The idea stemmed from a chance comment I saw on someone else's fic about Lily saying something to James Potter and it prompted a horrible, twisted idea in the back of my head. It was literally a one sentence story concept based upon this single line by Lily. Somehow, I ended up with 5000 words when I actually went to write out what was supposed to be a silly spamfic though.
Wrote it up, posted it in a couple places, then changed my mind and pulled it down because not everyone's mind is quite as twisted as mine. This keeps a lot of the stuff I liked though and leverages a Harry Potter trope to fill in the gap without being too horribly bland hopefully.
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I Would Rather...
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"Hey, Evans." James smiled and ran his hair through his hair, though Lily only caught it from the edge of her vision. She sighed audibly and didn't respond, let alone turn to face him. She didn't particularly want to let Potter see her red rimmed eyes. Maybe he would actually go away for once if she ignored him.
Moments later, he had plopped down beside her though, disregarding her obvious wishes. She continued to pay him a complete lack of attention, her hair draped over the book she had in her lap as she pretended to read.
"Evaaans. Merlin, Evans, can you hold a grudge. It's been hours." His voice was amused, though there was a trace of something else in it too. "Look, I came up to apologize and all. See if I can make it up to you. Maybe dinner?"
She refused to answer. Refused to be baited as he continued to throw off lines and attempt to entice her into an argument or a kiss. He didn't seem to care which.
So he pulled her hair.
That. Was. It.
She whirled on him in a rage, her concerns about her eyes and the emotional distress they might give away ignored. The anger causing color to bloom on her cheeks would likely distract from that anyway and she didn't particularly care what James thought of her anyway now that she thought about it.
"What is wrong with you, Potter!" Her hands clenched and the only reason she didn't actually attempt to hex him was the fact that he had his bully boys standing behind him. Sirius and Peter, the only one with a modicum of sense in the bunch being suspiciously absent. "Are you five years old, trying to get my attention by pulling my pigtails?"
He gave that same casual grin and said, "Pigtails? You'd look smashing in those and I'll pull them anytime you'd like."
"How... What did you not get when I said you make me sick, you disgusting, arrogant twit?" Her voice nearly cracked and her eyes flashed as she tried to get control of her emotions, but this day had been too much. She had lost her closest friend and this boy had been the direct cause. Severus wouldn't have had to turn to those pureblood bigots if these idiots hadn't chased him to them with their ceaseless attacks for five years straight.
Leaning forward, she stared into his eyes, ignoring his friends and hissed, "I don't know how you got into Gryffindor because you are a cowardly, bullying prat who wouldn't know true courage if it punched you in the face."
"Love you, too, Evans."
She almost screamed, but reined in her temper finally. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and calmed herself. Opening them again, she stared at James Potter and he looked back expectantly as the other Marauders looked on.
Calmly, she said, "I would rather date the giant squid than spend one more minute in your presence, James. Leave me alone."
And she left.
ooOoo
Prongs had laughed it off, but Sirius had seen that last jab, delivered without the usual passion that drove Lily's insults, had hurt him. As their mate went back up the stairs to the boys dorms, Padfoot reached over and wrangled Peter before he could follow.
"Hey, Pete."
"Yeah?" Wormtail looked over at Sirius before glancing back at the two separate stairs that James and Lily had used to leave.
Sirius took a breath. This prank might be over the edge, but she really did deserve it after that harrangue. Prongs was a bit arrogant sometimes, but he was a good bloke. "You're good at potions, right? Think you can pull off Amortentia?"
Peter pulled in a sharp breath, then glanced around. "Are you nuts, Padfoot? There's no way James will go for that-- if he was willing to resort to love potions he could brew them himself. Even Amortentia's not permanent anyway, it'll wear off in a few months."
"It's not for James." Sirius grinned maliciously. "I'm thinking we should take Evans at her word. See how she likes a little one-sided infatuation of her own."
Wormtail stared at him for a moment, then his eyes widened. "The... you're not serious, are you?" He giggled nervously, but Sirius could see the realization dawning even before he could reply.
"You should know by now, Pete. I'm always Sirius."
ooOoo
Closing her eyes, Lily cursed the cold that was going around yet again and looked down at the cloudy liquid swirling through the tea Marlene had brought her. Her nose was so stuffed up she couldn't smell what she was sure was a lovely scent, but it looked wonderful at least. It almost seemed to shine in the light and the steam wafted from the surface in a spiral. She could almost taste the tea just by breathing in that cloud despite her cold.
