Favourite TFFA Scenes

Zenithos

Well-Known Member
#1
Here is where you can post your favourite TFFA scene or snippet. It doesn't matter which game it came from. It doesn't matter whether it was memorable, really dramatic, really moving and emotional, or just plain gut-wrenching funny. Post them here.

Here are a few of mine to start off:

Destination?" Unknown asked, in Zeni's general direction as the group picked up its pace.

"Death and Destruction." Zeni nodded. "Just the way you like it."

"Capital." Unknown grinned a feral grin. "...and is that Eterna?"

"Say hello to the nice demon, Eterna." Zeni said to the lump she was dragging behind her.

"'lo." Eterna nodded at Unknown. "Excuse me if I don't kill you. I'm a little preoccupied with enjoying this treatment."

"Likewise." Unknown nodded.

"It's almost midnight." Zeni said.

"What happens at midnight?" Mick asked.

"...midnight happens at midnight." Zeni said, before falling silent. Eterna giggled.

"...." The rest of the group couldn't help but follow Zeni's example while resisting the urge to give Eterna a collective helping of kicks.
The dragon reared up and roared in all its majestic glory as it looked down upon the tangled mess that was its target. On its head and all along its body stood the sorry bunch of doomed....*COUGH*...brave heroic volunteers who have decided to take the fight to the throat of the enemy...literally.

"Everyone got the plan?!" Mick shouted, his hands shining bright with all the collected manna.

"Wait, before we plunge to our doom, let me get this straight." LL said, shifting his footing around a bit on the scaly back of the dragon to find a surface that he thought was slightly more reassuring. "We're going to cast a barrier around ourselves and...."

"...With complete strangers we've never even met before." Left supplied.

"Yes, with complete strangers we've never even met before, and we're going to go down there into that gaping mouth..." LL continued.

"...at our own personal peril and the risk of our precious lives." Solarman said helpfully.

"What he said, to go deep into the bowels of that monster..." LL continued.

"all the while plunging into a most painful and excruciating yet heroic and brave doom" Zero chimmed in.

".....do you have to be that graphic?" LL asked, pausing, his eyebrows twitching. "Anyway, go down there to destroy it from the inside....."

"Unleashing the very fury of hell itself." Nel nodded.

"Yes, that at least we can count on," LL nodded in agreement, "Before, you promised and pinky swore and crossed your heart hope to die stick needles in your eyes, that we'd get out safely and unharmed." LL looked around. "Did I leave anything out?"

"....that's pretty much the plan, yes." Zeni nodded, showing a look of approval. "Any other questions?"

There was silence.

"What about the kamikaze aspect?" Eterna-chan, who had just recently been saved from becoming worm food, whispered to Zeni.

"Shut up, or I'll put you back where I found you." Zeni muttered, swinging one forearm around to her front where a bright red flash immediately gathered. "Charge up your Blood Fortress. We're going to need all the barrier strength we can get."
"Right. On the count of three, we're releasing the barrier and attacking." Mick said. "One..."

"THREE!" Zeni shouted, raising one manna-charged hand.

"CHIDORI!"

"Get out of my way, Duck Butt! You're cramping my style!"

"FEEL THE WRATH OF THE HOCKEY STICK, CANUCKS! FLAMING C!"

"I'M MAH CHARGIN MAH LAZERZS!!! DEMONIC LIGHTNING HAMMER!"

"PASSING WIND!"

"....wait, who just shouted 'passing wind'?"

"...yeah, it's stinky enough down here."

"I just came up with a random name, ok?! Everyone else was shouting out their attack names, so I needed to come up with one!"

"STICK OF DYNAMITE!"

"That's not an attack name!"

"XELLOS STICK....wait, that's useless. Anyway, H4XX0RSS MOCKING!"

"Final Judgement..." That was Solarman.

"Don't jinx it! We're not dead yet!"

"FORTH KANTETSU" That was Os.

"Who's Kantetsu?"

"The blade, man, the blade!"

"Sounded a lot a like opantsu for a moment there."

"..."

"THIS ONE'S FOR THE FLUFFY CRITTERS!" Another figure went crazy with a pair of heavy gauge shotguns. No need to guess this one. "THIS ONE'S FOR LITTLE ORPHAN ANNE! THIS ONE'S BECAUSE I HAVE AMMO LEFT IN MY GUN! AND ANOTHER JUST BECAUSE I CAN!"

"...." Yuki, summoning a DITE supernova.

"Arch-Supernova" Epsilon, summoning a rather more colourful DITE supernova

"+OMGWTFPWN!!! Vorpal Speed Stickblade!!!" That was Zero.

"....I'm surprised you even managed to pronounce that..."

"Thank you!"

"No, that wasn't a compliment...oh, never mind."

"EAT THIS PUNK!" That was Parker, with his chem thrower in one hand, a multi-crossbow gun in another, generally letting all hell loose.

The dragon reared back its head before spewing out a new jet of flame, lighting up the abyss before them.

"VES' MOD STAFF!" Courtesy of Locke, his face glowing ominously in the dragon's fire.

"Wait, how's modding going to help here?"

"You can ban and flame the worm, right?"

"I doubt this fella's a member of any forum."

"Be quiet, you lot! It takes some suspense of disbelief for this to work!"

"oh...."

"THIS ONE'S FOR DOMINARIA! WRATH OF AJANI!" Left screamed, swinging a giant glowing axe.

"WATCH IT! YOU ALMOST CHOPPED MY HEAD OFF!"

"Darn it, all the good spell names are taken. Oh well, FIREBALL!" Kingdark shouted, summoning another fire storm.

"Call it Flame tempest or burning fire of youth."

"That's an idea. BURNING FIRE OF YOUUUUUUUUUTH!" Kingdark shouted.

"Better. Much better."

"ZAN GAN KEN!"

"H-hey! The worm is there! You hardly have to aim!"

"MECHA TAMA STORM!"

"Watch where you're aiming! Are you people blind?!"

"PROCLAIM!" That was Nel.

"Stop staring. It's not going to get bigger, you ecchi."

"Let's do this one together, Sis." Eterna said, holding one glowing hand out.

"..." Zeni grasped Eterna's hand. "CRIMSON WRATH!" They shouted together as the glow turned a bright red.

The darkness turned a bright white as the combined attacks created...well...for a lack of a better word, a fiasco.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Shinobu pushed her way towards the front of the crowd of Hinata Sou refugees just in time to catch the worm spasming and freezing, as if in shock, its tentacles still flying about erratically. "...Motoko-sempai...Suu....Mutsumi-sempai..." She closed her eyes tightly. "Keitaro-sempai..."

"That idiot better come back. He has a lot to answer to when he does." Naru said, stepping up beside Shinobu, still in a bathrobe.

"Darn it, why does Yuki always get the interesting bits." Haruhi sighed, watching as the worm continued it's musical statue stance.

"Wait! LOOK!" One of the refugees shouted, as the worm's abdomen started to swell and bulge unnaturally...well, unnatural for a 500m long worm from hell, that is.

"..." Mitsune took out an umbrella and held it in front of her.

KABOOM!

SPLATTER!

"Nice weather, no?" Mitsune said, whipping her umbrella around above her, giving the other grime-covered by-standers a cheerful grin, much to their utter annoyance.

"Keitaro-sempai!" Shinobu cried, wiping away the grime from her eyes and looking up into the sky. It was devoid of anything. There was only a deep silence as everyone looked around for the sorry bunch of doomed....*COUGH*...brave heroic volunteers.

"...Keitaro-sempai..." Shinobu hiccupped, falling to her knees. "No...not Keitaro-sempai....Suu-chan, Motoko-sempai, Mutsumi-sempai...."

"No...Keitaro...you're immortal, aren't you?" Naru asked the surrounding air. "You're kidding right?"

