In which Fuu meets The Han
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8637770/5/Atlas
This is now my head canon for Han's personality (sorry The Han)
In which Naruto meets Fuu and The Han
Fuu was bored.
It had been a year since she left Takigakure for the roads, trading a cage for freedom. At fourteen, after years of abuse, insults and cold stares, she decided to screw everybody and leave for a better life. It wasn't as if they tried to restrain her. In fact, in spite of the Bijuu she contained inside her body, they seemed glad to see her gone.
Of course, the fact she was the fifth Jinchuuriki of the Nanabi in the Village's history to lose control over the beast at least once probably helped. They gave up on creating their little walking apocalypse and didn't bat an eyelash when she left through the main gates with a travel bag on her back.
Even her mom didn't come to tell her daughter goodbye.
"Fuck them all," she told herself. If she continued thinking about her former life, she might descend into depression, perhaps turning emo in the process. The fact her travels didn't distract her from her problems didn't seem to help either… How can the outside world be this freaking boring? The other girls just want to marry some nameless loser and the boys think I can't kick their ass 'cause I don't have balls! Some days I regret not being able to let Nana show them who's the biggest baddy on the continent…
And here she was, wandering aimlessly among green fields of grass with an empty stomach, no money, and no idea what to do next. "Perhaps I should go find work in the nearest city… I wonder if they're looking for ninjas to hire…"
With her appearance, she wouldn't need much effort to pass a weird missing-nin. Her tanned skin, green hair, and amber eyes were quite unusual. She was wearing a kunoichi attire composed of a shirt with a fishnet armor underneath and red pants. Her belt was covered with special pockets containing all her weapons.
Before she reached any destination of note however, she stopped. Blinking in some confusion, she put her hands in her pants' pockets and frowned. "Who the hell are you?"
A man was standing still in the middle of the field. He was a giant standing at nearly eight feet tall with strange brown eyes. He was wearing a massive red armor covering his entire body, save for aforementioned eyes, a black shirt and gloves. He was also wearing a ridiculous large rounded hat… and a slashed Iwa-headband.
He was immobile, staring into the distance, like a statue.
"Hey!" Fuu waved her hand at him. "What are you doing?"
"The Han is waiting for a friend," the man replied with a deep tone. "Please do not disturb the Han. The Han likes silence and to be in tune with the cosmos."
Yes, the guy was that weird. Fuu narrowed her eyes. "The Han? What's that bullshit?"
"First person cannot convey the magnificence of the Han," the giant replied. "The Han cannot be limited by I, for the Han… is the Han."
"You're a fucking weirdo."
"Yours words are pitiful howls in the wind compared to the iron will of the Han. Cease to bother him, or the Han will kick your ass with his steel boots."
This grated Fuu's nerves. The fact the guy talked in third person, she could tolerate. To some extent. But being looked down upon always made her go berserk. "Who the hell do you think you are? You think you can beat me? I kicked the butt of a jounin before I graduated as a genin!"
He shouldn't have tried to assassinate the vessel of a mighty Bijuu in her sleep…
"When the Han is going to beat you within an inch of a life, your last words won't be an appeal to the gods… but a thanks for the Han's merciful trashing. And next, the Han shall send you to crash into the moon with his bone-shattering spanking move. So do not test the Han's patience, for the wrath of the Han is limitless fury and unbending fire!"
"Alright, that's enough nutcase!" Fuu snarled. "I'm going to show what the strongest Jinchuuriki in the world can do!"
"The Han is unimpressed, for the Han is the strongest demon vessel in the entire galaxy." He nodded, upon noticing Fuu's surprise. "The Gobi is the Han's sidekick, for the Han is second to no one."
"You're the vessel of the Five Tails?" Fuu's jaw dropped, before she quickly corrected her expression. It was the first time she encountered another demon vessel, and… she had no idea how to react. "I… I see, sorry. I thought you were some haughty jerk."
"The Han accepts your apologies." The man narrowed his eyes at Fuu. "The Han would like to know which demon do you keep at bay, and what is your name."
"The Seven Tails." She grinned warmly, happy to meet someone who shared her situation… even if he was completely nuts. "I'm Fuu."
"The Han is glad to meet you, Fuu. The Han wonders what a mighty kunoichi like you is doing in the Land of Fire, so far from Taki."
Mighty kunoichi? Fuu beamed at the nickname. Finally, someone was recognizing her worth in spite of her gender. "Well, I was traveling after saying 'fuck you' to my village. Long short story, I've got nowhere to go."