Putting it to her lips, she sipped then her eyes widened at the taste. This was... this was amazing. It was the best tea she had ever had by far. She had to ask Marlene for the recipe. She couldn't help herself and quickly drained the rest of the cup, then walked over to her friend.
"Marlene!" She shook her friends shoulder and the girl turned to her with a sleepy expression, raising her head from her pillow.
"Huh? What's up? Ready for that Pepper-Up Potion after all?"
Lily shook her head and held out the teacup. "No, I wanted to get your recipe for this tea. It was amazing, the best I've ever had-- I kind of wanted more if you had it."
"I didn't make it. It was supposed to have come from the kitchens," Marlene said slowly, eyeing her as she drooped with dissappointment. She looked a bit concerned.
"Oh." Lily fought back the disappointment, but she grew a touch concerned at Marlene's next words.
"Sirius gave it to me. He said he had an in with the house elves."
ooOoo
Sirius grinned to himself as he watched Lily sneak out of the classroom yet again. Her friends had apparently lost track of her. Looking around quickly, he shifted into his dog form and followed her at a distance with a steady lope.
As expected, she soon made her way out of the castle and down to the lake. It was a lovely day and worth the trip, particularly as he saw the girl that had caused James so much heart break drop to the ground to stare out over the placid waters with a forlorn sigh.
Snickering to himself, Sirius thought that this was probably worth the week or more that James wouldn't speak to him. It was so entirely perfect that he found himself out here watching Lily more often than he probably should. Particularly given the number of detentions he had to serve out yet for the prank. He needed a break from those periodically and no one was going to expect him out here.
Truth be told, after a month of escaping to watch Lily recite surprisingly good poetry to the giant squid, he could almost see what James saw in her. Her one sided monologues were surprisingly witty and amusing. He had no doubt that when the potion wore off, he was going to receive the hexing of his life based on how easily she evaded her handlers, but it had all been in good fun.
A ward around the lake, raised by Flitwick or Dumbledore, prevented anyone from entering the waters, so his prank had turned out almost exactly how he'd hoped. Well, aside from the fact that he had single handedly shut down the swimming season for Hogwarts. That hadn't made him a lot of friends.
He was enjoying just laying about in the sun and listening to Lily's voice when his eyes snapped open. It had gotten quiet suddenly... and dark. Looking at the ward line, his eyes widened as he watched it spark and crackle under the influence of whatever the daft girl had gotten up to while he was half dozing in the sun.
He had known Lily hung out with Snivellus, but she had gotten into some very public arguments about Dark magic with him. She was almost as adamantly against the stuff as him. Apparently he had underestimated how much she learned from her former friend though. He was already on his feet even as he thought it, but he suspected that interupting whatever this ritual was supposed to do was probably going to hurt.
ooOoo
Lily stared at the scar on her stomach wondering what she had been thinking.
The Amortentia had worn off earlier this week to the general rejoicing of her friends and she had taken the time to put Sirius into the Hospital Wing, something he had accepted with an unusually serious expression and a complete lack of resistance. Twice.
Her memories of the last couple months were... fuzzy.
However, she remembered a rough outline. She had understood her feelings were magically induced, but they had been stronger than anything she had ever felt prior to that. And she had come up with a plan to reach her "love". She had been surprisingly sneaky, enough that she wondered if she wouldn't have gone to Slytherin along with Severus if it weren't for their contempt for muggleborns.
There had been trips to the Restricted Section of the library, theft from Slughorn's supplies, and she was fairly certain she had uncovered the fact that Sirius Black was an unregistered Animagus and blackmailed him with it.
The end result was... this. She laid a hand over her stomach where she had spilled her own blood and wondered what was going to happen to her. Amortentia or no, this was... Dark magic wasn't something that someone her age was supposed to know intimately enough to use against a ward cast by wizards of Flitwick's calibre, let alone Dumbledore's. They would excuse it readily enough as the result of the obsession, but people would know.
And... she wanted more, too. She licked her lips. This was why she had argued so much with Severus. Dark magic could be... intoxicating. Almost as good as the Amortentia had tasted honestly, though different senses.
Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door opening and she quickly pulled her robes shut again and spun, her wand out. When Sirius stepped through the doors she almost started casting again then and there as her temper flared, but his expression and the fact that he had his hands up to show he wasn't holding his wand checked her actions.
