I must play: Fleets - PARANOIA Edition!

[bluepencil]

IT IS MANDATORY FUN TIME, CITIZEN.
ARE YOU HAPPY?
TO SPREAD UNHAPPINESS IS TREASON,
AND PUNISHABLE BY IMMEDIATE EXECUTION.

ALWAYS BE ALERT FOR COMMUNIST MUTANT TRAITORS!

​

To help preserve happiness quota through the Service Firm Metaspace Studios and the statistical group Player Base, Friend Computer has assigned [Pencil-B-PEN-24] to serve as dummy control and instruction specimen for the sophisticated and educational strategy game of [ Fleets ]. You are required to watch and learn, and on occasion provide instructions to [Pencil-B-PEN-24] in his deficient play methods. This is yours and [his] delightful duty as Troubleshooters in service of Friend Computer.

THIS IS A CLEARANCE BLUE ANNOUNCEMENT.

Citizens of clearance GREEN and below are forbidden from viewing this announcement. If you do not have sufficient clearance, stop now and report to your nearest Obedience Recuperation Center.

Stand by for a message from test control subject.

Ohshitohshitohshitohshit... why is this happening? I'm a Blue-level citizen!

You have the pleasure to perform this humble task for the good of the Complex. To put personal comfort above the welfare of the group is treason. And communism.

You have been fined 500 Credits for the Profanity Privilege Fee.

But that's... oh [REDACTED: CLEARANCE ULTRAVIOLET] this is going to hurt.

You have been fined 5,000 Credits for the Needless Profanity Experience.

 

[bluepencil]

Oh if only.

THERAPY DISPENSER IS NOW OFFLINE. YOUR MUSCLE SPASMS ARE A SIGN OF GOOD HEALTH, CITIZEN.

Stand by for a message from control subject.

Hello? Is anyone there? Do you have algae?

(sniffing noises)

Okay. Okay. Just gotta relax. Get this over quickly, and I'll be out of the box.

Official game experience follows:


All right. A little bit of history first.

Over seven long cycles ago, the High Programmers Aelanna, Jerle and Squee created the Multiplayer Online Strategy/RPG Game named TDZK. It was a vast game where players controlled a single ship and sought their own measure of victory in a simulated outer space experience. They could do trade or do battle, harvest resources or lay siege to planets, join player Alliances or become an indiscriminate hunter. It was a murky area, since having Players play as aliens is uncomfortably close to pretending to be a mutant, and what could be more terrifyingly Outside than Outer Space?

And It was good. Despite certain objections (and accusations of treason, and random explosions) however the game flourished and drew in legions of loyal and dedicated fans. Thousands blew themselves up in simulated wars and after having been 'podded', ie, reduced to Escape Pods, would work uncomplainingly for the Credits to buy back a ship capable of blowing up other people's investment properties, and thus the violence sustained the economic boom.

For five years many enjoyed TDZK and the Service Firm Metaspace Studios was formed to handle the growing demand. Unfortunately as numbers grew, Friend Computer realized that the donation-based policy was not earning enough to maintain the server. The servers were full of communist traitors!

Everybody started accusing everybody, and the servers were nuked. Many, many clones had to be decanted that day.

For two years the halls of Metaspace Studios were silent and empty, to the sadness of Our Friend, the Computer, and the Players who somehow managed to survive (but they might still be mutant traitors, so watch out).

And then it was announced: a new sort of game, just as packed with fun and destruction as the first, but instead of just one ship the Players could now experience the joy of smashing together hundreds of combatant ships against each other in the style of grand strategic warfare.

But the communist, and the mutant, and the traitor, they want to destroy it like the first... because they cannot abide the existence of something good and helpful to Theta Complex.

Internal Security requires that we make contact with other players and determine their loyalty to the Computer and the Complex. This is easy job. Since its existence is anathema to the traitor, and ineptitude is treason, only those who remain are obviously productive and loyal citizens of the Complex. The clickthrough modules will transmit sympathetic trauma from [Pencil-B-PEN-024] to the losers in this exercise.

