Naruto Inner Voice 3

[Innortal]

The Naruto Omake Files: Innortal Style
Chapter 3
Silence of the Inner Voice


Disclaimer: I donÆt own this series or any other series. I am just floating an idea. I am making no money, nor plan to, off this venture. If you think of suing me over this, then grow up.

I would like to first personally thank all of those reviewing my stories. I enjoy reading your comments, and try to correct the grammatical errors I miss with my final read-through as well as my spell checkers. The suggestions you all make will help make this story better for everyone to enjoy, as well as allow my to fix some plot holes I may unintentionally leave. If you find any, let me know, and I will correct them and repost the chapters.

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Quick note: Inner voices will be done ôlike this.ö

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ôWhat the hell are we doing up here?ö asked a young Orochimaru, sitting beside his white-haired teammate.

ôResearch and experimentation,ö answered the young Jiraiya.

ôYou mean I work on seals and you stare at the females in the public bathes,ö muttered the pale skinned genin.

Jiraiya smirked as he held up a second pair of binoculars. ôYou could help me in my research?ö

Orochimaru glared at him, before taking the offered binoculars. ôWell then, explain how we are going to practice making seals? I didnÆt bring any paper, and you barely remember to bring what you write on.ö

Smirking, Jiraiya patted the rooftop. ôThe ninja way is to use what you have available. WeÆll use these tiles.ö

ôThe tiles?ö

ôYes, the tiles.ö

Orochimaru sighed. Why was he always teamed up with losers? Sometimes, I have to wonder if theyÆll eventually drive me insane.

Man, if he only knew...

Smirking, Jiraiya quickly looked off towards the bathes, as Orochimaru slowly joined him. ôI will admit ... this is somewhat enjoyable,ö slowly said the snake genin.

ôI just hope Tsunade doesnÆt bathe there today,ö muttered Jiraiya. ôIÆd rather not see that black hole she calls a chest.ö

ôOh really,ö said an angry feminine voice.

The two males gulped, as they slowly lowered their binoculars, and turned to face the woman in question.

ôItÆs all his fault!ö yelled out Orochimaru, desperately trying to save his own ass.

ôTraitor!ö yelled Jiraiya, as he took off running, the angry Tsunade in hot pursuit.

ôCOME BACK HERE, YOU BASTARD!ö

Orochimaru just chuckled as he sat back down and lifted the binoculars to his head, switching between following what would be a grand beating on his rival, and the women in the bath. ôAh, I live for days like this.

ôI just wish he would use papers. These tiles are covered with his chicken-scratch.ö

Before he could resume his viewing pleasure, one particular tile caught his attention. ôIdiot didnÆt even finish them.ö Fixing what he thought was an unfinished tile; he nodded before resuming his viewing. ôBeating or girls, beating or girls; what to watch?ö

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Present...

ôI should have destroyed that roof while I had the chance,ö muttered Tsunade, as she slowly sat up on her bed. ôI mean, I knew he was up to no good, and that place always gave him the best perch to peek at people bathing, but no; I had to be a good little ninja and not needlessly destroy property in the village.ö

Shaking her head, she slowly stood up. ôI guess we all have our follies of youth. I mean, who knew whatever he did would actually work. Jiraiya sucked at seals like that when he was that age. I figured he just liked to doodle while peeping in on the bathing girls.ö

Shaking her head, she turned back to the bed. ôWell, I gotta go find that letch and get him to fix this. IÆll see you later, stud.ö Smirking, she left.

Now, for those wondering what in the Nine Hells is going on here, it is quite simple.

Tsunade, being stressed out from the work of a Hokage, as well as both the search for Jiraiya as well as the scene with the contingent from the Sand Village, found herself exhausted, and thought her head would look better on the desk, sleeping.

The result was she head-butted the tile, and received the seal.

Before she could warn anyone what had just occurred, that was the moment that Kakashi entered her office to report on the search.

Needless to say, Tsunade experienced a sudden drop in her control.

Which is why we can now find Kakashi severely dehydrated, pale, swollenùTsunade isnÆt one for soft loveùand slowly looking over at his copy of Ichi Ichi Paradise. He wasnÆt sure whether he should curse the author of the book, or thank him for the time of his life.

If Tsunade had dropped her genjutsu, weÆd all know the answer to that one.

