Prologue
Ring
Kirino glared at the phone from her position on the couch.Then Kirino glared at Tsukihi, willing her to answer the stupid phone.
Ring
"Pick up the damn phone Tsukihi," All that got from her was a cushion over Tsukihi's face. She could kind of see where Tsukihi was coming from. Before they could at least visit Keitaro at his apartment, while now he was in another city, and wasn't that strange. There was a Before Keitaro left and an After Keitaro left. Still Tsukihi hadn't spent nearly as much time with Keitaro as she had, so what right did she have to be so slothful?
"Bitch."
Ring
"Moshi Moshi, Urashima residence, Kirino speaking."
~Hi, this is Konata Izumi. I'm a friend of Keitaro's, could you pass him the phone?~
"He moved a while ago. He hasn't been around for about a month now." Kirino would have liked to have found out some way other than hearing it from Neighbor girl. She'd known her parents ultimatum but he could have at least said goodbye!
This was her karma coming back to bite her in the ass.
~Ah, well do you have a number I can reach him at?~
"No." His phone's voice mailbox was full when she'd called him just this morning.
~Do you have his address?~
"He didn't leave one." She would have forced her way in if she knew where he was.
~Well if you hear from him tell him to get in contact with me~
"I will, goodbye." But not before she beat some SENSE into him, the moron.
~Goodbye~
click
*Sniff*
***
click
"Well that was useless." Konata said looking down at her cell.
"Maybe
~YuKiN~ has heard from him?" Konata said looking at her computer thoughtfully.
Day of Sagittarius III
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Knights of Sagittarius X Loaded
Login:BitchiNinInBlue
Password:*K*o*n*a*t*a*U*r*a*s*h*i*m*a
BitchiNinInBlue has logged on
FrSrEx/SubZ-A
FRIEND SEARCH
Wingthesword
YuKiN
taK nwodedispU
Professor Yellow 4
Kirito
GGirlBajeena
eviLislivE
BlueBlaz
ArchAngel14
BitchiNinInBlueM:YuKiN:Hey YuKiN!
YuKiNM:BitchiNinInBlue welcome.
BitchiNinInBlueM:YuKiN:I've been trying to get in contact with Taro IRL, but no luck. Can you help?
YuKiNM:BitchiNinInBlue I will contact you with more information later.
Friend YuKiN logged out.
BitchiNinInBlue:Well that wasn't abrupt at all/sarcasm.
BitchiNinInBlueM:GGirlBajeena:Yo!
GGirlBajeenaM:Hail Ao-dono!~De Gozaru.
BitchiNinInBlueM:GGirlBajeena:Have you seen Taro?
GGirlBajeenaM:Taro-tono? Sessha cans't recall hearing from Taro-dono recently.~ De Gozaru.
BitchiNinInBlueM:GGirlBajeena:I've haven't been able to get ahold of him since a bit before Exam Week.
GGirlBajeenaM:Sessha shall attempt contact IRL then report back Ao-dono~De Gozaru.
BitchiNinInBlueM:GGirlBajeena:Tried that his sis says she doesn't know where he is or his number.
BitchiNinInBlueM:GGirlBajeena:You don't think he failed again do you?
GGirlBajeenaM:Sessha will let you know what she discovers Ao-dono~De Gozaru.
Friend GGirlBajeena logged out.
BitchiNinInBlueM:BitchiNinInBlue:FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BitchiNinInBlue logged out.
***
SCHLICK SCHLICK SCHLICK
"Mm Keimmph." Konata moaned into her pillow.
click
SCHLICK SCHLICK SCHLICK
"Konata I brought you some cheesecaaaay...ake," Sojirou trailed off awkwardly.
"This is exactly what it looks like," Konata muttered face down on the pillow glaring at her dad with one eye.
"Now get out." Soujiro was eager to just that!
"But leave the cake." Konata called out.
clack
SLAM
PAT.PAT.PAT.PAT.THUMP.THUMP.THUMP.THUMP.THUMP.THUMP.THUMP.THUMP.THUMP.THUMP!
***
"Oh, hey Uncle Sojirou, are you in a hurry?" Yui asked her uncle.
"NO no, just going for jog, have a good day Yui-chan," Soujirou said taking off.