Wait, what?

]Fine. Since I am not a traitor WHICH SHOULD BE OBVIOUS YOU [REDACTED] (It was Storm-B-CROW-2! He is the traitor! This is the action of a Free Enterprise conspiracy! Well, them, or the Death Leopards.) let's just get this done with quickly.

 

[bluepencil]

There are three different Races that can be played in Fleets. Their overall naval assets are the same, but the few unique ships heavily influence playstyle.

The Derivians are the most balanced race, owing to their generalist background in TDZK. Their unique ships are powerful on the attack, but are somewhat fragile. Overall however, they require much less expense to gain an effective fighting force.

The Zalluns are a slow and methodical people, whose ships are late to research and are expensive to construct, but are almost unfairly powerful. A reliance on heavy ships means the movement rate of their fleets is limited to the minimum of two hexes per tick, but once on the move can only be defeated by a much larger force.

The Kitarans are the exact opposite, sacrificing defense for overwhelming speed and offense. Their unique ships are light and thinly armored, Corvettes and Interceptors that should be prey to Gunship escorts. However, Kitaran weapons have better range and tend to take out heavy ships in the firing order - bypassing the normal escort swarm that soaks up damage in a fleet.



Poll results: CHOOSE DERIVIAN TO REDUCE BIAS.


I comprehend and obey.

 

[bluepencil]

Loading complete.

Huh. Give me some time to familiarize myself with the interface and brush up on the documentation.

Ticks
Ticks are how often the game plays a turn. Ticks are universal so they change at the same time for every player in a map zone.
1. Medium = 60 minute tick interval. A map moving at this speed would move every hour on the top of the hour. This is a good speed for most players, not too fast and not too slow. You can queue up orders for several hours, let the orders run and only check on it ever so often.
2. Fast = 30 minute tick interval. A map moving at this speed would move every hour and half hour. This is perfect for someone that has time to check on Fleets every couple hours at least.
3. Chaos= 2 minute tick interval. This map is literally very chaotic. The purpose of these zones are for our more RTS players, who want the whole game in just a few hours.

We're in... the Hour Zone? What. I can only do twenty-four moves per day! This would be useful if I had a job or something, except that I'm -trapped- here. This is a clear violation of my happiness percentage-

RENEGADE INTERRUPT: DISPENSING CHEMICAL INCENTIVE

Ooh.

Shiny happy people singing by sea....

A Scout? No, yoo... yoo is a Ranger!

Show me your powah!

Wait. That awesomely metal theme. You're Death Leopards! ALARM! ALARM! TRAITORS IN THE BUILDING!

RELEASE THE MONKEYS!

Constructicons...! Construct?

Oh lookee... I've schiffs already out dere. Sush dediketted crew. Gonna blow them up but good heh heh heh.

Wait... am I - a Deff Lefard... ?

Friend Computer, referensh check.

Death Leopard: Their motto is "live fast, die young, and leave a beautiful set of 6 corpses." Death Leopard is into loud music, explosions, and parties. They are not so much a coherent secret society as a collection of gangs. There are frequent wars within the society, but they will usually band together to deal with outside threats ù if only to get back to settling their turf wars in peace.

Oh. Right. Treason.

SOBRIETY INDEX : 100%
TERROR INDEX: 76%

 

[bluepencil]

Consume for Theta Complex. The currency must flow!

I know that out there are other Players, many (if not all of them) traitors or mutants, and if I just sit here doing nothing eventually they will find me. I need to be strong enough to punish these fools for insubordination when we meet.

This looks like a good spot for further expansion. The asteroid clusters contain lots of the first usable Resource; Ore, from which is extracted the bare metal needed for starship hulls.

This spot contains Crystal; which is needed for advanced technologies, such as engines and weapon systems. Must the shiny.

