Lost Ruina [Heavy Object-inspired Nanoha]

[Azure]

Hey, this is that Heavy Object-inspired thing I talked about in the Idea thread. Well it's either this or "My Teacher is a walking tactical nuke" and I think this one might be a winner so I am making this thread to talk about the concept a bit and get some suggestions to make it work better.

Basic Idea
A Yuuno and Chrono buddy cup series with them solving cases for the TSAB as part of a special investigation unit that focuses on Ruins and Archeology-related cases.  Since it’s inspired by Heavy Object,  all adventures starts with simple jobs that evolve into huge crisis that our duo have to solve while bantering and insulting each other. Even though the two have very antagonistic relationship with each other, their teamwork is top notch, making them one of the best duos when investigating ruins in the TSAB space.

While they enjoy helping people, their goal is to retire so they can go and focus on their life goals, but sadly central command has deemed them too useful to allow them to retire, and thus they get dragged from one crazy mission to the next.

Lost Ruin Special Investigation Unit [needs a better name]
Sponsored by the Cardinal appointed to the TSAB’s Board of Directors by the Belkan Church, this is a special unit designed to deal with the rising number of cases of illegal excavations of ruins both in the TSAB space and in the areas outside that belong to the Belkan Church (former destroyed holdings that were once part of the empire). Since the unit was created with heavy cooperation with the Church, most of the equipment and soldiers were provided by the church (much to the dismay of a certain Enfocer) while the TSAB provided technical assistance, supervision and key personnel like Admiral Harlaown.  Thus is seen as a sigh of the growing formal cooperation between the Church and the TSAB in military matters.

The unit is centered around two members, the enforcer Chrono Harlaown and the archeologist (contract mage) Yuuno Scrya.  Yuuno handles the investigation at the digs with his archeological know-how, while Chrono handles the investigation and apprehension of criminals. What makes this unit special is that they are specialized in solving crimes that happen inside ruins, as well as handling the standard crimes that involve Lost Logia, such as smuggling and illegal activation.

This unit would investigate not only sanctioned digs, but also bust clandestine sites and even excavate Lost Logias themselves if needed, which gives the unit more autonomy than most TSAB units. Originally the scope of unit operations was just restricted to investigating contraband cases regarding ancient ruins and Lost Logias, but seeing how effective they were, both the Church and the TSAB started pushing for them to get involved in more and more strange missions until they became a default special force unit that is called the predecessor of the infamous Riot Force 6. 

Basic Plans
·         Introduce a hunt for the Jewels Seeds arc where each seed is in a different planet and they have to constantly fight Fate?  Fate is the ongoing antagonist for the first few arcs and ties different things together to lead to the hunt of each individual Jewel Seed in several worlds.
·         So far I have in mind three adventures for the first arc which will be focused on the Jewel Seeds as the unifying plot, the first one being the case were Chrono and Yuuno first cross paths. The second one being basically the first mission of the Unit, and the third the one were things goes wrong and Nanoha is introduced as a character.
·         Introduce Nanoha during the third adventure during the first arc with something similar to canon, like Yuuno crashing on Earth after a mission gone wrong and then joining the Lost Ruin Force.
·         Introduce the Wolks in the second big arc as enemy ruin explorers while they go around completing the book?
·         Find a way to work in the Gears of Destiny plot and the Materials? If I get so far.

Goals
·         Use Heavy Object’s three act structure as the basis for each adventure.
·         Focus more on side-characters to give them a chance to shine.
·         Have a humorous buddy-cop vibe that is actually funny.
·         A good Yuuno/Chrono Bromance
·         Not base the story on Earth and just play around the TSAB space
·         Bring cameos from stuff in Vivid/Strikers and maybe Force.

Stuff to work on?
·         Work on jokes and appropriate banter between our two leads, sadly the jokes about girls won’t work with Yuuno unless we age him up a bit.
·         Think of appropriate adventures for them to have in ancient ruins, and how they will blow up into big world-shaking crisis.
·         Expand on Yuuno and Chrono’s backgrounds a bit.
·         Expand on how the TSAB works so I can use it for different and fun stuff
·         Make minor OC antagonists to have more room to do stuff.


I will come back to add give my outline for the first tentative arc when I finish it, but I think this is enough to start for now.

 

[vic-vic]

Looks promising, but it seems weird that TSAB created a just 2-man unit to counter the increased illegal activity. Maybe Yuuno and Chrono simply "the luckiest" squad?

 

[Azure]

That's because while they are working with a regular unit, Chrono and Yuuno are expected to do the bulk of the investigation since they have the special skills to do so (Yuuno more than anything), plus they are the stars so they are the 'luckiest' in that sense. Still when things get tough the rest of the unit will join the adventure and help out.

Here is the original pitch, if it helps.

I like this, so here is my take on it while keeping it just in the Nanoha franchise: working title - Heavy Ruina.

Lately there has been a rise in the rate of contraband of ancient artifacts all over the TSAB space, the problem is that it's not that someone is stealing them mid transit to a secure location (the TSAB for dangerous Lost Logias or some lab for the ones that can be researched), but rather they are being smuggled out of the ruins that are being excavated without the TSAB noticing. Normally the TSAB is generally supervising all archaeological digs in its jurisdiction, but being as shot staffed as it is, it can't be there all the time (and it might be possible some might have special permits that allow them to dig without supervision) which makes the smuggling problem a bit hard to really deal with. Still the TSAB can allow this to happen to a certain extent, since so far nothing too dangerous has been taken out and it has more severe problems to deal with.

On the other hand, the Belkan Church has been noticing several digs being done in areas where the TSAB has little presence or are outside the TSAB's jurisdiction (the Church would be there doing missionary work in a remote region). These clandestine digs are probably being sponsored by shady corporations that want to recover old tech for research since illegal is always faster. The Church fears that this might lead to a disaster and what's worries them is that the corporations only care about extracting the usable tech, and don't care about destroying the priceless ancient ruins that house this stuff.

The problem with these crimes is that it is not just a matter of catching them in the act of transporting the contraband or searching through files at the dig to find incongruities, they also need someone to research the ruin themselves, and check the sites to find evidence that something that was not reported existed, and even more they might have to dig themselves to make sure there are no dangerous artifacts to make sure the site is safe if something was taken. It takes a very special set of skills to do this, specially since whoever handles this crime will surely need good combat skills to handle enemy mages. So sadly, the TSAB doesn't have a lot people to spare with that rare skill set.

Here is where Carim enters, she recently got a high position in the Church and is acting as the representative in the Board of Directors in the TSAB, so she proposes that the two organizations work together to deal with this problem before it grows out of hand and something horrible happens. She proposes they form a special Lost Ruin task force to specifically deal with these crimes, staffed by people from both organizations. This group would have to not only investigate official digs that are suspected of contraband, but also bust clandestine sites, and even excavate digs that the two organizations might have something too dangerous that needs to be contained fast in many worlds- and for that reason it would need to be fairly more autonomous than the usual group (basically Proto-Riot Force 6)

First, she proposes contracting a civilian expect from outside as a contract mage to handle the more technical aspects of the digs, cue Yuuno. Then she proposes that they need an expert Enforcer to handle the investigations of the crimes and the apprehension of the criminals, cue Chrono (plus since he is young he will get along with Yuuno right?). Finally, since the TSAB is so understaffed, the Church will provide a ship and Church Knights if the TSAB provides the rest of the crew. Overall the plan is accepted after some adjustments, and so the Lost Ruins Investigation Taskforce is born. Carim not only hopes for this experimental group to deal with this growing problem, she also hopes that this will help the Church and the TSAB to start working more closely together in the future, and if it keeps Chrono close to her then it's a nice bonus.

And thus Chrono and Yuuno suddenly find themselves forced to work together as partners, in a ship filled with battle nuns that give Chrono the weird eye all the time and have to deal with all sorts of crazy super weapons that people find in ruins alongside the crazy mages and corporations that want these things. In other words, every day is a crazy day for our two heroes.

That's the basic idea, think the plot as half a police drama, and the other half Indiana Jones, with a good dose of aerial dog fights, beam spam, and befriending. Nanoha would join them similar to canon, right after our two heroes screw up and land on Earth and have to rely on her to seal the latest thing. Fate would be their rival, an enemy mage that constantly fights them to steal the latest Lost Logia.

 

[Filraen]

A random bit I thought when reading your post: Yuuno + Chrono vs Season 1 Fate (because Jewel Seeds)? I can't really see Fate "winning" to have multiple encounters. Sure Fate is more powerful (little supersoldier she is) but is an emotional wreck and Chrono is way more skillful than her.

(... and Arf, I forgot Arf)

Anyway, how do you plan to address that issue?

 

[Azure]

A random bit I thought when reading your post: Yuuno + Chrono vs Season 1 Fate (because Jewel Seeds)? I can't really see Fate "winning" to have multiple encounters. Sure Fate is more powerful (little supersoldier she is) but is an emotional wreck and Chrono is way more skillful than her.

(... and Arf, I forgot Arf)

Anyway, how do you plan to address that issue?

Good question, yeah in a straight fight most of the time Chrono will beat Fate due to how more experienced the Enforcer is over the girl. But that's why Fate will always try to avoid a direct face-off with our duo, and will just focus on getting the Jewel Seeds. The idea of each adventure is revolves around investigating a ruin that might be connected to one of the Jewel Seeds, which leads to multiple interested parties showing up (be them space pirates, mercs, or ancient security systems) or some ancient artifact activating. The point is that by the end thing will probably go crazy which gives Fates a chance to try to avoid a direct conformation and sneak off with the prize while Yuuno and Co are focused on more pressing matters. Not that it will always work, and if it came to a direct confrontation, Fate would probably focus on trying to 2v1 each one with Arf, after all why fight fair? Even then, things will probably end up backfiring and she will land on that dreaded 1v1 against, Chrono, and that's where she would have to pull out all the stops to pull a lucky win or get shot down.

In short, since the idea is to focus the story on collecting treasures, there will be room for our heroes and villains to move the plot without having to straight up fight, specially since each adventure there will be third parties involved to make things more complicated.

Story Structure
The idea is that each adventure will be a 3 act story structured around our favorite duo investigating a specific run for something simple that somehow evolves into a great crisis. So every time, Yuuno and Chrono will be dealing with the troubles the artifacts in these ruins bring, and the people that also want to abuse and contraband these priceless relics. It starts simple like, for example, they investigate some strange readings in this random ruin, only for them to find that some weird group was excavating bombs, and now they have to run to stop the terrorists from bombing the capital for some reason.

To tie these episodic adventures into a bigger arc, the idea is that most of the ruins our Lost Ruins unit is checking out would be connected one way or another to the Jewels Seeds (which each would be stored in a different place) and that's where Fate and Arf would come in. It could be something like the bomb in our example was actually using a Jewel Seed as a power source, or the ruins they investigated also had one of the seeds there. But the idea is to make the meta plot to be basically a Treasure Hunt for the Jewel Seeds, with each stop being the investigation of a ruin that ends up uncovering some horrible thing that would have been best forgotten.

Basically we will always have a villain to be introduced in each adventure to help spice things up.

 

[lhklan]

I would prefer them to be Striker era to be honest. Not only would the reason for the squad having only 2 people make sense - they're both heavily experienced and among the elites of the TSAB even if people acknowledges the Aces and their friends more, the joke about girls could be Chrono ribbing Yuuno about still being a virgin/how a Virgin like the blond can rack up so many harem flags yet being so goddamn dense, it also gave the writers a much greater environment to play with. They can even meet other people early, like Yuuno running into Sieglinde or Chrono investigating an incident related to Hades company

 

[Azure]

I would prefer them to be Striker era to be honest. Not only would the reason for the squad having only 2 people make sense - they're both heavily experienced and among the elites of the TSAB even if people acknowledges the Aces and their friends more, the joke about girls could be Chrono ribbing Yuuno about still being a virgin/how a Virgin like the blond can rack up so many harem flags yet being so goddamn dense, it also gave the writers a much greater environment to play with. They can even meet other people early, like Yuuno running into Sieglinde or Chrono investigating an incident related to Hades company

Good points, but to me the problem with Strikers era is that it already has Chrono and Yuuno basically having two big desk jobs that really limit having them just go on adventures on a daily basis, specially since Chrono is a family man and would probably use his free time with his family. Plus part of the idea is that they keep going back because these missions are the best way they have to accomplish their goals in life, so having them already be successful kinda takes away some of that underdog charm they would need to be more in line with Heavy Object.

Still, you are right that them being a bit older would probably work better for more harem-like jokes at Yuuno's expense, which is why I am debating just making Yuuno and co a bit older if needed, but keep things in the early part of the timeline. Also it's not that Yuuno and Chrono are the only members of the unit, it's just that they are expected to be carrying out the bulk of the investigations which is what gives them that protagonism.

Also finishing my rough outline of the first adventure/arc I want to do, covering how Yuuno and Chrono would first meet in this sort of setting, so I will post it later when I can.

 

[lhklan]

I would prefer them to be Striker era to be honest. Not only would the reason for the squad having only 2 people make sense - they're both heavily experienced and among the elites of the TSAB even if people acknowledges the Aces and their friends more, the joke about girls could be Chrono ribbing Yuuno about still being a virgin/how a Virgin like the blond can rack up so many harem flags yet being so goddamn dense, it also gave the writers a much greater environment to play with. They can even meet other people early, like Yuuno running into Sieglinde or Chrono investigating an incident related to Hades company

Good points, but to me the problem with Strikers era is that it already has Chrono and Yuuno basically having two big desk jobs that really limit having them just go on adventures on a daily basis, specially since Chrono is a family man and would probably use his free time with his family. Plus part of the idea is that they keep going back because these missions are the best way they have to accomplish their goals in life, so having them already be successful kinda takes away some of that underdog charm they would need to be more in line with Heavy Object.

Still, you are right that them being a bit older would probably work better for more harem-like jokes at Yuuno's expense, which is why I am debating just making  Yuuno and co a bit older if needed, but keep things in the early part of the timeline. Also it's not that Yuuno and Chrono are the only members of the unit, it's just that they are expected to be carrying out the bulk of the investigations which is what gives them that protagonism.

Also finishing my rough outline of the first adventure/arc I want to do, covering how Yuuno and Chrono would first meet in this sort of setting, so I will post it later when I can.

How about sometimes post A bit before Striker? Hell you could add a reason on why the two of them were chosen: Some of the higher ups in the IL at the time dislike how fast Yuuno was rising, same for Chrono it with the TSAB. Also Carim proposed Chrono as member because she "trusts" him a lot and she also tell herself that it's not because she did not like how Amy making advance on him. With Chrono joining the task force it would reduce the time he spent with Amy - Carim made Damon sure of that - thus no shotgun wedding and no family other than his mother. This also segues nicely into making Carim Heivia's Yandere fiancée counterpart

 

[Azure]

How about sometimes post A bit before Striker? Hell you could add a reason on why the two of them were chosen: Some of the higher ups in the IL at the time dislike how fast Yuuno was rising, same for Chrono it with the TSAB. Also Carim proposed Chrono as member because she "trusts" him a lot and she also tell herself that it's not because she did not like how Amy making advance on him. With Chrono joining the task force it would reduce the time he spent with Amy - Carim made Damon sure of that - thus no shotgun wedding and no family other than his mother. This also segues nicely into making Carim Heivia's Yandere fiancée counterpart

Like I said, to me a part of the problem with setting it after As/near Strikers, is that it gets harder to justify why Chrono and Yuuno are the ones who are doing these things and are not dragging their friends along, or at least Fate as Chrono's aide as part of her training and the Cloud Knights as you know Belkans who might know about these things. Plus that limits being able to use Fate and the Wolks as antagonists and forces me to really focus on the OC antagonists or bring someone from a later series like Jail earlier. I still think your idea works, but a part of me feels that it moves away from the Heavy Object feel that I want to capture here.

Also yes, the whole point of Carim picking Chrono for this is to get him away from Amy, you know to secure her husbando.

 

[lhklan]

Back for a bit so I'll try to give this a go, as a way to get back in the groove as it were

**********
Prologue:

In the end, people do not change much.

Even in an age where science could cure some of the worse sickness known to man, even in an age where magic is no longer a miracle but a commodity, even in an age where both coexist in harmony, it seemed nothing had been done to fill the gaps inside people’s hearts. Some would say that in time their heart would be full but looking at the universe, at the people, it would seems to prove the opposite: the basic mechanism that brought people to seek more could not be removed from their mentality.

It could be healthy desire, like wanting to spend more time with their loved ones, or wanting to earn more to support their family.

But, as they say: "The road to hell is paved with good intentions".

Desire could be twisted and warped, to the point that it become dangerous not just to the wisher but to the one they care about: searching for immortality no matter the cost for the former and trampling on others just to gain more money for the latter

Add in the fact that there are ancient civilisations that surpass the modern day in ways one could only imagine - Al Hazard come to mind - well...

It is any wonder than ancient artifacts are one of most sought after luxury in the universe?

**********

A set up for the formation of the Unit.

 

[vic-vic]

Nice start I admit. it really feels like the prologue from HO.