Fatespinner: Prologue chapter

GenocideHeart

Well-Known Member
#1
OK; after undergoing a renaming, my SO3 fanfic is almost ready for publishing. All I need is to insert the battle scene for the Battle Sim, the Vendeeni attack and the arrival to the underground facility, and then the chapter will be ready to go. Meanwhile, take a gander at its near complete version:

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(A/N: Hello again. This is my third fanfiction, although the first one (Second Chances) has bee put on hold and the second (Twisted Fates) is still going. First, I'd like to make one thing clear: this Star Ocean: Till The End Of Time fanfiction is NOT my main project... the 'Twisted Fates' fic will take precedence over it, so expect updates to be erratic.

Now, you're probably wondering: "If this madman updates so sporadically, then why did he start ANOTHER fic?!". Well... blame the plot demons that tormented me with this for a long while now.

This fic is an alternate plot of sort, which revolves around the presence of an OC with a peculiar point of view ever since Hyda IV's events. It is NOT a SI (the OC is a girl, I'm a guy!), nor is it a Mary Sue (the OC has her fair share of problems, and can be rather... unpleasant, as you'll see), and right now there's no pairings at all, though I can tell you right now that I won't bother with canon pairings, so forget any Fate/Sophia, Fate/Nel or Nel/Albel. Instead, expect odd pairings... I'm currently considering stuff like Fate/Tynave or Farleen (!), but I'll be more than happy to hear your input through your reviews. Just keep in mind that canon pairings are NOT my thing.

Oh, and as you may have noticed, I decided to keep Fate's original name instead of using 'Fayt'. I just... like 'Fate' better. It allows for some nice foreshadowing coupled with the fic's title, you know?

Aaanyway... I'll do my best to entertain you. Don't be surprised if I don't follow the game's dialogue - that's why it is an 'alternate' plot, huh? That said, enjoy! At Chapter's end, you'll find a small bio on the OC and her race and homeworld.

Now, on with the story!)

DISCLAIMER:

Star Ocean: Till The End Of Time, its characters and its likenesses are property of Square-Enix and tri-Ace. I claim no ownership of them and an not making any profit from this story. However, the character of Zillian O' ll Roi 'yaru, the planets Endar and Danaag and the Endarian/Danaagi race are all my creation. There ya go...

(Italics indicate thought. Bolded text is mechanical voices/dragons/etc. speaking.)

++++++++++++

Prologue: Hyda IV

++Grantier Resort Hotel, Battle Simulator++

Fate Leingod lunged at the last enemy and struck it down with a swift blow. The six-legged insectlike creature screeched and then vanished. As Fate nodded in satisfaction, the ruined city around him faded, and he found himself inside the Battle Simulator room again.

Whew, that was pretty tough, the blue-haired teen thought. Then agan, I gained a lot of levels this time, so it was worth it... I'll take a break now.

"Computer," Fate spoke to the air, "Save player data and terminate this session."

"Acknowledged," a metallic voice came from the walls. "Saving data... saved. Unlocking Battle Simulator room door... please come again."

With a nod, Fate started towards the room's door. He had a feeling today would be a very good day indeed.

++++

As Fate left the room, a pair of eyes, one humanlike and reddish, the other glasslike and dark-red, followed him. Said eyes belonged to an incredibly tall young woman, standing at almost seven feet of height and with long green hair flowing over her shoulders and down her back. The woman was an impressive sight to behold: not only was she very tall, but her body was well-toned, neither too thin nor too fat. She looked like she was in her early twentieth, and wore long blue jeans, a no-sleeve shirt with a generous decolletÞ that slightly showed off her breasts and a silver chain with a moon-shaped pendant hanging from her neck.

The things that attracted the most attention, however, were the artificial implants on her body: her otherwise perfect visage was marred by the presence of a long, thin scar that ran from the left side of her forehead to near the cener of her left cheek, passing over the obviously artificial red orb that was in place of her left eye. Her left arm was even more obviously artificial: black metal replaced flesh from slightly under the armpit onward, giving this lovely woman a peculiar, almost menacing air.

The woman kept staring at Fate with a pensive look, as if sizing up a possible opponent. Then she grinned.

That boy, he's pretty good at the Battle Simulator, she thought, having observed him fight earlier. I was just getting bored with playing alone... maybe I'll invite him next time I play to have some fun.

As the woman began to approach Fate, she noticed a young girl walk up to and sit next to him and frowned in disappointment. Tch, he has a girlfriend?, she thought. Hopefully she's not the jealous type...

Mentally shrugging, the woman kept approaching. Might as well try...

++++

"Phew! I'm beat," Fate sighed, letting his sore body slide on a bench. He had really worked up a sweat today, but he felt great nonetheless. Battle Simulators were so much fun, and as an additional bonus they provided a good workout, keeping him in shape.

