Oscar the Stoner

#1
Parts <a href='http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/2225740/' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>one</a> and <a href='http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/12669503/' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>two</a>.

So, /tg/, one of my favorite things to do is to go on yahoo groups, find some small yet active RPG (vampire or star trek usually, best results) and I'll proceed to roleplay a stoner...
Stories from anons who've derailed entire RPs with characters entirely unwilling to get involved in the overall plot and thus ruined their DM's shoddily-laid plans. Including such gems as:

The... game was set in the world of Deathnote, Tokyo, Japan.

It was immediately after L's death, and everyone was pretending to be various detectives bent on capturing Kira or fangirls trying to fuck him senseless.

So then, my Oscar's backstory was as follows; A mysterious man who appears to be in his mid twenties, has a penchant for wearing sandals, threadbare jeans, ironic T-Shirts and matching wristbands. He has day old stubble constantly, a lip piercing, a lanky build, long and greasy hair and woke up approximately one week ago in Tokyo Airport with naught but his bong, ten kilos of weed in a suitcase, a small amount of chewing gum stuck to the sole of his sandal and a sore head.

He's recently managed to 'procure' the apartment of one of Kira's many victims.

From that point on, Oscar (or as other's called him,'That guy') would spend most of his days sitting in his apartment lighting up his bong, watching day-time television, sleeping on his couch or taking brisk walks through the city where other important events were going on, which he would watch while swaying gently back and forth.

Three times Kira tried to discover my name by sending Misa or Rika into my den to find my true name, but each time they were defeated quite quickly as I would simply offer them a puff or two of a joint or my signature bong, before they would promptly forget the next several hours of debating what time of day the sun looks smuggest, if a bear could get depressed, and sweaty, dirty sex that ended in Oscar ejaculating prematurely.

Eventually, the majority of the cast gave up their search for Kira and would spend their days in the company of the stoned foreigner while getting as high as a kite. We ended up pulling a lot of silly shit, including Z.Z attempting to toss a mini-fridge fifty feet into the air and breaking their legs, and the GM tried to 'fix' game by making an Aeroplane passing by overhead crash into the apartment complex by killing the pilot.

She gleefully described the deaths of every major character inside the building at the time, aside from Oscar himself, who merely sat their on the couch, unable to differentiate the massive amounts of fume from the joints and his bong generated over the weeks from the smoke of the fire, and too high to care about the bodies, as the fire slowly surrounded him.

My response was to have him wake up, and realise it allhad just been a really fucking bad trip before he, in agonizingly large amounts of detail, eat a tin of beans for lunch.

The GM ragequit soon after.
Enjoy.
 
#2
Gentlemen, gentlemen and FBI agents: <a href='http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/11950118/#11952743' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'>Mr. Bombardini, obese vampire.</a>
 
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