There was more silence for the following 2 or 3 minutes in which whispers and murmurs spread through the worm-innard-splattered crowd like wildfire. Some sighed. Some cried, lamenting the passing of the sorry bunch of doomed....*COUGH*...brave heroic volunteers. Some laughed, patting each other on the back, happy that their refuge was safe again for a while, thanks to the sacrifice of the sorry bunch of doomed....*COUGH*...brave heroic volunteers.

"....not dead...."

"Huh, did somebody say something?" Haruhi asked, looking around.

"...we're not dead..."

"I heard a voice." Naru said.

"The dead are speaking!" Mitsune gasped.

"...don't be that hurried to write us off..." Another voice said.

"....aren't we dead? I'm sure I'm already dead."

"Arrrgh...I can't feel my legs..."

"That's my leg you're holding again, Eterna-chan..."

"Oh? that's why it seemed to contain more fat..."

There was a brief scuffle from above.

"Wait, they're up there, on the roof!" Shinobu cried, running out into the goo covered garden and pointing up.

Sure enough, glued to the Hinata Sou's roof was the sorry bunch of not-so-doomed....*COUGH*...brave heroic volunteers who was now trying their best to unstick themselves from their own handiwork.

"Somebody help us! We're ass-deep in sticky worm goo and we can't move!"

"Shut up! I'll get out of this myself. I don't need anyone to help me....Crap..."

"Shut up and save me the annoyance, Duck Butt."

"This is not mud." Eterna noted, watching as Zeni tried to scrabble to kill her...or at least permanently maim her.

"Shut up, dear sister. I've just killed a giant 500m worm. Kiling a fellow vampire seems a much smaller feat at the moment." Zeni muttered, falling back onto the roof, giving up trying to pummel Eterna as all the punches she threw just kept on throwing themselves back in her face thanks to the elastic property of the worm goo, much to Eterna's giggly amusement.

"Well, that brings back memories, doesn't it?" Eterna smiled, looking at the palm of the hand that Zeni had grasped.

Zeni could only do so much to ignore her by staring at the sky. But a blush had crept into her goo-encrusted cheeks.

"We should do more of these sisterly things, you know, for old time's sake." Eterna giggled.

"....I hate genetics..." Zeni sighed.
"I just had a load of worm meatballs." Zeni said, from her seat on a kitchen counter. "I'm afraid my appetite's decided it needs a holiday and I fear it's going to be a permanent one, so nothing for me, thanks." Zeni nodded at DAA.

"Ooh! Ooh! Type AB rhesus negative blood for me, please!" Eterna shouted, swinging down from a beam.

'...sometimes, it's easy to forget that these two young girls are actually vampires...' everyone in the room thought, sweatdropping, watching as Zeni threw all the sharp silverware available in one drawer at Eterna.

"We're Crimson Nobles, for Heaven's sake." Zeni sighed, sitting back. "We've sworn, not a drop of blood."

"Aww, you're no fun." Eterna pouted, swinging backwards and forwards on her beam. "What about some yaoi doujins then? Pwetty pwease, DAA?"

Everyone in the room shot Eterna dark murderous looks.

"Ok, ok, yuri then?" Eterna asked, dodging skillfully while still hanging upside down as Zeni threw anything projectile-convertible in the kitchen at Eterna.

"So, our primary concern right now is to rest up and resupply." Epsilon said. "We now have a party of sorts so..."

"Party? We're a party? Whoah there, I'm not ready for that sort of a commitment..." Eterna said, swinging off the rafter and landing lightly on the floor.

'...and yet you're ready for the 'other' sort of commitment...' Everyone thought, sweatdropping simultaneously.
Legacy laughed, happy he could get his stuff cleaned off, at least. The sooner it was in the wash, the better. Legacy almost immediately slipped out of his jersey and his pads. In what appeared to be less than three seconds, Legacy had his skates and his pants off, ready to be washed and cleaned as soon as possible-

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"What the HELL are you doing?! Put your clothes back on!"

"MY EYES! MY EYES!"

"ARGH!"

Legacy looked back up, and realized how...horrified...the others in his group were, as well as with the residents of Hinata Sou. Shinobu had passed out, while Motoko and Naru looked ready to deliver what they would deem to be a necessary around of punishment.

"...aw, come on guys!" Legacy said. "I need to get my gear cleaned off before we get back into anything, y'know."

"But could you do it WITHOUT taking it ALL off, NOW?!" Zeni looked like she was going to kill Legacy. On the other hand, so did most of the people present.

In a rather disturbing revelation, Legacy noticed only Eterna wasn't ready to immediately kill him.

"...you have surprisingly hairy legs" she commented, rather confused.

The group looked down. Some started to gag and vomit at the sight of Legacy's legs.

"What?" Legacy asked rather innocently - if such an action was even possible for him. "Nobody shaves during the playoffs."

"WE'RE NOT IN THE PLAYOFFS!"

"..."

With that being said, Legacy reached for a towel and wrapped it around his waist as he picked up his equipment and made his way over to the inn's washing machines. As he had stated, he needed to get his gear cleaned, ASAP.
Hey guys and girls and everything else!" he called as he re-entered the New Base of Operations with his Xellos-ish grin back on his face. "Did I miss anything?"

"Awesome cake."

"Legacy's...not you, the other Legacy's hairy legs."

LL blinked. Quite the feat when your eyes are already closed. "...Cake, huh?"
Legacy pondered that, but was interrupted just as the door was blown open by a combination of a ki attack and a fist. Behind all that were several other figures of mixed alignments but with a similar idea at the moment

"We've found you now - ARGH!" Motoko, Naru, and the first few through the door entered with the intention of finding the formerly naked hockey player, but were met with the sight of his...unsightly...legs. Again.

"Okay, seriously, you're going to have to just accept the fact that my legs are like this," Legacy explained. "I do things a certain way, and leaving it all alone - I do that! Otherwise, this whole thing's gonna get old real fast."

"But can't you shave, at least?!" Naru demanded. "That's so...so..GROSS!"

Legacy scoffed. "Hey, that's how hockey players do it. And be thankful it isn't the playoffs, 'cause that's when you get the sideburns and the mustaches. Throw that in with everything else..."

The present group attempted to ponder what that would look like. Of course, factoring how bad Legacy's legs were now, they paled and very nearly vomited once again at the thought of something even worse.

"...enough!" Motoko shouted. "Your lack and disregard for personal hygiene is a danger to all of us living here in this time of crisis! Imagine if the yaoist were to get wind of this! If you shall not tidy yourself up, then all of us here shall!"

Legacy stared at the kendoka blankly, as did Naru and a select few behind her.

"...you're kidding me."

"...I don't think she is," Naru answered rather meekly. "She...doesn't like your legs, and while I don't either, I don't want to even think about touching it."

Legacy laughed a bit, but was stopped mid-laugh as Motoko lashed out. He had narrowly dodged the blade, and was relieved to know that the towel he had managed to grab was still okay.

"Are you trying to kill me?!"

"We will attempt to subdue you. If you refuse to surrender, we shall use appropriate force..."

Looking back and forth between the people who were determined to enforce a rather questionable level of personal hygiene upon the hockey player.

"...alright, you're crazy," Legacy said, pointing to Motoko. He looked over at Naru, and was somewhat conflicted. "You're...okay, but not helping. Everybody else..."

Legacy tried to think of something to say, and they anxiously waited for it. He looked arbitrarily at a corner, stared in shock, and pointed. They all turned to try and see what Legacy had seen.

Legacy quickly ran in the other direction. The others figured out what was happening, and gave chase.

While a fight with Motoko had the potential to be interesting - as well as possibly being very lopsided in Legacy's misfortune - he was to be without his equipment for at least another twenty-five minutes. All he had was his towel and his jockstrap - not exactly what he'd use to do battle with the kendoka.