"There you are," a girl's voice suddenly addressed him. Fate looked up, and met the eyes of Sophia Esteed, his childhood friend. He noticed she was glaring at him. Oh shit, he thought. He'd been so concentrated on fighting that he'd completely forgotten he was supposed to meet her... he checked the clock and winced... well over half an hour ago. He glanced at her, smiling sheepishly.

"Oh, uh... Hi, Sophia," he greeted her nervously. "I thought you were going to take a swim?"

"I was going to take a swim, but I waited forever on the beach for a certain someone..." Sophia replied with a scowl, glaring at him hard enough to burn a hole through him. Fate wilted under her accusing stare. "Uh, err... I'm sorry?" he croaked, immediately giving himself a swift mental kick in the shins. Yeah, real smooth here, Fate, he thought, realizing how lame his apology must've sounded.

"Hmph!" Sophia huffed, clearly displeased by his pitiful attempt at apologizing. She glared at him again and continued: "You said you'd come over in a few minutes, but it's been hours!"

"Sorry, Sophia!" Fate grinned, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment. "I kinda lost track of time... but hey, today I gained a lot of levels!"

"Good for you," the girl replied in a peeved tone. Fate could've sworn that, had she glared any harder, she could have reignited a dead star. He realized that if he didn't pacify her quickly, he was going to be in trouble. Big trouble. 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'-type trouble.

"Um... are you mad?" he asked her, then mentally kicked himself again. Of course she was mad. He all but dumped her for a videogame! I seem to have an uncanny ability to put my foot in my mouth today, he thought dryly as Sophia huffed again.

"I'm not mad!" she said, turning away. Yeah, anybody could tell she was not mad. Nuh-uh, not at all. Fate couldn't help but roll his eyes.

"...Excuse me?"

Fate and Sophia both looked up and instinctivel shrank back. Before them stood a tall woman with green hair. Fate recognized her after a moment: she was the young woman who lived next door to him, in Room 106, along with an even taller green-haired man. He also remembered seeing her play in the Battle Simulator and being impressed by her skill.

"Huh? You're... the woman from Room 106..." Sophia hesitantly addressed the woman. She nodded, smiling.

"Yes. Sorry to startle you... I keep forgetting that smaller people are intimidated by my size," she apologized. Her eyes then rested on Fate, and for the first time the boy truly noticed the woman's artificial implants. He found himself staring at her artificial arm in morbid fascination, wondering just what happened in order for her to need such extensive prosthetic aids. Totay's technology could fix most wounds, even serious ones, in a short time. In order for her to need artificial limbs at all, she must have been wounded very badly. I wonder what kind of metal that is, he thought. He had never seen anything quite like it before.

The green-haired woman noticed his stare and frowned. "Do my... handicaps... make you uneasy? If that's the case, I'll just leave," she inquired, her voice veined with slight disappointment. At those words, Fate snapped out of his trance and realized he'd been staring in a very rude way. He blushed violently and bowed in apology.

"Sorry... I didn't mean to be rude," he explained quickly. "It's just... I've never seen anything quite like it. Most people nowadays prefer flesh-like prosthetic parts... I suppose you have your reasons for choosing otherwise, though."

"Hmm... apology accepted," the woman nodded. "I should be used to it by now... but sometimes I find the stares unnerving. Yet... I keep these as a reminder."

"I see..." Fate murmured. Even he wasn't stupid enough to ask questions. He could tell it was not a topic to be discussed. He then regarded the woman curiously, noticing she was pretty even with her... unusual... traits. "But... did you want to talk to us?" he asked. "How can we help?"

"Well... I observed you fight in the simulator, and was wondering if you'd care for some tag-team action," she explained, then glanced at Sophia and chuckled. "But I see your girlfriend's quite mad at you, so I'll wait until later. For now, you should devote your time to her..."

"W-wait a minute...!" Sophia protested with a blush, frantically waving her arms. "Fate and I aren't together!"

"Hmm... well, you do act like you're sweethearts," the woman explained with another chuckle. She then sobered up. "Either way, boy, you'll want to make it up for her. I overheard you... making girls wait is not very nice."

"U-um, right," Fate said with a slight blush. "I was thinking of taking a walk through the hotel with her..."

"That sounds like a nice plan..." the woman mused. "Would you mind if I came along? I got here just two days ago, and haven't really explored the hotel either. Or am I a bother...?"

"No, not at all!" Sophia reassured her. For some reason, she liked this strange green-haired woman, and the idea of chatting with her made her interested.

"By all means, come along," Fate confirmed. Much like Sophia, he had taken an immediate liking to the woman, in no small part due to her being a Battle Simulator enthusiast as well, and was curious about her, though courtesy kept him from asking.

"Well then, I'll invite myself along," the woman smiled, then arched an eyebrow. "Oh, yes... we haven't introduced each other, have we?"

