asking Rin about her family at some point, and I can't imagine him not pressurising her to reconcile with Sakura once he finds out the truth). And, no, I don't automatically like every fic which involves Sakura. If the characterisation is bad, then I'll quite happily say that it is, and I won't read the fic if it's bad enough. However, there is absolutely nothing wrong with the particular fic we're discussing at the moment, and in that case the fact that Sakura is actually involved (and gets to be badass, for once) is a huge plus for me.
 

Jomasten

Well-Known Member
Hrrm. Will now make it personal side-quest to make snip that MoB might approve. Unsure of outcome, but will be interesting to find out.

Though, original impression of FSN, along with inexplicably speaking like Mordin Solus, is mostly dark and depressing. Probably another reason why I've taking a liking to more light-hearted fics. Might also explain hatred for Shinji.

Coming up with first attempt.

EDIT: Fmph, might not be as approve-able, since suddenly focused on Sakura as main focus.

EDITEDIT: Have this sudden feeling I accidentally copied this off of someone's work. Probably Liam-Don's, that's for sure. Not sure how, if I did.

***

I already knew what was going to happen next. I should know. I've practiced going through this same scenario over and over again with each time I've repeated this damn year. From the moment I first Woke up, just after Summoning Saber, then driving back Lancer's second attempt at my life, I had taken methodical steps and responses to get where I am right this moment.

Someway or another, today is where I'll be able to save Sakura, and would hopefully be the start of later more successful attempts.

There was Shiniji, and it had been so tempting to hack him to pieces for all the atrocities he had committed

There was Rider, and the ease I felt knocking her out long enough to finally free Sakura.

My team, consisting of Saber, Rin, and Archer was finally coming up the final flight of stairs, leading down to the chamber where all those Mana worms were grown. Where more than likely Zouken was, torturing poor Sakura.

As the lights from up above dimmed, and our footsteps began echoing on the stone steps, Archer leading the group as the vanguard, while Saber followed closed behind him, I began to take note of the ambient magical energy.

Something was wrong. Why did the air feels so charged up? Like a sort of anticipatory excitement was permeating from the very room we were descending to,

Rin, following behind me, finally stepped off the stairs.

My senses didn't detect the hostility, until Archer, already tensed for any sign of enemies, was brutally impaled to the stone ceiling. He only had a chance to bring out a gasp of pain, until he was skewered in several places .

It wasn't until Rin was slammed back to the feet of the stairway that Saber and I finally managed to locate the source of the attack, jumping away from each other, from pure instinct, in an effort to disorient the enemy.

An enemy that was not Makiri Zouken.

No, his broken body was off tho the side, mangled beyond all recognition from the neck-down. His facial features still showed his horrified surprise.

I never knew anymore until a large swath of darkness suddenly engulfed me. And I knew no more.

<hr>

When came to, it was to the sound of Saber choking, and manic giggling echoing on the stone room.

There was a crack, and Saber stopped gagging.

"Heeheehee, I've been waiting for you Sempai." I shivered involuntarily as a familiar, but not so familiar voice, voice.

I opened my eyes, and the first thing I noticed was Saber's horrified expression. Then I looked up from her body, and fell on the sight I had been fearing all this time.

Sakura, as she was fully consumed by Angra Mainyu.

As if called by my thoughts, she floated towards me, a smile that, in other circumstances, would have been her usual sweet and kind smile, was now tinged and corrupted by the dark energies coursing through her.

"S-Sakura, what..." I tried to groan out, but was silenced as Sakura placed a finger on my lips. I convulsed in disgust as the black oozing energies tried to invade my body through my mouth. It was probably Sakura's own remaining will that held it back.

"You finally came, Sempai." Sakura said happily. I tried to say something, but was unable to.

Sakura continued, "I was so alone all the time, Sempai. Waiting for you to come to me.

But, everytime, I waited, and waited, and waited.

And all this time, I was hurt, and I was hurt, and I was hurt."

Sakura giggled, and my mind tried to comprehend the words she was rambling.

...It couldn't be...

"All that time, I saw the light, I thought, I could finally be free. But I found myself back here, waiting and hurting." Her hand was caressing my face now.

"But, Sempai is here now. And I finally have Sempai all to myself..." Sakura giggled as the dark energies finally began to spread. I struggled to free myself.

"And even when the light comes again, Sempai will still be together with me..." Sakura gave one, last gleeful smile.

"Forever and ever."

I couldn't hold it back anymore. I gave a muffled scream.

