Ranma ½ Funny Quotes

PCHeintz72

The Sentient Fanfic Search Engine mk II
#51
Kernom said:
Does anone have a saved version of Deification? I can no longer find it.
Not needed, use internet archive, his home page is still there, just checked. 3 chapters, side story, and some but not all of the fanart.
 
#52
Well I don't know about Manga Hotaru, but I do know that I would not like to see Hotaru killed/hurt/maimed/having to hear a mean thing said to her by a character that I like and isn't an asshole/etc. Why? Like it has been said above. she's like a tiny little big-eyed puppy that's already decent and never leaves a mess on the carpet; E.A. impossible to hate.

But I love Millenium and Guardian. Serious, it's pretty much the only fic(s) I like with that many important OC's. Snake and Kyle and Asuka and the little nympho, cowardly driver, dumb yet nice female blonde, Seras, and of course the ever awesome alien "dog"...and since Fanon basically made the Sailor Scouts a Ranma Canon thing...the Usagi/Bunny Android is funny enough. The Rei-Vampire makes for a nice bit of good tension with Ranma...and that new awesome Demon-gun...

It's a bit sad to have our Russian Android become a sort of joke after he used to be such a creddible enemie...but then again he is pretty muh the only one that can take a punishment equal to wht Ranma has to take sometmes and actually return later on (what with the rebuilding his mecha-limbs) plus it only demonstrates how much better the DAPC have become. After all, I remember the Ruskie kicking some serious Vampire Ass.

So yeah, Ranma having Zombie urges, that's ok. His survival of the T-virus was hillarious. Overall I laughed. Just don't kick the Hotaru Puppy. In stead, have some bully kid or enemy say something nasty and watch feathers fly as Ranma beats the living shit out of them for her. Oh, and have Snake shoot Mamoru, obviously!
 

PCHeintz72

The Sentient Fanfic Search Engine mk II
#53
But I love Millenium and Guardian. Serious, it's pretty much the only fic(s) I like with that many important OC's.
Hmmm... Good Ranma/Sailor Moon crossover, and OCC's... In no particular order:

'On A Clear Day You Can See Forever' by Mark McKinnon

'The Return' by Josh Temple

'Sailor Jupiter' by Daniel Jess Gibson (No Ranma, but other Nerima characters)

'Relatively Absent' by Togashi Gaijin
 
#54
For example, I have had nothing but compliments every time I write a chapter where Mamoru Chiba gets shot for no good reason. I mean, even Junko forcing herself on Ranma got ONE complaint, but nobody seems to see anything wrong with Tuxedo Mask arbitrarily and randomly eating lead over and over. It boggles my mind; you'd think it would have at least worn thin by now, if nothing else.
Personally, I've been hanging around in the Sailor Moon fandom since '96 and the Mamoru bashing isn't something I can really bother about anymore. Almost every fic writer's done it (it's tiresome how many people hate him)- yours is less extreme than some I've seen and Snake's insanity is just plain funny because he can get away with it. If it were any other character people would probably complain. But Mamoru became a hated character (kinda the Akane of SM), fanon's blown his character out of the water and now people just like to see him suffer.

Also, I must have missed the Junko/Ranma thing 'cause I don't remember it- you can lodge a second complaint for it.
 
#55
wyldeakasha said:
Personally, I've been hanging around in the Sailor Moon fandom since '96 and the Mamoru bashing isn't something I can really bother about anymore. Almost every fic writer's done it (it's tiresome how many people hate him)- yours is less extreme than some I've seen and Snake's insanity is just plain funny because he can get away with it. If it were any other character people would probably complain. But Mamoru became a hated character (kinda the Akane of SM), fanon's blown his character out of the water and now people just like to see him suffer.

Also, I must have missed the Junko/Ranma thing 'cause I don't remember it- you can lodge a second complaint for it.
I don't really think of myself as a Mamoru-basher, the joke just sort of ended up that way. I have no idea why it doesn't come off as relentlessly vicious and gratuitous, but I'm glad.
I'm really, really surprised that anyone at all disliked the Ranma/Junko "thing", but this is what feedback is for.

