Sailor Moon Nanoha as Serenity: Take Two!
- Thread starter Comartemis
- Start date
I have thought over your story idea here and its take and if you want the story to work there are a few minor plot points you will need filling.
Yuuno: realisticly given your plot outline he is an Arc one character only, he acts as a vessel to get Nanoha Raging Heart then his usefulness drops off and disappears as the arcs progress. Once we hit Arc 3 (even in Nanoha Canon) he is a largely non-issue.
We have two casts that are largely female, and by and large straight to bi, we have a number of them that in Arc 1 are still in boy-hunting phase mind set, and we have Yuuno, someone that could mesh really well with virtually any of the Senshi (Neptune, Uranus, and Pluto not withstanding)
His removal from the original plot is largely because of the TSAB removing him from the Earth. If the TSAB wants to get on the Sailor Senshi's good side do they really want to take away a possible Handle on this large group of SS-Class mages?
Rule of 5: I am not going into the details of this beyond: It is far easier to control a cast of 5 primary heroes and 5 villians, larger casts tend to go out of control, for some this degrades to a rule of 3, but since both Sailor Moon and later arcs of Nanoha are more of a Sentai thus rule of 5. So if you are going to focus mostly on 5 characters in Arc one who are you going to pick?
Finally what if Berrel was Hayate? She had managed to escape her bindings early by reincarnating herself and ended up with the book? I think that would be original.
Yuuno: realisticly given your plot outline he is an Arc one character only, he acts as a vessel to get Nanoha Raging Heart then his usefulness drops off and disappears as the arcs progress. Once we hit Arc 3 (even in Nanoha Canon) he is a largely non-issue.
We have two casts that are largely female, and by and large straight to bi, we have a number of them that in Arc 1 are still in boy-hunting phase mind set, and we have Yuuno, someone that could mesh really well with virtually any of the Senshi (Neptune, Uranus, and Pluto not withstanding)
His removal from the original plot is largely because of the TSAB removing him from the Earth. If the TSAB wants to get on the Sailor Senshi's good side do they really want to take away a possible Handle on this large group of SS-Class mages?
Rule of 5: I am not going into the details of this beyond: It is far easier to control a cast of 5 primary heroes and 5 villians, larger casts tend to go out of control, for some this degrades to a rule of 3, but since both Sailor Moon and later arcs of Nanoha are more of a Sentai thus rule of 5. So if you are going to focus mostly on 5 characters in Arc one who are you going to pick?
Finally what if Berrel was Hayate? She had managed to escape her bindings early by reincarnating herself and ended up with the book? I think that would be original.
I agree! Come on, she's one of the Three Aces! Why must she always get the short end of the stick.... T_T
If anything, I'd like her as Endymion - I mention it once again as a vote for Shiakou's snippet being a full-fledged chapter! And her backstory is only a step less tragic than Fate's.... Admittedly, she slots well enough as Hotaru with Admiral Graham as Professor Tomoe. Though the same could be said for Fate with Precia & Arf or Linith.
If anything, I'd like her as Endymion - I mention it once again as a vote for Shiakou's snippet being a full-fledged chapter! And her backstory is only a step less tragic than Fate's.... Admittedly, she slots well enough as Hotaru with Admiral Graham as Professor Tomoe. Though the same could be said for Fate with Precia & Arf or Linith.
I disagree. She may have been an orphan and crippled, but compared to what Fate went through her life might as well have been sunshine and rainbows. Gil made sure that Hayate's passing would be as peaceful as possible, and would have trapped her in a Lotus Eater Machine where she would forever be happy.
Internet Arguments are like Calvinball; there are rules, goals and ways to score points, they just keep changing all the damn time, there are thousands of ways to win and nobody has ever won. 
That said, I'd point out that Nanoha herself was headed for a dull, unsatisfying existence where the best she could hope for was to get into a military or the police force, both of which are very dominantly male organizations in Japan. The kid was wondering about her life's directions at age nine.
Or she could have worked in the underground, but I doubt her parents or sibling would have been happy about it, unless she got a job as Suzuka's bodyguard or something.
Yuuno's arrival and subsequent meeting with Nanoha was a blessing to a LOT of people.
That said, I'd point out that Nanoha herself was headed for a dull, unsatisfying existence where the best she could hope for was to get into a military or the police force, both of which are very dominantly male organizations in Japan. The kid was wondering about her life's directions at age nine.
Or she could have worked in the underground, but I doubt her parents or sibling would have been happy about it, unless she got a job as Suzuka's bodyguard or something.
Yuuno's arrival and subsequent meeting with Nanoha was a blessing to a LOT of people.
well if you really want different then Hayate as Serenity instead of Nanoha, but I think that is an entirely different plot then intended.