And so, Legacy ran as fast as his disgusting, gross, and unsightly legs could carry him.
Just then, the doors exploded open.

"Zeni! Eterna! Are you girls ok? We heard the commotion and.....ooh, sorry if we were interrupting some sort of sibling private time..." Epsilon smiled an uneasy smile, before retreating back behind the doors.

"GET OUT HERE AND HELP ME!" Zeni screamed.

"Ah...?" There was a voice from above.

Zeni and Eterna looked up just in time to see the half-naked form of a hockey player silhouetted against the pale full moon as he sailed out from the second floor of the inn....

"....hair...legs..." was all Zeni managed to mutter.

"They're cute, aren't they?" Eterna nodded in would-be-agreement.
"....airships..." Zero noted, looking up into the dark red sky. Sure enough, an entire fleet of warships was now clustered in the air in what seemed like a sort of phalanx formation.

"Gear up, men! We have a situation!" Master Chief barked, striding through the room.

"Airships go 'Pop', don't they?" Unknown grinned a feral grin.

"Well....some of those do look like the old-fashioned balloon type....while the others look like battleships from..." Nikolaus began.

"...the covenant..." Master Chief muttered, splitting aside a blind in one window.

"Umm, the laundry's finished..." Shinobu coughed lightly from the back of the room.

Everyone looked around at her, giving her a rather unnatural stare.

"...umm...is this a bad time?"

"....well....it'd be nice to head out there in something more than just a bathrobe..." Master Chief nodded, indicating the pink fluffy SPARTAN bathrobe he was currently wearing...though he had opted to keep his helmet on for some funny reason.

"Yeah. My shotguns and chem throwers. Out of the laundry yet?" Parker asked, taking a stab at something he thought might be a civil way of asking.

"Umm, yes, all your clothes and equipment are ready. Even the uumm..." Shinobu winced. "....h-hockey gear..."

The sorry bunch of doomed....*COUGH*...brave heroic volunteers looked at one another, grinned, before heading out, their pink bathrobes swaying from side to side and their pink flip-floppy slippers flopping about.
"Oh yes," LL said, nodding vigorously. "I love, er...buttsecks?"

The yaoists shared looks among themselves.

"Do we trust his words?" one of them asked.

"I'M TELLING YOU IT'S A TRICK," the unbeliever from before growled.

"I think I have to agree," another said. "How often have we ever found a man willing admit that he loves yaoi?"

The leader thought for a moment. As it was, the others noticed Zeni dropping back to the ground, unaware of their presence. "There is one way to find out." She turned back to LL, glaring uncertainly. "Kill that teammate of your's, and maybe we'll trust you."

LL's grin didn't even falter, he just walked to the water's edge and picked up his discarded sword. A second later, he teleported from view.

Zeni's mind was racing as the Hinata Sou slowly collapsed before her. There were so many things that needed done and no time to do it. The defenseless bystanders needed to be protected, the advancing forces needed to be pushed back, the-

She sensed a presence appear behind her, and she turned, just in time to feel a sword impale her body in the exact same spot that Epsilon's blade had earlier. Her eyes widened as she stared at her attacker.

"W-what are... you doing?" she stammered.

LL couldn't help himself. The moment was just too perfect. He leaned toward her, opened on eye just a sliver, held a finger to his mouth, and whispered, "Sore wa himitsu desu. (That is a secret)" Then he dropped her to the floor.

The yaoists approached slowly, still in shock over what they'd seen. The leader gave a nudge to the unbeliever, who walked over and grabbed Zeni's wrist.

"No pulse," it confirmed. "She's definitely dead."

"Good enough?" LL asked cheerfully.

The yaoists all nodded. "Alright, two of us will accompany you to the airship. You'll be expected to give any information available to the captain of the ship. She'll relay it to Mistress Chief."

LL continued to grin his happy grin all the way up to the ship.

Back on the ground, realizing she was alone again, Zeni stood up.

"I swear to God," she muttered as she yanked the sword out of her chest. "IF ONE MORE PERSON STABS ME TODAY I AM SO GOING TO FUCK THEM UP!"
I'll add more later...
 

parker

Well-Known Member
#2
When I made U1's dangly bits extra dangly. A.K.A our last fight.

I stood up shakely and grabbed what was left of my right arm as I felt the magick of Endsville and the Flock woking to stop the blood loss from my stump. It seemed this was the end of my train ride, atleast I was able to do some good by helping out those two back at the tower, Left and Solarman were there names I think. I picked up my cleaver and readied my self.

Unknown charged, I cleaved up with my weapon and landing a hit to his crotch with the sharp side of my blade as he slammed a fist to my face sening me through a building. He was on the gound with large amounts of blood coming from his now crotchless pants, though his wound was healing fast, alot faster than mine were any way. I got back up. I was going to take every drop of his blood I could, and when I was done and he had me beat I would look him striaght in the face and spit in his eye like any sore loser would.

He got back up to. Well I guess this is it. I ran fowards and slash with my balde and the flat side connects with the side of his face and I smile as I hear the crack of bones and knew that Mr.Eye was getting to know his new room mates the Bone shard Brothers.I smashed my knee into his crotch and he dislocated the shoulde on what was left of my right arm.

Those would be the moments I would look back on and smile, as I fought a good hard fight. Two monsters locked in a battle taht only one would walk away from. He picked me up from the ground, When did I get there? by my neck and I could tell that this would be his finisher move, the one that would end my life and give me one way transport to Hell, and he asked me if I had any last word. I smiled and swirled around what was in my mouth, then let loose a huge gob of spit, blood, and some stuff from my stomach into his face and hitting his almost fully healed eye. That would be the last thing I did on any plane except for Hell for awhile,and as I was slammed to the ground I got one last message from the Flock.

'You have lost us, young human, and the Son of Hell has lost access to this realm and all who take sanctuary here.'
 

Zenithos

Well-Known Member
#3
A loud roar in the sky caused them all to look up in Hinata Sou's direction. At first, they dismissed it as another mecha launching from the resistance base. But then, upon further scrutiny...

"....that isn't what I think it is, is it...?" Legacy asked, shielding his eyes for a better look. "...it's a concrete pipe...?" He asked as whatever it was smashed through a dropship without as much as a shift in its trajectory.

"....it's a tank! It's gotta be a tank!" Parker shouted, watching as whatever it is, it ripped off the upper part of a yaoist mecha before bouncing heavily and clumsily across the battlefield.

"No! It's a frickin Jojo deus ex machina!" Unknown shouted as the steamroller bounced past them, spinning like a feral top from hell as it ploughed through another set of yaoist troops.

"ZA WARUDO! WRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" A rampaging wave of dust and dirt zoomed down from the Hinata Sou towards the rolling steamroller which had just cleared its way through yet another set of mechas and a dropship and was just on its way to a friendly rendezvous with another set of would-be-scrap-metal.

"MUDAH!" The cry rent the air as something light and small emerged from the huge wave of dust and grabbed the steamroller out of midair. "ORA ORAAAAAAAA!" The battle cry shook the battlefield as the steamroller was swung round and round through the enemy ranks, launching yaoists left right and center, making Sauron look like a bully in a playground.

"....I think Zeni's been holding off for a bit too long..." Legacy said, watching as the battle-crazed vampire went 'WRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYY' once more on a group of retreating marionettes.

"...The force is really messed up with that one." Unknown nodded in agreement, calmly blasting a hole through another nearby yaoist mech.

"Fess up, who spiked her drink?" Parker asked, watching as a big mushroom cloud of dust puffed up in the distance.

A whistling sound came from above.

As one, all three stepped calmly to one side.

They didn't as much as flinch as the shockwave from the steamroller's landing blew their clothes and hair outwards, sending dust and grit everywhere.