"I just want to talk," Sirius said. He had a hangdog expression on his face, the thought of which almost sent her into hysterical giggles when she remembered his Animagus form, and was generally speaking more serious looking than she had ever seen. With the possible exception of when she had attacked him in a fury earlier in the week.
She gestured sharply with her wand and said, "Fine, talk."
"First. I wanted to apologize," he said, dropping his hands to his sides. "It wouldn't have meant anything to you while the potion was still in your system, but... I did want to say I'm sorry. Whatever that is worth." He shrugged and his robes wavered a bit-- she thought he might have lost weight. His face and cheek bones were a little more well defined and his robes didn't fit quite as well as they normally did.
She made a noncommital noise in response to the apology and he just nodded slightly, like he wasn't expecting anything more.
"Second, I wanted to let you know that... well, I've seen you slipping away. And I think I know why. I was there after all. I don't expect you want to talk about it, but I'm here if you do." That elicited another moment of rage for her, but he didn't stop talking so she didn't have a chance to lay into him for the presumption. "I did some more research on Amortentia in the last month or so and realized just how badly I messed up."
He took a deep breath and then looked up, his silvery gray eyes meeting and locking with hers before continuing. "Everyone knows it's the best love potion, the one that lasts the longest and has the best effect. I didn't realize exactly how that worked though-- the obsession."
He scrubbed a hand through his hair and slumped back against the wall. "I was stupid. Really, really stupid. I wanted you to feel a bit of what James feels when you shoot him down so hard. I can't stress enough how stupid I was. I resented what you were doing to him, but I still didn't want to put you in a situation where you could be taken advantage of-- so when you made that comment... Well, the plan just kind of gelled in my mind."
"Comment?" She wasn't sure why she cared, but the question had slipped out.
Sirius barked out a self-deprecating laugh. "Should have known you wouldn't remember. You said, 'I would rather date the giant squid, than spend time with you'. Or something like that anyway, I don't really remember exactly myself. It was the same stuff you're always saying, just a touch meaner."
He shrugged again, his eyes still on the ground. "So anyway, I thought... why not do that. She'll feel the whole one-sided infatuation thing, we all get a laugh, and nothing happens. Except it did and it lasted longer than I expected since we only gave you a fraction of dose." He sighed. "I don't know for sure what that ritual you performed that day did, but after reading up on Amortentia after the threats you made I can guess it wasn't anything you'd choose to do now. It looked... Dark, really, really Dark."
Lily let out the bitter laughter that welled up at this turn of events. It wasn't funny exactly, but probably the last person she really wanted to know about this and he had actually seen her and put the dots together. Except he was wrong about one thing, it was something she would do now. She knew it was only a matter of time. It wasn't until she felt the tears drop onto her hands that she realized she was crying now and she looked up to see Sirius looking surprisingly helpless.
Taking a deep breath, she let it out and then said the words that she had been avoiding since the potion faded away. "It doesn't matter. It wasn't just the Amortentia, I... Severus wasn't the only one who studied Dark magic. He... wasn't even the one who took the first step. They'll know now though, the effects at that ritual site are going to take weeks to clean up."
She smiled bitterly. Her chances of employment with certain segments had just plummeted... and people who would hire someone with her proclivities wouldn't touch a "mudblood".
Getting the words out was like pushing a lead weight off of her chest. Sirius wasn't surprised though and just nodded. No overt signs of disgust or horror, though perhaps he had gotten that out of the way earlier. He had certainly had time-- he must have put this together weeks ago.
"I have a plan for that." She blinked, startled. She hadn't expected anything from Sirius, let alone actual input. She had been honestly surprised to hear him apologize and him making amends somehow was the furthest thing from her mind.
She was tempted to throw his words back in his face, but... She had been flailing with this problem for a week and hadn't come up with a solid plan to avoid ruining her life. This, combined with her muggleborn status... it would ruin her. She would never be accepted in Wizarding society. She would either be a dark witch or a "mudblood"-- the pair together would bar her from nearly every walk of life available.
There was silence for a minute as he let her grapple with it, but she finally said, "I'm listening."
ooOoo
Sirius took a deep breath as he stepped onto the island of Azkaban, flanked by two Aurors. The place was depressingly gray and he suspected this was the nice part. The clouds above were slate gray and the sea a grey-ish blue that screamed "cold". The island itself was a dark gray that was almost black and maybe forty or fifty degrees at best during the summer. He understood it would be bitingly cold during the winter.