Anyhow, in the interest of dragging this thread back on topic...
ôJupiter thunder crash!ö

Deftly, Ranma dodged a lightning bolt. All of those spark attacks by GosunkugiÆs summoned æspirit of household appliancesÆ had taught her to feel the chi lines that the bolts followed, or else she would have been fried for sure. Fortunately she was still cloaked, so they hadnÆt seen her change. Well, now the gloves were off. They had asked for it and she wasnÆt in the mood to dish it out properly. But Ranma knew someone who would be delighted to oblige. Anything Goes, right?

Taking a deep breath, she cried out, ôHapposai Happosai Happosai!ö

The old bastard appeared almost instantly. He looked right through the umisenken, confirming a dark suspicion of RanmaÆs.

ôWell hello there, Sweet Ranma-chan! It does this old manÆs heart good to-

Happosai caught sight of the leggy young sailor-suited girls and froze for a long, gaping stare. It was one of his most cherished dreams, come to life before his very eyes. Filled with inexpressible emotion, Happosai shed a single happy tear.

ôSweeeeeeeet-O!ö Happosai launched himself, ignoring his usual target.

Ranma ran, sniggering at the screams and explosions behind her. They probably didnÆt deserve Happosai, but then nobody did. On the other hand the weird violent chicks certainly deserved him more than whatever innocent nonviolent girls the little troll had been molesting earlier.
From Nemo Blank's Chaos Factor, Chapter 1. I love his handling of the SM timeline and characters, treating them more like plot devices than real crossover elements.
 

PCHeintz72

The Sentient Fanfic Search Engine mk II
#56
How about he following:

This sudden decision to train Akane had sparked Nabiki's interest and so as Ranma and Akane set off to the secret training location she advised them that she would be joining them, as a chaperone of course.

The amused glint in Nabiki's eye and the knowing smirk on her face did nothing to alleviate Akane's concerns.

"Golf? Akane muttered incredulously.

"Yup!"

"I don't know anything about golf."

"But I do." Smiled Ranma "I got these books and...."

"Books?!" Akane spluttered.

"Yup. How to Play Golf, Golf for Dummies and World Conquest: A Golfers Guide."

"World Conquest: A Golfers Guide?" asked Nabiki.

"Mmmm yup. By some fella called Temujin."

Akane leant across and whispered out of the side of her mouth at Nabiki "Temujin?"

"Genghis Khan." Nabiki whispered back.

"Oh. Genghis Khan ?!"

"If you ignore all the bits about horses, the bits about beheading people and what they used for golf balls" Ranma looked a little pale "there's lotsa good stuff in it."

Akane and Nabiki did not look convinced, Ranma could tell.

"Look, what is the biggest problem between Akane and her improving her martial arts?"

"Problem?!" Akane narrowed her eyes glaring at Ranma.

"Her temper?" ventured Nabiki.

"TEMPER?!" the glare shifted to Nabiki.

"So" Ranma said nervously "welcome to The Saotome School of Anything Goes Golf!"

"Anything Goes?" Nabiki said raining an eyebrow.

"Well" Ranma smiled in embarrassment "within the rules anyway."

The two girls just looked at him.

"Rules?"

"Doesn't that contradict anything goes?"

"Look, I was thinking" Ranma ignored the snort from Akane and continued "what is golf."

"An excuse to wear funny clothes?"

Nabiki laughed "I think Winston Churchill said it was a good walk ruined."

"No and well maybe. I meant from a martial arts point of view. What do golfers do?"

"Hit a little white ball."

"Yes, but how do they hit it? You see," Ranma smiled hugely "golf is like a kata!"

"How many times have you hit him lately Akane?"

"I'd say once too often."

"Look why do you do katas?" Ranma asked Akane.

"As a warm up before I break bricks."

"OK. But what if I say that you are also warming up your mind, preparing yourself mentally, focusing your mind, the kata is warming up your body, but is also training in discipline. Practicing getting the forms correct, relaxing your mind while also focussing your thoughts."

Akane and Nabiki blinked.

"I think..."

"There's that think word again" snickered Akane.

