Post your throwaway 'great lines'


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Let's face it. Basically all of us have stuff we've written that we'll never publish, fanfiction wise or original writing (unless you're like some people and don't write at all, just read). In the process, though, there are no small number of lines or paragraphs that doubtlessly leave you tickled and wishing you had managed to publish it.

Blah blah blah if you have a line you thought was suitably epic, funny, or just plain weird, post it here. Maybe provide context if you want.

I knew I had made a major mistake about ten minutes after allowing myself to be crowned Emperor.

No, not the being crowned part. Becoming an Emperor. Emperors unfailingly become evil dictators bent on conquering neighboring principalities. King wouldn’t work either, they’re the ones who get conquered.

Magistrate had a nice tune to it. A magistrate was a local judge, sworn to neutrality and whom did his best to benefit society from the bench. Besides, nobody has ever written an evil magistrate in fiction.


New Member
You made me and my friends suffer, oh wait, you don't know what a friend is, you only used us, this is the END
I don't think I've ever written anything good! Here's a line I sort of liked from an original fiction piece I threw away.

"Something kept catching the night before it fell."


California Crackpot
Baby Grace said:
I don't think I've ever written anything good! Here's a line I sort of liked from an original fiction piece I threw away.

"Something kept catching the night before it fell."
You know... I like that line. Can't say why, it just tickles me.
Well fuck... that wasn't supposed to happen at all. Kali stared at the... Thing. It was oblong and constantly rotating and stretching around two feet off the ground and it oozed a gelatinous red and orange substance that smelled of Tostito's Breakfast Rolls and rotten flesh. It appeared to have something resembling a face as it pulled itself together for a moment and then tore itself apart the next to form a whaling face. It had existed on her plane of existence for 392 seconds and she already wanted the strange horrid abomination gone. There was only one thing to do... Kali took a deep breath, gathered her tatted almost non-existant courage and grabbed her trusty broom "Gallyhoover" unscrewed the brush and poked the terrible thing. It SQUELCHED and emitted a whistle not unlike a tea kettle and started to spew steam. The black plastic of the broom handle started to mix in with the ooze adding the smell of burning plastic the the already "lovely" aroma filling the hallway."Urgh... Thats fucking rank." Kali muttered bring the sleeve of her army green janitorial uniform up to her face, heaving a heavy sigh "I don't get paid enough for this." Abandoning the broom and grabbing her standard issue radio issued to all janitorial,office, and military staff members she radioed security "This is Kali ***** Security clearance level 2 ID code M7543 reporting a containment breach on floor 9, the creature appears to be a red and orange gelatinous mass that smells of Tostito's Rolls and rotting flesh. It is seemingly floating two feet above the ground and is constantly changing shape it may or may not be dangerous. It ate my broom please send help"

- not so much a quote so much as a story I half way finished

Lord Raa

Exporter of Juice Tins
Something. No idea what I was thinking at the time, but felt it was interesting enough to keep rather than discard completely.


Genma Saotome was beginning to regret bringing his son to China on this training trip. While no-one could ever deny that his son, Ranma, was one of the finest martial artists and tactical minds of all time, he had a tendency to either charm knickers off or enrage people.

And it seemed that this isolated village of Amazon warriors were split down the middle.

“Ranma, what are you up to?” the stocky man asked himself as he noticed that his son was talking to some of the local maidens.


Lord Raa

Exporter of Juice Tins
Just spotted this, too:

“You make it sound like I have no idea what I’m doing, Ranma.”

“You got us cursed when we were in China! You spring an arranged marriage on me when we’re five minutes from the family of the girl you want me to marry! It sure as hell doesn’t look like it from where I’m standing!” the pigtailed youth countered, folding his arms across his chest.


Not The Goddamn @dmin
"You have been taught how to duel Harry Potter? We bow to each other, Harry. Come, the niceties must be observed… Dumbledore would like you to show manners… Bow to death, Harry… I said, bow- for death comes for you."

"I'm quite flattered, but perhaps I can show Death a few page 3 girls to come to."

Because you cannot have enough sassy Harry.


California Crackpot
Shirotsume said:
"You have been taught how to duel Harry Potter? We bow to each other, Harry. Come, the niceties must be observed… Dumbledore would like you to show manners… Bow to death, Harry… I said, bow- for death comes for you."

