Nasuverse Iron and Light

[nixofcyzerra]

Finally got around to posting this. Took me long enough. Anyway, although I have stuff from a few years back posted on my FF.net profile, I've never really put anything I've written up for "peer review." Therefore, I'd be most grateful if anyone reading this could kindly look over what I've got so far, and then mercilessly rip it to shreds, pointing out any and every mistake made and what has room for improvement. Spelling and grammar, word and phrase choice, sentence structure, tone and atmosphere, the whole shebang. And remember this is just a prologue. Nasu-characters will be appearing from chapter 1 onwards.

Oh, and hopefully, enjoy.

Disclaimer: I own several pairs of clothes, a PC, some game consoles and assorted games, and books. I don't own any copyrights or franchises.

*Prologue - 14 Years ago*

Powerful, metallic wings beat as the hooded figure travelled onwards through the ocean of space. It was dark, with nothing but sporadic nebulae to break the monotony, and countless distant stars the only supply of light. Despite his advanced age, the man’s arm showed no strain from the weight of the comatose boy he carried underarm, wrapped in a large white cloth. The little of the boy that could be seen included open, unfocused eyes that showed no sign of consciousness or awareness.

The boy was dying, entirely due to the hooded figure’s actions. This did not trouble him at all, as the very wound that had sealed the child’s fate had also born one of the two tools necessary to bring his plan to fruition. However, he was willing to grant one final act of kindness, and allow the boy to live out his final days at his own place of birth, the islands that he himself had found so constricting as a youth.

Of the infinite array of the dreams of Akasha that make up the Kaleidoscope, the majority would have the black-clad individual continue to his destination unhindered and without distractions. However, in this particular realisation of possibility, the most improbable of events began to unfold.

The trenchcoated man froze, sensing something amiss, unexpected. A silver goatee peeked out from inside the black hood. He quickly scanned his surroundings for the source of this sensation, using more than just this sight alone, but neither his eyes nor his more esoteric methods of detection found anything of notice.

“A surge... A surge of the purest darkness!” he muttered to himself, his eyes darting around. His voice was raspy, as if he had gone days without speaking.

Continuing to seek the origin of the darkness that had flickered across his perception, the shadowy figure’s gaze eventually came across something that could not be described as a source of light, but rather an area he could only think as slightly less dark. The difference between Taupe and Pitch Black.

The trenchcoated individual moved forward, eager to study a new, unfamiliar phenomenon. A few moments of observation allowed him to realise the nature of what he stood before.

“A barrier. A barrier like nothing I’ve ever seen. Hiding what lies within, and protecting its contents from...” he trailed off. “Had that surge of power not occurred, or were I not right here at this exact moment, I never would have come across it. And it’s already beginning to heal, like a scab over an open wound,” he murmured to himself, before ending his ruminations as he decided upon a course of action.

Extending his free arm forward, as if reaching for something, the four dark, asymmetrical wings and the back-mounted platform they extended from vanished, only to be immediately replaced as a sword with a demonic motif appeared in the man’s grasp. The materialised sword was evil looking; it had a spiky, black guard resembling demonic wings and just above the handle, there lay a horned, demonic face engraved on the hilt. It had two barbed shafts that, unlike a conventional sword, did not taper to a point, with a blue, cat-like eye embedded just above them, and teeth, reminiscent of a battle axe, extruded from the top of the blade and split into three protrusions that were almost claw-like. Both the shaft and the head of the weapon were adorned with twisting, silver patterns.

Despite the disappearance of his method of propulsion, the enigmatic figure and his burden floated, untouched by gravity’s pull. With a steady, almost languid movement, the cloaked individual pointed his sword forward, and the top of the blade emitted a thin beam of light. Upon reaching the area that had intrigued him so, it stopped, having struck a physical object, and erupted into a darkly-hued orb with a shining light in the centre, a doorway which the coated man eagerly passed through, still carrying his former charge.

It was still dark on the other side of the doorway, but it was only the darkness of the night. The doorway had led to the roof of a mountain temple, on the edge of a large city. The enigmatic figure, his features still hidden beneath his trenchcoat, lowered the comatose boy to the surface of the temple roof, and surveyed first his surroundings, and then the city before him, absently noting that it was seemingly divided into two sections, one modern, the other traditional. Probing deeper into the land the city laid upon, searching for the source of the phenomenon that had captured his interest by reaching out with his senses, he let out a sudden gasp of shocked realisation after only a moment.

“Could it be?” he exclaimed. ”Any living being is made up of the three components. Why would this not apply to worlds? But this world... this world has more than just the spark of life! This world’s soul, no, it’s will, is so much stronger than most. It has more than just a dull, reactionary, sentience. This world is cognisant! Sapient! It thinks! Enough to construct a barrier that renders it invisible to outsiders!”

“And if it can think,” he continued slowly, “Then it can have an agenda. How utterly fascinating.” Considering his options, he let out a sigh of almost-amused disappointment. “Still, this is no time for investigation. I cannot seek out that source of that earlier surge either. If I remain here for much longer, then the barrier will restore itself enough that I’d have to heavily damage it to make my exit. And I’d prefer not to draw the attention of this world’s will. For now, anyway.”

Turning, the man shrouded in the black coat walked towards the opening he had carved, stooping to collect the boy lying against the nearby tree. He still had to deliver the child.

“...Open the door...”

Suddenly, the child showed a sign of life by rolling over, much to the cloaked figure’s startlement. His mild surprise turned to utter astonishment when the boy, still showing no sign of recognition or conscious thought, raised his arm and summoned his own weapon, black and gold in colour. Glowing, the blade fired a beam of incandescent light upwards, into the sky.

Quickly recovering from his shock, a smile curled on the old man’s lips. He would not need to find a replacement. Still, he had to move swiftly. Such an occurrence may have caught the world’s notice. Once more tucking the again-comatose child under an arm, he strode over to his point of entry, and again opened a path allowing him to leave.

Once more in the ocean of stars, he turned to where he knew his latest discovery lay, once again invisible to the naked eye, before raising his blade and channelling power through it once more. “There. A beacon within the barrier, like shrapnel caught in an open wound, will allow me to easily locate this world again, once my plans have come to fruition.” And with that, the fearsome wings emerged in a flash, and the strange duo vanished into the darkness.


*Interlude 1*

Worlds away, in a wasteland absent of civilisation, a boy trained his swordsmanship. A strange, inhuman construct leapt at him, only to meet it’s destruction at the edge of his weapon. His victory granted him no reprieve or relief from his inner demons, however, as it’s end only caused him more pain and irritation.

This masochistic routine would have been repeated in a ritual of self-loathing, were the boy’s training not unexpectedly interrupted by a sharp, sudden pain in his chest. Falling to the ground, the young man struggled to remain conscious. His awareness of the outside world fading in and out, the boy could feel darkness encroaching upon him. He could almost hear another person’s voice.

A distant part of the boy’s mind not incapacitated by pain or fear observed that, despite being the only living being around, he could in fact hear a voice, and absently noted that he was now suffering from an auditory hallucination.

Light.

“Let’s open the door.”

The boy opened his eyes. The pain was gone. And there was something else. Something had changed. The boy staggered over to a nearby puddle, a remnant of the recent rain, and stared at his reflection.

“...Huh. Kinked Eyebrows.”

interlude out

End Prologue

 

[nixofcyzerra]

Not going to lie, I'm pretty disappointed from the lack of feedback. I would have assumed you all thought it sucked enough that it wasn't even worthy of a response, or was simply too boring to be noteworthy, but then it occurred to me that I'd posted a prologue with almost no type-moon content, in a type-moon thread.

So I decided to go ahead and post Chapter 1, which has more type-moon content than Shirou can shake a reinforced chair leg at! Oh, and an invasion by eldritch abominations from across the stars. Hopefully I'll get a better response. Or, you know, a response.

*Chapter 1 – Present Day, 04/02/2004*

*UBW Route, Day 4*

Once again, Emiya Shirou dreamed of Emiya Kiritsugu. The familiar memory of moon-watching with his father. The father’s announcement of his childhood dream, and the son’s decision to inherit that dream. Kiritsugu’s laughter, and his final words.

An image flashed through Shirou’s sleeping mind for a moment. A sword. This was unusual. Not the event itself, as Shirou often dreamed of swords, but a dream of his father had never been interrupted by a vision of steel before, not even for a second. Not once when dreaming of Kiritsugu had his subconscious altered the memory, by inserting a strange sword floating a few feet above his father’s head. It could not even be considered a threatening vision, as the unusual blade was not pointing downwards like the proverbial Sword of Damocles, but instead hovered above him blade-up, the hilt pointing towards his father’s head. And it was incredible. An amazing sword. Strange, but amazing.

Shirou’s unconscious mind didn’t have the time to reflect on this unusual occurrence, however, as before even a heartbeat had passed, the apparition vanished, and the dream of a memory finished playing out as normal, his father closing his eyes and passing away.

Shirou woke up. Bright morning sunlight was coming through the window of his shed, where he had fallen asleep the night before after training his magecraft. Chiding himself for falling asleep in his junk-filled shack yet again, Shirou quickly changed into his school uniform, and, after confirming that two of his current house-guests were already awake, attempted to wake the third, unfortunately resulting in him being the victim of a special attack aimed at a super robot that came to invade the Earth.

...Shirou resolved to find a better, less painful method of waking his guardian in the future.

After finishing breakfast, and hearing of another attack on the civilians of Fuyuki City, covered up as a “gas leak,” Shirou left for school, promising his Servant, Saber, that he would avoid Tohsaka Rin, the Master who’d sworn to be his enemy the next time they met. He’d done a pretty poor job of keeping that promise, Shirou thought to himself, as he stared up at the girl in question, her face expressionless and her arm raised, the Magic Crest tattooed on it glowing ominously.

"I told Archer to go home. The ‘Gandr Shot’ in the Magic Crest should be enough for you," Rin said, in a voice devoid of emotion. "You can run away, but that's just making it hard on yourself. I'm going to win in the end no matter what you do."

This wasn’t good. Shirou, paralysed by indecision, tensed, but before he could come up with a course of action, or blurt out something in the hopes of defusing the situation, the confrontation between the two was interrupted by what sounded like dozens, or even hundreds of people shouting in surprise and fright. Shirou and Rin stared at each other, both listening to the continuing sounds of chaos emanating from nearby.

“Tohsaka,” Shirou began after a moment’s pause, “those screams are coming from outside, right? Something bad seems to be happening. Let’s settle this later.”

Without waiting for a reply, Shirou turned away from Rin and began to walk to a window, much to the young girl’s irritation.

“I-Idiot, what the hell do you think you’re doing? Showing your back to your opponent-”

Shirou interrupted her, twisting his head to look at her out of the corner of his eye.

“Toshoka. It sounds like there are people in danger. I’m not the sort of person who can stand around when that sort of thing is happening, and neither are you. So let’s ensure that nobody’s in trouble first. Otherwise it’ll be flab on both our minds, right?”

And with that, Shirou continued over to the window. After a few moments of grumbling and muttering angrily and unintelligibly to herself, Rin followed him, the light from her crest dimming slightly, and a slight blush on her cheeks. After all, she couldn’t argue with her own words, even when they were used against her.

Reaching the window at approximately the same time, the duo looked out of the window, aiming to search for both the source and cause of the sudden screams. The sight that immediately met their eyes, however, both sated their curiosity and rendered the two of them momentarily speechless.

The sky was falling. That was the first description that Shirou’s mind could come up with, and it was quite apt. It was the largest meteor shower he’d ever seen, or ever heard of for that matter; it stretched across the sky all the way to the distant horizon. It seemed impossible that such a thing could occur without astronomers or scientists, or somebody, anybody giving some sort of warning. However, in the end, what was quite possibly the strangest astronomical event to ever occur on Earth served only as a backdrop to what caught the majority of their attention.

The attacking horde of monsters.

“...What the hell is this? This is insane!” Rin finally ground out. “Are those... things...demons?”

To Shirou’s eyes, they certainly looked demonic. Monsters, ink-black in colour, with three-clawed hands and spherical heads with two long, twisted antennae affixed upon them. Their yellow eyes were beady and without pupils, and seemed to glow even in the fading sunlight. Shirou estimated that their size was comparable to a small child, and so were not especially large, but what they lacked in dimensions they more than made up for in numbers. Looking out of the window, Shirou could see that there were hundreds, if not thousands of them spread through out the city. And they were attacking anyone that met their sight. While the hour of the day was late, there had still been a significant amount of people walking the streets who were now fleeing in terror.

Rin was transfixed by the astonishing, horrific sight before her. “I’ve contacted Archer. He’s on his way back,” she absently mentioned to her companion. After a few seconds had passed without receiving a reply from him, Rin then realised that Shirou was no longer present in her peripheral vision, and spun around to find that he had moved away and was now striding towards the stairs.

“Hold on! What do you think you’re doing? You can’t be thinking of diving right into that!” she exclaimed, her voice overflowing with disbelief.

“People need help,” was Shirou’s nonplussed response.

Rin was again rendered near-incoherent by this seemingly flippant answer to her question. “There’s an army of monsters down there, and your Servant. Isn’t. Here. Besides, you can’t go using your magecraft in public.”

“People need help,” Shirou repeated. “And I can provide it. Anyway, this school isn’t exactly a fortress, so I’d rather take the fight to them. I’m just that sort of person, I guess. Oh, and my magic’s not really the flashy sort, so I don’t have to worry about that sort of thing.”

“Are you completely insane? It’s too dangerous to go by yourself! You don’t even have a weapon!” Rin exploded.

