LiCl- "Of monkey and Monsters"

Cosgrove

Well-Known Member
#1
Welcome, folks, to the first Lithium Chloride Fic of 2011!

Here's your picture, and as the time is now 1200 hours CST, you have until 2359 CST to get your writing in. Take this image, and make it something new and different. Good luck!






Some notes about LiCl-Fic:

Original fiction only.
Quote the prompt above your work, since it will not be posted in General Rants.
Well, first writing I've done in a while and not completely satisfied with it, but it'll do.


"Of Monkeys and Monsters"

or "How I learned to wise up and hate the Chimp"

Because, seriously? Monkeys can go fuck themselves. Hard. The little bastards.

----------

Kasarro held his breath as he moved to extinguish his lantern. Quietly, he heard that infernal monkey follow him. Damned thing was what caused this mess, after all. Stilling his breath, he heard the thing slither away. For now.

Still, facing a demon wasnÆt quite what heÆd expected from a simple pet retrieval task. It had been simple, find the monkey, catch it, and then get it back to its owner. And, honestly, he should have known better. Things never seem to be as easy as they seemà for him, at least.

HeÆd found the monkey, and chased after it deep into the reaches of this forest until the fog rolled in. The monkey had run to him, frightened, and heÆs tried to retrace his path back towards to town, only he couldnÆt find it. No, it was more like something had created identical marking on every nearby tree, having foreseen his plan.

Lost and having decided on just trying to find a way out, heÆd set off in the opposite way heÆd found the monkey. And, for a while, it looked like he mightÆve found the way towards the exit. Even through the fog, he started to smell the aroma of flowers that couldnÆt grow in the thick woods. And then, he saw the girl.

She was a pale thing, covered in flowing white robes. He couldnÆt see her eyes, but he could see an enchanting smile that seemed to draw him in. Before he knew it, he was standing before her, the aroma of flowers wrapping around him. He leaned in towards her, a girlish giggle escaping her lips as a searing pain shot through his hand.

Quickly looking down, he noticed several things at once. The first was that the monkey was biting his fucking hand. The second was that all off the flowers and their aromas were gone, leaving behind grounds covered in bones that stunk of decay. The third was that the cute girl was no longer a cute girl. It was a large humanoid creature with eyestalks instead of eyes, and where its legs should have ended was a large snakelike tail, that ending in a large, snakelike head with four eyes and many, many pointy teeth. And finally, he really should have known better.

So, grabbing his lantern, he did what he did best when he encountered danger. He ran. Sneaking behind a large tree stump, he listened for signs of movements before extinguishing the lantern, leaving him in his current predicament. He could hear it moving around, looking for him. But it seemed he was in the clear.

Which is exactly why he immediately dropped to the ground, to hear a hiss a disappointment and movement away. This wasnÆt the first demon heÆd encountered, far from it, and he knew exactly how they thought. Judging by its appearance and abilities, it was simply a more experienced demon, nothing he couldnÆt face.

ôCome out young one, we wissssssh to sssspeak with you.ö

And it was talking great. It wasnÆt simply æa more experienced demonÆ it was a full fledged sentient elder demon. Which meant he had to recall what his mentor told him long ago to do if he encountered one. Which was to run. Far away. As fast as he could. Which, to be honest, was what the man spoke of most demons anyway.

Still, he gave a quick glance around before he thought up a plan. Quickly lighting his lantern, he threw it at the nearest tree he could find. Instantly, the tree caught no fire, its decayed, dead wood easily igniting. With the source of light and distraction, he quickly pulled out his sword and cleaved through the monsterÆs tail, cleanly separating the snake head and the upper humanoid torso.

Not finished, he quickly made short work of the snake head, just because it wasnÆt attached anymore didnÆt make it any less of a threat, before facing the writhing form of the demon.

ôYou dare sssstrike at me, who hassss lived in thesssse woodssss for ccccenturies?!ö

It faced towards him, confused, anxious, and above all else angry. He had wounded it, not only physically, but also its pride. Only one of them would be walking away from this encounter now.

Readying his sword, he ducked underneath its first swing before he drove his blade through its torso, right where her heart should be. Until he realized the blade was sinking into its flesh faster than it should have, considering that it was a blow the monstrosity should have been trying to avoid.

As he tried to release the blade, he realized it was too late, as its arms wrapped his torso and he felt its teeth into his flesh. As its venoms worked their way through his body, he saw it grin in triumph.

ôDid you not think that I didnÆt know who you were? I am ancccient and wissse, I knew the æDemon SlayerÆ was in the area. Everything isss exactly asss I have planned it! This damage isss nothing that a few monthsss will not fix! I have won where my ssssiblingsss have not!ö

ôàYeah, I know who you are now. How could I not have heard of the immortal serpent demon, Lellinoriel?ö

The demonÆs grin quickly vanished as Kasarro quickly pulled out a small bottle.

ôNO! That- the only man who ssshould be able to create that ssshould have been killed long ago! I made sssure of it!ö

As he opened the bottle, he felt the magics that were let loose begin their work, wrapping around himself and Lellinoriel. He let loose a cocky grin as a sigal covered the ground around them and began to glow with an unearthly light.

The last thing he heard was a screech of agony, and then everything faded to white.

---------

He awoke to a young woman sitting atop of him, clothed in a flowing write robe, her skin pale white. Weakly cracking a grin, he stared up at her. Slitted yellow eyes stared malevolently down at him from an attractive face as she wrapped two lithe hands around his neck tightly before recoiling them as if burned.

ôWhat did you do to me?! Why aren't I dead?!ö

Slightly pushing her off of him, he rose and stretched. The poison had mostly worked its way out of his system and though slightly weaker for the moment, he was not too impaired. Ignoring the girl for the moment, he began gathering up his supplies as he looked around. They were at the edge of the forest.

ôHmm, this isnÆt where we were last.ö

ôDonÆt ignore my quessstion!ö

He turned to her, an eyebrow raised. ôI never said I wasnÆt going to answer you, I just felt it was more important that there was a change in scenery.ö

Her face darkened as she contemplated the answer.

ôWhatever you did made me unable to leave you to die there! Now, what did you do, and I demand you undo it!ö

He moved to pat her head before quickly withdrawing it before she bit into it.

ôA biter, huh? Well, I suppose I could tell you as we should have plenty of time to explain- WhereÆs my gold pouch?ö

Searching around, he looked around for any sign of it but to no avail.

ôOOK! OOK! OOK!ö

Looking upward, he noticed the damnedable little ape holding a familiar bag before bounding away into the fields ahead. Without a thought, he quickly gathered his gear before chasing after the ape, leaving the former? demon staring in shock before heading after him, full throttle.

ôWait I demand my ansss-ô

ôI HATE THAT MONKEY!ö

FIN?
 

Halibel Lecter

Well-Known Member
#2
Readability: 19/20. There were a few small errors but otherwise nothing that would keep me from understanding. Dialogue could sue some work.

Style: 20/20. I liked this style, it was more casual and focused more on the emotions and motives. This shows a good understanding of how to draw inspiration from the pic.

Flow: 18/20. The flow was basically good, though the transitions could have been better. Otherwise it was handled well, and the pacing was good, very even.

Research: 17/20. While there were some details about life around the area, they weren't used very effectively, and this took away from their influence on the story.

Opinion: 20/20. I like the way you ended this, giving it a nice twist. Well done.

Total: 94% of possible.
 
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