Prologue
The store clerk's eyes briefly flicked over in his direction, passing over him like he wasn't there.
"Aw man," Naruto whined to himself impatiently. The clerk had already spent half an hour helping a young and beautiful chuunin girl with lush, raven colored hair.
"This sucks," he decided. He stamped out of the store noisily, briefly catching the shop keeper's irritation and the chuunin's cold disdain out of the corner of his eye.
Always the same. The merchants of Konoha would gladly accept his money, but he could only ever expect the worst level of service imaginable. The clerks all had a tendency to favor certain familiar faces (with names Naruto didn't really care to know, like "Hyuuga" and "Sarutobi" -- names he should have known, of course, but at the age of seven he was too much a self-absorbed brat to ever connect someone everyone looked up to like the Hokage with a cigar smoking newly-minted jounin). After that came anyone wearing a vest, and then anyone wearing a headband in general. But even Naruto knew that impersonating a ninja was a criminal offense. Been there, done that.
The pecking order didn't stop there. After the obvious ninjas and the people everyone seemed to know came men who carried themselves with a great deal of respect and dignity (mostly clients of the village and wealthy merchants, not that Naruto knew), then the pretty ladies (who strangely received less polite yet more eager attention), followed then by presentable looking adult men, then children, then the ugly women, and all the way at the bottom, somewhere beneath the fattest whale of a woman that Naruto had ever seen, was Naruto.
Rarely ever any service until he was set to pay, curt treatment that was often outright disrespectful, and no pleasantries or conversation exchanged beyond the bare bones minimum.
Demanding service would get Naruto kicked out. And rounded up by the police if he carried on too much. Once he even got sent to the Hokage. Normally he enjoyed meeting with the Old Geezer (capitalized), but that time the Hokage made him sweat and squirm for almost an hour.
Naruto kicked a rock in frustration. He followed the cloud of dirt it kicked up with his eyes all the way to where it connected with the foot of a man wearing a business suit. The man regarded Naruto for a second.
"Watch it kid."
"R-right," Naruto stammered out. The man walked away, briefly sparing a second glance over his shoulder as Naruto followed him with his eyes. The businessman had a cold look, but it was different. He didn't recognize Naruto? Was he from out of town?
A sudden epiphany came to Naruto as if a light bulb flicked on in his head. Some of the people who came to Konoha were from out of the village right? And the merchants treated them with respect right? That guy in the business suit would probably get better service than a pretty blond girl with giant knockers. The merchants would assume he was either a successful merchant on business with the village... or a wealthy client that the village depended on. That guy mattered. Even a self-absorbed seven year old flunky like Naruto understood that much.
And it wasn't illegal to walk around the village in henge. Even if the instructors told everyone not to at the academy.
Naruto performed the jutsu. His henge did not turn out perfectly. The face was a bit squashed and he was clearly shorter than the businessman, but he felt like a million ryou wearing, no, shrouded by the appearance of an expensive suit.
He impersonated the walk of the businessman as best he could back to the shop, never even realizing that more than a dozen ninja were watching him, more curious than anything. Someone that bad at being a ninja could not possibly have broken into the village, so the shinobi of Konoha correctly deduced that it was an academy student and let the event slide.
The effect of Naruto's henge had an immediate impact on the service he received in the shop. The chuunin girl was no longer there (a good thing; Naruto's experience might have ended very differently had she been there), only a silver haired ninja wearing a jounin's vest who had politely refused service.
The merchant seemed confused, at first, why Naruto -- now a stranger -- would be interested in children's clothing, but accepted the explanation Naruto gave that it was "for my son."
Naruto hoped he sounded manly enough when he said that. Discretely he noticed the jounin train his one eye on Naruto inquisitively. But the jounin never said a word. And for the first time in young Naruto's life he normal.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Idea
[To clarify, the James Bond influence stems from the movies -- although I have seen almost every movie more than once, I have not read any of the books.]
I started with a snippet since I felt it would explain this concept better than just saying "James Bond meets Naruto." Done right I think this could be an interesting concept; loaded down with canned, corny humor ("The name's Naruto, Uzumaki Naruto" errrr - no.) or complete character derailment and the idea would fall to pieces.
The premise is that a young Naruto discovers the value of henge and really takes a shine to it in a big, big way. Henge is for this Naruto what Kage Bunshin is for canon Naruto.
The key to good henge use, as Naruto learns over the years, is becoming the identity of whoever he's henge'd as. Want to be a merchant who trades expensive wines? Got to be able to act the part. Even if henge is a rudimentary technique, there's a reason the academy trains students to master it.