"If I remember correctly Ranma has been consistently getting better grades than you in class lately Akane."

Akane gave Nabiki a dirty look "Luck."

Ranma ignored Akane and started explaining his thinking to Nabiki "I think that golf may help Akane in focusing better and what she learns here" Ranma gestured at the driving range "will help with her martial arts. In golf you don't just hit the ball as hard as you can there is finesse, judging how hard to hit the ball. Akane needs to learn to control her anger and learn that there is more to life than just hitting things as hard as she can."

"Hey! I'm still here you know."

Ranma continued as if he hadn't heard her "I've been watching Akane's katas and what they do is concentrate her mind on power, possibly this also explains her temper."

"TEMPER!"

Nabiki smiled at Akane's display and urged Ranma to continue.

"Now I saw some golf on the TV the other week and the golf swing isn't all that different from your mallet swing. So with a little practice you should be able to transfer that mallet swing into a pretty good golf swing."

"I don't think this is a good idea." Said Nabiki.

"Do you know how much a professional golfer can make, not to mention a lot of business gets discussed on golf courses, after all most business people play golf, don't they?" Ranma said arching an eyebrow.

"Good idea. Learn lots Akane. Oh, and Ranma, you are going to teach me too aren't you Ranma-baby? Nabiki cooed sweetly fluttering her eyes striking a coy pose.

"Aah sure."

"This is a wood" Ranma announced holding up a golf club.

"But it's made of metal?" queried Akane.

"Yes, but I think the old ones used to be made of wood."

Well, if they're not made of wood anymore why not call them metals."

"Because these are irons." Said Ranma holding up another stick "and it would just be confusing."

"That's an iron? Why is the shaft plastic then?"

"It's not plastic."

"No?"

"No. It's graphite."

"So, that metal and graphite thing is an iron and that metal and graphite thing is a wood?"

"Yes." Replied Ranma consulting his book. "This"he said waving the wood "is a driver and this" he waved the other club about "is a pitcher."

"A picture?"

"Yes a pitcher."

"I think he means pitcher as in thrower, not picture as in hang on the wall Akane." Nabiki interjected.

"I thought I was supposed to hit the ball not throw things."

Ranma blinked, scratched the back of his head, flipped a couple of pages and read a little further. "It's called a pitcher because it pitches the ball up in the air."

"I thought you were supposed to picture the ball up in the air before you hit it." Nabiki smirked to Akane.

"I thought all the clubs were supposed to all hit the ball in the air?" asked Akane.

"Well, yes."

Akane narrowed her eyes and glared at Ranma.

"Akane" Ranma sighed "you drive with this and you pitch with this. All the clubs.."

Akane growled.

Ranma swallowed and continued "All the clubs hit the ball off the ground except for the putter."

"Putter." Akane snarled.

"Uhh, yeah."

"I think you're making this up."

Akane glared across at Nabiki and the owner of the driving range daring them to laugh. Nabiki deciding that things could only get better adopted the policy of `tar baby sit and don't say nothing' and kept a stone face. The driving range owner just moved to a safer distance.

"The woods and some of the longer irons you use for driving, the shorter irons, hey some of them are called wedges!"

"Really!" said Akane dangerously.

"Uh yeah, you use them for pitching."

"I see."

"This is a mashie!"

"A mashie, how wonderful."

Nabiki by this time was backing away as Ranma continued showing clubs to Akane and reading from his book.

"and this one....."

"Let me have a look." Akane said smiling with an evil glint in her eye as she snatched the club from Ranma.

"Oh no." whimpered Ranma his eyes wide.

"Oh yes!" smiled Akane.

"Nice distance" the proprietor of the driving range said to Nabiki as he watched Ranma fly down range.

Nabiki sighed. "This is going to be a long day."

Nabiki strolled over and picked up the book Ranma had dropped as he began his impromptu flight. Looking at the page Ranma had been reading and the club in Akane's hand Nabiki looked up at Akane.

"Hey Akane, guess what?"

"What?"

Smiling at Akane Nabiki held the open book up for Akane to read "I think you just niblicked Ranma."
The above scene was from Chapter 3 of 'Changes' by gromittd.
 

PCHeintz72

The Sentient Fanfic Search Engine mk II
#57
How about the following:

Mrs Yoshikawa sighed, there was no easy way to do this she thought "Good afternoon, I'm Mrs Yoshikawa, martial arts librarian."

Ranma groaned another challenger.

"I'm not here to issue a challenge" she assured the assembled group "I'm here on Nerima Council business."

"Martial art's librarian" asked Nabiki dubious and intrigued.

"You'd be amazed at some of the more unusual martial arts." Mrs Yoshikawa replied seeing a chance to establish her credentials and perhaps ease into the reason for her visit..

Nabiki raised an eyebrow.

"There are many unusual martial arts techniques Nabiki Tendo. For instance martial arts boomerang throwing!"

Nabiki cast a questioning glance at Ranma.

"I studied some of that, it was a long time ago" Ranma shrugged and then grinned "but it'll come back to me."

"Martial arts stand up."

"I think we've already had that." Nabiki replied glaring direly at Ranma.

"What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?" asked Ranma.

"I don't know what do you call a boomerang that won't come back?" asked Kasumi trying to get into the swing of things,

"A stick."

Nabiki's glare never faltered, the strain of the previous week was doing nothing for her sense of humour.

"Martial arts Elvis impersonating."

Nabiki glanced across at Ranma who struck a typical Elvis pose and sang in a very good impersonation of Elvis "Uh huh huh, Uh huh huh."

"Yeah yeah" squealed Kasumi.

"I'm all shook up" Nabiki deadpanned.

"Elvis impersonating?" Akane asked "Who would train.. I mean. Elvis?"

"Come on Pops is a master of Martial Art Elvis Impersonating." Ranma proudly proclaimed and then in a quieter more conspiratorial tone continued "How do you think mom and pops got together?"

"You're mother's an Elvis fan too?" Kasumi gushed.

"Just a yes or no Ranma no `Uh huh huh's' please" Nabiki growled.

"Yeah yeah" grinned Ranma.

"I'm all shook up!" squealed Kasumi

"Martial Arts Elvis Impersonating?" Nabiki pondered briefly "Genma as fat Elvis?"

"Yeah, well when he and mom met he was still gold lame jacket Elvis he told me." Ranma grinned "somewhere upstairs is pop's rhinestone jumpsuit."

"Martial arts double entendres" said Mrs Yoshikawa interrupting.

"I had a girl ask me for a double entendre once" Ranma paused "so I gave her one."

Kasumi giggled, Nabiki looked aghast, Akane looked on in confusion.

"Martial Arts Accountancy."

Nabiki looked at Ranma the question writ large across her face.

"Why do you think my balance is so good?" Ranma said.

"I don't believe it!"

Ranma reached into a conveniently placed sub-space pocket and produced a certificate which he then handed to Nabiki.

"You're a CPA!" shrieked Nabiki "Up until a couple of months ago you barely passed any of your classes and you're a CPA?"

"Well that's not quite true Nabiki-chan."

Akane's eyes would have narrowed at the familiarity but she was still thinking back over the conversation thinking she had missed something.

"I was doing very well in gym class."

Nabiki glared harder.

"Who better to fight with the Tax Office?"

Nabiki glared harder still.

"It can be manly in insurance?" offered Ranma.

"PERVERT" Akane screamed bringing a 5 wood crashing down on Ranma's head.

"Akane! What was that for?" Nabiki asked though she thought Ranma possibly deserved some punishment. She worked hard keeping the books for the household and there was a CPA living under the same roof.

"That double thing' Akane spluttered "you heard him."

"Do you even know what a double entendre is Akane?"

"No" Akane seethed "but it sounds French so it's got to be perverted!"

"This is getting us nowhere" Mrs Yoshikawa interrupted looking down at the semi-conscious Ranma in shock "we have serious matters to discuss."

Ranma shook his head and with some grudging support and a grated "CPA" from Nabiki rose to his feet.

Once Mrs Yoshikawa was certain she had everyone's attention she started her story.

"Neolithic martial arts."