"I'm quite flattered, but perhaps I can show Death a few page 3 girls to come to."

Because you cannot have enough sassy Harry.
Made me laugh. Sassy Harry is the best.

Prince Charon

Well-Known Member
Not sure how great this is, but it's quite old, and pretty much all I can remember about this character:

"She doesn't kill for money. She doesn't kill for pleasure. She kills to join the man she loves... in Hell."


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'....and then he woke up.'

I've spent the last, oh...year hoping that's how this nightmare ends...but either I am a really heavy sleeper, or reality is a much nastier place than I ever feared.


Apparently a report-er
-You're an honourable man, Professor Dumbledore.
-Why, thank you, my lad.
-Yes; incidentally, honourable is spelled with the characters for 'shallow', 'unmarked' and 'grave' in the Elemental Nations.
(Says that after stabbing Dumbledore in the heart.)

The setting is a Naruto - HP crossover where Sasuke ends up in the other world somehow. Too bad this is the Sasuke that has just nearly killed Karin to get Danzo - this is in the first Voldemort war, and Voldy hires Sasuke to kill Dumbledore; maybe he was even the one who brought Sasuke to this world. Sasuke accepts because Voldemort holds the key for his return to his home world, or simply for the money - I'm not sure of the details.

He infiltrates Hogwarts... as a student, maybe? Sasuke is only 16 years old, and we know from the Draco debacle in the 6th book that Dumbledore has a major blind spot where it comes to the underage - he just can't see them as a threat. The Marauders are the same age as Sasuke here, as is Snape and Lily. (So, he ends up early in the Marauders' sixth year.)

He ends up accidentally befriending some of them; and betraying everyone, including Voldemort. So, standard CoH!Sasuke fare.

If you're curious, I thought up the premise.... a few minutes ago, with the 'great line' being the first thing I wrote. As I typed and edited, more parts of this snippet came to me. So yes, it's less a throwaway line borne of a story and more a throwaway idea that was borne of a 'great line'.
As long as If it aren't compensated by Superpowers, it's the only acceptable deviation from Human norm
-Ani Toonspiracy!Lex Luthor on Disabilities

All Happy Tree Friends that aren't Flippy, Splendid, Buddhist Monkey, The Mole, and of course me, run from the Battlefields


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"The great Buddha once said there are three thousand chiliocosms of worlds. Surely in one of them we will all meet again someday."

No context. My brain actually conjured this right up at the very end of a dream, and oddly enough it got the context correct for an extremely obscure word (chiliocosm). In the context where I would use it, it'd be where a group of friends are dispersed, either from saying their goodbyes or because somebody died. It would essentially mean 'I believe in reincarnation, and that someday our reincarnations will all come together again.'

Lord Raa

Exporter of Juice Tins
There had to be an investigation. Someone had to hang for this outrage, and Jeremiah Gottwald was damned sure it wasn’t going to be him!


Well-Known Member
"Who—who are you?"
"I am God. And I have the power to make the ideal, real."
Some weird blargh I had. I might use it in a The World God Only Knows fic if I ever write one, though.


The Original M2J
So, on Twisting the Hellmouth and FF.Net, I have a series of Buffy/DC/MCU Crossover fics that I've been working on. The premise of the series is typically Halloween fic cliche that during the Halloween Episode of Buffy, our heroes dressed as DC characters and then the higher powers called for a universal reset due to the upset balance. This caused the Buffy Characters to merge with their DC costumes and get sent to the MCU.

This scene, that I hope to publish one day, takes place after Thanos' Snap and the Benatar has been recovered with Ironman and Nebula in it and taken back to Earth. They relay that the various Lantern Corps are gearing up for mass intergalactic war as a result of the mass sudden death of half the universe and that Xander/Batman went his separate way with a Yellow Lantern and Red Lantern Power Rings to possibly stop the war and maybe reverse what Thanos did. As a result, Dawn, Vi, Shazam, Raven and Static Shock are all leaving Earth to go in search of Xander because what's left of the Avengers and Justice League have pretty much given up and he's their only beacon of hope left- especially with Buffy/Superwoman having been snapped away.