He shouldn't be here then, but that was only because of Lily Evans.
The use of Amortentia was not illegal and his detentions had been the extent of his punishment at Hogwarts and under the law for the prank he played on the muggleborn witch. When he confessed to actually using the Amortentia to influence her into helping him with a failed dark ritual. Well, that was another thing altogether.
All told, his plan had gone off smashingly. And he had expected to spend the next year of his life rotting in Azkaban. It made it possible for Lily to get the help she needed to fight the addiction safely though and kept her reputation intact-- she had simply been forced to assist the horrible Black scion with his diabolical plans.
It had been a good plan and went off as flawlessly as any of the pranks he planned up until the sentencing. When Lily had actually pled for leniency for him and claimed she felt he deserved a chance to turn around as well. That she had been impressed by the responsibility he showed and felt he had learned a valuable lesson.
He had thought she was going to blow the whole thing, but her words had gotten him a reduced sentence that amounted to an entire summer spent in Azkaban and heavy parole restrictions after.
His pranking days at Hogwarts were done if he didn't want to return to this wonderful little vacation spot in the future. He couldn't say it was a bad trade off though. Sitting in a class room with a bunch of likely court mandated dark wizards without being able to prank them on the other hand probably constituted cruel and unusual punishment.
ooOoo
Lily took a deep breath, concentrating on the Occlumency lessons and trying to ignore the expression of exagerrated ennui on the face of the man that had gotten her into these classes and his melodramatic moans.
Cracking one eye, she glanced over at Sirius and wondered slightly at the changes two years could make in a man. Sirius had demonstrated a level of responsibility and maturity after he returned from his imprisonment that had frankly astonished her. Not that he didn't still joke and have the same dark sense of humor that had gotten him in trouble, but he kept it contained.
He had, in many ways, replaced Severus as her best friend when he returned.
While he felt he owed her what he had sacrificed, she had understood that he could have gotten away with doing nothing at all. And she had felt gratitude. It had grated on her since he was in large part responsible in the first place and she had taken that out on him by picking fights. And, guilt or not, Sirius Black was not one to back down from a challenge. Their arguments had annoyed their room mates and most of Gryffindor, but by the time they both backed down she had felt more comfortable with Sirius than most of the other 6th years.
She blamed that feeling of being indebted to him for confusing her so she decided she would give him what he had originally wanted and dated James Potter. That would be sufficient payment, particularly if she could repair the cracks in the friendship that Sirius had with the boy in the process. He had actually kept her secret even from the other Marauders. And while they didn't buy his claims of knowing Dark magic, the secret had still strained their friendship.
By Christmas break she was done with that and as it turned out, so was James, because he broke up with her. She hadn't seen that coming honestly, but it was mostly amiable and they ended as friends. It hadn't quite worked as she wanted it to anyway. Sirius and James were closer, but the dog Animagus had been peevish the entire time she had been dating his friend.
Accepting that she would just have to let her emotions do what they would, she had moved on. And eventually, they ended up here. The last mandated session for Sirius, after which she would be coming to these sessions alone again. It had been nice to have a friend beside her, but she would survive on her own. She would still see Sirius. Probably, though without Hogwarts who knew how long he would stick around.
ooOoo
Sirius took a deep breath, then opened the door to the meeting of Dark Wizards, ne'er do wells, and other generally horrible people. It took a few moments for his presence to register and most looked at him and then turned back to the front with nary a thought. And to be fair, to them, this was just another week.
When he saw a red head glance over, then break into a blinding smile, he felt that some things might just be worth a bit of boredom. While he would rather be almost anywhere else, there wasn't really anyone whom he would rather be with.
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Author's Notes
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This is a slightly cut down version of the original fic, but it doesn't work too badly I suppose.
This turned out a lot longer than I was really planning and ended up being more about a Lily and Sirius pairing (whether best friends or potentially romantic, I never really decided myself) than it did about the original premise. Which was solely me reading a line not unlike the one in this fic: "I would rather date the giant squid than you, James Potter".
That prompted unfortunate thoughts and this is ultimately the end result. Well, that's not quite true... the original end result I decided not to post. If anyone is particularly interested in the version of this that fused with Assassination Classroom, just let me know though.