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ôPsst,ö came a call from a bush near the LeeÆs Dojo. ôFuzzy-brows, you there?ö

The taijutsu master slowly peeked out of his door. ôNaruto-kun, is that you?ö

The blond nodded, still hiding in the bushes of what he hoped wasnÆt poison ivy. ôCan you hide me? SakuraÆs gone crazy, and I need some clothes. Mine sort of ... exploded off me.ö

ôAh,ö said Lee, ôyour clothes could not contain your youthful energies. Come then, I have an extra set of clothes Gai-sensei gave to me, so that I could pass them on to my next student as well.ö

That brought a smile to NarutoÆs face. After all, he had always wanted to try on that green jumpsuit, but Kakashi and Jiraiya always burned the thing before he could.

Very weird ...

ôOkay then,ö said the blond, ôwhere can I change?ö

ôI have a changing room in back, you can use that.ö

Nodding, the demon fox container made his way inside.

ôDamn it kit, youÆll never get laid wearing that!ö

Sadly, not everyone agreed with his new choice of clothes, but Naruto felt it was better than running around naked.

ôYou should, let the females see who is the best male. You ever see a clothed animal ... aside from the ones you summon? Nope, naked is natural.ö

Naruto paused to rub his forehead. CanÆt you go back to threatening me and wanting to kill?

ôI donÆt know? Can you stop being a pussy and get some? Damn it kit, IÆm dying here!ö

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Tenten sighed as she rubbed her head, walking away from her short battle with Dark Mistress Sakura. ôShe didnÆt need to head butt me,ö she murmured, hoping she didnÆt have a concussion. With most of the village now either looking for the perverted Sennin or trying to locate and capture Sakura, it was doubtful many people were left in the hospital to take care of her.

ôMan, where am I anyway,ö she muttered, looking around the path. ôWait, isnÆt this the way to LeeÆs Dojo?ö she wondered aloud.

She smiled at that. Not only would she be able to get some help for her headache; but since Lee was always there practicing, sheÆd be able to watch.

ôYeah, and when he takes off his sweaty shirt, those rippling muscles...ö

Nodding in agreement with her inner voice, she continued onward. Strangely, she didnÆt find these thoughts odd.

Makes you wonder whatÆs usually going through her mind.

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Lee continued to try and beat his personal best record for continuous hand-stand pushups while holding an extra fifty kilograms by his feetùand thus was the reason Naruto was now mentally arguing with the Demon Fox about exactly how badly the boy needed laid, or if even Gai had ever been laid.

ôNow thatÆs what I like to see.ö

Pausing in his quest, Lee arched his head up. ôAh, Tenten, have you come to work on your youthful fire as well?ö

The kunoichi smiled as she fiddled with the ties on her shirt. ôYou ... could say that.ö

ôAh, excellent,ö said Lee, finishing his last set of pushups before standing. ôGai-sensei has imparted unto me his knowledge of how to properly train our fires of youth for their greatest potentials. What would you like to work on ... today ... um...ö he trailed off, as Tenten was now minus her shirt, revealing a bra-clad chest.

ôI have my own exercises in mind,ö she smiled, as she slowly walked over to the stunned ninja.

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ôIÆm telling you kit, if you keep acting like this, youÆll be like them and youÆll never see any tail ... unless they fixed themselves.

ôYOU BETTER NOT GET US FIXED, KIT!ö

Naruto cringed. He didnÆt even know what ægetting fixedÆ was, but if it would get the damn kyuubi off his back, it had possibilities then.





*****Not yet finished...

 

[nuclear death frog]

Which is why we can now find Kakashi severely dehydrated, pale, swollenùTsunade isnÆt one for soft loveùand slowly looking over at his copy of Ichi Ichi Paradise. He wasnÆt sure whether he should curse the author of the book, or thank him for the time of his life.

If Tsunade had dropped her genjutsu, weÆd all know the answer to that one.

Tsunade's appearance is not genjutsu. If it were genjutsu, it would be dispelled from simple physical pain. It isn't.

 

[Shikaze]

It is a Genjutsu, as shown in the aftermath of the battle between the three sannin, but a heavily modified one, though we don't get an explanation for it, as usual with Kishimoto.

 

[ttestagr]

It is not a genjutsu. During that scene you mentioned, it took three panels for her to turn old and you see the process. If it was genjutsu, the illusion would have simply dropped and you'd see her as young one moment and old the next. In that scene she actually aged, and very quickly. Therefore her technique is actually her forcing her body to stay young, which kicks ass.