"I'm Fate Leingod, an Earthling," Fate said, extending his hand. Zillian took it and Fate yelped as it was nearly crushed in the tall girl's grip. She smirked. "Wimp," she whispered. Fate shot her a dirty glare as he cradled his sore appendage, while Sophia giggled.

"And I'm Sophia Esteed, also from Earth," she added with a nod, making sure not to offer her hand. Fate's experience was telltale enough, and she had no wish to nurse her hand back to health. The woman nodded back.

"I'm Zillian O' ll Roi 'yaru, an Endarian," she introduced herself. Fate and Sophia blinked. "Endarian? I don't think I ever heard of such a race before..." Fate inquired, curious. Sophia shook her head in agreement.

"Not too surprising... I believe you Earthlings know us as Danaagi. Our homeworld, Endar VI, was destroyed when its star went supernova 300 years ago," Zillian explained with a shrug. "We Endarians are mostly a 'stay put'-type race... we were given a new home on Danaag III, a previously uninhabited planet with atmospheric conditions similar to our own, but we very rarely leave it."

"Oh! Now I remember," Fate nodded as the memort of his history lessons dawned on him. "You were one of the first races to join the Pangalactic Federation... you asked for help to evacuate the Endar star system prior to its star going supernova, right?"

"Yes. Nowadays, all that's left of our ancestral home is a black hole," Zillian confirmed, a hint of sadness in her voice. "I was told our planet was beautiful back then... but no more."

"I'm sorry to hear that..." Sophia murmured. Zillian shook her head and smiled. "Ah, don't worry. It is in the past. I wasn't even alive back then," she reassured the girl. "No point in dwelling on what once was, especially when one doesn't even have any memory of it. I'm sorry if I depressed you... Shall we go?"

"Ah... I need to get changed. Do you mind?" Sophia asked. Zillian shook her head again.

"Go right ahead."

++++

A few minutes later, Fate and Zillian stood outside Sophia's room, waiting for her to finish changing. After observing her newfound friend for a while, Fate decided to get bold and ask a few questions.

"Uh, Zillian?" he began. The tall Endarian looked at him with a questioning look.

"Do all Endarians look like you?" he asked her. Zillian was silent for a while, then shrugged.

"If you mean impressively tall and with a well-toned body, yes," she answered. "Our original homeplanet, as well as Danaag III, only has a gravity that's 1.2 times that of Earth. However, we need to be strong because both planets our race lived on had extreme shifts in temperature... on Danaag III, it can go from 70 Celsius degrees in the day to minus 60 Celsius in the night, and that's on an average day. Our homeworld, I'm told, had even more impressive extremes. As a result, we became a mostly nocturnal, very active race to escape the daytime heat and keep our bodies warm in the night. A side effect of this is that we tend to be slim and always in top physical shape."

"I see..." Fate nodded.

"Also..." Zillian continued. "Our race is different from yours in that we can use our muscles to 90 percent of their potential."

"...90 percent?!" Fate breathed, his eyes wide. "Then that means..."

"Yeah, the average Endarian can probably twist you like a pretzel," Zillian nodded with a smirk. "I'd say a top Endarian's physical capabilities are about the same of a top Klausian's, perhaps slightly higher..."

"Wow..." Fate said, impressed. Klausians were one of the most physically impressive races in the know Universe. If Endarians were really this strong, then this woman's looks were very deceiving indeed.

"Hey sis," a new voice called out to them. "What're you doing here? ...Huh, who's this kid?"

The voice belonged to a green-haired man who stood at well over seven feet of height and looked remarkably like Zillian. The Endarian woman nodded with a broad smile.

"Ah, brother... he's just one of a couple friends I made down in the recreational room," she explained. "His name's Fate Leingod. Fate, this is my brother, Rayvan E' al Roi 'yaru."

"Uh, pleased to meet you," Fate said with a nervous bow. "Um, I don't have anything funny in mind, I swear..."

"Hahaha! Relax, I'm not going to eat you," Rayvan laughed. "I was just interested... my little sister here hasn't had friends since, ah..."

"Brother..." Zillian warned him with a glare. Rayvan shook his head in apology.

"Sorry, kid, can't tell ya. If Zillian decides to explain, she'll tell you herself," he said. "If I tried to say something now, she'd kill me, see?"

"Ahahaha..." Fate chuckled. He could tell those two really cared for each other.

"I'm ready, Fate... eeep!" Sophia squealed as she came out of her room and nearly bumped into Rayvan. The Endarian man scratched his head with an apologetic look in his eyes.

"Heh heh, sorry, little lady. I'm a bit clumsy..."

"Yeah," Zillian remarked with a hint of malice. "He can't help but bump into pretty little things like you, Sophia." She laughed as Sophia blushed and her brother glared at her.

"Cut it out!" Rayvan protested. He then shook his head. "Ah, whatever. I'm off to the bar downstairs. Hey, you two... don't believe a word of what she says about me!"

