Odd rant.

H-Man

Random phantom.
#1
Yay, I get to open this thing with a bazooka!

Today's rant is about how much shipping in general sucks (yes, I know, but cram it until after I'm done).

Now, I'm not talking about how most ships are dumb or about how most shippers seem to have a hole in their heads, but basically about how they make ships, which seems to be 'Character A+Character B=INSTANT WUV!!!'.

Um, no! That doesn't make sense, especially when it's been proved by canon that neither of the characters feels something above comtempt for the other! Cases in point being typical Gryffindor/Slytherin ships, which are usually dumb, filled with extremely OoC characters, and more painful than rocks.

Then there's the problem with the 'feeling of fulfillment' that some shippers seem to want. There's absolutely nothing more annoying than finding out that in most fics your favorite character is shipped with a character you don't like, just because 'that way everyone's in love!!!'.

Honestly, sometimes I think being a lemon writer isn't worth this sort of competition.
 

Fatuous One

Well-Known Member
#2
Woo, new section! Thanks, Hawk. ^_^

Anyway, yeah, I pretty much agree with you. Not to say that I don't like odd pairings, Gryffindor/Slytherin ships, if done right, can be very nice. However, when the author just has the character suddenly, and for no apparent reason, struck by an epiphany...

"Oh... my god, s/he is just so... sexy! I can't believe I didn't see it before, I'm in love!" And then visa versa... :rolleyes: yeah, utter crap.

's just bad writing, in my opinion.
 

SimmyC

Well-Known Member
#3
Completely agree. Again, like Fatuous One said, I have no problem with odd pairings if done right. Haruka/Keitaro for example, odd, but for the fics I've read, well done. I'm not sure about Griffindor/Slytherin since I haven't read the books, but yeah, if there is a story that is done right, I'm sure I would like it despite the oddness. But if the typical fics are "ZOMG! HE/SHE/ITZ ZO HAWT!!!1111 LETZ HAB WIDZ MONKY SMEX!!!" then I have a problem here.
 

H-Man

Random phantom.
#4
Want to know what are the majority of the Gryffindor/Slytherin fics?

Harry|Ron|Hermione|Ginny/Draco|Snape.

The problem? Well... the fact that nobody gets past the fact that they absolutely HATE each other, in general?

...you know, I'm thinking of putting another rant about how I dislike a certain ship, but I don't know how it'd flow wit you guys.
 

SimmyC

Well-Known Member
#5
Oh I get it now. And even though I only watched the movies (and read the first book) I see the problem.
 

Fatuous One

Well-Known Member
#6
Well, like I said, if it's well written, it can be good. Granted, I hate both Draco and Snape as characters, so I likely wouldn't read any of those fics even if they were well written. However, that doesn't make it automatically bad, just less likely to be any good.

What ship do you dislike? I'm somewhat curious.
 

SimmyC

Well-Known Member
#7
To be honest, the only ship I really dislike, is the one that will happen. Ron/Hermoine. <_< Continuing the tradition opposing the canon pairing. I'm not sure about Ginny/Harry since, well, haven't read the books remember? :p Though from what I hear, I wouldn't like Ginny that much... at least the way Rowlings is protraying her.

Though anyone/Snape is certainly up there. I mean, who'd be good with the defense aganinst the dark arts teacher? Certainly no one in Gryffindor.

Although I admit, I do have a dark fantasy of a Hermione/Draco if done right. :ph43r: Problem here, the 'done right' part. Without making it totally OOC, that is nearly impossible.
 

GenocideHeart

Well-Known Member
#8
Yay, Hawk created the General Rant section I asked for.

As for weird shippings... I hate yaoi couples involving one or both characters being decidedly straight. Case in point, Kakashi/Iruka. KAKASHI READS PORN AND OGLES WOMEN. How can anyone claim he's gay? Hmm?

Things like these make me want to stab someone in the groin.
 

Israfel

Well-Known Member
#9
As for weird shippings... I hate yaoi couples involving one or both characters being decidedly straight. Case in point, Kakashi/Iruka. KAKASHI READS PORN AND OGLES WOMEN. How can anyone claim he's gay? Hmm?
Oh you know those fangirls, they'll think of some crappy reason, like "OMG well ya'see Kakashi is, like, in the closet and, like, reads that smut because he's, like, in denial, ya'know?" Or something like that.
 

SimmyC

Well-Known Member
#10
I completely agree there. I mean, I'm okay with Yoai if the characters were, well, feminine to begin with (I use the example in Last Exile since, well, it's obvious that Dio and Lucciola are quite, well, feminine). But for characters like Kakashi/Iruka, or Naruto/Sasuke (the latter, eh, well, he ran into the arms of Orochimaru. But Naruto, the creator of the Sexy no Jutsu?!) absolutely no way am I reading that crap!
 