"Sorry for being late." Zeni said, hugging one knee atop the steamroller...or at least, what qualified as up as the steamroller had landed nose first. "I had to see to the evacuation. By the way, you wouldn't mind holding them off for another 10 minutes or so while the evacuation's completed, would you?"

"Us?" Legacy asked, looking around at Parker and Unknown. "I've been fighting without much of a cause for the past 20 minutes or so. I think I can go another 10 for one." He grinned.

"Ditto." Parker nodded.

"The darkness of the night demands blood sacrifices..." Unknown growled.

"Good. I'm counting on you." Zeni smiled, standing up and brushing some dust off her trousers. "Oh, and if you see Eterna-chan, remember, she need a spanking." She said as she leapt down and lifted the steamroller over one shoulder.

"You think?" Legacy asked, grinning.

"There's more than one butt that's gonna get spanked tonight!" Parker smirked.

"Hell no...." Unknown muttered, looking into the distance.

"...are they....doing what I think they're doing...?" Legacy asked, straining his vision.

"...well now..." Zeni raised an eyebrow as she swapped shoulders on the steamroller. "If my vision doesn't deceive me, I believe those people are doing the jive..."

"...well, they're doing a mambo now..." Parker said, watching as the row of enemy soldiers moved their bodies about in perfect synchronization.

"Well, we don't want to miss getting out on the dance floor either, do we?!" Zeni grinned, getting off to a running start before throwing the steamroller into the air. After another short sprint she leapt up after it and landed neatly on its front, taking up a wayfarrer pose, before shouting "ZA WARUDO! ORAAAAAAAAAA!"

"W-What's up with t-those p-people?!" A marine stammered from behind his sandbag cover at the Hinata Sou's defense line. "Th-That guy just had a pillow fight using a steamroller..."

"That was a girl..." Corrected another marine beside him.

"And those other people! They didn't as much as flinch when that steamroller landed in front of their noses!" Another marine pointed out, shaken to the core. "What sort of nervous disorder are they suffering from?!"

"They are TFFers." Master Chief said from behind them. "Enough said. Pack up, men. We're clearing out. The evacuation needs an escort."
"Attack penguins!?"

"Indeed!" LL said as gradiously as possible. "Military-trained penguins riding rocket-launcher equipt polar bears!"

"NO!" a random girl cried in shock.

"Oh yes! And it only gets worse! Because they're only the distractions before they bring in the flamethrower weilding dinosaurs and kamikaze bomber orcs!"

The captain shivered. "I never would have guessed that you people had such monsters at your disposal." She stood up and placed her hands on LL's shoulders. "Well done, L-sama. Without this information from you we would have surely fallen into their trap. Now we can prepare ourselves before-"
"BWAHAHAHAHAH!"

"THIS IS NOT THE LEAST BIT FUNNY!" Uryu bellowed as he unwantingly juked and jived to an unheard beat.

Nikolaus held his sides, trying to regain his composure at the sight before him. LL, being flanked by Xaosite, Tohno, Ichigo, Uryu and half a platoon of Yaoists, all of whom looked like the groups of Undead that he had helped battle earlier, were doing a very odd rendition of Micheal Jackson's Thriller dance among the wreckage of the destroyed airship.

"Well, at least it wasn't the macarena," he chuckled. Louder, he shouted to them. "Are you all okay?"

"Don't just stand there, damnit!" Ichigo shouted in between heel spins. "Do something?"

"What am I supposed to do?" Nikolaus demanded, suppressing another giggle.

"This is not dignified of someone of my holy position!" Xaosite said as he slid to the side, shrugging his shoulders.

"But it is...invigorating, isn't it sir?" Tohno replied, mimicking her master.

"Girly-man!" LL chanted, putting as much feeling as he could into his pelvic thrusts. "Girly-man-man-man-man-man!"

And everyone who was not trapped in the dance did faceplant hard.
"Zero... I'm thcared..."

"Now Nel, it's perfectly safe down here. Besides, we have Lancers."

"And that where your wrong boy. You handled my minions pretty well, but they're nothing compared to my skills!"

Zero switched to his Stickblade, already taking a defensive position by Nel.

"Show yourself!"

"From the shadows, he emerges, the mighty warrior who man and woman desire, the white haired Adonis, Jiraiya, the Toad Sage strikes down his enemies with a righteous blow!"

"What?!! You're with the fangirls?!"

"They have shown me the true path of love! Now surrender and join us, or be destroyed!!!"

"Damn, they fucked you up... I guess I only have one option..."

"And what's that boy?"

"..."

"Well?" Jiraiya demanded, charginga Rasengan in his hand.

"HASTE!!!"

"You think a little speed will save you?!"

"RUNAWAYREALLYFAST!!!"

The corrupted Jiraiya stared at the now empty space, before giving chase.

"SHIT! SHIT!! SHIT!!!"

"FASTER ZERO!!! FASTER!!!"
A sudden heavy rumbling in the ground knocked the group off their feet, causing them to all to topple over.

"Uuuhhh..." The Xellos-lookalike proved the more proactive as he spun away quickly.

Zeni, meanwhile, had the bad luck of having been a little more disoriented.

"Umm... I think you should..." Tohno began....a little too late, unfortunately...

"Wha...?" Zeni was rather rudely cut off by a rather large wheel. It was, in fact, about 20 meters high in diameter and that was definitely a lot of wheel to get trodden on by.

The group stared open-mouthed as ten such wheels rolled over the patch of ground where Zeni's earthly presence could only be described in past tense.

The wheels all screeched to an abrupt halt as a figure shouted from the huge tank above to which the 10 pairs of wheels were attached to. "Hey, you're with the Hinata resistance, right?!"

"....we are...?" Xaosite asked. "Well, I suppose we are, for now."

"Has anyone seen Zeni?!" The voice shouted.

"She was...sort of there..." Tohno said, pointing at the patch in the turbo tank's wheel tracks which could only be described as the late Zeni's shallow grave.

"What? Really?" The voice asked, as the turbo tank shifted gears and reversed....right over said spot.

...10 big, rugged, and definitely heavy wheels passed over again...

"Zeni, this is no time to be lying about in the dirt!" The voice called out again. "We got a little lost as Yuki had to fight off that Jiraiya person who we accidentally crashed into in the tunnels! We need you to come with us!"

"....Taking all that has happened into consideration, I think you've pretty much killed her." Xaosite said.

"She's dead." Tohno nodded in agreement.

"Buried." Ishida said, pushing his glasses up his nose.

"What? But there's no soul..." Ichigo looked around, straining his eyes for any signs of the telltale soul. However mangled it may look, it should still give off some spirit energy.

"....is it just me or does everyone wish me dead today...?" A voice asked.

"...I stabbed her earlier today, you know?" LL said proudly to everyone present. "In the heart too."

A figure sat up from the dirt tracks, gently rubbing her head as she slowly raised into a standing position, each and every movement implying death and destruction to the doomed drivers of the Turbo Tank.

"Hurry up, Zeni! We haven't got all day!" The impatient voice shouted from above.

"Hold on, Haruhi. Let me find my humanity...ah, there, urge to kill in the most painful way imaginable mitigated..." Zeni sighed before looking up. "I thought I sent you people off down the tunnels."
Below him the ground was moving so fast it was a continuous black blur. Okaay....

Behind him was solid metal. Okaaaaaay....

Beside him were the rims of two gigantic 20m tall wheels that were tearing up dirt and dust with much vicious efficiency. Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.....

"I wonder when they'll realize I'm missing..." Zero asked himself as he stood on a narrow metal ledge in front of the leading turbo tank. Behind him was a human-shaped dent that he had prised himself out of earlier. Hopefully the owner wouldn't press charges. Because he knew he will. He was, by all definitions, a pedestrian, after all.

"....Oh? Where's Nel?" Zero looked around, realizing the lack of lisp. "...oooops..."