"Not even if it's praise?" Zillian asked innocently.

"Why you..." Rayvan mockingly shook his fist at her as he left. "Well, seeya! Take care of my little sister, ya hear?"

After the Endarian man had left, Fate shook his head. "He's... quite a character," he remarked.

"Yeah, but I love him nonetheless," Zillian smiled. "He's the only family I have left..."

"Uh, ah... no awkward moments!" Fate hastily stopped her. "If your bro finds out you've been sad while with me, he'll send me straight to the ER."

"Hahaha! All right... no more depressing thoughts," Zillian agreed as she started moving towards the elevators. "Shall we go?"

"Yes... oh wait! My watch!" Sophia stopped. "Fate, help me find it."

"What? All right..." Fate grimbled, following the girl in. Zillian shook her head with a chuckle and leaned on the wall next to the door.

After a while, she heard voices from inside.

"Ah, I found it! Okay, let's go... huh, Fate? What're you looking at the trashcan for?"

"...a candy bar, chocolate envelopes, biscuits? Geez, talk about your overeating," Fate muttered. "At this rate, you'll become pudgy."

Zillian sweatdropped. While she wasn't self-conscious about weight (mainly because Endarians were very rarely overweight), she knew for sure that was exactly the wrong thing to say to a girl.

"Fate..." Sophia said in an ominous tone. Then a loud smack came from inside the room, punctuated by a cry of pain from Fate.

"MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!"

Zillian snickered. This Fate boy appeared to have an uncanny ability to put his foot in his mouth. She could already tell that hanging around with him would be fun.

The room's door opened, and Sophia stomped out with an irritated expression on her face.

"Come on, let's stop wasting time."

Fate followed her, rubbing the back of his head. "Geez, she coulda given me a concussion..." he muttered.

"Messed up again?" Zillian asked him with an amused smirk. She chuckled as Fate shot a dirty glare at her. "Come on, we've wasted enough time already. Where first?"

"Hmm... let's explore the first floor," Fate told her. "I'm curious to see what's in the other rooms."

"Heh... all right, let's go," she nodded. "Coming, Sophia?"

"I'm right behind you," the Earth girl replied. The three then made their way to the transporters.

++++

A little while later, two exhausted Earthlings and a mildly irritated Endarian sat in the main lobby, drinking some milkshakes they had bought. Zillian sent a halfhearted glare at Fate, who wilted slightly under her eyes.

"So, Fate... what was the big idea, actually stopping to talk to an Alphalian? You should be aware of their infamous tendency to be very wordy and overly dramatic..."

"Uh, sorry," Fate apologized sheepishly. The tall Endarian shot him another sour look for good measure, then sighed. "Ah, well... no harm done, I suppose. Besides my aching ears begging for mercy, that is..."

"Er, hahaha..." Fate chuckled nervously, then hastily attempted to change subjects. "Hey, let's go see Mom and Dad to the beach, okay?"

"You're weaseling out of your deserved tongue-lashing, Leingod," Zillian growled playfully, then smirked as an extremely wicked and mean trick took shape in her mind. A trick so ghastly and horrible, no one with mercy in their hearts would have pulled it off. Which, of course, meant Zillian was just dying to try it on Fate.

"All right, I'll let it slide for now. Though, your boldness impresses me," she said condescendingly, mentally chuckling in anticipation of his reaction.

"Boldness...?" the Earthling boy asked, confused. Zillian giggled.

"Why, yes," she nodded in mirth. "You're introducing a lovely lady such as myself to your parents already. My, I had no idea you liked to rush things. I suppose it was love at first sight. So, when do we marry? I have some... fun destinations... in mind for the honeymoon..."

Sophia barely managed to contain a hysterical fit of laughter as she watched Fate gradually turn a shade of bright red that she thought no human would ever be able to attain. Her valiant attempt to keep from laughing failed when Fate started stammering and flailing his arms around in blind panic. The lithe Earthling girl dropped to the ground and began to howl like a woman possessed, holding her sides. Fate shot her a dirty look, while Zillian cackled evilly.

"That's what you get for trying to be a weasel, Fate," she chided him in mock-seriousness. Fate glared at her twice as hard as he did Sophia.

"That wasn't funny," he muttered sourly. Zillian grinned like a shark. "Says you," she retorted.

As the three friends chatted, they walked out of the lobby's southern entrance and approached the hotel's panoramic windows. Zillian briefly glanced at the back of Fate's T-shirt and snickered. The Velbaysian girl they had run into was a handful, no doubt about it. She actually scribbled her autograph on the back of Fate's shirt with permanent marker!, she thought, barely keeping herself from cracking up again. The expression on his face was priceless...

As if reading her mind, Fate shot her a sour look. "That wasn't funny either," he grumbled. "This is my favorite T-shirt, and that crazy circus girl ruined it!"

