Iron Fic 5-5: Promotions

Watashiwa

Administrator
Staff member
#1
The reward for a job well done is another job... at a higher pay grade with a fancier title. That's the idea, right? You do your job right and you get a better job bossing people around.

Sometimes this works and sometimes it does not. There are different skills needed to do a job and to manage said job, and added responsibilities. There are more complications as well: jealousy on the part of those passed over, rivalry from other departments, unrealistic expectations from upper management and temptation only gets worse the more power you have.

Some people flourish as they advance. Some people crack. Sometimes promotions are a means of moving a bad leader somewhere where they won't do so much damage... And other times the promotion of the wrong person at the right time makes all the diference.

So write a story about promotions. How do they happen: personal ability, nepotism, as part of a pre-existing contract or an under the table deal? How does it work out? And does the promotion work for the institution and the individual, or neither?

The challenge is made!

 

Herdo

Well-Known Member
#4
Here's my shitty attempt: [The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim] Bend Will.
I liked the idea when I was brainstorming but I failed to write it. Sorry for the cliché plot, grammatical errors, hideous writing and all that. <_< -_-
I won't win but at least people will be inspired/encouraged to write and upload more, as they have nothing to fear since they know that they can never be as bad as Herdo is at writing.-_-
 

Schema

Well-Known Member
#5
The fic itself was posted in time...

[Harry Potter] http://thefanfictionforum.net/showthread.php?tid=19918
 
#6
Late as always.

Http://thefanfictionforum.net/showthread.php?tid=19919
 

seitora

Well-Known Member
#7
A good part of my city is underwater still. I didn't have the time.
 

frostdragonz

Well-Known Member
#8
http://thefanfictionforum.net/showthread.php?tid=19920

Late but it's short.
 

Ninsaneja

Well-Known Member
#9
Iron Fic 5-5 (Promotions)
Judging-In-Exile
Glimmervoid – The Laundry Files Again – The Boss
Writing Proficiency: 18/20
Many missing commas
Theme (Promotions): 19/20
Source (The Laundry Files): 20/20
Story: 16/20
Other: 18/20
I understand how appropriate it is to the theme, but I’m getting bored of The Laundry Files.
Total: 91/100


Herdo – Skyrim – Bend Will
Writing Proficiency: 16/20
Wrong Tense
Missing letters
Theme (Promotions): 14/20
This is conquering, not a promotion but a coup.
Source (Skyrim): 19/20
Technical problems.
Story: 17/20
Contains a great depiction of a megalomanical dragonborn.
But not much else.
Other: 18/20
Repetitiveness in places that is technically correct yet grating.
Total: 84/100


Schema – Harry Potter – Heh, Look at That
Writing Proficiency: 14/20
Misspellings
Missing Punctuation
A larger amount of points per error was taken to reflect the increased percentage of the story each error represents.
Theme (Promotions): 20/20
Source (Harry Potter): 19/20
1 point has been removed because I am not sure Ron is capable of human emotions like pity. Or rather, “pitty.”
Story: 12/20
Short and to the point can be nice, but this hasn’t got any description and very little substance.
Other: 18/20
Confusing and again, a bit repetitive.
Total: 83/100


HH – Harry Potter – The Next Dark Lord
Writing Proficiency: 20/20
Nothing major I found
Theme (Promotions): 15/20
You’re describing it as a promotion, but it really isn’t. Buzzwords aside, this is a coup or charismatic leader situation.
Source (Harry Potter): 17/20
Hermione is not known to fire many guns.
Story: 20/20
Entertaining and not too short or too long.
Other: 18(20)/20
Late
Total: 90/100

Frostdragonz – Full Metal Panic – It’s Not Nepotism
Writing Proficiency: 15/20
Switched tenses midway/multiple incorrect tense
Theme (Promotions): 20.20
Source (FMP): 19/20
Story: 17/20
Other: 12(16)/20
The “Later…” construction is not preferred.
Also, late
Total: 85/100
 

Ninsaneja

Well-Known Member
#11
Schema: It was funny and on-theme.
That's worth a lot of points.
Because of the way the scores are divided, the most you can lose for having a lack of story is 20.
 

Watashiwa

Administrator
Staff member
#12
Apologies for the delay, meant to do this days ago but Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne my sister leaving the country for a year distracted me. (No seriously, family takes precedence).

[The Laundry Files] The Boss by Glimmervoid: 91+93+

[TES:Skyrim] Bend Will by Herdo: 84+81+

[Harry Potter] Heh. Look at That by Schema: 83+79+

[Harry Potter] The Next Dark Lord by Hardcore Heathen: 90+86+

[Full Metal Panic] It's Not Nepotism by frostdragonz: 85+71+

Note: Will be completed once I find a third judge.
 

The Ero-Sennin

The Eyes of Heaven
Staff member
#13
Scores!

Glimmervoid/The Boss: 96

Herdo/Bend Will: 88

Schema/Heh. Look at that: 68

Hardcore Heathen/The Next Dark Lord: 95

Frostdragonz/it's Not Nepotism: 88

Yay all tallied
 

Watashiwa

Administrator
Staff member
#14
(I found a third judge).


[The Laundry Files] The Boss by Glimmervoid: 91+93+96=280 (Avg.=93.33)

[TES:Skyrim] Bend Will by Herdo: 84+81+88=253 (Avg.=84.33)

[Harry Potter] Heh. Look at That by Schema: 83+79+68=230 (Avg.=76.67)

[Harry Potter] The Next Dark Lord by Hardcore Heathen: 90+86+95=271 (Avg.=90.33)

[Full Metal Panic] It's Not Nepotism by frostdragonz: 85+71+88=244 (Avg.=81.33)

Another win for Glimmervoid and The Laundry Files! Thanks for writing, hope to see you again!
 
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