Final Fantasy

[H-Man]

Everyone loves 8-Bit Theatre! But I have my own criticisms as to how it works, especially the ending.

I can't exactly make a webcomic, but that's not gonna stop me from plotting it out. As such, enjoy this!​

“Stop pushing!”

“You stop pushing!”

“I told you to stop pushing first!”

“Ugh, you’re all idiots!”

King Francis the Nth was not having the best of days, as he stared at the six… people in front of him. The two guards that were standing to their side, as they were dragged into the throne room atop Castle Cornelia, were beaming in absolute confidence, but he…

“Will someone explain the meaning of this?” he decided to ask, using his most restrained tone. His chancellor had to hold back a scoff, as the king was quite awkward in sounding peaceful. No man in the kingdom was as forceful as he, after all.

“We’ve caught these rowdy trash arguing in the middle of Cornelia Square, Your Majesty! We’ve brought them here for incarceration, judgment, and follow-up execution!” one of the guards declared, just before another did.

“Your Majesty, we’ve found the legendary Warriors of Light! We’ve brought them here so that you may give them your blessing as the heroes who they are!” Once he said this, the other guard glared at him.

“Excuse me? How dare you declare them to be the Warriors of Light?” he asked, drawing the second guard’s attention. “They are nothing but ruffians and buffoons!”

“Ruffians and buffoons who come bearing the four Crystals! What other conclusion can one come upon?”

“Certainly that these are fakes! The real Warriors of Light would never be so uncouth as to come to Cornelia while looking like such trash!”

“And yet the Crystals are the exact shape and size as the ones from the prophecies! We cannot ignore such facts!”

If the king’s mood was not good, it worsened as his guards insisted in debating their point right in front of him, without even giving him a chance to speak. The chancellor could only barely hide a smirk. Certainly this proved the failure of the myth that was the monarchic rule.

“Is this true?” the monarch asked the six strangers, who looked rather bruised overall. “Do you come bearing the four Crystals?”

‘If by ‘bearing’ you mean those things appeared in front of us during the brawl, then yeah,’ thought one of them, a young man clad in green clothes, a bandanna keeping his brown hair tied together. Of course, none of them could actually tell this, given how they were currently arrested and, based on the first guard’s words, going to be executed the second this was revealed.

“Yes, Your Majesty. The Crystals belong to us,” said another, a brown-haired young man with an unique set of red armor, wild hair hiding his broken helmet. “We are the Light Warriors ”

“ Warriors of Light ” whispered the person to his left side, another young man with a very large white cloak covering most of his body. The armored youth glared back but said nothing to him.

“ of Light and we are here to fulfill the prophecies!” He might’ve sounded grandiose, but the mood was cut by his immediate response. “So, could you tell us more about them, or…?”

“Can you prove these are the correct Crystals?” the king asked the guard who was so confident in this, and he nodded.

“Of course! It’s quite simple!” he declared, showing four dull, colored crystals that were as big as his head and neck combined. It was already amazing how he could hold them in his hands, despite the size and implied weight.

Then he threw them at the ground.

Despite the impact being so severe that it would have broken bones, the crystals did not shatter or even break apart. He lifted one of them again. “See? Not even a crack!”

“You fool!” The first guard knocked him on the head as hard as he could, glaring at him. “What would you have done if they had broken? You’d have to clean the entire room by hand!”

“But it was going to work!”

“But what if it didn’t?”

“It wouldn’t fail!”

“ENOUGH!” the king yelled, at that point. The guards immediately fell silent, while he glared at them. The chancellor could barely hold back his scoff once more, while he stared at the scene in amusement. Indeed, this was no kingly behavior at all, more likely to belong to a lout who spent his time at ye local pub. “You have made your point clear. These crystals are certainly legitimate enough, given how they failed to shatter when hitting the ground.” As if to prove his point, the glass of wine that had been placed by his side fell to the floor, shattering in a million tiny pieces and splattering wine all over the chancellor’s tunic.

There was an awkward silence, at first, and the monarch had to take this moment to push away the embarrassment.

“However, there is another issue at hand. The Warriors of Light are four. Yet you are six.” There was an implicit threat in his words. “I find it doubtful that the prophecies would be wrong in the subject.”

“We can explain this,” said the fourth man of their group, a white-haired young man clad in a red cloak and feathered hat. “There’s a perfectly good explanation for this.”

“Go on, then. I am waiting.” To these words, the young man suddenly fell silent, in a rather alarming manner. Looking at the others, the king could see that this was a sentiment shared among them.

If there was a good explanation, it didn’t come.

“Your majesty,” the chancellor said right then, drawing their attention. “It would seem that we have an abundance of Warriors of Light, yes?” The king frowned, as he knew this was just repeating what he had already said. “It would be in our best interests to offer them a test of skill to weed out the true Warriors of Light from their numbers.”

“…what do you speak of, Chancellor Vizeer?” The chancellor almost bit his tongue in his glare, quite displeased at hearing his name spoken up. It was just another reassurance that he was a chancellor and up to no good, as that failure of a king insisted in believing. But he refused to let that get to him, preferring to think of ways to get even with him later.

“Your daughter has gone amiss, correct? Perhaps sending true heroes and charlatans alike in pursuit of her will bring out the true heroes of this group.” He glanced at the distance, wistfully. “Why, it would combine both a punishment and a heroic mission! This is how the Warriors of Light shall be found!”

The king did not like what he heard at all, but the chancellor’s words were quite seductive. He could definitely see the point in them, that was for sure…

“Very well. In lieu of having to explain yourselves, the six of you are now assigned the duty of rescuing my daughter from the evil that has taken her.” The six youths who were standing there, right in front of him, paled as a whole. “Return here with her, alive, or do not return at all!”

There was a very uncomfortable silence, as the sextet looked nervously at each other, after hearing that. The king brought his scepter down, slamming it onto his chancellor’s head in the process. “Leave immediately, or I shall have you all arrested as charlatans and put to chains!”

“WE’RE LEAVING, WE’RE LEAVING!” the youth in green declared, as he pushed the rest of the group out. Once they were out of sight, King Francis the Nth let out a great sigh.

“If this is the best we can arrange to save the world…” he started, a little wistfully, before taking in a deep breath. “…then perhaps we are quite screwed.”