"But Fate, who knows!" Sophia cheerfully interjected. "Maybe one day, her autograph will be worth an entire planet!" She then dissolved in a fit of giggling. Fate snorted.

"Right, and I'm going to be Emperor of Roak," he muttered, clearly not believing it for a minute. Sophia kept giggling a while longer, then managed to regain control and nodded to Fate.

"Come on, let's go meet Aunt Ryoko and Uncle Robert," she urged him. Zillian blinked.

"Aunt... Uncle...? Are you two related?"

"No, but they've taken care of me so often they might as well be family," Sophia replied. Zillian nodded in understanding, and the trio slowly walked to the transporters that would lead them to the beach.

++++

Sophia stretched her joints, breathing in the fresh sea breeze. "Ahhh, I love the beach," she whispered. Zillian walked up to her and gave her an odd look.

"Hm... Your tastes are weird. I don't really like beaches. The sand tends to get in my artificial arm, and makes cleaning it a messy affair," she stated, then her voice lowered to a murmur. "Besides, people... stare. It's unnerving."

"Oh..." Sophia commented soberly. She could see the Endarian woman's point: her artificial parts certainly attracted attention even when in a casual dress, let alone when in a bathing suit. Sophia idly wondered how it must feel to be stared at like that. She concluded it had to be very, very uncomfortable.

"...hey, is that girl hitting on your boyfriend?"

Sophia blinked, then gave an exasperated sigh and turned around. "I told you Fate is not my..."

Her words were cut off and her exasperated look became an impressive death glare as she noticed a young, shapely two-tailed foxfolk obviously trying to seduce Fate. Zillian saw the look and turned away, muttering in a tone too low to hear: "Right, he's not yoir boyfriend. Gotcha. You're not jealous at all. Nossiree."

"Did you say anything?" Sophia asked in an annoyed tone, directing her glare on her. Zillian theatrically shook her head in denial. "Who, me? Didn't say a word. Must've been a pretty big fly if its buzzing bothered you."

Sophia gave her a 'I-don't-believe-you-for-a-second' look, then returned her glare on Fate and the foxgirl and stalked towards them with murder in her eyes. The Endarian woman sighed.

"She should be more honest with herself," she commented with a smirk. "A girl who isn't jealous doesn't stomp like an angry dragon over to confront another girl who intruded in her territory..."

As the exchange between Sophia and the girl heated up, Fate attempted to get between them and defuse the explosive stuation, failing miserably. Shortly afterwards, Sophia yelled one last time at the foxgirl, grabbed Fate's hand and practically dragged him away from the older woman, to a nearby umbrella. The foxgirl sniffed disdainfully, then turned around and rejoined an apparent friend of hers nearby. Zillian shook her head.

"With that attitude, both Sophia and that girl are just scaring all the men away..." she chuckled. "Ah well... might as well join them. Those two Earthlings they're talking with must be Fate's parents..."

As Zillian approached the group, Fate looked at her and motioned her over. Once she reached the group, se nodded at the older couple seated on the chairs there.

"Um... Mom, Dad, this is my new friend Zillian, an Endarian. Zillian, these are Robert and Ryoko Leingod, my parents..."

"Greetings. My name is Zillian O' ll Roi 'yaru. It's a pleasure to meet you," she introduced herself. She then eyed Fate's father speculatively. "Robert Leingod, eh...? Would you be the talented genetic researcher I've heard so much about lately?"

"I don't know about the 'talented' part... but yes, I am Robert Leingod," he replied. "Why do you ask...?"

"Just curious. Well... I wouldn't mind chatting with you, but this accursed sand is starting to invade my artificial arm," she explained, pointing to her prosthetic limb, and I'd rather get away from it before it wrecks this thing's delicate parts."

Fate's mother blinked at the strange metallic limb, then shrugged. "I understand. Please keep my son out of trouble. He has this tendency to, shall we say... run headfirst into danger whenever he can."

"Mooooooooom!" Fate complained, giving her a hurt look. Ryoko smiled. "What? It's true." Fate groaned, wile Sophia and Zillian chuckled lightly.

"Come on, you two. I feel like giving the Battle Simulator another spin, and I'd appreciate it if you'd join me."

"Huh...? Me, too?" Sophia asked, surprised. Zillian nodded. "Sure, why not?" she replied with a smile as she walked back to the elevators. Seeing she was leaving them behind, the two teens hurried after her.

"Hey, wait up!"

As the three youths disappeared in the transporter building, Robert looked at Ryoko.

"Endarian, huh... never thought I'd see one in my life. Think they'll be all right?"

"It'll be fine, dear," Ryoko nodded. "Endarians are dangerously wild and unpredictable, yes, but they also value their frends highly, and I can already tell that woman considers Fate and Sophia friends. I don't think they could be safer with anyone else..."