Everything was dark.

Then I Awoke again. This time with a scream

And in my mind, I knew; I had failed.

*****

This is a snip that reflects on what I really think about FSN. Well, the Bad Ends.
 

MastaofBitches

Well-Known Member
And that, that is how you write Fate/Stay Night fanfiction focusing on the ShirouxSakura pairing.

Happily ever after is not, what Fate is about.
 

Jomasten

Well-Known Member
Happily ever after is not what the general Nasu-verse is about, is my general impression from what I know at the top of my head.

But that hasn't stopped idiots like me from making it a slightly happier place.

Oh, and don't expect something similar anytime soon, MoB. Will now return to my unseemly boring plotting style. Might make another one like it, but only if the fancy strikes me.

EDITED OUT: Accidentally pressed 'Submit'
 

MastaofBitches

Well-Known Member
Jomasten said:
Happily ever after is not what the general Nasu-verse is about, is my general impression from what I know at the top of my head.

But that hasn't stopped idiots like me from making it a slightly happier place.

Oh, and don't expect something similar anytime soon, MoB. Will now return to my unseemly boring plotting style. Might make another one like it, but only if the fancy strikes me.

EDITED OUT: Accidentally pressed 'Submit'
Oh joy...

Such dreadful dullness shall surely kill me this time <_<
 

Jomasten

Well-Known Member
That's just how I am, Masta. I'm sorry if I am a disappointing person.

I can acknowledge my weak-points and criticisms, but am either too lazy to do anything about it, too dissuaded to change it, or I don't give a damn.

If it makes you feel a smidge better, you're still a cool person in my book. :lol:
 

MastaofBitches

Well-Known Member
Jomasten said:
That's just how I am, Masta. I'm sorry if I am a disappointing person.

I can acknowledge my weak-points and criticisms, but am either too lazy to do anything about it, too dissuaded to change it, or I don't give a damn.

If it makes you feel a smidge better, you're still a cool person in my book. :lol:
Well, that does make me feel slightly better.

Besides, all you really need to do is make it sound more depressing then it actually is, which given the mundaneness of it, shouldn't be that hard.
 

Deathwings

Well-Known Member
As said before, not everyone is a fan of grimdark and in a setting like Fate/Stay Night, Lighter And Softer snippet/oneshot are nice.

Lots of peoples, me include, wish there was a "Perfect Route" in that game. ^_^
 

Cherry_lover

Well-Known Member
MastaofBitches said:
And that, that is how you write Fate/Stay Night fanfiction focusing on the ShirouxSakura pairing.

Happily ever after is not, what Fate is about.
No, no it fucking well is not.

If someone wrote the same about Rin x Shirou or Saber x Shirou (whichever pairing you prefer), you wouldn't like it, so don't keep complaining about Sakura getting one happy ending.

You're a total fucking asshole and (probably) a troll, so would you just shut the fuck up and leave the rest of us to read the stories in peace?
 

Deathwings

Well-Known Member
Well, this is MoB after all. The guy who tend to select one female in of every fandom he is interested in and then proceed to torture her at every opportunity he got.

He seems to love torturing the Woobie or the fandom's favorite most of all. :p
 

Cherry_lover

Well-Known Member
Deathwings said:
Well, this is MoB after all. The guy who tend to select one female in of every fandom he is interested in and then proceed to torture her at every opportunity he got.

He seems to love torturing the Woobie or the fandom's favorite most of all. :p
Well, from what I can tell of my interactions with him, he's just a moronic troll with a fetish for ridiculously depressing stories and an irrational hatred of Sakura and her fans....
 

MastaofBitches

Well-Known Member
Cherry_lover said:
MastaofBitches said:
And that, that is how you write Fate/Stay Night fanfiction focusing on the ShirouxSakura pairing.

Happily ever after is not, what Fate is about.
No, no it fucking well is not.

If someone wrote the same about Rin x Shirou or Saber x Shirou (whichever pairing you prefer), you wouldn't like it, so don't keep complaining about Sakura getting one happy ending.

You're a total fucking asshole and (probably) a troll, so would you just shut the fuck up and leave the rest of us to read the stories in peace?
Ouch, you have some serious issues if you're getting this worked up over a fictional character.

And you'd be right, I played the games for the setting and the story, and the story is not light ad fluffy slice of life, with a little bit of Shinji bashing and Zouken Warf effect.

Deathwings said:
Well, this is MoB after all. The guy who tend to select one female in of every fandom he is interested in and then proceed to torture her at every opportunity he got.

