Miscellanious Nanoha Ideas

[Van Silverlight]

You can tell the person that whether or not Nanoha and Fate's relationship is canon is irrelevant since there's nothing stopping fanfic writers and doujin artists to ship them together.

I'd tell him myself, but I don't know where the comment came from.

True. This guys did start it first by response to my review on a non-Nanofate fanfic. More importantly, it is a Yuunoha and chroonofate fanfic with AU and other things. He did state this though:

[font=Verdana, Verdana, Arial]I know that I have nothing to do with this Fanfic, however I just wanted to point out that NanoFate is canon...[/font]

 

[Rising Dragon]

Someone like that, yeah, there's absolutely no point in reasoning with him. He won't listen.

 

[Van Silverlight]

Welp, let's stop the hate here and return to randomly throwing ideas.

If you guys were to write stories focusing on Yuuno, will you create his character based on the original series or create a new one similarly/ closely related to the original or create a new and original personality like psycho and stuff: Terumi or HAzama from blazblue for example and why do you do that?

#justadiscussion

 

[Azure]

I think that the best thing would be to extrapolate on his character from the original series, I mean people would love to read about a nerdy archeologist having adventures in ancient magical ruins right? You just have to find places to insert his character and if you feel that he alone can't carry a narrative, then pair him with a foil to make things more interesting or bring another aspect of the character. Like example have Chrono join him, and then have the two banter a lot to make things more comedic.

I think that giving characters completely original personalities is something hard to do, since you have to be careful in justifying it to make sure to avoid breaking the reader's SoD.

 

[Leidolf]

Amen. If you're going to completely rewrite their character, you'd literally have to cover every inch to showcase how he ended up like that from his canon self just to make it plausible.

 

[Van Silverlight]

Make sense, I'll try the best I could to do that.

 

[Van Silverlight]

This is the intro for my fanfic. Please give your opinion on it in any things you want. Suggestions is appreciated...

Have you ever heard of someone telling you that you don’t know what you have until it’s gone?
You did, haven’t you?
It doesn’t matter whether you lead an easy life or hard life, you still gonna heard it anyways. The only difference is on one side, you will mostly probably had somebody telling you while on another side, you might told that to someone. Technically speaking, you still heard it yourself even it from your own mouth, right?
Anyway, let’s get back to the topic…
Why am I talking about this?
To prevent others from repeating my mistake. Not just mine actually, other people I knew too. So that…so that others won’t have to
suffered the same hell we gone through.

Which is why I’m going to tell you a story. Well, more like stories. Stories about the lives of mages I knew.
Stories about The Chronicle Of Mages…

 

[Azure]

What is the fic about, if you tell us a bit more about it then we might have some idea on what to judge your intro on. Who is the character talking and stuff like that. Overall on a technical point, I think it needs some clean up, to check on the grammar (tenses specially) and make some phrases more clearer. Like this one.

The only difference is on one side, you will mostly probably had somebody telling you while on another side, you might told that to someone. Technically speaking, you still heard it yourself even it from your own mouth, right?

The first part probably could be reworded to flow better. Like [The only difference is just of role. On one end you might be the one hearing that from someone, but on the other you might be the one telling it to another person. Technically speaking, hearing it from your own mouth still counts, you know.] I guess something like that to make it flow a bit better, not sure if it helps. Still I thought that in that second sentence you wanted to say something [You even might have told you that yourself one day] to add a third option. I also would change probably add something to the second sentence like [Eh don't look at me like that, technically speaking, you...] to give the narrator some more personality.

The other thing that bothers me the ending line, [Stories about Chronicle of Mages]. I think that having both Stories and Chronicles is a bit redundant and just feel too much. I probably would change it to something like [Which is why I'm going to tell you a story, well more like stories. A chronicle about the lives of the many mages I knew. A Chronicle of Mages] I think that makes your title drop flow better.

Anyhow, all of these are suggestions, I am not a good writer so check with others too.

 

[Van Silverlight]

What is the fic about, if you tell us a bit more about it then we might have some idea on what to judge your intro on. Who is the character talking, Overall on a technical point, I think it needs some clean up, to check on the grammar (tenses specially) and make some phrases more clearer. Like this one.



The first part probably could be reworded to flow better. Like [The only difference is just of role. On one end you might be the one hearing that from someone, but on the other you might be the one telling it to another person. Technically speaking, hearing it from your own mouth still counts, you know.] I guess something like that to make it flow a bit better, not sure if it helps. Still I thought that in that second sentence you wanted to say something [You even might have told you that yourself one day] to add a third option. I also would change probably add something to the second sentence like [Eh don't look at me like that, technically speaking, you...] to give the narrator some more personality.  

The other thing that bothers me the ending line, [Stories about Chronicle of Mages]. I think that having both Stories and Chronicles is a bit redundant and just feel too much. I probably would change it to something like [Which is why I'm going to tell you a story, well more like stories. A chronicle about the lives of the many mages I knew. A Chronicle of Mages]  I think that makes your title drop flow better.

Anyhow, all of these are suggestions, I am not a good writer so check with others too.

No,no, your suggestion really help. I guess the wording in those really does sound redundant and weird...i guess?

ah, tenses. My greatest enemy in language subject. my earlier post may seems weird because i just copy paste directly from microsoft word. Never thought it wouldn't followed the same format though.

Anyway, the narrator is Yuuno talking about the good things people have that some of them don't appreciate it unless they lost it. (I intending to use Nanoha for this) and it not just from yuuno's experience, i will also take from fate's,chrono's, precia's, other characters from the series and also my OCs.

    I'm  using Yuuno as narrator here to avoid making it seem about OC story ( cuz i'm going to use him a lot in the future) and also becuz he is the character that i can utilize the most. Fate is out becuz we already know her full backstory and its hard for me to twist her backstory ( her at least). Chrono is out too becuz his backstory didn't really appeal suitable to me, not to mention he got happy ending. Nanoha is out cuz she never lose anything that cannot be substitute in the future. I also use Yuuno becuz he is an 2nd/3rd important character in the 1st season and 1st important cast for his involvement in opening the chance for nanoha to become mahou shoujo. So, make sense to me. :sisi:

 Although, i should tell that the message in the beginning will not become the centre, rather it will become the major element of my story. I intended to see the centre of this fanfic through the process of writing it.

Oh yeah i forgot...this story will not include nanofate pairing(officially not) and yuunoha ( at least not for now and later in the future)...so sorry shippers  :snigger:

 

[Azure]

So basically it's a story about Yuuno chronicling the lives of different mages and how they lost things in their duties? I think that works as a story, but I guess I would to see more to see how it would work. A story about overcoming loss to rise above the despair is nice you know.

About the protagonist, I could see Yuuno doing this if he was writting a book and is researching the lives of mages as a historian. But thematically I think that Chrono would work for the theme, since his big moment in S1 was basically talking about how you shouldn't allow loses to just ruin your life while confronting Precia. But still, if you are looking to do the digging for historical context, then Yuuno works more here.


Also about the pairing, that's good. I have always been a ChronoxYuuno shipper!

 

[Van Silverlight]

So basically it's a story about Yuuno chronicling the lives of different mages and how they lost things in their duties? I think that works as a story, but I guess I would to see more to see how it would work. A story about overcoming loss to rise above the despair is nice you know.

About the protagonist, I could see Yuuno doing this if he was writting a book and is researching the lives of mages as a historian. But thematically I think that Chrono would work for the theme, since his big moment in S1 was basically talking about how you shouldn't allow loses to just ruin your life while confronting Precia. But still, if you are looking to do the digging for historical context, then Yuuno works more here.


Also about the pairing, that's good. I have always been a ChronoxYuuno shipper!

Well, not only Yuuno actually. I only going to use him as narrator for the beginning. After going through some chapter, I might change the individual.

Heck no lol  , i wouldn't do that pairing. Although, i will make their relationship a bit different from what we usually read about them. Sure, chrono still teases yuuno but a lot less now. They also might become closer ( that really sound gay, isn't?) and Yuuno also become closer to Harlown family especially with yuuno kids.

 

[Azure]

So Yuuno is the narrator, but the story will focus on different characters depending on the arc. Well that's okay, but like I said before, I probably will have to see how it ends up working to say if it's good.

 

[Van Silverlight]

So Yuuno is the narrator, but the story will focus on different characters depending on the arc. Well that's okay, but like I said before, I probably will have to see how it ends up working to say if it's good.

Excuse me, can you give me some advice on how to do the next chapter?

Becuz.... i going to write the story using season 1 as bases. I was thinking whether to introduce the main cast that was already  in the original series that everyone should be recognize by now. Of course, i'm not going to write a completely 100% same story. So, i'm very confused now, whether to continue with the story or should i introduce the main cast too? (OC not included)

 

[Azure]

Are you asking if you should start from the events of S1 with the main cast or start the story by introducing the OCs? Well if the OCs are the ones that will bring the nail that will change thing, then you probably should start by introducing them as they meet the main cast. Still people probably won't be interested on OC's alone, so the best way to sell it might be to focus on introducing the main cast in the middle of S1 and then bring in your original characters and start the story you want to tell.

Still, this really depends on the plot you want to tell and the new characters you will bring.

 

[Van Silverlight]

I'm going to start with the events in S1 with the main cast as the focus of the story. The OCs will be important side character but not the focus yet for S1, only in the future they will be the focus of the story. That is why I'm confused, whether to introduce the main cast ( the ones from original series) or not.

 

[Azure]

I think that at this point everybody knows how S1 went, so unless you will introduce some change at the start that will be important later on, maybe just starting when things start to deviate from canon might be the wisest way to do it, specially since it allows you to avoid wasting words on things that people know. I guess I really can't say more without really knowing what you plan to do.