Nabiki glanced at Ranma.

"Umm" Ranma's brow creased in thought `Ah hah. Neolithic Big Wooden Club Strike."

"You have got to be joking!" Nabiki glared at both Ranma and Mrs Yoshikawa.

"Many centuries ago" she paused "in Neolithic times in fact, the then tiny village of Nerima had a problem with martial artists."

"Nothings changed then" commented Nabiki.

"No, but the village elders back then had a plan. A plan that would solve the problem of martial artists clubbing people at random" she paused a moment. "They consulted a local shaman who formulated the street plan for Nerima that we have today. The purpose of which is to funnel martial artists into open parkland and away from populated areas."

Ranma and the others stared in disbelief at the martial arts librarian.

"How did the plan, design, uh whatever last so long?" asked Ranma.

"Martial arts librarianship is an extremely old art. For as long as there had been martial arts, there have been martial arts librarians. Storing the scrolls, copying scrolls, recording the important martial arts information of the day. The street plan for Nerima was of course, stored by an ancient martial arts librarian and as Nerima grew so did the Nerima Martial Arts Library and a martial arts librarian has been on retainer to the city for as long as Nerima has existed.

"Which brings me to why I'm here. Because the street plan was devised in Neolithic times, it is most effective in respect to Neolithic martial artists. But.."

"But?" Akane, Kasumi, Nabiki and Ranma echoed.

"The natives or in this case the Neolithic martial artists are restless."

"Why?" Soun asked grateful for a chance to contribute to the conversation.

"Well," Mrs Yoshokawa paused to look at Akane "it's all Akane Tendo's fault."

"Mine!" shrieked Akane.

"Nice going Sis" smirked Nabiki.

"How?" Soun asked, now on a roll.

"Neolithic martial artists have very quaint marriage customs."

"Well?" Soun prompted, almost beside himself with glee at the now major, or so he thought, part he was playing in the conversation.

"The Neolithic martial arts marriage ceremony consists solely of the female clubbing the male over the head."

Nabiki and Kasumi snickered softly mindless of Akane's glare.

"They actually have to use a club?" Ranma asked nervously.

"Not absolutely necessary, but for reasons of tradition it is preferred." Mrs Yoshikawa smiled at Ranma "I wouldn't be concerned if I were you about any marriage between yourself and a Neolithic martial artist, they are quite knowledgeable about Jusenkyo curses so if you did club a Neolithic martial artist it wouldn't count."

Ranma breathed a sigh of relief, secure in the knowledge he had avoided Neolithic matrimony.

"So what's it got to do with me?" Akane prompted stealing Soun's thunder much to his disappointment.

"So, thirty-two Neolithic martial artists have submitted papers to the Nerima Council advising of their marriage to one Akane Tendo."

"Thirty-two husbands!" Akane shrieked.

"Oh my" gasped Kasumi.

"Is that legal?" asked Nabiki.

"Perfectly" replied Mrs Yoshikawa "special dispensation for Neolithic Martial Arts marriages it's written into the by-laws of Nerima."

"Oh Akane" Kasumi whispered "how did you find the time?"

Akane glared angrily at Kasumi who remained oblivious.

"And the energy" continued Kasumi wide-eyed.

"But isn't bigamy or polygamy in this case illegal." Nabiki asked.

"You could go to jail" Kasumi's eyes widened further in shock at the thought of her little sister cruelly incarcerated.

"Special dispensation in Nerima" Mrs Yoshikawa explained again.

"Oh my" continued Kasumi still stuck on the thought of her sister going to jail and performed some rapid mental calculations. "Even with one conjugal visit a day, one husband would miss out on 4 months, another three wouldn't get a look in during February and there's just not enough days in any month for one poor man."
The above scene was from Chapter 9 of 'Changes' by gromittd.
 