He seems to love torturing the Woobie or the fandom's favorite most of all. :p
What bullshit are you spouting? I don't go around selecting females to hate, that would be incredibly stupid, apart from which I don't hate Sakura, I just find her incredibly boring, or some kind of horrible sue.

Cherry_lover said:
Deathwings said:
Well, this is MoB after all. The guy who tend to select one female in of every fandom he is interested in and then proceed to torture her at every opportunity he got.

He seems to love torturing the Woobie or the fandom's favorite most of all. :p
Well, from what I can tell of my interactions with him, he's just a moronic troll with a fetish for ridiculously depressing stories and an irrational hatred of Sakura and her fans....
Ok seriously? That's rather pathetic. Are you seriously getting that worked up over the fact that I'm complaining about the setting of these things?

Seriously, cheery and happy perfect family life isn;t what Fate/Stay Night is about, if that's what you're looking for I'd suggest finding a Shoujo manga to fixate on.
 

Cherry_lover

Well-Known Member
MastaofBitches said:
And you'd be right, I played the games for the setting and the story, and the story is not light ad fluffy slice of life, with a little bit of Shinji bashing and Zouken Warf effect.
What happens in this fic is perfectly viable. Without the worms, Zouken can't do anything to Sakura and, whilst he could easily enough kill her as a young child, he wasn't expecting her to react that way, and thus she was able to get in a pre-emptive strike and then leg it before he could do anything in return. Then, once she was gone, he wouldn't dare attack her, because Archer would kick his ass ig he did.

Seriously, cheery and happy perfect family life isn;t what Fate/Stay Night is about, if that's what you're looking for I'd suggest finding a Shoujo manga to fixate on.
Perhaps not, but fanfics don't have to have the same tone as the original story for them to be interesting.

My interest in FSN comes primarily from the characters, not the setting, and thus I like seeing lighter FSN fanfics where those characters get the life that they deserve, not something horribly dark where they all get fucked over. If that's not what you want to see, then fine, but don't assume that your reason for being interested in the story is the only valid one, and that fanfics that fit your idea of "good" fanfics are the only acceptable ones.
 

MastaofBitches

Well-Known Member
Cherry_lover said:
MastaofBitches said:
And you'd be right, I played the games for the setting and the story, and the story is not light ad fluffy slice of life, with a little bit of Shinji bashing and Zouken Warf effect.
What happens in this fic is perfectly viable. Without the worms, Zouken can't do anything to Sakura and, whilst he could easily enough kill her as a young child, he wasn't expecting her to react that way, and thus she was able to get in a pre-emptive strike and then leg it before he could do anything in return. Then, once she was gone, he wouldn't dare attack her, because Archer would kick his ass ig he did.

Seriously, cheery and happy perfect family life isn;t what Fate/Stay Night is about, if that's what you're looking for I'd suggest finding a Shoujo manga to fixate on.
Perhaps not, but fanfics don't have to have the same tone as the original story for them to be interesting.

My interest in FSN comes primarily from the characters, not the setting, and thus I like seeing lighter FSN fanfics where those characters get the life that they deserve, not something horribly dark where they all get fucked over. If that's not what you want to see, then fine, but don't assume that your reason for being interested in the story is the only valid one, and that fanfics that fit your idea of "good" fanfics are the only acceptable ones.
Zouken can out plan pretty much anybody, and would guaranteed have back up and contingency plans waiting.

Thinking Sakura attacking him wouldn't be covered in one of them, is being entirely biased, and ignoring Zouken's abilities in canon.
 

Cherry_lover

Well-Known Member
MastaofBitches said:
Zouken can out plan pretty much anybody, and would guaranteed have back up and contingency plans waiting.
No, Zouken can out-plan most people. Archer ain't one of them....

Thinking Sakura attacking him wouldn't be covered in one of them, is being entirely biased, and ignoring Zouken's abilities in canon.
What, you mean like Sakura attacking him was covered in the plan he used in HF? (And, yes, I'm being sarcastic here...).

Zouken is a pretty damn good planner, yes, but he has the fatal flaw of underestimating the mental strength of others, especially people who are under his control. That's what killed him in HF, ultimately, and that's what allowed Sakura to surprise him here.

Plus, what could he have done? Even if he'd somehow gotten hold of her, Archer would have rescued her, and probably killed him in the process. He could have outright killed her, perhaps, but how would that have helped him?
 
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