For this idea to work, I think the associations with James Bond have to arise naturally, so that Naruto is not merely some NINO Bond clone, but simply more Bond-like and dealing with more Bond-like problems. This would mean a gradual evolution that requires that the Sandaime (among others) would have to recognize Naruto's talent and cultivate it, developing Naruto into an infiltration specialist "secret agent."
Important question:
What does that mean for genin arrangements? I don't know yet. One possibility is having him apprenticed to somebody, or shipped off to work with ANBU, possibly even under Danzou (though with Sarutobi's ever present watchful eye over him).
Another important question:
What changes should be made to the Naruto world to make it more conducive to this type of story? Obviously there has to be more focus on village relations. I think Akatsuki can take the role of Spectre, but I think I need a village like Kumo, for example, to play the role of Russia. Are Akatsuki still after the jinchuuriki? Or something altogether different? And what of Orochimaru? Will he still invade Konoha? Still go for Sasuke?
Some AU is clearly acceptable here, and I think it can actually be done really well without losing too much in the way of canon characterizations.
Incorporating Bond with Naruto:
Again, rather than simply making Naruto a Bond-clone, I think the idea works best if there is some blending between canon Naruto and James Bond. So let's examine Bond traits (as I see them) and how I think they could relate...
1. Bond's most important trait is the chaos and calamity he leaves in his wake. For a secret agent, he sure does stir up a lot of trouble all the time. It's no wonder that people have heard all about him when you consider the trail of bodies and explosions.
Canon Naruto is frightfully similar in this regard. The meaning of subtle escapes him. This shared trait is a large part of why this idea is even possible without being a total NINO.
2. Bond is fundamentally a showoff. This relates back to (1), but is also worth talking about as a separate point.
2a. Bond one-liners. Often when there's no real need for a quip.
2b. A commanding presence (whether it's Connery's almost animal undercurrent or Moore's cultured sophistication; hell, even Daniel Craig stands out in a crowd very noticeably)
2c. Dresses to impress. Drives awesome cars. Loves to talk wine.
2d. Most importantly, frequently upstages people, especially in the Moore and Brosnan incarnations
Naruto is also a showoff, although he goes about it a bit differently. Trying (and failing) to upstage Sasuke is like half of part 1 of the manga. One-liners are something I think Naruto would add to his arsenal if he had the wit for them. And although it's hard to call Naruto's presence commanding (even now, with all the power he has), there's no question that he makes a presence. The only real issue here would be the way he dresses and the lack of cars in the Naruverse.
I think the important thing here is to meet Bond halfway. The lack of culture is a big, big difference between Naruto and Bond, so obviously Naruto will have to develop some, but overdeveloping this attribute would making him into a NINO in no time flat.
3. The Bond girls. Just... yeah. Every incarnation of Bond is a charmer, although the exact methods, mentality and morality regarding women changes from one Bond to another. Early incarnations made him a real Casanova, but he often suffered from a tendency to treat women as disposable. Later incarnations seem to have more meaningful, yet arguably even more dysfunctional, love lives.
Canon Naruto cannot be rectified with disposable women mindset. Naruto's morality is a very defining feature, and even with catching Naruto young enough to sway his moral outlook, I feel that falling too far from canon would be a betrayal of his character. Sometimes a bit of NINO is okay, but again, I'm trying to merge canon Naruto with James Bond.
However, there's no reason to think that Naruto could not be made popular with the girls. When you get down to it, he has a number of traits in canon that girls go for and we know that there are girls with feelings for him, especially now.
I'm thinking: a bit of animal magnetism like Connery, but with more care shown towards the feelings of women.
I do think that this Naruto would lose his virginity at a young age. You can't send someone inexperienced on an S-class mission only to have them fall for a honey trap. Of course Naruto might fall for it anyway, but he'll find his way out in Bond-like fashion.
4. Bond is a combat pragmatist. Not only does he not fight fair, but he'll use anything and everything as a weapon, and that's a huge contributing factor to the chaos and calamity he causes.
This is actually a hard trait to rectify with canon Naruto. Despite being a ninja, and despite many chaotic tendencies, he's incredibly honor bound (albeit in a more western sense, rather than a traditional Japanese sense). It might not show all that well at first glance, but it's there. His nindo to never go back on his word. His tendency to fight fair. His sense of justice and his desire to impose it.
An important part of this Naruto's development will be to beat that out of him in training. And perhaps after facing some cruelty on missions.
5. Bond is very knowledgeable on many subjects. The exact degree varies with different incarnations (as always), but he can talk high-value art just as easily as he can talk nuclear fission.