 

[EagleCeres]

'getting fixed' ooooh... i dont know, but i'd rather listen to that voice in my head instead of getting fixed

is it possible 'ol fuzzy eyebrows is gonna get lucky before any of the other Rookie 9??? (go TenTen!)

and Kakashi got tagged by the smexy 5th Hokage... yes he better damn be glad that technique didnt power down :snigger:
AFAIK Tsunade doesnt age thanks to that 'genjutsu' and the ridiculously huge amount of chakra stored and sealed in her (that dot on her forehead inst just for show), when she uses the Genesis Rebirth (Sz Saisei) that is when she makes use of that chakra and therefore her 'genjutsu' drops and we see her aged look, other than that she still looks in her mid 20's

 

[Lufio]

I've always thought of Tsunade's appearance as her using her chakra to keep her body in the prime of her life. For women, their sexual prime is around 30. Then when she used her seal to heal a fatal wound to her body, the chakra that kept her body young was diverted, thus her reverting to her non-youthened state.

Hmmm, since guys hit their sexual prime around 19 or so, would that mean that male nin using Tsunade's technique would be kept in their late teens? Huh. Somethin to ponder.

 

[GenocideHeart]

Genesis Rebirth is listed as a hybrid genjutsu-ninjutsu technique, in that it can be used to heal (hence the ninjutsu part), and also puts up an illusion of youth. The genjutsu is self-sustaining (what do you think the dot does besides store chakra? Take a guess), but when the user's body runs dry of chakra (as when Genesis Rebirth is used to heal), it shuts down like a flashlight's battery dying - it doesn't simply snap off, it falters an then finally dies.

That's why physical pain doesn't dispel it - the genjutsu isn't kept up by the user (that's why most genjutsu drop when the user is injured - their concentration breaks and they drop the technique), so injuring them won't shut it down.

I hope this explanation cleared it up a bit.

 

[nuclear death frog]

If that's so, then Kishimoto shat all over himself by having Kakashi (at the beginning of Part 2) think to himself that Sakura might become an even better ninja than Tsunade because Sakura was originally a genjutsu-type. Not that Kishimoto crapping on his own canon is anything new, mind...

 

[lunaitc]

I have just one thing to say to this.

Orochimaru

Naked women

DOES NOT COMPUTE!

 

[DhampyrX2]

Remember this is Orochimaru before he went nuts.

 

[TerraBull]

Hmm.. so how popular was he, a diffrent version of Sasuke? >;p

 

[nuclear death frog]

Hmm.. so how popular was he, a diffrent version of Sasuke? >;p

We don't get very many views of the Three (Jiraiya, Orochimaru, Tsunade) as youngsters. The young Orochimaru was very bright -- he figured out the point of the bell test immediately, before the test even started -- and Sarutobi told Jiraiya that he should try to be more like Orochimaru; but whether Orochimaru had a fangirl following like Sasuke is completely unknown.

 

[toraneko]

Fuck the hybrid genjutsu/ninjutsu shite. That doesn't leave a decent lemon option, therefore it is not acceptable. :angry:

Anyway, perving aside, I'd still find the better explanation to be that the Souzousaisei forces her body to keep its youthful state, as that would be the most beneficial to a ninja's active life in any respect.

 

[Innortal]

And now ... the completed chapter!!!




The Naruto Omake Files: Innortal Style
Chapter 3
Silence of the Inner Voice


Disclaimer: I donÆt own this series or any other series. I am just floating an idea. I am making no money, nor plan to, off this venture. If you think of suing me over this, then grow up.

I would like to first personally thank all of those reviewing my stories. I enjoy reading your comments, and try to correct the grammatical errors I miss with my final read-through as well as my spell checkers. The suggestions you all make will help make this story better for everyone to enjoy, as well as allow my to fix some plot holes I may unintentionally leave. If you find any, let me know, and I will correct them and repost the chapters.

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Quick note: Inner voices will be done ôlike this.ö

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ôWhat the hell are we doing up here?ö asked a young Orochimaru, sitting beside his white-haired teammate.

ôResearch and experimentation,ö answered the young Jiraiya.

ôYou mean I work on seals and you stare at the females in the public bathes,ö muttered the pale skinned genin.

Jiraiya smirked as he held up a second pair of binoculars. ôYou could help me in my research?ö

Orochimaru glared at him, before taking the offered binoculars. ôWell then, explain how we are going to practice making seals? I didnÆt bring any paper, and you barely remember to bring what you write on.ö

Smirking, Jiraiya patted the rooftop. ôThe ninja way is to use what you have available. WeÆll use these tiles.ö

ôThe tiles?ö

ôYes, the tiles.ö

Orochimaru sighed. Why was he always teamed up with losers? Sometimes, I have to wonder if theyÆll eventually drive me insane.

Man, if he only knew...

Smirking, Jiraiya quickly looked off towards the bathes, as Orochimaru slowly joined him. ôI will admit ... this is somewhat enjoyable,ö slowly said the snake genin.