Besides who says Hayate has to be evil intentionally, she did perfectly well as unintended evil in canon thank you, besides her... Generals, I mean Knights, were essentially draining something from innocent people, and were far better at it then almost all of the Sailor Moon enemies put together. They did interesting things like beat the snot out of the good guys, drain targets where the people who would likely interfere probably won't find them, do hit and run drainings, and most dasterdly, hid their boss in plain sight. Lets not forget the entire teamwork thing too, we all know just how good at that Sailor Moon enemies usually are.
The only Sailor Moon enemies that even came close to this were Ail and Anne. Galaxia herself may have come closer to winning, ok technically she won only for Usagi to use her hax crystal powers to undo the win, but still. If Metallia was behind the book of darkness and the regular Generals were cut out entirely...
Besides who says Hayate has to be evil intentionally, she did perfectly well as unintended evil in canon thank you, besides her... Generals, I mean Knights, were essentially draining something from innocent people, and were far better at it then almost all of the Sailor Moon enemies put together. They did interesting things like beat the snot out of the good guys, drain targets where the people who would likely interfere probably won't find them, do hit and run drainings, and most dasterdly, hid their boss in plain sight. Lets not forget the entire teamwork thing too, we all know just how good at that Sailor Moon enemies usually are.
The only Sailor Moon enemies that even came close to this were Ail and Anne. Galaxia herself may have come closer to winning, ok technically she won only for Usagi to use her hax crystal powers to undo the win, but still. If Metallia was behind the book of darkness and the regular Generals were cut out entirely...
Thinking about alternatives to the Senshi, and I realized something: Nanoha would work very well as Mercury. She's a freaking genius, able to tutor high school students in math at age nine, and is able to learn how do do magic and develop her own spells at a frightening pace. She definitely has the "Brains" part down pat. Plus if she integrated the Mercury Supercomputer to Raising Heart, she would get even MORE scary. Hell, once she gets RH and learns the Midchildan system of magic, she would be a force to be reckoned with, able to strategize on the fly, analyze enemy weakness and the like, and back it all up with heavy artillery.
I'm not sure the Mercury Computer can do anything that a proper device can't do by itself, really; most of what it does is scanning and analyzing weaknesses, and RH can do that and a ton of other things autonomously. Having a tech advantage is one of the bureau's balancing points against Senshi power levels; it's more likely that modern device AIs can make the Mercury Computer look like a pocket calculator.
Being a math genius is also a given for high-level mages in Nanoha (and possibly all mages). Nanoha magic is strictly formulaic, which is why Devices exist; they don't make their wielder any more magically powerful, but they give him an unmatched efficiency and take off some of the mental load of doing calculus in the middle of a battle.
Mercury is the only one whose default spells do more than blow stuff up in different ways so no, she's not "utterly useless". When devices start getting handed out you can expect her to be one of the first to get one and master its functions (and the Mid magic system in general) faster than the other Senshi.
We can't nerf an entire cast's skill set just to make one character more relevant. (Okay, so technically we can, but that's bad writing.) The author will just have to find new ways to keep her relevant.
. . . Or she can join Yuuno and commiserate about how no one remembers to call her in season 3 and Force despite going up against ancient, powerful technology that really, really should be up her/Yuuno's alley.
Imagine Yuuno and Ami teaming up to hack into the Cradle's databanks. Scan ship, pinpoint auxiliary terminal, teleport in, set Cradle's defense system to identify the Aces and Forwards as allies, while flagging Jail and company as hostiles.
Then Yuuno touches the Throne and the Cradle identifies him as the Kaiser's father.
On loudspeaker.
Across the entire ship and any Bureau ships listening in.
Cue hilarity.
. . . Or she can join Yuuno and commiserate about how no one remembers to call her in season 3 and Force despite going up against ancient, powerful technology that really, really should be up her/Yuuno's alley.
Imagine Yuuno and Ami teaming up to hack into the Cradle's databanks. Scan ship, pinpoint auxiliary terminal, teleport in, set Cradle's defense system to identify the Aces and Forwards as allies, while flagging Jail and company as hostiles.
Then Yuuno touches the Throne and the Cradle identifies him as the Kaiser's father.
On loudspeaker.
Across the entire ship and any Bureau ships listening in.
Cue hilarity.
I'm not saying that you have to. Just that the Mercury Computer's capabilities are much better than those of Devices and/or the Asura. I mean, we've never really seen the Devices actually analyze anything. Darth just assumed they were capable of it, and by accident or design made Mercury to be useless. I'm trying to find a way to make Mercury more relevant, giving her Awesomeness by Analysis and supreme hacking skills. Put Nanoha's tendency for heavy artillery once she gets RH on top of that, and you now have a not-worthless Mercury.
After all, doesn't she tell Teana to "Cool your head"? She's obviously an ice user.
After all, doesn't she tell Teana to "Cool your head"? She's obviously an ice user.