Space... The Final Frontier...
These are the voyages of the starship 'Astraeus'...
Our five year mission: To seek out new life and new civilizations,
And to boldly g-

"Violet, what the hell are you doing!?" asked Dawn.

"This is a space ship and I'm the captain... I'm doing the Captain's Log!" Vi replied with no small amount of annoyance.

"Vi..." Dawn began exasperatedly. "This is real life, not Star Wars..."

"Star... Seriously!? Star Trek, not Star Wars, you uncultured philistine!" Vi shouted indignantly.

"Whatever... Kirk," Dawn replied in irritation.

"I'm Picard if anything. I'm ready to go out and make friends with every alien species we meet, not end up in bed with them," Vi protested. "I don't do tentacles!"

"Now THAT's an image that will keep me up at night," Billy said with a snicker and a grin, elbowing Virgil suggestively.

Raven hid herself underneath her hooded cloak in embarrassment, as if trying to convey to Miss Waller and Mr. Fox that she wasn't with any of these people. "I need new friends..."
Another from my Justice League: Hellmouth Series... Xander/Batman's Lantern Oath

Through Brightest Night and Darkest Day...
JUSTICE Shall Have the Final Say...
Because the Flames of Vengeance Fuel My Light...
Beware the Batman... The Infinite Knight!


Well-Known Member
“What is he afraid of?”

“Afraid of?”

“You know, his fears. The things that terrify him. His phobias.”

“His fears? He doesn’t really have any. He has lived long enough and is ruthless enough at crushing his weaknesses that he would have worked over any psychological problems he ever possessed.”

“There must be something!”

“…I think there is. His fear of the narrative.”

“The—the what? The narrative?”

“Yes. He overwhelmingly fears the possibility that his entire life has been him dancing on some otherworldly entity’s strings. That every little bit of good that he has done and attempted to do was planned out for him. That no matter how great his actions have been, that he continues to be merely a cog in some greater narrative…”

“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard!”

“…I believe you ponies call this destiny.”
Scratch out the 'ponies' in the final line for 'people' if you want, since this was originally an unwritten scene I had in mind for a pony fic


Apparently a report-er
"People, including evil wizards, don't often like being under the control of another."

A line about a tyrant that is overthrown not by plucky rebels, but by his fellow terrible mages. It's not meant to be fandom-specific.


Well-Known Member
In response to a vampire's complaint that being trapped in a cage of sunlight in the middle of the night by an apparently ordinary computer hacker is 'impossible"--

"Yeah, not so much. See, I'm what some call a mage. Don't really use the term much myself, actually, but there you go. And the thing about mages-- maguses? magi?-- is that we've kinda figured out a couple of things you dead guys haven't. Actually, you can't, because you're, well, dead, and when you died any shot at that little realization died with you. And the first thing is, to a mage, well, reality is a matter of opinion."

"And the other?" asked the vampire, while trying to find a way out of the trap.

"Well, again, reality is a matter of opinion-- and yours doesn't count."


from a long planned but long abandoned Mage: The Awakening adventure I half-wrote decades ago.


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Honestly, I have to pull the revised Unlimited Blade Works chant I did for Fate/Black Dawn.

“I have come from across the sea of time-”

“Pursuing endlessly, hunting endlessly-”

“I have created over a thousand blades-”

“Knowing Loss-”

“Knowing Victory-”

“Making a miracle of human hands-”

“I have no regrets. This is the path I’ve chosen.”

“My whole life was Unlimited Blade Works.”


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“The first strike disrupts the body’s magical leylines. The second strike cracks open the rib cage. The third strike liquefies the lower organs. The fourth strike shreds the lungs. The fifth strike causes the heart to explode.”
A variation of the Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique I might use, but instead of dealing with pressure points, it's just flat-out escalating severity of damage with each strike. Probably against entities that can regenerate and laugh off a lot of damage and need something with overkill.
I remember seeing a Buffy fic, where due to a bet with Xander, Buffy went as The Bride from "Kill Bill". When the mayor confronted them in the library before graduation, she used it on him, but because he was invincible at the point, it didn't work. Of course when graduation came and he lost his invincibility when he was set to become an Old One, he died right there on the spot.

Lord Raa

Exporter of Juice Tins
Unfortunately, there were drought stricken parts of the globe that were less thirsty than the Princess Amalla Suu.