[Pokemon - Generation II] Pokemon Johto - The Funne Version!!!

[H-Man]

Pokémon Johto - The Funne Version!!!

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Chapteur Le First
—Kenta’s Quest! Welcome To The Pokémon World!—

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It was one of the nicest days in the peaceful town of New Bark. Then a Swalot jumped on a Dodrio that was about to squawk and ate it in one gulp. “Swalot!” it said later, before burping, saying its own name again.

Meanwhile, inside a house on the northeastern corner of the city, a young boy was already awake; whether it was because he had somehow heard the Swalot or because he was too full of energy and the explosive power of YOUTH!!!, none would ever know. Either way, he was sitting on the ground next to his favorite videogame, turned on and in the middle of a very entertaining and maybe, even hard playthrough, something he wasn't thinking about, focused on the game as he was.

This boy was dressed rather simply: a red and white sweater over a red shirt, with yellow shorts and shoes as well. On his head, a yellow and black cap, turned towards his back, gave the final touches, complimented by the pack worn on his back.

He was about to perform a leap which would take him to the end of the level when the young boy heard a call from down the nearby stairs. Shutting down the game with a sigh, he came closer to the stairs going down, and heard the call repeat. “Kenta! Come over here, son!” a shrill female voice called out, strongly.

“Coming, mom!” he answered, before heading down the stairs. On the lower floor, which looked a lot like every house in the country, he noticed his mom talking to the next-door neighbor, an old woman with worn-out hair and a very unfriendly air to herself, as kind as she often was; the boy had spent quite a while helping her out to understand that she had a very unpleasant character, especially regarding her opinion of other people, which she loved to mention wherever she went, to everyone in town.

Then again, that was a podunk town with about fifty families, despite being the entrance to Johto, something that was attested also by the cities of Goldenrod and Olivine. Um, it was also the place where all young and starting Pokémon trainers went to receive their first Pokémon, unless they lived on any of the other cities, where they could receive or catch them with help from the Gym Leaders. Uh… it was also the place where Prof. Elm, the leading authority in the Pokémon world, unless you remembered Prof. Oak, lived. It was also the homeland of…

Ah, enough about this, and let’s go on.

Anyway, Kenta, who was obviously the boy who has some strange importance, despite being a rather unknown character for the previous minutes, and therefore is listed here as the main character for reasons you don’t want to know about (YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THEM!), was staring at his mother and her visitor, who had been the focus of attention for several minutes before they turned their gazes to the city.

Finally, after the long and awkward pause, the boy ahemed, despite that not being a verb or a real action, and then proceeded to clear his throat in a coughing fit. This broke the previously unknown spell that affected the city, and now his mom was paying attention to him. “Yes, dear?” she asked, with a voice that seemed a bit strained. The fact that the unpleasant neighbor in front of her was apparently hoping to speak seemed to be related to that, but probably isn’t.

Kenta stared at her as if she had turned into a Dodrio hybrid. Well, if you asked any of the males living in the city who wasn’t at the vicinity of their wives, they’d say that that look was something usual for them, given how the somewhat young woman was sadly a single mother. Unfortunately for her, it just so happened that all the men in the city were unhappily married because of that. And most of this unhappiness came from the fact that their wives never let their husbands pursue their dreams, like skydiving naked or climbing Mt. Silver to the peak, or visiting the Azalea and Goldenrod Gyms, something they missed from their journeys. But that’s unrelated and we won’t talk about that, especially because we’ve got better things to do than listen to a bunch of old men whining about how their wives were horrible hags.

Seriously, we do.

As this monologue happened, Kenta stopped staring and decided to speak. “It’s just that you just called me to ” he started, but was quickly interrupted as his mother quickly got up the table and moved towards him, laughing loudly as she took something out of her right pocket, obscuring the neighbor from sight. When she was sure her face couldn’t be seen, her eyes quickly became pleading and her expression dropped to one of despair. Kenta easily noticed that it was the same expression all the other women in town had for their children (and, for some strange reason, he tended to be a normal target as well, despite not actually being friendly to their children; it was as though people expected him to do things for them for no reason) when that unpleasant old woman visited them for five hours, which pretty much meant ‘Help me out or you’ll be grounded until after I die’.

Sighing as usual, he finally noticed the object his mother produced from inside her pocket; a familiar circular device with a specially designed LCD touchable screen, several switches for various functions, including one of his favorites, a systematic cellular antenna-and-duovocal sliding bar, which was something he didn’t understand other than it meaning the word ‘cellphone’. Combined into a very complex machinery piece, the POKéMON Geared Energetic Automated Receiver, which was usually shortened into POKéMON GEAR, and then POKéGEAR, but without so many capitalized letters, was the most recent device from Selected Industries of the Local Pokémon Humane Corporation, or Silph Co. Most people didn’t really know what the words exactly meant, and usually when asked the lawyers, accountants, and other technical people in the realm of business told them that they were part of a heavy code made mostly in protection of the rights of the people as potential customers. Which some skeptics called a bunch of technobabble, which was also an alternate official explanation according to the technical people, which led to several lawsuits by the part of the lawyers, but that’s too much digression for the mere explanation of a watch, and therefore, if you want the complete story, please read your economical history books.

His mother beamed, before moving around and making sure the plump old woman could notice what she was about to do. “Well, Kenta, Prof. Elm came over here earlier, while you were sleeping. He finished fixing your Pokégear, and left it here before going back to his lab, asking me to tell you to go to his lab. Apparently he had something else for you. Isn’t that great?” she said, before cocking her head to the side and giving a smile that made men in the city lose their footing and sigh sadly while their wives took heavy objects conveniently stored on their purses and smacked them on the head.

Kenta put up a smile and nodded, noticing how their neighbor was in a mix between expectant and nervous. “Yeah, that’s great,” he said half-heartedly while taking the device on her offering hand and slapping it on his wrist, as with a normal watch, when the biomagnetic stickers kept it safe in place on his shirt. “So… Prof. Elm wants to talk to me?” he asked, sounding as hopeful as he could without actually being hopeful. His mother almost showed a tint of sadness go through her face, but if she did, it didn’t last a second; almost immediately, she increased her smile, to the point where he swore he was staring at an Octillery’s lower and many times forgotten second mouth. Those were known by all people, when they were young and studious, as being dark and damp and usually that’s how they eat.

Keeping her large and scary smile, she cocked her head farther to the side. “Well, that’s what he said. But I am pretty sure he can wait some time, and Mrs. Larai here was telling me about her daughter, quite the delightful girl, really…” she told him, but her pained eyes were pretty much crying and screaming ‘Please-don’t-leave-me-alone-with-her-anymore-Please-don’t-leave-me-alone-with-her-anymore-Please-don’t-leave-me-alone-with-her-anymore-Please-don’t-leave-me-alone-with-her-anymore-Please-don’t-leave-me-alone-with-her-anymore…’ in a tone which’d have made a thief from one of Kenta’s comics proud.

In an alternate dimension where the thief lived, he sneezed in a strangely effeminate tone, while an elf Archmage was teleporting them around with a minor spell. But that’s another story which nobody cares about right now.

Kenta gulped, as he knew that if he didn’t do anything, he’d be forced to spend the rest of the day helping Mrs. Larai’s with some tasteless and even irritating duty of hers, something that nobody wanted to do. Yet, if he left his mother with her, she would probably and definitely apply a terrible punishment to him, one he did NOT want to know. So he did the best thing that came to his mind. “Mrs. Larai, I was thinking… you know how much your daughter likes Prof. Elm, right?” he asked, confident. “Well, she told me he would be very interested in talking to you about her becoming one of his assistants, you know…”

The boy’s honest expression was enough for her to believe in such a weak answer as that one, and Mrs. Larai did not hesitate to say her goodbyes to Fia, Kenta’s mom, mentioning something about speaking to her daughter about this situation as soon as possible, taking a little time to spend some more make-up over her face.

As she walked over to the door, Fia gave her son a thankful yet angry look, which was answered by a confused look. Yet, he said nothing; instead, he walked towards the door and opened it for Mrs. Larai, who gave her good-byes and left. Kenta soon followed, leaving the house and taking in the mid-morning sights of the city. It was, as mentioned before, a small podunk town where nobody didn’t know each other, and there was a tendency for interbreeding, as in people marrying on and off families. As usual in small places.

Walking around, he noticed a young boy who was playing around, when he noticed Mrs. Larai walking towards his house. As she approached, he paled and ran towards his house, closing the door with a loud noise. Simultaneously, the people closer to her started to retreat, which made the scene become quite comical as several grown women (and several men, but not as many) were running away from a woman who looked like she couldn’t hurt a Butterfree (unless you considered mental damage from utter boredom painful).

Sweatdropping as he saw the scene, he took the short path to the nearby laboratory. However, he noticed that there was a strange-looking boy about his age staring at a window. He had long, flowing red hair, in the sense that most girls have, and wore a black sweater and purple pants, as well as a look of perpetual scorn on his face. If anyone cared, they’d notice black sneakers as well. But nobody really cared, too surprised with Ms. Maple and knowing peace was gone for them soon. Still, he was a fairly new face there, something unusual that month.

Kenta stared at the guy for a few moments, before coming closer. He was talking to himself, for some reason, and was nearly loud enough for the boy to hear. “So, this is where they are…” he said to himself, just before the reverse-capped boy touched his shoulder.

For some reason, he already expected to take the beating he just took, when the redhead punched him right in the face, throwing him to the ground.

“Don’t touch me.”

That coldness irritated him plenty, but Kenta said nothing, at first; he simply brushed his jacket’s sleeve against his mouth, cleaning it. Then he stood up, glaring angrily at the guy.

“What’s with you, huh?” he asked, only to be glared at in response. “If you’re mad go chill out!”

“Get lost, brat.” The redhead had quite the piercing, cold glare, as if he was looking right into Kenta’s soul. That was more than enough to shut him up. After a few moments of irritation, the reverse-capped boy took a few steps back, leaving the other boy alone, and headed to the lab’s entrance.

Going inside, he noticed the only aide Prof. Elm had, a young man who wanted to work for Prof. Oak, he’d heard; however, the letter hadn’t come, and he ended up working for Elm. He walked past the bookstands, several having labels stating they belonged to a ‘Samuel ***’ person, and reached the backroom, where Prof. Elm was fiddling with a computer with a tag similar to the labels on the books, with the name ‘Samuel ***’ on the side. Along the room, there was a large machinery with the words ‘Portable POKéMON Collapsible Electronic Neuro-Technological Energy Restorer’, with a note below indicating that it was ‘a gift from the ***** POKéMON CENTERs, to Samuel ***’.

As he stared at those, Prof. Elm, a young man who had a strange haircut, turned around to talk to Kenta. “So, Kenta, you’re finally here… sit down, please,” he told him, motioning for a nearby chair.

Kenta sat down. “You wanted to talk to me, professor?”

Elm nodded. “Yes. You see, I have been stuck to my neck in work, and unfortunately, I’ve been too busy with paperwork, to the point where I’ve stopped going off to the river to fish new species to eat–I mean study nowadays.”

“I think I get it… but do you need me to do anything?”

“Well, yes. We here at the lab are so busy with the research we’re doing for the National Pokémon Studies Congress that we have no time for one of the most important activities in this lab’s history… taking care of Pokémon.”

That made Kenta stare at him suspiciously. “Wait… wait up. You’re telling me you don’t have time to take care of your own Pokémon?”

“Far from it! It’s not our Pokémon that worry us, Kenta, but the most recent breeds that arrived just today. We received three unique and special Pokémon and must study their behaviors.” Elm took a file from his table. “You know, over a hundred Pokémon species were studied in the last ten years, with all evaluated data and all… but over here at Johto, many species were discovered the last three years that nobody believed could exist. Thus, my work will be precisely about these particular species.”

He indicated the other table, where three red and white spheres with black divisor lines were placed, having little differences from each other. To be exact, there were green shirt buttons glued to the first one, red buttons glued to the second one, and blue buttons glued to the third one. “My assistant and I can take care of two of these Pokémon, but even then there’s still one we can’t take care of. That’s where you come in, Kenta.”

“Taking care of this remaining Pokémon,” the boy summarized, rather coldly. Elm stared at him rather weakly, trying to keep up his wise pose.

“Kenta, you know Pokémon training is a big deal, don’t you?” Kenta half-closed his eyes. “Not everyone can do that!”

“You’re really quite the guy, Professor,” he grumbled, before looking at the spheres. “Just by watching TV you can see a lot of people with Pokémon. You don’t even need to be ten years old, that’s only the age for people to travel willy-nilly. I bet there’s kids half my age going out with Pokémon…”

“But…” the man hesitated, losing his cool pose. “Please, I need your help!” Kenta was surprised by that. “There’s nobody else in this town I trust more than you for this task, Kenta. I’m sure you will be able to take good care of this Pokémon, if you try hard. And… it won’t even be for that long, you know? It’s just until I finish my research, and all…”

The boy hesitated a little, embarrassed as he was by what he heard, and stared at the ground for a while. Then… “…okay. Okay, I can do that. I… I just have to take care of it and not lose it or anything, right? I think I can handle that…”

“Thank you so much, Kenta!” Elm said, with one of the biggest smiles ever. “With your help we’ll be able to learn many secrets about these new and mysterious Pokémon! You can count on it, boy!”

“What Pokémon are these, anyway?” Kenta asked, but the reverse-capped boy wasn’t answered; the computer suddenly beeped, drawing Elm’s attention.

“A message?” he commented, checking the received e-mail for a few seconds. “…a new discovery… like that’s news at this point…”

It took him a few moments to realize Kenta was still there, and the man turned around. “Well, how can I explain… my old childhood friend, Tajiri, although he’s more known as Mr. Pokémon, has announced to me that he has a new discovery. He’s been always like that, really. In fact, talking about him reminded me of the time where we were in high school. He always went off in hunts for new things, even though most of them were in the female dorm. Then again, he was always such a…” he reminisced, when he noticed Kenta’s stare of utter boredom. He laughed nervously. “But that’s not important right now. What is important is that he asked me to check his newest discovery, but…” he motioned towards the large amount of paper that was on the table.

“We’re all too busy to go over there, huh… me with this new Pokémon, you with your work…” Kenta commented, but Elm didn’t nod. In fact, he was thoughtful now.

“Actually… I think it will be a good idea for you to go over there in our place to see what great discovery that is,” he decided, confidently. “Yeah, that’s a great idea! What do you think, Kenta?”

The boy was taken aback. “So, you’re asking me to go see what this great discovery is?” he let out, even a bit frightened. The Professor nodded, opening a wide smile.

“That’s right! And since I want you to take care of one of these Pokémon we have, I’ll present it to you! You’ll be its first partner, and will have to take good care of it!”

Kenta sweatdropped, making a surprised face. “Um, professor…” he tried to speak, but was cut off.

“Yes! For you will need one to defend yourself from the dangers of this world! There are no problems with relying so much on them, because that’s what they’re here for! You should do well by travelling around with them! And that’s something you’ll only get from me!” Elm said, taking on a pose and talking to air. Out of the room, the aide sweatdropped and went back to cleaning the lab floor, littered with paper.

Kenta sighed and closed his eyes. Elm smirked. “I’m kidding, Kenta! That’s just what I’m gonna say on the next commercial they’re making about my lab.” Kenta just laughed awkwardly, before turning his gaze towards the red and white spheres.

“Why do you keep saying weird things?” he asked, causing the Professor to stammer to the ground, in a comical way. He stood up again, defying Physics as he did that in one second, and laughed.

“Oh, that’s just a joke. Don’t worry about that,” the professor told him. However, Kenta was still feeling uncomfortable. Still, the professor expected him to go to where Mr. Pokémon was, and he didn’t feel like disappointing him. But to take a Pokémon with him? He liked Pokémon as much as about everyone else in the planet, but unlike most people, his mother had kept him sheltered from most Pokémon, to the point where he had only studied them in books. And some of the things he’d read about the history of Pokémon weren’t what a young boy was supposed to know.

But his mother had tried to give him the best of education, and so he had learned much of the things most trainers didn’t even realize. He had an edge if he was forced, as he knew he’d inevitably be, to battle other trainers. And no matter how much he loved his town, he knew that his mother would be disappointed if he didn’t follow his father’s footsteps and became a Pokémon trainer.

In fact, that opened another question… why had he just thought that? His father hadn’t been a Pokémon trainer! He had been-“Kenta?”

Turning his gaze back to Elm, he noticed the elder man was confused. “You’ve been staring at the Pokéballs for minutes. I thought you had blacked out. Are you okay?” Kenta nodded.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I was just thinking about it. And…” he sighed. This was it. “You can leave that to me, Professor Elm. I’ll… I’ll do you that favor.”

Elm opened a big smile, and quickly defied Physics again, appearing behind the table where the Pokéballs were lying. “Excellent!” he said, half-laughing, before motioning towards the spheres. “In here are three Pokémon: the calm and delightful Chikorita, the playful and joking Totodile, and the happy and loyal Cyndaquil! Choose one of them!” he said, while motioning from right to left. Kenta took a moment, gulping nervously, before getting up and picking the leftmost Pokéball, with the red shirt buttons. Elm then made a happy pose, giving him a thumbs-up, before quick-moving to the same place he was earlier. “Cyndaquil, huh? Great choice! It might be a bit slow on the uptake, but it makes up thanks to its own power!”

He then noticed the device on Kenta’s shirt. “Oh, yeah! Your mom must have delivered your Pokégear to you. Well, then,” he said, before pressing a button on his phone, which caused a long thin cable to jump out. Approaching Kenta, he inserted the small point on a hole designed for it. Then, he pressed another button, sending data into Kenta’s POKéGEAR. Once the process was over, the cable retreated automatically. “Now you have my phone number. Contact me if anything important appears, okay?”

Kenta nodded, before pressing the button on his Pokéball, which caused it to shrink, surprising the boy. Elm laughed a bit. “Don’t worry, that’s a normal system Pokéballs use. By shrinking, you can carry them easier than if they were in their normal size. Nifty, huh?” Kenta merely nodded, before he walked towards the exit, stepping on lots of paper along the way.

Before he could open the door, however, the aide walked towards him. “Oh, if you’ll excuse me…” and before Kenta could react, he took a Potion from his coat and put it inside the middle pocket of his backpack. “You might need one of these later on. Don’t waste them, however. Only use them if you are sure that your Pokémon won’t hold on for too long.” Then, he pushed the boy through the door, before taking his broom and cleaning the floor again.

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Chapter Index:

1. Kenta's Quest! Welcome to the Pokémon World!
2. Meeting Mr. Pokémon! The Road to the Start!
3. The First Battle! Cyndaquil vs. Totodile!
4. The Journey Starts! Road to Violet City!
5. Arrival At Last! Sprout Tower, Here We Go! [Part One]
6. Arrival At Last! Sprout Tower, Here We Go! [Part Two]
7. Arrival At Last! Sprout Tower, Here We Go! [Part Three]

I'll be posting my story here, if you don't mind. Will be the one and only place for the new version until I am done with the first story arc. See ya later!

 

[H-Man]

Pokémon Johto - The Funne Version!!!

