My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Idea Megathread

[scriviner]

This has popped into my head on and off:

No, no, listen. Don't listen to me, listen. You can find your people if you are brave. They passed down all the roads long ago, and the Red Bull ran close behind them and covered their footprints. The Bull chased them into the sea and though they seek to win their freedom they have been there long. Long enough that even immortal things can feels weariness and the weight of time. They sleep beneath the waves. They sleep and dream. Not all. Enough run with the surf. Run with the tide seeking to win past the Red Bull, but they can not succeed. So for now the Unicorns dream of a world where they may run free. Dreams with wings. Or where they are not Unicorns at all nor bound by King Haggard's will.

They dream of lives with outlandish names like Pinkie Pie or Twilight Sparkle or Applejack. Strange dreams that they have lived in so long that they have forgotten they are dreams.

Now here you come, the questing hero, seeking to bring them back to the world again. Will you truly tear them from the dream and bring them sorrow where they knew it not?

 

[Souffle]

Pinkie Pie gets pregnant after a huge party goes down at Canterlot. Alas, she has no idea who the father is.

So naturally her friends decide to find the bum who knocked her up and beat the hay out of him if he doesn't make an honest mare out of her.

The plot twist is that it was Pinkie Pie

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

OH SHI-!

 

[scriviner]

Pinkie Pie gets pregnant after a huge party goes down at Canterlot. Alas, she has no idea who the father is.

So naturally her friends decide to find the bum who knocked her up and beat the hay out of him if he doesn't make an honest mare out of her.

The plot twist is that it was Pinkie Pie

... I'd read this.

 

[whitewhiskey]

Pinkie Pie gets pregnant after a huge party goes down at Canterlot. Alas, she has no idea who the father is.

So naturally her friends decide to find the bum who knocked her up and beat the hay out of him if he doesn't make an honest mare out of her.

The plot twist is that it was Pinkie Pie

This presents a problem, because if Pinkie is able to reproduce with herself, it would probably create Pinkie. Aside from the whole "Divide by Zero" problem, it would be the mirror pond all over again, except you'd have to actually kill these ones, which nopony would probably be willing to do.

 

[autobot314]

I got an idea based on this image:

 

[whitewhiskey]

Hey, how about this...

Spike is a long lost Koopaling?

 

[Lord of Bones]

her plan for the Gala, although poorly executed and a bad venue, is actually a somewhat solid plan, although giving such large portions may have been much, giving samples to big decision makers and those who probably own businesses that serve food or know those who do could help build connections for a better sale and business (And I'm not sure she was giving it away, didn't Soarin' pay for his pie?).

Applejack's plan was to sell off her food in a place with free catering. It's why she's thinking about getting money in the song.

Applejack doesn't strike me as a pony with much business sense. Rarity single-handedly runs a clothing business, but given that we have Applejack's disdain for "fancy mathematics" and her questionable business decisions...

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

her plan for the Gala, although poorly executed and a bad venue, is actually a somewhat solid plan, although giving such large portions may have been much, giving samples to big decision makers and those who probably own businesses that serve food or know those who do could help build connections for a better sale and business (And I'm not sure she was giving it away, didn't Soarin' pay for his pie?).

Applejack's plan was to sell off her food in a place with free catering. It's why she's thinking about getting money in the song.

Applejack doesn't strike me as a pony with much business sense. Rarity single-handedly runs a clothing business, but given that we have Applejack's disdain for "fancy mathematics" and her questionable business decisions...

Yes, yes, but we love her anyway. She does need a bit of... *sunglasses* Horse sense though.

 

[scriviner]

And that right there's a plot thing. Have Granny Apple and Big Mac be out of the picture. Maybe visiting relations or sick with something and putting poor AJ on the spot for having to make business decisions for the farm at a critical time. Maybe the tax mare's a comin' or payments on some loans need to get done or negotiating for some critical bit of apple sellin' that goes beyond the maintaining a cider stand/apple stand in the marker level.

And AJ's the only one available to deal with it. So logically, once she realized she was flubbin' it, she'd probably need to get some help. Cue Rarity offering to assist in figuring out the numbers and realizing that AJ's constant panic over the shape the farm's in has been completely unfounded all this time.

In fact, the farm could possibly be making money hoof over... some fist analogue... and ONLY AJ in the family did not realize this.

 

[Lord of Bones]

Twilight stared at the numbers in the ledgers, unmoving. She'd been that way for the past five minutes, and the already panicked Applejack was close to hyperventilating.

"Ah knew it the farm's broke what am ah gonna tell Big Mac oh Celestia what about Apple Bloom..."

Twilight, on the other hand, was struggling to find a way to explain to her friend that as far as she could tell, what was written in the ledgers could have been Old Neighponese, for all she understood the numbers. A plaintive whine emerged from her throat, drawing Spike's attention from the ruby sandwich he'd been eating.

