You can blame GH for this one; I was reading Irresistible Force and a plotbunny of Keitaro with superpowers latched onto me and wouldn't let go. This is just the first bit, but it's my first Love Hina fic, so don't be too harsh on it, you veterans. 
I do accept C&C, and I would like an honest opinion of what I've got so far, though. And don't worry, I won't bitch if you're blunt. ^_^
First snippet, ahoy!
oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
In a sheltered area of Tokyo, a young man could be seen wandering around the tree-lined side streets, muttering to himself under his breath.
ôAhhàwhere is it? I know itÆs got to be around here somewhere...ö he mused, a thoughtful expression creasing his round face, dark eyebrows quirking in slight irritation behind large square glasses. Despite having been searching the streets for almost fifteen minutes, he had yet to find his elusive goal.
ôAh!ö Behind a nearby shop, he noticed a small sign pointing to an alleyway heÆd overlooked the last time he had passed. Though the diminutive notice was somewhat in disrepair, the words æHinata SouÆ could still be made out on the wood, next to an arrow pointing to the alley.
Hefting his bags over his shoulder, the young man strode through the space between the buildingsàand stopped. It was almost like a different world, past the buildings. Here, a light breeze blew, caressing the branches of the many trees along the stairs. Cuckoos could be seen bringing food to their chicks, and the sound of birdsong filled the air.
The young man sighed in contentment at the tranquility of the scene. It had been quite some time since he had last been to his grandmotherÆs inn, but the one thing he recalled with perfect clarity was the placid atmosphere. It was this peaceful aura that made him think that it would be the best place for him to study and retake the Todai entrance exams. HeÆd failed twice, but this time, he knew heÆd make it. He had to make itàas a second-year ronin with little life experience, it was nearly impossible for him to find a well-paying job. And now that his parents had kicked him outà
ôNoàKeitaro Urashima doesnÆt give up so easily!ö he said loudly, a fire burning in his eyes. Blinking suddenly, he realized his surroundings and the fact that he had just said that out loud. Keitaro blushed slightly at the silly image he must have presented just now, and continued up the stairs in silence.
Rounding a final corner, his destination came into view. Hinata Sou, the (mildly) famous hot springs inn under the ownership and management of his grandmother. Climbing the final set of steps, he opened the door and tentatively called out:
ôAhà.Grandma? Are you here?ö Receiving no answer, he removed his shoes, padding into the Inn. It was oddly quiet, and there didnÆt seem to be any guests around.
ôGuess itÆs a slow day, thenàö Keitaro muttered to himself. Lugging his meager possessions to his grandmotherÆs room, he plopped himself down on the floor, sighing in relief. It had been a rather long day of walking about, and he was tired out.
Even as he settled himself on the cushions, a thought struck him. The hot springs were probably open, and a soak would definitely feel nice. Picking his protesting body up off the pads, Keitaro walked over to the dressing room. Removing his clothing, he put on a towel and walked out to the springs. A cloud of steam obscured them, but he could still feel the warmth emanating from the water in waves of comforting heat.
ôAhhhà.ö Sinking himself into the spring, Keitaro sighed in contentment. The hot water permeated his body with soothing warmth, washing away his fatigue. It had been some time since heÆd just been able to relax like this, especially sinceà
ôKitsune? Is that you?ö Keitaro froze as a light, feminine voice carried over the water. His mouth began to open and close silently as a long-haired brunette came into view, holding a towel that barely covered her assets.
ôCrap! Did I come into the womenÆs side somehow? Butàthere wasnÆt a signàö
Thinking frantically, Keitaro was about to try and sneak around the side of the spring when the girl dropped the towel, coincidentally giving him a grand view of her shapely body, and lowered herself into the spring with a moan of happiness.
ôMmmmà.this feels nice after a long day, doesnÆt it Kitsune?ö KeitaroÆs mind had shut down due to the lovely scenery; one of his only functioning appendages was his mouth, opening and closing stupidly like a fishÆs. The second was another object farther south, but his brain had yet to fully register the view he had just received.
Dabbling her fingers in the water, the girl hummed lightly, before cocking her head to one side and doing something most unexpected. Hefting up her breasts with her hands, she said:
ôMou, Kitsune, do you think my breasts have gotten bigger?ö
At that, poor KeitaroÆs brain finally recorded his lack of breathing, and he started to hyperventilate. His breathing only accelerated as the girlàjiggledà.at him, a curious look on her face.