GenocideHeart

Well-Known Member
#12
I'm fine with, for example, Bridget yaoi for one simple reason - Bridget was raised as a girl, and is about as sexually confused as they come. Hell, when a girl defines him 'pretty' (not 'handsome', notice, she said 'pretty' in a feminine sense) he was happy, not understanding that it meant he was overly feminine... I wouldn't be surprised if he was gay, or at the very least borderline bisexual.

But when it clashes with everything the characters represent, I must kill stuff. Violently.
 

Hawk

Well-Known Member
#13
> KAKASHI READS PORN AND OGLES WOMEN

Not really a sure-fire way to spot straightness in a person. Some of the dirtiest discussions and most fun babe-watching I've had with another bloke sort of confused me later on when he emerged from the ever-so-famous closet ( No bloody wonder if people turn up gay after spending all that time together in a tiny little closet! ). I certainly saw no indication whatsoever of him being anything but straight, until he came out and said that he wasn't.

Though I'm still partly convinced that he's at least bi, but in denial about it. :)


But despite my failure in spotting this in my pal beforehand, I still find it somewhat annoying when people in fics just turn gay at the drop of a hat.

***

I swear, sometimes it's just...

/Oh, look. There's Potty-potter, that pompous asshole. I'll trip the little bastard, just for fun!/

+Slam+

"Ow! What did you do that for?!"

/Hehe, just look at him, lying there on his knees. ... Wow, he's got a really nice bum./

"Oh, Harry! I'm so sorry! Lets run off and have wild monkey sex in the potions classroom. Who knows, if Snape comes across us, he might join in too!"

"Wow, what a great idea, Draco! I never really hated you, you know! I've always had a secret crush on you, because your Slytherin ways are so attractive! Did you know that I almost wound up in Slytherin? I can't even remember why I didn't any longer."

"Oh, that would have been great! We could have been fuckbuddies from our first day at Hogwarts if you'd wound up in Slytherin! Oh, I know another cool thing. I can cheat on you with every boy and girl in sight, causing you to get so depressed that you'll start cutting yourself!"

"Wow! Great idea! I've always wanted to take a sharp knife and scar myself, y'know, get myself something to match Voldie's scar on my forehead!"

***
 

GenocideHeart

Well-Known Member
#14
...there are actually HP fics like that?

...wait, forget I asked. I most definitely DO NOT need a link to such atrocities.
 

Israfel

Well-Known Member
#15
...there are actually HP fics like that?

...wait, forget I asked. I most definitely DO NOT need a link to such atrocities.
Yes sadly there is, a long time ago I used to know a girl who pretty much lived off that sort of thing *shudders*, yah, it's that bad.
 

SimmyC

Well-Known Member
#16
ARGH!!! Bad enough when you have yoai fics when they are not needed. But yoai fics where the guy turns instantly gay? [bashes Yoai Smut writers heads into the wall]
 
#17
A long while back (several years ago, at least), at one of the first message boards I ever frequented, there was this rabid yaoi fangirl (my term for them being yaoi jihadist) who was completely ignorant of even basics in the plot of the anime/manga/whatever the hell she was writing for. We're far beyond Goku/Vegeta bullshit, this broad wrote god damned Onizuka yaoi. How the HELL does that compute?

She also fancied herself an 'excellent artist' (I don't know, I've never seen any of her artwork), one time she demanded that all of the most prominent males on the board (which had over a thousand or so members at the time) submit descriptions of themselves to her so she could draw them into a yaoi hentai comic she was working on. A few of the guys (including me) refused, and then suddenly stupid crap started happening, like all of us having our email accounts flooded with spam and flames, me and another guy got banned for "harassment of a prominent board member", it was stupid overall.

Since then I've been highly intolerant of any and all yaoi whatsoever. Used to I'd just avoid it, now it's more like BURN THE HERETICS!
 

Israfel

Well-Known Member
#18
long while back (several years ago, at least), at one of the first message boards I ever frequented, there was this rabid yaoi fangirl (my term for them being yaoi jihadist) who was completely ignorant of even basics in the plot of the anime/manga/whatever the hell she was writing for. We're far beyond Goku/Vegeta bullshit, this broad wrote god damned Onizuka yaoi. How the HELL does that compute?

She also fancied herself an 'excellent artist' (I don't know, I've never seen any of her artwork), one time she demanded that all of the most prominent males on the board (which had over a thousand or so members at the time) submit descriptions of themselves to her so she could draw them into a yaoi hentai comic she was working on. A few of the guys (including me) refused, and then suddenly stupid crap started happening, like all of us having our email accounts flooded with spam and flames, me and another guy got banned for "harassment of a prominent board member", it was stupid overall.

Since then I've been highly intolerant of any and all yaoi whatsoever. Used to I'd just avoid it, now it's more like BURN THE HERETICS!
Was the girl who was doing this a mod? Or at least in good with all or some of the some of the mods? Becuase that would most likely explain it, and as for the spamming, well you must never underestimate a yoai fangirls drive and obsession with flaming all those who oppose her into ashes, believe me those things are so vicious they just barely qualify as human anymore. A group is even worse, because with normal girls you have Cyber Sisters, but with Yoai fangirls, you have Yoai Cyber Sisters, which is about ten times worse.
 