The growing dragon curiously nabbed the book from under Twilight's muzzle ("Hey!") and ran his eyes over the numbers. "Eh, you're fine, " he declared after a moment's worth of mental calculation. "Just from apple selling alone, you're looking at a 11.6% increase in revenue." He closed the book and handed it over to Applejack with a cheerful smile, while Twilight stared at him.

"How..." she asked weakly.

"Twi, I was Mom's assistant before yours, plus I've been handling the library's finances since we moved here."

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Twilight stared at the numbers in the ledgers, unmoving. She'd been that way for the past five minutes, and the already panicked Applejack was close to hyperventilating.

"Ah knew it the farm's broke what am ah gonna tell Big Mac oh Celestia what about Apple Bloom..."

Twilight, on the other hand, was struggling to find a way to explain to her friend that as far as she could tell, what was written in the ledgers could have been Old Neighponese, for all she understood the numbers. A plaintive whine emerged from her throat, drawing Spike's attention from the ruby sandwich he'd been eating.

The growing dragon curiously nabbed the book from under Twilight's muzzle ("Hey!") and ran his eyes over the numbers. "Eh, you're fine, " he declared after a moment's worth of mental calculation. "Just from apple selling alone, you're looking at a 17.6% increase in revenue." He closed the book and handed it over to Applejack with a cheerful smile, while Twilight stared at him.

"How..." she asked weakly.

"Twi, I was Mom's assistant before yours, plus I've been handling the library's finances since we moved here."

Applejack blinked. "Sooo... Ah don't have t' sell mah body to make ends meet?"

Twilight stared in some disbelief at her friend. "I... Wha?"

Applejack blushed. "Er... See, um, the Cherry Ranch had another service fer customers ah provided and that earned me a lot o' money too but then ah came home and ah didn't have to do that anymore but uh... Well... Since ah thought we were in trouble ah got back into it and er..."

"Please, please tell me this service involved pulling things or pushing things," Twilight begged. Applejack's blush deepened and she smiled guiltily.

"Er... Well there was some o' that... Actually a lot o' that... Miss Jubilee was thinking of making me only have a group rate since most solo stallions ah left near death..."

Twilight gaped. "I... It... Fwuh...?"

"But ya know, if you'd like to try it out ah'll certainly give ya a discount!" Applejack said cheerfully.

 

[scriviner]

... So... she ain't got a head for figures, but she's got a figure for head?

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

... So... she ain't got a head for figures, but she's got a figure for head?

See, this is why it's for the best she didn't do the negotiations with the Flim Flam brothers solo... Or is it?

- - - -

"Phew," Applejack said cheerfully, smiling at the two stallions after a great deal of "negotiating". "So! Mah farm's mine again, and you two will help provide cider services on a..." She frowned. "Er... Equal basis?"

"Fifty-fifty sound good... To you...?" Flim asked, wearing a delirious smile. Applejack frowned.

"Uh... That's... Nice and fair, right?"

"Sure thing!" Flam said, staring up at the sky with a silly grin. He'd have looked up at AJ but that thing she'd done made him unable to move period.

"Good!" Applejack said cheerfully. "See ya around!" She trotted off, leaving the Flim Flam brothers utterly spent, exhausted... And totally happy.

"I love Ponyville," mumbled Flam.

"I love that mare," Flim sighed.

"She'd kill you if you got married, brother," Flam pointed out.

"Worth it."

"... Yeah."

 

[whitewhiskey]

Twilight stared at the numbers in the ledgers, unmoving. She'd been that way for the past five minutes, and the already panicked Applejack was close to hyperventilating.

"Ah knew it the farm's broke what am ah gonna tell Big Mac oh Celestia what about Apple Bloom..."

Twilight, on the other hand, was struggling to find a way to explain to her friend that as far as she could tell, what was written in the ledgers could have been Old Neighponese, for all she understood the numbers. A plaintive whine emerged from her throat, drawing Spike's attention from the ruby sandwich he'd been eating.

The growing dragon curiously nabbed the book from under Twilight's muzzle ("Hey!") and ran his eyes over the numbers. "Eh, you're fine, " he declared after a moment's worth of mental calculation. "Just from apple selling alone, you're looking at a 17.6% increase in revenue." He closed the book and handed it over to Applejack with a cheerful smile, while Twilight stared at him.

"How..." she asked weakly.

"Twi, I was Mom's assistant before yours, plus I've been handling the library's finances since we moved here."

Applejack blinked. "Sooo... Ah don't have t' sell mah body to make ends meet?"

Twilight stared in some disbelief at her friend. "I... Wha?"

Applejack blushed. "Er... See, um, the Cherry Ranch had another service fer customers ah provided and that earned me a lot o' money too but then ah came home and ah didn't have to do that anymore but uh... Well... Since ah thought we were in trouble ah got back into it and er..."

"Please, please tell me this service involved pulling things or pushing things," Twilight begged. Applejack's blush deepened and she smiled guiltily.

"Er... Well there was some o' that... Actually a lot o' that... Miss Jubilee was thinking of making me only have a group rate since most solo stallions ah left near death..."