ôHey, can I check and see if IÆve caught up to you yet?ö
Keitaro didnÆt think it was possible, but his breaths sped up even more as the girl swam over to himàand groped him.
ôWhat theàKitsune? What happened to youràand whatÆs this hard thingàö
Silence ensued as the girl produced a pair of glasses from who knows where, squinting at him through the steam. Even though he knew he would die, KeitaroÆs gaze dragged itself down the brunetteÆs chest, even as her eyes followed a similar path down to the offending object between his legs.
Even the birds stopped chirping as a chill fell over the springs.
ôEEEEEEEEEK!!! PERVERT!!!ö
ôNo, wait! Ack!ö
Totally ignoring KeitaroÆs muffled protests, the girl swung a massive punch at his head, which moved her body in interesting waysàand went straight through his head with a æwhiffÆ.
ôWhat theàö the girl gaped at him for a few precious seconds, which Keitaro took full advantage of to flee.
ôHey! Come back here, youàyouàpervy ghost!ö
Yells and thrown objects followed him into the dressing room, some passing directly through his body, most just missing him completely. Rounding a corner, he turned back to check for pursuitàand tripped. Falling forward, he reached out desperately for a handhold, and grabbed onto two very soft and firm objects.
Sighing in relief, he turned his headà.only to see his hands directly on the chest of a gray-haired, extremely busty woman. She blinked at him for a few seconds, a surprised look spreading over her face, but a bar of soap flung from behind caused him to phase once more. Falling to the ground with a thud, he noticed he had a towel in his hands. Almost not daring to even check, his head creaked up as if dragged by an omnipotent force. Following a path up the long legs, his eyes didnÆt have to move very far before they confirmed it. Yes, it was the womanÆs towel he currently had in his hands. Because of this, she was longer wearing it.
ôAnd who are you supposed to be?ö the gray-haired beauty asked with an eyebrow quirked, seemingly uncaring that he was essentially eying her up. Keitaro picked himself off the ground and opened his mouth to reply, but a small stool whizzing past his head was deemed more important.
ôOi! Get away from Kitsune, pervy ghost!ö The brunette who had felt him up earlier was back, with more ammo. Covering his head and yelping as objects whizzed past and through him, he ran for his life, head bent down and covered with his arms.
ôAre you okay, Kitsune? Did that perverted spirit try anything?ö The brunette panted out, obviously desiring to continue the chase.
ôNaruàdidàhe just run through the wall?ö
oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
I do accept C&C, and I would like an honest opinion of what I've got so far, though. And don't worry, I won't bitch if you're blunt. ^_^
First snippet, ahoy!
oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
In a sheltered area of Tokyo, a young man could be seen wandering around the tree-lined side streets, muttering to himself under his breath.
ôAhhàwhere is it? I know itÆs got to be around here somewhere...ö he mused, a thoughtful expression creasing his round face, dark eyebrows quirking in slight irritation behind large square glasses. Despite having been searching the streets for almost fifteen minutes, he had yet to find his elusive goal.
ôAh!ö Behind a nearby shop, he noticed a small sign pointing to an alleyway heÆd overlooked the last time he had passed. Though the diminutive notice was somewhat in disrepair, the words æHinata SouÆ could still be made out on the wood, next to an arrow pointing to the alley.
Hefting his bags over his shoulder, the young man strode through the space between the buildingsàand stopped. It was almost like a different world, past the buildings. Here, a light breeze blew, caressing the branches of the many trees along the stairs. Cuckoos could be seen bringing food to their chicks, and the sound of birdsong filled the air.
The young man sighed in contentment at the tranquility of the scene. It had been quite some time since he had last been to his grandmotherÆs inn, but the one thing he recalled with perfect clarity was the placid atmosphere. It was this peaceful aura that made him think that it would be the best place for him to study and retake the Todai entrance exams. HeÆd failed twice, but this time, he knew heÆd make it. He had to make itàas a second-year ronin with little life experience, it was nearly impossible for him to find a well-paying job. And now that his parents had kicked him outà
ôNoàKeitaro Urashima doesnÆt give up so easily!ö he said loudly, a fire burning in his eyes. Blinking suddenly, he realized his surroundings and the fact that he had just said that out loud. Keitaro blushed slightly at the silly image he must have presented just now, and continued up the stairs in silence.
Rounding a final corner, his destination came into view. Hinata Sou, the (mildly) famous hot springs inn under the ownership and management of his grandmother. Climbing the final set of steps, he opened the door and tentatively called out:
ôAhà.Grandma? Are you here?ö Receiving no answer, he removed his shoes, padding into the Inn. It was oddly quiet, and there didnÆt seem to be any guests around.