#58
á á? The crazy laughing guy's sign seemed to sum the situation up
nicely.á He was wearing a sandwich board style sign, something I don't
think I'd ever seen outside of a movie.
á á? THE GODS HAVE FORSAKEN US! the front declared in big,
sloppy red letters.á The back, though, the back really cut to the crux of
things.
á á? THE END, it declared in that same crazy, all-caps red paint, IS
NIGH.
á á? Yeah.á No freaking kidding.
á á? "Hey, buddy!" I shouted.á "You may wanna not stand there!"
á á? "These are the end times!" Crazy Laughing Guy informed me
with the sort of dangerous good cheer that only really crazy people seem
able to carry off.
á á? "Seriously!" I shot back as I tried to watch the looney and the
monster at the same time.á "How do you feel about the other side of the
street?á The end could be nigh over there ..."
á á? Crazy Laughing Guy brayed as though that was the funniest
thing he had heard in his many, apparently very colourful, years.á The
beast took that as a signal that now would be a good time to charge, and
once again I found myself staring down the maw of an enraged creature
bigger than a city bus.
á á? This was one of the new ones, the critters that nobody had seen
until our very recent problems.á The locals had quickly learned that the
scales on these things didn't just shimmer with a faint rainbow effect; they
were also nearly impervious to magical attack.
á á? Fortunately, I had also quickly learned that they afforded no
particular protection against chi attacks.á Score one for the martial artists
of the world, boo-ya.á I felt my chi swirl and pool, gathering it as the
long-necked wonder bore down on me with the sort of single-mindedness
that I'd come to associate with these things.á They were ugly and hard to
kill, but man, when they got you in their sights they damn well stayed
focused.
á á? It was less than twenty feet away when I unloaded my chi attack,
hitting the thing square on with everything I had.á Its alarmed screech
was music to my ears as my blast hammered it, stopping it dead in its
tracks for a moment before throwing it back the way it had come.á Its
bulk actually rolled several times before coming to rest in an untidy heap
in the middle of the roadway, and after a few seconds I was sure it wasn't
getting back up.
á á? I'd become something of an expert in the past few days.
á á? "Nice shooting," came a voice from behind and above.á I glanced
back, brushing dark strands of hair out of my face.
á á? "Thanks, V.á How'd you do?"
á á? "Kicked ass," she told me, leaping off the traffic light and landing
neatly beside me.á "As usual.á Have you seen ... hey, nice sign!"
á á? "Death comes for all.á ALL!" Crazy Laughing Guy informed her
from his garbage-strewn doorway.á Then he started cackling again.
á á? "Crazy Laughing Guy, V.á V, Crazy Laughing Guy."
á á? "Nice to meet you," V said politely.á He found that positively
hilarious.á That was Crazy Laughing Guy for you, he always found the
humour in any situation.á At least, he had in the three minutes or so that
we'd been acquainted.
á á? "Show her the other side!" I called, then turned to V.á "You'll
love this."
á á? "Despair, fools!á All is lost!" CLG announced, turning
obediently.á V read the back of the sign and started to laugh.á CLG joined
in, delighted to find a kindred spirit.
á á? "Oh, man," V gasped, wiping at her eyes.á "I've never seen an
actual "The end is nigh"sign before!"
á á? "He was probably saving it for a special occasion," I told her.
á á? "Well, he found one.á This is about as nigh as it gets.á Come on, let's
make like a baby and head out."
The above is from chapter 22 of 'On A Clear Day You Can See Forever' by Mark MacKinnon. And yeah, that's Sailor V and Ranma. Probably one of the best portrayals of Minako I've seen, funny but with some deeper characterization.
 

Sect

Well-Known Member
#59
It also has her blatantly out of character: she used a similie or whatever that actually made sense.

EDIT: Also, that was a joke. Just to be on the safe side.
 

PCHeintz72

The Sentient Fanfic Search Engine mk II
#60
How about the following:

Revenge is a theme often explored in fictional work. The vengeance seeker is often rugged, muscular, and dark. These three things, however, could not be used to describe Kouzo or his disciples. They were flabby, out of shape, and wore obnoxiously bright colors.

They were, in a word, clowns. Furthermore, they were a bunch of clowns, in the literal sense. Abused and spat upon by children, they wanted REVENGE on those cursed brats.

But they had, in one sense or another, achieved one of their secret goals.

