Harry Potter Hilariously bad summaries

[e39042]

Thought this might prove to be an amusing thread.
Here's one I just stumbled across:

Harry Potter and the Path of Faust
After OotP. What if when Harry told shouted at Dumbledore that he didnt want to be human anymore, what if someone else had heard him, what if that person happened to be the Devil himself, and what would happen if he trained Harry? Being Rewritten

 

[Dumbledork]

Harry Potter-Lee by LifeJumper123 reviews
Lily does a spell that sends Harry to be raised a man that would famous to both the Union and the Confederacy. when a civil war comes, Harry joins the man he calls his dad in the War of Northern Aggression, after it's lost. he is sent back to 1993. Gods and Generals/Gettysburg/Harry Potter Warning: Confederate Harry, not fighting for Slavery, but States Rights.
Rated: T - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,849 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10-6-12 - Harry P. & N. Tonks

This one's really bad.

 

[seitora]

And to a one these stories will all probably end up being shit

A rule of thumb: For stories that have "What if" in the summary, the number of "What ifs" and variations ("Who is" "What will" "What would", etc.) correspond with how shitty the story will be.

 

[Shirotsume]

Cris Potter's Life by Nichole Monroe reviews
Cristal Potter, femHarry, has gone through a lot of stuff, this is just one of them. Can her friends and family change the past in order to get a better future?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 174 - Words: 1,205,822 - Reviews: 304 - Favs: 365 - Follows: 311 - Updated: May 31 - Published: Sep 26, 2014 - Harry P., Sirius B., George W., Fred W.

Yes. You read that right. over 1.2mil words... and 304 reviews. Also, 1.2mil words in little more than a year. Jesus christ.
Due to the summary, I have no idea what this is about, and due to the stats it's going to stay that way.

 

[rukia8492]

Sweet mother of fucking hell! That's more words in a fanfic than there are in the entire series itself!

 

[ghudson]

These doesn't sound good to me either.