Harry Potter Hogwarts Rejection Letters

whitewhiskey

Well-Known Member
whitewhiskey said:
A certain thread in the Cartoons section got me this idea. Probably write a set-up for it later
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Professor McGonagall,

I was actually surprised your letter found Harry after our move and my remarriage, though I suppose I shouldn't have been, magic and all.

I realize you and professor Dumbledore were probably looking forward to Harry attending Hogwarts, but he has decided to decline. I am sure that Hogwarts is a nice school, but I am also fairly certain there are good schools of magic here in the U.S. where Harry wouldn't have to be so far from his family, perhaps even one where he can return home for the weekend (I am also very certain my husband would love a chance to study magic in action).

You see, my step-daughters have become quite close friends with Harry and while a trip to Brittan would be a matter of little effort for them, I would also miss Harry terribly, as he would miss all of us.

My Apologies,

Petunia Utonium
Years before (Or after then back, depending on your perspective of the time-space continuum)
--------------

"Your fault...your fault...your fault."

"No," Blossom said softly, her eyes tearing up, "W-what have we done?"

"No-no-no-no-no," Buttercup chanted, covering her ears and trying to deny the reality before her.

"WHYYY?" Bubbles cried out, pulling her signature pigtails
 
Dear Hogwarts,

I do not believe you services shall be required to help Harry in the mystical arts. At all. In fact I'd rather you'd stay as far away from my adopted son as possible. The word from magic users like Johnny Constantine and Jason Blood paints a very dark picture of your subculture. And please do not mistake Tim Hunter for Harry.

I can handle is education in magic far superior to anything any of you can do. Also your understanding of psychology is likely worse than anyone who tries to armchair analyze the most infamous inhabitants of Arkham.

After all what does a boy who literally teleports himself across the planet to find somewhere safe and ends up in a Justice Society meeting tell you? Given I am a psychologist I helped him with his psychological scars.

So stay away. And you might have forgotten what a Lord of Order means, but do understand that is your only warning.

Sincerely

Kent V. Nelson aka Doctor Fate
 

scriviner

Well-Known Member
To the Parasites hiding in their castle of stone,

I say to you now, no. And once more NO. My adopted son will not be attending your institution.

He will remain with us, safe within Rapture. Far away from all the foolishness of the surface.

He will not be subjected to the small minded indoctrination and you will force on him. Your expectations of him will not shackle him or obligate him to act as you wish.

He will grow up to be a man, not a slave and that is my final word on the matter.

Do not send any further owls, as they do not appear to like having to deal with the water.

- Andrew Ryan
 

Typhonis

Well-Known Member
To Hogwarts School of Withcraft and Wizardry.


Harry Potter shall NOT be attending your backward institution of learning. I am teaching him all he shall need to know of magic. What you have failed to realize is that his mother was a friend and acquaintance of myself and she asked me to tend her poor son if anything should befall herself and her husband.

Rest assured Harry is safe and is being given a one of a kind education. Also rest assured that all who threaten harm to Harry invite Doom.

Victor Von Doom

Latervia
 

The Ero-Sennin

The Eyes of Heaven
Staff member
To the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry,

Many apologies in being so late to return correspondence. While we had long taken notice of Harry's talents, we did not realize there was a school that would teach him how to master them. We had merely come to see the Owls delivering the letter as pests, and that giant of a man who arrived at my estate was similarly disposed of as an unwanted intruder. Nevertheless, by this point Harry is well on his way through his High School level education and proving quite the intelligent and powerful young man.

Nevertheless, in compensation for the many owls and the giant, I gift to you these new robes for your students and staff. I'm sure you will find them much more suitable for your school than your present attire.


Sincerely,

Ragyo Kiriyuin
CEO, Revocs Corporation
 

shakeval

Well-Known Member
Dear Hogwarts,

While your offer is generous I feel it would have suited you to have sent this letter much earlier,
with such a short period of time allotted for me to research your school I have only been able to do a cursory inquiry as to the credentials of your institution.

Unfortunately it appears that there is no record of your school, new or old for that matter, in fact your school does not even seem to exist.
While this does happen on occasion I have also not been able to locate any alumni through any of my contacts and I must say that such a thing does you no good service.
Your assumption that I would be attending your school without even so much as a by your leave renders one speechless, it would be expected that an institution such as you claim to be would refrain from such forward assumptions.

As your school has neither the proper credentials nor a recorded history, even so much as contactable alumni I must reject your offer and bid you a good day.

from the desk of Harry J. Potter
 
[size=x-small][font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif](Re-posted from FFN)[/font][/size]

[hr]
[size=x-small][font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Deputy Headmistress McGonogall.[/font]
[/size]
[size=x-small][font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]I admit that I was quite surprised to have your letter to my ward delivered by an owl. May I congratulate whoever applied the multiple charms to the bird, allowing it to subconsciously bend time and space to get to where it needs to without having to fly thousands of miles.[/font][/size]

[size=x-small][font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Before I continue, please allow me to fill you in on some history.[/font][/size]

[size=x-small][font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Young Harry Potter came to my attention almost six years ago, when a quest of mine happened to take me past his house and I saw that he had been locked out for the night because he hadn't managed to weed the garden properly.[/font][/size]

[size=x-small][font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Realising his potential, I took him in and raised him. His accidental magic intrigued me and Harry and myself worked together to determine its limitations and utilisations. Within three years, we had managed to train his power so that he remotely could move things at will and even teleport short distances.[/font][/size]