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Chapteur Le Second
—Meeting Mr. Pokémon! The Road to the Start!—

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Outside the laboratory, Kenta found himself on the ground as the doors were shut behind him. Groaning, he picked himself up, and looked around. The small crowd had gone back into their random pacing, while that teenager was still there, giving off the same aura. The aide then stuck his head off the room and gave Kenta a note, stating that Mr. Pokémon’s house was to the north of Cherrygrove City. He sighed and walked towards the town’s exit, which wasn’t too far away; merely a few steps forward and then to the right.

Once he was out of the city, he noticed how the scenery easily changed; after a few steps, he was in a tree-filled plain with grass reaching up to his knees and several people walking around randomly as well. There were also some mounds separating the upper and lower areas that were short enough for him to cross over, yet everyone else he’d met, from what he had heard, tended to only cross these from the upper side.

As he walked around the corner of the dividing mound, a guy was running away from a small mix between a non-existing animal called the raccoon and a wheel, which was obviously angry from being hit with a pebble. That creature, who was called a Sentret, jumped on top of the man and bit his head. “AUGH!” the man screamed, as the Sentret tried to suck his brains through his skull.

Although he was screaming, the man was too far from Kenta to be heard, his cries of pain and doom ignored by all. The boy’s distracted gaze ended up somewhere far from where he was, where a strange sphere-like thing rested on the upper ground. His curiosity was enough to make him go that way, but while he sought the sphere-like thing, it turned out to be a purple liquid soap bottle that didn’t look like a sphere at all.

“…why didn’t I see that before?” the reverse-capped boy asked himself as he took the bottle, identical to the Potion he had received from the Lab aide.

Turning around, he proceeded along on the path, while some guy was saying something about saving his progress to rest. Ignoring him, Kenta noticed there was a building leading somewhere, but he couldn’t see past it for some reason. A sign was there, with the words ‘ROUTE 46 EXIT’ written on it; that wasn’t anywhere near his destination, so he ignored them.

Soon, he found a weird-looking tree near a guy who was staring at his watch, tapping a foot rapidly. Ignoring him as well, he looked at the tree, noticing there was a small berry stuck to a branch. Nobody seemed to be looking at it or even giving it attention, and the small berry was alone in that big branch.

It took Kenta a bit to realize he had plucked the berry, after all. Grumbling to himself, he decided to keep it on a pocket in his pack, separate from the Potions. After going down the mount, he headed west once more, where he found a weird short old man sitting down and looking amusedly at a few women who were practicing off, on the square. He then realized he had finally reached Cherrygrove City, the first stop in his oh so very short journey.

There were megaphones all over the place, and they all played the same music, which was different from the one played in New Bark. Kenta shrugged upon seeing them, and tried to walk ahead, when suddenly the old man stopped him. “Welcome to Cherrygrove, young man!” he said, in a cheerful tone, before noticing the single Pokéball Kenta had put on his belt. “Oh, you’re a rookie trainer, huh? I can tell! But don’t worry,” he said, noticing his look of pretty much despair the boy had, “everyone is a rookie at some point!”

He then proceeded to laugh heartfully. Kenta just stared at him for a few moments, silent, before trying to step ahead, but was stopped again by the old man. “Now, now, where are your manners?” the old man asked. “I have been alone for quite a while. What do you think of giving an old man some company?”

Despite Kenta’s unease, he figured that he didn’t have much to lose, and so he nodded, trying to put up a smile. “Um, sure, I guess-WHOA!” he started, before he got pulled by the man, in a comical image, towards a large building with a red roof.

“Now, that’s the spirit! Anyway, rookie,” he said, apparently not caring about Kenta’s name, “this here is a POKéMON CENTER. Here you can check the computers and the nurses and have your Pokémon’s energy restored for free.”

He then pulled Kenta towards another building, this one having a blue roof. “This one is a POKéMON MART. It sells all sorts of items for young trainers like you. Also, these are the best places for information… after the centers, of course.”

Kenta barely acknowledged that information, before getting pulled again, to the city exit. “This is Route 30 to Violet City, the first of many Routes in the future. You can find and catch Pokémon in there, and battle trainers.” Then he was pulled to the city lake. “This is the sea,” he said, as if it wasn’t just a small lake. “Many Pokémon can be found there.”

The old man pulled him away, staring at the women who were practicing along the way, and unnerving them further, before they stopped in front of a house that looked like every other house in the country. “And this is…” he started, before laughing for several minutes. “This is my house!” This comment caused Kenta to crash into the ground, in the same manner as Prof. Elm did that same day.

Slowly picking himself up, as he wasn’t used to quickmoving as the older man, he stared annoyed at his tour guide, who was laughing harder by now, to the point of tears. After a few moments, he reduced his laughter and wiped the tears away. “You know, thanks for making company to an old man in the ends of his life. Here’s a gift for you!” he said, before throwing a T-shaped card, which Kenta barely grabbed. It had a picture of Johto taped to it. “This Map Card has data on all the cities and routes of the world. Have fun with it!”

And with that, he entered the house and left Kenta, who was left alone. “…what a weirdo,” he commented, before turning around. The women who were exercising just then were now staring at him for some weird reason. Their gazes seemed sharp enough to penetrate steel, and he didn’t want to test anything. “Um, if you don’t mind…” he hesitated, before running away from the city.

Outside, on what he considered a safe area, he went on his merry way, while, in the city, the women stared at him, now realizing that the man was safely at his home and no longer leering at them in a way that’d remind them of a non-existent animal called roach. This led to them returning to their duties, now with more guts and might. Of course, this was unnoticed by Kenta, who had long started his trek northwards.

After a few moments of walking, he found a house with some funny fat guy in front of it who looked a lot like the other fat guy he had seen earlier. This guy seemed to be looking bored out of his mind. When he looked at Kenta, however, his expression changed into one of delight. “Ohoho! You must be a rookie, right?” he asked, happily.

Kenta sweatdropped. “Well… yeah,” he admitted. The man smirked.

“Well, I know the perfect help for you! Just take one of these” he gave Kenta a berry, similar to the one he had found earlier, “and you’ll have good luck in your journey!”

Kenta gave a weak smile. “Um, how do I use these?” he asked, curious. The man looked at him, confused.

“Don’t you know how to eat things? Just give one to your Pokémon whenever he’s weakened and he’ll do the rest!” He then laughed again. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to watch TV. See ya!” And with that, he went inside the house and locked himself in.

Kenta was about to leave as well when he noticed another tree just like the first one. Approaching it, he noticed there was a berry in it, as well, and he plucked it out before putting both berries inside his backpack.

As he walked away, towards the northern area, he decided to see how the Map Card worked. So he looked at his Pokégear, the only mechanical device he had, and decided to insert the card in the only slot available. It went all the way inside, until it reached the small area where the T-top would be, and then the device beeped until it was finished.

After the card slid off its slot, Kenta pocketed it, just before noises drew his attention; there was a crowd surrounding some sort of battle between two boys wearing identical white shirts, blue shorts, and blue caps. Ahead of them were two big purple-and-white rats with long fangs and red eyes. Of course, Kenta only saw these once he actually pushed through the crowd.

The trainer closest to him was giving the actual order. “Rattata! Tackle attack!” he screamed, causing the rat ahead of him to jump forward and hit the other one, before jumping back. He then noticed Kenta, who apparently didn’t understand anything and was about to ask him something. “Do you mind? This is an important battle! I’ll take my revenge for the cookies he stole from me!” he told him, angrily, before turning his attention back to the battle, when the other Rattata did the exact same move as the first one.

Kenta was about to reply, when suddenly the crowd became thicker and he was pushed back, to the ground; it took him a bit to get back up. He had something better to do, definitely.

The rest of the path was short; Kenta could easily see a house surrounded by trees ahead. There was another tree, so he decided to go get the probable berry before going inside. However, this berry was a bit different, being greener and feeling a bit more itchy to the touch. Still, he pocketed it in his bag, as he would ask Prof. Elm about those later.

Afterwards, he went inside the building. There were lots of half-open drawers hiding clothing, although what it was he couldn’t discern. The trashcan was filled to the brim with… something. And he was sure there were some weird pictures on the computer which an old-looking guy, wearing a full suit, with top hat included, and a weird-looking beard, was using.

He walked forward, stepping over discarded photos, and approached the guy. “Um, are you Mr. Pokémon?” he asked, trying not to stare at anything. The man turned around, in surprise, and his beard fell lower, as if it was loose.

He stood up, surprisingly being shorter than Kenta expected, and took a step forward, before he noticed his beard was loose and turned around to fix it. This took a few moments, and soon he was turned around again, looking better. “Yes, I am Mr. Pokémon, although my close friends know me as Tajiri, and my close female friends know me as God,” he said, in a cheap imitation of an old man’s voice. “Do you have anything for me?”

Kenta shivered, but decided to keep his cool. “Uh, no. I’m here because Prof. Elm asked me to see the big discovery you made.” He hoped he wasn’t sounding too afraid or anything. “What is it?”

The old-looking man nodded. “Indeed, I, Tajiri, also known as Mr. Pokémon, have discovered something amazing regarding the mating acts of Pokémon! It is the most amazing thing you could ever believe!” he exclaimed, in a proclamation of his intelligence. Then he turned around, fixed his beard again, and took an egg-shaped… egg… from a drawer.

“I received this egg from a couple of friends of mine, who obviously were impressed with my smarts and good looks, and they told me it was found after a couple of Pokémon were left together for a while! Isn’t that some fantastic news?” he asked, obviously impressed with himself. Unfortunately for him, Kenta wasn’t.

“Couldn’t you have studied their mating habits before?” he asked, causing the old-looking man to crash into the ground, his beard falling away and revealing the horrible, horrible truth.

He was a young man who used platform shoes.

Quickmoving back to his previous position, he started to laugh nervously. “Hahaha… kids these days,” he said, before putting the egg in another pocket of Kenta’s bag. He was about to ask him why did he put it there, but he decided against it. As far as he knew, things like that were starting to become customary.

Just afterwards, another man came from behind a large computer set, where he was busy doing something, probably a fixing. He wore an uniform that was awfully similar to what Prof. Elm wore, but his shirt was red. His clothes were in disarray, and now that Kenta noticed, there was something sticking out behind the computer, but he couldn’t see it.

That man was the very known Prof. Oak, a major figure in the study of Pokémon. He was important enough to have his own radio program, television program, merchandising, and a lot more stuff he had rights upon. He had just taken out some device from his coat pocket, a rectangular red computer that looked like a tablet. It also was made to open up, as the lines indicated. In the top, there was a small antenna with a camera on the point.

Oak smiled at Kenta, noticing how he was surprised. “Oh, don’t worry. I am just giving this version the final touches… I believe, from your stare, that you know who I am, right?” he said, in a reassuring tone. Kenta nodded, making the professor laugh. “Well, that is to be expected, for I am Prof. Oak, POKéMON Professor extraordinary!” he explained, once he was done. Kenta would sweatdrop, but he had no time, as the professor noticed the small sphere hanging on his belt.

“Hm? Is that a POKéBALL?” he asked. Approaching it closer, he confirmed his suspicions. “And inside… is a rare POKéMON! Yes… of course. I understand why Prof. Elm would give you a POKéMON for this task.”

“Wait, you know Prof. Elm?” Kenta asked, surprised, and Prof. Oak nodded, with a rather odd smile.

“Indeed, I do. To be honest, once I learned that Mr. POKéMON was sending him a message about his discovery, I decided to wait for him here. But seeing you here, in his place, shows me how much Prof. Elm has understood your nature; he knew you would treat this POKéMON with love and care. That makes you a POKéMON trainer, and therefore you merit one of these!” He gave Kenta the device, which opened at once.

“Greetings. I am Dexter, the main computer for the POKéMON Device of Entendre Xtreamlined, or POKéDEX. Please state your name, gender, place of birth, date of birth, favorite color, type of underwear, favorite” it stated in a monotone, before Oak grabbed it and pressed a button, deactivating it.

“Sorry… There seems to have a problem with these new models. Sometimes they just don’t know when to stop…” he laughed nervously, before pressing a couple of buttons in the back. He then gave it to Kenta again. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to head to Goldenrod for my show with DJ Mary- I mean, the show DJ Mary co-hosts with me. Good bye!” And with that, he left the house, climbing on a convenient Skarmory and flying away.

Kenta stared at his leaving form, before he decided that he had spent enough time there, and walked outside, while he fiddled with his new Pokédex. Just as he had finished inserting the last bits of information, his Pokégear started to beep, before the cellphone system activated itself. Kenta moved his wrist to his ear, as if he was holding a cellphone with his hand, while he put the Pokédex on his pocket. “Yeah?” he asked.

“H-Hello? Kenta? Is that you?” Elm’s voice came from the speaker, loudly. “This is horrible! What are we going to do? It…” His voice cried in despair, almost hurting Kenta’s ear. The boy’s breathing was cut short, as he tried to understand what was going on; why was Prof. Elm acting so weirdly?

“Prof. Elm? Can you tell me what’s wrong?” he asked, confused. However, a few crashes and explosions blocked the answer. Elm’s voice came up desperate, soon after.

“No! Stop! You have no right to” he screamed, before the call was cut short for some reason. Only the sound of a dead phone remained.

Kenta slowly put down his arm, stunned, before he looked at the screen. Only a ‘DISCONNECTED’ note blinked, back and forth. He stood there for several moments, which seemed to him as an eternity, before he started to move almost mechanically, running full speed all the way towards the next city. The crowd was nothing to him, and he barely noticed that he was jumping over the small cliffs, so wrapped up in what had happened.

Finally, he reached Cherrygrove, going through the city in seconds; he was almost getting to the exit, when suddenly he bumped very hard on someone. As he tried to raise his head, he noticed that it was the same boy he had seen at the outside of Prof. Elm’s lab. The boy seemed to have recognized him as well, as the scowl he had almost constantly deepened. Kenta could almost feel the hatred he seemed to be giving him.

“So you’re the loser who got a Pokémon, before?” he stated, getting on his feet now. “What a waste.”

“What did you just say?” Kenta asked, getting to his feet as well. The redhead closed his eyes, one hand in his pocket.

“You heard me, loser. A wimp like you doesn’t deserve a good Pokémon like that.” The coldness in his voice was chilling, and the reverse-capped boy took a step back for a moment.

“…who do you think you are to decide that?” he asked, making the other boy open his eyes. “Whether I have a Pokémon or not… what do you care, huh?”

“How pathetic.” That was when Kenta saw he was taking out a very familiar sphere from his pocket. “Don’t you get what I’m saying?”

“…you were at the lab, weren’t you?” he asked, seeing the red-haired boy get even angrier. “I knew it! You got that Pokéball from there, and you’re running off with it!”

“Out of my way, you wimp…” the wild-eyed boy said, nearly snarling with rage. “Or you’ll regret it.”

Kenta barely had enough time to take out his own Pokéball, before taking on a defensive stance, ready to throw the sphere. They stared each other down, the redhead having a bitter smile on his face.

“Do you really think you can win?” he asked, before frowning. “Do you really think you deserve to win?”

“I’ll only find out if I try… and if I win, you’re coming back with me!” Kenta declared, his arm snapping back as fast as the other boy’s, readying the throw.

“SHUT UP!” the red-haired boy cried out, shortly before they both threw their Pokéballs ahead.

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[H-Man]

Pokémon Johto - The Funne Version!!!

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Chapteur Le Third
—The First Battle! Cyndaquil vs. Totodile!—

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From the two Pokéballs that Kenta and the other boy had thrown, very bright white beams came out that quickly reformed into two Pokémon, who landed hard on the ground.

The other boy’s Pokémon came out first, a small blue crocodilian creature, standing on its hind paws, with yellow scales for its torso and spikes as red as its eyes sprouting from its back. Just from landing it started to stomp the ground beneath its feet, like a tap dancer.

Meanwhile the one closest to Kenta looked like a small clawless mole, with a bright yellow-ish body, and having a dark, asphalt-like skin cover over much of its body. Its eyes were closed, and it had a small snout with no nose on the tip. Having landed on all fours, it made flames erupt from its back, surprising the others, before raising his head and letting out a war cry.

Kenta’s Pokédex activated right then and there, still in his pocket. “Cyndaquil, the fire mouse Pokémon. Height is 0.5m, weight is 7.5kg. Gender is male. It’s timid, always hunched over, and curling itself into a ball. If attacked, angry, or suprised, it flares up its back for protection. The fire that spouts from its back burn the hottest when it’s angry, as means to intimidate foes,” it informed, before commenting on his opponent. “Totodile, the big-jawed crocodile Pokémon. Height is 0.6m, weight is 9.5kg. Gender is male. It is small, rough, and tough, and chomps at any moving object it sees. Turning your back on it is not advised. Even its trainer must be careful.”

“Get that stupid rat!” the red-haired boy ordered, which was obeyed just afterwards; the Totodile was running forward, his claws ready to scratch. Taking out the Pokédex, Kenta noticed how the visor was showing the two Pokémon, with energy bars to the sides. Checking around, he found an option he was looking for: “Moves”. Accessing it, he could see Cyndaquil’s current ‘movelist’ – and it only had two moves, Tackle and Leer.

While he didn’t understand how the second attack would work, he at least had something to use now. “Cyndaquil, roll away and use Tackle!” he told him. The small mole did a funky barrel roll to the side that didn’t burn the grass below them, barely avoiding the sharp claws, and then used his hind legs to propel himself forward, delivering what most humans would call a shoulder tackle.

The Totodile took it in stride, but it was obvious that he had been hurt. However, he countered with a sharp slash using its fingernails. This strike was successful, and thus Cyndaquil was thrown backwards. However, the attack wasn’t strong enough to defeat him, and thus he easily stopped the movement, before kicking himself off the ground, in another tackle – but this time, it was aided by gravity.

Kenta gulped, as he had not ordered another attack. The Totodile tried, but couldn’t take the full strike, and was sent reeling backwards. Just as he was going to get up, he could see Cyndaquil delivering another attack… but he was unsuccessful, as the other Pokémon was called back into the Pokéball by the red-haired boy.

The scowl in his face was intense, and he was staring at the Pokéball, in mute surprise. Kenta was about to do the same as he did, but he stopped his motion as the other boy raised his head again. “Who do you think you are, you loser?” he roared, infuriated. “You must think you’re something… well, you’re not! You’re less than nothing!”

“What–”

“What is your name?!” he ordered, still burning in anger; it was hard for Kenta to disobey him.

“It’s Kenta. What is yours?”

“Kenta, huh?” The boy put his own Pokéball in his belt. “…My name is Kamon. I’ll become the greatest Pokémon trainer in the world.” With this proclamation, he went forward, pushing Kenta to the ground, and running away to the city. Cyndaquil turned to run after him, but the reverse-capped boy stopped him.

“Leave him alone, Cyndaquil! We don’t have time anymore… we have to get to the Professor’s lab!” he told the small nigh-blind mole, who turned his head towards him, while the flames died. He then looked towards Route 29. “That boy… Kamon, right? I think he attacked the lab and stole the Totodile… I don’t see how else he would have gotten it. But… why?”