Twilight gaped. "I... It... Fwuh...?"

"But ya know, if you'd like to try it out ah'll certainly give ya a discount!" Applejack said cheerfully.

You know, considering the Dragon nature of greed, Spike having a natural disposition for math would make sense...

And given that second section, suddenly the little dragon is a CPA...

Certified Pimp's Accountant

 

[Lord of Bones]

Rarity paused. "Twilight dear, did you just say that Spike's been running running the library's finances since you arrived?"

Twilight nodded slowly.

"And he calls Princess Celestia 'Mom'?"

"The Princess raised him," admitted the purple unicorn.

Rarity licked her lips. "Spikey-Wikey's not that much younger than us, is he? Maybe a five year age difference?"

"Five and a half," said Twilight warily.

Very, very slowly, Rarity smiled.

 

[scriviner]

... So... she ain't got a head for figures, but she's got a figure for head?

See, this is why it's for the best she didn't do the negotiations with the Flim Flam brothers solo... Or is it?
- - - -

See, now I'm imagining AJ's being attractive being put to best use by her family in negotiations.

"Ya know Granny, ah'm getting the impression ya might be takin' advantage o' me." She shifted uncomfortably as the tight dress seemed to want to cling to her like a second skin.

Granny Smith snorted dismissively and straightened out her granddaughter's skirts. "Piffle. Don't give me none of your backtalk girl. You're a valued member of the negotiatin' team. Now make sure you give your plot an extra bit of sway when you enter the room. We wanna make sure that durned Mcswindle's mind ain't gonna be on the deal he wants to make."

Applejack's head drooped and she sighed, "Yes, Granny."

The older mare's eyes flashed and she snapped, "Now, don't give me that look. I had to do the exact same thing when we first moved to Ponyville. Why else do you think we own so much land?"

"I thought Celestia gave that to you as a land grant." Applejack sputtered in confusion.

Granny's lips stretched into a knowing leer, "Mm-hmm. Ever wonder why she'd do that?"

Applejack stared and stammered out, "Buh-buh-but... wasn't it causa the zap apples?"

"Well, that's the story we tell folks outside of the family, of course." Granny winked and Applejack shuddered, not wanting to really think about what the older mare was implying.

 

[whitewhiskey]

If she thinks THAT's bad, imagine what Spike would think after hearing that about his mother and Granny Smith...

 

[scriviner]

If she thinks THAT's bad, imagine what Spike would think after hearing that about his mother and Granny Smith...

I'm seeing Spike, wide eyed and staring, curled up into a fetal position rocking back and forth muttering repeatedly to himself, "Go to your happy place. Go to your happy place. Go to your happy place."

 

[whitewhiskey]

If she thinks THAT's bad, imagine what Spike would think after hearing that about his mother and Granny Smith...

I'm seeing Spike, wide eyed and staring, curled up into a fetal position rocking back and forth muttering repeatedly to himself, "Go to your happy place. Go to your happy place. Go to your happy place."

Or maybe, having been raised by her, Spike is just jaded enough...

-----------------

Spike entered the library quietly. He really didn't need to overhear Granny Smith say that. It was one thing to accidentally wander in on his mom's private time with Fluer de Lis that night he had a bad dream...

Or that time he stumbled on her and a gryphon ambassador in the garden maze...

Or her, Cadance and Shining Armor in...

But Granny Smith? Somepony who actually had Granny in her name?

Really, there was only two ways to get this out of his head. Memory spells were out, since not only would it interfere with his new responsibilities as accountant for Twilight's friends, but Twilight would have to ask what she was erasing, something that would be an argument waiting to happen, since the unicorn was naively unaware of her teacher's wild side...

So, grabbing a paper and quill, Spike took the other option, it would still be weird, but better than images of the geriatric old pony prancing into his head...

Dear Mom,

Do you happen to have any pictures pictures of Granny Smith from her 'negotiations' for their family farm?

 

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

A slightly more twisted idea is that Applejack pretends to be in severe debt to stallions she finds attractive so she can "offer herself as collateral" because it's a fetish of hers to be totally dominated and at somepony's mercy.

And Big Mac just rolls his eyes and tries to ignore it and keep Applebloom from seeing it.

 

[Lord of Bones]

Spike had to get his swag from somewhere; it's just that he prefers to leave it off.

 

[Lord of Bones]

Or maybe, having been raised by her, Spike is just jaded enough...

Man, I keep seeing the extended royal family (Blueblood, Spike, Luna, Celestia, Cadance) as one big happy dysfunctional family, much to Twilight's befuddlement.

Like Blueblood threatening SA with a baseball bat and gardening shears if he ever makes Cadance cry.

 

[scriviner]

Sooo... Spike as a seen it all unflappable type? No perversion is too weird, no sexy situation is too risque. He's seen it all and possibly even done his best to shelter poor Twilight from all the kinky, dirty sex happening in Canterlot around her oblivious little head?

 

[Souffle]