Shirou paused for a moment, and then abruptly burst into movement, charging towards the staircase. In a display of startling physical prowess, Shirou funnelled both his momentum and leg strength into a powerful kick, aimed at the top of one of the metal rods that supported the stair’s banister. The force of the kick was sufficient to break the metal connecting the top of the rod to the banister itself, and gripping the liberated end with both hands, Shirou then tore the rod from the wooden panel adhering it to the floor entirely. Then, without pausing for breath, Shirou closed his eyes, and in an instant, poured prana into the pole to reinforce it. Shirou swung the “strengthened” makeshift weapon around, noting that he’d made no errors in the process.

“Huh. It worked. Wow, I'm great when it really counts. You coming, Tohsaka?"

Rin stared for a moment, an eyebrow raised, and then let out a tremendous sigh, her hand coming up to rub the bridge of her nose.

“Ugh,” she groaned. “I don’t know who the bigger idiot is. The one who hurls himself into danger without thinking, or the one who’s right behind him. I suppose that as the Second Owner of Fuyuki, I can’t let the behaviour of these trespassers go unchallenged. Get moving, Emiya-kun.”

And, having now had the last word, the genius magus ran alongside the amateur user of magecraft as they charged towards this new enemy.

Even as they both hurtled down the stairs, Shirou turned his head to look at Rin. “Tohsaka, could this be the work of another Servant?” he asked.

Rin slowly shook her head in reply as she vaulted over the railing of the staircase. “I don’t think so. Maybe a Caster-class Servant could cause a meteor shower like that, and maybe another could summon up an army of monsters of this size, but one that could do both? At the same time? I doubt it, but I guess I can’t rule it out completely.”

“That said, I can’t think of any figure of legend that was known for stuff like this,” she continued. “This is... I think that this is something else entirely. I think this is something new.”

Rin then abruptly changed the subject. “Emiya, I’ve called Archer, and he was still pretty close by. What about Saber?”

Shirou frowned. His Servant Saber. Should he summon her with a Command Spell?

"…I'm sorry, Saber. But it's all right. And you'll know if I'm in danger, right? You can come to me if that ever happens."

"No. Our connection is weak. The only time I will sense your danger is when your life is in danger. It would be too late if I head out at such a time."

"Hm. Then I should call for you myself?"

"Yes. If you call for me in your mind, it will be transmitted to me, your Servant. …Please use the Command Spell if you believe that will not be in time either. I shall be able to jump through space to aid you if I have its backup."

“There’s no real point. The second these... things appeared, she’d have started to make her way here. She’ll be here soon. Besides, I haven’t done all that I can do. I have a weapon, and my body can still move, after all.”

Rin rolled her eyes. “Tch. I should have known you’d say something like that.”

A small smile briefly crossed Shirou’s face, before it was replaced by a frown. “Hey, Tohsaka. That meteor shower; it filled the sky, didn’t it?”

Rin agreed with his observation. From what she had seen, there wasn’t a single square kilometre of sky within her sight that wasn’t currently filled with dozens of shooting stars. “What’s your point, Emiya?"

Shirou’s reply was straightforward, with terrifying implications. “If the meteors are falling all over, then are those things everywhere too? Are they just in Fuyuki, or could they be attacking all across Japan?”

Shirou was surprised to discover just how proficient Rin was at cursing in German.

*scene break*

Hotaruzuka Otoko ran as fast she could, no longer having any breath spare to scream. She really wished she hadn’t left her father’s store early. At least then she wouldn’t be so worried about him, and they’d have both been able to barricade themselves inside the Copenhagen. Sprinting around the corner of a building, she ground to a halt, having caught sight of another group of the bizarre monsters obstructing her path. The terrified young woman whirled around, to run back along the way she came, but found that the group she had originally fled from had almost caught up to her. She was surrounded.

As the strange creatures circling her prepared to launch themselves at her, Otoko closed her eyes and prayed for a miracle. She absently noted that someone in the distance was shouting a phrase she couldn’t understand, in some vaguely European-sounding language she didn’t recognise.

After a few moments, a voice that belonged to someone she knew reached her ears.

“Hotaruzuka-san! Come on, we have to move!”

Her eyes shooting open in disbelief, Otoko found her father’s employee, Emiya Shirou, standing before her, a metal rod grasped in his right hand.

“E-Emiya-san. But... where did the monsters go?”

Shirou quirked an eyebrow. “They left. I must have scared them off. Now, come on. You need to get to safety.”

Otoko blinked, and opened her mouth to respond, but Shirou spoke over any argument she could have made.

“You need to find your father, right? Then go. I’ll get to safety once I’m sure there’s no-one else pinned down or trapped.”

Otoko momentarily considered convincing the young man to accompany her to safety, but despite her frequent habit of worrying about him, knew that it would ultimately be futile. “Be careful, Emi-yan,” she said, using her nickname for him. “Taiga-chan will never forgive me if you get hurt.”

Shirou snorted. “Feh. Fuji-nee’s probably putting the fear of death into these things as we speak. I almost feel sorry for them.” Despite his confident words, there was a note of anxiety in his voice.

Otoko let out a short, almost-hysterical bark of amusement. “Heh. You’re probably right. We’ll have to trade battle stories later, all three of us,” she said, her eyes demanding.

Shirou met her gaze, an unspoken promise passing between them, and then darted in the other direction, back in the chaotic battleground that the city had become.

*scene break*

“Damn it. My ‘Gandr’ shots have no effect on whatever these things are,” Rin groused. "And Fin's are too damn expensive to use constantly.”

“I suppose that 'illness' must be an alien concept to our enemy, Master,” Archer’s voice drifted down from the rooftop. Having arrived only a few minutes beforehand, Archer had immediately taken to the roof of Homurabara Academy, and was making full use of his skill-set. Over a dozen arrows would launch in the time it took for Shirou to blink, with every one of them striking one of the rampaging fiends and causing them to dissolve into a waft of black smoke.

Rin turned to offer a scathing retort to her sarcastic Servant, but was interrupted by a new arrival, as a blur of inhuman speed slowed to show Saber, in full battle regalia and a determined scowl marring her features.

“Shirou!” she called, as she moved to within a few feet of they boy who had summoned her, her gaze quickly scanning him for any sign of injury, and then flickering to Rin, and then upwards, to Archer, before returning to meet his eyes. “I am glad to see that you are unharmed.”

Shirou gave her a small smile in return. “Yeah, I’m fine, Saber.”

What would be described as a sigh of relief, were it from from a less composed individual, escaped Saber’s mouth, before she straightened and made direct eye contact with Shirou. “I am sorry for taking so long to arrive, Master. I had several encounters with the foul creatures infesting the city, and chose to dispatch them. My apologies for the delay.”

Shirou waved a hand in dismissal. “I’d have been annoyed if you’d ignored them and came straight here, if somebody had needed protecting from them. I’m not hurt, and was never in any serious trouble. And don’t call me Master.”

A degree of tension left Saber’s body. “As expected from you, Shirou. Rest assured however, that if I had sensed your life was in danger through our connection, I would have come to your aid immediately, even if you did not make use of a command spell to bring me to your side.” She turned away from the school to face the monstrous horde, and spoke as an aside to both Shirou and Rin. “Has a suitable strategy or course of action for dealing with these vermin been decided?” she inquired.