ôI just hope Tsunade doesnÆt bathe there today,ö muttered Jiraiya. ôIÆd rather not see that black hole she calls a chest.ö

ôOh really,ö said an angry feminine voice.

The two males gulped, as they slowly lowered their binoculars, and turned to face the woman in question.

ôItÆs all his fault!ö yelled out Orochimaru, desperately trying to save his own ass.

ôTraitor!ö yelled Jiraiya, as he took off running, the angry Tsunade in hot pursuit.

ôCOME BACK HERE, YOU BASTARD!ö

Orochimaru just chuckled as he sat back down and lifted the binoculars to his head, switching between following what would be a grand beating on his rival, and the women in the bath. ôAh, I live for days like this.

ôI just wish he would use papers. These tiles are covered with his chicken-scratch.ö

Before he could resume his viewing pleasure, one particular tile caught his attention. ôIdiot didnÆt even finish them.ö Fixing what he thought was an unfinished tile; he nodded before resuming his viewing. ôBeating or girls, beating or girls; what to watch?ö

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Present...

ôI should have destroyed that roof while I had the chance,ö muttered Tsunade, as she slowly sat up on her bed. ôI mean, I knew he was up to no good, and that place always gave him the best perch to peek at people bathing, but no; I had to be a good little ninja and not needlessly destroy property in the village.ö

Shaking her head, she slowly stood up. ôI guess we all have our follies of youth. I mean, who knew whatever he did would actually work. Jiraiya sucked at seals like that when he was that age. I figured he just liked to doodle while peeping in on the bathing girls.ö

Shaking her head, she turned back to the bed. ôWell, I gotta go find that letch and get him to fix this. IÆll see you later, stud.ö Smirking, she left.

Now, for those wondering what in the Nine Hells is going on here, it is quite simple.

Tsunade, being stressed out from the work of a Hokage, as well as both the search for Jiraiya as well as the scene with the contingent from the Sand Village, found herself exhausted, and thought her head would look better on the desk, sleeping.

The result was she head-butted the tile, and received the seal.

Before she could warn anyone what had just occurred, that was the moment that Kakashi entered her office to report on the search.

Needless to say, Tsunade experienced a sudden drop in her control.

Which is why we can now find Kakashi severely dehydrated, pale, swollenùTsunade isnÆt one for soft loveùand slowly looking over at his copy of Ichi Ichi Paradise. He wasnÆt sure whether he should curse the author of the book, or thank him for the time of his life.

If Tsunade had dropped her genjutsu, weÆd all know the answer to that one.

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ôPsst,ö came a call from a bush near the LeeÆs Dojo. ôFuzzy-brows, you there?ö

The taijutsu master slowly peeked out of his door. ôNaruto-kun, is that you?ö

The blond nodded, still hiding in the bushes of what he hoped wasnÆt poison ivy. ôCan you hide me? SakuraÆs gone crazy, and I need some clothes. Mine sort of ... exploded off me.ö

ôAh,ö said Lee, ôyour clothes could not contain your youthful energies. Come then, I have an extra set of clothes Gai-sensei gave to me, so that I could pass them on to my next student as well.ö

That brought a smile to NarutoÆs face. After all, he had always wanted to try on that green jumpsuit, but Kakashi and Jiraiya always burned the thing before he could.

Very weird ...

ôOkay then,ö said the blond, ôwhere can I change?ö

ôI have a changing room in back, you can use that.ö

Nodding, the demon fox container made his way inside.

ôDamn it kit, youÆll never get laid wearing that!ö

Sadly, not everyone agreed with his new choice of clothes, but Naruto felt it was better than running around naked.

ôYou should; let the females see who the best male is. You ever see a clothed animal ... aside from the ones you summon? Nope, naked is natural.ö

Naruto paused to rub his forehead. CanÆt you go back to threatening me and wanting to kill?

ôI donÆt know? Can you stop being a pussy and get some? Damn it kit, IÆm dying here!ö

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Tenten sighed as she rubbed her head, walking away from her short battle with Dark Mistress Sakura. ôShe didnÆt need to head butt me,ö she murmured, hoping she didnÆt have a concussion. With most of the village now either looking for the perverted Sennin or trying to locate and capture Sakura, it was doubtful many people were left in the hospital to take care of her.

ôMan, where am I anyway,ö she muttered, looking around the path. ôWait, isnÆt this the way to LeeÆs Dojo?ö she wondered aloud.

She smiled at that. Not only would she be able to get some help for her headache; but since Lee was always there practicing, sheÆd be able to watch.

ôYeah, and when he takes off his sweaty shirt, those rippling muscles...ö

Nodding in agreement with her inner voice, she continued onward. Strangely, she didnÆt find these thoughts odd.

