Journey till we reunite (a JP web-novel retelling)

Writing exercise explanation


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I'm going to re-tell a translated japanese web-novel as a writing exercise. Hopefully, my grammar will be a lot better than the source material. Speaking of which here's the official title and summary,

Isekai Tensei – Kimi to no Saikai made Nagai koto Nagai koto

I was a delinquent that died when an accident occurred on a school trip. When I realized it I was the growing son of a farmer in another world. In this world where demons and demi-humans were in the middle of a war, I didn’t have some ability that made me a hero nor did I have magical powers. I didn’t know anything useful.
Then, why was I reincarnated?
Wait a second, when I reincarnated, was the girl who was my classmate that was riding on the same bus also reincarnated in this world? Alright, I’ve decided! I’ll reunite with that girl, and reach her with the feelings I couldn’t express in my previous life.
Here is what I'm planning to do,
  • read a translated chapter
  • make up my own summary for the chapter
  • re-write (or re-type?) the chapter with an online editor
  • post the re-written chapter in this thread
  • make another post with my summary and a link to my online editor for live comments
It is going to look like I'm double (or triple) posting, but I want to keep the posts with my notes/summary separate from the chapter itself so as to threadmark all the chapters. That way, if anyone wants to just read the whole thing, they can do so without discussion noise.

Why am I doing this?
My creative muse isn't doing anything. Which meant that I needed to look for an alternative. As the saying goes, "Good artists copy, great artists steal". So, if I can't come up with ideas to write upon, why not make use of someone else's? Hopefully, this will exercise my creative muscles to come up with more of my own ideas.

For how many chapters will I keep this up?
No idea. Perhaps I'll go all the way, or perhaps the source material will reach a point which disgusts me to the point that I drop the whole thing.

Will commenting in this thread encourage me to write more?
Yes, of course! I like hearing from my readers. :)

I think you are plagiarizing and want to complain to staff!
That ... is unfortunate. As a current member of staff (at time of writing) I'll refrain from voting on the issue and will accept any decision handed down by the rest of TFF staff.

Where did you find that description from?

Oh! I picked it up from this website = It's where I found this story on.

That should be enough explanation. The next post will be the prologue chapter.

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000 - My last regrets


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000 - My last regrets

Some say that your entire life will flash before your eyes in your last living moments. Others say that it’s a gimmick used by fiction authors to pull readers into a story. Perhaps there is a bit of truth in both. At any rate, that’s where I am right now - in my last living moments. It’s going to get depressing, so strap yourselves in for a flashback.

My name is Asakura and I was your typical delinquent. Middle school was all about getting into fights and building up my muscles. I hung out with like-minded kids from other schools and we would do all kinds of shenanigans together - hanging out past our bedtimes, getting chased by the local authorities who wanted to drag us back to school, riding bikes … etc. If there was an activity which could be attributed to a delinquent, we would have done it. Except stealing cheese.

Why is your face scrunched in that skeptical way, reader? I may have been a delinquent, but I had standards! Low standards, sure. But stealing cheese was out of the question!

“Ohhh! Asakura-kun’s bike makes a nice purring sound!”

She used to say things like that when I would ride around in my motorbike. In fact, that bike might have been what caught her attention. She was a sweet girl. Had good looks too. Not the kind of look which would rank in the class’s “Top 3 attractive females” group, but that I found pleasant none-the-less.

For the most part, none of the normal students hung around me. I was branded a delinquent and was satisfied with the label. Most of them did not want to get involved in my affairs and I didn’t want to get involved in their matters. The other delinquents did like my company. And her. She wasn’t one you would call a delinquent, but when she had time to spare, she would try to join in my conversations.

I think she once saw me running away from the authorities. It was a weekday and they wanted to drag me to school when I wanted to go bowling. The chase went across a few city blocks for almost 30 minutes. I thought I lost them when I snuck into a shed to hide, but it turned out to be the school shed - which was where she found me. She came there to pick up some equipment and well, it was a scene. There wasn’t any real point in leaving school then, so I went back to class. Or did she drag me back? I don’t remember.

I do remember her commenting on my running speed. She was impressed enough to ask me to join the relay team.

Those were the kind of activities she liked. She loved school. It was where she had a lot of fun. She was outspoken, motivated and had the kind of personality to pull one into whatever she was doing too.

Book-smart she wasn’t though. She was always there in the supplementary lessons I took. That was one part of being a delinquent which I didn’t like - taking those supplementary tests. I was forced to take and pass ‘em. The alternative was to repeat a year, which really sucked. She was probably the reason I managed to pass those tests, I suppose. Neither of us were at the top of the class, but she formed a study group and someone pulled me in.

The next thing I knew, our study group was doing the school play. I was drafted to be the racoon.

“Asakura-kun looks really good as a racoon. Lots of people will come to see our play because of you, so you must participate!”

I didn’t really want to be in the play. But she pulled me in. Our school field trip was that way too. I wasn’t interested in going, but as always she managed to drag me in. I didn’t notice it at first, but somehow I was drifting away from the path of delinquency. Normal students were willing to hang around me and my attendance became a bit more regular.