"I hope you're right," Robert muttered. "With the Vendeeni probably still hot on our trail, the gods know Fate will need all the friends he can get..."

++++

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That's it for now. Lemme know if you spot any errors, please.
 

Fatuous One

Well-Known Member
#5
Good chapter. It also reminds me that I actually need to finish this game... After I finish the other games I've been spending my time on... <_<

Only thing I found odd was
"Uh, ah... no awkward moments!" Fate hastily stopped her. "If your bro finds out you've been sad while with me, he'll send me straight to the ER."
The dialogue starting from "If your bro finds out" sounds a bit awkward to me, I'd revise it slightly. Of course, the dialogue from the game itself is worse at a lot of the time. :p So whatever.
 

GenocideHeart

Well-Known Member
#6
Fatuous One said:
Good chapter. It also reminds me that I actually need to finish this game... After I finish the other games I've been spending my time on... <_<

Only thing I found odd was
"Uh, ah... no awkward moments!" Fate hastily stopped her. "If your bro finds out you've been sad while with me, he'll send me straight to the ER."
The dialogue starting from "If your bro finds out" sounds a bit awkward to me, I'd revise it slightly. Of course, the dialogue from the game itself is worse at a lot of the time. :p So whatever.
Hmm... thanks for the pointer. I'm a bit at a loss for that part... what could I replace the phrase with? Any ideas?

EDIT: And I'm thinking of making this a Fayt/Roberia fic later on. :lol: Either that or Fayt/Tynave. I like Tynave.

Fayt/Clair might be another choice... Clair is relatively easy to write.
 

Israfel

Well-Known Member
#7
Hmm I noticed a small typo here

her otherwise perfect visage was marred by the presence of a long, thin scar that ran from the left side of her forehead to near the cener of her left cheek
the word 'cener' I believe was meant to be 'center'.
 

Fatuous One

Well-Known Member
#8
Hmm... thanks for the pointer. I'm a bit at a loss for that part... what could I replace the phrase with? Any ideas?
Although it's somewhat a matter of opinion on how it sounds good... I think it might sound better as "If your bro hears that I made you sad," or "If your bro sees you like this,"

EDIT: And I'm thinking of making this a Fayt/Roberia fic later on. :lol: Either that or Fayt/Tynave. I like Tynave.

Fayt/Clair might be another choice... Clair is relatively easy to write.
Can't give you any ideas here, since I haven't played much of the game... <_<
 

SimmyC

Well-Known Member
#9
I haven't played the game period. Which is why you don't see any of my comments here since, well, it would be just spam...like this post. :p
 
#11
Thread necromancy at it's finest. :ph43r:

Alright, GH, couple of questions for you. First and foremost is, obviously, whether or not you plan to continue the fic. The second is more of a suggestion (assuming you're taking them) for the pairing. While Fayt/Tynave at least would work well, at least in terms of ease for setting up the pairing (have Tynave get fed up with how easily she gets beat, and go to Fayt for help), might I suggest a slightly more...off the wall pairing? Hook him up with the alchemist (I can't remember her name for the life of me, though--she's the one who's kid just died, and her name is some sort of inherited title, and she's found near all the wild dragons...damn is this gonna bug me).

Granted, I don't know if she'll even be included in the fic, but meh, an idea's an idea.

Anyway, just wondering.
 

GenocideHeart

Well-Known Member
#12
Revanant Dragoon said:
Thread necromancy at it's finest. :ph43r:

Alright, GH, couple of questions for you. First and foremost is, obviously, whether or not you plan to continue the fic. The second is more of a suggestion (assuming you're taking them) for the pairing. While Fayt/Tynave at least would work well, at least in terms of ease for setting up the pairing (have Tynave get fed up with how easily she gets beat, and go to Fayt for help), might I suggest a slightly more...off the wall pairing? Hook him up with the alchemist (I can't remember her name for the life of me, though--she's the one who's kid just died, and her name is some sort of inherited title, and she's found near all the wild dragons...damn is this gonna bug me).

Granted, I don't know if she'll even be included in the fic, but meh, an idea's an idea.

Anyway, just wondering.
First, yes, this is an active, if slightly asleep, project.

Secondly... alchemist, eh? Offhand, I can think of Misty Lear, but she didn't have a kid. There was another, though.

My personal preference for a pairing is Fayt/Queen Aquaria (and yes, Roberia is her given name). Tynave, Farleen and to an extent Clair are also choices.

Also note that Zillian is an OC, but there's a reason why she's in the fic, and she's not a SI. She's actually a homage to .hack//SIGN - a 4D dweller who got stuck in the Eternal Sphere when her 'real world' body died while she was playing/testing it.

She's still vaguely aware that the whole ES is a game, but she's been in the 'game world' so long that she's come to genuinely love it, and considers it her 'true' life, since she can never go back to 4D through 'normal' means (IE, logging off), in no small part because she can lead a life that she'd have had no chance of leading in the 4D world, where she was a sickly girl with a reduced lifespan expectancy.