"The Han understands. The Han gave the middle finger to Iwa himself when the Tsuchikage did not recognize how awesome the Han had become. If she wishes, Fuu can travel with the Han. He would be glad to have company of a fellow cursed one as he travels across the world."
"Really?" Fuu jumped on her feet. It was the first someone ever proposed her friendship… "But… aren't you waiting for a friend?"
"The Han is waiting for Roshi, container of the Four Tails and drunkard extraordinaire." The giant crossed his arms. "The Han discussed with him through letters, and he finally decided to leave Iwa to travel with the Han at the Han's urging. But the Han is growing impatient and suspicious."
Fuu raised an eyebrow. "Why?"
"The Han has been waiting for four hours. Roshi might be a drunkard, but a late man he isn't. And who would dare make the Han wait?" The giant shrugged. "The Han hopes his friend isn't in trouble."
"Well… maybe he's in a city nearby?" Fuu suggested. "Maybe he's staying in Konoha?"
"Mmm… it is true Roshi is plagued with thirst and may have succumbed to the lure of an open bottle and the scent of fresh sake. Fine, the Han is going to grace the Leaf with his presence." He advanced toward the east. "The Han will shatter their walls as a conqueror and-"
"Dude…" Fuu pointed a finger toward the west. "Konoha is in the opposite direction."
The madman stopped briefly. "The Han knew that," he replied, backtracking. "The Han was just testing your sense of orientation. The Han is proud of you."
Fuu palmed her face and groaned.
It had been a year since she left Takigakure for the roads, trading a cage for freedom. At fourteen, after years of abuse, insults and cold stares, she decided to screw everybody and leave for a better life. It wasn't as if they tried to restrain her. In fact, in spite of the Bijuu she contained inside her body, they seemed glad to see her gone.
Of course, the fact she was the fifth Jinchuuriki of the Nanabi in the Village's history to lose control over the beast at least once probably helped. They gave up on creating their little walking apocalypse and didn't bat an eyelash when she left through the main gates with a travel bag on her back.
Even her mom didn't come to tell her daughter goodbye.
"Fuck them all," she told herself. If she continued thinking about her former life, she might descend into depression, perhaps turning emo in the process. The fact her travels didn't distract her from her problems didn't seem to help either… How can the outside world be this freaking boring? The other girls just want to marry some nameless loser and the boys think I can't kick their ass 'cause I don't have balls! Some days I regret not being able to let Nana show them who's the biggest baddy on the continent…
And here she was, wandering aimlessly among green fields of grass with an empty stomach, no money, and no idea what to do next. "Perhaps I should go find work in the nearest city… I wonder if they're looking for ninjas to hire…"
With her appearance, she wouldn't need much effort to pass a weird missing-nin. Her tanned skin, green hair, and amber eyes were quite unusual. She was wearing a kunoichi attire composed of a shirt with a fishnet armor underneath and red pants. Her belt was covered with special pockets containing all her weapons.
Before she reached any destination of note however, she stopped. Blinking in some confusion, she put her hands in her pants' pockets and frowned. "Who the hell are you?"
A man was standing still in the middle of the field. He was a giant standing at nearly eight feet tall with strange brown eyes. He was wearing a massive red armor covering his entire body, save for aforementioned eyes, a black shirt and gloves. He was also wearing a ridiculous large rounded hat… and a slashed Iwa-headband.
He was immobile, staring into the distance, like a statue.
"Hey!" Fuu waved her hand at him. "What are you doing?"
"The Han is waiting for a friend," the man replied with a deep tone. "Please do not disturb the Han. The Han likes silence and to be in tune with the cosmos."
Yes, the guy was that weird. Fuu narrowed her eyes. "The Han? What's that bullshit?"
"First person cannot convey the magnificence of the Han," the giant replied. "The Han cannot be limited by I, for the Han… is the Han."
"You're a fucking weirdo."
"Yours words are pitiful howls in the wind compared to the iron will of the Han. Cease to bother him, or the Han will kick your ass with his steel boots."
This grated Fuu's nerves. The fact the guy talked in third person, she could tolerate. To some extent. But being looked down upon always made her go berserk. "Who the hell do you think you are? You think you can beat me? I kicked the butt of a jounin before I graduated as a genin!"