That goal had been, as silly as it is revenge upon Tendo Akane. Well for one, she had a reputation of being a "Clown Puncher", a code word amongst those in the biz to denote those children that loved to punch a clown, generally in the nose. It had been a long time coming, but they had gotten their revenge, which had been nothing short of a mugging.

Now they were a dangerous, for clowns anyway, gang on the prowl of the mean streets of Nerima. Looking, and let's not forget thirsting, for revenge, they continued on their tireless search. They were non-threatening in a certain way, maybe it was the make-up, the baggy pants, or the fact that they pied people.

Of course, in retrospect, it was probably the make-up.

Anyways, this semi-threatening bunch was on the prowl for more victims. Victims who would be subjected to the gang's clown justice, horrible in some kind of way to be certain. Musabetsu Kakutou Ryu no Bakasawagi, or Indiscriminate Grappling School of Horseplay as it can be rendered, was a fighting style meant for clowns, real ones, to gain a fitting revenge on their tormentors.

Kouzo's ear perked up when he heard.. something. It was a familiar, hated, sound to the clowns, the peals of laughter ringing through their mind. But this was no ordinary, everyday, average chortle, not by a long shot.

It was the laugh of one Kuno Kodachi.

"My students!" Kouzo exclaimed, his hand shooting up into the air. "Our hour of vengeance is upon us! The Laughing Girl is on the prowl, and for our pride, we will defeat her!"

The other clowns chorused their agreement, rushing off in the direction of the crazy laugh. The citizens of Nerima watched silently as the slightly threatening group of clowns charged of into the afternoon air. After the mad gang of clowns had left, the citizens went back to their activities.

"What a bunch of clowns," one elderly man quipped, a chorus of agreeing grunt greeting his proclamation.

- - -
The above is from chapter 11 of 'First I Giveth' by Marik Kurakashi
 

PCHeintz72

The Sentient Fanfic Search Engine mk II
#61
How about the following:

"So, Ranma-sama, what have you to profess to me?"

Ranma looked distressed, part of his act to mess with his newest targets. "Oh, fair Kodachi, I fear that a foul cretin is using your heart, as they have done mine."

Kodachi grew enraged. "Who would dare sully the heart that doth love me?"

He turned to her. "Fair maiden, first I must tell thee a story. You see, a foul witch has cursed me, turning me into the pigtailed girl your brother seeks to wed, while you seek to destroy."

Kodachi paled, grabbing him by his shoulders. "Nay, say this is not true, but a soiled fiction you doth speak to my ears!"

Ranma pulled out a thermos, changing into his girl form. "She doth cursed me so that you would always tear at my heart, fighting both for and against my poor soul." She pulled out another thermos, changing to male.

Kodachi fell to her knees. "How could the gods be so cruel as to allow this? Who? Who hath done this to my beloved?"

He sat beside her. "They are Akane Tendo, her Father, and sadly my own as well. But, it gets worse, Kodachi."

"How?" she pleaded. "How could it be worse?"

Ranma sighed, shaking his head. "I was cursed as well so that Akane could take her perversions out on my female form. The Fathers allow this, hoping that she may at one point take such liberties with my male form. As such, all cures for this curse have been destroyed, never to appear again on this world."

Tears began to form in her eyes. My beloved...will never be whole again. This...this demands punishment!

Ranma pulled her face so that she was facing him. "I fear that they seek much the same from you. Does not Akane treat you as she does me?"

As her eyes shot open wide, she collapsed into his arms. The vile woman seeks to take the innocence of my own flower as well! No, this shall not be allowed. First, I shall deal with the two older fools, for surely their magic is stronger than hers. Then, I shall deal with her. "Fear not, Ranma-sama, for I shall free you from them!"

"Take heed not to injure the home, Kodachi, for they have tied my life to it. Should the home sustain injury, I too shall feel it. Make certain that your fights do not disturb the Tendo home, or I shall surely perish as their last attack will ensure we are not together."