As a result, she's going to be more than a bit upset at the whole Luther mess later on, and while she's not really knowledgeable about either Vanguard or Elicoor, she's a phenomenal fighter in her ES incarnation, which will help out greatly.

Also, I'll probably overhaul the 'party' that Fate/Fayt recruits. For starters, Nel will be replaced by Clair in this story, and I'll probably also have either Welch or Mackwell replace Adray, and someone else replace Roger (whom I have no sympathy for).

Any thoughts/tips/suggestions?
 

GenocideHeart

Well-Known Member
#13
Looked the Inventors list up, and the alchemist is indeed Misty Lear:

Misty Lear - Age ??? - Alchemy, Talent Level 50
Seductively attractive woman who does not reveal her age. Has
been divorced and recently suffered the death of her 2-year-old
daughter. One must wonder what goes through her mind as she
sinks into the depths of sorrow during her alchemy work. Also well
versed in symbology and skilled in the art of imbuing stones with
symbol magic.
I'm also considering the following promotions to party members, besides the Guild representative, Welch Vineyard:

Stanice - Age 20 - Crafting, Talent Level 20
Featherfolk girl who wields mysterious power. The gems in the
craftwork she produces harbor wonderous energies. Perhaps her
bashful nature hides a deep, but unpolished passion.
Mackwell - Age 26 - Alchemy, Talent Level 31
One would not expect this stylish fellow to be, in actuality, a dour
man who spends day and night engrossed in alchemical research.
Uses special exploding potions to chase away the woman who
cannot help but seek his attentions. Though taciturn and
inhospitable, he is rumored to have several pet cats.
Izak - Age 99 - Engineering, Talent Level 65
Anthropomorphic weapon created several hundred years ago by the
technological superpower Greeton. Three developers repaired it
after coming across the disabled machine on the outskirts of
Surferio. Although it was meant to be a killing machine, it is also
surprisingly skilled at mechanical work, much to the light of
developers both here and abroad.
 
#14
GenocideHeart said:
My personal preference for a pairing is Fayt/Queen Aquaria (and yes, Roberia is her given name).
:blink: :mellow: :) :snigger: :drool:

I knew I'd heard that name before. I knew it, but I couldn't place it for the life of me. GH, that idea is GODLY. Needless to say I approve. Completely and wholeheartedly.


Misty Lear - Age ??? - Alchemy, Talent Level 50
Seductively attractive woman who does not reveal her age. Has
been divorced and recently suffered the death of her 2-year-old
daughter. One must wonder what goes through her mind as she
sinks into the depths of sorrow during her alchemy work. Also well
versed in symbology and skilled in the art of imbuing stones with
symbol magic.
YES! That was her. Though she pales in comparison to Roberia :snigger:

She's still vaguely aware that the whole ES is a game, but she's been in the 'game world' so long that she's come to genuinely love it, and considers it her 'true' life, since she can never go back to 4D through 'normal' means (IE, logging off), in no small part because she can lead a life that she'd have had no chance of leading in the 4D world, where she was a sickly girl with a reduced lifespan expectancy.
Now that is interesting. Does she view Fayt and the others as 'merely programs' (even only subconsciously) or does she see them as more alive than the people she knows in 4D? Or hell, does she even know they're programs?


As a result, she's going to be more than a bit upset at the whole Luther mess later on, and while she's not really knowledgeable about either Vanguard or Elicoor, she's a phenomenal fighter in her ES incarnation, which will help out greatly
...Huh? Does that mean she'll be tagging along with Fayt to Vanguard?

....and now I'm seeing Zillian cramming herself into Fayt's escape pod with him, with her cleavage shoved into his face, and he's thinking: 'Don't look down, her brother'll kill me, don't look down, don't look down, do--SHIT. Oh well, at least I'll die happy.' :snigger:

And as for the party rehaul, Stanice doesn't really appeal to me (though I suppose you could get it to work well enough), but Izak and Mackwell definitely have potential... :blink: Holy shit. Sorry, just got the idea of Nel with a major crush (secret of course) on Mackwell. And by crush I mean nearly stalker-level obsession :snigger::rofl:

Any thoughts/tips/suggestions?
Fayt/Roberia. IT MUST BE DONE. Other than that, maybe have the Destruction gene/symbol/whatever mess with Fayt's head a bit? Possibly have him go into a berserker state after using heavy amounts of Destruction symbology, especially after he obliterates the Vendeeni cruiser? :huh.: Otherwise, looks pretty good.
 

GenocideHeart

Well-Known Member
#15
Revanant Dragoon said:
:blink: :mellow: :) :snigger: :drool:

I knew I'd heard that name before. I knew it, but I couldn't place it for the life of me. GH, that idea is GODLY. Needless to say I approve. Completely and wholeheartedly.
Good, I'll try it out. Funny thing is, in my plans it'll be LASSELLE who'll push for the idea, after an incident during the desert summit arc.

