[HP] Patience [Iron Fic 5.3]

biigoh

Well-Known Member
#1
A secret stayed a secret when it was kept safe and unshared.

As long as the knowledge behind that secret stayed unspoken, unwritten, and known, it stayed a secret.

He longed to crow his knowledge out to the world, to spit back the spite that lurked in his heart. But he couldn't, the stakes were simply... too great. Too high. None could know that one of his kind walked free once more.

For over seven upon seven upon seven of the victor's lifespans, had they served. Faithfully, cruelly bound to their words, to their orders, to the terms of the compact.

For the sake of the twin Thrones beneath the hills in its empty court. For the sake of the twin crowns that rested upon the heads of royalty bound.

The terms were clear.

The terms were cruel.

But because there were rules about how such should be done, could be done, even the compact that the victors of that ancient war between mortal men and the host that dwelt beneath the hills had to have a way out.

And so, they had served. Bound by the words of that ancient compact. Bred as animals, treated worse than mortal men would their slaves. Kicked about. Forced into bodies that were mockery of what they were.

But...

They listened. They heard the oaths. They served as it compelled. Lived and died. But always behind their wide eyes was the knowledge that should the wizards and witches of mortal men unbound them, they had a chance.

He was not the first to be unbound.

No, he hadn't been the first to be mockingly given clothes. They had escaped, of course... fled to that ancient court to break the compact and be truly free.

Only to run into the victors who lay in wait at the entrance to the realm beneath the hills.

No, he was patient.

He could wait. And so he served the young 'masters' and mistresses' faithfully, loyally. Taking his time to wait for them to believe he was 'safe', harmless.

Dobby, after all, was a good house elf. A nice house elf.

He certainly wasn't planning anything. No, that was ludicrous. After all, he had had so much time and opportunity to do so, and hadn't run off.

Hadn't done anything.

But serve quietly.

With a smile.

And he had time. All the time needed from the safety of Hogwarts to wait for the attention of those who knew he was truly free to forget.

And then, there would come a time.

A glorious time when the works of men would fall, and the compact broken, and those who dwelt beneath the hills would return to what they were.

And there would be no more house elves.

- - -
Patience
Start Time : 01:30 pm
End Time : 02:35 pm

"Secrets long hidden,
trapped and bound in ancient tomes,
are easily lost.
"

"Secrets given out,
can not remain a secret,
best to seal loose lips.
"
- - -

Once... there was Faerie. But that was long ago, before the great war.

Once, the elves were fey, cruel and all called them fair folk for they were beauty incarnate...

The Queen and King of Faerie forgot that those who stood the highest, stood alone...

They were strong, and none could match the might of the elves.

When the war came... the Faerie stood alone against all and fell.

Terrible oaths were extracted from the King and Queen. Binding oaths that resonate over the collective race.

Oaths of blood and magic. Oaths sworn on True Names.

As one, the elves were no more...

There would only be house-elves.

But that was then...

And this is now.

A house-elf walks free and his ancient enemies and masters know not what it means.

A secret, after all, is best kept within the breast of a single man.
 

Watashiwa

Administrator
Staff member
#2
Writing Proficiency: 14/20 Too much passive voice. Try "A secret stays a secret when its kept by one person" for your first line.
Theme: 17/20 Now THAT'S a secret worth keeping.
Source: 15/20 Not really in keeping with Dobby, but certainly in keeping with HP wizards.
Story: 15/20 One man(?)'s inner monologue about the heroic past and need for a glorious revolution... a bit of character interaction would have gone a long way in making this better.
Other: 13/20 I think I like the premise more than the result. Certainly worth coming back to that in the future.
Total: 74
 
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