Makes you wonder whatÆs usually going through her mind.

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Lee continued to try and beat his personal best record for continuous hand-stand pushups while holding an extra fifty kilograms by his feetùand thus was the reason Naruto was now mentally arguing with the Demon Fox about exactly how badly the boy needed laid, or if even Gai had ever been laid.

ôNow thatÆs what I like to see.ö

Pausing in his quest, Lee arched his head up. ôAh, Tenten, have you come to work on your youthful fire as well?ö

The kunoichi smiled as she fiddled with the ties on her shirt. ôYou ... could say that.ö

ôAh, excellent,ö said Lee, finishing his last set of pushups before standing. ôGai-sensei has imparted unto me his knowledge of how to properly train our fires of youth for their greatest potentials. What would you like to work on ... today ... um...ö he trailed off, as Tenten was now minus her shirt, revealing a bra-clad chest.

ôI have my own exercises in mind,ö she smiled, as she slowly walked over to the stunned ninja.

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ôIÆm telling you kit, if you keep acting like this, youÆll be like them and youÆll never see any tail ... unless they fixed themselves.

ôYOU BETTER NOT GET US FIXED, KIT!ö

Naruto cringed. He didnÆt even know what ægetting fixedÆ was, but if it would get the damn kyuubi off his back, it had possibilities then.

Looking at himself in the mirror provided in the changing room, Naruto found himself unable to resist the lure of performing the ænice guyÆ pose.

ôKit, are you trying to make us gay?ö

Naruto ignored his tenant. After all, what did the demon fox know about getting human women?

Not that Naruto had any desire for that, even if his last few experiences with Hinata and Sakura had given him that weird feeling in his stomach, like he had had bad milk again.

ôHey Fuzzy-Brows,ö called out Naruto as he exited the changing room, ôthanks for the suit, it ... fits ... um...ö he paused.

Before him, Lee was currently on his back, his eyes full of fear, and the top half of his suit torn in half by a topless Tenten. Her eyes slowly stared up at him, her face full of killing intent. ôI donÆt do this in front of others, leave ... NOW!ö

ôWell IÆll be a catÆs mother,ö said the Kyuubi.

ôHelp me, Naruto-kun!ö screamed Lee. ôTenten is attempting to steal my youthful fire!ö

ôShut up and take it like a man, bitch!ö yelled the weapon user kunoichi.

ôGOOD LUCK FUZZY-BROWS!ö screamed Naruto, making a run for it.

ôNow that we are alone,ö smiled Tenten, as she gazed at her catch, ôits time to show Mama what she likes!ö

ôEep!ö screamed Lee.

And thus, Rock Lee did something no one ever thought he would be able to ... without paying a lot of money or getting her drunk first.

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ôLeeÆs getting laid,ö muttered the Kyuubi no Yoko. ôBy the Nine Hells, boy; the end of the world is near!ö

Naruto ignored his passenger, still on the lookout for Dark Mistress Sakura. He felt a little bad about leaving Lee like he had.

But he wasnÆt about to put himself between someone and an insane ninja female if he could help it.

ôForget that flesh bag! DidnÆt you hear me? The end is near! Get laid while you can!ö

Would you just shut the hell up!

ôYou are not dying a virgin, kit!ö

Naruto sighed, before activating a jutsu to make him look like Rock Lee. ôAs long as no one lets Tenten out of that dojo, IÆll be safe.ö

ôEND OF THE WORLD!ö

Naruto/Lee twitched. Why couldnÆt he have a damn mute option for the fox?

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ôSo now you know,ö said Shizune, as she explained the current situation to some genins who were helping to find Jiraiya.

ôBut if Naruto-kun was hit by the seal because of Sakura,ö asked Hinata, ôthen why isnÆt he ... um...ö she fizzled out.

Shizune sighed. After all, it wasnÆt like these genin didnÆt know the truth already. Damn drunken Tsunade, she just had to yell it out to them all, asking out loud if Naruto did that as quick as a fox as well. ôWe believe that the seal holding the Kyuubi no Yoko inside of him is strong enough to pull any seal through the demon first, before it can affect Naruto. As such, it is most likely the demon is feeling the sealÆs effect, and not Naruto.ö

ôA seal that makes you want sex,ö said Shikamaru. ôMan, thatÆs such a drag,ö finished the lone chuunin there.

ôAnyway,ö said Shizune, wishing once again Tsunade had not æleft to go visit her favorite CyclopsÆ and left her with dealing with things, ôwe need to find Jiraiya, and get him to tell us how to deactivate this seal.ö

ôBut what about those already affected by the seal?ö asked Kiba.