SLAM
"I didn't even know he jogged." Yui muttered to herself as she popped her back after a hard day's work. After working so hard she should play as much Yui thought pumping her fist.
click
"Hey Konata. Gyaaaah!"
"This is why we need doors that lock."
***
Chapter 1
***
Somebody pointed out this should have it's own thread.
So here it is.
Scroll down to the red mark for a few short snippets.
***
"To think Kei-chan was this popular." Manami Tamura giggled.
"I'm not sure if I should be offended that you thought I wasn't or annoyed at how proud you look of me." Keitaro grumbled to his best friend.
"Kyon, refill." Haruhi demanded as imperious as any queen.
"I have a name, and it's not Kyon." Keitaro reprimanded his former club commander.
"Ara ara, so many people. Are these all new tenants Kei-kun?" Mutsumi asked from the door looking at the assembled women gathered in the living room of the Hinata Sou.
"I always knew you were too pretty to be guy Koizumi." Keitaro stated blandly to the man next to Haruhi.
"I'm honored, but I'm afraid I can't accept your proposal under false pretenses, as such I must inform you that I am a as you put it 'a too pretty guy'." Koizumi replied a with a too cheerful smile. Keitaro just clicked his tongue before turning back to Mutsumi.
"Most of these are my friends from high school." Keitaro explained.
"Guys this is Mutsumi Otohime, a friend also trying to get into Tokyo U." Keitaro introduced the busty brunette next to him. "We met while checking our results."
"So a pattern emerges, you're into the busty types aren't you!" Haruhi exclaimed.
"Onii-san you pervert" and other variations of it followed from several girls.
"I guess that means I have no chance so long as I hang around with you Miyuki." Konata told the pinkette louder than strictly necessary causing her to blush.
"I'm not even going to start with you two about that right now." Keitaro stated.
"These five are from the SOS-dan, the club I was in highschool. Haruhi is the one with the yellow riboon and the loud mouth." Keitaro ignore the offended 'Hey' that came from her and continued his introductions.
"Mikuru-chan is the one with red hair and business suit." Keitaro gestured towards a beautiful redheaded woman who smiled beatifically at Mutsumi who did the same in return.
"Yuki is the one in the blue sweater." Mutsumi received a brief nod in her direction from the young woman in blue.
"Tsuruya-sempai is the one in the green kimono." Mutsumi received an enthusiastic 'Hiyas' form a green haired woman with matching kimono.
"And Koizumi," Keitaro said without enthusiasm.
"My you two certainly get along well don't you Kei-kun!" Mutsumi said brightly.
"Indeed." Koizumi smiled a more normal smile, that wouldn't have made a younger Keitaro want to punch him.
"Yeah." Keitaro said simply.
"The one with the long blue hair and no sense of shame," "You got that right!" "is Konata Izumi. We met online and then met at comicket in person the first time. It's a funny story remind me to tell you sometime."
"Now who has no shame!" Konata teased.
"Still you." Keitaro shot back.
"Yui-san, Konata's cousin and a police woman." Keitaro introduced another green haired woman.
"Yutaka-chan, Yui-san's little sister, also Konata's cousin." This time indicating a pink haired high school girl.
"Miyuki-chan," "Big Tits Lover!" "One of Konata's friends and very knowledgeable, she will also try for Tokyo U."
"Hello," Miyuki said adjusting her glasses in a nervous gesture, still blushing.
"The Hiiragi Twins, the elder, Kagami-sama," "Gah!" "And the junior, Tsu-chan." The elder twin-tailed twin, there was joke in there somewhere, was blushing at her introduction, while the younger twin waved cheerily.
"Minami-san, Miyuki-chan's childhood friend and neighbor, and Yutaka-chan's classmate." This girl just gave Mutsumi a small bow.
"Hiyori-chan, Yutaka-chan and Minami-san's classmate, we've worked on doujins together before." This got a wave from pink eyed brunette.
"Patty, a transfer student from America." Keitaro motioned to a stereotypical American woman who gave her a polite bow.
"Ayano-san, Kagami-sama's," "Guh!*cough**cough*" "Onee-chan!" *pat*pat*pat* "Classmate." Another blonde waved at her this one obviously dyed and Japanese.
"Misao-san, Ayano-san's childhood friend, and Konata's future classmate at their university." This time Keitaro gestured to a woman in a billowly shirt and loose slacks.
"Ko-chan, a friend studying at Konata's future university, she's our age." A third blonde, this one platinum and tanned, gave Mutsumi a wave from where she sat.
"Izumi-chan, a friend and classmate of Hiyori-chan, Yutaka-chan, and Minami-san." Keitaro gestured to a long haired brunette.
"Kuroi-sensei, Konata's former teacher to be, I've no idea why she's here though considering I only met her at comicket once before." Keitaro gestured to a fourth blonde also in a business suite like Mikuru-chan. Mutsumi wondered why there were so many blondes here, did blondes have an affinity for Keitaro?
"This is Saori, we met because of my sister," this time the woman he was introducing was rather tall with silvery hair.
"Being proportionate to her doesn't make them normal size." Don't you have any tact at all Haruhi? Realize what you said is rude and apologize. "What?"
"Hi there." Saori offered her hand.
"Hello." Mutsumi replied taking the proffered limb.
"This is Ruri, but she prefers Kuroneko," Keitaro motioned to a girl dressed in black lace fanning herself.
"Kanako, my sister's friend and coworker, I work part-time as an assistant for her sister who's a mangaka." Another redhead was addressed this time. Stylish and confident she gave Mutsumi an amused grin.
"Ayase-tan, another of my sister's friends and coworker." This time it was long dark haired beauty that Mutsumi felt she'd seen before.
"Now finally,not last, but not least, my best friend since childhood, Manami." This time it was a brown haired girl in glasses.
"Double D means Doubly Desirable!" Haruhi apparently can't keep her preferences to herself. "Hey!"
"Thank you for taking care of Kei-chan for me." Manami said with a smile.
"It's no problem, Kei-kun's been very kind to me." Mutsumi assured her fellow brunette.
"Haruka,not be confused with my aunt." This time the girls being introduced was beautiful and seemed very friendly. A
"I'm sure a friend of Keitaro-san must be a good person!" Haruka greeted Mutsumi earnestly with a bow.
"I think so too." Mutsumi bowed back.
"And this is her little sister Mika-chan."
"Do you like Onii-san too?" Mika asked with a seriously cute face.
"Yes, Kei-kun is a dear friend of mine, just like Na-chan." Mutsumi answered.
"I see." Mika nodded to herself. "Write that down."
"Of course, Ojou-sama." A maid said writing down whatever it is that Mika wanted.
"And these are their maids, Hazuki-san." A silver haired woman with glasses wearing a maid uniform being the previously mentioned maid.
"Nana-san" A woman with dark blue hair in maid uniform with sunglasses, inside the house, gave a wave.
"And Alice-chan." A young blonde girl probably about Shinobu's age.
"Shiina-san, Haruka's rival pianist." a young rose haired woman in a dress gave her a bright smile although there was a slight twitch that Mutsumi thought she should have checked out.
"Touka-san, I worked as her butler for a bit." The girl merely turned her nose up at Mutsumi. 'Maybe she's having a bad day?' Mutsumi thought.
"Yukari-san, a friend of my elder sister also my former teacher." Keitaro gestured to another blonde, this one with bigger breasts than the others.
"Hi." the blonde said before taking a sip of her beer.
"Hello." Mutsumi replied.
"Tsubasa," "F isn't a failing grade with breasts." "Hitagi, Suruga and Nadeko I met by helping them out with some stuff which we shall never speak of except to say that we shall never speak of it," Keitaro pointed out four women.
"You can't do that Kyon. I demand to know!" Haruhi said one leg placed on the table pointing at him dramatically.
"Denied." Keitaro stated. He heard something like 'Kyon has become mean ever since he left the Brigade' as Haruhi slumped.
"And finally my family members. I honestly have no idea how everyone got in through the door much less how they all ended up coming here at the same time." Keitaro sighed.
"My elder sister Ruko." A black haired woman in a black business suit lifted her beer in a toast like fashion next to Yukari-san.
"Kanako-chan," this time a girl wearing navy one piece school uniform.
"Kirino," a stylishly dressed blonde.
"The fire twins Karen and Tsukishi." A sporty seeming brunette and a kimono wearing brunette were gestured to in turn.
"And my youngest sibling Kamiko." A young middle schooler with her hair tied in a side pony tail.
"So why are all of Kei-kun's friends visisting today? Is it a special day, a party, a celebration? Should I have brought a present?" Mutsumi asked Keitaro.