[size=x-small][font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Harry's magical prowess was greatly enhanced when I and a few mages of my acquaintance created a magical staff so that he could focus his power. At the same time, they removed the soul leech on his forehead (which was apparently done in such a way that it caused the demise of the spirit that relied on it). Since then, he has grown into a very healthy and intelligent young boy.[/font][/size]

[size=x-small][font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Although I have overseen his magical education so far, I have not actually participated in it since most of my magic relies on music as its medium. Nevertheless, I can confirm that young Harry is enjoying his lessons, not only in magic but in courtly graces, swordsmanship, chivalry and many other useful subjects.[/font][/size]

[size=x-small][font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]A month ago, young Harry became the apprentice of my friend Korendil and is learning the ways of knighthood from him. As such, I am afraid that I cannot allow Harry to attend your school as not only would it interrupt his lessons, it would also be seen as a grave insult to all of Elfhame Misthold and such an insult would be dealt with in a very severe and probably lethal fashion.[/font][/size]

[size=x-small][font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Prince Arvin has already contacted the Goblins of Gringotts regarding Harry's inheritance and asks if the true secret keeper of the failed fidelius, the rat animagus Peter Pettigrew, has been caught and punished for his betrayal. Harry's Godfather, Sirius Orion Black, has been retrieved from the prison of Azkaban, tried and found innocent by Prince Arvin and has been re-united with his Godson.[/font][/size]

[size=x-small][font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]I extend my sincere apologies for any inconvenience that this has caused, but I must remind you that the will of an Elven Prince is not to be taken lightly.[/font][/size]

[size=x-small][font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]May you live in health and happiness.[/font][/size]

[size=x-small][font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Eric Banyon.[/font][/size]

[size=x-small][font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Bard of Elfhome Underhill.[/font][/size]

[size=x-small][font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Minerva, contact Remus and tell him that the damned rat is alive. He'll know what the bastard looks like.[/font][/size]

[size=x-small][font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]I never betrayed James and Lily. This I swear on my honour as a Marauder.[/font][/size]

[size=x-small][font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Find that damned rat.[/font][/size]
[size=x-small][font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Sirius.[/font][/size]
 
[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Another re-post from FFN.[/font]

[hr]
[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Dear Professor McGonogall.[/font]

[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Thank you for the most fascinating piece of correspondence delivered to my son. I must point out, however, that you seem to have missed a few details.[/font]

[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]The most important one is that Harry is already a Magus. He has learned not only how to cast spells from the Magus' Grimoire, which I acquired several decades ago, he has also taken instruction from Puck, a close and valued friend of mine, in the ways of Sihde magic.[/font]

[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]It has been fascinating, and very instructive.[/font]

[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Although I myself am not magical, I knew almost every detail of young Harry's life within a year of finding him being beaten by his cousin while I was overseeing the move of my newest home from Scotland to the top of my skyscraper. Seeing a spark of intelligence in him, I arranged to adopt Harry, giving him a home where he could thrive, and thrive he has.[/font]

[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]In terms if education, Harry, although only eleven, has already attained his High School Diploma (which probably means little to an insular society such as yourself) and is continuing his studies. He is also good friends with the Gargoyles which live in my castle and has helped me to form a mutually beneficial working relationship with them, avoiding several situations that would have damaged the trust between us. Physically, Harry is very fit and is only a single grading away from becoming a Black Belt. His accuracy with firearms is incredible and he regularly beats me in our monthly competitions.[/font]

[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Magically, Puck has stated that Harry is one of the strongest human mages he has ever encountered, even more so since he removed the soul fragment residing in the scar on Harry's forehead. Apparently the fragment was from a dark wizard named Tom Marvolo Riddle who made several soul reliquaries in his search for immortality, costing himself his sanity in the process.[/font]

[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Puck was rather offended by this and has since acquired all of the reliquaries and purged them of their soul fragments.[/font]

[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]I have the relics on display in the Great Hall of my castle. Apparently they are quite magical. The Diadem, for instance, imparts quite a bit of knowledge on the wearer, but only for so long as it is worn.[/font]

[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]One of my trusted associates is transcribing the knowledge for future generations.[/font]

[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]As for the Potter Fortune, I have had it relocated to Gringotts America and overseen its investing in the magical and mundane worlds. Puck has also reclaimed the Cloak from your Headmaster.[/font]

[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]I am certain that he will understand.[/font]

[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]I have no real issue with my eldest son attending your school and Harry is excited with the possibility of learning a new type of magical tradition. Nevertheless, I must insist that your headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, come to my castle to explain why Harry was placed with those totally unsuited for him under such shoddy and ill-thought out wards, wards which Puck fixed and moved, along with the monitoring spells which, now that you have opened this letter, have been broken.[/font]

[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]I look forwards to some learned discourse.[/font]

[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Yours sincerely,[/font]

[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]David Xanatos[/font]

[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Xanatos Enterprises[/font]
[hr]
[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Young Harry is our friend and a member of our clan.[/font]

[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Your headmaster had better explain himself or he will face our wrath for abandoning Harry.[/font]

[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Dictated by Goliath of Clan Wyvern[/font]

[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Scribed by Owen Barnett[/font]
[hr]
[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Professors.[/font]

[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]My mother has taken quite an interest in young Harry, so if you let anything happen to him, not only will you face Titania's wrath, you will also face mine.[/font]

[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Be aware that I would prefer Harry to remain here. Alexander adores him.[/font]

[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Yours.[/font]

[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Fox Xanatos.[/font]
 
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