Cyndaquil approached him. <Aren’t we supposed to be getting to the lab? Hurry up!> he retorted, before running ahead. Kenta just looked at him stunned, upon hearing that, but then he realized that the first Pokémon he had ever owned was running away from his care. Instantly, images of his mother and of Prof. Elm came up on his mind, and they were pretty negative, with reminders of grounding and no food and arrests and-

“AAAAAAH! WAIT FOR ME!!!” Kenta screamed, maybe in response at the previous comments. Or maybe just because he noticed how far his Pokémon was. Either way, he sped behind him, hopping off the cliffs and avoiding the grass and Pokémon that inhabited it. Finally, after what seemed like a long while, they had finally gotten to New Bark. In a burst of speed, Kenta grabbed Cyndaquil, and raised it off the ground. “C-calm down!” he warned him, barely avoiding the flames rising off his back.

This order seemed to take effect, and soon the flames subsided. As he raised his head, Kenta noticed they were right in front of the lab; however, it was a lot different from usual, as it seemed to have been covered with yellow police tape. There was no visibility from the inside, although the door was open, and all the Newbarkians were staring at it, wondering what was happening. There was a police motorbike parked in front of the lab.

Going inside, Kenta noticed that every single inch of the walls was covered with yellow tape; even the computers and the strange POKéMON CENTER machine were covered with it. Looking left, he noticed that the professor’s aide was stuck to the wall, covered with yellow tape, stuck in what seemed to be the ‘scrubbing with a broom’ position.

Sweatdropping, he went towards the main room, where Prof. Elm – who wasn’t covered with yellow tape – seemed to be arguing with a police officer, who was not a blue-haired female adult, but a brown-haired male adult, apparently a lot older than Elm. They seemed to be in an argument about who screamed louder, given how their voices were getting louder and louder.

By now, Kenta couldn’t make heads or tails of what they were screaming about. He was passing right before the officer when he was stopped. “Now hold it right there!” he said, in a gruff-yet-whiny voice. “There was a theft here! Nobody comes in or out before we find out who is the thief!”

Kenta gave the officer a half-lid glare, before he turned to Elm. “Prof. Elm, what was stolen, exactly?”

The young professor turned towards Kenta, wiping his brow. “Well, the Totodile I showed you… me and the aide tried to stop him, but he was too fast for us… let’s just say that I’ll have phone problems in the future and leave it at that, shall we?” he answered, partially pleading, and partially with a sore throat. The officer took out a notebook, and attempted to read it in the lab’s weak lighting.

“According to the description, there was something about the thief being a very manly girl with long, flowing crimson hair and wearing a black uniform…” he said, after a few moments. Kenta gasped just then.

“I know who the thief is!” he quickly replied, making the officer raise an eyebrow. “I just battled against him!”

The officer grabbed his shoulders, causing him to drop Cyndaquil, and shook him angrily. “You know who she is? Then tell us anything you know!”

“His name is Kamon, and he is a boy! He wears a black sweater and purple pants, and he’s probably on the way to Violet by now!” he almost screamed on the officer’s face, but only managed to say out loud. The officer released him, before he left the lab, jumped on the motorbike and sped away.

Kenta was still trying to recover his standing, when Elm approached him. “I suppose this is all we can do, or wait it out… now, what did Mr. Pokémon want?” he asked, in the best tone he could muster for someone with a sore throat. Kenta took out the egg from his backpack.

“Well, he said this was related to mating or something similar… apparently, it’s a Pokémon egg.” Eyes wide, Prof. Elm took it in his hands, examining it carefully.

“A… a Pokémon egg? What a discovery!” he eventually declared, smiling at last. “I think I can put something about that in my study… thank you, Kenta! You did me a great favor!”

After setting the egg down on the table, along with the remaining Pokéball with green buttons, the young professor turned back to the reverse-capped boy. “What else happened while you were out, boy?”

“Well… I met Professor Oak over at Mr. Pokémon’s house,” Kenta said, Elm freezing at once. “He gave me a Pokédex to use, too…”

“WHAT?! Professor Oak, my Professor, he gave you a Pokédex? Kenta, is that true?” the man asked, nearly out of breath. Frowning, the boy simply took it out of his pocket, showing it to him. To his surprise, Elm seemed kind of sad now. “T-that’s amazing! He’s great at seeing the potential in people, as trainers…”

“…what’s so great about that?” Kenta asked, not liking that tone very much. Elm took a deep breath, then.

“Wow, Kenta… I think you have the potential to become the Champion, after all.”

Those words made Kenta freeze at once, the Pokédex falling to the ground when his hand lost its strength. “W… what?”

“You’re also getting along very well with Cyndaquil, aren’t you?” he said, jokingly, as he lowered himself. The small mole turned to… look… at Kenta.

“<What is he talking about? We’ve just met!>” he said, apparently annoyed at Elm’s suggestion.

“If Professor Oak saw the potential within you… then I imagine he’d like to see you succeed, Kenta. And since you and Cyndaquil are having a good time together, then there’s probably nothing better for the two of you than to go on a journey!” While the Cyndaquil was starting to grow excited by the idea, Kenta was getting further discouraged by it.

“B-but”

“You cannot imagine how proud you would make us all, by going on an adventure, meeting new Pokémon, facing Gym Leaders, and ultimately becoming the Champion!” he announced, as if he was telling the entire world about Kenta, making the boy grow very nervous. Just as he was about to reply, however, they were interrupted by a loud noise.

The door slammed open again, and in came a young lady, about Kenta’s age, wearing a white coat jacket over a red shirt, yellow shorts, and a pair of sneakers. On top of her blue hair was a yellow and gray knit cap, although it wasn’t really visible, due to the massive pincers her hair made, which was the effort of a lot of gel and special training.

Kenta paled as he saw her hair, as most people who met her did, since it looked like it was about to bite him. The fact that she had a smile wide enough to gobble a bunch of fruits might have helped. She ran towards Prof. Elm, stars metaphorically shining in her eyes, as if she was in one of those romantic movie scenes where the male and the female are running through flowery fields to hug each other and kiss and do whatever they do in romantic movies.

However, her hopes were dashed as Elm sidestepped to the left, and thus her jump resulted in her crashing on the wall.

Elm turned towards her, apparently not noticing that he had caused her to crash on the wall. “Why, hello there, Marina! How are you today?” he asked, although it seemed to be a bit too fake. But maybe it was just Kenta’s hearing.

Anyway, Marina rose from her awkward position on the ground, and looked at the professor like he was the most amazing person on Nihiron, nodding mutely in response.

Elm, however, would have none of that. “You said that you wanted to become a Pokémon Professor just like me, right?” he asked, resulting in another nod. “Well, I have found a guide for you to help you on this task!”

Upon motioning to Kenta, the spell over her broke, the girl immediately becoming conscious of him.

“WHAT?!” she asked, surprised. “This boy is to take me around the country to help me become a professor?!”

Kenta was as stunned as her, even if he didn’t say anything, for he was interrupted by the sound of ripping tape, just as the aide got himself off the wall. Cyndaquil kept turning its head to each of them, somehow… looking… at them, standing on its hind legs.

“Well, I assumed that this would be the best option, given how I have followed Kenta’s recent progress, and I assume that he is the best option for a companion you could find,” Elm explained, in an appeasing tone. Just as Marina was about to challenge him, he raised his voice. “Are you saying that I am mistaken in my choice?”

The girl backed down, but she was not finished yet. “Well, then… if I’m going with him, then at least let me have a Pokémon!” she demanded, now out of her cheerful mood. Elm nodded patiently, before taking the sole Pokéball in the table and handing it to her. “…is this the only one left?”

“I’m very sorry… I have no other Pokémon to give you, Marina,” he explained, and she huffed quietly for a moment.

“Whatever… at least I have a Pokémon now,” she accepted, before turning towards the boy at once. “Meet me up in the exit of the city in five minutes, understood?”

There was no arguing with that voice sharp enough to cut a diamond. “Yes, ma’am!” Kenta immediately jerked into a military stance. With a ‘hmph’, she left.

Cyndaquil… looked… up from the ground towards Kenta. “<Boy, is she always that noisy?>”

Despite easing up, Kenta was still nervous from the girl’s attitude. “Um, professor, are you sure that this is the best option?” he asked Elm, concerned. “I mean, these are your Pokémon we’re keeping, and there’s that essay of yours, and… she doesn’t even seem to like me very much…”

He expected something positive, at least, but it didn’t seem to be likely at this time. “Don’t worry about the essay, Kenta; there’s still plenty of time for the Congress, and I think it will be good for these two Pokémon to experience the care of kind trainers such as the two of you.” The reverse-capped boy couldn’t help but wonder if one could call Marina ‘kind’. “As for Marina… well, she’s a good girl, but I don’t think she is prepared for life in the lab yet, or even whether that would be good for her. If she can see the world, it will be a great life experience for her. And like I said before, I trust you more than anyone else in town.”

“Yeah, I got it…” Kenta sighed. Putting the Pokéball back on his belt, he took Cyndaquil back on his arms, and looked back at Elm. “Fine… I guess I’ll be going in this quest, then. It might even not take too long, right? I mean… it’s just a journey through Johto. Why would we take longer?” he asked, half-jokingly. Before Elm could reply, he turned around. “So… where should I take her first, then?”

Elm stopped himself, thinking back on the typical travel routes of the Johto region. “I would say… you should go to Violet City first. And remember to talk to your mother before leaving, as well.” He smiled while he advised Kenta. “Don’t worry! If I discover anything about this egg, I will call you!”

“Fine, then, I guess we’re going to Violet City… see ya,” he said, before he headed off to the exit. The aide was on the way, however.

“…that poor stolen Pokémon. I hope how it is doing,” the youth said, thoughtful. “They say a Pokémon raised by a bad person turns bad itself.”

Kenta didn’t answer this comment, and then the aide took five small Pokéballs from his coat pocket, these ones without buttons. “These are used for catching Pokémon. Don’t forget to buy extras if you need.” After putting the spheres in another pocket of the backpack, he pushed the two outside the lab again.

After picking himself up, Kenta looked at Cyndaquil, who had fallen on his side and was staring at him angrily, as only a blind person could. “<Well, what are you waiting for, a Delibird? HELP ME!>” he squealed cutely, which made the scene quite awkward for Kenta.

“Um, sure,” he said, before he lowered himself and raised the small mole. He was about to put him back on the ground when he noticed Ms. Larai walking by the town, coming closer to him. A second of silence passed, both boy and Pokémon looking at her in uncertainty.

Moments later, Kenta grabbed Cyndaquil with both hands and carried him away from the lab ¬– and thus, away from the old lady who could be very insistent or irritating, at times.

They had just arrived at the boy’s house when the Pokémon kicked him in the chest hard, throwing himself to the ground. “OW! What did you do that for?!” the boy yelled, falling to the ground from the kick.

“<You IDIOT! Why would you do something so stupid?>” he complained, before the flames on his back flared up. “<If I knew you were such an idiotic idiot, I’d have set fire on your face before!>”

“You’ve gotta be kidding…” Kenta groaned, before getting up again. “Wanna stop complaining? Things are already bad enough as they are!”

“<Hah! I know they’re bad enough with an idiot like you around, idiot!>” the small mole growled, viciously. “<But you can let me take care of everything, and you can just stand there like a moron like you’re doing now!>”

Kenta didn’t know if he should slap his own face or not, after hearing that, and just sighed. “And now this… how am I supposed to take care of you for Professor Elm, if you’re gonna treat me like that?”

“<Take care of me?!>” Cyndaquil repeated, before turning his back on him. “<Get real, idiot! I don’t need your help for anything! Much less to be taken care of!>”

Kenta considered protesting more seriously, but decided on saying nothing. “Whatever… come on, let’s go inside. I still have some things to do before we leave…”
“Leave?” Fia’s voice came from inside the house, right as he walked in. His mother turned towards the door, seeing the two of them come inside. “Well, Kenta, that is a very cute Pokémon! Where did you find it?”

“Oh,” he began, just as she grabbed Cyndaquil and hugged him quite tightly. “Prof. Elm loaned it to me, you know?”

Despite being trapped like that, the little mole turned towards Kenta. “<This lady here at least knows her manners! Unlike certain people who have no clue on how to handle a Pokémon!>” he said, in an accusing tone. Despite groaning, Kenta said nothing, due to his mother’s innocent smile.

“Well, I suppose you got saddled with the best of them!” she said, all smiles. “Speaking of that, what did he want?”

Kenta sighed again. “I was supposed to go to Mr. Pokémon’s house get a discovery for him, and there I got an egg. Then Prof. Oak gave me a Pokédex, and now I have to take Marina in a journey through the region.”

“How wonderful, son!” Fia said, happy. “Now that you have a Pokémon and a Pokédex, you should have a better handicap to take part on the POKéMON LEAGUE Official Tournament!”

Kenta almost sweatdropped again. “Why does everyone think I want to do that?” he asked, annoyed. Within Fia’s arms, Cyndaquil growled quietly.

“<Nobody asked me if I want to do that, this idiot had better go do whatever it is by himself ‘cuz I don’t care.>”

Kenta fought the urge to smack that little rodent’s head, since his mother was still in the room and about 90% of the good people in the world was against mistreating Pokémon.

His mother went on, ignoring those comments. “But then, you’ll be away for so long, and thus I’ll be all alone by myself, without having anything to do here…” Just as Kenta was about to say she wouldn’t be alone or without doing anything, since it wasn’t like New Bark was that small a community, she cut in before he even started. “Oh, I know! I’ll be taking care of your money!” And, with that, she took a small card from a drawer and inserted it inside a different hole of the POKéGEAR, where it stuck. “Now a part of your money will be sent through your Pokégear to my phone! Isn’t that sweet?” Fia smiled at this point, being so kind that Kenta wondered just why he was related to her.

Cyndaquil snorted cutely, while the boy just nodded mutely. “Oh, by the way,” she remembered suddenly, holding her chin with one hand and looking up (a position that made most of the men of New Bark cry in their sleep, since they couldn’t see her doing that quite often without pain), “I have a task for you…”

Kenta blinked. “A task?”

Fia smiled sweetly, before taking a plastic box on the table and opening it, revealing a large cake cut in many slices inside. “You are to be selling slices of cake to the people you meet in your journey, and to do so while remembering to bake more while you’re in a new town! And if you don’t make at least one sale before the end of the week, you’ll be grounded once the league is over, do you hear me?”

Kenta raised an eyebrow. “What? Mom! I can’t be off selling cakes to people! They’ll think I’m a poor kid who has to make a living off food!” His mother, however, was decided.

“Well, you should have thought of it before making up stories and telling them to our neighbors.” Kenta groaned, while Cyndaquil turned his head back and forth between them as they talked. It was clearly useless to retort now.

Then Fia gave the little mole back to Kenta. “Now have fun, you two, and don’t forget to call!” she told them, before pushing them off the house. Kenta grumbled quietly to himself, before taking Cyndaquil to the town exit, where Marina was already waiting.

“You’re late!” she complained, as soon as she saw him. “Why took you so long, huh? I’ve been waiting for hours!”

“Are you sure it hasn’t been just a few minutes?” he asked, just to be glared so hard it threw him to the ground again. Cyndaquil kicked him on the arm for that.

“Hurry up! And tell me where you’ve been, too!” she demanded, set on bothering him for the rest of the trip.

Kenta muttered something under his breath, right before getting up and walking ahead. “Look, it’s not important, okay? I’m just a bit tired from earlier on.”

Marina followed him. “Tired from what? And what was that?”

Just as Kenta was about to reply again, however, a weird-looking guy stepped in between them, his eyes glazed. “Wow! You guys are Pokémon trainers, aren’t you?” he asked, in a half-monotone-half-imbecilic tone. The two sweatdropped.

“Well…”

“Of course!”

This brought apparent happiness to the weird-looking guy. “Well, you probably know how to catch Pokémon, right?” he asked, adding –half-hyperactive to the tone list. They didn’t have time to reply, however, as he seemed to get a response from staring at their bodies. “No? Not to worry! I’ll teach you!”

Turning around, he was face to face with a Sentret which had some reddish taints on the fur surrounding its mouth. “Ah-ha! Now I’ll show you how to capture a Pokémon!” he screamed for no reason, before throwing a Pokéball at the Sentret. It hit the Pokémon on the brown target in its center, making it double-back in pain, before becoming red energy and going inside the Pokéball. It started to twitch a couple of times, a red light blinking with each twitch, until it made a ‘crackle’ sound. The weird-looking guy blinked.

“What? That never happened!” he screamed loudly again, before the Pokéball exploded into two perfectly-sized halves and the Sentret came out, before jumping on top of the guy and attempt to bite his head.

It was stopped, however, when a pebble hit it straight in the target, making it fall back on the grass. Marina, who was standing defiantly, with a fire on her eyes, smirked deeper. “Hey, you! Why don’t you face someone more worthy of your time, like me?” she asked, making the three males sweatdrop as it seemed she was attempting some odd mating ritual. Cyndaquil should really pay attention, he figured.

Just at that moment, the Sentret recovered, and prepared to jump again. However, Marina had just thrown a Pokéball at that moment. Expecting another attack, the Sentret hopped away, only to find that the Pokéball wasn’t aimed at him! Partially on its flight, the Pokéball stopped and out of it came a greenish small animal that doesn’t really resemble any actual animal. On its neck there were several small pearl-shaped seeds forming a necklace, and there was a leaf growing out of its head.

Cyndaquil gasped as he somehow… saw… the creature. “<What? Leda? What are you doing here?>”

Leda turned towards Cyndaquil. “<Oh?>” she asked, before realizing who it was. “<Flammie? You’re still out of your Pokéball?>” Her smile was quite cruel, while she seemed to remember something funny. “<Still trying to become different? Come on, it won’t do you any good. No Pokémon can be better than me!>”

As she laughed without shame, Flammie, Cyndaquil’s apparent name, grumbled and growled. “<Oh, great. Why did she have to choose her? It’s already bad enough that I have to travel with an idiot who can’t even train your Pokémon correctly, but you just had to bring the most lunatic of all Pokémon that were ever born?>” he demanded, turning towards Kenta, who sweatdropped.

“Don’t ask me… Kamon took the Totodile, remember?” the reverse-capped boy explained, and the small mole Pokémon turned away from him, snout pointed upwards.

“<Hmph! Whatever… anyway, shouldn’t you be paying attention to your trainer?>” he asked Leda, who merely passed a paw over her leaf as if it was hair.

“<Nah, she can deal with this herself…>”

“Stop wasting time with that Cyndaquil and let’s fight this Sentret, Chikorita!” Marina demanded to the small green animal, who stared at her angrily. Still, she turned towards the evil Sentret, frowning.

“<Fine, fine… but I’m Leda, not Chikorita!>”

Marina smirked. “That’s the spirit! Now go off and use a Vine Whip attack!” she ordered, which made Leda turn towards her, blinking.

“<A Vine what?>” she asked, making Flammie and Kenta fall down on the ground laughing, while Marina fumed.

“What’s so funny, you two?” she asked, and Kenta began to rise, although he still was clutching his stomach.

“I… I think… I think that your Chikorita doesn’t know how to use that move…” he sputtered, trying not to reveal his true reasoning behind the laughter.

Marina bit her lip, trying not to show weakness, and snarled quietly. “Then what does she know?”

With her anger partially appeased, Kenta turned on the POKéDEX to check the move list. “Says here that the main attack she has is Tackle…” he said, and the blue-haired girl who regained her smirk.

“Fine, then. Chikorita, use Tackle on the Sentret!” she ordered, and Leda ran at her opponent, striking it hard on the chest.

“So, what is the deal between you two?” Kenta asked Flammie, who was now recovering from the laughing attack.

“<Well… we met when we were born, a while ago. The tree-headed guy who you call the Professor had been keeping us in the same incubators, and we ended up talking for a while.>”

Kenta nodded. “But that doesn’t explain why she acts so oddly…”

Flammie… stared… at him for a while, before he went on. “<It’s that thing’s fault.>”

“Huh?”

“<That cramped thing you keep shoving us into just ‘cuz we’re Pokémon. That thing does us bad if we aren’t released from time to time. And well… she spent a good while inside one of them.>”

Kenta sweatdropped. “I… see…”

Flammie had no time to continue, as Leda began laughing triumphantly. “<Ohohoho! I have finally defeated this vile beast who would have threatened your journey, Flammie! And it was a hard battle, but I have succeeded!>”

Flammie… stared… at her, an expression of ‘I’m actually half-closing my eyes right now’ in his snouted face. “<Actually, it hasn’t been fifteen minutes, and your trainer told you what to do.>”

Leda grumbled, before taking a step forward. “<Do you want a piece of me, you stupid mouse?>” she snarled, making Flammie step forward as well, defiance clearly visible on his face.

“<I’m a mole, you self-absorbed Arcanine spawn!>” While they growled at each other, the nearly-dead Sentret was about to hop on her, when Marina grabbed Kenta’s bag.

“Hey! Stop that!” he asked, but she merely opened random pockets.

“Shut up! I need a Pokéball in order to capture this Pokémon, and since I know you, as a trainer, always would have one, I am going to take one of yours and use it!” she explained, eventually finding the Pokéball in time and throwing it at the wheel/raccoon-shaped thing.

It bounced off harmlessly.

“What the – what is wrong with this stupid thing?” she demanded, as she took it on her hand – and, to her surprise, it was bigger than before. “…don’t tell me I threw a Pokéball without deactivating the shrinkage system.”

This was enough to make Kenta, Flammie, Leda, and the odd guy fall down, laughing harder than what would be deemed possible, tears coming out of their eyes.

Marina just grumbled, before throwing the Pokéball again, this time striking it, again, on the target. The Sentret cried in pain, its poor body having clearly taken all the punishment in that area thus far, and fainted while being absorbed by the Pokéball.

It didn’t even twitch, once it landed on the ground safely.

Kenta stared at it. “Um… is this normal?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. The guy shrugged.

“I dunno – nobody’s been either good or stupid enough to faint a Pokémon with the capture move before.” Marina grabbed him by the neck.

“Will you shut up already? Celebi, I have been travelling for not even an hour and I’m already angry at the random travelers! Let’s just get out of here before I get sick, Kenta!” she ordered, before dropping the guy on the ground.

Kenta sighed, and walked ahead of her. “Fine… let’s go already.” Once she saw that he didn’t even try to recall his own Pokémon, she raised an eyebrow, but she said nothing; she just pointed Leda’s Pokéball towards her.

“Chikorita, return!” she said, activating the recall system… but Leda hopped away, and turned towards her.

“<Oh, you little… can’t you see I’m far too sexy for my ball?>” she teased, making Kenta blush and Flammie snarl in anger. Marina turned towards Kenta.

“Well, what’s the deal?” she asked, ignoring the fact that Leda had begun to sing some freaky song about her Pokéball, in a funky tune, because she couldn’t understand Pokémon.

Kenta sweatdropped. “Er… she doesn’t like her Pokéball, I guess. That can happen with many Pokémon.”

Marina closed her eyes, and sighed. “Great… so how am I supposed to bring her?” she asked, making the capped boy pretend to be thoughtful.

“Well… you could either let her walk with you, or you could carry her. Whatever you choose.” Marina nodded, then looked at Leda.

“Hey, Chikorita! You’d better follow me, or no dinner to you!” she alerted, before walking ahead, followed by a Chikorita with plenty of need for food.

“<Hey, idiot!>” Flammie called to Kenta, who was beginning to follow them. Kenta blinked.

“What is it?” he asked, wondering how he got his Pokémon – Prof. Elm’s, he reminded himself – to dislike him so badly. Flammie walked closer to him.

“<Why is it that your alpha female is so lacking, when compared to that nice lady who gave us food?>” he asked, which made Kenta blink for an instant, before deciphering the sentences.

“…what?” he sweatdropped, his eye twitching, and the urge to just throttle that stupid Cyndaquil already and drop him in the closest river growing.

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[H-Man]

Pokémon Johto - The Funne Version!!!

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Chapteur Le Fourth
—The Journey Starts! Road to Violet City!—

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A few minutes had passed since we last left our wandering wondering heroes, and they had reached Cherrygrove already. Currently, they were at the PokéMart, while they waited for Marina’s Pokémon to be healed.

“So, what will it be?” asked the cheerful assistant, surprising Kenta. Marina pointed at the Pokéball aisle.

“Why aren’t there any Greatballs or Ultraballs here, sir?” she asked, and the assistant raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, I’m sorry, miss, but we don’t sell those here.”

The kids blinked. “What do you mean, ‘we don’t sell’? What if someone who uses them desperately needed one and came to your store? What would you do?” she asked, finding that disparage stupid.

The assistant shrugged. “Only people from New Bark come here, so we don’t sell the most advanced Pokéballs to them. They’re pretty broke, you know.”

“Fine, whatever…” Sweatdropping, Marina showed him her purchase, “five Pokéballs, please.”

With a nod, the man took out a CredCom, a small computerized device that served as a money trader between the people of Nihiron. He connected a POKéDEX Marina gave him to the CredCom, and soon the transaction was made. As soon as it was done, he gave her the POKéDEX back, and Marina gave it to Kenta.

“Thanks for the help!” she said with a wink, before walking outside, putting the Pokéballs inside her backpack. Kenta blinked.

“Hey, wait!” he called, as he followed her back to the PokéCenter. “Why did you use my money?! It’s not yours to use!”

Marina dismissed him with her hand. “Oh, you know, it’s your duty as my guide during this journey to pay for my expenses, right?” Kenta shook his head, while she had a tad odd smile.

“I’m here to take you across the region, not to pay for you! Don’t even think of using my money again, you hear me?” Amanda seemed confused at first, even at his frown, before recovering.

“Whatever… still, don’t complain, okay? You’re the one who said I should have my own Pokéballs.”

“So you wouldn’t use mine! I don’t want you using my stuff without asking!”

Marina smirked. “So, if I ask you, you’ll let me use your stuff?”

Kenta shook his head. “No! You’re too annoying! I’m not letting you touch my things either way!”

The blue-haired girl grew sad, pouting right after. “Meanie! Just wait until I tell Prof. Elm, once we return!”

While she walked ahead, towards the PokéCenter, Kenta stopped for a moment, looking at the side. “That is, if we return…”

Inside the PokéCenter, Flammie and Leda were waiting on the counter, in front of a pink-haired nurse and an equally pink, big egg-shaped Pokémon with a big smile. “Welcome!” the nurse told them, smiling like her.

“Are my Pokémon healed, Nurse Joy?” Marina asked, despite the fact that it was somewhat obvious Leda was a lot better, and the nurse nodded.

“Oh, yes, they are, miss! Here you go,” she told Marina, just as the big pink egg gave her a Pokéball.

“<Please get that Chikorita away! She’s scaring us all with her singing!>” she said in a sweet voice from years of practice, making Leda smirk and begin singing again.

“<Hey, idiot, mind telling me when’s the next time I get to beat something up? This wait’s getting on my nerves!” Flammie complained, getting more annoyed when Kenta sweatdropped at his attitude. “<And stop doing that, or I’m going to set your face on fire, got it?>”

The boy nodded. “Fine, fine… let’s get going already, then, shall we?” he asked, before picking up Flammie, while Marina picked Leda up.

“Yes, let’s go! I can’t wait to see what is our next location!” she replied, before adding in a small and quiet voice, “so that I can return to meet Professor Elm and watch him while he sleeps and love him forever and ever and ever…”

Kenta stared at her, unamused, while she glared after a few moments. “What? Is there something on my face?” she asked, angrily. “Now answer me!”

Leda chose this moment to talk. “<He thinks you are a weird moron, woman! Now get to brushing my fur, I’m in need of care! Chop chop!>” she requested. Her trainer didn’t hear her, too busy as she was at staring at her companion, who chose to sigh and walk away, earning another kick to his arm.

“Let’s just go on before nighttime comes, okay?” he asked, annoyed. Marina grumbled, but accepted it, taking point. Kenta was about to complain, when he realized that she was too angry to pay attention to him.

And so, we introduce the newest feature to this story…

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…the divisory between parts.

Now that that’s over with, we are watching Kenta and Marina and their Pokémon head to Route 31, but since they just got on Route 30, it’ll take a while.

As they finally reached the crossroads leading to the next city and Mr. Pokémon’s house, Marina glared at her companion. “Well? Which way now, genius leader?” she asked cynically, making his eyebrow twitch annoyedly. She either didn’t notice or laughed on the inside, but it didn’t matter, for another kid came up.

“Excuse me, but are you looking for Violet City?” the familiar-looking kid asked, to which Kenta nodded, before Marina said anything stupid. “Well, head through the left path, and you’ll get there!”

Marina was just about to walk ahead of him once more, when suddenly a capped boy came up, holding a Pokéball in his hand. “Hey, you! The boy with the stupid cap!” he called, and Kenta stared at him aghast, before fuming.

“Stupid?! Who do you think you are, you have a stupider cap than mine!” he replied, and the capped boy snarled.

“Do not!”

“Do too!”

“Do not!”

“Do too!”

“Do not!”

“Do too!”

“Do not!”

“Do too!”

“Do not!”

“Do too!”

“Do not!”

“Do too!”

“SHUT UP!” Marina eventually screamed, before glaring at the capped brat. “Now what do you want, you… youngster, you?”

The Youngster took a step back, frightened, before recovering his pose. “You look quite weak! Let’s battle!” he stated, before throwing his Pokéball at the air, and out came a Rattata.

Kenta sweatdropped. “That’s the… OW!” he cried, in pain, as Flammie kicked his arm again, before jumping off him and onto the ground.

“<Shut up, idiot, and pay attention! I’ll kick this rat’s can in three seconds flat!>” he taunted, his flames erupting high, and the Rattata gulped. At that moment, Kenta’s Pokédex beeped.

“Rattata, the Rat Pokémon. Height is 0.3m, weight is 3.5kg. Gender is male. A very hungry Pokémon that can eat anything and live anywhere. Not only does it find food very quickly, but it also multiplies very quickly.” Marina stared at the source of the sound, surprised, while Kenta was completely focused on the battle.

“Rattata! Use Tackle!” the Youngster ordered, and the Pokémon ran ahead, trying to tackle Flammie. Kenta thought fast.

“Flammie! Jump over it and counter the move yourself!” he commanded, and Flammie did what he had just said… but instead of smashing with his entire body, he just kicked the Pokémon away.

Marina blinked. “Kenta, didn’t you tell it to Tackle back? Why did it just kick the Rattata away?” she asked, but Kenta didn’t reply. Flammie just smirked, before jumping on top of the rat and smacking its head. “And you didn’t order that either… what’s going on?”

Kenta seemed to be deep in thought, and right when Flammie seemed to be about to attack again, he gave another order. “Flammie, jump away and in front of him!”

The little mole Pokémon looked at him, aghast. “<What?! But I’m winning, you moron!>” he countered, angrily. Kenta snarled, barely holding himself.

“Do what I’m telling you! Trust me!” he replied, and his Pokémon grumbled, before doing a backflip, and right below him the Rattata attempted to headbutt the ground, hoping to squash his opponent. All that got it was a headache when it smacked itself on the head.

Flammie was surprised for a sec, before smirking viciously; just before Kenta could give it any command, he ran at the Rattata in a full charge, before smashing its body against it, knocking it out.

The Youngster gasped, in surprise. “Y-y-you… you won! How could this happen?!” he cried out, while Kenta merely walked towards Flammie and picked him up, the flames dying out.

“I simply was smarter than you. Try using some real strategy, next time, okay?” he told him, trying to look humble despite that, and the young boy nodded, before noticing he had a POKéGEAR.

“Hey, is that a PokéGear?” he asked, and Kenta blinked, before nodding. “Wow, that’s great! Let’s trade numbers, man!”

His mood change was surprising, but the boy smiled and showed off his own POKéGEAR, a yellow and grey one. “You’re not a weakling, man, and I respect that! So now I must get stronger to beat my #1 rival!”

It was pretty clear just who this ‘#1 rival’ was likely to be, and Kenta sweatdropped. “Um… sure, I guess…”

After a boring procedure that took a few minutes, Kenta and Marina began to head away, the girl a bit angry at the fact that she had been part of the background for most of the battle.

“Why couldn’t you let me fight him? I could have handled him easily!” she complained, making Kenta wonder for the eleventh time that day why did he still travel with her.

‘Oh, yeah, Prof. Elm asked me to go with her… how annoying,’ he thought to himself, bored. Still, they were finally getting somewhere…

“Hold it right there!” screamed someone ahead of them, and Kenta felt like screaming, when he saw another Youngster appearing. “Our eyes locked, so we must battle!”

Marina grinned, however, and took a step forward. “Fine! We’ll battle!” she declared, taking out her only other active Pokéball and showing it at her opponent with a smile. “Now what will you choose? A one-on-one, or a two-on-two?”

The Youngster took out one of his own Pokéballs, as well. “Pfeh. I’ll just need one Pokémon to beat you!” he taunted, before smirking. “After all, a weak girl like you probably don’t have any strong Pokémon, right?”

She paused for one second, stunned, before grumbling in anger. “Did you just call me ‘weak’?” she asked, before throwing her Pokéball hard enough to hit the Youngster in the head.

“Ow! That hurt, you” he snarled, but stopped as her glare made him shiver in place. “Um… nevermind. Let’s just get on with it…”

From out of the two Pokéballs came their Pokémon, Marina’s Sentret on their side and a Rattata on the other. “Okay, it’s time to battle!” she said, making a cool pose, before realizing she was not really made for such poses, as the frown the Youngster had turned into a lecherous drool which resulted in another Pokéball to his head. “Stop drooling, you pervert!”

He winced and rubbed his injured head, before glaring at her. “Fine… Rattata! Tackle that Sentret!” he demanded, and the rat Pokémon snarled, before hopping ahead, attempting to smack against the other rat Pokémon.

“Sentret! Stop him with your own Tackle!” she commanded, and the Sentret grunted, before the two Pokémon smashed their heads against each other, flying back and wincing. “Now… do it again!” she added, only to make him despair, as he had no idea just why he was being forced to obey those commands.

Still, compulsion to obey overcame sheer self-preservation, and he ran once more at the Rattata, before smashing its shoulder on it. The rat Pokémon squealed, before falling down, knocked out.

Marina beamed. “All right!” she cheered, as she hopped onto the air, before twirling in one foot. The Sentret grinned, as he was about to hop onto the now delicious morsel, but Marina grabbed him and began hugging it tightly, forcing the air out of its small lungs. “Thank you thank you thank you! Without your help, I’d never have done it!”

Although she complimented him, the Sentret was still squirming out of her grasp. “<Help me! Save me! That thing is gonna eat me! I’m too young to die!!!>” the Pokémon panicked, rambling stupidly, while Leda and the others approached them; the Chikorita was smirking evilly.

“<Yeah! She’s gonna eat you, unless you cooperate with us! Now show us where you hid your food, or it’s down her throat that you’re going!>” she threatened, enjoying the power she held over him, and making the two males in the group sweatdrop. For once Kenta wasn’t kicked.

“Ignore her…” he told the Sentret, before looking at his companion, scratching the back of his neck. “Marina, I think you’re suffocating that thing…”

She needed a few seconds to realize how tight her grip was, and soon the Sentret was free. “Oh! Sorry! I was just so excited, what with winning my first battle and all…” While she apologized, the Sentret ran towards Kenta and wrapped around his leg, terrified.

“<Please stay away from that! It’s gonna bite you with the pincers and devour you whole! I barely survived the attack, you won’t manage it!>” he exaggerated, making Leda smile even more evilly and approach him. “<No! No! I’ll tell you! Just don’t hurt me!!!>”

Seeing that scene, Marina realized the Sentret was probably afraid of Leda due to the previous defeat, and reacted in a very rational manner. “CHIKORITA! You bad girl! You are scaring your new friend! Apologize now!” she ordered, angrily, and Leda turned to face her.

“<Humans… gah. Can’t you tell her to stop calling me that and use my real name?>” she asked, and Kenta just shrugged and walked towards Marina, making the Sentret wince in fright.

“Um… could you please help me?” he asked, and she nodded before using her Pokéball to recall the Pokémon. The Sentret squealed, but was absorbed by the beam of light and taken away. After she pocketed the Pokéball, they began walking away from the wailing Youngster, ignoring as he complained about losing to a girl, especially after said girl had just beaten him up to a pulp.

Of course, not even the power of script could save them from the troubles that would soon follow them…

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“I’m bored! Are we there yet?” Marina asked, even as they passed by a sneezing girl, who was such a small midget she couldn’t look above the slightly tall grass that spread over most of the area for some reason.

“No…” Kenta admitted, somewhat unhappy, “we still have to get to Violet City before the night comes. However far away that is.”

Marina conked him on the head. “Hello? Who’s got the PokéGear here? Me or you?” she asked, and he rubbed his head, annoyed. “And can we just get on already, then? You’re the one who has to take me there!”

Kenta glared at her, as he checked on his own watch. “Late… afternoon will be gone soon, I guess. And we aren’t any close, yet…” he replied, and she shrugged.

“Okay, then… hey, look, there’s some kid wearing a funny hat! I’m off to battle against him!” she said, even as she ran off to do battle, leaving him behind. Kenta began following, but he stopped, as Leda seemed to be sniffing the ground, curious.

“What is it?” he asked, and she motioned towards a nearby trunk.

“<I think there’s something behind that, human. Would you go over there and check? I’d do it, but I have much more to do than to examine a mean ole trunk,>” she replied, making Kenta almost sweatdrop before he remembered Flammie was kicking him whenever that happened.

“Fine, fine… just go help your trainer, will you?” he asked, and she nodded, even as he began to walk towards it. Once they were close enough, he released Flammie from his grasp, trying to feel inside with his hand.

Were his eyes open, the Cyndaquil might have done the motion to raise an eyebrow right then. “<What are you doing?>” he asked, and Kenta just shushed him. “<No, seriously, what are you doing?! Do I need to repeat myself again? If I do, I’m gonna tackle you down, you moron!>”

“Would you be quiet?” Kenta glared at him. “I’m trying to figure out what’s in this trunk. I think there’s something stuck in here or something, I mean… it does feel like you guys.”

Flammie was about to ask another question, when something shook the trunk. They looked at it, surprised, even as Kenta tried to check further inside. “I think I found it… okay… it’s something soft and round, and it’s got a few more round things… And now it has some…” While Kenta was narrating, Flammie grew nervous, even more when the boy hesitated for a few seconds. “…but… what could these be?”

“<Toki?>” was the muffled sound they heard, before another and louder noise. “<TOKI!>”

And then everyone heard a very loud CHOMP.

Kenta’s eyes bugged out and he had to bite his lip, while he tried to pull his hand off the trunk, not quite managing to do so well. “<What’s wrong? What happened?>” Flammie asked, as he watched the boy struggle to pull the trunk off his hand, using his other hand and both feet to do so.

“Something… pulling… back… it… hurts… AAAAGH!” he screamed, as he finally pulled his hand off the trunk, falling a few feet backwards. He panted, while getting up, still wincing; his hand still hurt. Looking at it, he could barely suppress the next scream. “…what the?!”

On his right hand, almost like a vise, a small yellow Pokémon with a flat body, white eyes with a blue outline, blue and white stripes on its back, small wings that seemed to be too small for its body, and some sort of conical drill as a tail. Of course, none of that mattered much for Kenta at the moment, as his hand had been bitten by the Pokémon, who had surprisingly managed to open its mouth wide enough for the hand to fit.

“<Tchoki?>” it asked, muffled, making Kenta shiver… before he began to shake his arm derangedly, trying to get it off.

“GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF!!!” he screamed, as he tried to force the Pokémon off his hand as much as he could, although its mouth was still clamped tightly around his hand, and wasn’t budging any easily. Flammie watched, amusedly, as Kenta was pulling it by the tail, then trying to smash it against a random tree, then trying to use him as a heater

Wait, what?

“<WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!>” he asked, as he was suddenly raised onto the air, his flames lighting up instantly. Kenta squirmed, as he tried to make the Pokémon contact each other so that Flammie could hurt the strange snaky thing.

“I’m trying to save my hand here!” he replied, before the Pokémon squealed in pain, finally having been hit by the flames from the Cyndaquil’s back, and released its clamp on Kenta’s hand, falling to the ground painfully. A second look at his hand, and Kenta could see that although it had been bitten hard, it wasn’t hard enough for him to be bleeding… well… for more than a few minutes. “What the…?”

The POKéDEX came out, aimed it at the Pokémon.

“Dunsparce, the Land Snake Pokémon. Height is 1.50m, weight is 14.0kg. Gender is female. This Pokémon tends to hide deep inside caves where no light comes in, and remains virtually motionless in it. If spotted, it will attempt to escape backwards by furiously burrowing into the ground with its tail. With its small wings, it can float just slightly off the ground.” Kenta blinked, as he watched the writhing Pokémon down on the ground.

“That thing didn’t burrow into the ground once I touched it… I wonder why.” Before he could continue his exploring, however, he realized something. “Ah! Marina’s ahead of us! C’mon, Flammie, let’s hurry up before she gets angry!”

Flammie just began running ahead, not even looking back at his trainer, as they abandoned the Dunsparce, not caring if they’d ever meet it again.

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A short time later, after luckily following the correct path through the route, they came across an irate Marina and a glaring Leda, who were near some dark and scary cavern that seemed to be calling them.

“What took you so long?! I was almost going ahead to the town, if you two hadn’t come up already!” she complained, and Kenta just sighed.

“We were sidetracked. Sorry. So… what’s with the cave?” he asked, trying to stop her from getting more nervous, and hopefully get them to go to the city sooner. She looked at it, and shrugged.

“I dunno. I never came so far alone… and there’s the fact that it’s darker than anything else around. But is it really important? Can’t we just go on to the next town already?” she asked, and Kenta just nodded and began leading the way again, as they walked away from the cave. He decided to bring the conversation onto a topic he wouldn’t be too disappointed with.

“Okay, then… how was the match?” he asked, and almost immediately regretted it, as both girls began talking excitedly at once.

“Oh! That was a pretty easy battle, all right. The little twerp sent out a Weedle, and I–”

“<-a huge monster the size of a city with a horn even larger appeared in front of me! The girl was scared, but I had absolutely no fear in my body, as I stood in front of it, despite the horrifying roar it gave->”

“-the Weedle tried to Tackle, but Chikorita just avoided, and following my perfectly given order, she smashed her body against it, dealing severe damage! Then, after a failed attempt at a Poison Sting, she–”

“<-that creature rammed on the ground with its paws, but I screamed ‘NO WAY, SLOWPOKE!’, and fired a lot of poisonous spikes on the ground, which stabbed on its legs, killing it! Then I decided to add insult to injury and beat it up more and more! But, right then, a new monster appeared->”

“-a Caterpie was released! It used String Shot, sending a blur of white string-ish things at her legs, forcing her down. But then, after I told her to bite it out, she obeyed me and released herself, before tackling it, and knocking it out in one hit!”

The more the two girls spoke, commenting on their own versions of the battle, the bigger the crescently growing sweatdrops in the heads of both males (a reason why Flammie hadn’t kicked him yet) became, as they couldn’t help but wonder just how deranged either one was.

“So, what did you think?” Marina asked, eventually, and Kenta had to rub the back of his head with one hand, trying to ignore his ominous feeling of doom.

“Well… um…” he tried to say, but then another midget appeared in front of him, standing on stilts.

“Challenge me, you ugly-capped little man!” she taunted, making the mentioned boy frown.

“Take that back, you height-handicapped, overshrunk midgety… midget!” he snapped back, making everyone in the area sweatdrop, including the two sweet and innocent-looking evil and hideous arachnid Pokémon that nobody cares about.

“…that’s a pretty crappy pun, you stupidly dumb moron!” the midget complained, and Kenta just groaned.

“Fine, whatever… Flammie, let’s go!” he replied, and his opponent picked up a Pokéball of her own, ready to release the Pokémon inside it.



However, this time, we shall see things from Marina’s Point-of-View™, which means that now we pay more attention to her than to him, and unfortunately for him, she’s already walking ahead, as she is rather annoyed at the excessive displays of male stubbornness, despite the fact that the midget is a girl and that she has such displays, if not more, although those are of a class that she believes to be different from theirs.

“What a bunch of idiots!” she summarized, looking at Leda. “Don’t you think so too, Chikorita?” Her Pokémon seemed to frown, before speaking something in her language that sounded completely regular and average and not at all irritated with something. Nope. Completely regular and average, indeed.

“Jeez… you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but you could at least say something, you know?” she asked, and Leda turned to her like any average Pokémon would, therefore meaning she had the exact same bland look as usual.

Finally, just as she was about to interject again uselessly, a Caterpie came flying at her head, avoiding her hair barely, but moving too fast for her eyes to follow. So, she ended up getting a dozen boots to the head at once, crashing to the ground in a weird manner, limbs spread in a mess.

“Um… you okay?” Kenta asked, sweatdropping, as he tried to not pay attention to Marina’s position, unlike his opponent. The mutant-haired girl got up, rubbing her head, and picked up the fainted Pokémon behind her, before spinning it fast.

“OKAY? HOW’S THIS FOR OKAY?!” she asked, irate, before throwing the Caterpie straight ahead, avoiding him by a few inches and colliding against the midget girl, who fell to the ground painfully. “Can we just go on and not get stuck again?” she added, with a look that would have made even Ms. Maple turn around and not tell something inane to someone.

“…um… I guess so…” he replied, but then the midget raised a POKéGEAR, in despair, and groaned.

“Um… please let’s trade phone numbers… before I grow unconscious…”

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After this rather inane segment, the two dual-gendered duos began heading towards the remaining path once more, as they could see, in the close distance, the buildings of Violet City standing atop themselves.

“So… we’re pretty close now, huh?” Marina commented, as they passed by some guy who was snoring loudly, while he sleeppracticed his circus tricks like washing fire and breathing swords and bathing in chains.

Kenta just shrugged, picking up a berry from the nearby tree as usual. “I guess. Still, how long do you think we’re going to take there?”

Marina put a hand to her chin, thoughtful. “To be honest, I dunno. Aren’t you going to challenge the Gym Leader?”

That answer made him shiver unconsciously, even if he didn’t really show his distress. “I was just wondering if there’s anything else to do there, that’s all.”

Marina stared at him like if he was a complete moron. “Aren’t you my guide? You ought to know that!” she complained, making him flinch so hard Flammie kick his arm once more.

“…” was his extremely well-thought and prepared answer, made in the course of a second. Just as he was going to follow it up with another, however, they had come close enough to the town entrance to see something quite strange.

The doors were wide open. The young man behind the counter, probably there to greet visitors, seemed to be unconscious, while a scared and frightened girl wasn’t too far from him.

“What… what just happened here?” Marina nearly yelled, as they ran over there. Kenta watched the room for a few seconds, quite worried, until he realized Flammie seemed to be smelling something.

“…what are you smelling, Flammie?” he asked, rather quietly.

“<It’s that Totodile from before… I’m sure I’m smelling him here!>” the Cyndaquil declared, before leaping off his arms. “<I’m positive!>”

“W-what?!” Kenta let out, just as Flammie started to run away. The boy had just begun to follow him when Marina noticed that, seeing both run away as fast as they could.

“What the-hey, wait for me!” Marina requested, following them as well as she could, Leda tracking behind.

And, meters in the distance, a shape moved.

“<Toki?>”

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[H-Man]

Pokémon Johto - The Funne Version!!!

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Chapteur Le Fifth
—Arrival At Last! Sprout Tower, Here We Go!—
–Part One–

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“Wait up!”

With these words, Marina was chasing after Kenta, their Pokémon running along with their trainers, both groups having already made their way into Violet City. The random people nearby ignored the kids and their Pokémon, as they were too busy doing nothing to actually do anything. After all, one of the highest-paying jobs in the world consisted in giving information to people.

Hey, it beat having to pay the television companies for doing the same thing, plus it opened up space for advertisement and international information.

Despite their rush, however, the quartet was caught by surprise by the loud music blaring from the nearest loudspeaker, and they ended up tripping on each other and falling in a pile. The only one who didn’t fall was Leda, because she was touching the ground already, but Flammie was not only fell on his back but was squashed by both humans as well, so he couldn’t bring the horribly burning pain of death upon them.

Not like he could do it yet; he still had no control over his flames bar the ‘heat up your back’ part. Still, just you wait, humans! One day he’d be able to use the horribly burning pain of death, and they’d all suffer upon his grasp!

First though, he needed to BREATHE…

When the humans got up, he would attempt to try the horribly burning pain of death, but Kenta had already grabbed him and pulled him away once more, running towards the shadow in the distance where the outline of Kamon was barely visible in the night sky.

“Kenta!” Marina called for her friend, but her attempt to pursue was interrupted when she tripped on Leda, who had gone forward to try and catch up. She barely saw him turn to the right, before losing him completely. “Great, just great!”

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Kenta was running towards where he had last seen Kamon, but he could no longer find him. Looking around didn’t help much, but he could see this part of town wasn’t so big, and if he tried to look for him then surely he would

“<Hey, idiot!>” Flammie called from his arms, bringing him back to reality. “<Stop thinking so much about other stuff and look here!>”

“What is it, Flammie?” he asked, looking towards his Pokémon. “I’m trying to find Kamon and take him back to New Bark!”

The Cyndaquil… stared… at his face, in mock interest. “<Your arm is beeping,>” he simply said, and as Kenta looked towards his left arm, he noticed that, indeed, his POKéGEAR was beeping, as if receiving a call.

Rapidly releasing Flammie, who fell on all fours and flared up on instinct, he activated the cell mode and pulled his wrist close to his head. “Hello?”

“Oh, hi, Kenta!” said a cheerfully familiar voice. “I was just calling to know how you’ve been, son. Did anything interesting today?”

“Ah, it’s you, mom,” he answered, already picturing the comfort of her home while he was traveling like this. Keeping a sigh in, he tried to keep his voice cheerful too. “Thanks for calling me. And no, nothing happened yet… I just got to Violet City, and am trying to get to the nearest Pokémon Center to pack up for the night. What about you?”

Despite the last question being rather dismissive in tone, she didn’t seem to notice. “Oh, you know how that is… I spend most of my time cleaning up, making food for myself from now on, taking a few jogs in the park… as I always did, you know?” Her answer reminded Kenta of the typical reactions of the males who watched her jog. It was to laugh at. “Ah, yes, I was just remembering! Did you make any sales yet?”

The boy sweatdropped. How could he tell her that he hadn’t even bothered about that, if he wanted her to forget about it? “Actually, not really… we didn’t find anyone to sell cakes to, here, so I’m still keeping those. But… maybe there’s someone nearby who wants cake in these parts…”

She pouted. “Aww, that’s too bad. But you know, isn’t Violet City the location of the Sprout Tower?”

Kenta blinked in surprise. “Sprout Tower?” he repeated.

“You know, that large tower that is guarded by various monks? The ones that come to New Bark every New Year to collect donations for the upkeep of the Sprout Pillar?” she explained, and Kenta snapped the fingers of his free hand uponrealizing it.

“Oh, right! Guess I’m gonna show that to Marina once we can. See ya, mom!” he told her, ready to finish the call now.

“Bye, Kenta! Stay healthy and have fun in your journey! Click!” she said, making a sound similar to ending the call herself, before it shut down. Letting his arm loose, he stared at the POKéGEAR for a few seconds, before sighing loudly.

“I guess I should sell those things already, before she calls me again… it’s gonna suck if she calls and nothing’s changed,” Kenta said to himself, before looking around. “Now where did Marina go…”

“<Hey, idiot!>” Flammie interrupted, pointing towards the distance with a paw, before climbing onto Kenta’s body. “<The manly girl! She went towards a rather tall building on that side, and I think she’s going inside it!>”

Kenta looked in that direction, noticing what exactly was there. “The Sprout Tower…” he whispered, with a frown, before running towards the tower. He was so focused on that that Marina barely turned the corner before she lost him again, bringing forth a whole horde of insults about his mistreatment of her person.

“KENTA! YOU HAD BETTER HAVE AN EXCUSE FOR RUNNING LIKE THAT, YOU WIMP OF A TRAINER! IF YOU CONTINUE RUNNING I’M GOING TO BRING YOU SO MUCH PAIN WHEN I GET YOU, YOU WON’T HAVE A WAY TO RECOVER FROM THAT WITHOUT HELP! YOU HEARD ME! YOU’LL BE IN SO MUCH PAIN EVEN YOUR PAIN WILL HURT! NOW STOP RUNNING AND GET BACK HERE OR I’M GOING TO MAKE YOU REGRET EVERY SINGLE BAD THING YOU’VE DONE TO ME FOR THE PAST TWELVE YEARS! ALL OF THEM! ESPECIALLY THAT ONE FROM FIVE YEARS AGO! SO GET HERE ALREADY!”

Okay, maybe he had a second reason for outrunning her, but she was still being quite reasonable.

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Skidding to a halt, Kenta finally arrived at the entrance to the large tower. Flammie hugged his shoulder tighter, trying to not be flung away from him by the motion, before… looking… at the tower itself, just like the boy.

That tower was rather tall, decrepit and very old-looking, reaching quite high along the sky. There were intricate designs of a strange Pokémon with a peculiar-shaped head, similar to a cup, and a very thin body the width of Kenta’s finger. Against the dark sky and bright streetlights, it was looking like an orange, green, and brown mixture that made little sense and hurt his eyes, and it also looked really ugly too.

Flammie turned towards Kenta. “<Why does this place look so planty?>” he asked, making the boy grab his forehead, nervous.

“I have no idea, Flammie… but are you sure Kamon went here? I mean… he sure doesn’t seem to have any reason to be here.” Flammie… glared… at him.

“<Is that a crack? I saw him come here with my own two eyes, which are way more developed than your eyes, idiot! Why are you doubting me?>”

Kenta rolled his eyes. “Whatever… let’s just see if you’re right, then.”

When he ran inside, Kenta had to close his eyes from the sudden clarity of the tower’s inside, but after getting used to that he looked around, in awe. Although it was painted mostly in the same tone of orange that the outside had, the more prominent characteristics were the wooden floor, so uncommon for the locations, the countless images of the same Pokémon pictured on the outside, sticking to the walls, and the large, shaking pillar on the center. Nearby, several baldheaded monks were lying on the ground, their heads bowed down, and praying to something.

They stared at those monks with weirded out expressions, until they heard a weird sound in front of them. Looking in that direction revealed a black shadow running up the stairs that led to the next floor.

“What the” he whispered, before running after the shadow. “Hey, come back here!”

Almost as if immediately, the monks all stopped their prayers and turned towards him. For some reason, their eyes were still closed. “An intruder? Here?” one of them asked.

“Does he want to go through the Fighting Test?” asked another, and a third one turned towards the others.

“But it’s already happening! We cannot allow him to continue further!” he told them, before taking a bell from inside his vests. He then rang it three times, letting it echo. He had just taken it back inside when Marina ran inside the tower, putting her arm against the wall.

“Pant, pant, pant…” she panted, exhausted. “That Kenta! Why did he have to run so fast? I can’t believe I missed him!” By her side, Leda simply stood, apparently too tired to follow her. While her walk was rather awkward, she didn’t seem too annoyed by it.

“Halt!” one of the monks said, making her look at them. “Nobody is allowed to head further! Turn around and leave this place!”

Eyebrow raised, Marina grew defensive. “Excuse me? I’m looking for my guide, who entered this place. Now where is he?”

Another monk stepped ahead. “We know of no one named ‘Guide’! The tower is currently off-limits to any and all outsiders, and you must step away and leave now, or we shall force you to do so!” he ordered, making Marina frown. Meanwhile, the other monks were taking up Pokéballs from inside their robes.

“Fine, then. If you want me to leave so much, then force me! It’s battle time!” she said, before grinning. Meanwhile, Leda stared at her like common Pokémon do.

“Well, then, come out, Sproutling!” one of the monks said, throwing his Pokéball. The battle was on.

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At the same time, Kenta was already on the upper floor, seeing one of the monks spinning rapidly in place. The whole thing looked quite weird, and he was ready to run by his side when the monk stopped all of a sudden.

“Halt, intruder!” the Sage said, pointing a finger right at his nose. “I am here to stop you from proceeding in your path of ruin, by stalling you in the same manner that a Bellsprout weathers the strong wind by rooting its fragile body to the ground!”

Kenta needed a few seconds to try and process that. “A what?”

Rather than answer, the Sage threw a Pokéball towards him, releasing his Pokémon. It was something that looked like the Pokémon portrayed on the side of the tower, only it had a yellow head, a clearly stupid face, and green leaves. It hobbled dangerously, as if the only thing that could sustain it was close to removal. Once more, Kenta’s POKéDEX flared to life. “Bellsprout, the Flower Pokémon. Height is 0.7m, weight is 4kg. Gender is male. Despite being extremely skinny, when this Pokémon is catching its prey, it is incredibly fast. Flings its vine at any moving thing it noticed. To replenish water, it plants its feet deep underground, unable to escape its enemy in this state.”

Flammie laughed. “<Hahahahaha! That Pokémon looks stupid and wimpy! I’m gonna beat it in one strike, I bet!>” Kenta stared at him, surprised.

“Um, are you sure that you’re alright? You’re usually not that cheerful about fighting a Pokémon…” he whispered, and the Cyndaquil made a motion similar to waving it off.

“<Bah, it’s okay! I’m going to beat it easily, you just stay there and act like a background object! It’s my turn to shine!>” he said, before hopping off him and onto the ground.

“Whatever,” Kenta replied, before deciding to focus on the battle.

“Sprouter, Vine Whip!” the Sage ordered, and the wobbling Pokémon reared its stupidly large head back, before turning it forward. A long, brown vine flew from it, heading straight at Flammie.

“Jump over it!” Kenta told his Pokémon, who did a lazy hop, clearing the vine without much problem.

“<Didn’t I tell you to shut up and let me win?>” he replied, before picking up on speed. “<Now it’s my turn!>”

“Tackle him!” Kenta added, regardless, trying to not let his Pokémon’s lack of obedience be noticed by the Sage.

Flammie ran at full speed towards the Pokémon, he got on two feet and entered the same tackling stance as usual, ready to smash against the sprout Pokémon… but, to his surprise, he missed the Pokémon, very small as it was, despite it making no attempt at avoiding him at all! The Cyndaquil was left on one foot, hopping awkwardly, while the Bellsprout stared at him with its retarded eyes.

“<What the->” he said, in surprise, before the Sage gave his own command.

“Now, Sprouter, use Vine Whip again!” With that, the Bellsprout did its same funky motion, before slapping him silly – all the way to the nearest wall.

Flammie squealed in pain, as he collided against the wall with a painful thud.

Kenta stared at him, horrorized. “That… that’s not good…” he gulped, looking back at the Bellsprout. “If that Pokémon can avoid damage by not moving, then what will we do?”

A few seconds later, Flammie had extricated himself from the wall, shaking his head in anger. “<Why, you overgrown bud… you’re going to get it now!>” he snarled, before running at Sprouter and trying another Tackle. Seeing that, the Sage laughed.

“Oh, victory is so sweet when it’s in your grasp! Vine Whip that Cyndaquil again, Sprouter!” he ordered, and once more, Flammie missed his target, and was flung away by a rapid strike of the vines.

“<Generic laughter track,>” the Bellsprout simply said, watching his opponent skid on the ground, painfully, until he finally stopped by the wall.

Kenta turned towards the small mole Pokémon, already nervous by the way the battle was going. ‘That weird Bellsprout seems to have no problems evading Flammie’s attacks… at least, because they’re normal attacks. If only I had a way for Flammie to use his flames…!’ He stopped thinking for a moment; his gaze rested on the flames at the Cyndaquil’s back. ‘Wait… that’s it!’

Flammie had just gotten back up when the boy spoke to him. “Flammie, when you attack again, curl yourself into a ball once you get close enough!”

The Cyndaquil stood still for a few seconds, as he… stared… at him like before. “<WHAT?! But I can’t see if I’m a ball! I’m going to miss again! At least, if I run like normal, I’ll be able to hit him!>”

Kenta slapped his own face. “Yeah right… you’re gonna hit him. Sure I believe you.” Slowly, his hand closed into a fist. “You already tried and tried and haven’t hit him yet! What makes you think you’ll manage to do it this time?”

“<Why, you…>” Flammie growled, but Hiro didn’t give up.

“I know you want to do things your way and not require my help so much… but please, just this once, trust me!”

The Cyndaquil made an irritated motion with his head, but said nothing else before running again at full speed. Once he was close enough, he jumped a bit and grabbed onto his hind legs, spinning rapidly towards the other Pokémon.

“You fool! You do know that my Sprouter is impossible to strike with a direct charge! What makes you think you are going to succeed now?” the Sage asked, before Kenta gave him an uneasy grin.

“Like this… Flammie, light your fire!”

With that order, the Cyndaquil concentrated at once. The bright, burning flames on its body heated up and, as he spun, they spread over the air, sent towards the Bellsprout; although it was not a direct attack, he was still affected by the heat and flames, looking rather dizzy – hard to say, given their lame faces. Thanks to that, Flammie he hit Sprouter really hard, smoke rising from the contact, and he used the impulse to push him backwards as well and uncurl. Smoke poured from his pores, while he took on a fighting position.

“<That… was… retarded…>” he grunted, while the Bellsprout gasped, breathing in the smoke and looking rather gray.

“<Painful moan…>” he said simply, hobbling even more dangerously than normal. The Monk stared agape at that, completely surprised.

“How… how…” he stuttered, but Flammie didn’t let him continue. Taking point in Sprouter’s moment of weakness, he tackled the Bellsprout once more, this time with his regular stance and by aiming at the grayish head, and so it was knocked out.

“<Now stay down!>” he growled, giving it one last kick as a guarantee. While the Sage was flabbergasted, Kenta ran at Cyndaquil and grabbed him by the belly, passing by the defeated opponent.

“Sorry, but we’re in a real hurry!” he said, heading towards the nearest staircase. Quite surprised he was! He turned towards the Sage, pointing towards his destination with a free hand. “Why does this staircase only go down?!”

The baldhead had just recalled his Pokémon to the Pokéball, looking completely serious. “First of all, silence, impudent boy. Second of all, it is how this building was meant to be made. You must go down to the first level, proceed through the corridor, go up the stairs to this level, proceed through another corridor, and THEN you will get to the third level and beyond.” With a push, he forced Kenta down the staircase. “Now go away, and maybe I’ll tell everyone you sneaked by me instead of beating me.”

Kenta barely managed to keep his balance, as he and Flammie went down the stairs, and soon after he turned to the Sage. His irritation had reached levels never seen before, and he could not control himself. “WOW, THANKS, MISTER MONK, FOR TELLING ME THE WAY TO THE TOP! AND JUST AFTER I BEAT YOU IN A BATTLE!” he screamed, a rather funny grin in his face while he watched the Sage stare at him with a horrible headache.

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At the same time, Marina was busy with another Bellsprout that was hobbling in front of her, having avoided most of her attacks thus. “Just great… Kenta’s out there, laughing at other people’s misfortunes and apparently beating old fat monks with stinking togas that use retarded bellflowers as their Pokémon, and I’m still stuck here, still not having beaten the old fat monks with stinking togas that use retarded bellflowers as their Pokémon!”

Leda was panting on the nearby floor, glaring at the Bellsprout as well, and the Sage decided to speak on. “Silence, girl! It is not proper for one to insult their elders, or those who are superior than them! Maybe you need to be punished!” her opponent said, being mimicked shortly thereafter by his Pokémon.

After hearing that, Marina looked really scared, as she had taken his comment the clearly obvious way. “EEEEK! You’re a pervert! Not only you’re old and fat, but you’re a pervert too! I’m not letting you touch me, you old fat perverted monk!” While she squealed in fright, by her side was a Chikorita who was obviously as focused on the battle as she was herself. “Chikorita! Kick that Bellsprout in the face and onto the pervert!” Following her command, Leda ran towards that Pokémon, ready to attack.

“I’m not perverted, you annoying childe! Now stop your insulting, or I’ll-OOF!” the monk gasped, when Leda suddenly kicked Sproutling straight at his belly, knocked out at once. “That… that wasn’t fair!”

“All is fair in the game of Pokémon battling other than actual cheating, old fat man! Now let me through!” Marina replied with a grin, while Leda had her typical Pokémon look in her face.

“No!” another Sage said, throwing his own Pokéball. “It is our duty to protect the tower from intruders during the Fighting Test, and we shall sacrifice our lives to do so!”

From out of the Pokéball, another Bellsprout appeared, this one looking just as retarded as the last one. Marina grunted, while Leda readied herself. “Don’t you guys know when to quit?” she asked herself, already thinking about her next strategy. Kenta could’ve stayed with her so they could crush those morons together, couldn’t he?

The boy was in the middle of the corridor when he suddenly sneezed, stopping for a moment. While Flammie… stared… at him, confused, Kenta took a look around himself. Other than the wooden walls, a design he wasn’t too familiar with, the only interesting thing was another sphere fallen on the ground. When getting closer, he found out that it was no sphere, but instead some weird spray bottle with very light yellow liquid inside it.

“Weird… why do you think these balls turn into completely different objects, Flammie?” Kenta asked, and the Cyndaquil shrugged.

“<Who really cares about that, moron? Does it at least tell you what it does?>” was his uninterested reply. Kenta sweatdropped, before reading.

“‘Paralysis Heal, a substance made from Paralysis Cure Berries, or ‘PRZCureBerries’, that tastes even more spicy and thus, should not be fed to the Pokémon, but instead, sprayed all over its body for best results. Please do not wash simultaneously.’,” he read, before putting it inside his backpack. “Wonder why people are dropping so much stuff nowadays, though…”

“<Like I said before, who really cares? It’s free for us to take and you’re probably going to use on one of your other Pokémon, so take it already!>” Flammie added, while Kenta began walking away again, towards the other corridor. He had just reached the midway point when his POKéDEX started beeping loudly, and when he took it out, it was pointing at the wall to the side.

“Chikorita has just learnt Vine Whip,” it said simply, making him confused.

“Chikorita? Wait, one of those monks out there has a Chikorita? And how does this device know how to detect that if there’s a wall between us and the main entrance, anyway?”

“<Are you deaf or something, idiot?! WHO REALLY CARES? Now let’s hurry up to the top so you can take the manly girl already!>” Flammie screamed, loud enough for Kenta to wince and run faster towards the end of the corridor.

Before he could make it past the next turn, however, he saw another monk, just as fat and bald as the rest. “The duty of protecting this tower lies with us, of the Order of the Sprout!” he declared, before throwing a Pokéball. Yet another Bellsprout appeared, this one looking just as retarded as the last one.

“<Generic random insult,>” it said in a monotone, making the two unheroic heroes stare at it like it was stupid, as usual for them nowadays.

“<Great… are all Bellsprouts retarded?>” Flammie asked, and Kenta just slapped his face, rather irritated.

“Do you guys just use Bellsprouts?” he asked, and the Sage frowned at his attitude.

“Oh, do us a favor and get ready for pain!” he ordered, making Kenta roll his eyes.

“Whatever…”

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With a good laugh, Marina added another victory to her mental count. “And with this that’s four Bellsprouts we’ve defeated! Who’s next, another Bellsprout?” she boasted to the monks who seemed more and more distressed with each defeat. And Leda seemed a little less green, but maybe it was just her mind playing with her.

“It seems like you would be a match even for our master…” one of the monks admitted, putting on a haughty face. “Maybe even capable of succeeding on the Fighting Test. However, you cannot pass while the test is undergoing, since we are to wait and hope for a result to come.”

Marina groaned, before looking at him. “Do you mind telling me exactly who is going through this test of yours, at least? I want to try it, too!” she asked, and the monk looked at the others, as if uneasy at revealing that. Eventually, however, self-preservation overruled the privacy of home. And that means they didn’t want to get beaten up like Young Chin, who, after being defeated himself, attempted to attack the trainer, only to end up sprawled on the ground, like his Pokémon.

“Very well… I suppose it cannot be avoided,” he sighed, before turning back towards the girl and her Pokémon. “A child with long hair tinged in crimson and with some of the sharpest eyes one could possibly have came to this building today, and after defeating some of us with a single Pokémon, access was granted to this child. The tower was climbed upon and the child reached the apex, where a chance to battle our Elder Sage, Li, would occur. The battle is still ongoing, and we should have news of it soon.”

“I see…” Marina said, looking at the doors. “And until he loses or wins, nobody can go through?”

“No. Your companion may have gone through… but he must not be capable of defeating all the other monks in this tower. It would be impossible for him to make it that far.

“Right…” After a few seconds, the blue-haired girl remembered something. “You guys do know he has a Cyndaquil, right?”

The silence right after was gazemazing.

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“Man, these battles are getting easier… was that a one-hit knock out or something?” Kenta commented, as he looked at the Sage that had been his latest opponent. After screaming ‘I’M WEAK!’, he fell to his knees and began praying fervently, as if to have the power suddenly come to him by osmosis or mystical forces or a more natural power-up or he’d just receive an epiphany.

“<Maybe to you…>” Flammie grumbled, his pacing away rather slow. “<My body’s still hurting from that lucky shot! And I’m starving! Don’t you have anything to help me out on that bag of tricks of yours?>”

“A bag of tricks?” Kenta asked, a little confused. “Do you mean my backpack?”

“<It’s that thing on your back that you put your trick things inside. Like the funny bottles and the berries to feed me,>” Flammie explained, making the boy sigh and put his hand on his forehead, sighing.

“Okay, I think I can use a Potion on you, just…” he started to say, taking out his POKéDEX and activating a scan function, which he then began to run it over the small mole Pokémon’s body.

“<Hey, what are you doing?!>” Flammie asked, all of a sudden. “<You aren’t going to use that to turn me into a girl, are you?>”

“Why would I do that?” Kenta groaned. “You’re already annoying enough as a male. It’s just that the Pokédex has a system that allows me to check on your health based on your heartbeats, breath, mental synapses, and some other things that basically let me know how healthy you are. It includes a colored bar which goes on a percentage, indicating your stamina and how close you are to fainting in battle.”

“<Then why don’t you use that thing?>”

Kenta shrugged. “Well, I just never thought of…” The boy was interrupted by a loud beeping sound. Both of them looked at his left arm, glad to see it wasn’t his POKéGEAR that had been ringing, and Kenta soon realized it was the POKéDEX, that did it. One look at the screen and he was stunned with surprise.

“<Hey, what’s the problem, human?>” Flammie asked, not liking his face. After taking a good look at the POKéDEX, Kenta showed it to him.

“Do you see this?!” he asked, indicating the energy bar again. “You’re nearly out of energy! If you go onto a fight like this, then you’re going to be as good as dead!”

Flammie gasped at that revelation, but then he… glared… at Kenta, one of his paws wrapping into a fist. “<Well, if I’m so weak, then DO SOMETHING, YOU COMPLETE IDIOT! YOU’RE THE ONE WHO’S SUPPOSED TO TAKE CARE OF ME! NOW HEAL MY INJURIES!>”

Kenta fell backwards and on his butt, thanks to that. “Okay, okay, don’t get your snout in a twist!” he snapped back, opening his backpack and taking out one of the Potions – the purple soap bottles. After reading the instructions, the boy grabbed the Cyndaquil and pulled him closer, before spraying the contents on his back and limbs.

Flammie’s screams of pain were quite loud, as he felt the effects of the healing salve on his body, especially the painful burns it seemed to leave; despite the fact that it left no real damage, and was actually more healing than nasty, it still hurt and itched like crap.

“Will you calm down?!” Kenta asked, trying to hold the small mole Pokémon with one hand. “I can’t exactly heal you if you keep moving like this and stopping any attempts at healing!”

“<This thing burns! Get it off me!>” Flammie screeched, the pain making the Fire-type twist and turn as much as possible. Kenta could barely hold him now, his hand burning from the heat of the flames the Cyndaquil tried to light up, without much success. That only lasted for a few more seconds, however, and Flammie soon felt the burning stop for good. “<Um… not that I’m complaining, idiot, but why did the painful spraying stop?>”

Kenta shrugged. “I don’t know… looks like the bottle has a lot less than I expected, it’s already empty…” He was about to replace it in the bag when he saw a small berry laying on the ground, close enough that it had to have been dropped by his backpack. One look at the pocket he was packing these berries told him none of them were missing, unless…

“Can you explain to me,” he asked Flammie, showing the berry to him, “where did this come from?”

The Cyndaquil sweatdropped. “<Well… I don’t know…>” he said, as nervous as if he had been caught with a paw in the cookie jar. “<Isn’t it one of yours?>”

“No, Flammie. This isn’t one of mine.” He held the berry a little tighter. “Not just that, it’s hot. Almost so hot I can’t even hold it. It’s too cold in here for it to have heated up like that, and I don’t think there’s many Fire-types around these parts.”

Flammie was silent, while Kenta glared hard at him. The accusation seemed rather obvious. “<Well… just a sec…>” he requested, before scrambling himself very fast; the reverse cap boy couldn’t even follow his motions well, in those few seconds, before he stopped. “<…and it seems like my snack is missing… but it was right here until no>”

The Pokémon fell silent at once, while Kenta’s glare grew harder. “Wait… you’re telling me that you had a berry all along, hidden in some place I don’t want to know about, and despite that, you were going to force me to spend one of the others so you would not have to use it?” he asked, and the little mole Pokémon… looked… at him, quite hesitant.

“<Um… yes?>” he admitted, shivering under the very unknown face Kenta was using. True, it was just a serious glare with a frown, but given how Flammie had never witnessed it, it made him nervous.

On his side, Kenta decided not to think about the anger he felt thanks to the selfish and irritating attitude that Pokémon had, and instead just pocketed the berry in his bag. “Great… just great! I’m stuck with a Pokémon who just calls me stupid and keeps hiding things from me, won’t even trust me enough to tell me about things like that, an obnoxious girl who is obsessed with a guy who doesn’t give a crap about her, another Pokémon whose drive in life seems to be annoying others to death, and to make it all worse, for whatever reason I can hear you all! What kind of crappy life is this?!”

Doing his best to ignore Flammie’s answer, Kenta carried him to the next staircase, heading to the next floor. It didn’t take them long to reach the last and highest floor of the tower, or at least of the part they could see of it; on the other side of a rather large corridor leading to the other side, they could see Kamon facing against an even older and fatter monk, although their Pokémon were obscured by the distance and the poor lighting.

Beyond them, in the middle of the way, three Sages stood guard, having taken one Pokéball each and pointed it straight at Kenta. Each one of them had his own warcry, which was used as they threw their Pokéballs and let out their Pokémon.

“We are the last line of defense!”

“We must stop any who try to interfere with the ritual!”

“YOU’LL LOOOOOOOSE!”

Despite seeming rather intimidating, Kenta put a hand on his forehead, even as he saw what they would use in battle..

“<Generic random insult about stench of fire.>”

“<Flaws of having near sight pointed out.>”

“<Comment about thirst.>”

As the three Bellsprouts hobbled their way into battle, Kenta had to suppress a scream of horror. “Oh, come on, for Lugia’s sake… don’t you guys have ANY other Pokémon? Only Bellsprouts? But there’s a lot of Pokémon out there you could use other than that one!”

One of the Sages looked him over. “Do you have a second Pokémon?” he asked, making Kenta groan.

“Good point… look, can I just beat those Pokémon and leave already? I’m too close to miss out on what I’ve been doing the past few hour or so!”

The three Sages considered that argument. “Very well,” one of them said, after enough time. “Come at us with all you’ve got!”

Flammie grinned. “<Alright! Time to do what I do best!>” he cheered, but then Kenta wasn’t even paying attention. “<Huh? What are you doing, idiot? It’s battle time!>”

“Just use your pinball maneuver,” he said, in a ‘just hurry up’ tone, more interested in a spherical object nearby.

Snarling, Flammie ran towards the nearest Bellsprout, doing his spinning flaming tackle; the attack collided against the stupid drunk-looking Pokémon’s face, sending it straight backwards, and Flammie used his legs to shove himself off the Pokémon and onto the next one. The next impulse was enough to leap at the final enemy, the small mole Pokémon ready to smack the everloving crap out of it.

“<Yes! I’m the eternal champion!>” he cheered himself, after dropping the Bellsprout; however, he had just moved away when all three hobbled back up, not that harmed. “<WHAT?!>”

“Fool! Without giving a proper command, your Pokémon is weak to our power! Now go, Sprout, Sprouton, and Sprouting!” one of the Sages commanded, and their Vine Whips wrapped around Flammie’s limbs before he could react, stretching his body in three completely different directions and causing him pain.

“<KYAAAA! STOP THESE PAINFUL THINGS, YOU JERKS!>” he screamed, trying to scratch these uselessly with his clawless paws, to no heed. Kenta had just finished storing the spherical object – truthfully, a Potion – when he heard the scream of pain and realized what was happening.

“Flammie!” he cried out, in surprise, before his Pokémon was thrown against a wall, hard. To add up to the injury, one vine managed to slap him as well, as an insult.

“<Generic laughter,>” all three Bellsprouts said, at once, while Flammie struggled to get up.

“<Dang it… I’m too hungry to fight!>” he cursed, striking the floor with one paw. Kenta looked at him, then at the Bellsprouts.

‘So close, and yet… if I don’t get past those monks, Kamon is going to leave!’ he thought, before looking back at the Cyndaquil. ‘But Flammie’s not looking so good… if he gets too bad, it won’t be any good!’

It took him a while, but Flammie forced himself up again, completely enraged. “<Okay, I’m mad now! All three of you are going from retarded bells to retarded ashes!>” he screamed, making Kenta cover his ears, though also relieved; it looked like he was alright.

“Guess they aren’t going to go easy if I don’t pay attention…” he commented, with a sigh. “Okay, Flammie, grab onto one of their heads!”

The Cyndaquil turned towards him, growling a little, before running after the nearest Bellsprout and hopping onto its head, grabbing hard enough to make its flimsy body collapse in pain.

“<Exclamation of pain,>” the Bellsprout droned, its body squished underneath its head. While his trainer thought about a strategy, the others decided to help him at once.

“Sprouton! Sprouting! Strike at that Cyndaquil!” With that command, the Bellsprouts flung their vines at Flammie. This time, however, Kenta was ready.

“Jump up and then curl up while you’re coming down!” he exclaimed, and Flammie did a short hop over the incoming vines, which grabbed onto Sprout and wrapped around his stupid-looking head and his thin and svelte body. A second later, the Cyndaquil had turned into a sphere of fire, colliding with Sprout painfully enough to knock it out. Not only that, but the vines that were holding him had burned thanks to his flames, and the Bellsprouts fainted right after.

“<Yeah! I am the winner!>” Flammie cheered, trying to flex non-existent biceps. “<Now how’s that, you retarded flowerpots?!>”

The leading Sage was frightened. “T-this cannot be! How could you defeat the three of us at once?!”

Kenta grabbed Flammie and headed on, smiling. “I just had a good idea!”

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[H-Man]

Pokémon Johto - The Funne Version!!!

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Chapteur Le Fifth
—Arrival At Last! Sprout Tower, Here We Go!—
–Part Two–

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After crossing the long yet short bridge to the other side, Kenta and Flammie finally located Kamon, who had just recalled a Pokémon into the Pokéball. In front of him, an even older and fatter Sage stood, taking some deep breaths, and glaring at him, even as he took something out of his robes.

“Indeed, you are strong and skilled as a trainer…” he said, taking a breath. “However, the act of training is much different from the way you’re doing this. You should take better care of your Pokémon… and not battle as harshly.” Every word he said only made Kamon look at him with even more contempt than usual. “Pokémon are not meant to be used as tools of war…”

Kamon just grumbled something under his breath, before taking the offered object and hiding it inside his coat. Then, he turned away, only to notice Kenta standing there. “So, it’s you again,” he said, dismissively. “Did you come to win a badge for good behavior or something silly like that?”

Kenta snarled. “Kamon! Give back that Pokémon you stole and surrender to the police already!” he snapped at the crimson-haired boy, who glared at him angrily.

“You’re still thinking about that? Give me a break…” he grunted, before glancing at the Sage. “That guy over there? He claims to be the Elder of the Sages, but he’s too weak… even weaker than me.” Then, he gave an apparently well-practiced sigh that had a bit of angst in it. “It stands to reason.”

“What reason?!” Kenta asked, confused. Kamon looked at him.

“I’d never lose to a fool who babbles about being nice to Pokémon, and that is too weak to prove his point… I only care about strong Pokémon. Pokémon that can win battles, and help me defeat them…” he said, pushing Kenta backwards. “I care little about weak Pokémon who are unable to help you win. They’re just useless, completely useless… just like you.”

Kenta raised an eyebrow. “What are you talking about? That doesn’t even make sense!” he said, but Kamon just took out a weird belt device, attaching it to his waist. Holding a control thingy, he raised his arm and pressed the button, before a green energy field surrounded him and a beam of energy flew straight towards the largest window around, for a few seconds. Then, Kamon was pulled with it.

Kenta stared at the spot, in surprise. “<…what the VORTEX just happened?>” Flammie asked, turning towards Kenta. The capped boy just shook his head, unsure himself. The Elder Sage walked towards them, a weird smile on his face.

“Why, hello there… My name is Li. I presume you have defeated all trainers in your path?” he asked, making Kenta shrug. “Well, then, come on and prepare yourself for the Fighting Test… so that I can know how strong is the bond between you and your Pokémon!”

With that, Flammie instinctively took on a battle pose, snarling, while one of the Sages took out a boombox and turned it on, playing a different music even louder than the other ones. At the same time, the Elder Sage threw a Pokéball ahead, releasing a Bellsprout.

“<Offensive comment regarding your lack of greenness,>” the Bellsprout said, calmly, before looking at Kenta. “<Insult towards the coloring of your hair cover.>”

Kenta twitched, his right hand clenching and unclenching, while Flammie snarled and let his flames rise. “<Okay, you’re on, loser! I’m tired of battling you bell morons, and you’d better be the last one of them all!>” he snapped, making Kenta look at him.

“Um, are you sure you want to say that? I mean…” Kenta began, but Flammie turned towards him, his closed eyes somehow giving a real impression of being closed.

“<I battled six stupid plants so far. Six. Stupid. Plants. All at the same place, without rest, and with only a painful recovery once. So, leave me alone, and let’s kick that plant’s head and get this over with!>” he screamed, before looking back. “<So shut up and order me already!>”

“O…kay…” Kenta said, rather confused, before turning towards the Elder Sage.

“I will be using my remaining three Pokémon against your three. Is that okay?” he asked, and Kenta blinked.

“Um… I just have Flammie.” The reply made the Elder Sage crash onto the ground, face first.

“Whatever, whatever… just accept the challenge and get ready!” he said, after quickmoving into his previous position.

“Okay, fine… Flammie, attack the Bellsprout’s head!” he told his Pokémon, who ran at his opponent, before doing a funny attempt at a kick.

“Weather it, Bellespror!” Li commanded, and as Flammie struck it, the retarded Pokémon bounced like some stupid doll, before falling onto its back, dumbly.

“<Pain,>” it said, its voice sounding somewhat like a groan. The Elder Sage snapped his fingers.

“Now use your Vine Whip to teach this infidel a lesson, and punish him with the might of your ancestors!” he commanded, and his Pokémon obeyed by releasing a pair of vines that headed straight at Flammie’s head, intent on giving him just as much brain damage as their owner had been given.

“Spin in defense, Flammie!” Kenta told his Pokémon, who quickly curled much unlike a mole and let the vines collide against his flaming back, burning them and letting the Pokémon feel the pain easily. The only problem was that he hadn’t really spun as much as curled into fetal position with his head barely protected.

“<Ha-ha!>” he laughed, as he heard the noise of the burning vines that touched only the fire and not his skin. “<Take that, you idiot flowerpot!>”

Kenta glared at him. “Didn’t I tell you to spin? Why didn’t you?” he asked, and Flammie just waved a paw, dismissively.

“<Can’t talk, the plant’s trying to eat me,>” he replied, before rushing ahead. Kenta felt like slapping his face again.

“Great… why can’t he ever listen to me?” he wondered, quietly, before focusing again. “Tackle him this time!”

“<Hn!>” Flammie noised, before doing his typical strategy for the last few battles – curl into a sphere and let himself impact hard against the Bellsprout, who’d be damaged from the fires and hopefully faint already.

That was what happened.

“<Scream of raw, undiluted, burning pain,>” Bellespror said, in its regular droning tone, before falling on the ground, knocked out.

“No, Bellespror!” Li screamed, in surprise. Upon receiving no response, he turned towards Kenta, his tone serious. “You are very good… and it seems you and your Pokémon share quite the deep bond. Indeed, this battle is for the ages, boy…”

Kenta and Flammie stared at him, even as he recalled the Pokémon. “Is this guy even listening to what we say?” Kenta wondered, while Flammie panted.

“<I have no idea, idiot… but can you please give me my food back? I’m starving!>” he asked, annoyedly.

“In any case, prepare yourself for the next challenge! Go, Bellegorn!” Li said, before sending out another Bellsprout, this one looking extremely fierce, with its stupid beady eyes glaring in the same manner as everyone else’s at Flammie’s body.

“<Quip on your lack of funne,>” it droned, making both trainer and Pokémon fall to the ground, hard.

“Are all Bellsprouts as dumb as their names?” Kenta wondered, making Li frown.

“Be silenced! Bellegorn, use Growth now!” he ordered, and energy flowed through the dumb-looking bellflower’s body, before it began growing and enlarging itself.

“Okay, so it can do that…” Kenta said, awkwardly. Flammie just grinned, however. “What’s so funny?”

“<Don’t you know anything about size differences, human? The bigger they are, the bigger their targets are!>” he cheered, before running off ahead as usual. “<Now to set it alight!>”

However, as Flammie got ready to spin and burn again, Bellegorn thwacked him on the head with a vine, completely surprising the duo. “<OWWW! Hey! You didn’t let me even attack! That’s not how things go!>”

“<Sarcastic comment about your stupid butt,>” Bellegorn replied, sounding even more robotic than usual, making Flammie snap and grab onto the vine, trying to bite it off.

“<SHUT UP! NOBODY INSULTS THE STUPIDITY OF MY BUTT, YOU STUPID PLANT! WHEN I GET THROUGH WITH YOU, YOU’RE GOING TO BE ASHES AND CORPSES!>” he screamed, in-between bites, surprising Kenta as he somehow had been speaking a lot less than what he actually said – “QUIL! DA, CYN! CYNQUIL DA, QUIL CYNDAQUIL!!!”.

“…how do they speak like that, I’ll never know…” Kenta muttered, before shaking his head. “Flammie! Stop getting all mad for no reason and attack the head already!”

“<Fine, idiot…>” Flammie snarled, before he finally released the vine, and then finished his attack by actually spinning and burning the plant’s face.

However, this time the attack did much less damage, as evidenced by the fact that smoke that should be pouring out of the Pokémon’s pores didn’t pour at all. “<What the?!>” he squealed, in surprise.

“It is rather useless to maintain a single strategy against the same enemy! You ought to know they grow wiser with time… and then, they proceed to turn your offense against you! Now, Bellegorn, Vine Whip again!” Li told them, and Bellegorn made use of the short distance between them to deliver another hit against Flammie’s head, this time sending him backwards and onto the wall.

“Dang, he’s getting better… and Flammie’s energy’s only going to go down now! If we don’t beat him soon, it’s going to be a mess!” Kenta groaned, summing up the thoughts of everyone who was watching this, including the three guardians.

“So, ready to admit your defeat yet, boy?” the Elder Sage asked, as he watched the fallen Flammie struggle to get up again.

“Like we’re going to lose to you…” Kenta grunted back, trying to not worry about the fact that his Pokémon was growing weaker and weaker with each attack the Bellsprout did.

Flammie got back up, snarling. “<I… hate… PLANTS!!!>” he screeched, before running at the Bellsprout and hitting it straight in the unprotected spine, which bent really awkwardly. It was worse since Flammie had chose that moment to flare up, right onto the retarded Pokémon’s face, and then twisted them both so that the spine caught on fire.

“<Severe exclamation of mortal pain,>” the Pokémon noted, before fainting. Flammie panted, as smoke seemed to be coming out of his pores, and he turned towards his trainer, rubbing the place on his forehead that had gotten the most of the pain.

“<Okay… I’ve beaten… the stupid plant… can you heal… me now?>” he requested, before falling on the ground, flames dying down. “<So… hungry…>”

Kenta took out his POKéDEX again, and checked out the stats. “…oh, great, you’re nearly dead again! Let’s just hope you don’t grow too worse… I don’t have many more Potions left,” he told him, rather distressed, before opening his backpack and taking out another Potion. As Bellegorn was recalled into the Pokéball Li held, Kenta kneeled and began to spray the painful and foolish mint-smelling concoction on his Pokémon’s body, trying, again to not get burnt by him, as he twisted, turned, and screamed.

A few moments afterwards, Flammie stood up, his body still smoking for whatever reason. “<Okay, mister baldhead! I’ve already beaten both your stupid, annoying, irritating, and retarded Pokémon! Now come on and send in the third one already so I can set fire to it, and then this idiot over here can take me to some place where I can be healed, and have my dinner in peace!>” he told the Elder Sage, who seemed to raise an eyebrow and frown.

“It seems your Pokémon has a very strong amount of bravery and courage inside him… these were probably triggered by your friendship with him. It’s so nice to see a human and a Pokémon acting together like that!” he told Kenta, smiling at the end. Kenta sweatdropped.

“Um… next Pokémon, please?” he requested, and the old man laughed.

“Ah, yes, yes… come forth, Guardian!” he called, before throwing one last Pokéball, that flew ahead, before opening and releasing the Pokémon contained within.

This Pokémon was somewhat similar in shape to a Sentret, but instead of looking like a mix between a wheel and a non-existing animal called a raccoon, it looked like a mix between a very large ball and a non-existing animal called an owl. It only stood on one foot, was covered with brown and white feathers, and had two large, round, and red eyes that made it look like a streetlight. Above its eyes, two clock hand-shaped black feathers stood as a pair of antennae, and black feathers surrounded its eyes. The wings were also ridiculously small.

Kenta’s POKéDEX flared to life again. “Hoothoot, the Owl Pokémon. Height is 0.7m, weight is 21.2 kg. Gender is female. A Pokémon with a perfect sense of time and balance, not only does it always keep its own rhythm by precisely tilting its head in time, it also shifts its feet too fast for the human eye to see. Some trainers use them instead of clocks, since they always hoot at the same time every day.” Indeed, the Hoothoot was tilting itself after a few seconds, always in the same motion, like some hypnotic thing.

“<Oh, this is my opponent?>” she asked, tilting to the right. “<Looks rather cute.>” She then tilted to the left. “<But I’m not hungry.>” Tilt to the right.

Flammie… glared… at her, but his reaction was stopped by some coughing. “<Gah… my throat’s feeling… ugh! What’s happening?>” he asked, outloud, and Kenta blinked.

“Your… throat’s hurt? What’s wrong, Flammie?” he asked, and the Cyndaquil took one step back.

“<I… I can’t breathe… it’s smelling so… so awful… I… I…>” He fell to the ground, on all fours, and felt his head rearing back. “<I… I… AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!>”

With that scream, Flammie forced his head ahead, and a large cloud of smoke began to eject from his mouth and all pores, covering the entire battlefield in the stinking fumes. Guardian jumped upwards, using her wings to glide onto a nearby window.

“<Hm… how smelly. I don’t like this very much. Not at all,>” she quipped, tilting herself with each sentence. While Flammie panted and looked back up, Kenta’s POKéDEX beeped once more.

“Cyndaquil has just learned Smokescreen,” it said, making the capped boy look at his Pokémon in awe. Flammie just gave a peculiar grin and snapped two fingers, standing up again.

“<Well, I guess that excess of smoke wasn’t just sickness… but yeah! Time to do what I do best and beat that stupid bird down a few pegs!>” he cheered, before turning towards Guardian. “<So, come over here and let me kick your butt!>”

“<Yeah, right,>” she replied, tilting herself to the right, before gliding towards the floor. “<Cute, but arrogant.>” Tilt to the left. “<Maybe I was wrong. You aren’t interesting.>” To the right and then to the left again. “<Allow me to make you get it.>” Back to the right.

The scenario was ready. The battle would begin.

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[H-Man]

Pokémon Johto - The Funne Version!!!

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Chapteur Le Fifth
—Arrival At Last! Sprout Tower, Here We Go!—
–Part Three–

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Kenta took the initiative. “Flammie, Tackle her!” he told his Pokémon, who ran on all fours, heading at the clockwork owl Pokémon.

“Dodge that move and use Tackle yourself, Guardian!” Li ordered, and the Hoothoot jumped onto the air once more, landing behind Flammie. Then, she did a belly tackle to hit him, in a manner that was equivalent to his shoulder tackle.

To her luck, Flammie had turned around in time, making her collide against his front instead of his back. She flapped her kiwi wings to retreat, hopping a bit. “<As I thought, all brawns and no brain,>” she said, tilting to the right and back to the left. “<Such a pity. You were cute. Now you’re food.>” Her tilting was to the right, to the left, and back to the right.

“<Grr…>” Flammie snarled, as he finally got back up. “<Can you stop talking like that?! It sounds like you wanted something more from me!>” he snapped, making the owl Pokémon blink with one eye, then with the other, as she still tilted.

“<Want more?>” she repeated, tilting to the right. “<Maybe I did.>” A tilt to the left. “<But now I don’t. You became boring.>” To the right, and back to the left. “<Maybe if you beat me, I’ll acknowledge you,>” she finished, tilting twice more.

Flammie sweatdropped. “<Stop tilting, that’s creepy. Not to mention that I don’t care about your acknowledgment… I just want to get out of this place! I wouldn’t be here in the first place if it wasn’t for this idiot!>”

“<Coo!>” she cooed. “<But he is your trainer,>” she replied, tilting to the left. “<You should be more respectful of him.>”

“<Respectful?>” Flammie asked, as if the mere concept of that was a joke. “<My trainer? You have got to be kidding, you stupid owl! I’m being forced to travel with him because that tree-headed guy wanted me to be with him! I’d rather be back home kicking butt on my own, instead of having to obey someone like him! Now stand still!>” he continued, before trying another Tackle, this time as a flaming ball of death.

The attack missed her by a good length, and she tilted herself, even as she turned around. “<Coo?>” she cooed. “<I thought you and the boy were helping each other, given the commands he’s given you. You protect him, he orders you… that’s the natural agreement, isn’t it?>” she asked, tilting to the left, then to the right, then back to the left, then back to the right, and back to the left once more.

“<‘Natural agreement’… ha!>” Flammie laughed, as he finally stopped his rolling. “<I don’t care about natural rules… I don’t want to be trained! Trained Pokémon… they’re all morons! Pokéballs brainwash them… then they’re used as fodder, always getting beaten up for the sake of nothing! What am I going to get for all the work I do, I ask you? Nothing! I’ll just get hurt… and if I’m going to get hurt, then it had better be because I’m fighting for what I want!>”

This response surprised Kenta, who stared at the small, mole-ish Pokémon. ‘So… so that’s how he really feels about me?’ he wondered, unable to react. ‘He… never trusted me… he always thought I was like everyone else he must have seen…’ Slowly, his look of surprise became a fierce look of decision. From his pocket, he took out his POKéDEX, and opened it again.

“Flammie, use Growl!” he told his Pokémon, who seemed to raise an eyebrow at the odd command. However, this soon was followed by a loud squeal, in an irritated, yet cute tone.

“QUIIIIIL!” The sound was enough to distress Guardian, and she winced in a tick-tock way, wobbling.

“<Ouch! That was mean!>” she said, frowning, while tilting to the right and then to the left. “<Food should not talk back!>”

“<Pfeh, who cares!>” Flammie asked, as he flared up. “<I’m not food… I’m Flammie, and you had better remember it!>”

“<Food has no name,>” the Hoothoot replied, tilting to the right. “<Maybe if you become interesting again.>” She tilted to the left.

“Guardian, prepare to attack with another Tackle, but this time take to the air!” the Elder Sage commanded, and after a coo, she jumped up, gliding with her petite wings again.

“<Oh, now you’re asking for it…>” Flammie snarled, but Kenta did a hand motion that distracted him.

“Flammie, wait up… and keep your eyes on her!” the capped boy requested, before activating a different function of the POKéDEX. This one seemed to be focusing on the Hoothoot that was doing a few spins on the air, waiting for the moment to strike.

“<Grr… you had better make sure this works, idiot! I don’t want to lose now!>” the Cyndaquil snapped, still glaring at Guardian. As she finally took her diving position, ready to bellyflop the Fire-type, who prepared his own Tackle, Kenta took point again.

“Get ready…” he muttered, waiting until she was just close enough-“Now use Growl again!”

This surprised Flammie, who only had time to let out a loud ‘QUIIIIIIIL!’, before being flung backwards and away. Guardian landed a bit harder than before, and her two feet were visible for that moment.

“<Owowowowow… that hurt,>” she groaned, her body facing the right side of the room, and then the left one. “<I hadn’t counted on being so weaker. That is bad. But that strategy… it is interesting,>” she admitted, having tilted four times in the process. She then pulled herself up. “<Coo,>” she cooed, before continuing. “<You are less food and more friend now. I like. I like friend. Battling friend is nice. What are your names?>” she asked, tilting five times, to the left and to the right and to the left and to the right and to the left again.

“<…I already told you mine, you stupid flying ball! I’m Flammie!>” the Cyndaquil snapped, getting back up as well. “<While the idiot… his name is Kenta or something. I don’t care. He’s just an idiot.>”

“<Coo…>” she cooed. “<You should care,>” she replied, tilting to the left. “<He is not an idiot. And he makes you cute. Very cute. With his help, you become interesting. Very interesting. I like Kenta.>” She tilted to the right, then to the left, then to the right, then to the left, back to the right, again to the left, and finally to the right.

“<Eh… whatever. Like whoever you want. But I still don’t like you calling me cute…>” Flammie said, his tone rather awkward. Guardian seemed to grin with her beak, cooing again.

“Okay, Flammie… use Smokescreen now!” Kenta told his Pokémon, who gave a snarky grin.

“<Heh. I think I like this strategy… get ready, you stupid birdclock!>” the Cyndaquil insulted her, before letting loose a stinking blast of thick, black smoke that stood in-between the two, hiding each other from sight.

The Hoothoot sighed. “<Pity the cuteness is leaving… hiding from others is sad. So sad. Being visible is nice. Oh so nice. But oh well,>” she said, tilting herself six times. Li frowned, as the smokescreen increased in height quite a lot.

“Hop onto the air and search for him, Guardian!” he commanded, and she did so a moment later. However, a strange noise coming from below her – ‘frashk’ – distracted her attention.

“<Coo?>” she cooed, in surprise. The sound repeated itself twice, louder with each moment – before Flammie came from below her, having hid himself underneath the smoke. “<W-what?! How did you get here?>”

“<It was simple… the higher the smoke screen, the more space I’d have to bounce without being seen. The moment I was done, I entered the smoke and began bouncing… did you know my blazes make a cool sound when they hit the floor?>” he explained, having grabbed onto her foot.

“<Coo!>” Guardian cooed, surprised. She tried to flap her wings, but Flammie curled up and set her tail and butt on fire, making her scream in pain and fall down to the ground, painfully.

“Nice work, Flammie!” Kenta complimented his Pokémon, grinning. It sure was nice to see him happy and not mad… and if he could do that, then maybe… ‘Maybe the two of us aren’t so different after all… and maybe we can help each other…’

As Guardian got up and turned around, she seemed to still be smiling, despite the burned butt and tail. “<This I like… I like very much. You are very interesting, Flammie. In exchange, I will tell you my name… I am Korina. Korina and Flammie… how cute names. Might be cuter together, or not. Your opinion?>” she told him, tilting to the right and to the left and to the right and to the left and to the right and to the left and to the right and to the left and to the right.

Flammie stood on his hind legs, and turned towards Kenta. “<…okay, this is getting seriously weird. How much more do I have to conk her head?>” Flammie asked, and Kenta looked at his POKéDEX.

“Well… if you hit her thrice more, I’d say that’s game over for them,” he replied, but his tone made Flammie raise an eyebrow. “…um, is there a problem?”

“<Nothing, idiot…>” the Cyndaquil sighed, before turning towards Korina. “<So, you hear that? I just need to knock you down thrice more, and that’s the end for you!>”

Korina laughed, a sound that was very odd coming from the clockwork owl Pokémon. “<Of course you do, cute Flammie. But to hit me, you must first reach me. And to reach me…>” she told him, tilting herself three times. At the end of her sentence, Li made a motion with his right arm, first stretching it to his left, then quickly moving it towards the right.

“Guardian, fly to the window!” he ordered, and the Hoothoot cooed, before jumping up and heading towards the nearest window. Flammie and Kenta made pursuit, glaring at her.

“<Hey, what are you doing?! That’s not fair!>” Flammie squealed, irritated. Korina laughed again.

“<Silly, silly. You are beginning to be less cute, now…>” she told him, tilting thrice. “<This is one of the challenges we have here, one that is used by me. ‘One without wings cannot defeat one with wings.’… If you cannot reach me, that means you are not cute or interesting. So, cute Flammie, come and defeat me… if you can.>” While saying that, she tilted to the left, to the right, to the left, to the right, to the left, to the right, to the left, to the right, and to the left again.

“<Grr… you’re no fun at all! I’m going to kick your butt, you stupid owl thing! Just you wait!>” Flammie snarled, before jumping at her. He still came short, however… but he curled up into a ball in mid-air, and Korina watched him, amusedly.

“<Coo,>” she cooed, seeing the Flammie-ball fall to the ground… and bounce up again with a ‘frashk’, the rotation having allowed the mole Pokémon to go higher and faster, even if he still wasn’t high up enough. Once more, he fell… only to bounce up higher, still curled up.

“<Haha! Now to->” Flammie taunted, but was stopped in mid-air, as he got pecked on the forehead by the Hoothoot. “<OWIE!>” he screamed, being forced down and falling onto the ground hard. “<That hurt!>”

As he rubbed the bump formed on his forehead, eyes looking even more tightly shut than usual, Korina laughed again. “<What did you expect, cute Flammie?>” she asked, chirpy, as she tilted twice. “<My beak is a constant weapon, just like your teeth and paws. I do not need to use a Peck attack just to peck you, after all…>” To say that, she tilted to the left and the right and the left and the right and the left.

“<Why, you!>” Flammie snarled, but was unable to do much, other than get back up and begin his bouncing again. The clockwork owl Pokémon stared, the same look of amusement on her face.

“<Coo?>” she cooed.

“<Hiyaaaaaa-OW!!!>” Flammie screamed, as he tried to bounce up once more to the window where Korina stood, only to get his forehead pecked again. The last collision was hard enough to make his flames die down, and he struggled to get up again.

“<Cute Flammie, not so cute anymore…>” the Hoothoot commented, tilting twice. “<You were doing well before, but now you do not. Sad. So sad. Quite sad. I hope this will be a lesson for your cuteness.>” A tilt to the right, then to the left, then to the right, then to the left, to the right once more, again to the left, and finally to the right.

“<Stop… saying that…>” he groaned, wincing from the pain. Kenta took one look at his POKéDEX’s damage indicator for the Elder Sage’s Pokémon, biting his lip in the process, before looking back up. Li’s smile turned into a frown.

“I thought your bond with your Pokémon was stronger than that… why do you keep letting it act by itself, instead of giving a command? That will just be worse for the two of you, as it will quite certainly lose the battle and cost you victory,” he said, but Kenta’s attention seemed to be mostly focused on the battle itself.

‘Shut up…’ he thought, in an irritated tone. ‘You’re wrong… Flammie won’t lose to just a mere bird like this one…’ Finally, he figured out a strategy, and lowered his POKéDEX. “Flammie, take your distance!”

The Cyndaquil turned towards him, before running a good enough distance. “<Okay, I’m here, idiot! Now what’s your master plan?>” he asked, his flames erupting once more.

“Begin bouncing once more, in her direction, but the last bounce has to be the fourth!” the capped boy told his Pokémon, who raised an eyebrow, but jumped all the same. Each bounce he did was approaching Korina more and more, and she looked at the two amusedly.

“<Coo…>” she cooed, noticing how close Flammie was. As soon as he bounced again, she was going to

“Uncurl with your hind legs up and push yourself up!” Kenta told the Cyndaquil, who opened up in time, absorbing the collision impact with his front legs, and using the recoil as a means to move upwards… but the way he jumped made it difficult for Korina to peck him, and so she had to step back, barely being missed by his feet.

“<That was…>” she stuttered, breathlessly, before taking one step forward and looking up. Flammie was right above her, just high enough for her to not reach him, and just exiting his upward ascent… which meant-

“Now Tackle her while curled up!” Kenta finished, doing a slicing motion with one arm, a grin coming to his features.

“<Got you now, you stupid owl!>” Flammie laughed, as he began falling again. Curling up, he began to spin rapidly, ready to smash onto the Hoothoot. Li turned towards her.

“Guardian, move back and avoid the move!” he ordered, but she did not move.

“<Well done,>” she simply said, before moving herself forward, so as to take the maximum of the damage the attack would inflict. Flammie’s spinning tackle pushed her off the window and all the way to the wooden floor, ramming her in the process, even as the Cyndaquil bounced off her, landing safely onto the ground. Exhaustion took over his body, and his flames died down, as he slumped onto the ground.

In Kenta’s POKéDEX, Guardian’s energy bar reduced itself to zero, indicating a knock-out. Cheerful music began playing from it, dimming down the boombox’s (that was then shut-off), while the words ‘You Win!’ were shown on the screen.

“We won…” he whispered, laughing frantically. “We won! Flammie, we won!” With that, he pocketed the mechanical device and ran towards his fallen Pokémon, who gave a faint of a smile.

“<‘We’, huh?>” he asked, getting raised by the capped boy onto the air and hugged rather tightly. “<I think I could live with that…>”

“So, you have won…” Li eventually said, watching his Pokémon twitch a bit every second, at the exact same moment. “That was rather unexpected… but it goes to show that your bonds, indeed, are far greater than mine. Congratulations, child, and good luck in your journey.”

Walking towards the two, he took out a small CD case from his pocket, and showed it to them. “This is the Hidden Machine 05, Flash. It is a technique used by various Pokémon to reflect, control, manipulate, and harness light into a blinding… well, flash. It can light the darkest dungeons and places… and hopefully, it might do the same to people. I offer it to you, as the prize for winning the Fighting Test.”

Kenta stared at the prize as he took it, rather awkwardly. “…that’s it?” he asked, before looking around. “I imagine it’s important, what with it being called ‘Hidden’ and all, but… what am I supposed to do with it?”

“Oh, you’ll find out in time, young child…” the Elder Sage replied, calmly and patronizing. “Now, it is a pity it is so late, otherwise we would offer you a proper meal for your victory, but…”

“Ah!” Kenta said, all of a sudden, startling all around. After he put the HM inside a pocket of his backpack, he then took out the cake his mother had baked, which was still looking perfect. “I just remembered… would any of you mind buying a slice of this cake? It costs only a hundred Pokéyens, and I… would like to apologize for the inconvenience I may have caused,” he explained, rather sheepishly, before giving a funny grin.

The Sages all look at each others. “Well, a mere slice of cake may not go against our obligations,” Li said, before taking the offered knife and cutting a slice of the cake for him. The other three Sages then did the same, and all four then proceeded to take a bite.

After a few moments, their eyes grew wide, startling Kenta. “Um… any problem?” he asked, but no response came from the Sages, whose eyes were starting to water. He began to panic. “Maybe I should go call for”

One of the Sages stopped him, after finally swallowing the bite. “This… this is the most delicious cake I have ever eaten in my life!” he said, crying of happiness, and completely weirding out Kenta and Flammie.

“Indeed… I can’t stop eating it! It is so delicious!” the second Sage said, before taking another bite. The third Sage was kneeling, looking at the skies (although that was really the ceiling), and saying countless prayers for the blessing that it was to eat this amazing cake. Li put his hands on Kenta’s shoulders.

“Child… tell us. Who baked this cake?” he asked, and Kenta glanced around, nervously.

“Um… that was my mom who did it,” he replied, before being released. The Elder Sage turned around, towards the other three Sages.

“My brothers… this has been a sign. A sign of the Legendaries. They must be wanting us to change… to develop… to be as this cake that this child has brought to us. We shall no longer be known as the Order of the Sprout! We shall now be known as… the Order of the Cake!” he declared, in a proud tone, and the three other Sages did a prayer. “Now come! We must alert the whole order of this change, and initiate the transformation! There must be peregrinations! There must be sales! There must be Cake!”

“Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake!” the Sages repeated, before all four of them began running towards the ground floor, in a hurry. Kenta and Flammie just stared at them, completely confused.

“…okay,” Kenta finally said. Looking around, he saw that not only was Korina still on the ground, twitching every passing second, but there was also another spherical thing on the ground – the fourth he had found, after the Potion, the odd syringe, and the Paralysis Heal – and he was curious as to what it was. Walking close to it, he saw it looked like that thing Kamon had been wearing, when he suddenly left, and this only made him the most confused.

“<Come on… take me to rest already! I’m tired!>” Flammie whined, from his position in Kenta’s arms. The boy nodded, after putting the device on his backpack, and turned around… but he stopped by the Hoothoot, picking her up. “<Huh?! What are you doing?!>”

“She’s fainted, and she needs to go to the Pokémon Center as much as you do… the least we could do is take her there, right?” Kenta replied, and the Cyndaquil just groaned.

“<Fine… you do whatever you want. I’m too tired to argue the point right now…>” he replied, trying to make himself more comfortable in his arms.

As Kenta walked away, taking the two Pokémon, the sound of approaching footsteps became louder, and coming downstairs led him to meeting up with Marina, who stopped in front of the corner. “Ah, Kenta! There you are!” she greeted him, looking rather cheerful for someone who had been chasing him and waiting as well for the past hour.

“Marina? What are you doing here?” he asked, surprised, and the pincer-haired girl frowned.

“What else? You’re my guide, which means you lead me onto places. Running away like that isn’t courteous, gentle, or…” she ranted, before stopping, apparently noticing Korina at last. “Hey, who’s that?”

“That… that’s the Elder Sage’s Hoothoot. She was defeated by Flammie, but after the Sages ate some of the cake I sold, they ran off and forgot to bring her, so…” Marina’s look became one of surprise, and he blinked.

“Wait… so that is why the Sages were all strange and stuff? Because they ate some cake you sold?” she asked, in a tone of disbelief. Kenta nodded. “Oh, great. Great going, Kenta! Thanks to you, they’re now Cakeists and they’re going to be worshipping a piece of cake!”

“…and that’s bad, how?” Kenta asked, confused. Marina just grabbed her cap and snarled, in irritation, but a noise distracted them.

“<Pant… pant… pant…>” Leda panted, as she crawled up the stairs to the first floor and tried to crawl ahead. “<Come… back… hu… man… I… still… have… to… kick… your… butt…>”

Kenta ran towards her, completely surprised, even as he took out his POKéDEX. After a quick scan, he couldn’t help but give a cry of surprise, which nobody else understood.

“What’s wrong, Kenta?” Marina asked, as she approached them. Kenta got up and turned towards her, showing the POKéDEX’s visor.

“This,” he said simply, as the scan showed a practically empty bar underneath a large Chikorita picture, with a ‘1/100%’ line underneath. “She’s almost dead from the lack of energy! Even the slightest breeze could faint her or worse now! The fact that she managed to climb up and down the stairs and come all the way here is staggering!”

“Oh, my…” Marina admitted, as she looked at the fallen Pokémon. “I guess I did push her a bit too hard, against all those Bellsprouts… but it was worth it! She did learn Vine Whip, after all!”

Kenta blinked. “Wait… so that’s why she learned the move?” he asked outloud, making Marina look at him this time. “The Pokédex said that a Chikorita had learned Vine Whip a while ago, and I was kinda distracted, but… I think it meant that one, right?”

“Well, of course it did!” she replied in an irritated tone, before picking up Leda and beginning to walk down the stairs. “None of those old fat monks had a Chikorita – all they had were Bellsprouts! By Mew and Celebi, if I hear even ONE more Bellsprout, I’m going to snap!”

“Bell,” Kenta mimed, closing his mouth almost immediately. Marina just screeched and ran away, wanting to murder the next thing that appeared in front of her.

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The two humans carrying the three Pokémon had finally left the Sprout Tower, Marina having vented her irritations on a Rattata that had been unfortunate to cross her way, and so the mood was rather better as they walked together to the POKéMON CENTER. “Hard to believe that place is so hard to climb…” Kenta muttered, trying to secure the knocked-out Korina in his arms. It was rather hard, given how Flammie kept trying to edge away from her.

“Yeah… it looked so simple, too; three floors, two stairways… it should have been obvious, right?” Marina replied, rather cheerfully again. Leda just looked sickly at the city around them, trying to keep herself still fine.

The rest of the short trip was rather boring and without much conversation people care about, so let’s just skip to the end. The POKéMON CENTER, a pristine building with a red ceiling and a large sign saying ‘POKéMON CENTER on the side, was quite close to the city exit – at least, the one that headed to Cherrygrove. The lights were on, indicating that they were still receiving trainers – a good thing, since they had nowhere else to stay and were too tired to look for some other place.

Plus it was the cheapest place in the city, but they didn’t need to say that outloud.

As they went inside, a pink-haired nurse smiled. “Why, hello there!” she greeted them, before she noticed the state of the Pokémon. “Wow, what happened here? Did you go face the Gym Leader and lost that badly?”

“Nah…” Kenta replied, calmly. “I just got out of the Sprout Tower. These Pokémon need recovery from the battles… can you please let them stay out of the Pokéballs for tonight?”

The nurse nodded. “Ah, sure! Just let me set the beds up… I presume you will be wanting to sleep here as well, right?” she asked, and the two nodded. “Very well, then. There’s a room on the second floor you two can use. Please enjoy your stay!”

As Marina took the key, Kenta prepared to walk towards the staircase as well, but he saw a strange-looking port to the side of the computers. “Huh?” he wondered, approaching it. Above, there was a sign saying ‘POKÉDEX PORT FOR UPDATE – PLEASE CONNECT YOUR POKÉDEX HERE’.

After reading the obvious text, he shrugged and set down his POKéDEX on the table, taking out a long cable and connecting it to the port. With that, he then proceeded to the staircase, following Marina.

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