"I don't know why they're all here. To be honest I'd just gotten done with some chores around the inn and picked up my pay from Kanako's sister, I was planning on enjoying the hot-spring when everybody showed up, I spent like twenty minutes getting everybody drinks and seats, and then you showed up as I was about to ask." Keitaro admitted.
"That's obvious Keitaro, you leave your parents place and nobody hears from you for like a month of course everybody's going to worry." Konata pointed out.
"How did you find me anyways?" Keitaro asked. "I don't have a cellphone anymore, and I didn't even know what I was going to do, I was just casting a line in the dark."
"My family has various resources to call upon when necessary." Saori answered somewhat vaguely.
"Yeah my families has some allies that help sometimes nyahaha," Tsuruya laughed somewhat sheepishly rubbing her head.
"I know various people who owe me a favor or two," Koizumi shrugged casually. Keitaro took that to mean he was a person of interest to the Organization and he would not be let go easily.
"Uhm, the Nogizaka family Maids Information division is very good at its job," Mika-chan answered.
"We asked Kanako-chan." Ayase answered with a huff.
"I asked my sister," Kanako gave a grin and shrug.
"I asked Ruri-chan." Manami answered.
"You cannot escape my curse so easily." Kuroneko gloated.
"I followed Kirino," Kanako-chan told her brother.
"I followed Yukari," Ruko told him.
"I asked Nogizaka-san." Yukari-san explained.
"Ditto," Shiina said.
"Great minds think alike huh?" Yukari told her former student.
"I know it's supposed to be a compliment, but somehow I feel a bit insulted." Shiina muttered.
"We followed Nagato-chan." Konata grinned.
"..." Yuki stared at him.
"Yeah stupid question."
"So Onii-san why did you disappear so suddenly?" Ayase asked.
"Yeah well I failed to get in to the second semester at Todai, and unless I agreed to give up on it my parents wouldn't put me up anymore." It was almost as if the entire room stopped breathing for a moment, it probably had too. "So I came here looking for a place to stay since my grandma owns the inn. Except when I got here she wasn't here, and the inn had been turned into a girls dorm. Nobody had done any real yard work or repair here for a while so the sign that said it was a girls dorm was of course overshadowed by a branch, so there was an incident," the whole room winced simultaneously already getting the idea of what happened when the word incident came up,"With the hot-spring," the simul-wince seemed to get worse, "Where I lost my cellphone to a combination of a raging four eyes and bad luck."
"So my grandma left me the inn, and I've been working around the clock to get it back in shape, but with the girls' hair pull triggers, the money doesn't go as far as it would otherwise, not that there's much of it in the first place." Keitaro finished.
"If ya needed a place to stay Keitaro-kun I'd have helped ya out no problems." Tsuruya told him.
"Grandma and Granpa would have been happy to have you stay at our house Kei-chan." Manami told him as well.
"Yes, me too!" Haruka said.
"Yeah, It'd be so much fun to have Onii-san live with us." Mika seconded her sister.
"If you had come to me naturally as a servant of the Tennouji you would have been provided for." Touka offered. Keitaro wasn't sure if the offer was made to oppose Haruka's or genuinely.
"Setting you up with a place of your own would have been no trouble at all Keitaro-kun." Saori said.
"My living habitat posses unused quarters." Yuki stated.
"Myself, Mori-san or Kasai-san could have helped you find a place Kyon-kun." Koizumi told him blatantly hinting that the Organization would have done it to keep Haruhi from freaking out like she likely had which had likely freaked them out.
"I think the point everyone is trying to make is that you're a big dummy Manager." Kanako grinned cheekily.
"Well now that we know you're safe," "Heh-heh" "Let's party!" Konata said enthusiastically.
"What's with that laugh?" Ayase asked bringing her lips into a line.
"You are safe ain't ya Keitaro-kun?" Tsuruya asked a serious look on her face.
"Heh-heh, well that's the thing..." Keitaro answered trying to avoid Tsuruya's eyes or anybody's eyes in general really.
"Nobody gets to abuse my subordinates!" Haruhi cried in outrage. Nobody said anything about abuse Haruhi!
"Hold Onii-san in place Alice-chan." Mika commanded in flat tone, and just like that a pair of arms wrapped around Keitaros waist keeping him bound as if in chains.