Rin frowned. “I’m afraid not. We were able to get a lot of people to seek shelter in the school. They’re all up in one of the classrooms on the top floor, where they can’t see us, so we can use our abnormal abilities freely. With Archer providing ranged support and cover fire, and you now here to engage them in close-combat, we should be able to defend this location indefinitely.”

Saber nodded at the sound analysis. “I see. What of our provisions? Do we have the resources to withstand an extended siege?” Her tone was that of one who had great familiarity with such a concept.

Rin paled slightly. “Ah. That didn’t occur to me,” she admitted. But, her voice gaining strength, she continued to speak. “I doubt we’ll have to worry about that sort of thing, though. I don’t know much about Japan’s version of the Mage’s Association, but they’ll likely be dispatching Houjutsushi soon. And that lousy fake priest Kotomine has probably already contacted the Church, so members of the Burial Agency or Executors are probably already en route. Plus, Emiya was able to finish one of the creatures even after the reinforcement on his weapon wore off, so we know they’re not completely invulnerable to mundane weapons like Servants are. So even the JSDF should be able to help, and might be on their way as we speak.”

“I’ll be honest,” she lowered her voice, as if to give the impression of conveying something confidential. “I’m more concerned now with how this situation is going to be covered up. Hypnosis can only do so much, but then they did successfully conceal the fall-out from the last war, so I’m not too worried,” she concluded, her voice radiating confidence.

Saber’s face was grim. “I regret to be the bearer of ill tidings, Rin, but any reinforcements of the kind you speak of will not be arriving. While I was engaged in battle with a group of these abominations earlier, I overheard a public radio broadcast. According to the newscaster, this phenomenon is in no way limited to this city.”

At this, Shirou re-entered the conversation, his eyes blazing. “Saber, are you saying that these things are attacking all across Japan?”

Saber turned to him, her posture straightening further. Her reply rang like a death-knell in his ears. “No, Shirou. They are attacking worldwide.”


*Interlude 2-1*

The Shadows were everywhere. Only a select few were capable of defending themselves against them, and it was an unfortunate irony that many of those individuals were a more tempting target as a by-product of that ability.

Barthomeloi Lorelei spat out an arcane phrase and gestured towards her targets. A blast of wind capable of crumpling ten feet of steel like paper lashed out at the fiends stalking her, reducing them to smoke in an instant. Sensing an attack from behind, she pivoted on one foot, and lashed out with her gauntlet of holy mithril, bisecting the unfortunate shade that had attempted to assault her from behind. She showed no satisfaction at her victories, however, as more of the bizarre creatures materialised to take the place of their fallen brethren. She had developed her skill with Magecraft to the point where it was comparable to one of the five sorceries, but for the first time in her life, such an achievement was almost meaningless. She could wipe out thousands of these creatures, but it seemed that for every one she destroyed, three more appeared to take their place.

“All unidentified units within surrounding area Terminated. No problemo,” declared the maid-shaped golem.

Lord El-Melloi II, formerly known as Waver Velvet, frowned. “Blasted movie,” he muttered to himself, before continuing in a louder voice. “Excellent work. Continue operations, and assign unidentified units provisional designation: ‘Shadow.’” His commands to the mystic code that, prior to his upgrading it, was once called Volumen Hydragyrum complete, Lord El-Melloi II turned to one of his current students, and began issuing directions.

“When these creatures first appear, they seem to be able to do so anywhere, allowing them to bypass almost any defensive measure that we can come up with. Combined with their ability to seemingly alter their mass and travel as a shadow along the ground, creating an entrenched defensive position inside an enclosed space seems to be a tactically unsound idea. Superior mobility is likely our best advantage. That said, they don’t seem to have any kind of predatory instinct for perusing the weak or wounded. In fact, they seem to be drawn to those actively fighting. Arrange for five of your least aggressive class-mates to escort the wounded out of the tower so they don’t slow us down. Inform them that they are to do their best to stay mobile. They’re to steal public transportation if necessary. Oh, and take McGinty with you. If he were any more 'dead on his feet,' he’d be an Apostle, and frankly he’s starting to get on my nerves.”

“Yes Lord El-Melloi!” barked the student, seeming to barely stop himself from saluting, before darting away to carry out his instructions. The magus formerly known as Waver idly reflected that he couldn’t even remember the youth’s name.

“Crap. He’d be disappointed in me, not knowing the name of one of my subordinates,” he sighed. “Well, back to work. If we can just buy enough time for the Spiritual Invocation Department to come up with a method of countering or defending against these things, then we might just live to see tomorrow.”

“Multiple ‘Shadow’ units inbound. Requesting permission for ‘Hasta La Vista, Baby.’”

“Ugh. Granted.”

interlude out


Shirou and Rin stared at Saber. Her proclamation had filled them both with dread.

“The whole planet is under attack?” asked Shirou incredulously, praying that he had misunderstood his Servant somehow. When Saber responded to his question with a simple nod, his face fell.

“So what do we do now, then?” asked Rin quietly, trying to decide upon the best course of action. “We need coordination if we’re to have any chance of repelling this... for lack of a better word, invasion. Should we try to reach the church? Kotomine can probably direct us to where we’d do the most good.”

Across town, Lancer, a euphoric smile on his face, and Kirei, as dour as his stolen Servant was cheerful, battled the inhuman creatures. And Gilgamesh? Gilgamesh threw back his head and laughed.

Any input Shirou and Saber had to offer Rin went unheard, however, as the situation became even worse. Halfway down the street that Shirou walked everyday to and from school, the ground itself suddenly became covered in black-and-purple shadows. Then as if the writhing shadows were some sort of passage or gateway, a titan slowly emerged.

This new arrival was a completely different animal from the smaller beasts that they’d been dealing with so far. Though it was humanoid in shape, it was massive in size, dwarfing even the Berserker summoned by Illyasviel von Einzbern, with a physique that, although muscular-appearing, on closer inspection seemed to be a caricature of the human form. While its legs were relatively short, its arms were disproportionately long and looked strong enough to juggle small cars. Strangely, there was a large hole in the monster’s abdominal area, in the shape of a stylised heart, through which the buildings behind were completely visible. Its head was covered in dozens of twisted, black tentacles, and, like its less hulking counterparts, had small, glowing yellow eyes.

Saber raised her blade. “Shirou, Rin. Please remain here,” she instructed, with the air of one who was accustomed to having their commands followed.

However, before Saber could charge into battle, Archer’s called down from the rooftop. “You won’t object to me covering your approach, will you Saber?” he drawled.

Although he could not see her do it, Saber inclined her head slightly. “Your assistance would be unnecessary but nonetheless appreciated, Archer,” she replied, launching herself towards her target.

“Jeez, such gratitude for my skills. I should go on strike,” Archer lamented, as he began to unleash a storm of arrows.

Archer’s witty repartee was unfortunately cut short, as the area of the school grounds where he and Lancer had fought two days previously abruptly became engulfed by shadow, shadow that another of the larger monsters slowly began to emerge from.

Archer swore, and dismissed his bow. “It’s too close to the school for me to use an altered blade. I’ll have to get in close.” He dropped from the roof, next to the two crouching teenagers. “Sorry, Master,” he apologised. “It appears I’ll have to leave you unguarded aside from this unreliable guy.”

“Hey,” protested Shirou. “I won’t let anything near Tohsaka!”

Archer raised an eyebrow. “Yes, I’m certain that that stick will strike fear into the hearts of your enemies,” he said, his demeanour utterly mocking.

Shirou flushed, and was about to angrily retort when Archer seemed to come to a decision, and, letting out a tremendous sigh, began to speak, this time in a quiet, serious tone.

“Emiya Shirou. If there’s an opponent you cannot match in real life, beat them in your imagination. If you cannot beat them yourself, imagine something that you could beat them with.”

Shirou blinked. While he did not understand what the red-clad Servant meant, something about his words resonated with him. Despite this, the only reply he could offer was a bewildered “Huh?”

Archer rolled his eyes. “Damn it, your ignorance is embarrassing. You are a maker, not a fighter. Get it? It’s what you’ve done your entire life. You always produce an image in your mind, and then you work to make it real. It’s what you always do,” he snorted. “It’s completely obvious.”

As he finished his impromptu speech, a pair of matched swords, each a mirror image of the other, appeared in his hands. They were exquisite. Now armed, Archer began walking to meet the monster, which had emerged completely from the pool of shadows, and was lumbering towards the three. Suddenly, Archer stopped, and turned his head to look back at Rin.

“Oh, Master. If you’re still upset about the impotence of your curses, I’ll be sure to herd any coughing or sneezing monsters I see towards you,” he deadpanned, before leaping towards the behemoth, the grinding of Rin’s teeth the sole underscore to his departure.

While Rin fumed at her Servant’s impudence, Shirou looked over to Saber’s position, wanting to ensure that she was unharmed, only to find that she was now facing off against no less than three of the shadowy goliaths. He was unsure whether one of the trio was Saber’s original target, or if they were all attacking her to avenge one of their number that had already fallen to the Servant’s blade, but either way a moment of scrutiny showed that Saber still had a significant advantage, and was in no need of rescue. Even so, Shirou was getting tired of standing around doing nothing, and said as much to Rin.

“Be careful what you wish for, Emiya-kun,” Rin snarled. “Because here come some more of those freaks!”

It didn’t take very long for Shirou and Rin to dispatch said “freaks,” with Rin admittedly doing the lion’s share of the work, but only a few moments after they had finished, the two teens saw another group of similar numbers steadily making their way towards them.

“Ah, hell. Emiya, I’m using too many spells in too short a time. I’m going to run out of energy at this rate,” Rin panted. “Buy me a minute to catch my breath, would you?”

“No problem. Get behind me, I’ll give you a break,” said Shirou, determined to not be a burden. “Oh, wait. How’s Archer doing?”

Rin looked over to Archer’s fight. “It looks like he has that thing on the ropes,” she declared, her voice filled with pride in her Servant. “He’ll be finishing it off any second now.

Shirou tensed. “Head back towards him, then. I’ll push through these guys, and move towards Saber. It looks like she’s nearly done as well.”

Rin looked concerned. “Are you sure you can handle that many?” she asked.

“Not with this,” Shirou replied, gesturing to the steel rod in his right hand. “But...” he trailed off.

Shirou closed his eyes. “If you cannot beat them yourself, imagine something that you could beat them with,” he thought to himself. “Make something that will not lose to anything. Imagine the strongest. Imagine the best imitation that will deceive everybody, even yourself.”

But what should he imagine? Those swords of his? Those twin swords of black and white?

No. Another blade came to mind. The one that had intruded on the dream he had had the previous night.

But could he do it? Could he produce a sword like that?

It didn’t matter if he couldn’t, Shirou decided. He’d make it anyway. Even if it was impossible, no matter the consequences. If Emiya Shirou was an existence that couldn't save anyone, couldn't protect anyone, then he'd delude himself into thinking otherwise, until his self-deception became a reality. He drove the burning rod into his spine.

“Trace. On.”

Judge the concept of creation. Hypothesise the basic structure. Duplicate the composition material. Imitate the skill of its making. Sympathise with the experience of its growth. Reproduce the accumulated years. Excel every manufacturing process.

Every cell in Shirou's body burned, his nerves crying out in agony, but he ignored his body's demands to stop.

Bind the illusion, and forge a sword from it.

Shirou opened his eyes, and looked back at Rin. Nodding his head towards his right hand, he finished his earlier statement. “...with this I can.”

Rin was stunned. “How did you make that?” she asked. “And... what is it?”

Shirou’s head slowly tilted to one side. “...Projection. And it’s a sword, Tohsaka.”

Rin flushed, before stiffening with indignation. “I can see that, Emiya-kun,” she said, in a sweet tone of voice that sent a shiver of fear down Shirou’s spine. “But I’ve never seen a blade like it before.”

Shirou looked at the blade in his hand. It was strange. The strangest weapon he’d ever seen. It seemed to be designed to be wielded with a reverse grip. The black handle was misaligned from the shaft of the sword, and the equally askew, dull gold-coloured guard met with the blade’s thin, grey, slightly curved shaft to enclose the hilt completely. Instead of tapering to a point, the top of the shaft instead had two short bars extending from it, which connected to what Shirou could only describe as grey “teeth” extending like feathers from a wing-shaped mouth. The “teeth” varied in size, with the largest near the tip of the blade, and each descending bar being slightly smaller. Much like the tiger strap under the Tora-Shinai’s guard, the bizarre weapon also had an attached token. Extending from where the pommel would have been on another sword was a short chain attached to an ornament, a small green gem with two silver feathers spiralling around it.

He’s done it. He’d reproduced the sword. It was a poor imitation, enough that even a novice could probably tell it apart from the original with a little study, but it was enough.

“This is a Keyblade, Tohsaka,” said Shirou, his tone reverential. “And its name is Wayward Wind.”

The solemn atmosphere that had descended upon the two was then shattered when Shirou suddenly doubled over in pain. He was only impaired for a moment, however, before the pain vanished as abruptly as it appeared.

“Shirou. Are you all right?” Rin asked, her eyes not straying from the incoming shades.

“I’m fine,” Shirou replied. And it was the truth. All of a sudden, Shirou felt great. As if he’d been wearing weights his entire life and had only just now taken them off. He had to resist the urge to bounce on his heels.

Brimming with confidence, Shirou turned his attention to the pack of monsters in front of him. With this new feeling of strength, and the weapon he now held, he could defeat them. He felt unbeatable, no matter the opponent that stood before him. Unfortunately, his sudden burst of confidence was immediately extinguished when he noticed the reaction his projected blade had caused.

Every single one of the inhuman nightmares that Shirou could see had stopped moving, and they were staring right at him. Even the larger specimens that were mid-battle with the Servants seemed to have frozen, enough that any newcomer on the scene could have briefly mistaken them for statues.

And then, as if following some unheard command, they moved in unison, and began to stampede towards Shirou, who stood there frozen, like a deer caught in headlights.


*Interlude 2-2*

The Keyhole of Gaia, Fuyuki City, exact location: unknown.

If Gaia can feel, then what it feels now is fear. It hid from the Darkness long ago. It does not know, cannot remember why it fears it so, but it is afraid. So very afraid.

The instant the incarnations of the Darkness appeared, Alaya unleashed its beasts, the Protectors of Balance. But even with their great power, they cannot destroy the enemy permanently... and there are so many.

Despite their best efforts, the door has been penetrated; its core exposed.

Its Heart is devoured.

interlude out


“Emiya! RUN!” Rin roared, firing a barrage of Fin curses at the charging horde. Freed from his state of shock by her command, Shirou turned and followed the young girl as she fled towards Archer, his thoughts still spinning.

“Only you would do so something as stupid as making a sword that attracts monsters, in the middle of an invasion by said monsters!” Rin ranted, her left arm blurring. “Seriously, were you dropped on your head as a child or something?"

Shirou grimaced. They weren’t going to reach Archer in time, and both the bowman and Saber were being forced to fight through hosts of the black creatures in their attempts to reach them. “They’re after me! We need to split up!”

Rin was quickly burning through her last reserves of patience. “That’s even more stupid! Did you hit your head today while I wasn’t looking?” she shrieked.

Shirou met her eyes, his decision made and his will resolute. “Tohsaka. Go find Archer. I’m going to meet up with Saber,” he said, before suddenly changing direction and running off at an angle, apparently planning to sprint in an arc, back around towards Saber.

Rin hesitated for a moment, before continuing to flee towards her Servant. “Don’t die, Shirou,” she murmured.

Shirou ran. Shirou raced forward, at a pace that would have guaranteed him a spot on the Homurahara track team. He’d always been fairly quick on his feet, but never to this extent, he thought to himself. One of the black creatures suddenly barred his path, and without thinking, he swung the strange blade, slicing through it in one smooth motion. Another leapt at him form behind, and he span to the right, ensuring the blade’s teeth bit into the fiend’s midsection and destroyed it, making it vanish in the already familiar puff of black smoke.

He’d never delivered blows with such force before. Was it the Keyblade? Was the projection of Wayward Wind somehow empowering his muscles, making him stronger and faster than normal?

It was then that Shirou noticed that he had just about run out of road. Grinding to a halt, he discovered to his horror that, impossibly, a small section of the city, including the area he currently stood on, had risen into the air. Looking around, Shirou realised that, while he was distracted by leading the flood of monsters away from Rin, several parts of the ground the city was built upon had split off, drifting in the air as small floating islands. A sudden wind prompted him to look upwards, where he belatedly noticed that the entire sky had changed colour, darkening to a shade of indigo. He spotted what he assumed to be the cause of these preposterous occurrences; a hole in the sky, with swirling black and dark purple surrounding a crimson core that blazed like a dying star, small pieces of debris orbiting it.

The wind seemed to be picking up. The hair on the back of Shirou’s neck rose. He was no longer alone. Whirling around and bringing his reverse-grip blade up to a guard position, parallel to his chest, Shirou saw that yet another of the larger monsters now stood only a few feet away from him. He had nowhere to run.

“Well, all right then.” said Shirou, staring into the eyes of the abomination. “You like this sword so much? Then you can have it.” He charged towards his opponent. “You can have it BLADE FIRST!” he howled.

A purple glow began to emit from the stylised-heart shaped gap in the beast, and a salvo of three energy blasts fired in quick succession rocketed to meet Shirou’s advance, only to be deflected entirely and launched right back by quick swings of Wayward Wind. A follow-up cluster of three slightly smaller blasts were dodged at the last moment by Shirou, who used the motion to get within the creature’s guard, in reach of where several vital points would be on a human body.

Shirou was able to attack with an extended flurry of horizontal blows before being forced to move away to avoid a strike from the monster. A part of Shirou's mind not engrossed in the rush of combat noted its reaction time was relatively poor. After attempting to swipe Shirou (and missing him completely,) the fiend raised its right arm, and a purple glow began to radiate from its hand, before it thrust the arm downwards. Shirou avoided the strike with little difficulty, but discovered that the attack had had another purpose. Where the beast’s fist struck the ground, a large pool of shadows appeared, with a group of the monster’s smaller brethren emerging from it a second later. Shirou charged in, attacking the still-exposed arm with wide, back-handed slashes, while dispatching any of the smaller enemies that got too close to him.

Before long, the giant abandoned the tactic and retracted his arm, causing the miasma of darkness to fade. Taking a few moments to eliminate the remainder of what he could now only think of as “the small-fry,” Shirou then pressed his assault on the immense fiend, continuing to focus on its right side. Thus he was caught off-guard when the beast’s left arm suddenly plunged through the ground as if it were water, releasing a shockwave of energy that threw him off his feet in the process.

Recovering quickly, Shirou leapt to his feet, and launched himself at the monster’s right arm, using it as a platform to let loose an extremely fast back-and-forth set of cross slashes directly at the face of his colossal adversary, immediately followed by a powerful overhead spinning strike.

Shirou leapt back, retreating outside of his opponent’s reach. It seemed that last combination had finally broken the beast’s will to fight. Suddenly, the wind that had steadily been picking up for the entire confrontation picked up exponentially, to the point where Shirou had to brace himself against it. Accurately gauging the wind’s direction, Shirou again looked up to find that the hole in the sky now seemed to be trying to draw him in, acting like some sort of malevolent vacuum cleaner.

As if Shirou’s somewhat disdainful comparison angered the aperture, the wind speed again increased, this time by an order of magnitude, enough to even begin drawing Shirou's fallen adversary into its clutches. Rising into the air, Shirou had to quickly ram his imitation Keyblade into the ground and hold on to it to avoid being pulled in. Unfortunately, after being used copiously since its construction, this was the proverbial last straw for the projection. The traced Keyblade cracked when thrust into the ground, and the pressure of serving as an anchor for more than a few seconds proved too much for it entirely. The blade shattered, and Shirou, caught by surprise, rapidly rose into the air, far too quickly for him to find another method of securing himself to the ground.

In the corner of his eye, Shirou caught sight of a flash of blue. Royal blue. Saber was on one of the adjacent islands, looking up at him in horror. The second Shirou made eye contact with her, she blurred into action, leaping several hundred feet to the island Shirou had stood on only moments before, in an astonishing display of athletic ability. An instant after she landed, she leapt into the air towards her summoner, hand outstretched, in a desperate attempt to liberate him from the dark opening's grasp. Shirou, only inches away from the abyss, caught sight of this and stretched out his hand to meet hers. But it was too late. Shirou fell into the void.

The darkness around Shirou was stifling, cloying. He felt as if he could hardly breathe. It continued to grow and surround him, strangling the portal of light that he could still faintly see his frantic Servant through. His vision beginning to fade, he desperately called Saber’s name one final time, and then, with darkness his only companion, and a burning sensation on his left hand, Emiya Shirou lost consciousness.

End Chapter 1

Right then. Please let me know what you think, and what areas can be improved upon. Or you can just not post at all. I LOVE IT WHEN YOU GUYS DO THAT.

 

[burningclaw2]

That was awesome.

 

[Muramasa]

This was... really fun actually. Good action all around.


One minor thing I caught:

While Rin fumed at her Servant’s impudence, Shirou looked over to Saber’s position, wanting to ensure that she was unharmed, only to find that she was now facing off against no less than of the shadowy goliaths.

I imagine there's supposed to be a number in there somewhere.

 

[daniel_gudman]

So I'm gonna be honest, I don't know much about Kingdom Hearts; I tried playing it, but I was like "this is just too dumb" during the intro, so I never got into it, I don't like it.

Therefore, I had absolutely no idea what was going on in the prologue. It was basically a couple hundred words of Author Mouthpiece telling me, "This is like a Want-of-a-Nail story that diverged from the real story or w/e", so my advice was, "cut all of it."

When Shirou pulled out the Keyblade, I was like, "oh." It's pretty weird that it showed up out of nowhere. I mean, Tracing doesn't work like that, basically. (Also Shirou didn't monologue for hundreds of words before Projecting on Archer's advice, which seemed odd). Until then I thought that the Shadows were lesser versions of Sakura's Dark Giant familiars, so I thought the divergence would be something about Sakura.

Personally... I was kinda slogging through the story until the Monsters Showed Up, and then I was actually interested seeing these two react.

So you might have a better time doing the "in media res" thing, and starting during the Confrontation between Shirou and Rin, which gets interupted as you diverge from the story. And the prologue was basically redundant, it doesn't add anything, there aren't any events that need it.

Don't do the interlude-cut thing to characters that are, practically, unimportant.

Actually, don't do any cuts. You made them all basically Gilligan Cuts and they completely destroyed the tension you were building up. They were all... they weren't funny, exactly, they were more light-hearted, so they contradicted the "waves and waves of monsters" thing. Linger more, and make the monsters scarier.

I can't tell where you're going with this. I mean, in terms of direct plot it's some kinda End of the World Apocolypse thing, but in terms of the atmosphere you're establishing, it's not anything serious.

...if the world itself is being threatened by these phantoms, then it would scream for help...? I dunno that these Shadows can defeat all the Types that would show up.

OTOH if humans saved the world, that might change the relationship between Gaia and Alaya pretty fundamentally, huh.

Basically I can't tell where you're going with this.

 

[lask]

...if the world itself is being threatened by these phantoms, then it would scream for help...? I dunno that these Shadows can defeat all the Types that would show up.

Wouldn't have time to matter if the Heartless have found the Keyhole of the World. Unless it's sealed (and there are a limited number of things that can seal a Keyhole) that universe will end in the next 3-5 minutes or so as it's subsumed by the realm of darkness.

Beings with exceptionally strong hearts will maintain themselves. They'll either collapse into themselves, becoming the local summonings, or wash up onto another world. Being really strong (of heart, no other metric matters) doesn't really help beyond a certain point - there are 'weaker' character that have washed up, and stronger ones who've become summonings.

Likewise even if they types got there in time to defend the Keyhole, it wouldn't matter. Bigtons doesn't effect them, your strength of heart empowers you to effect them (then you can empower your bigtons with your strength of heart).

Nasuverse conceptional weapons would help, but most of them are focused on the wrong kind of thing. You don't kill the heartless by making them dead, they're already dead incomplete things striving for completeness. You dissipate the heartless by wielding your wholeness, your connection to others, your passion, the heat and flash of life, and investing it in everything you do. Or the evil equivalent - I'm pretty sure Kirei all cosuming emptiness would qualify him as a wielder of Darkness, which can also be turned against the Heartless.

They're incomplete seeking completeness, they can't deny your Light (or darkness), even if it accompanies something that destroys them.

With all the concept magic floating around, Type-Moon earth could totally have a couple unethical magi rip the souls out of a loving couple and invest it in a pair of blades that can cut down the Heartless with ease. They just don't have them ready and standing by, being more concerned with things like dead apostles.

 

[daniel_gudman]

A "Type" is something that, after a long time, has destroyed every other occupant of their homeworld that could possibly defeat it, until they become the unquestioned "Supreme Existance" that synchronized with the World and became one with the Planet's Will.

...In Notes they're referred to as "Aristotles" because they are philosophically perfect beings, the Platonic Ideal of their world. It is semantically impossible for them to be "incomplete" or "unwhole".

Based on what you said, shouldn't something like Crystal Valley destroy the Heartless simply by existing?

 

[lask]

No, for the same reason a world, complete and whole, doesn't destroy the heartless by existing. A Type is complete and whole... in themselves. They're singular existences, they don't love others or long for others or hate others or be clawed at by their own emptiness and lack of that connection.

Well, except for Type-Moon. He's social enough to that I think he can exert the will of his Heart, so he should do pretty well, like the Olympians whose world never seemed to be in real danger. He couldn't really make headway, he would be dissipating them, not banishing them (which still doesn't get rid of heartless forever, that's basically impossible). Still, as long as he's guarding the Moon, the Moon's heart should never fall to darkness.

Right Zelretch?


Oh.

Opps?

 

[Deathwings]

Yeah, lask is basically right, the only way to kill Heartless and make it stick is by literally weaponizing the Power Of Friendship. So in a way the TYPE are especially weak to the Heartless' predation.

 

[lask]

Which makes perfect sense in a thematic sense, since the Heartless are world-eaters. It's what they are, what they do. It's one of the things making the crossover easier. Though there are plenty of less compantable metaphysics to make the crossover harder down the road.

Though power of friendship (Light) isn't the only thing that will work, you can also wield Darkness against them. It's harder, but as long as you're a deeper blackness then them, it will work. Just don't go deeper into the World of Darkness then your own foulness, or you'll end up like Meleficent.

 

[nixofcyzerra]

This was... really fun actually. Good action all around.

Thank you! I'll be honest, the fight scenes are the parts I'm most worried about. Looking at the Shirou vs Darkside fight, I feel it could be more... dynamic. Did you find it enjoyable?

One minor thing I caught:

While Rin fumed at her Servant’s impudence, Shirou looked over to Saber’s position, wanting to ensure that she was unharmed, only to find that she was now facing off against no less than of the shadowy goliaths.

I imagine there's supposed to be a number in there somewhere.

Yeah, there is. Editing now. I originally had Saber fighting 2 Darksides, but decided that that wasn't enough of a challenge for her. It's fine for Archer to take time to defeat just one, because he's a cerebral fighter. EoTM (True,) and all that. He'd evaluate an unfamiliar opponent, figuring out its limits before finishing it off. Saber, on the other hand, would be more aggressive and rely on her A-rank Instinct, so she'd probably be able to defeat even 2 at once fairly quickly.

So I'm gonna be honest, I don't know much about Kingdom Hearts; I tried playing it, but I was like "this is just too dumb" during the intro, so I never got into it, I don't like it.

Kingdom Hearts is currently the ninth best selling PlayStation 2 game of all time. Kingdom Hearts 2 sold over 4 million copies worldwide. The franchise is very good, and I highly recommend you take another look at it.

Therefore, I had absolutely no idea what was going on in the prologue. It was basically a couple hundred words of Author Mouthpiece telling me, "This is like a Want-of-a-Nail story that diverged from the real story or w/e", so my advice was, "cut all of it."

When Shirou pulled out the Keyblade, I was like, "oh." It's pretty weird that it showed up out of nowhere. I mean, Tracing doesn't work like that, basically. (Also Shirou didn't monologue for hundreds of words before Projecting on Archer's advice, which seemed odd). Until then I thought that the Shadows were lesser versions of Sakura's Dark Giant familiars, so I thought the divergence would be something about Sakura.

I'm pretty sure that both the prologue and Shirou being able to trace a keyblade would make much more sense to you if you had played KH Birth By Sleep. The prologue itself is essentially a modified and extended version of a scene from it, with a different location and some extra info given to foreshadow some later stuff. And you're right about the lack of monologue. I'll look into either extending that part, or conveying a greater sense of urgency, as if he just doesn't have time to think about it.

So you might have a better time doing the "in media res" thing, and starting during the Confrontation between Shirou and Rin, which gets interrupted as you diverge from the story. And the prologue was basically redundant, it doesn't add anything, there aren't any events that need it.

I actually did consider opening with the confrontation between Shirou and Rin back in the planning stages of the fic, with having the events in the prologue being a flash-back shown later, but I decided against it for a couple of reasons. I'm actually fairly sure that any reader who's a big enough KH fan would be able to puzzle out the majority of the fic's concept just by reading it; ie

Spoiler

Ven's heart joining with somebody who isn't Sora.

Also, one of the thematic staples of the KH series is to have scenes that have a lot more going on than first meets the eye. For example, one scene from KH Coded shines more light on a scene from KH1, a game brought out 9 years prior. I personally hope that when people read some of the later chapters I have written, upon re-reading the prologue they'll have some Fridge Brilliance moments.

I also considered having chapter 1 start with Shirou's and Rin's confrontation straight off the bat, but I decided against it. I needed to have Shirou dreaming of a Keyblade, so that his RM would record it and he could trace a copy when the heartless invaded, but just having him trace one with no warning or build-up seemed like way too much of an asspull. I will say that I wasn't totally happy with the transition between Shirou's dream and his face off with Rin, but it was only 7 lines, so I decided to not obsess over it. Maybe I'll take another look at it before I post on FF.net.

Don't do the interlude-cut thing to characters that are, practically, unimportant.

Actually, don't do any cuts. You made them all basically Gilligan Cuts and they completely destroyed the tension you were building up. They were all... they weren't funny, exactly, they were more light-hearted, so they contradicted the "waves and waves of monsters" thing. Linger more, and make the monsters scarier.

I'm not entirely sure exactly what you're referring to with this. Are you just talking about the Clock Tower interlude, or the throwaway sentences about Shirou wanting to find a better way of waking up Taiga, or his surprise at Rin's swearing ability, as well?

I wanted to throw in a scene of the Clock Tower for a couple of reasons, one of which being that the type-moon Earth is a World of Badass. (Link me to tvtropes, will you?) If I only showed Fuyuki, I'm sure I'd get questions about how other Nasu-verse occupants faired. I threw Lorelai in for one simple reason: she's considered one of the most, if not the most, dangerous Magi alive. She's "The Supreme Mage of the Present Era." I wanted to demonstrate the severity of the threat by showing that, despite her amazing power and skill, she was ultimately powerless in the face of a Heartless invasion.

Incidentally, if this fic proves popular enough after I post it on FF.net, I might hold a contest and have readers submit omake describing the actions of other nasu-verse individuals during the invasion, like Tohno Shiki or other Tsukihime characters.

As for the rest, the "better wake-up" line was before any drama or action really started, I thought the italicised paragraph describing the actions of Kotomine, Lancer and Gil across town was actually kind of foreboding, and the Keyhole interlude didn't have any humour in it at all.

You might be right about the "Shirou was surprised to discover just how proficient Rin was at cursing in German" line, though, but I felt that just writing Rin paling/swearing/whatever seemed a little lacking somehow. I'll look into revising it.

I can't tell where you're going with this. I mean, in terms of direct plot it's some kinda End of the World Apocolypse thing, but in terms of the atmosphere you're establishing, it's not anything serious.

Kingdom Hearts is the sort of series where you can hang out with Winnie the Pooh and all his friends, and then go fight Chernabog. You travel with Donald Duck and Goofy, and then take on Sephiroth. I'm hoping to capture that sort of atmosphere.

...if the world itself is being threatened by these phantoms, then it would scream for help...? I dunno that these Shadows can defeat all the Types that would show up.

Type-moon and it's descendants weren't just sitting around while all this was going on, but I'll be covering them later along with another plot point. As for the rest of the planetary body's Ultimate Ones, well, the invasion lasted less than an hour. I'm not that familiar with Notes, but is that enough time for Gaia to scream for help and the Ultimate One's to hear and respond?

With all the concept magic floating around, Type-Moon earth could totally have a couple unethical magi rip the souls out of a loving couple and invest it in a pair of blades that can cut down the Heartless with ease. They just don't have them ready and standing by, being more concerned with things like dead apostles.

While the Clock Tower hasn't really ever seen anything like the Heartless before, if they had had more time, it's possible that the Department of Spiritual Invocation could have come up with something like this. It would be very tricky, though, as even Magi can only examine a soul's contents or move one into a suitable vessel. They consider it "something that's there and not there and probably one of those fields that is just as hard to decipher as the solution to Schrodinger's Cat."


As for the subject of ORT vs Heartless, it would come down to a battle of concepts. Heartless just pop right back up unless you defeat them with a Keyblade, so their concept of death is different from a humans.

Types, on the other hand, have a concept of death that's even more different from humans. Check out the section on Substances here, and then ask yourselves this: If servants aren't comprised of Hearts, Bodies and Souls... then would Types be?

 

[happerry]

I like this, I like it a lot.

 

[nixofcyzerra]

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9521392/1/Iron-and-Light
Iron and Light by Nixofcyzerra
Emiya Shirou's wish has been granted, beyond his wildest imaginings. He does not rejoice; it tastes like ashes in his mouth. Now, in lieu of any of those chosen, he must journey across the stars to protect those still safe, and save those who have been lost. All in a day's work for a Hero of Justice, right?