:snigger:

Now that is interesting. Does she view Fayt and the others as 'merely programs' (even only subconsciously) or does she see them as more alive than the people she knows in 4D? Or hell, does she even know they're programs?
As I said, the Eternal Sphere has pretty much become her new life. She has no body to go back to, and over time, she started thinking of creatures in the ES less and less as programs, and more and more as living, breathing beings.

It got to the point that she's in a state of near-brainwash. She's still dimly aware that there's another plane of existence, and occasionally has flashes of memory to her 4D life, but mostly, she acts as if she always lived in the ES, because the line between fiction and reality has become too blurred in the years she's been living in the ES.

It should be noted that her 'brother' Rayvan is a data entity, like Fayt and the other 'natives', but she treats him like family nonetheless, and is genuinely fond of him.

Her nature as a 4D denizen as opposed to a data entity, however, does give herv an unique ability - alteration of matter, much like what Fayt and Maria do. But like Fayt's power, Zillian's is uncontrollable, and she only can use it when her stress reaches a breaking point, and not on herself.

In her case, the ability lets her restore something/someone damaged to perfect shape/health, kinda like what Crazy Diamond can do in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. But this 'ability' doesn't much come in play overall, although it's always there somewhat.

...Huh? Does that mean she'll be tagging along with Fayt to Vanguard?
Yes. Simply put, there's not enough evacuation pods for everyone on the ship, so she ends up stuffing herself in the same pod as Fayt at his insistence when he realizes she has no intention of 'stealing' anyone else's pod. It also somewhat changes the meeting with Cliff and Norton, of course.

....and now I'm seeing Zillian cramming herself into Fayt's escape pod with him, with her cleavage shoved into his face, and he's thinking: 'Don't look down, her brother'll kill me, don't look down, don't look down, do--SHIT. Oh well, at least I'll die happy.'
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
 

sigfried27

Well-Known Member
#16
Misty Lear - Age ??? - Alchemy, Talent Level 50
Seductively attractive woman who does not reveal her age. Has
been divorced and recently suffered the death of her 2-year-old
daughter. One must wonder what goes through her mind as she
sinks into the depths of sorrow during her alchemy work. Also well
versed in symbology and skilled in the art of imbuing stones with
symbol magic.?


YES! That was her. Though she pales in comparison to Roberia
Hmm, and here I thought that you meant Puffy at first, but then again, thinkng back, she wasn't an alchemist, but a compounder...oh well, that would just be a somewhat odd relationship anyways I would think.

But anyways, most of these pairing suggestions seem fine with me, though the mention of Welch makes me think of a pairing with her, but that's just me, choose whatever you want, as off the wall pairings are rarely bad.
 

Mighty Bob

Well-Known Member
#17
Gah...happy to see you're still working on this GH, cause a Fayte/Roberia pairing would be awesome (and as far as I know it's still a unique idea, though I rarely have the heart to go wading through FFN or MM these days)

Did remind me though that I really should get back to playing SO3 before I forget what the hell I was doing in game last time I saved.

So Zillian is kind a cross between Subaru and Tsukasa huh? Wouldn't have caught the reference if you hadn't mentioned it.
 

GenocideHeart

Well-Known Member
#18
Mighty Bob said:
So Zillian is kind a cross between Subaru and Tsukasa huh? Wouldn't have caught the reference if you hadn't mentioned it.
Of course you wouldn't have caught it. It's not in the chapter. Or in most of the following ones, barring dream sequences. Zillian's nature as a 4D dweller won't be revealed until MUUUUUCH later, and the first ints will be dropped around Vanguard. So for at least a few chapters, she's going to essentially be just there as an extra party member.
 
#19
How would Maria react to seeing Zillian with matter-altering powers? Latch onto her and not let go? Hell, does she still have that more-than-slightly-freaky obsession with Fayt? Especially once she realizes that the Queen of Aquaria is hot to trot with him?

Good, I'll try it out. Funny thing is, in my plans it'll be LASSELLE who'll push for the idea, after an incident during the desert summit arc.
:blink: :jawdrop: :ph43r: :snigger: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Good Lord, that I'm gonna have to see to believe.
 

GenocideHeart

Well-Known Member
#20
Revanant Dragoon said:
How would Maria react to seeing Zillian with matter-altering powers? Latch onto her and not let go? Hell, does she still have that more-than-slightly-freaky obsession with Fayt? Especially once she realizes that the Queen of Aquaria is hot to trot with him?
At first she's convinced Zillian is yet another experiment of Robert Leingod, but she realizes that it's not the case when Zillian begins to behave erratically near the 'plot twist'. She's the first to make the connection when the whole thing is revealed.
 
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