Harry Potter "Harry Potter and the Flames of Emerald and Gold"

[nuclear death frog]

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11782726/1/Harry-Potter-and-the-Flames-of-Emerald-and-Gold
Updated to chapter seven a few days ago.

This is my own story, which I haven't posted any of here. Some of the written bits were previously in "Makeshift Vanities" or in "Gifts of the Phoenix", but both of those are abandoned and this story doesn't use either of their plotlines.

I'd really like comments on this. What, if anything, works as I've written it; what doesn't work; what seems confusing and why it seems confusing ... just anything detailed people would like to ask.

Please comment.

 

[Christopher Robin]

So, did you do the Davis/Davies thing on purpose or not?

 

[nuclear death frog]

Yes, it's intentional. She's a character who was only named on the classlist, and never showed up in the books. There are several characters from the classlist who showed up in the books with changed names. The fact that canon has a Roger Davies in Ravenclaw and the Tracey Davis from the classlist, is a situation that I don't believe is a coincidence. I think they were meant as related characters, and the girl just never showed up. So I am going with the family name that actually appeared in print.

So, yes, fully intentional.

Was that your only question?

 

[moon so bright]

I'd like to say that I appreciate the fact that your Voldemort isn't an idiot, like so many found in HP stories, and that he seems to be competent.

 

[AoMythology]

I'd like to say that I appreciate the fact that your Voldemort isn't an idiot, like so many found in HP stories, and that he seems to be competent.

Not just 'stories'. The canon Voldemort is a bit of an idiot, too.

 

[nuclear death frog]

I'd like to say that I appreciate the fact that your Voldemort isn't an idiot, like so many found in HP stories, and that he seems to be competent.

Thank you for commenting. You aren't the first person to tell me that Voldemort seems more competent and/or dangerous in my story; someone told me that in a review also. I definitely wanted him to come across as much more of a threat; it seems I may have succeeded. Once again, thanks.

 

[nuclear death frog]

Here's a snippet of the next chapter, which isn't complete or anything close. But I feel like putting a snippet up, even though basically no one here cares.

[font=Lucida Console, monospace]Harry was soon sent back upstairs to pack, Nymphadora Tonks trailing him.[/font]

“[font=Lucida Console, monospace]Funny place,” the woman said. “It's a bit [/font][font=Lucida Console, monospace]too clean, if you know what I mean. Bit unnatural.” Harry agreed wholeheartedly but without comment. “Oh, this is better,” the woman added, upon seeing Harry's room.[/font]​

[font=Lucida Console, monospace]Harry started picking up books and other items, almost going through the motions by rote. He couldn't muster a great deal of interest in most of the things he had to pack. There were things he valued and things he simply did not value; a lot of his possessions fell in the latter group. He was distracted anyhow.[/font]​

[font=Lucida Console, monospace]Nymphadora Tonks was … interesting. She had a pale, heart-shaped face; dark, twinkling eyes; and short, spiky hair that was a violent shade of violet. Harry couldn't put a finger on precisely why he found her interesting; if he were forced to choose words he might have decided there was an unstable quality to the surface of her magic. Though he would have never thought about it in those terms.[/font]​

[font=Lucida Console, monospace]It was something to be fascinated by. For lack of better words, Harry decided she shone.[/font]​

[font=Lucida Console, monospace]The witch had moved to examine her reflection in a mirror that hung on the door of an open wardrobe. Harry repressed a snort with difficulty; was the witch really that vain? She tugged at a lock of her violet hair and looked thoughtful.[/font]​

“[font=Lucida Console, monospace]You know,” she said, “I don't suppose this is really my color. It makes me look a bit peaky, doesn't it?”[/font]​

[font=Lucida Console, monospace]Harry raised his eyebrows. Did she want confirmation or did she want his opinion? He said “Er” and dragged out the word.[/font]​

“[font=Lucida Console, monospace]Yeah, it does,” the woman said, answering herself. She screwed up her face as if concentrating mightily, and a second later her hair turned bubble-gum pink.[/font]​

[font=Lucida Console, monospace]This amazed Harry so much he had to know immediately how she had done it. The explanation that followed dashed his hopes; the woman had an innate power that wasn't something which could be learned.[/font]​

[font=Lucida Console, monospace]Disappointed, Harry looked at a book on the floor. It was one of Dudley's books; Harry hadn't remembered pulling it off the shelf in the past month but he must have done so at some point. “You shine, you know,” he said stupidly, not really thinking.[/font]​

[font=Lucida Console, monospace]Harry looked back at the woman and found his words must have gotten to her somehow. “I … shine?”[/font]​

[font=Lucida Console, monospace]Harry nodded. “It's like a glow. All in your skin. It's subtle.” He really wasn't thinking about what he was saying.[/font]​

[font=Lucida Console, monospace]The witch's face looked flushed. “Kill a lady with compliments, why don't you. Your dad would be proud.”[/font]​