She was an annoying girl, that Kamino Mina. There were times when I was really annoyed by what she did, but she was the kind of female who was easy to approach too. It wasn’t too bad. Usually my mood would improve after a small chat with her.

I don’t know when I realized that I was in love with her. It was always this feeling that things were better with her around. The opportunity to confess never came up.

Our class field trip started out well. Students formed into their own groups and we boarded the bus. The journey was smooth. Our bus was overtaking a car when the curve suddenly appeared. This is probably a lesson of why you should never overtake another vehicle in the middle of a curve on a mountain, but it’s no longer our concern.

The bus tumbled down the side of the mountain. My head hit something and the next thing I knew, was that the bus was upside down somewhere. All around me were badly injured students. At least, those were the ones who were making some noise, but it didn’t last long. I was near Kamino - it was difficult to tell if she was alive or not, but even if she was, I don’t think she would have lasted long.

After all, I was about to expire myself. It was when the strange monologue started with some strange narrator putting thoughts into my head that I knew I was near the end. My life wasn’t too bad. I didn’t have many regrets being a delinquent and all. But I did have one regret and it was a big one.

“Kamino Mina, I love you. Please go out with me.”

I never got to tell those words to her. I was always hesitant to tell them. What if she never returned those feelings? Or just didn’t care for me as much? Now, I’ll never know.

With those thoughts, my life on earth ended.


Obsessively signs his posts
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Original source for chapter 000:
My summary/chapter-plan:
The MC (Main Character) is a delinquent who had a girl chase after him. It’s a bit obvious that she cares for him - to the point that he changed his behaviour for her. They got involved in an accident and he died regretting that he never confessed to her.
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Comments/Feedback appreciated!

001 - Realizing that I've been reincarnated


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001 - Realizing that I've been reincarnated

Our story begins with a young lad named Velt Jeeha. Velt was an ordinary 10 year old boy with an unordinary secret - he retained the memories of his prior life on earth! Isn’t that just incredible, folks? Oh wait … you are reading a fanfiction with “Isekai” in the title. More likely you are just upset that it took us two chapters to get to this point. Well good reader, that is where you are incorrect! This is the first chapter. Check back with the title and see for yourself. If anything you should be grateful that we are starting off with the obvious in the very first paragraph!

Ahem! Now where were we? … Oh yes! Asakura’s memories. Or Velt’s. It gets a bit confusing, but that is kind of the point. You see, he didn’t have those memories from the moment he was born. As best as he could tell, they popped into his head when he turned 8 years old. And that’s it. He hadn’t really done anything special or unique since then, besides randomly crying for no apparent reason. Even he wasn’t sure why it kept happening.

“Velt dear, what’s wrong? You cried last year around your birthday too, I think.” commented a concerned feminine voice.

Asakura … I mean, Velt didn’t have any answers. Who was he? The question wasn’t just a random philosophical question to him as it is for some of you readers. If you’ve never asked yourself such a question, then as a narrator, I must wonder - why are you reading an isekai story to begin with?

“Mom…” trailed off Velt, attempting to placate his mother.

“Was it a bad dream?” pressed the woman anyway, ignoring her son’s answer as most mothers do. Aruna Jeeha was a 26 year old redhead. She was an attractive girl who was known for her beauty among the neighbours. The kind of mother who loved spoiling her child, even when he was a little rebellious.

“Ha, ha, ha!” chuckled a nearby male voice. “Velt’s looking cute as always, isn’t he?” said the voice to Aruna.

“Would you like to sleep with your mama and papa, tonight?” asked his father.

Velt turned to face his dad, Bonapa Jeeha. He was much bigger, 29 years old, with blond hair and a solid build who was accustomed to hard labour. The guy had a switch which flipped whenever he caught sight of his wife and child, turning him into a doting father. His dere-dere switch, for those familiar with anime terminology.

“You don’t need to be concerned.” replied Velt in an annoyed huff. “I can sleep by myself!”

“Ohh Mama!” exclaimed his father with sparkles in his eyes. “Our little Velt is becoming an adult!”

Aruna furrowed her brows, indicating that she was a little upset. “I don’t like that tone of voice, Velt!” she said, with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. “Time for your punishment punches!”

“Bad! Bad!” she exclaimed, hitting Velt lightly. The punches didn’t really hurt him, but he got the message and nodded his head.

Velt Jeeha happened to glance at his own reflection in a nearby puddle. He was 10 year old, having inherited his mother’s red hair and his father’s high cheeks. He didn’t think he was the kind of boy anyone would call cute, and resisted his parents attempts to label him as such. But he was conflicted on the matter too. Did he want to grow closer to his parents? Bonapa and Aruna were his blood parents in this life. They obviously loved and cared for him. On the other hand, the so-called parents he had back on earth? They basically dis-inherited him. He never knew their love. It was a complex feeling.

“Hey Mama,” began Bonapa as he entered their home, “I heard that Velt did something during levitation practise at school.”