Again, not canon Naruto, but I think this is a trait we can develop fairly easily if we assume a certain bit of fanon -- although it's near impossible otherwise. The certain bit of fanon I am thinking of is that Naruto didn't get good instruction at the academy. Perhaps not actively sabotaged, but certainly not focused on. Combined with his canon trait to spend time causing pranks and trying to stand out and it's no wonder this kid doesn't even know basic things like how chakra is a combination of physical and spiritual energy. For crying out loud, shouldn't that be like day one?
But with his henge he can get attention and many merchants will happily discuss their trade (barring business secrets), which Naruto soaks in, just happy that these guys are talking to him. So when Naruto graduates to genin, he has a lot of knowledge on random little things, enough to sound like he belongs.
Tools
Naruto's skill set is going to be different to reflect his different role.
Jutsu:
His favorite and best technique is his henge, which allows him to slip into circumstances that he'd otherwise be barred from, similar to how Bond relies on his culture and sophistication.
KB is up in the air at this point. I don't want Naruto relying on it the way he does in canon. Spam KB does not fit this Naruto. That said, it's a useful technique... but FFS let's avoid doing the Mizuki scene for the one millionth time, shall we?
Rasengan is something he could only ever learn from Jiraiya or Kakashi, so maybe when he's older...
Elemental jutsu: perhaps something for sensory. For example, a wind technique that allows him to feel the presence of other humans (but not gauge their strength, and risk giving himself away since it means he has to send chakra-laced wind away from his body -- not trying to create a super technique here, just something that can be used in a pinch). Or maybe a different elemental affinity? Water? Lightning?
Summoning? A summon would be incredibly useful, but relying on summons for information gathering might divert him from the Bond-like path. After all, Bond tends to stir the pot and see where the chips fall.
Genjutsu: training this area is something I'm seriously considering. Interrogation techniques would be very in keeping with Bond, especially the Daniel Craig version. Naruto doesn't have to be a genjutsu based fighter to have genjutsu interrogation techniques (e.g. Nugar's People Lie).
Weapons: this is an area Naruto would get a real boost. What would James Bond be without his gadgets? Naruto should have hidden weapons on his person, a trick kunai holster, perhaps a one-shot senbon launcher in his sleeve or his boot. Etc.
Poisons: this Naruto would have much more familiarity with poisons than canon, but although he may occasionally use them, it's not really his thing, just as it isn't James Bond's.
The store clerk's eyes briefly flicked over in his direction, passing over him like he wasn't there.
"Aw man," Naruto whined to himself impatiently. The clerk had already spent half an hour helping a young and beautiful chuunin girl with lush, raven colored hair.
"This sucks," he decided. He stamped out of the store noisily, briefly catching the shop keeper's irritation and the chuunin's cold disdain out of the corner of his eye.
Always the same. The merchants of Konoha would gladly accept his money, but he could only ever expect the worst level of service imaginable. The clerks all had a tendency to favor certain familiar faces (with names Naruto didn't really care to know, like "Hyuuga" and "Sarutobi" -- names he should have known, of course, but at the age of seven he was too much a self-absorbed brat to ever connect someone everyone looked up to like the Hokage with a cigar smoking newly-minted jounin). After that came anyone wearing a vest, and then anyone wearing a headband in general. But even Naruto knew that impersonating a ninja was a criminal offense. Been there, done that.
The pecking order didn't stop there. After the obvious ninjas and the people everyone seemed to know came men who carried themselves with a great deal of respect and dignity (mostly clients of the village and wealthy merchants, not that Naruto knew), then the pretty ladies (who strangely received less polite yet more eager attention), followed then by presentable looking adult men, then children, then the ugly women, and all the way at the bottom, somewhere beneath the fattest whale of a woman that Naruto had ever seen, was Naruto.
Rarely ever any service until he was set to pay, curt treatment that was often outright disrespectful, and no pleasantries or conversation exchanged beyond the bare bones minimum.
Demanding service would get Naruto kicked out. And rounded up by the police if he carried on too much. Once he even got sent to the Hokage. Normally he enjoyed meeting with the Old Geezer (capitalized), but that time the Hokage made him sweat and squirm for almost an hour.
Naruto kicked a rock in frustration. He followed the cloud of dirt it kicked up with his eyes all the way to where it connected with the foot of a man wearing a business suit. The man regarded Naruto for a second.
"Watch it kid."
"R-right," Naruto stammered out. The man walked away, briefly sparing a second glance over his shoulder as Naruto followed him with his eyes. The businessman had a cold look, but it was different. He didn't recognize Naruto? Was he from out of town?