"Huff...huff..." A pair of hands appeared on the edge of the ledge.

"I'm saved!" Zero and the head that appeared both shouted in joy.

And then there was silence...

"Hi, I'm Zero. I thought I was being saved." Zero introduced himself.

"Hi, I'm Twin Blade. Likewise." Twin Blade nodded in greeting.

.....and then there was more silence....
Looking around, Locke decided on one thing. 'The next time I hear that Zeni's in town, I'm buying myself a WarShip and sitting everything out when I'm in orbit.'

"The Third Child has been compromised. Take him down."

'...I'm really going to get that WarShip the next time.' Sighing, Locke opened the comm. "Copy that DAA, just slow it down enough so I shot its head or legs."
Thankfully it was a big buggy. Unfortunately, it wasn't big enough.

"Get out of my face!" Zeni shouted, shoving Epsilon aside as she gasped for air while leaning out to look up at the 'Bishonen Angel'. Thanks to some friendly fire from one of the enemy battlecruisers and some help from a friendly Epyon, the charged up yaoi cannon shot had missed.

A second shot from the yaoi cannon had been skillfully stopped by David's tactical approach to wanton destruction. But now they wondered just how much longer they could postpone the inevitable. Luck didn't last forever, after all.

There was still the yuri cannon shot, and Zeni had a feeling she was going to feel the full brunt of it.

"Why's everyone onboard the buggy?" Twin Blade asked, shifting gears. "...when we've got perfectly good turbo tanks to take the weight? And YOU! Stop playing with the radio!"

"I thought some music would be nice...." Zero shrugged as Hare Hare Yukai played through the buggy's surround sound.

"Not THAT song again?!" Zeni shouted, memories of the forced dancing routine coming back to her.

"Come to think of it, why shove everyone in a buggy, Zeni?" Legacy asked. "Wouldn't that be putting all your eggs in one basket? Wouldn't it be better to spread the cannon fodder distribution?"

"....I'm just cannon fodder, leave me alone..." Kingdark muttered in a corner.

"As for why the buggy when we have turbo tanks, its because turbo tanks don't fly as well." Zeni explained.

"...fly...?" The entire group voiced in unison.

"Yes." Zeni nodded, oblivious to the crazy stares everyone was giving her.

"....this is going to be another dragon ride, isn't it?" Solarman asked.

"....where we face doom and whatnot in the face and everything?" LL asked.

"Pretty much." Zeni nodded. "All mechas, a straight line behind the buggy, if you please." She said into the radio. "Stay with me and with some luck we might make if through this."

"What's your plan, Zeni?" Locke asked over the radio.

"This better not be another one of your kirby plushy ideas." Nikolaus warned.

"Just stay behind me, single file." Zeni replied.

"And how, pray tell, are you going to send a buggy into the air?" Left asked, his huge feline frame pushing the buggy to the limits of its capacity.

"Easy." Zeni said, looking out of the window to make sure their heading was correct. "Rev up, man. My grandmother drives better than this, and she's 100 thousand years old."

"We're already at max speed. Unless you throw something out, I doubt we can get any more speed out of this thing!" Twin Blade protested.

"Throw something out....?" Zeni asked, a malicious grin creeping across her face as she surveyed the group gathered in the buggy.

"You're going to need a hockey nut up there." Legacy said, noticing the glint in Zeni's eyes. It didn't take a psychic to see what exactly she was thinking.

"I'm light. I won't make much of a difference to the overall weight." Solarman said.

"I've been dieting to get into a good enough shape to cosplay Xellos-sama." LL said. "So stop looking at me like that."

"Arjani are light." Left said. "I look big, but I'm very light, I assure you." He said, rather worriedly. After all, this little girl managed to swing a steamroller around a battlefield.

Everyone else endeavoured to be as inconspicuous as possible in an attempt to avoid catching Zeni's attention.

"...what about you?" Zeni asked, turning to Twin Blade. "How much do you weight?"

"I'm the frickin' driver, don't you realize that?!" Twin Blade snapped.

Ooooh....the rest of the group, who knew Zeni well enough by now, winced inwardly.

"Oh well..." Zeni shrugged. "I guess I'm going to need all the cannon fodder I can get." She smiled at the buggy's occupants as she raised one hand outside the buggy. "Hang on to something and don't talk. You don't want to bite your tongue."

"Wait, what're you going to..." Twin Blade asked.

...he never got to finish his sentence...

With a blast of light from Zeni's hand the ground in front of the buggy burst upwards into an incline, carrying the buggy upwards with it, before launching the buggy up into the air, straight towards the bridge of a land Battlecruiser in front of them.

"....I said 'teleport'..." Zero muttered as everyone's stomachs dropped in the zero-g moment as they arched up through the sky.

The mechas followed behind them, all flying up in rapid succession. The ramp had compensated for each of their weights, causing them all to follow the exact same trajectory.

"Wait, Zeni..." Legacy began. "If they're all on the same trajectory then wouldn't they crash into us and each other...?"

"Why, yes." Zeni said, seemingly rather surprised that Legacy had brought it up, as if it was obvious to anyone sane (this is, Zeni is using her own standard of 'sanity' which is by using herself as a standard for 'sane')

'No, Zeni, we're not crazy...at least, we're a different sort of crazy from you. You're crazy insane.' everyone thought simultaneously.

"....no, this isn't like the dragon. This time, we're going to really die." Solarman sighed.

CRASH...

ZZZZZZZZZ

Seeyah was feeling triumphant. Sure, she had lost control of her battlecruiser for a moment there, but now she held the intruder captive. "You're not getting away that easy, you jerk! If I'm going down, so are you!" she spat out.

"Damn, I wasn't paying enough attention." Xaosite groaned to himself. "I should have seen this coming. She had a name."

"Now we'll see who has the last laugh..." Seeyah smiled down at her helpless captive. Hah! The admiral was wrong to doubt her. She was wrong about everything. They'll see, after this battle, SHE'LL be admiral. It was her victory! It was her...

...buggy...?

"You know what I like about you?" Xaosite asked coyly. "You're tall."

CRASH...

And thus Seeyah, gallant captain of the Yaoi Messiah, dissapeared under 5 tons of rugged steel and nervous insanity.

"Everyone out of the car!" Zeni shouted cheerfully, leaping out easily. Everyone else strained and pushed against one another, all rushing to get out before the mechas arrive.

"Ugh...this isn't over yet...." Seeyah muttered, pulling herself slowly out from beneath the buggy's twisted metal. "You will regret....uuhh...regret....uhh...yeah..." Her tirade bubbled down to a mumble as she saw a number of mechas come up behind the buggy on a direct collision course.

"....glory be to the grandmaster fan..."

CRASH! SPLINTER! TWIST! GROAN-OF-TWISTED METAL! BANG! BOOM! SMASH! CLINK...TINK...TINK....PLINK...

And thus Seeyah, gallant captain of the Yaoi Messiah, dissapeared under 40 more tons of rugged steel and nervous insanity.
L pushed himself to his hands and feet, breathing heavily. That beam had hit him!

Oh shit oh shit oh shit- Wait! Maybe it had been the Yuri cannon. Maybe...

"Damn, never realized that Zero had such a nice a-OH MY GOD NO!!"

He was up and running in small circles, frantically waving his arms around and shrieking histerically. "Nononononono whadoIdowhadoIdowhadoIdo?!"

He stopped dead, trying to keep his head in place. Okay, he's was slowly Yaoifying, but so far he was still interested in women too, so he wasn't completely done for yet. Okay then, think? What can I do about this?

...Hadn't Zero said something about the Yaoists turning back to normal after having sex? Or...thinking they'd had sex, anyway? Then that meant...He NEEDED to find a woman! FAST!
---------

"Why don't you just give it up already?"

"You'll have to kill me first! And in case it doesn't register, I CAN'T DIE!"

The vampiric twins were grappling fiercely within the cockpit of the Bishonen Angel; scratching, hair pulling, spell blasting, biting, whatever they could do to gain the upper hand over the other.

"Come on!" Eterna shouted, trying to kick Zeni off of her. "You'll like it if you just give it a try!"

Before Zeni could fire off another retort, LL appeared directly in between them, effectivly sitting on Eterna's lap and causing both of them to freeze in their actions. Zeni stared at him, not sure if she was more thrown off by him suddenly appearing right in front of her, or by the fact that he wasn't grinning his psychotic grin.

Now he just looked psychotic.

LL took stock of the situation. Finding himself in this predicament was still good, and was keeping the progressing yaoiness to a minimum. But it wouldn't be enough. He grabbed Zeni by the shoulders.

"Have sex with me, Zeni-chan!"

CRASH!

A seething Zeni watched through the new hole in the mech that LL had just been sent through, waiting until he vanished into the horizon before settling down and returning her attention to her sister.

She turned her head back, and nearly freaked when she saw LL right between her and her sister again, now facing Eterna.

"What about you, Eterna-chan?" he pleaded. "You'll have sex with me, won't you?"

Scowling, Eterna held a glowing hand to his face, blasting him back out of the hole with as much power as she could muster.

"You see?" she asked Zeni. "That's why I don't like heteros. Nothing but sex at the most inappropriate times."

"You're one to talk! And if you hadn't fired that damn yaoi cannon at him maybe he wouldn't-"

"Okay fine! At the very least, can you two have sex with each other so I can watch?"

Both sisters blanched, turning back to the hole, where a smoldering LL stood, looking desperate enough to murder something.

"How are you still alive?" Eterna demanded.

"Please!" LL continued. "Catfight naked? Make out a little? Anything?"

"We're in the middle of something here, LL!" Zeni shouted. "Go cure yourself with someone else!"

Eterna smirked. "Oh, don't be such a prude, Zeni-chan. Having an audience can be fun, you know?"

"YOU SHUT UP!" Zeni yelled again, aiming another punch at Eterna's face.

LL whimpered. Watching two girls catfight was becoming less and less of a turn on by the second. But the sisters were ignoring him now, there was no cure to be found here.
"I have a pressing urge to be intimate with a member of my own gender." Yuki observed. "My organic interface is failing to block this urge...and the data overloads from my interface are currently corrupting my core data."

Epsilon could only manage to weakly utter "Help...". His mental processes was breaking down as his core data was slowly being eaten up by the malignant data discharge from his organic interface. 'Where's the help DITE promised?!' He thought desperately.

Up in the dark sky above him something exploded.

"....fireworks..." Epsilon mumbled as the bright lances of light lit up his eyes. Well, it was something nice to see before the rest of his sanity went.

"Is that a loli I see flying out of that bit of fireworks?" DITE agent Ryoko Asakura asked, shielding her eyes as she looked up at the sky.

"R-Ryoko..." Epsilon mumbled weakly.

"Agent Epsilon. Yes, I know what you're going to ask." Ryoko smiled her usual benign smile. "Why am I here, correct?"

Epsilon shook his head weakly. Ryoko ignored it. "Well, I'm here because I've been summoned." She said. "What? what's that look for?" She asked, watching as Epsilon's face, as weak as his body was, managed to contort itself into one of combined disgust and incredulity. "No, silly, I'm not going to be your 'partner'. I'm here to deliver her. Say hello to your new master." She said, beckoning someone over.

....Epsilon's eyes widened, and for a moment the yaoification spell froze in its tracks. Before him was the girl of his dreams...the one girl he'd stay straight any day for. What little of him was still straight started fighting back tooth and nail with a vengeance, every hetero fibre in his body fighting for supremacy for the sake of this girl, his DREAM GIRL.

"You like...?" Ryoko grinned. "Heh, I knew you would. Now, let's see..." She consulted a notepad. "A few more deliveries to some of the people still in the ship and....hmmm? to those two as well...? Well, I can see DITE can still manage jokes." She grinned. "As much as I'd like to stay and watch...." She said, watching the now hyperventilating Epsilon with a strange sort of fascination. "I think these deliveries and all subsequent explanations will take some time. So good luck, Agent Epsilon." She nodded at Epsilon. "...in more ways than one..." She added, with a rather evil grin.

"Uuh...what's wrong, Yuki?" Ryoko asked, noticing the goosebumps the rather intense glare from Yuki was giving her. "Wh-What are you looking at me like that for?" She asked, suddenly feeling an uncomfortable atmosphere settle over the scene.

"...do want..." Yuki said quietly, while watching Ryoko intently.

"N-No, y-you can't be...." Ryoko stammered, backing away as Yuki started to slowly step towards her, her upper body leaning forwards like a zombie attracted to a magnet. "Y-YUKI!"
The Bishonen Angel began rocking back and forth, reminiscent of a rockin' bronco. Xaosite, who had the rather interesting fortune of landing atop it (ironic, as he is the God of dice after all), was now whiping about a cowboy hat (God of Dice knows where he got it) and shouting 'YIPPE-KAY-YAY!'. A dice orbiting his head was somehow playing Kenny Loggins' 'Danger Zone' to add a bit of atmosphere.

"Wow, steady...s-steady...!" Xaosite began to worry a little as the rocking became even more frantic. Shafts of bright lights lanced out of the holes that were testimonies to LL's haphazard departures from the mech. "Uh...G-Good horsy, steady , w-whoah..."

Large bumps started to appear in the metal-work, as if the cockpit was a giant popcorn bag popping extra-butter popcorn. Some burst open, discharging a beam or two of magic blasts.

Obviously, this was one mecha that was quickly becoming too volatile to ride. Xaosite realized this. "Uhh...TOHNO!"

'Fireworks' was the only term to describe what happened next...well, at least without getting too graphic...
"Onii-chan?"

He gave a shaky smile to his buffer, a small red-eyed girl dressed in white with a cute bow tied at the back of her white hair. "Y-yes, Len-chan?"

"What are those two ladies doing?"

He looked over to where she was pointing and promptly got his 'brotherly instincts' into overdrive. "OI!! Don't do that type of stuff in front of the kids!! You hear me, Agent Yuki?! Agent Ryoko?!"

"It's not like I want to do this at....... KYYAAAHHH!!!"

Eterna would have been drooling at the sight... if not for her attention being focused on the other cute little buffer delivered from the DITE.
The small girl tackled the yaoifying captain, much to his chagrin.

"Well, it's good to see you're alright Nel. I was worried for awhile. At least now I can go peacefully..."

"Zero?!"

"The yaoi cannon went off awhile ago, and we got hit. It's only a mater of time now..." Zero got so caught up in his tragic monologue (a side effect of the cannon) that he didn't notice one of the freed prisoners lean down and whisper something in Nel's ear.

"I'LL SAVE YOU ZERO!!!"

"What!?"

Before he could react, Nel had transformed into her adult form, and began to forcefully return him to normal.

"MOTHER OF GOD!!! MY PELVIS!!! MY PRECIOUS PELVIS!!!" Zero screamed, and Nel's super powered efforts took their toll.

"You know, if he was a normal guy, he'd probably be dead by now..."

"What's your point?"

"I call dibs for next."

"It's clear he'll need medical attention after this, so it's probably best that I go next."

"Like Hell!!!"

The freed prisoners and a few of the crew argued about the details, while Nel continued to "cure" Zero. The small part of his mind not consumed by pain wondering if being gay would have been that bad...
 

parker

Well-Known Member
#4
I duck as Legacy took a swing at me and retaliate with a fist to his stomach and then a stron right cross to his face. He steadied himself and swung at me with his now flaming hockey stick, it hit home in my chest and tore threw with ease.Fuck that hurt. I fell to the ground and stoped breathing, the product of having a flaming peice of wood shoved through my lungs. I could still see though and hear, and I saw his happy ass look.

He thought I was dead I had relised, and I was, but he thought that I hadn't been that way since before I started this fight. Well joke's on him. When he wasn't looking I snapped off part of the stick and swung it at Legacy's right leg, shattering his kneecap.

I stood up and slammed the part of his stick that I was still holding across his head, then raised my leg and kicked him across the room near the mecha sized hole in the wall. I threw what was left of my make shift weapon at Legacy's back with enough force to send him over the edge. I smiled as I heard his bone snap from his landing. That sounded like his neck, and oh was that his spine? Eather way He was gone.
 

Epsilon

Well-Known Member
#5
"Ummm....ummm...Well, happy Halloween!" Zeni said, passing on the rather ominous looking artifact to DAA whose hands reached out purely by reflex to catch the object.

Regretting and cursing biology for coming up with reflex arcs, he looked around at Epsilon. "Merry Christmas." He said, pushing the object into Epsilon's hands.

Epsilon looked about before noticing the incapacitated Seta on the floor. "Well, that makes it Happy Hanukkah for you." He said, shoving the artifact into Seta's unconscious form.

The three ran and ducked behind the first convenient shelter they could find - Mick's bike.

"What the he~" Mick began, looking down at the three cowering behind his bike. He never got to finish the sentence.
The one that really sticks out in my mind...
 
#6
"There is nothing you can do... I AM INVINCIBLE!" said the GMF before cackling wildly.

*BONG!*

The GMF stopped cackling as the thunder roared even louder and the temperature of the outside seemed to drop even further.

*BONG!*

Slowly, a thick fog began to emerge from the horizon, creating an even more eerie feeling. Both Zeni and Eterna gasped in shock as to how this came to be. However, a low, soft organ chord began to increase in volume.

*BONG!*

A chorus, made of 100 strong and filled with both forced yaoi and faithful TFF began singing a chant... a chant that would make even the strongest of fighters shiver if only briefly.

*BONG!*

A shadowy figure began to walk amongst the fog, slowly, methodically as a phantom orchestra began to crescendo with the Organ.

*BONG!*

The combined musicians reached their loudest point, creating an even more fear-inspiring atmosphere.

Finally, a flash of lightning filled the area as I am revealed in my black leather tunic and tights form, finally ready to do battle with the GMF. At the same time, the organ and orchestra began playing the classic funeral dirge as I walked slowly, without blinking nor showing emotion. My hair as black as the midnight sky, my eyes as cold as the death that awaits.

Slowly, the GMF turns and laughs as I continue waking toward the fight. Zeni looks at me with an antiscipation and a renewed sense of fight. Eterna just watched before I stopped in front of them and turned toward the duo.

I extend my hand to Zeni, who lightly take my hand before I stand her onto her feet. Gazing into her eyes, I closed the distance slowly until I placed my hand on her back and bent her backwards before our lips met in an affectionate kiss. Eterna looked on in distain, possibly due to not having a person of her own, or possibly due to there actually being heterosexual kissing going on right in front of her.

The kiss seemed to last for hours before we parted, in reality it was nearly a minute. I lowered my face toward her ear. "You have fought well, now I must finish her. Do not worry, my queen of the night. There shall be no peace for her tortured soul," I whisper into her right ear before grazing her cheek with another light kiss, sending a shiver down her spine.

Finally, I stand Zeni back up before turning to face the GMF with my head hung low before slowly lifting my head, and showing her the TRUE face of death. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as the thunder rolled as loud as ever. Today would be the day that this tortured soul would Rest... in.... peace...
That is my personal fave...
 

Epsilon

Well-Known Member
#7
Unknown-common-827 said:
"There is nothing you can do... I AM INVINCIBLE!" said the GMF before cackling wildly.

*BONG!*

The GMF stopped cackling as the thunder roared even louder and the temperature of the outside seemed to drop even further.

*BONG!*

Slowly, a thick fog began to emerge from the horizon, creating an even more eerie feeling. Both Zeni and Eterna gasped in shock as to how this came to be. However, a low, soft organ chord began to increase in volume.

*BONG!*

A chorus, made of 100 strong and filled with both forced yaoi and faithful TFF began singing a chant... a chant that would make even the strongest of fighters shiver if only briefly.

*BONG!*

A shadowy figure began to walk amongst the fog, slowly, methodically as a phantom orchestra began to crescendo with the Organ.

*BONG!*

The combined musicians reached their loudest point, creating an even more fear-inspiring atmosphere.

Finally, a flash of lightning filled the area as I am revealed in my black leather tunic and tights form, finally ready to do battle with the GMF. At the same time, the organ and orchestra began playing the classic funeral dirge as I walked slowly, without blinking nor showing emotion. My hair as black as the midnight sky, my eyes as cold as the death that awaits.

Slowly, the GMF turns and laughs as I continue waking toward the fight. Zeni looks at me with an antiscipation and a renewed sense of fight. Eterna just watched before I stopped in front of them and turned toward the duo.

I extend my hand to Zeni, who lightly take my hand before I stand her onto her feet. Gazing into her eyes, I closed the distance slowly until I placed my hand on her back and bent her backwards before our lips met in an affectionate kiss. Eterna looked on in distain, possibly due to not having a person of her own, or possibly due to there actually being heterosexual kissing going on right in front of her.

The kiss seemed to last for hours before we parted, in reality it was nearly a minute. I lowered my face toward her ear. "You have fought well, now I must finish her. Do not worry, my queen of the night. There shall be no peace for her tortured soul," I whisper into her right ear before grazing her cheek with another light kiss, sending a shiver down her spine.

Finally, I stand Zeni back up before turning to face the GMF with my head hung low before slowly lifting my head, and showing her the TRUE face of death. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as the thunder rolled as loud as ever. Today would be the day that this tortured soul would Rest... in.... peace...
That is my personal fave...
Of course it is... :rolleyes:
 
#8
:huh.: What did you expect? My classic Undertaker entrance... who says it can be topped?
 

Legacy|iB

Well-Known Member
#10
...oh, if I ever get a chance to do my 'All-Star/Home opener' entry... :lol:

Personal favourites...I don't know. I have a few, but the one that I remember the most at the moment would be EI's popcorn scene :D
 

locke69

Well-Known Member
#11
[quote="Legacy|]Personal favourites...I don't know. I have a few, but the one that I remember the most at the moment would be EI's popcorn scene :D[/quote]
Same here, and I don't think I can eat popcorn for a while too.
 

Zenithos

Well-Known Member
#12
From Mayhem at TFF, the very first TFFA post -

Two obscure figures rushed in through the front doors into the dark lobby of the infamous TFF headquarters, rumoured nest of insane warlords, drooling /b/tards, and freakish megalomaniacs bent on destroying the world.

ôBut remember AMM, none of the aforementioned freaks are as bad asà.THE ONE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMEDàö Zeni said in cryptic overtones, peering into the darkness, scanning for any crazy fic writers with their keyboards from hell. He proceeded forwards in standard military covert-ops maneuvers û basically stooping, creeping, crawling, and leaping behind cover.


ôHey, itÆs the TFF, and itÆs Christmas night. How come thereÆs nobody around? I was expecting a room full of drunk fic writers showing off their latest spamfics to the tune of The Nightmare Before Christmas.ö AMM said, looking around, strolling calmly through the lobby behind Zeni.


ôThey must be waiting for us down in the dark orifice of the TFF, the CENTRAL DOGMAàö Zeni said, in foreboding tones. ôNotice the note of dramatics, AMM. This is time to be worrying about YOU-KNOW-WHOànot Christmas parties full ofàwaitàI hear footstepsàö Zeni said, stooping into a crouch. He lowered his ears to the ground and listened. ôYesàfootstepsàthe personÆs about 5 foot 6, heÆs a complete idiotàhis shoes are on the wrong wayà.heÆs the kind of person who listens to Noriko Sakai twenty four sevenà.and he hates meàö


ôYou knowàif we were really trying to infiltrate this place, why did we come in through the front door?ö AMM asked.


ôCuz itÆs rude to go in through the back door, idiot. Now shut up. Something evil this way comes.ö Zeni whispered. He crouched behind a convenient watermelon stand and looked over the camo-patterned fruit into the darkness beyond.


ôItÆs only my footsteps echoing around, Zeni-chan.ö AMM sighed.


ôI told you to proceed in the standard by-the-manual covert-op-y way. WerenÆt you listening?ö Zeni asked. ôThose fic writers might be waiting for us, ready to choke us with their mouse chords.ö


ôCovert-op-y wayà.Like this?ö AMM asked, leaping about and crouching in mid-air.


ôà.weÆre playing Mayhem at the TFF, not Counterstrikeàö Zeni sighed.


ôOMGà.U SUXà.UR GAYàKEKEàDUST PLZàö AMM started spouting Counterstrike innuendo.


ôSHUT UP!ö Zeni screamed. ôHuh?ö He looked before him. ôHALT! WHO GOES THERE!ö


ôOhà.itÆs just a humanàö


ôOff course itÆs a human. Would I be worried if it wasnÆt one?ö Zeni asked.
"Akh, DAA, dude, you scared the writer's block out of me!" Zeni shouted, peeking out cautiously from behind the watermelon stand, his covert-op trained eyes systematically picking out his opponents; there's the security guard, his earphones, his mug, his cup of hot choco, his revolver, his torch....

"Oh, don't forget my allergic reaction to coffee." DAA reminded Zeni.

"Ok, AMM, we're screwed. We're outnumbered." Zeni sighed, shrugging.

"I thought I saw DKG back there somewhere....why was he screaming and running like the devil himself was after him?" AMM asked, peering out a window.

"He was screaming something about a Kyhm's forum initiation or something..." Zeni said, eyeing DAA's revolver. He was wondering how well it would fair against his Desert Eagle Auto .45

"Kim? The Korean Fella?" AMM asked.

"All right, what's the idea you two?" Officer DAA asked, raising the torch to Zeni's face. "You two should know better than anyone that it's Christmas eve and all the writers around here would be getting drunk in some local bar, showing off their recent spamfics and such."

The two infiltrator n00bs looked at one another, before staring at officer DAA with inquisitorial gazes.

DAA coughs. "Err...as for me..."
"Hey...is it just me or are those two boxes moving?" EI asked, poiting at the two boxes that were tiptoing across the hall.

"Ah...the old CardBoard Gear Solid trick." BTB said, walking up to one of the boxes.

"Are they gone?" A voice whispered from inside one box, marked 'Yippy Yaoi'.

"I don't know....I think I saw Mary Sue....and she did some really weird stuff...and...and....I think I'm about to go human instrumentality...." Another voice whimpered from the other box, this one marked 'Fragile, Handle with Care'.

"Zeni-chan...." EI called out, "Oh dear sister...."

"AAAAGHHHH!" Zeni-chan exploded from inside the box and rolled across the hall. "H-HOW DID YOU FIND US?!"

"Oh, it's bro and sis." AMM said, coming out from under the other box. "At least it's not the doom legions or David....or....gulp....Mary Sue..."

"Mary Sue?" BTB asked, looking around and finding himself staring into the most beautiful pair of eyes he's ever seen. "Hey, this jinx thing does really work...HEEEGAHHHHHHHHHH! HELP!"
GenocideHeart gave an annoyed look at the newcomers that had somehow stumbled upon his safe haven. There was no peace for him, it seemed...

"Well, what ARE you all doing in my not-so-luxurious-but-suitably-creepy abode? And more importantly, what do you need from my wife, whom I assume you were talking about?" he grumbled.

Ttestagr opened his mouth to answer, only to be cut off by an imperious gesture. "No, no, no, don't say it. There's no way I'm letting myself get any more involved than I already am in this madness of yours. If the world is to burn, let it burn. If stock markets are to crash, let them crash. If the Flames are to lose against the Canucks, so be it. If porn is to disappear from the Internet..."

He paused briefly, an odd look setting across his face, then resumed. "...on second thought, do tell me why you are here. Some things are too evil to be allowed..."
"....And you're saying that....once people read this fanfic....they'll be inspired to never again touch the darker pleasures of the internet?" GH asked.

"Exactly. At least, that's what our intelligence told us." BTB said.

"And....your intelligence is...?" GH asked.

BTB looked over at Zeni and AMM who were conversing in low tones at the other side of the cave by what looked like an electric chair. Gh pointed over at them and gave BTB a questioning look. BTB nodded.

"....then it doesn't count as intelligence. It sounds more like down right stupidity." EI pointed out. "I mean, intelligence in a pair of n00bs? That's unheard of."

Everyone gave her a strange look before realizing how true it was and nodded sagely in agreement.
 

Zenithos

Well-Known Member
#13
This one made me smile like a lunatic all day long....Thanks Epsilon! :lol:

"Pen-Pen! Do your stuff!!"

"WAAARRRRKKKK!!" The alien turned around to see the warm water penguin pop out of the back seat. It then brought up a particularly large item and aimed it at the speeding cars ahead.

"That's not the grappling hook!! That's the rocket launcher!" She was a second too late as the penguin fired a round and caused a huge chunk of the road to explode in front of them. The chunks were arranged to form a poor looking ramp. At the speed Misato was going, it didn't take long for them to go airborne.

"WWWHHHHOOOAAAAA!!!" screamed the duo.

"Onii-chan?"

Epsilon paused in his screaming. "Len-chan?" He turned to his right where his younger sister was in a flying yellow school bus with her class. He could see that the driver is a redhead in a strange dress that had clouds all over it. "What's up?"

"Another one of Frizzle-sensei's field trips. We're going to be studying how clouds form!"

"Ah... have fun then!" Once the school bus took off further into the air, he cleared his throat once before resuming his screaming as the vehicle landed.

"WWWAAAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH!!!!"
There are other really epic posts that I will add later. :p
 

Mick

Well-Known Member
#14
[quote="Legacy|]"Are you ok, Motoko?" Mick asked as he managed to partially remove Motoko's blindfold while still keeping a hand on the bike's handlebars...only to reveal Motoko's diamond-serated-edged glare as she made a somewhat muffled, yet obviously angry sound. "Okaaay...that was a pretty stupid question, I know. Off course you're not ok." Mick sweatdropped big-time. Somehow, he knew him saving Motoko wouldn't put her off from blaming him for having gotten abducted and humiliated in the first place. In fact, perhaps being of the same gender as those who had abducted her would be a enough of a criminal offense in her eyes.

A swirl of flashy sparkles appeared at the edge of his vision, surprising him a little as yet another Chibi-Zen appeared. Chibi-Zen looked from the bound form of Motoko, up to Mick, then back at Motoko, before giving Mick a very levelled look. "....first of all, I didn't know you're into these kinds of things, Mick." She said, coughing lightly, much to Mick's chagrin. Mick was just about to open his mouth to retort when Chib-Zen spoke up again. "Secondly, you're the bravest man I've ever seen, daring to do this to Motoko-chan, and in public too."

Motoko's eyes narrowed on Mick, before Mick hastily hid them behind the blindfold once more, eliciting a muffled shriek from her. "We'll talk later." He said, as he looked behind him just in time to notice Deidara and Sasori aboard Deidara's clay bird, swooping down towards them. "We've got company."[/quote]
Here's one Zeni did that I thought was rather amusing, in spite of the situation.
 
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