As he hugged her, Ranma had to fully enforce the Soul of Ice to keep from laughing his ass off.
The above is from chapter 3 of 'Duality' by Innortal
 

PCHeintz72

The Sentient Fanfic Search Engine mk II
#62
How about the following:

ôTadaima!ö

ôWelcome home Ran-kun!ö Kasumi beamed as she emerged from the kitchen, apron tied over her gi. ôI thought you had a training session today.ö

Ranma nodded, taking Kasumi into a quick hug before joining her at the table.

ôYeah, IÆm gonna head back out in a while. The girls wanted a break, and I figured they earned it, soàö

ôI see.ö Said Kasumi, passing him a bowl of rice. ôI do hope youÆre not being too hard on them, Ran-kun.ö


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ôCome on Usagi, that boulder isnÆt even a tonne! Three more laps!ö

ôHateàyouàö

ôOh my, is this one of your cookies in my hand?ö

ôWaaah!ö

---

ôOk Minako, for every three pieces you bust that rock into, I will give you one brownie.ö

ôDark chocolate?ö

Ranma nodded, his expression serious. ôWith walnuts, too.ö

ôDIE, ROCK!ö


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ôàNothing theyÆre not ultimately willing to do, no.ö

Kasumi made a mental note to restock her baking ingredients.
The above was from chapter 12 of 'Butterflies and Wild Horses' by Smylingsnake.
 
#63
Edit: Found, never mind.
 

ar_ranma

Well-Known Member
#64
Butterflies and Wild Horses? by Smylingsnake reviews
A tiny event leads Ranma to, among other things, Romance, Magic, Adventure and
Saving the World. A butterfly can cause a storm. Imagine what a Wild Horse can do.
Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 62,379 - Reviews:
265 - Updated: 1-23-10 - Published: 9-9-08 - Ranma & Kasumi
('cause it wasn't linked.)
 
#65
Gah. This is total crap. :headbanger:
 

PCHeintz72

The Sentient Fanfic Search Engine mk II
#66
nuclear death frog said:
Gah. This is total crap. :headbanger:
I was beaten to the link... but looks like it did not appeal anyway... sorry.

The senshi come into play later in the story, the lead up to it is almost unrelated to that.
 
#67
Sometimes I swear there must be some kind of hidden Shit ClichÚ Story-beginning Database, and I am just blind to its location.
 

Deathwings

Well-Known Member
#68
You're not the only one. :sweat2:
 

Ezit Meti

Well-Known Member
#69
You know, it might be an interesting <s>insanity inducing</s> project to produce such a thing. Just to have something to point people towards and say "don't write this."
 
#70
Ezit Meti said:
You know, it might be an interesting <s>insanity inducing</s> project to produce such a thing. Just to have something to point people towards and say "don't write this."
Knowing my luck it would probably raise ten-fold the number of fics applicable.
 

Lord Raa

Exporter of Juice Tins
#71
[quote="Snake in the Horse']ôWell, if you do decide to stay in CarterÆs body, I think this host is cuter than the last one you had, Jolinar,ö Ranma shrugged. ôIt might get you further when trying to negotiate with people.ö

ôReally?ö Jolinar asked. ôYou really like this host body more than the last one? So what are my chances of getting you into bed in this body?ö
[/quote]
 

Climhazard

Well-Known Member
#72
Seven Village Stomp said:
"The line between madness and genius is paper thin, boy,"? Genma declares. "That's why we can be sure that if we do the insane, we'll inevitably achieve genius."
IMO this is a piece of pure win :).
 
#73
The problem is that, since the story is a Naruto crossover, it automatically fails.
 

Lord Raa

Exporter of Juice Tins
#74
nuclear death frog said:
The problem is that, since the story is a Naruto crossover, it automatically fails.
It would take a great deal of effort to find a truer statement.
 

cgobyd

Well-Known Member
#75
Lord Raa said:
nuclear death frog said:
The problem is that, since the story is a Naruto crossover, it automatically fails.
It would take a great deal of effort to find a truer statement.
"You single-minded hate of a story grew tiresome when you threw a temper-tantrum because people didn't give into your demands."

How's that?

Oh I know how about, "'Snake in the Horse's Shadow' is one of the shittiest stories to have ever been posted on this site."

Both extremely true from my POV.
 
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