Wrote it up, posted it in a couple places, then changed my mind and pulled it down because not everyone's mind is quite as twisted as mine. This keeps a lot of the stuff I liked though and leverages a Harry Potter trope to fill in the gap without being too horribly bland hopefully.
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I Would Rather...
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"Hey, Evans." James smiled and ran his hair through his hair, though Lily only caught it from the edge of her vision. She sighed audibly and didn't respond, let alone turn to face him. She didn't particularly want to let Potter see her red rimmed eyes. Maybe he would actually go away for once if she ignored him.
Moments later, he had plopped down beside her though, disregarding her obvious wishes. She continued to pay him a complete lack of attention, her hair draped over the book she had in her lap as she pretended to read.
"Evaaans. Merlin, Evans, can you hold a grudge. It's been hours." His voice was amused, though there was a trace of something else in it too. "Look, I came up to apologize and all. See if I can make it up to you. Maybe dinner?"
She refused to answer. Refused to be baited as he continued to throw off lines and attempt to entice her into an argument or a kiss. He didn't seem to care which.
So he pulled her hair.
That. Was. It.
She whirled on him in a rage, her concerns about her eyes and the emotional distress they might give away ignored. The anger causing color to bloom on her cheeks would likely distract from that anyway and she didn't particularly care what James thought of her anyway now that she thought about it.
"What is wrong with you, Potter!" Her hands clenched and the only reason she didn't actually attempt to hex him was the fact that he had his bully boys standing behind him. Sirius and Peter, the only one with a modicum of sense in the bunch being suspiciously absent. "Are you five years old, trying to get my attention by pulling my pigtails?"
He gave that same casual grin and said, "Pigtails? You'd look smashing in those and I'll pull them anytime you'd like."
"How... What did you not get when I said you make me sick, you disgusting, arrogant twit?" Her voice nearly cracked and her eyes flashed as she tried to get control of her emotions, but this day had been too much. She had lost her closest friend and this boy had been the direct cause. Severus wouldn't have had to turn to those pureblood bigots if these idiots hadn't chased him to them with their ceaseless attacks for five years straight.
Leaning forward, she stared into his eyes, ignoring his friends and hissed, "I don't know how you got into Gryffindor because you are a cowardly, bullying prat who wouldn't know true courage if it punched you in the face."
"Love you, too, Evans."
She almost screamed, but reined in her temper finally. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and calmed herself. Opening them again, she stared at James Potter and he looked back expectantly as the other Marauders looked on.
Calmly, she said, "I would rather date the giant squid than spend one more minute in your presence, James. Leave me alone."
And she left.
ooOoo
Prongs had laughed it off, but Sirius had seen that last jab, delivered without the usual passion that drove Lily's insults, had hurt him. As their mate went back up the stairs to the boys dorms, Padfoot reached over and wrangled Peter before he could follow.
"Hey, Pete."
"Yeah?" Wormtail looked over at Sirius before glancing back at the two separate stairs that James and Lily had used to leave.
Sirius took a breath. This prank might be over the edge, but she really did deserve it after that harrangue. Prongs was a bit arrogant sometimes, but he was a good bloke. "You're good at potions, right? Think you can pull off Amortentia?"
Peter pulled in a sharp breath, then glanced around. "Are you nuts, Padfoot? There's no way James will go for that-- if he was willing to resort to love potions he could brew them himself. Even Amortentia's not permanent anyway, it'll wear off in a few months."
"It's not for James." Sirius grinned maliciously. "I'm thinking we should take Evans at her word. See how she likes a little one-sided infatuation of her own."
Wormtail stared at him for a moment, then his eyes widened. "The... you're not serious, are you?" He giggled nervously, but Sirius could see the realization dawning even before he could reply.
"You should know by now, Pete. I'm always Sirius."
ooOoo
Closing her eyes, Lily cursed the cold that was going around yet again and looked down at the cloudy liquid swirling through the tea Marlene had brought her. Her nose was so stuffed up she couldn't smell what she was sure was a lovely scent, but it looked wonderful at least. It almost seemed to shine in the light and the steam wafted from the surface in a spiral. She could almost taste the tea just by breathing in that cloud despite her cold.
Putting it to her lips, she sipped then her eyes widened at the taste. This was... this was amazing. It was the best tea she had ever had by far. She had to ask Marlene for the recipe. She couldn't help herself and quickly drained the rest of the cup, then walked over to her friend.
