Iron Fic Winter Olympics Speed Challenge!

Watashiwa

Watashiwa

Administrator
Staff member
#1
#1
Blind Spotsù4 Hour Challenge

We all have our blind spots. Places where our sight fails us, literally or figuratively. Maybe you lack peripheral vision, or canÆt see the forest for the trees. Maybe you canÆt see (or refuse to see) how someone really feels about you or a friend. Or maybe youÆve been blinkered, unable to see anything except whatÆs right in front of you.

Regardless, your challenge is to write a one shot (within four hours!) about something that manages to get inside one of your (characters) blind spots.

This is a four hour challenge! No word count, so just write a one-shot! Let your furious typing heat your soul, and make it delicious!
 
M

Megaolix

Well-Known Member
#3
#3
Well, this one was literally in my blind spot. I left before I saw this and came back after it was over.
 
C

Cornuthaum

Well-Known Member
#4
#4
Megaolix said:
Well, thsi one was literally in my blind spot. I left before I saw this and came back after it was over.
Click to expand...
same here.

Oops :(
 
T

Takerial

Well-Known Member
#6
#6
I worked for 12 hours today. I think I have a good excuse.
 
Watashiwa

Watashiwa

Administrator
Staff member
#8
#8
Five minutes late... five ****ing minutes late. Argh.

Hatred

Hatred is loves opposite, the antagonistic attracting force. You canÆt stand the object of your hatred, but something about it draws you back. Maybe itÆs a rival, or a symbol of things best left forgotten, a memory that taunts you in its fleetingnessà Whatever it is, you hate it, and wish it would just go away. But even when itÆs gone, you canÆt help but think about it.

What is it you hate, and why does it haunt you so?

Whatever it is, cook it up and make it delicious!
 
S

Shaderic

Well-Known Member
#12
#12
And the first Judge reports in!
I'm counting chapters 1&2 as your entry for challenge 1, alright?

Grasp of the English language (Readability): 17/20. Good grammar and spelling. The brackets are a little odd, at first, but not too bad. But your flow is a bit... odd.

Use of the theme:10/20. Look, I can... sort of see where you're coming from. But this isn't quite what I would really call a piece about a blindspot.

Use of details: 08/20. I'm sorry here. You have all these neat opportunities to talk more about stuff, and flesh things out more.

Story/Plot: 10/20. OK, so I admit, that I'm a NaruHina fan, but this? Somehow, it stretches my suspension of belief. Do I like the basic idea behind it? Yes. Could it be written a hell of a lot better? Also yes.

General awesomeness: 06/20. Yes, we have a couple of very H moments, but that can't pull you out of the hole here. You had a nice thing going in the beginning of the second chapter, but it died pretty quick.

OVERALL:51/100

Comments: OK, I admit, this is a little harsh. OK, alot harsh. But don't let that get you down. You have a good idea, and some nice pieces in there. They just need some more refinement. I wish you luck with future works.

Also, feel free to argue with me on points here. I'm always willing to listen to another side of the story.
 
violinmana

violinmana

(Hardcore) Gamer
#13
#13
Shaderic said:
And the first Judge reports in!
I'm counting chapters 1&2 as your entry for challenge 1, alright?

Grasp of the English language (Readability): 17/20. Good grammar and spelling. The brackets are a little odd, at first, but not too bad. But your flow is a bit... odd.

Use of the theme:10/20. Look, I can... sort of see where you're coming from. But this isn't quite what I would really call a piece about a blindspot.

Use of details: 08/20. I'm sorry here. You have all these neat opportunities to talk more about stuff, and flesh things out more.

Story/Plot: 10/20. OK, so I admit, that I'm a NaruHina fan, but this? Somehow, it stretches my suspension of belief. Do I like the basic idea behind it? Yes. Could it be written a hell of a lot better? Also yes.

General awesomeness: 06/20. Yes, we have a couple of very H moments, but that can't pull you out of the hole here. You had a nice thing going in the beginning of the second chapter, but it died pretty quick.

OVERALL:51/100

Comments: OK, I admit, this is a little harsh. OK, alot harsh. But don't let that get you down. You have a good idea, and some nice pieces in there. They just need some more refinement. I wish you luck with future works.

Also, feel free to argue with me on points here. I'm always willing to listen to another side of the story.
Click to expand...
Really, the only part that was submitted for the contest was the second chapter. The two chapters use completely different writing styles.

The blind spot? Naruto not seeing that Tenten had the hots for Hinata's ass. Seriously. It may be lame, but... heh.

As a entry into IF, this was written very quickly, and my beta/editor only had time to get the first half down. Before I post this on ff.net or my LJ, I'm going to have to go over this with a fine comb. A very fine comb. With stiff horsehairs, which hurts like a motherfucker.

I agree, this could have been much better, but unfortunately, I'm more of a DoT writer. *shrugs*

Also, you're the only one to not mention the DESPAIR!

EDIT: You're not the first judge, ironically enough. Megaolix beat you by about 2.483 hours.
 
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