“Oh, Ohh!” replied Aruna enthusiastically, “This is news to me. When did you hear it?”

“His poor teacher was crying as he passed by the fields where I was working.” answered Velt’s father. “The class task was to use levitation to move a jar from one place to another, but our son recklessly threw the jar instead!”

Velt grimaced as he sat down. It was not one of his better classroom moments. But what else was he supposed to do, when he wasn’t able to use magic? He blamed the delinquent in his memories for that bad behavior.

“Ah,” began his mother with a smile. “You knew that it wasn’t something you could do with the normal method, so you found your own method instead. My son is very creative!”

“My thoughts exactly Mama!” exclaimed his father with cheer. “He chose such an exciting method too. Your father is proud of you, son!”

Asakura couldn’t help but worry that his parents were spoiling him. Back on earth, he was always told that school was important. The sentiment carried over in this new world too, even if there weren’t any conveniences like electricity, motor vehicles or shopping malls. It was a bit jarring to realize that people did not have access to cars in this world, but by then Velt was used to the sight of horses.

From his home it was possible to reach the royal capital in approximately 30 minutes. In fact, that was where Velt traveled to school for. He learned that his family was living within the Elfashia Kingdom, not inside the capital city proper, but just far enough so as not to be a hindrance to farming, yet near enough so that it was not too difficult to make regular trips to the city.

The capital city had a population of several million people, an achievement in its own right for a world without modern technology or transportation. Even more impressive was how peaceful everything usually was. As far as he knew, crime was not a problem and many of the citizens were content - a far cry from what he remembered of Earth.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to this.” commented Velt to himself thinking of the differences between his current world and Earth.

“Huh? What’s that?” asked his father, as the man sat down. “You can’t get used to school?” Looks like Velt wasn’t as quiet as he meant to be.

“Listen son,” resumed his father “If you are being bullied at school, just tell your reliable old man. Even if it’s some noble's son, Papa will gladly beat them up for troubling you!”

“Me too!” joined his mother. “Even if I can’t use magic, Mama will protect her dearest Velt. A few good punishment punches should take care of any troublemakers just fine!” She ended her statement punching into the air a few times.

From a pair of parents who dis-inherited him to this couple who loved to spoil him silly. Asakura couldn’t help but wonder if this was how his life was meant to be lived. Is it a good idea to just allow an only child to be that dependent on their parents? Based on what he remembered of Earth, he didn’t think it was a good idea and attempted to voice his thoughts.

“I am not being bullied!” Velt exclaimed with frustration. “Why are you both even so happy about beating up some random kid at school? If things go as they are, I might end up with failing grades and be forced to drop out. Shouldn’t you be angry with me instead?”

“Ha, ha, ha!” chuckled his father, shaking his head. “How can we ignore it when our boy is troubled?”

“But … you are correct.” he continued. Then he rolled up a nearby newspaper and bonked Velt on his head. “Bad Velt! Bad.” It was obvious that there was no real intent behind the admonishment.

Velt just started back at his father with flat eyes. Attempting to change the topic, he turned to his mother and asked, “Mama, I’m hungry. Please make me some food?”

In the meantime, his father opened the newspaper and started to read. Velt glanced over the headlines from where he stood. It took some time, but he was capable of reading this world’s alphabet. There was a picture of a very young boy carrying a sword on the front page.

“12 year old hero defeats the Kaiser Commander ‘Shishiten Ajin’” he read aloud. “Wow. We’re almost the same age and yet he’s participating in a war. Mister obedient.” he ended sarcastically.

It caught the attention of his father. “You are only 10 years old yourself and comparing yourself to war heros. Papa feels a bit worried.”

Asakura wasn’t too concerned about his father’s worries. He had been living in this new world for years and nothing had happened to make his suspect that he could be a hero himself. Or anything special for that matter. Besides his awakened memories, there really wasn’t anything of note about his existence. No God had appeared before him to give him some mythical quest. He did not have any special powers that were his own. As best as he knew, he was just a random farmer’s kid living a second life.

Velt resumed brooding over his troubles. Why did he regain Asakura’s memories? Was he someone who reincarnated into a new world? Or were his memories an anomaly which existed to confuse him? Did he truly gain a second life? If so, why? For what purpose? What reason?


Obsessively signs his posts
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Original source for chapter 001:
My chapter plan,
The MC is 10 years old and started having recollections about his former life from 8 years. He has loving parents in the new world (old world, they ignored him). He can’t seem to do magic and is unhappy about it. Both blood parents care for him to the point that he feels he’s being spoiled. For example, they offer, but he no longer wants to sleep with them. There is an example of what he did in school of being incapable of magic. The parents live an agricultural lifestyle. Think the father works in some fields. The MC goes to the city, the royal capital to school. It’s a 30 minutes distance. There is a scene of him reading from his father’s paper of another 12 year old defeating a commander, participating in a war .. etc. The father got concerned by it. Not sure why? MC is aware of the existence of heros, but does not appear to be one himself. The chapter ends with him being puzzled as to why he was given a second life and what he should do with his memories.
Editor link: