Giving Ground

Rooster455

Well-Known Member
#1
I'd like to start this off by thanking Halibel for her work as my beta for all of my IF and AF entries, but especially this one. Only she would be able to make sense of my tenses.

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars. If I did there would be more space battles and less character development.

Now, on with the entry!

Giving Ground, by Rooster455

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ôFall back!ö The squad leader yells over the whine of blaster fire.

Sergeant Braditz Thracer grits his teeth at the order. He hates giving ground to those Imperial scumbags, but he can see the wisdom in the commanderÆs orders. There are just too many of the damned, machine-like stormtroopers for them to hold off in their current positions.

At the moment theyÆre fighting in the forested outskirts of the city that his fellow rebels had liberated not two days before. They were now using it to use as an airbase for starship raids against Imperial convoys. Unfortunantly the local Imperial garrison from the next city over was not amused and was now trying to recapture the city with two AT-ATs and a horde of stormtroopers.

Braditz ducks as a blaster bolt explodes against the tree stump he was taking cover behind.

ôThracer!ö His partner, Private Savvac Nidel, yells from a few feet away, crouched in a foxhole. ôGive me some cover! WeÆre hopping back!ö

ôAlright, you go first! On three!ö He yells back. ôOneàtwoàthree!!ö As one they both rise up, Savvac turns and runs back to the cover of a thick tree trunk a dozen yards back, while Thracer scythes angry red blaster fire back and forth at the steadily advancing troopers. He doesnÆt really aim, just sprays the forest in the direction of the incoming hostiles, trying to get them to pause and take cover.

ôGo, Thracer!!ö He hears his partner call and, with a frustrated roar, the bear-like Sergeant empties his power pack at the Imperial troops then turns and retreats into the dense foliage, reloading as he passes Savvac who is covering him with a steady stream of aimed cover fire. Savvac always was one for accuracy and while Thracer sometimes scoffed at the ever-practicing young Rebel, he could really see what a difference the kid could make with his well-placed shots.

Red bolts of death leapt from SavvacÆs blaster rifle, each one either connecting with a white armored figure or exploding close enough to make the EmperorÆs pawns hesitate.

Braditz slams another power pack into the receiver and ducks behind a fallen tree truck.

ôGo, Savvac!!ö He yells and the young man snaps off one more shot before turning and running back towards Thracer. All along the Rebel lines, soldier pairs were doing the same thing, leapfrogging away from the Imperial onslaught. Emboldened by the Rebel retreat the Imperial stormtroopers gave chase, quickly pulling ahead of the two looming AT-ATs that had been giving them heavy weapons support.

After steadily retreating for almost fifteen minutes, the Rebel forces reach the edge of the forest. Braditz swears loudly as he realizes that the nearest cover, the first string of houses on the outskirts of the city, is almost 200 yards away across an open field.

ôYou go first, IÆll cover you.ö Thracer says to his partner. ôNo arguing,ö he adds when the kid looks like heÆs about to protest.

ôDonÆt die on me, old man,ö the kid says, reluctantly, giving a nod of respect, before turning and sprinting out into the field, crossing the 200 yards as quickly as his legs will allow.

Making sure to conserve ammunition now, Thracer fires in controlled bursts at the white demons in the forest, ducking when they respond in kind. Splinters rattle off his helmet from a near miss and he pops back up to give them another burst from his trusty rifle.

He quickly ducks back down, however, when a thermal detonator comes soaring through the air at him. He quickly covers his ears and lets his jaw go slack before the hand-held bomb detonates less than five yards from him. The ground shakes beneath him from the detonation, but the rock he was using for cover protects him from the effects of the shrapnel and heat.

Before popping up for another burst, Thracer looks back over his shoulder and sees Savvac reach the cover of the buildings. SavvacÆs voice crackles over his comlink. ôCÆmon, Sarge! Move your ass! The Imps are almost on top of you!ö

ôShut up kid! I know that!ö He roars back over the comm. ôJust give me some cover fire!ö

A second later lasers dart over his head, impacting much closer than Thracer had thought they would.

