No Usagi, Bad Usagi!
- Thread starter The Ero-Sennin
- Start date
I decided to compile and edit the entries so-far on a whim, did some conversion of some rules to the appropriate tense and object, removed some, etc. So here:
List of Things that Sailor Moon May Not Do (Abridged and Edited) said:
1. Sailor Moon is not allowed to fight indoors, especially where there is anything expensive, fragile, flammable, or some combination of the three.
2. Shouting "Leeeroy Jenkins" is not an appropriate way to start a battle.
3. Sailor Moon is not allowed to use improvised weapons. Ever.
4. Sailor Moon is no longer allowed to steal subway cars unless the end of the world is imminent.
5. Sailor Moon does not set national policy. She does not enforce it. She has no governmental powers whatsoever. Period.
6. The Transformation Pen, while able to change Sailor Moon's appearance, age, ethnicity and even gender, is not for enabling sexual experimentation.
7. Sailor Moon may not use cats as improvised weapon silencers (addendum to #3)
8. Magical weapons are not paperweights and may not be used as a doorstop.
9. Sailor Jupiter's comments regarding her past crush do not require a snarky response.
10. There is no breed of "Fainting Youma".� Sailor Moon is not permitted to attempt to create such a breed by pairing up the most frightened youma together.
11. Despite her name, Sailor Moon is not allowed to use the moon itself as a weapon, particularly against a terrestrial target.
12. Sailor Moon may not attempt to silence her advisor by covering up her moon mark.
13. The minions of Sailor Moon's enemies can not be pressed into indentured servitude.� Nor can they be hired or coerced into becoming a Sailor Minion, Sailor Henchman or Sailor Flunky.
14. Sailor Moon has a pre-defined costume thematic.� Alternatives such as "Nazi German" or "Soho Dominatrix" are forbidden.
15. Sailor Moon's duties are to the protection of humanity from monsters; it is not to promote alternative ideologies, whether in the name of the people or in the name of the moon.
16. Sailor Moon is not permitted to summon eldritch assistance from beyond the boundaries of any sane universe.
17. The uniform of a Sailor Scout is designed to combine fashion and utility; removing or thinning fabric for "a more adult appearance" is not permitted.
18. Tuxedo Mask's job is, for the most part, morale support.� That being said, he is still capable of fighting if necessary.
19. There is no "Sailor Earth".
20. However overweight they are, sailor moon cosplayers are to be left strictly alone.
21. Train molestors are indeed criminals.� However, it is not Sailor Moon's duty to find and punish them.
22. It is not necessary to use Naru as bait for perverts; recording the proceedings before 'rescuing' her is especially forbidden.
23. The Silence Glaive is not a carving knife.� That's what the Space Buster Sword is for.
24. The phrases 'hot pursuit' and 'suspicious activity' do not justify breaking and entering.� Nor do they justify strip-searches of passers-by.
25. The Dark Kingdom's Generals are indeed male, but they are not suitable targets for clumsy advances.
26. The Sailor Scouts are not 'hos' and Tuxedo Kamen is not your pimp.
27. Dissection of Sailor Moon's advisors or any other sentient beings is strictly forbidden.
28. The Silver Millenium is not a sparkly facade over a seedy underbelly of atrocities and deviance; it is wrong to tell the other Scouts otherwise.
29. Sailor Moon's advisor is not to be given catnip, and the results of any such incident are taboo to speak of.
30. Not all problems can be solved with a thrown girder, car, train, aircraft or other abnormally large projectiles.
31. Regardless of the current classification, in the Silver Millenium Pluto was considered a planet and had a Senshi.� Mocking said senshi about "dwarf planets" is forbidden.
32. Weekly ritual orgies every Friday is not a "long-established Sailor custom".
33. While searching for mystic stones may require investigating jewelery stores, it does not require the confiscation of the stock "for further research".
34. "Throwing Cat" is not an appropriate exotic weapon proficiency.� Luna is not a "Masterwork Throwing Cat".
35. Re-creating a Godzilla movie with the aid of the Transformation Pen is strictly forbidden.
36. Sailor Moon may not eat the hearts or other organs OR drink the blood of her enemies to "gain their power".
37. A skinned youma is not an appropriate accessory for a Senshi costume.
38. The Shadow does not know, and Sailor Moon does not wield pistols.
39. If Sailor Moon had theme music, it would not be "Youth Gone Wild", "Bad Boys" or "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor".
40. Sailor Moon does not leave taunting commentary on her "kills" on Twitter or Facebook.
41. While spending money may be scarce in the current economic climate, filming transformation sequences for later sale is forbidden.
42. Sailor Pluto's precognitive abilities, such as they are, are not appropriately used for gambling.
43. The Gates of Time are a sacred trust and a proud duty for Sailor Pluto.� They are not her outlet for rampant voyeurism.
44. Going through the pockets of youma attack victims for spare change is most inappropriate.
45. No matter how hungry Sailor Moon is, candy bars dispensed by vending machine youma are not an appropriate snack.
46. Bystanders are innocents to protect, not targets for "level grinding".
2. Shouting "Leeeroy Jenkins" is not an appropriate way to start a battle.
3. Sailor Moon is not allowed to use improvised weapons. Ever.
4. Sailor Moon is no longer allowed to steal subway cars unless the end of the world is imminent.
5. Sailor Moon does not set national policy. She does not enforce it. She has no governmental powers whatsoever. Period.
6. The Transformation Pen, while able to change Sailor Moon's appearance, age, ethnicity and even gender, is not for enabling sexual experimentation.
7. Sailor Moon may not use cats as improvised weapon silencers (addendum to #3)
8. Magical weapons are not paperweights and may not be used as a doorstop.
9. Sailor Jupiter's comments regarding her past crush do not require a snarky response.
10. There is no breed of "Fainting Youma".� Sailor Moon is not permitted to attempt to create such a breed by pairing up the most frightened youma together.