Shizune sighed. ôWe can do nothing for them now. Find Jiraiya, and avoid being hit in the head by another head. It seems to be how the seal is transferred.ö

As the group left, Hinata paused for a bit as her mind tried to make sense of what she had learned.

Naruto was under the effect of the seal.

The demon was most likely demanding that Naruto be perverted.

Anyone hit by the seal started becoming perverted.

After the seal was deactivated, anyone under it would not be held liable for how they acted.

This meant ... she could either get hit by the seal or pretend to be ... and thus be able to act like she wanted to with Naruto without fear of being blamed or held responsible in any way.

ôDamn,ö she muttered, ôwhere is the seal at?ö

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Kakashi was halfway to the bath, which was impressive in the fact he had needed only five hours to drag himself the distance of seven meters while using only his right pinkie finger.

Right now, his mind was focused on one goal and one goal alone: getting the hell out of TsunadeÆs apartment, getting medical attention, and then killing Jiraiya.

It was one thing to read about those types of situation in a book, reality was much more ... painful.

Yes, painful did describe it as feeling started to return to his nether region, only to make him wish it hadnÆt. Tsunade had not been gentle. Add to that memories he both wanted to keep and get rid ofùsome things one should never see their leader doing, even if it is to themùand you have his reason for seeking out both the maker of the seal and wanting him dead.

ôOh, Kakashi-kun...ö came the whimsical reply.

Paling slightly more, he turned his head to the door, where he spotted Tsunade wearing an Arabian belly dancer outfit.

ôIÆm ready for Round 2,ö she purred, as she stalked towards him.

If he had had the fluids available, he would have cried.

As such, he missed it when she placed the seal down on her bedside table.

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Gai paused in his search, as he slowly turned back towards the village. ôI sense a great disturbance in the youthful energy of the land, as if my greatest rival had suddenly cried out in confusion, fear, and anger, before he was suddenly silenced.ö

ôBe quiet and keep looking,ö growled out Genma.

Gai sighed, before he paused. ôI wonder where Lee is. Such an exercise would be perfect for him.ö

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Said student was silently crying, a nude Tenten resting happily on his nude form as she purred.

My ... my youthful fire ... she took my youthful fire...

And thus Rock Lee learned the hard way about what it truly meant to no longer be a virgin.

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Kankuro stumbled down the street, his former body suit now a few tattered strips that barely preserved his modesty ... and his Little Mermaid boxers. ôMy God, the sun is so bright! How ... how long has that woman held me? Weeks? Months?ö

ôYouÆve been gone nine hours, idiot,ö growled out Temari.

Gaara nodded, before holding out his hand, as his sister put several bills of money in it. She had thought her brother would at least be gone for a whole day, considering how manly he claimed he was.

She planned to take that out of his ass later.

Gaara simply continued his glare, not showing outwardly his joy that he could now buy some of that delicious ramen he had heard so much about, as he turned to his brother. ôIt took you nine hours to escape her capture. That is ... disappointing.ö

ôHey,ö said Temari, ôwhereÆs your puppet?ö

ôDonÆt ask,ö said the now paling ninja, as the memories of what had happened to his puppet came to the surface quicker than he could suppress them. ôJust ... donÆt ask.ö

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Naruto/Lee made his way down the streets of Konoha, trying to remain in character as much as possible, as he looked to be carrying close to two hundred kilograms of additional weight æto train his youthful fires to burn even brighterÆ.

ôHey, Lee!ö

He tried to hide his fear as he turned around, hoping against hope that the voice he had heard was not the one he currently feared.

ôHave you seen Naruto?ö asked Dark Mistress Sakura, slapping a riding crop against her leg. ôHeÆs been very naughty, and I need to discipline him ... now,ö she growled out the last part.

Gulping, Naruto/Lee tried to think of a response that would save his ass and get Sakura further away from him. ôHe is training his youthful energies at my dojo, as well as practicing his cloning jutsus.ö

IÆm so smart! Now when she sees Fuzzy-Brows there, sheÆll think heÆs me under a jutsu!

The Kyuubi stayed quiet. Sure he wanted to get his container laid ... but this was one scary ass bitch!

ôGood,ö smiled Sakura, before she turned around.

But it wasnÆt going to be that easy for Naruto. Sakura noticed something in her conversation. Lee had spoken to her ... with fear in his voice, not the usual confidence and puppy love he usually showed.

Turning around, she decided to test a theory. ôI just heard IchirakuÆs Ramen shop just burned down.ö

ôNOOOOOOO!ö cried Naruto/Lee, as he fell down to his knees. Looking up to the heavens, he held his arms outstretched. ôWhy must you take away all that I love?ö he screamed out.

ôNARUTO!ö cried out Sakura, as she dispelled his image.

ôYikes!ö cried the discovered ninja, as he took off as fast as he could.

ôStop running from your Dark Mistress and take your punishment like a good slave!ö

ôWhere did we go wrong?ö cried SakuraÆs mother, as the duo passed her.

ôPersonally, I blame you,ö replied SakuraÆs father, right before his wifeÆs fist introduced him to Mr. Concussion.

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Jiraiya simply sighed once again as he sat in the HokageÆs office. He had no idea why he had been dragged here ... for once. After all, he hadnÆt done any ... research in or near Konoha for a few weeks, more than enough time in his opinion for people to have moved on with their lives.

ôWhere is she?ö asked Genma. ôGiven how serious the situation is, youÆd think either she or Shizune would be here?ö

ôGet your ass in there!ö came the scream from Shizune from outside the main door.

ôI donÆt wanna!ö screamed Tsunade. ôI wanna go back to my grey haired Cyclops!ö

ôYou can do that after weÆre done!ö

ôBut I wanna go back now!ö

ôKEEP THE DAMN ROBE TIED TIGHT!ö

The men in the office could only blink at the door.

ôGrey haired Cyclops?ö muttered Gai.

ôI think its best we donÆt ask,ö muttered Genma, before he clapped his hands and offered a prayer that Kakashi had not suffered for long.

The doors busted open, with Tsunade sailing over them, before she hit the wall and slid behind her desk.

Before the others could ask about whether or not the Fifth Hokage was ... alive, they found their attention once more focused on Shizune, as she now had Jiraiya suspended off the floor by his jacket. ôIf you have any idea of the horrors IÆve seen because of this damn seal, then you will tell me how to remove it ... NOW!ö

Gulping, Jiraiya took the offered seal and began examining it. After all, Shizune looked like she was in her æI know how to drag out the painÆ mood. LetÆs see; looks kind of old. Maybe one of those seals I worked on while doing research at those bathes. Hmm, appears to have to writers...

Woah, Orochimaru actually helped finish it! I almost feel bad now for spreading those rumors that he only preferred boys now. ôHave you just tried breaking it?ö he asked.

ôExcuse me?ö growled Shizune.

ôYeah,ö said Jiraiya. ôThatÆs why I used roof tiles: they were easy to crack if they went wrong, so I didnÆt have to worry about them lingering.ö

Shizune lowered him until she was staring directly into his eyes. ôIf you are lying ... there will only be two living sennin, understand?ö

ôPerfectly!ö squeaked the perverted hermit. ôBut itÆll take a few hours for the sealÆs effect to wear off,ö he hastily added. After all, he didnÆt exactly know that for certain. But he hoped that if it didnÆt fade immediately ... they wouldnÆt take away his happy bits.

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It was a very subdued group of KonohaÆs younger ninjas at Practice Field 9.

ôWould you guys quit staring at me?ö yelled Sakura, causing everyone to twitch slightly in fear.

ôI understand and obey, my Dark Mistress,ö chuckled Kiba.

ôMy fire ... gone...ö

ôGet over it, Lee-kun,ö smiled Tenten. Oddly enough, she didnÆt have any regrets.

ôIÆm just glad thatÆs over with,ö said Naruto. Finally, things could get back to normal.

ôKill all the males and take the women for your own pleasures, brat!ö yelled the Kyuubi.

Naruto had to sigh at that. Even free of the seal, the damned fox was still trying to get him laid. What more can go wrong?

ôNARUTO-KUN!ö

He turned in time to get hit by the Hyuuga heiress, as she wrapped her arms around him and nuzzled him with her cheek.

ôH-H-Hinata!ö

ôI got hit by the seal!ö she smiled as she sat up and prepared to kiss her true love.

ôThe seal was destroyed,ö muttered Shino.

Hinata paused at that. ôI-i-it was?ö she squeaked.

The bug ninja nodded.

ô... Oh,ö she replied, before shying off of Naruto.

Before the blond ninja could try and figure out why Hinata believed she was under the control of the now destroyed seal, he found himself silenced by another pair of lips.

The others could only stare in shockùeven a few of ShinoÆs bugs fell off of him in surpriseùas Ino locked lips with the demon container and slipped him her tongue.

As she released him, she licked her lips, ignoring the fact her victim slumped to the ground, shock on his face, and a bit of blood dribbling out from his nose. Her gaze soon fell on Sakura. ôSo, you were hiding the best kissers in the village!ö

ôWhat!ö yelled Sakura, not believing her ears.

ôYou let all of us think you were after Sasuke, when you were really hiding the best kissers in the village!ö accused the blond kunoichi.

ôSasukeÆs a lousy kisser?ö asked Chouji, pausing only briefly in his consumption of his ever present bag of chips.

ôLeeÆs a very good kisser,ö purred Tenten.

ôHow can I ever face Gai-sensei without my fire?ö

ôFor taking my Naruto-kunÆs lips, die!ö screamed Hinata, launching herself at Ino.

Naruto slowly came back to reality, one thought on his mind. Hey, where is Sasuke?

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Sasuke had stumbled upon the idea he had felt would forever silence that annoying voice in his head that insisted he was truly gay: he would sleep with a girl. And not any girl mind you, only a girl that was considered too dangerous for low level heterosexual males, for fear of their imminent death.

He needed a girl that only the most daring of straight men would try to nail.

He would sleep with Anko Mitarashi.

After a quick talk to, followed by pointing out that Kankuro had escaped her handcuffs, Sasuke soon found himself handcuffed, roped to, and glued to, the bed of Anko. Since it was very rare that she got ... volunteers ... to play with, she wasnÆt going to take any chances that he would run.

Are those puppet parts stuck to the ceiling?

His smirk soon faded as the drive for such actions faded away, the seal flaring to life on his forehead, before it too faded.

Hello? Anyone there?

He started to worry, wondering what the hell had ever possessed him to do something so stupid.

ôDonÆt worry,ö smirked Anko, now wearing very little, ôno one can hear you scream here, and trust me, you ... will ... scream!ö

And this folks is what we call a win-lose situation.

 

[Prince Charon]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Thank you.

 

[EagleCeres]

intense ammounts of win and god here!!!

poor Lee... he lost his fire (i feel more sorry for Neji, he got NO love)
and Hinata... well at least we know she's the jealous type :snigger:
i do kinda feel sorry for the grey haired cyclops... not!

great Job Innortal!

 

[GenocideHeart]

Anyway, perving aside, I'd still find the better explanation to be that the Souzousaisei forces her body to keep its youthful state, as that would be the most beneficial to a ninja's active life in any respect.

Except she had RETIRED before creating it, so that's not an excuse. Remember, she was wasting her life in gambling and whatnot.

In fact, I question why she created it at all when she was no longer an active ninja. I can't see her creating a jutsu that literally eats up her remaining lifespan just to stay young looking. It sort of defeats the purpose.

 

[FH_Meta]

Five dollars says that Kishimoto will find a way to make this little inconsisancy, if you gentlemen will, into a much worse plot point, again, if you will.

 

[Innortal]

Part pride, part need to keep fit.

 

[Innortal]

The question is who will exploit it first: the anime or the manga.

 

[GenocideHeart]

Five dollars says that Kishimoto will find a way to make this little inconsisancy, if you gentlemen will, into a much worse plot point, again, if you will.

I'm not going to take that bet. I'm not fond of losing, and I very much doubt I'd win that one. :sweat:

As for the Omake File... Wins. That is all. :yay:

I especially like Hinata channeling Ryoga. What next, would she say the infamous Ryoga line suitably modified?

"DAMN YOU, INO! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

 

[toraneko]

*reads new part*

...

*Disk Error: Insufficient memory space to contain such an amount of Win. Please insert Lemon into drive D: and reboot.*

 

[ttestagr]

Anyway, perving aside, I'd still find the better explanation to be that the Souzousaisei forces her body to keep its youthful state, as that would be the most beneficial to a ninja's active life in any respect.

Except she had RETIRED before creating it, so that's not an excuse. Remember, she was wasting her life in gambling and whatnot.

In fact, I question why she created it at all when she was no longer an active ninja. I can't see her creating a jutsu that literally eats up her remaining lifespan just to stay young looking. It sort of defeats the purpose.

Remember that the jutsu's main function isn't to make her look young, its to make her unkillable in combat. When I read that part of the manga, I thought it was a pet project that she started when her own skills weren't enough to keep Dan alive. She retired after that, but its easily believable that she would work on a jutsu that could overcome the limitations that had kept her from saving her loved one.

Bakamoto probably find some way to twist and ruin her seal though, like he did with her necklace.

 

[MnemoD]

NarutoxIno points!

This is made of much win, and godliness!

However, I have the ultimate Lemon-Drive!

BWHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!

See? I didn't even break down into *COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH HACK COUGH HACK!* Aww, damnit!

Anyway.

Was that it? If not... M04R!

 

[Mereo Flere]

Awesome.

Simply awesome.

Even if Sasuke gets Anko in the end, it's still satisfying in a way.