A sudden epiphany came to Naruto as if a light bulb flicked on in his head. Some of the people who came to Konoha were from out of the village right? And the merchants treated them with respect right? That guy in the business suit would probably get better service than a pretty blond girl with giant knockers. The merchants would assume he was either a successful merchant on business with the village... or a wealthy client that the village depended on. That guy mattered. Even a self-absorbed seven year old flunky like Naruto understood that much.
And it wasn't illegal to walk around the village in henge. Even if the instructors told everyone not to at the academy.
Naruto performed the jutsu. His henge did not turn out perfectly. The face was a bit squashed and he was clearly shorter than the businessman, but he felt like a million ryou wearing, no, shrouded by the appearance of an expensive suit.
He impersonated the walk of the businessman as best he could back to the shop, never even realizing that more than a dozen ninja were watching him, more curious than anything. Someone that bad at being a ninja could not possibly have broken into the village, so the shinobi of Konoha correctly deduced that it was an academy student and let the event slide.
The effect of Naruto's henge had an immediate impact on the service he received in the shop. The chuunin girl was no longer there (a good thing; Naruto's experience might have ended very differently had she been there), only a silver haired ninja wearing a jounin's vest who had politely refused service.
The merchant seemed confused, at first, why Naruto -- now a stranger -- would be interested in children's clothing, but accepted the explanation Naruto gave that it was "for my son."
Naruto hoped he sounded manly enough when he said that. Discretely he noticed the jounin train his one eye on Naruto inquisitively. But the jounin never said a word. And for the first time in young Naruto's life he normal.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Idea
[To clarify, the James Bond influence stems from the movies -- although I have seen almost every movie more than once, I have not read any of the books.]
I started with a snippet since I felt it would explain this concept better than just saying "James Bond meets Naruto." Done right I think this could be an interesting concept; loaded down with canned, corny humor ("The name's Naruto, Uzumaki Naruto" errrr - no.) or complete character derailment and the idea would fall to pieces.
The premise is that a young Naruto discovers the value of henge and really takes a shine to it in a big, big way. Henge is for this Naruto what Kage Bunshin is for canon Naruto.
The key to good henge use, as Naruto learns over the years, is becoming the identity of whoever he's henge'd as. Want to be a merchant who trades expensive wines? Got to be able to act the part. Even if henge is a rudimentary technique, there's a reason the academy trains students to master it.
For this idea to work, I think the associations with James Bond have to arise naturally, so that Naruto is not merely some NINO Bond clone, but simply more Bond-like and dealing with more Bond-like problems. This would mean a gradual evolution that requires that the Sandaime (among others) would have to recognize Naruto's talent and cultivate it, developing Naruto into an infiltration specialist "secret agent."
Important question:
What does that mean for genin arrangements? I don't know yet. One possibility is having him apprenticed to somebody, or shipped off to work with ANBU, possibly even under Danzou (though with Sarutobi's ever present watchful eye over him).
Another important question:
What changes should be made to the Naruto world to make it more conducive to this type of story? Obviously there has to be more focus on village relations. I think Akatsuki can take the role of Spectre, but I think I need a village like Kumo, for example, to play the role of Russia. Are Akatsuki still after the jinchuuriki? Or something altogether different? And what of Orochimaru? Will he still invade Konoha? Still go for Sasuke?
Some AU is clearly acceptable here, and I think it can actually be done really well without losing too much in the way of canon characterizations.
Incorporating Bond with Naruto:
Again, rather than simply making Naruto a Bond-clone, I think the idea works best if there is some blending between canon Naruto and James Bond. So let's examine Bond traits (as I see them) and how I think they could relate...
1. Bond's most important trait is the chaos and calamity he leaves in his wake. For a secret agent, he sure does stir up a lot of trouble all the time. It's no wonder that people have heard all about him when you consider the trail of bodies and explosions.
Canon Naruto is frightfully similar in this regard. The meaning of subtle escapes him. This shared trait is a large part of why this idea is even possible without being a total NINO.
2. Bond is fundamentally a showoff. This relates back to (1), but is also worth talking about as a separate point.
2a. Bond one-liners. Often when there's no real need for a quip.
2b. A commanding presence (whether it's Connery's almost animal undercurrent or Moore's cultured sophistication; hell, even Daniel Craig stands out in a crowd very noticeably)
2c. Dresses to impress. Drives awesome cars. Loves to talk wine.
2d. Most importantly, frequently upstages people, especially in the Moore and Brosnan incarnations
Naruto is also a showoff, although he goes about it a bit differently. Trying (and failing) to upstage Sasuke is like half of part 1 of the manga. One-liners are something I think Naruto would add to his arsenal if he had the wit for them. And although it's hard to call Naruto's presence commanding (even now, with all the power he has), there's no question that he makes a presence. The only real issue here would be the way he dresses and the lack of cars in the Naruverse.