11. Despite her name, Sailor Moon is not allowed to use the moon itself as a weapon, particularly against a terrestrial target.
12. Sailor Moon may not attempt to silence her advisor by covering up her moon mark.
13. The minions of Sailor Moon's enemies can not be pressed into indentured servitude.� Nor can they be hired or coerced into becoming a Sailor Minion, Sailor Henchman or Sailor Flunky.
14. Sailor Moon has a pre-defined costume thematic.� Alternatives such as "Nazi German" or "Soho Dominatrix" are forbidden.
15. Sailor Moon's duties are to the protection of humanity from monsters; it is not to promote alternative ideologies, whether in the name of the people or in the name of the moon.
16. Sailor Moon is not permitted to summon eldritch assistance from beyond the boundaries of any sane universe.
17. The uniform of a Sailor Scout is designed to combine fashion and utility; removing or thinning fabric for "a more adult appearance" is not permitted.
18. Tuxedo Mask's job is, for the most part, morale support.� That being said, he is still capable of fighting if necessary.
19. There is no "Sailor Earth".
20. However overweight they are, sailor moon cosplayers are to be left strictly alone.
21. Train molestors are indeed criminals.� However, it is not Sailor Moon's duty to find and punish them.
22. It is not necessary to use Naru as bait for perverts; recording the proceedings before 'rescuing' her is especially forbidden.
23. The Silence Glaive is not a carving knife.� That's what the Space Buster Sword is for.
24. The phrases 'hot pursuit' and 'suspicious activity' do not justify breaking and entering.� Nor do they justify strip-searches of passers-by.
25. The Dark Kingdom's Generals are indeed male, but they are not suitable targets for clumsy advances.
26. The Sailor Scouts are not 'hos' and Tuxedo Kamen is not your pimp.
27. Dissection of Sailor Moon's advisors or any other sentient beings is strictly forbidden.
28. The Silver Millenium is not a sparkly facade over a seedy underbelly of atrocities and deviance; it is wrong to tell the other Scouts otherwise.
29. Sailor Moon's advisor is not to be given catnip, and the results of any such incident are taboo to speak of.
30. Not all problems can be solved with a thrown girder, car, train, aircraft or other abnormally large projectiles.
31. Regardless of the current classification, in the Silver Millenium Pluto was considered a planet and had a Senshi.� Mocking said senshi about "dwarf planets" is forbidden.
32. Weekly ritual orgies every Friday is not a "long-established Sailor custom".
33. While searching for mystic stones may require investigating jewelery stores, it does not require the confiscation of the stock "for further research".
34. "Throwing Cat" is not an appropriate exotic weapon proficiency.� Luna is not a "Masterwork Throwing Cat".
35. Re-creating a Godzilla movie with the aid of the Transformation Pen is strictly forbidden.
36. Sailor Moon may not eat the hearts or other organs OR drink the blood of her enemies to "gain their power".
37. A skinned youma is not an appropriate accessory for a Senshi costume.
38. The Shadow does not know, and Sailor Moon does not wield pistols.
39. If Sailor Moon had theme music, it would not be "Youth Gone Wild", "Bad Boys" or "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor".
40. Sailor Moon does not leave taunting commentary on her "kills" on Twitter or Facebook.
41. While spending money may be scarce in the current economic climate, filming transformation sequences for later sale is forbidden.
42. Sailor Pluto's precognitive abilities, such as they are, are not appropriately used for gambling.
43. The Gates of Time are a sacred trust and a proud duty for Sailor Pluto.� They are not her outlet for rampant voyeurism.
44. Going through the pockets of youma attack victims for spare change is most inappropriate.
45. No matter how hungry Sailor Moon is, candy bars dispensed by vending machine youma are not an appropriate snack.
46. Bystanders are innocents to protect, not targets for "level grinding".
69.) Usagi, you can barely walk two steps without falling over. So why in the hell do you want an Evangelion?
69a.) No, you can't have a Gundam either.
69b.) Or a Super Sentai mecha.
69c.) Usagi, you are banned from watching any sort of show that has a robot that is piloted by a human being.
70.) Yes, Usagi, for the millionth time, I am quite sure that Rei is not secretly a dominatrix.
70a.) Nor is wearing dominatrix gear underneath her Shinto robes.
70b.) Just because she hits you when you do or say something stupid doesn't mean you have absolute evidence that she is one.
71.) No, Usagi, you may not have a segment piece at the end of your episodes like your dub counterpart does.
71a.) Didn't we discuss the bit about not breaking the Fourth Wall already?
72.) Just because your name is "Sailor Moon" doesn't mean you can not wear anything underneath your skirt.
72a.) Nor are you allowed to bend over during a battle, while not wearing anything underneath your skirt, slap yourself, and say "Kiss This." to the youma.
69a.) No, you can't have a Gundam either.
69b.) Or a Super Sentai mecha.
69c.) Usagi, you are banned from watching any sort of show that has a robot that is piloted by a human being.
70.) Yes, Usagi, for the millionth time, I am quite sure that Rei is not secretly a dominatrix.
70a.) Nor is wearing dominatrix gear underneath her Shinto robes.
70b.) Just because she hits you when you do or say something stupid doesn't mean you have absolute evidence that she is one.
71.) No, Usagi, you may not have a segment piece at the end of your episodes like your dub counterpart does.
71a.) Didn't we discuss the bit about not breaking the Fourth Wall already?
72.) Just because your name is "Sailor Moon" doesn't mean you can not wear anything underneath your skirt.
72a.) Nor are you allowed to bend over during a battle, while not wearing anything underneath your skirt, slap yourself, and say "Kiss This." to the youma.