"Marlene!" She shook her friends shoulder and the girl turned to her with a sleepy expression, raising her head from her pillow.
"Huh? What's up? Ready for that Pepper-Up Potion after all?"
Lily shook her head and held out the teacup. "No, I wanted to get your recipe for this tea. It was amazing, the best I've ever had-- I kind of wanted more if you had it."
"I didn't make it. It was supposed to have come from the kitchens," Marlene said slowly, eyeing her as she drooped with dissappointment. She looked a bit concerned.
"Oh." Lily fought back the disappointment, but she grew a touch concerned at Marlene's next words.
"Sirius gave it to me. He said he had an in with the house elves."
ooOoo
Sirius grinned to himself as he watched Lily sneak out of the classroom yet again. Her friends had apparently lost track of her. Looking around quickly, he shifted into his dog form and followed her at a distance with a steady lope.
As expected, she soon made her way out of the castle and down to the lake. It was a lovely day and worth the trip, particularly as he saw the girl that had caused James so much heart break drop to the ground to stare out over the placid waters with a forlorn sigh.
Snickering to himself, Sirius thought that this was probably worth the week or more that James wouldn't speak to him. It was so entirely perfect that he found himself out here watching Lily more often than he probably should. Particularly given the number of detentions he had to serve out yet for the prank. He needed a break from those periodically and no one was going to expect him out here.
Truth be told, after a month of escaping to watch Lily recite surprisingly good poetry to the giant squid, he could almost see what James saw in her. Her one sided monologues were surprisingly witty and amusing. He had no doubt that when the potion wore off, he was going to receive the hexing of his life based on how easily she evaded her handlers, but it had all been in good fun.
A ward around the lake, raised by Flitwick or Dumbledore, prevented anyone from entering the waters, so his prank had turned out almost exactly how he'd hoped. Well, aside from the fact that he had single handedly shut down the swimming season for Hogwarts. That hadn't made him a lot of friends.
He was enjoying just laying about in the sun and listening to Lily's voice when his eyes snapped open. It had gotten quiet suddenly... and dark. Looking at the ward line, his eyes widened as he watched it spark and crackle under the influence of whatever the daft girl had gotten up to while he was half dozing in the sun.
He had known Lily hung out with Snivellus, but she had gotten into some very public arguments about Dark magic with him. She was almost as adamantly against the stuff as him. Apparently he had underestimated how much she learned from her former friend though. He was already on his feet even as he thought it, but he suspected that interupting whatever this ritual was supposed to do was probably going to hurt.
ooOoo
Lily stared at the scar on her stomach wondering what she had been thinking.
The Amortentia had worn off earlier this week to the general rejoicing of her friends and she had taken the time to put Sirius into the Hospital Wing, something he had accepted with an unusually serious expression and a complete lack of resistance. Twice.
Her memories of the last couple months were... fuzzy.
However, she remembered a rough outline. She had understood her feelings were magically induced, but they had been stronger than anything she had ever felt prior to that. And she had come up with a plan to reach her "love". She had been surprisingly sneaky, enough that she wondered if she wouldn't have gone to Slytherin along with Severus if it weren't for their contempt for muggleborns.
There had been trips to the Restricted Section of the library, theft from Slughorn's supplies, and she was fairly certain she had uncovered the fact that Sirius Black was an unregistered Animagus and blackmailed him with it.
The end result was... this. She laid a hand over her stomach where she had spilled her own blood and wondered what was going to happen to her. Amortentia or no, this was... Dark magic wasn't something that someone her age was supposed to know intimately enough to use against a ward cast by wizards of Flitwick's calibre, let alone Dumbledore's. They would excuse it readily enough as the result of the obsession, but people would know.
And... she wanted more, too. She licked her lips. This was why she had argued so much with Severus. Dark magic could be... intoxicating. Almost as good as the Amortentia had tasted honestly, though different senses.
Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door opening and she quickly pulled her robes shut again and spun, her wand out. When Sirius stepped through the doors she almost started casting again then and there as her temper flared, but his expression and the fact that he had his hands up to show he wasn't holding his wand checked her actions.
"I just want to talk," Sirius said. He had a hangdog expression on his face, the thought of which almost sent her into hysterical giggles when she remembered his Animagus form, and was generally speaking more serious looking than she had ever seen. With the possible exception of when she had attacked him in a fury earlier in the week.