He shouldn't have tried to assassinate the vessel of a mighty Bijuu in her sleep…
"When the Han is going to beat you within an inch of a life, your last words won't be an appeal to the gods… but a thanks for the Han's merciful trashing. And next, the Han shall send you to crash into the moon with his bone-shattering spanking move. So do not test the Han's patience, for the wrath of the Han is limitless fury and unbending fire!"
"Alright, that's enough nutcase!" Fuu snarled. "I'm going to show what the strongest Jinchuuriki in the world can do!"
"The Han is unimpressed, for the Han is the strongest demon vessel in the entire galaxy." He nodded, upon noticing Fuu's surprise. "The Gobi is the Han's sidekick, for the Han is second to no one."
"You're the vessel of the Five Tails?" Fuu's jaw dropped, before she quickly corrected her expression. It was the first time she encountered another demon vessel, and… she had no idea how to react. "I… I see, sorry. I thought you were some haughty jerk."
"The Han accepts your apologies." The man narrowed his eyes at Fuu. "The Han would like to know which demon do you keep at bay, and what is your name."
"The Seven Tails." She grinned warmly, happy to meet someone who shared her situation… even if he was completely nuts. "I'm Fuu."
"The Han is glad to meet you, Fuu. The Han wonders what a mighty kunoichi like you is doing in the Land of Fire, so far from Taki."
Mighty kunoichi? Fuu beamed at the nickname. Finally, someone was recognizing her worth in spite of her gender. "Well, I was traveling after saying 'fuck you' to my village. Long short story, I've got nowhere to go."
"The Han understands. The Han gave the middle finger to Iwa himself when the Tsuchikage did not recognize how awesome the Han had become. If she wishes, Fuu can travel with the Han. He would be glad to have company of a fellow cursed one as he travels across the world."
"Really?" Fuu jumped on her feet. It was the first someone ever proposed her friendship… "But… aren't you waiting for a friend?"
"The Han is waiting for Roshi, container of the Four Tails and drunkard extraordinaire." The giant crossed his arms. "The Han discussed with him through letters, and he finally decided to leave Iwa to travel with the Han at the Han's urging. But the Han is growing impatient and suspicious."
Fuu raised an eyebrow. "Why?"
"The Han has been waiting for four hours. Roshi might be a drunkard, but a late man he isn't. And who would dare make the Han wait?" The giant shrugged. "The Han hopes his friend isn't in trouble."
"Well… maybe he's in a city nearby?" Fuu suggested. "Maybe he's staying in Konoha?"
"Mmm… it is true Roshi is plagued with thirst and may have succumbed to the lure of an open bottle and the scent of fresh sake. Fine, the Han is going to grace the Leaf with his presence." He advanced toward the east. "The Han will shatter their walls as a conqueror and-"
"Dude…" Fuu pointed a finger toward the west. "Konoha is in the opposite direction."
The madman stopped briefly. "The Han knew that," he replied, backtracking. "The Han was just testing your sense of orientation. The Han is proud of you."
Fuu palmed her face and groaned.
This is now my head canon for Han's personality (sorry The Han)
In which Naruto meets Fuu and The Han
"I told you," a guard protested to a giant in red armor and a green-haired teen, "I have no idea who you're talking about!"
The giant lowered his head and muttered something to his partner's ears. "Han says it's the one town he could have stopped by," she said.
"He doesn't speak common language?"
The giant whispered once again to the girl's ear. "He does," she explained, "But not to you."
"Would someone explain me what's going on?" Yugao asked, as the guard's jaw dropped in shock.
"They have been pestering me for hours!" The Konoha-nin protested. "It's as if they feed on my annoyance!"
"The Han requires no misery to survive," the giant spoke out loud with a deep, regal voice, "The Han feeds on the fear he inspires. And sometimes the blood of his enemies."
"You're lying," the girl snorted, "I saw you eat noodles when you thought I wasn't looking."
"You dreamed, but the Han does not blame you. Being around the Han for too long can cause awesomeness-induced hallucinations or a pathological desire to worship the ground the Han walks on. Sometimes both."
Alright, why is everyone I meet either a psycho or a weirdo? "Look, the Han… since being around you is harmful," Naruto started off slowly, "Why don't you tell us what do you want so we can resolve this issue nice and quick."
"Naruto-kun," Yugao coughed, "I don't think he's sane-"
"The Han is pleased to meet someone with a brain," the giant cut in. "The Han is looking for a red-haired drunkard who probably assaulted the nearest bar with lava and smoke, perhaps without pants."