I think the important thing here is to meet Bond halfway. The lack of culture is a big, big difference between Naruto and Bond, so obviously Naruto will have to develop some, but overdeveloping this attribute would making him into a NINO in no time flat.
3. The Bond girls. Just... yeah. Every incarnation of Bond is a charmer, although the exact methods, mentality and morality regarding women changes from one Bond to another. Early incarnations made him a real Casanova, but he often suffered from a tendency to treat women as disposable. Later incarnations seem to have more meaningful, yet arguably even more dysfunctional, love lives.
Canon Naruto cannot be rectified with disposable women mindset. Naruto's morality is a very defining feature, and even with catching Naruto young enough to sway his moral outlook, I feel that falling too far from canon would be a betrayal of his character. Sometimes a bit of NINO is okay, but again, I'm trying to merge canon Naruto with James Bond.
However, there's no reason to think that Naruto could not be made popular with the girls. When you get down to it, he has a number of traits in canon that girls go for and we know that there are girls with feelings for him, especially now.
I'm thinking: a bit of animal magnetism like Connery, but with more care shown towards the feelings of women.
I do think that this Naruto would lose his virginity at a young age. You can't send someone inexperienced on an S-class mission only to have them fall for a honey trap. Of course Naruto might fall for it anyway, but he'll find his way out in Bond-like fashion.
4. Bond is a combat pragmatist. Not only does he not fight fair, but he'll use anything and everything as a weapon, and that's a huge contributing factor to the chaos and calamity he causes.
This is actually a hard trait to rectify with canon Naruto. Despite being a ninja, and despite many chaotic tendencies, he's incredibly honor bound (albeit in a more western sense, rather than a traditional Japanese sense). It might not show all that well at first glance, but it's there. His nindo to never go back on his word. His tendency to fight fair. His sense of justice and his desire to impose it.
An important part of this Naruto's development will be to beat that out of him in training. And perhaps after facing some cruelty on missions.
5. Bond is very knowledgeable on many subjects. The exact degree varies with different incarnations (as always), but he can talk high-value art just as easily as he can talk nuclear fission.
Again, not canon Naruto, but I think this is a trait we can develop fairly easily if we assume a certain bit of fanon -- although it's near impossible otherwise. The certain bit of fanon I am thinking of is that Naruto didn't get good instruction at the academy. Perhaps not actively sabotaged, but certainly not focused on. Combined with his canon trait to spend time causing pranks and trying to stand out and it's no wonder this kid doesn't even know basic things like how chakra is a combination of physical and spiritual energy. For crying out loud, shouldn't that be like day one?
But with his henge he can get attention and many merchants will happily discuss their trade (barring business secrets), which Naruto soaks in, just happy that these guys are talking to him. So when Naruto graduates to genin, he has a lot of knowledge on random little things, enough to sound like he belongs.
Tools
Naruto's skill set is going to be different to reflect his different role.
Jutsu:
His favorite and best technique is his henge, which allows him to slip into circumstances that he'd otherwise be barred from, similar to how Bond relies on his culture and sophistication.
KB is up in the air at this point. I don't want Naruto relying on it the way he does in canon. Spam KB does not fit this Naruto. That said, it's a useful technique... but FFS let's avoid doing the Mizuki scene for the one millionth time, shall we?
Rasengan is something he could only ever learn from Jiraiya or Kakashi, so maybe when he's older...
Elemental jutsu: perhaps something for sensory. For example, a wind technique that allows him to feel the presence of other humans (but not gauge their strength, and risk giving himself away since it means he has to send chakra-laced wind away from his body -- not trying to create a super technique here, just something that can be used in a pinch). Or maybe a different elemental affinity? Water? Lightning?
Summoning? A summon would be incredibly useful, but relying on summons for information gathering might divert him from the Bond-like path. After all, Bond tends to stir the pot and see where the chips fall.
Genjutsu: training this area is something I'm seriously considering. Interrogation techniques would be very in keeping with Bond, especially the Daniel Craig version. Naruto doesn't have to be a genjutsu based fighter to have genjutsu interrogation techniques (e.g. Nugar's People Lie).
Weapons: this is an area Naruto would get a real boost. What would James Bond be without his gadgets? Naruto should have hidden weapons on his person, a trick kunai holster, perhaps a one-shot senbon launcher in his sleeve or his boot. Etc.
Poisons: this Naruto would have much more familiarity with poisons than canon, but although he may occasionally use them, it's not really his thing, just as it isn't James Bond's.