And finally, a reserve of gas. Fuel. I vaguely recall selfish and self-destructive wars being fought over the Crude, the strange 'gas' that served as blood in the Highway Artery, in those ignorant days we were not yet blessed by the knowing guidance of the Computer.

This Highway must have been a colossal giant weapon. The Ancients sure were wasteful.

All three are required for the construction of ships. Despite that the starting Colony is a fully-upgraded settlement and shipyard, there still isn't much I can build; for lack of the relevant research. I'm piling on some virtual INFARED workers and set them to building a new Construction Frigate.

 

[bluepencil]

Knowledge is power. But too much knowledge is a conspiracy, and is therefore treason. I need to maintain a careful balance here.

Still, employing a bunch of eggheads will give them some useful outlet for their daily energy, unlike how INFAREDs at least perform beneficial work for the good of the Complex.

Aha. Planets. They're rare but useful, since they possess vast quantities of all three essential resources. This one seems to be in the grip of pirate mutant scum.

Wait, what's that over to the left?

Oho. Music, soothing and inoffensive. Makes me want to set commies on fire.

This Finder thing could be useful. More proof that surveillance is of great and undeniable benefit to our good and productive society. Praise to the Computer!

 

[bluepencil]

Put on your RIAA hats on, boys and girls! It's time to chase down criminal traitors and reprocess their remains for the good of the Complex!

In the meantime, there is this strange coded message. Colon Three. I wonder what that means? Obviously it is a secret shared by conspiratist traitors! This... holic .... is warning its pirate compatriots of my attack!

TREASON.

So this is the list of targets I must (kill) investigate.

Meanwhile my fleet is nearly to bombardment range. The pirate fleet is disappointingly small. Clearly, the warning allowed them to evacuate most of their forces in time. Chasing down insurgents is not fun, but it must be done.

IT IS MANDATORY FUN TIME, CITIZEN.

If the Computer says it is fun, CLEARLY it must be fun! My mistake.

 

[bluepencil]

More Construction Frigates are required to take advantage of new resource sites. It is impossible to fail when performing for the good of Theta Complex.

Of course no mutant pirate can ever overcome good servants of the Computer. Those poor INFAREDs in those Frigates have paid the price for their failure to conform.

And so we expand with more Outposts and decant more clones. These virtual INFAREDs are actually linked to working INFAREDs. To utilize processor cycles that the Computer requires is treason and sabotage of the highest order. But fortunately it's not like our happy drughead INFAREDs Citizens (their humble work keeps Theta Complex running smoothly) are using their higher brain capacities anyway. It is only among the INFAREDs that we can Hivematrix BrainSpan implants can be used safely and with impunity. This is a clearance Deep BLUE statement.

Looking at are resource allocation panel, we are running with barely any excess. This is excellent since this means I am managing the Mirror Complex at the furthest efficiency level. Waste is an unComplex activity.

Obviously I am not a traitor member conspirator of the Humanists secret society and do not seek the overthrow of the Computer in any shape, form, or function.

 

[bluepencil]

INITIATING RELEASE FROM SLEEP CYCLE: NOW

Oh dear Lanna what just happened?! This is yargblaagarablle-


(sparking and screaming noises)

(scent of burnt hair)


Inefficiency... in... my... Complex? Incon... inconceivable. It must be sabotage!

Urgh. Ore. Fortunately there is still enough of a reserve. Operating at a deficit is still survivable.

In more ways than one.

The planet has been cleansed of pirate scum. It must now be put to good use.

But building more Outputs will put me deeper into deficit. (sadface)

But just waiting around while others are expanding... ugh. Society traitors like those of Corpore Metal freaks and PURGE don't care about physical pain, and the Mystics would often be too stoned to care. A sane rational servant of Theta Complex must be prepared to take risks... right?

There are rewards for this sort of thing? Computer?

Merit is readily translatable into credits.

That is somewhat comforting, since last I heard bribing your way up a clearance level is not illegal in Theta Complex.

That is correct.

Very well then. To the pain.

(bzaaaaaaaaaaaat!)

theeggstheyareboiliiiiiing!

 

[bluepencil]

TIMELAPSE. Memory reintegration in ten seconds.

Complete.

Seven hours. It takes five ticks for an outpost to complete and resources to filter in. Plus one hour for the Construction Frigate to move four hexes and reach the site.

Six hours that have been wiped from my mind. Excellent memory service, I must write a commendation for the MindScrub head swabs and BubblyBrainsRecycling Service Firm when this is over.

But now finally we are operating at a surplus again. Setting out with another Mining Satellite for a safety margin and another Laboratory due to the increase in Research points for advanced technologies.

Have withdrawn the Scout Fleet back to the Home Colony, glorious peaceful autocratic Mirror Alpha for reinforcement, behavioural and otherwise.

A more motivated fleet quickly stomps some more traitor mutant brigands in the face and claims another virgin planet for total debasement and shameless exploitation.

After activating the new Mining Satellite, the increase in surplus now requires some Factories to increase the rate of fleet production. A basic Outpost has a production value of 100. A Corvette has a production value of 75 and a Gunship of 100; said Outpost can only produce one of either per tick. Adding +50, said Outpost can now produce two Corvettes per tick, or four Gunships per three ticks.

Efficiency index up!

This is most vital for the early production of Frigates however (150 Production), since they're the best-armored ships available for now.

The other method of increasing Production rates is via upgrading Outposts to Station, and from thence to Colonies. I don't have the requisite research for those yet. There have been some insufficiently explainable explosions in Research. Not the satellites. The researchers.

Communist sabotage obviously.

 

[bluepencil]

It is not enough that worlds produce large amounts of the essential resources, but all hex territories (if not useless dead space) can be improved further by Surveying their contents for anything more that could be used to combat the vile communist threat.

Like in Theta Complex, things only really exist if the Computer pays any attention to it. To acknowledge unComplex activities is to condone them. This is treason. To see unComplex activities and to stop them, if not authorized by the Computer, is insubordination.

The continuing mission has finally earned the crew enough experience for promotions. The Captain has been killed and recycled in thanks for his long service. INFRAREDS who manage to go that far may end up being woken into RED-level citizens.

Among the Flagships, only the Scout Carrier has a native Level Upgrade that improves its speed. Its base movement rate is two, like larger more unwieldy Flagships. Upgrading Tactics until it gets +1 Speed would then allow it to keep pace with its Frigate escorts.

Surveying also occasionally produces chunks of material that can be refined and turned into Flagship components. This is useful because Flagship default weapons are somewhere between inutile and masochistic.

Hot laser death is a valuable commodity these days.

Mirror Alpha, as the Home Colony, starts off already upgraded to the furthest level. However, its assembly lines can still be improved. Each Factory adds +50 to a native 200 Production rate... so an end value of 300 Production should allow me to churn out four Corvettes, three Gunships, two Frigates, or a Destroyer and a Gunship per turn. Or any combination thereof.

Three (and three hundred) is a nice and beautiful number that has nothing to do with the Illuminati and their triangles. Yes, yes, nothing suspicious here at all.

 

[bluepencil]

The resource cap is too easy to reach, and that too is inefficiency. Soon enough I will have to face shortages anyway as the influx of raw material tapers off into a regular, predictable income and as more expensive ships become available. For now however, Tier One ships are dirt cheap and almost useless except for one. Basically I want to pump out as much of this ASAP, while other outposts focus on upgrading and churning out a Constructor Fleet.

Or should that be a Deconstructor Fleet? It's not like we're playing it straight with tropes here.

Finally, we can all now begin to think with portals.

Ohcrap this pack of pirates is proving more persistent than predicted. This is where more of the Pugs would have been useful, but instead reinforcing the embattled Fleet with a reserve Scout Fleet.

Must build more junk shave off inefficiency consume consume consume for the Complex!

 

[bluepencil]

Ugh (twitch) resistance was (twitch) much heavier than (twitch) expected, and I'm (twitch) bald now.

220 Volts is a nummy refreshing tonic food drink.

(It's the Amperes that's important)

For the sake of an efficient spread of production lines, even empty space must be seeded with Outposts.

The traitors, they grow in power. The recent setbacks against mere pirates threatens the happiness of Mirror Complex. This cannot stand.

I... cannot stand.

But it's not like walking was ever efficient in the first place. The Medicorps have already reserved for me a nifty refurbished hoverchair. Due to how movement is no longer limited to the speed by which legs must switch places, workload has been increased by 9%. This is a grant of trust and favor by the Computer. There are no Invalids in Theta Complex. They are executed and recycled. This is an expression of surprise and delight, not horror and despair.

Victory at last. This has to have been worth it! Of course!

 

[bluepencil]

At last, the basic Outposts can now be upgraded into Stations. This improves build rate and defenses, and finally allows INFRAREDs occasional access to classic cartoons. Sure, their morale is always at a drug-induced high, but watching them flail around trying to imitate slapstick antics improves MY morale.

Another Scout Carrier is being built to support the Border Patrol and for surveying purposes. More knowledge, more power!

Meanwhile the core of the primary fleet is the new Support Carrier (recently having survived that oddly proficient pirate fleet), which is utterly broken. Ships can be jumped TO the mobile Jump Gate inside the Support Carrier from any Settlement with a Jump Gate. There is of course the jump limit depending on the Outpost/Station/Colony energy reserves (100/150/200 respectively) but just splitting fleets onto several Jump gates means being able to go from a twenty thousand net worth recon fleet to two hundred thousand assault fleet in a single tick.

This is, in the parlance, hax.

This Outpost doesn't have a Jump Gate yet, but reinforcement proceeds apace from many different shipyards.

Duty calls, citizens!

 

[bluepencil]

Contact has been made with another Player. OHLANNAIMNOTREADY.

Expletive! Expletive! Gonna diee....!

Have the workers finished installing the Self-Destruct Mechanisms into the Lair? Must make sure there's no evidence.

>slice /d /t /r monitor.exe
Computer node 2352BWET-1H2A has been redirected

Computer, status check on me, please.

You have accumulated 12000 Infraction Points. You are in condition VERIDIAN.

You can see me, right? What am I doing?

You are holding up three fingers.

Excellent. I am most definitely NOT making a triangle with my index fingers and thumbs, as far as can be seen and heard electronically. Obviously, the data is the truth. The game you play, friend Computer, is with people's lives. Soon enough it won't matter.


Ugh, mah brain. Only two more charges left.

Rather than attacking straight-on through a pirate wall, my Scout Fleet has other more useful work to do. The raids have been tracked to this location. Anonymous no more, their pool will be closed.

Checking up on the Leaderboard hints that either this is a newcomer or someone who has joined and gone inactive.

Suspicious inactivity is suspicious.

Taking out pirate scum reveals that the expansion route is blocked two ways by BH-75's border. This requires a careful touch. To ask oneself 'What would Optimus Prime do?' is to betray CorpoMetal tendencies.

Ungh.

Getting more difficult to maintain focus... keep head in game... escape is-

 

[bluepencil]

Since there was no response to the hailing frequencies, expansion resumes. The presence of more than one Outpost shows that this Player was active at some point- then suddenly contact was lost.

Sabotage? Murder? Or escape?

NOWAITSTOP!

Whew, that's cutting it close. Managed to notice my idiocy just a few minutes before tick refresh.

Reinforce first, THEN charge/die. For the Empero-... ahem. For Computer and Complex!

Ugh. That hurt.

A lot.

This feedback thing is really starting to bite, mon.

I am puzzled by why the Pug gunships were left untouched. Perhaps there is a point to leaving first-tier fodder in the fleet.