[font=Lucida Console, monospace]That comment only reminded Harry of something else she had said. Weary of what he thought she was going to say, he emptily asked, “You knew my parents, didn't you? You said I looked just like you thought I would.”[/font]​

“[font=Lucida Console, monospace]Merlin's bollocks,”[/font][font=Lucida Console, monospace] the witch swore under her breath. Then she only looked indignant. “We have met, you know, you're only too young to remember it. We're seven years apart. I didn't go to Hogwarts with your parents – they were friends of my parents through a cousin of my mum's. Before she married my dad, my mum was Andromeda Black, a first cousin of your godfather Sirius Black. I knew James Potter, I remember James Potter, you look a great deal like a younger James Potter,” she said the last with a sad expression.[/font]​

[font=Lucida Console, monospace]Harry glared at her. He didn't want sympathy. This witch was not his friend. Not yet, not really.[/font]​

[font=Lucida Console, monospace]In talking further he learned that she had turned nine not long after that Halloween … as a Hogwarts first-year she had realized she would never see him there because she would finish the term before he started … she said it had taken her a long time to get over that disappointment. She told him that she had been very fond of his parents, who had insisted she call them Aunt Lily and Uncle James, though she was of no relation to Harry.[/font]​

[font=Lucida Console, monospace]Harry didn't know whether to believe her. She seemed convincing, but probably that was the point. He wanted to keep her at distance, he wanted to keep her close. He didn't know what to think about this witch, and wanted to go over everything she had said with Sirius.[/font]​

“[font=Lucida Console, monospace]We've got to get moving, Harry; we're supposed to be packing.”[/font]​

[font=Lucida Console, monospace]Harry remembered that was indeed why they had been sent up here. He started to collect things more rapidly, but the witch waved him off. Concentrating, she packed nearly all his things with a non-verbal wave of her wand, then caused his trunk to hover.[/font]​

“[font=Lucida Console, monospace]It's not very neat,” she said. “These kinds of spells have never come all that easy to me. My mum's brilliant with all household charms; she can get socks to fold themselves when she packs stuff up … but I've never mastered it. Never wanted to, really, but I think it's a kind of flick.” She flicked her wand hopefully, but his trunk looked no neater than it already had. She cleaned out Hedwig's cage, then realized his racing broom was a Firebolt.[/font]​

[font=Lucida Console, monospace]It was one of Harry's most prized possessions, his first Christmas gift from Sirius, his international-standard broomstick. He realized he wanted very desperately to fly …[/font]​

“[font=Lucida Console, monospace]Well, we seem to have everything all together, then,” the witch said. “Trunk packed? Check. Broomstick ready? Check. Okay. We're moving. Come on, trunk,” The trunk moved with her.[/font]​

[font=Lucida Console, monospace]The witch … Nymphadora Tonks, a surprisingly attractive name … preceded him downstairs, hovering his school trunk. If she knew where Harry's eyes were, she made no indication that she cared.[/font]

 

[AoMythology]

So, Harry's got his first crush? :hmm:

 

[nuclear death frog]

No, that was Cho Chang, the issue of whom I basically skipped over because I didn't think I could add anything to it. Well, that was one reason I skipped it anyhow.

 

[AoMythology]

I liked the fact that Harry was cool-headed in Chapter 8. I wonder what's so familiar about Tonks though; is Harry also a Metamorph?

 

[nuclear death frog]

Harry is not a Metamorphmagus. It doesn't spoil anything to admit that outright, so there you go. As for why she seems familiar to him, that's likely to come up next chapter.

Thank you for commenting.

 

[AoMythology]

Harry is not a Metamorphmagus. It doesn't spoil anything to admit that outright, so there you go. As for why she seems familiar to him, that's likely to come up next chapter.

Thank you for commenting.

That's good. Usually, I see Metamorphmagus!Harry in stories where he does not use subterfuge; thus, it's a useless skill for him anyway.

 

[nuclear death frog]

Sirius looked at the hole which was once Andromeda. “You know, since we were speaking of my cousin … I saw you watching her closely last night.”

Harry looked at Sirius. He felt his face begin to heat from embarassment. “I meant to ask you … were her parents friends with mine?”

Sirius nodded. “She told you?” When he saw Harry nod he continued. “We all saw each other frequently before that Halloween. As much as we could. Tonks was seven when you were born, almost eight, and she loved getting to hold you. You liked it too, for that matter. She was … probably your favorite person, after your parents.” He smiled.

“Not you?” Harry asked.

“No,” his godfather laughed. “You loved watching her change her hair color or her face; it always made you laugh. I suppose that me turning into a dog didn't measure up.” He was smirking now; Harry thought it looked pure evil.

“Even still, I was only one when my parents died,” Harry said. “I shouldn't remember her.”

Sirius shook his head. “Your magic remembers her better than your conscious mind can.” He looked at the tapestry. “Magic remembers magic, or so the purebloods say. I always thought it was rubbish, but maybe it has a hint of truth … “ he trailed off.