"He's looking for a friend," the girl translated. "I'm Fuu, and he's called Han. Please ignore his antics. Preferably by not talking to him."
Naruto pitied her for a second. Being around that guy must be a constant challenge for one's nerves. "I'm Naruto, and the dark beauty here is Yugao." The woman smiled briefly at the compliment. "From what I've got, you're looking for a drunkard."
"Roshi, an old man apparently with an attraction for all things alcoholic. Also likes to smoke with a pipe." Fuu coughed. "Han says he can fly at 5 million miles an hour and shoot a laser beam called Kamehameha from his hands, but I think he's just messing with me."
It's confirmed, the guy is completely out of his gourd. "And what make you think he could have stopped at Konoha?" Naruto asked.
"Han thinks he stopped for a drink, resulting in him missing his meeting with his friend." Fuu shrugged. "Han is worried."
"The Han thinks Roshi might have stopped to meet the Nine Tails' Jinchuuriki," the giant said, locking eyes with Naruto. "Did he approach you?"
The temperature dropped heavily, as both Yugao and Naruto glanced at Han in a mixture of worry and horror. How the hell does he-
"Wait, you're the Kyuubi's container?" Fuu's jaw dropped. "Really?"
"Fear not, we wish you no harm," Han explained, apparently realizing Naruto's expression wasn't the nicest of all. "The Han keeps a dolphin tamed in his belly, and Fu is a green beetle's container."
Yugao stayed still a few seconds. "Alright," she said. "I think the Sandaime will be pretty happy to discuss your problems."
"No pressure though," Naruto promised. "He's nice… well, most of the time."
The giant lowered his head and muttered something to his partner's ears. "Han says it's the one town he could have stopped by," she said.
"He doesn't speak common language?"
The giant whispered once again to the girl's ear. "He does," she explained, "But not to you."
"Would someone explain me what's going on?" Yugao asked, as the guard's jaw dropped in shock.
"They have been pestering me for hours!" The Konoha-nin protested. "It's as if they feed on my annoyance!"
"The Han requires no misery to survive," the giant spoke out loud with a deep, regal voice, "The Han feeds on the fear he inspires. And sometimes the blood of his enemies."
"You're lying," the girl snorted, "I saw you eat noodles when you thought I wasn't looking."
"You dreamed, but the Han does not blame you. Being around the Han for too long can cause awesomeness-induced hallucinations or a pathological desire to worship the ground the Han walks on. Sometimes both."
Alright, why is everyone I meet either a psycho or a weirdo? "Look, the Han… since being around you is harmful," Naruto started off slowly, "Why don't you tell us what do you want so we can resolve this issue nice and quick."
"Naruto-kun," Yugao coughed, "I don't think he's sane-"
"The Han is pleased to meet someone with a brain," the giant cut in. "The Han is looking for a red-haired drunkard who probably assaulted the nearest bar with lava and smoke, perhaps without pants."
"He's looking for a friend," the girl translated. "I'm Fuu, and he's called Han. Please ignore his antics. Preferably by not talking to him."
Naruto pitied her for a second. Being around that guy must be a constant challenge for one's nerves. "I'm Naruto, and the dark beauty here is Yugao." The woman smiled briefly at the compliment. "From what I've got, you're looking for a drunkard."
"Roshi, an old man apparently with an attraction for all things alcoholic. Also likes to smoke with a pipe." Fuu coughed. "Han says he can fly at 5 million miles an hour and shoot a laser beam called Kamehameha from his hands, but I think he's just messing with me."
It's confirmed, the guy is completely out of his gourd. "And what make you think he could have stopped at Konoha?" Naruto asked.
"Han thinks he stopped for a drink, resulting in him missing his meeting with his friend." Fuu shrugged. "Han is worried."
"The Han thinks Roshi might have stopped to meet the Nine Tails' Jinchuuriki," the giant said, locking eyes with Naruto. "Did he approach you?"
The temperature dropped heavily, as both Yugao and Naruto glanced at Han in a mixture of worry and horror. How the hell does he-
"Wait, you're the Kyuubi's container?" Fuu's jaw dropped. "Really?"
"Fear not, we wish you no harm," Han explained, apparently realizing Naruto's expression wasn't the nicest of all. "The Han keeps a dolphin tamed in his belly, and Fu is a green beetle's container."
Yugao stayed still a few seconds. "Alright," she said. "I think the Sandaime will be pretty happy to discuss your problems."
"No pressure though," Naruto promised. "He's nice… well, most of the time."
:ROFL:
