Gundam Wing Rewrite

#1
I haven't written much of this fic yet but I thought I would post what I have to see what people think.

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A reworking of the original Gundam Wing series & Movie with added scenes, characters, & plot lines from Episode Zero, K?ichi Tokita's manga adaptation, & other side story material. Frozen Teardrop & Glory of the Defeated manga will only be used sparingly.
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Chapter title  
Prolog: Divergence of Operation Meteor

After Colony 195, April 6th

Relena watched Colony L – 1 come into view from her window on the commercial shuttle craft like so many times before. She normally enjoyed visiting the colonies with her father but today was her birthday and although her expression remained placed and calm, she was still upset about today's events.  

It wasn't like Relena wanted a big celebration for her birthday, although she was certain she was going to get one anyway. She only wanted to spend some time with her family, especially her father who was always preoccupied with business, like today. She knew she should feel fortunate that she could even accompany him on his fifth Summit meeting but she couldn't help but feel irritated by the situation.

When the shuttle finally landed they were immediately greeted by a group of Colony representatives. Relena went though the routine of polight nods and light handshakes until a sense pierced the mundane vale of her apathy. Her subconscious seemed to quickly pinpoint the direction of the disturbance, as if it were a beacon sending out a signal.

High on one of the passing nearby buildings, the shape of a person could been seen behind a fenced in rooftop. It may have been that the figure had noticed her too, because for a moment, she thought she observed the form swiftly move his or her hand to cover their face.

"Relena."

Her momentary fascination with the stranger on the building was interrupted by the soft spoken voice of her father beside her.

"I should be done in about two hours. Do you need anything before I go in? More money perhaps?"

"No, I'm fine but thank you anyway. I'll be back by the time your meeting ends."

Vice Foreign Minister Dorlin smiled a little - glad his daughter's silent dismay made a minor transition to thoughtfully inquisitive. It was no small relief that here on the colonies, Relena seemed mollified and took pleasure in exploring the surroundings. She would usually walk around the towns and sometimes she would even bring back a souvenir, although never for herself.

Back on Earth, although Relena seemed well liked by her classmates and went to most of her schools social gatherings, she never once invited anyone to their home, and she never actively tried to mingle or consort with others.

She was highly reserved and always seemed to live in her own mind, which worried her mother so. Maureen often wondered if their child had possibly retained some subconsciously memory of her tragic infancy.

"Before you go, I've heard that it might snow here on the Colony. So, please make sure to wear something warm."

'Snow on the Colony?'  

"Okay father, I will. I'll see you soon.

"Have fun Relena."

After she watched her father leave with the rest of the colony delegates, Relena once again looked up seeking the strange person on the roof. But just like she though, the figure was long gone.
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Dark eyes looked up at an artificial gray sky. It should have begun to snow already. A nip had begun to accumulate in the air but it was taking the automatic whether system longer than usual to change atmospheric conditions.  

L –1 was an older colony, therefore, it was doubtful that anyone installed recent hardware or software updates to the system.

As the unnamed boy with Ebony hair continued on the trek to his destination, his thoughts wafted back to a recent and rather perplexing incident.

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Persian blue eyes spotted their target through the diamond shaped wiring of the rooftop fencing. Using a handheld viewfinder the boy could see that his mark was surrounded by colony delegates and a few camera news crew.

Muffled footsteps and the soft clang of a kain on metal paneling turned his attention to the all too familiar presence of his elderly mentor, Dr J.  

The arrival of man with camera like lenses embedded into his eye sockets, meant that there was further information to disclose about his objective.

The man adapted his habitual sage like pose; moving his prosthetic left arm behind his back while his right hand loosely gripped the handle of the kain resting in front of him.

"It's unfortunate, but this might turn out to be your final mission." He stated.

"The Barton Foundation has ordered Vice Foreign Minister Dorlin to be eliminated due to his knowledge of Operation Meteor. However, I'm going to give you three options."  

The dark haired youth didn't outwardly change his expression but his eyes gave away his vague interest in this unexpected turn of events.

"You can cooperate with the Barton Foundation and assassinate Vice Foreign Minister Dorian. You can turn against the Barton Foundation and protect the Vice Foreign Minister. Or, you can chose to completely disregard this entire mission. It's up to you."

Dark eyes shifted downward as he deliberated. It was uncharacteristic to be given a choice on a mission but now that he was given one, a question lingered – was this man worth saving?  

He suddenly recognized a coincidental, if not, ironic parallel to something from a not so distant past. An old conversation from a former mentor rose to the surface of his thoughts.

"A Long time ago... Some ideot altered history with just one shot."

"No matter what happens in your life, always listen to your emotions and act on your feelings."

"Act on your feelings..." He reaffirmed the statement out loud.

The boys contemplating gaze peered down at the Vice Foreign Minister once again. The man was still conducting obligatory pleasantries with the other colony politicians.

Abruptly, the girl next to him, most likely his daughter, turned her sights straight toward him.  

Reflexes kicked in immediately; his hand automatically moving to cover his face. It was incredibly bizarre how she had found him, like she knew he was there. He had already decided to ignore the mission but now that his position has been given away, it was time to move on.

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It was a curious how she had found him so high up and far away. He had done nothing to indicate his position and yet, she had sensed him there somehow.

Cold flakes of white brushed softly over the boys thick Ebony brown hair and drew him out of his musings. It finally started snowing as he was only a few yards away from his destination.
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Azure

Well-Known Member
#2
An interesting start to this, I think that having Heero consciously choosing to spare the Vice Foreign Minister like this while reciting his iconic line about "listening to your emotions" is actually a good idea. It really helps highlight what sort of arc Heero will probably have from here on, it just really helps him come as a bit more human (so you avoid having people thinking Heero is just a robot). But I guess this means you won't have Heero laughing like a mad man when he shoots down a MS in his first mission. It was a really cool moment, but thinking about it it was out of character (unless you use it to show how stressed/unstable he is, which works).

Seeing Relena here makes me feel bad for what will happen to her in the future, but I guess that's inevitable. She really becomes a more interesting character right after she meets Heero and loses her father. The bit about the snow had me scratching my head a bit. I always liked the idea that the snow we saw in the opening was actually the foam from the fire extinguishers in the colony, but you can leave it at snow if you want (people probably simulate the weather to feel more at home). Finally, I found the scene where Relena somehow finds Heero really romantic, even if unrealistic, but I love that kind of thing so keep at it.
 

The Ero-Sennin

The Eyes of Heaven
Staff member
#3
Not a bad start, there are a few errors I'll point out when I am off mobile.
 
#4
I'm glad you guys like it so far. This was basically word vomit that I splattered onto the page.

Azure said:
An interesting start to this, I think that having Heero consciously choosing to spare the Vice Foreign Minister like this while reciting his iconic line about "listening to your emotions" is actually a good idea. It really helps highlight what sort of arc Heero will probably have from here on, it just really helps him come as a bit more human (so you avoid having people thinking Heero is just a robot). But I guess this means you won't have Heero laughing like a mad man when he shoots down a MS in his first mission. It was a really cool moment, but thinking about it it was out of character (unless you use it to show how stressed/unstable he is, which works).

Seeing Relena here makes me feel bad for what will happen to her in the future, but I guess that's inevitable. She really becomes a more interesting character right after she meets Heero and loses her father. The bit about the snow had me scratching my head a bit. I always liked the idea that the snow we saw in the opening was actually the foam from the fire extinguishers in the colony, but you can leave it at snow if you want (people probably simulate the weather to feel more at home). Finally, I found the scene where Relena somehow finds Heero really romantic, even if unrealistic, but I love that kind of thing so keep at it.
I'm not sure if you read the Episode Zero manga but this is basically a reworking of Operation Meteor chapter. However, I changed it quite a bit by choosing to insert references from both Heero and Relena's specific chapters form the same manga. I'll be using a lot from the manga material in the future. If you haven't read any of them I have a compilation zip file here https://www.dropbox.com/s/kaum3hw7llo7lra/Gundam%20Wing%20manga.zip?dl=0

Also, if you think about it, Heero was completely broken up about killing a little girl, and that happened a year before AC195. So, technically his crazy laughing was already out of character. I think he was just a little unstable.
 
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