ôMove Sarge!ö Savvac yells, spurring Braditz into action. He breaks the cover of the forest and charges across the field, swearing the whole way.

ôIf those damned scumbags donÆt kill you by the end of the day, I will!!ö He yells back over the comlink. ôYou stupid, nerfherding, bantha pup!!ö

ôKill me later. Just run!ö Savvac replies, still pouring blaster fire into the forest in an attempt to cover his partner. Lasers shoot back out of the forest, some aimed at Savvac, but most of them at the lone Sergeant running across the field. The blaster bolts flash by with a whine, some impacting against the ground at ThracerÆs feet. One lucky shot finally connects with ThracerÆs left buttock when heÆs only twenty yards away from the buildings, spinning him around and sending him crashing to the ground with a roar of pain.

ôBraditz!ö He hears his partner yell in shock.

ôShut up kid. I ainÆt dead yet,ö he growls, biting back a scream of pain. He forces his body to move and manages to take cover in a shallow ditch a few feet away, blaster fire still darting around him, trying to finish him off. Lying in the ditch most of his body is covered, but his bulk doesnÆt manage to sink all the way into the earth. Cursing colorfully, he pulls one of the few bandages he carries out and presses it to the bleeding wound, stifling another scream when he presses the white patch to the burned skin.

ôShit, Sarge! TheyÆre telling me to pull back!ö Savvac desperately says over the radio.

ôThen go. IÆll be fine,ö the Sergeant says through clenched teeth.

ôI canÆt leave you, Thracer! TheyÆll kill you!ö Braditz can hear the emotion in the young manÆs voice.

ôThen IÆll just have to kill as many of them as I can before they get me. Now go!ö

There is a pause before Savvac speaks again. ôMay the Force be with you,ö the Private says, before the stream of fire from the building he had been taking cover in stops abruptly as the young man turns and retreats.

Groaning in pain, Thracer peeks over the lip of the ditch, but doesnÆt see any Imperials crossing the field. He swears again. ôDammit, the scumbags arenÆt even advancing! Why are we pulling back!?ö He growls to himself, but some potshots from the tree line make him duck back down, pressing into the ditch as if he was trying to become one with the earth.

A few minutes drag on, with no sign of an Imperial advance, and Braditz starts to get annoyed. How was he supposed to kill Imps if they just sat in the safety of the trees? What were they waiting for?

The answer to the latter question becomes clear a minute later when he hears, and feels, the heavy footsteps of the mighty AT-ATs as they came lumbering out of the woods.

ôOh. Shit,ö Thracer whispers as the metal monstrosities march out of the forest, swarms of stormtroopers breaking cover as well and charging across the field with them. All feelings of bravado flee from Thracer as the Imperial walkers advance towards his little ditch. The rifle in his hands shakes, feeling like a toy compared to the armored transport a little over a hundred yards away. Staring at the advancing behemoth, Thracer knows he is going to die.

He can only watch, frozen in horror, as one of the walkers turn its heavily armed head in his direction, aiming those huge laser cannons right at him. The view screen glows a menacing red as it gazes down on the tired, wounded and scared Rebel.

The only thing Sergeant Braditz Thracer can do to the walker that would be his doom, is extend one shaky arm in itÆs direction, his middle finger extended in one last act of defiance.

The moment his finger fully extends the matte gray machine spontaneously explodes, showering the field in shrapnel. A split second later the other AT-AT explodes as well. Braditz covers his face with his arm to protect it against the rain of superheated metal. Once the metal shower ends Braditz looks up, expecting to see a flight of starfighters strafing the Imperial troops, but the sky is clear. He looks back to the buildings, hoping to see a heavy weapons team or some tanks between the buildingsàbut still sees nothing.