#19
You hit it exactly, she personally knew half of the mods and was friends with the rest, as well as with the Admin. And I almost mentioned Flame Warriors myself, just chose not to. To explain the situation in Flame Warriors terms, she was with a Cyber Sisters group, one of the other members of the group was part of a Swarm, said swarm contained all of the moderators on that forum... as well as moderators on other forums. I can count three forums from which I was banned for minor or even nonexistant infractions over the past three or four years (as well as a fourth forum where a male Swarm member and mod who'd banned me on another forum masqueraded as a female and goaded me into a flame war for which we were both eventually banned), and even a few months ago I was uncerimoniously kicked out of a WoW guild when a guild officer recognized me, then proceeded to get me blacklisted from the entire Alliance population on that server.

I've only heard off-and-on from the other guys who got harassed at the time, though I used to talk regularly with one of them (an Aussie dude who lost his moderator status on another forum due to the whole incident) over AIM until my computer suddenly stopped supporting AIM a few months ago. I know aside from losing his moderator status at one message board, he was banned from at least one other, and had the girl he was in a long-distance relationship with at the time told a bunch of crap that eventually resulted in a break-up.

As for the dudes that went along with the chick's plan, I know for a fact that at least one of them went from being an average guy to suddenly declaring that he was transsexual a few months later. It was actually him that banned me on the second forum I got kicked out of, then pretended to be a chick and followed me to a fourth forum and goaded me into a flame war over the topic of abortion.
 

Israfel

Well-Known Member
#20
You hit it exactly, she personally knew half of the mods and was friends with the rest, as well as with the Admin. And I almost mentioned Flame Warriors myself, just chose not to. To explain the situation in Flame Warriors terms, she was with a Cyber Sisters group, one of the other members of the group was part of a Swarm, said swarm contained all of the moderators on that forum... as well as moderators on other forums. I can count three forums from which I was banned for minor or even nonexistant infractions over the past three or four years (as well as a fourth forum where a male Swarm member and mod who'd banned me on another forum masqueraded as a female and goaded me into a flame war for which we were both eventually banned), and even a few months ago I was uncerimoniously kicked out of a WoW guild when a guild officer recognized me, then proceeded to get me blacklisted from the entire Alliance population on that server.

I've only heard off-and-on from the other guys who got harassed at the time, though I used to talk regularly with one of them (an Aussie dude who lost his moderator status on another forum due to the whole incident) over AIM until my computer suddenly stopped supporting AIM a few months ago. I know aside from losing his moderator status at one message board, he was banned from at least one other, and had the girl he was in a long-distance relationship with at the time told a bunch of crap that eventually resulted in a break-up.

As for the dudes that went along with the chick's plan, I know for a fact that at least one of them went from being an average guy to suddenly declaring that he was transsexual a few months later. It was actually him that banned me on the second forum I got kicked out of, then pretended to be a chick and followed me to a fourth forum and goaded me into a flame war over the topic of abortion.
Holy shit, these people sound more like the mafia then some rabid yoai fangirls. The "we'll destroy your entire life, kill all your family and loved ones, and then kill you slowly and painfully" type, mna I'm glad i stay away from those types.
 
#21
Yeah, my first years as a newbie to the internet were a bit... exciting. Kinda like a movie, only it's being shown on television, so all the sex scenes are cut.
 

Israfel

Well-Known Member
#22
Yeah, my first years as a newbie to the internet were a bit... exciting. Kinda like a movie, only it's being shown on television, so all the sex scenes are cut.
Well then what's the point? No fun bein' in a movie if there's no sex scenes. And most of my 'formative' internet years were spent mostly ghosting about the web not really actively getting involved with anything so I was saved from making those awkward newbie mistakes.
 

Dead_Alfadur

Well-Known Member
#23
Thank you, oh wise masters, for sharing your war stories so that this lowly noob can learn the intricacies of surviving the uncertain and often perilous battlegrounds of these Flame Wars. I will not pester, but any hard won tips to survival woud be much apreciated by this lowly green horn. ;)
 
#24
Well, the first thing you should do is remind yourself of the sad, sad fact that, thanks to the anonymity that the internet provides, it is highly unlikely that you will ever get a chance to punch that jerk who's insulting your mother in the face, so you'll just have to settle with either ignoring him or insinuating that said jerk fornicates with sheep.
 

SimmyC

Well-Known Member
#25
Ah yes. I'm more of the kind to avoid flame wars whenever possible. Even when I was a lowly newbie, I knew what battles to join, and what not to join simply because, well, I started mostly as a lurker for most forums. Though I guess that makes me a "Me Too" kind of guy since I'd usually only join a discussion if others were already in it in the first place.

There are a few exceptions of course, and usually this involves politics. Given how bad the situation can deteriorate due to bringing up politics, needless to say, I now avoid most discussion of it whenever possible.
 
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