"As a policewoman, this is naturally something that I would like to hear about." Yui said ominously, her eyes dilated and glowing like a cat's.
"I would suggest you start talking Keitaro-kun," Hazuki said placing an iron like grip on his shoulder looking him straight in the eyes.
***
"I told Aunt Haruka I wasn't a Todai student and that's when Granny Hina's fax showed up." Keitaro laid the truth out. "She'd signed the Inn over to me so long as I acted as the manager until I graduated Todai. That was the something she mentioned in the letter telling me to visit because she had something for me. She had a letter explaining my apparently imminent arrival. Obviously she wasn't expecting me so soon, and post offices tend to not be near hot springs."
"Of course when we told the girls this they were pissed, but Aunt Haruka pointed out that unless they wanted a rent raise to hire somebody else they'd have to make do with me. Aunt Haruka explained that Granny Hina had told her somebody else would be taking over as Manager so she'd only have to be Manager temporarily so she wouldn't be distracted from running her tea house." Keitaro finished.
"Well now we know why you came here," Haruhi started. Konata nodded sagely stroking her face as if she sported an invisible goatee.
"But why didn't you ask us for help Onii-san?" Mika-chan asked. Keitaro had been right compared to two years ago Mika-chan really had become beautiful in a different way to Haruka, and he knew this because she was using it to get what she wanted from him ruthlessly, yet honestly and earnestly. The last part was a strange experience it had to be said.
"I didn't want to be a bother, and I was coming here anyways so two birds one stone," Keitaro admitted with a blush.
"You should have sought assistance. Aid would have been rendered by us, by me." Nagato said looking a bit uncomfortable to Keitaro.
"Well now we have, the when, the where, the what, and the why. All we're missing is the who." Tsubasa brought up.
"Er," Keitaro didn't want to get the Hinata-sou girls in trouble, but he also didn't want them to continue blaming him for accidents.
He also wished his friends would quit looking at him with those concerned angry eyes.
There was clearly only one choice... he told the truth, and then got the hell out of dodge.
"Well that's it really, and now I'm going to take that bath in the hot springs." Keitaro said pausing briefly at the door. "Alone."
Clack.
"Pft."
"Snerk"
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
With his shirt half off Keitaro felt a shiver run down his spine which he attributed to his partial nudity.
That poor deluded lucky fool.
***
"Kyon, how come I've never met your sisters before?" Keitaro wasn't even going to repeat his name spiel. Keitaro didn't even bother being surprised that he'd been joined in the hot springs when he'd said he'd be bathing alone.
"How many times have you been inside my house Haruhi?" Keitaro asked.
"...How come I've never been inside your house?" Subtle Haruhi.
"It's not like you've been to Mikuru or Koizumi's house either." Keitaro pointed out.
"Well you guys haven't ever invited me over." Haruhi answered. "What's up with not inviting your Brigade Chief into your home?"
"Yeah I don't think Nii-chan really ever invited any friends over." Karen said as she took a seat in the onsen.
"I was hardly home during the day." Keitaro pointed out. "I had basketball, track and field, S.O.S-Dan, Neighbors Club, Vice Class Reprentative Duty, and was General Affairs Manager for the Student Council."
"Even though Nii-chan is the only boy he doesn't get along well with Dad, and Mom was more concerned with us girls." Karen explained.
"So that's why your parents gave you your own apartment." Haruhi mumbled to herself. "You were avoiding them and they were avoiding you?"
***
"Man your parents really went at it Kei-kun." Konata said gesturing to all sisters spread out around the onsen.
"Not really, only enough to have Kamiko." Keitaro responded.
"That's still eight before they got to her." Konato pointed out.
"Yeah and they only had her." Keitaro answered.
"How's that?"
"Well my this is actually my parent's fourth marriage. I'm my father's first child with my mother Keiko, who was my my father's first wife. Karen and Tsukihi are my step sisters from my father's second wife, Tsukiyo-san. Yukari is my stepsister from my father's third marriage to Takami-san. Ruko is Kiyomi-san's step daughter from her marriage to Saito-san. Ako and Riko are from that marriage also. Kirino is her stepdaughter from her second marriage to Takamichi-san. Kobato is her daughter from her third marriage to Hiro-san. And Kamiko is of course from her marriage to my father."
"Why four though?"
"Till death do they part."
***
Just some exposition in that last one.