ôWhat the hell just happened!?ö He said, bewildered. ôAT-ATs donÆt just blow up for no damn reason!ö

With a growl of frustration and pain from his wound he looks back to the stormtroopers, who seem equally confused. After a few seconds one of the Imperial commanders mustÆve realized how exposed they were because the white clad soldiers start rising up from their prone positions in the field to resume their advance. The moment the last living Imp had rises to his feet dozens of red lasers dart from the trees they had just vacated, picking off the stormtroopers with pinpoint accuracy.

Imperials spin and die under the barrage and the remaining troops are thrown into disarray, seemingly unable to decide which direction to go as more lasers chewed through their ranks. A quartet of troopers finally make a decision, running straight towards ThracerÆs position. The moment they get within fifty yards of him he mows them down, scything laser fire across their legs, dropping them. His second sweep of blaster fire chews into their upper torsos, finishing them off.

Once those stormtroopers are taken care of Thracer looked back out to the field. The lush green grass is filled with the charred corpses of Imperials alongside the remains of their armored support. Nothing moves.

After a minute, dark green shapes seem to materialize out of the woods, cautiously approaching the dead Imps. The camouflaged wraiths move among the bodies, putting a blaster bolt into each ImpÆs throat before moving on. Two of them, however, donÆt slowly wade through the bodies; instead they run across the field at a dead sprint, both holding large cases in their hands. As they get closer, Braditz can see that they are both, in fact, human and they are covered in special camouflage ponchos and carrying medical kits in their hands.

ôWhere you hit, soldier?ö The older of the two men asks when they reach the prone Sergeant.

ôWho in the hell are you guys!?ö Braditz asks instead, causing the man to chuckle.

ôIsnÆt it obvious? WeÆre on your side. Twenty-Fourth Rebel Commando Platoon at your service.ö He says with a confident grin, the kind almost every Rebel Alliance special operative had. Thracer was pretty sure those cock-sure grins were standard issue for commandos.

ôHow the hell did you take down those walkers!?ö Thracer asks, still in shock at the sudden appearance of the commandos.

ôOh that?ö The other medic says, giving a dismissive wave. ôYou guys fell back so fast the Imp infantry got way ahead of the walkers, so we snuck up behind 'em and stuck a few dozen charges to their big bellies when they werenÆt looking.ö The young man turns to give the smoking hulks an appraising look. ôThough, they couldÆve used more explosives in my opinion,ö he says, rubbing the dark stubble on his chin.

Thracer can only shake his head in disbelief, then sigh in relief when the other medic gives him a shot of painkiller and presses a bacta patch to his buttocks. The other Sergeants were always commenting how his big behind would get pinged sooner or later, and he groans as he realizes he owes the First Sergeant 50 creds for actually getting shot in the ass.

Maybe he shouldÆve taken a shot at the AT-AT to get entice it into killing him quicker. The First Sergeant would never let him live this down.
 

Rooster455

Well-Known Member
#2
Made some final edits a few minutes before the deadline is going to expire.
 

biigoh

Well-Known Member
#3
Giving Ground
Code:
English: 17
Details: 19
Theme: 16
Story: 17
Other: 16
TOTAL: 85
Star Wars has alot of possibilities in terms of glorious last stands and battles. However, one should note that last stands are called that for a reason. It is the 'last' time you'll be doing it. Surviving or winning tends to mean you'll be doing it... again. Which makes that 'last' stand hardly last.

Also, you have the small issue with spelling here and there, as well as tenses. And when you've been spelling numbers, it catches the eye when you just use a number at the end instead of spelling it. In addition, it feels better if you go with past tense, instead of present. There is also the fact that you keep using the name instead of attempting to describe the character(s). There is personality, but that of a faceless/'nameless' soldier effect here.

This fic has potential, but the execution could have been better with more polishing. This fics reads like an omelet that is slightly overcooked in places, and slightly watery due to it not being fully cooked in places.

This is my judgment and I stand by it.
 
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