She gestured sharply with her wand and said, "Fine, talk."
"First. I wanted to apologize," he said, dropping his hands to his sides. "It wouldn't have meant anything to you while the potion was still in your system, but... I did want to say I'm sorry. Whatever that is worth." He shrugged and his robes wavered a bit-- she thought he might have lost weight. His face and cheek bones were a little more well defined and his robes didn't fit quite as well as they normally did.
She made a noncommital noise in response to the apology and he just nodded slightly, like he wasn't expecting anything more.
"Second, I wanted to let you know that... well, I've seen you slipping away. And I think I know why. I was there after all. I don't expect you want to talk about it, but I'm here if you do." That elicited another moment of rage for her, but he didn't stop talking so she didn't have a chance to lay into him for the presumption. "I did some more research on Amortentia in the last month or so and realized just how badly I messed up."
He took a deep breath and then looked up, his silvery gray eyes meeting and locking with hers before continuing. "Everyone knows it's the best love potion, the one that lasts the longest and has the best effect. I didn't realize exactly how that worked though-- the obsession."
He scrubbed a hand through his hair and slumped back against the wall. "I was stupid. Really, really stupid. I wanted you to feel a bit of what James feels when you shoot him down so hard. I can't stress enough how stupid I was. I resented what you were doing to him, but I still didn't want to put you in a situation where you could be taken advantage of-- so when you made that comment... Well, the plan just kind of gelled in my mind."
"Comment?" She wasn't sure why she cared, but the question had slipped out.
Sirius barked out a self-deprecating laugh. "Should have known you wouldn't remember. You said, 'I would rather date the giant squid, than spend time with you'. Or something like that anyway, I don't really remember exactly myself. It was the same stuff you're always saying, just a touch meaner."
He shrugged again, his eyes still on the ground. "So anyway, I thought... why not do that. She'll feel the whole one-sided infatuation thing, we all get a laugh, and nothing happens. Except it did and it lasted longer than I expected since we only gave you a fraction of dose." He sighed. "I don't know for sure what that ritual you performed that day did, but after reading up on Amortentia after the threats you made I can guess it wasn't anything you'd choose to do now. It looked... Dark, really, really Dark."
Lily let out the bitter laughter that welled up at this turn of events. It wasn't funny exactly, but probably the last person she really wanted to know about this and he had actually seen her and put the dots together. Except he was wrong about one thing, it was something she would do now. She knew it was only a matter of time. It wasn't until she felt the tears drop onto her hands that she realized she was crying now and she looked up to see Sirius looking surprisingly helpless.
Taking a deep breath, she let it out and then said the words that she had been avoiding since the potion faded away. "It doesn't matter. It wasn't just the Amortentia, I... Severus wasn't the only one who studied Dark magic. He... wasn't even the one who took the first step. They'll know now though, the effects at that ritual site are going to take weeks to clean up."
She smiled bitterly. Her chances of employment with certain segments had just plummeted... and people who would hire someone with her proclivities wouldn't touch a "mudblood".
Getting the words out was like pushing a lead weight off of her chest. Sirius wasn't surprised though and just nodded. No overt signs of disgust or horror, though perhaps he had gotten that out of the way earlier. He had certainly had time-- he must have put this together weeks ago.
"I have a plan for that." She blinked, startled. She hadn't expected anything from Sirius, let alone actual input. She had been honestly surprised to hear him apologize and him making amends somehow was the furthest thing from her mind.
She was tempted to throw his words back in his face, but... She had been flailing with this problem for a week and hadn't come up with a solid plan to avoid ruining her life. This, combined with her muggleborn status... it would ruin her. She would never be accepted in Wizarding society. She would either be a dark witch or a "mudblood"-- the pair together would bar her from nearly every walk of life available.
There was silence for a minute as he let her grapple with it, but she finally said, "I'm listening."
ooOoo
Sirius took a deep breath as he stepped onto the island of Azkaban, flanked by two Aurors. The place was depressingly gray and he suspected this was the nice part. The clouds above were slate gray and the sea a grey-ish blue that screamed "cold". The island itself was a dark gray that was almost black and maybe forty or fifty degrees at best during the summer. He understood it would be bitingly cold during the winter.
He shouldn't be here then, but that was only because of Lily Evans.
The use of Amortentia was not illegal and his detentions had been the extent of his punishment at Hogwarts and under the law for the prank he played on the muggleborn witch. When he confessed to actually using the Amortentia to influence her into helping him with a failed dark ritual. Well, that was another thing altogether.
All told, his plan had gone off smashingly. And he had expected to spend the next year of his life rotting in Azkaban. It made it possible for Lily to get the help she needed to fight the addiction safely though and kept her reputation intact-- she had simply been forced to assist the horrible Black scion with his diabolical plans.
It had been a good plan and went off as flawlessly as any of the pranks he planned up until the sentencing. When Lily had actually pled for leniency for him and claimed she felt he deserved a chance to turn around as well. That she had been impressed by the responsibility he showed and felt he had learned a valuable lesson.
He had thought she was going to blow the whole thing, but her words had gotten him a reduced sentence that amounted to an entire summer spent in Azkaban and heavy parole restrictions after.
His pranking days at Hogwarts were done if he didn't want to return to this wonderful little vacation spot in the future. He couldn't say it was a bad trade off though. Sitting in a class room with a bunch of likely court mandated dark wizards without being able to prank them on the other hand probably constituted cruel and unusual punishment.
ooOoo
Lily took a deep breath, concentrating on the Occlumency lessons and trying to ignore the expression of exagerrated ennui on the face of the man that had gotten her into these classes and his melodramatic moans.
Cracking one eye, she glanced over at Sirius and wondered slightly at the changes two years could make in a man. Sirius had demonstrated a level of responsibility and maturity after he returned from his imprisonment that had frankly astonished her. Not that he didn't still joke and have the same dark sense of humor that had gotten him in trouble, but he kept it contained.
He had, in many ways, replaced Severus as her best friend when he returned.
While he felt he owed her what he had sacrificed, she had understood that he could have gotten away with doing nothing at all. And she had felt gratitude. It had grated on her since he was in large part responsible in the first place and she had taken that out on him by picking fights. And, guilt or not, Sirius Black was not one to back down from a challenge. Their arguments had annoyed their room mates and most of Gryffindor, but by the time they both backed down she had felt more comfortable with Sirius than most of the other 6th years.
She blamed that feeling of being indebted to him for confusing her so she decided she would give him what he had originally wanted and dated James Potter. That would be sufficient payment, particularly if she could repair the cracks in the friendship that Sirius had with the boy in the process. He had actually kept her secret even from the other Marauders. And while they didn't buy his claims of knowing Dark magic, the secret had still strained their friendship.
By Christmas break she was done with that and as it turned out, so was James, because he broke up with her. She hadn't seen that coming honestly, but it was mostly amiable and they ended as friends. It hadn't quite worked as she wanted it to anyway. Sirius and James were closer, but the dog Animagus had been peevish the entire time she had been dating his friend.
Accepting that she would just have to let her emotions do what they would, she had moved on. And eventually, they ended up here. The last mandated session for Sirius, after which she would be coming to these sessions alone again. It had been nice to have a friend beside her, but she would survive on her own. She would still see Sirius. Probably, though without Hogwarts who knew how long he would stick around.
ooOoo
Sirius took a deep breath, then opened the door to the meeting of Dark Wizards, ne'er do wells, and other generally horrible people. It took a few moments for his presence to register and most looked at him and then turned back to the front with nary a thought. And to be fair, to them, this was just another week.
When he saw a red head glance over, then break into a blinding smile, he felt that some things might just be worth a bit of boredom. While he would rather be almost anywhere else, there wasn't really anyone whom he would rather be with.
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Author's Notes
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This is a slightly cut down version of the original fic, but it doesn't work too badly I suppose.
This turned out a lot longer than I was really planning and ended up being more about a Lily and Sirius pairing (whether best friends or potentially romantic, I never really decided myself) than it did about the original premise. Which was solely me reading a line not unlike the one in this fic: "I would rather date the giant squid than you, James Potter".
That prompted unfortunate thoughts and this is ultimately the end result. Well, that's not quite true... the original end result I decided not to post. If anyone is particularly interested in the version of this that fused with Assassination Classroom, just let me know though.
I'll probably keep this one for friends. I may butcher it and cut out the Assassination Classroom fusion and have some other consequence of the prank though. I did like the bits between Sirius and Lily. Just not sure what else would actually work in its place without significant rework.