ôGuess itÆs a slow day, thenàö Keitaro muttered to himself. Lugging his meager possessions to his grandmotherÆs room, he plopped himself down on the floor, sighing in relief. It had been a rather long day of walking about, and he was tired out.
Even as he settled himself on the cushions, a thought struck him. The hot springs were probably open, and a soak would definitely feel nice. Picking his protesting body up off the pads, Keitaro walked over to the dressing room. Removing his clothing, he put on a towel and walked out to the springs. A cloud of steam obscured them, but he could still feel the warmth emanating from the water in waves of comforting heat.
ôAhhhà.ö Sinking himself into the spring, Keitaro sighed in contentment. The hot water permeated his body with soothing warmth, washing away his fatigue. It had been some time since heÆd just been able to relax like this, especially sinceà
ôKitsune? Is that you?ö Keitaro froze as a light, feminine voice carried over the water. His mouth began to open and close silently as a long-haired brunette came into view, holding a towel that barely covered her assets.
ôCrap! Did I come into the womenÆs side somehow? Butàthere wasnÆt a signàö
Thinking frantically, Keitaro was about to try and sneak around the side of the spring when the girl dropped the towel, coincidentally giving him a grand view of her shapely body, and lowered herself into the spring with a moan of happiness.
ôMmmmà.this feels nice after a long day, doesnÆt it Kitsune?ö KeitaroÆs mind had shut down due to the lovely scenery; one of his only functioning appendages was his mouth, opening and closing stupidly like a fishÆs. The second was another object farther south, but his brain had yet to fully register the view he had just received.
Dabbling her fingers in the water, the girl hummed lightly, before cocking her head to one side and doing something most unexpected. Hefting up her breasts with her hands, she said:
ôMou, Kitsune, do you think my breasts have gotten bigger?ö
At that, poor KeitaroÆs brain finally recorded his lack of breathing, and he started to hyperventilate. His breathing only accelerated as the girlàjiggledà.at him, a curious look on her face.
ôHey, can I check and see if IÆve caught up to you yet?ö
Keitaro didnÆt think it was possible, but his breaths sped up even more as the girl swam over to himàand groped him.
ôWhat theàKitsune? What happened to youràand whatÆs this hard thingàö
Silence ensued as the girl produced a pair of glasses from who knows where, squinting at him through the steam. Even though he knew he would die, KeitaroÆs gaze dragged itself down the brunetteÆs chest, even as her eyes followed a similar path down to the offending object between his legs.
Even the birds stopped chirping as a chill fell over the springs.
ôEEEEEEEEEK!!! PERVERT!!!ö
ôNo, wait! Ack!ö
Totally ignoring KeitaroÆs muffled protests, the girl swung a massive punch at his head, which moved her body in interesting waysàand went straight through his head with a æwhiffÆ.
ôWhat theàö the girl gaped at him for a few precious seconds, which Keitaro took full advantage of to flee.
ôHey! Come back here, youàyouàpervy ghost!ö
Yells and thrown objects followed him into the dressing room, some passing directly through his body, most just missing him completely. Rounding a corner, he turned back to check for pursuitàand tripped. Falling forward, he reached out desperately for a handhold, and grabbed onto two very soft and firm objects.
Sighing in relief, he turned his headà.only to see his hands directly on the chest of a gray-haired, extremely busty woman. She blinked at him for a few seconds, a surprised look spreading over her face, but a bar of soap flung from behind caused him to phase once more. Falling to the ground with a thud, he noticed he had a towel in his hands. Almost not daring to even check, his head creaked up as if dragged by an omnipotent force. Following a path up the long legs, his eyes didnÆt have to move very far before they confirmed it. Yes, it was the womanÆs towel he currently had in his hands. Because of this, she was longer wearing it.
ôAnd who are you supposed to be?ö the gray-haired beauty asked with an eyebrow quirked, seemingly uncaring that he was essentially eying her up. Keitaro picked himself off the ground and opened his mouth to reply, but a small stool whizzing past his head was deemed more important.
ôOi! Get away from Kitsune, pervy ghost!ö The brunette who had felt him up earlier was back, with more ammo. Covering his head and yelping as objects whizzed past and through him, he ran for his life, head bent down and covered with his arms.
ôAre you okay, Kitsune? Did that perverted spirit try anything?ö The brunette panted out, obviously desiring to continue the chase.
ôNaruàdidàhe just run through the wall?ö
oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
