Bleach Postcards from the Edge

Fosfor

Well-Known Member
#1
This might seem a little unusual for me, especially given it isn't exactly long, but it is a one-shot broken into snippets. Or would be, if not for a fact that each snippet is sort-of continuation, only not and not really a standalone. As the title says, those are the 'postcards' from Ichigo's life after Winter War onwards, told a little differently than my usual take on it.

It will jump all around, though remain somewhat chronological. But style pacing and atmosphere will change, so be warned.

To be honest, I don't really know why I wrote it. I just felt like it, and it came on its own while writing the next chapters of Warborn.

There will be more, since I have plenty of more 'postcards' to write, so to speak, and it does have some loose central plot, so don't complain it is short.

Thanks go to Vasey, MageOhki and Aleh for pre-reading the first version.

Edited by Skelethin.


Enjoy.


***

Postcards from the Edge

***

#1

"Edge"

*

He never really put away the sword.

To be honest, he thought about it, but that was before the trip to Hueco Mundo. He had a plan then - get Orihime back, beat Aizen, beat Grimmjaw, beat whatever and whoever got he hell in his way there with prejudice until they understood that fucking with his friends was a way to an early grave. Then he'd go back and everything would be like normal.

He wasn't blind - a hotspot for Hollows Karakura might have been, but it was his power, his prancing around like a moron leaking reiatsu like leaky faucet left and right that almost got his friends killed. Hell, even that first Hollow came to the clinic looking for him. So... he'd just stop. Or make them stop.

Gotei 13, all things considered did a good job so far, so after Aizen... well, who the hell needed a substitute shinigami with a goddamn bankai running around? The resident shinigami did a good enough job - the only reason he came out to hunt hollows was more a habit than anything else. Well, that and the fact his shunpo was up to snuff and he got to the hollows before any normal officer could. But hell, it was their job, not his. He was the substitute. He was alive. He didn't need to waste his nights running around when there were perfectly capable people out there getting paid full-time to do it.

So he'd stop. He'd hang out with Chad, he'd stop lying to Tatsuki and he'd punch Keigo out when he got annoying. He'd needle Ishida without any of that 'grr, I'm a Quincy, you're a shinigami - we're enemies!' thing and he'd listen to Orihime going on weirdest of tangents as Chizuru tried to get a good grope or two. Hell, he'd even hang out with Renji and Rukia - he had no doubt about that. They were friends, right? Nakama.

He had no idea just how much the trip to Hueco Mundo would change him. Them.

He didn't know when he stopped treating his inner hollow as a nuisance and started to tune in to the guy, so to speak. Wait. No. That was a lie. He knew.

Grimmjaw.

Stupid bastard, no doubt about it, but he was right. It was time to stop lying to yourself and face the facts - he might have fought for a reason, but he also enjoyed it. He, Grimmjaw, Zaraki... they were the same breed, no matter how different they seemed. Ichigo sometimes wondered if all shinigami weren't like that - zanpakuto were a part of one's soul after all, and they were weapons in the end.

It didn't bother him. Quite frankly, he even liked the idea a bit. He was no maniac, but hell - give him a good scrap any day! There was a reason 11th had a Senkaimon reserved for him after all. It was, technically, illegal, but even Soi Fon, stuck up as she was, didn't rise a fuss. Well, considering it kept Zaraki entertained and in a good mood, he didn't blame them.

So... he kept the sword and didn't let it rust. He kept Kon around, he kept the badge and he even got a cellphone. Paperwork was taken care of by the 13th, so it was no big deal. Hell, he'd probably take it even if there was paperwork involved - it did a guy some good to grab Zangetsu after a stressful day and let the Getsuga Tenshou steal the shine from the jealous moon as it howled with joy only a warrior could understand.

He was naive, though. Everything that was supposed to be normal... wasn't.

Ichigo didn't know what awaited them after the Winter War, as it became known in Soul Society. He clung to his delusions for some time, but they were just that. He hung out with Chad, sure. He punched Keigo, he didn't need to go on and lie every goddamn two words talking with Tatsuki... hell - she punched him a good one a few times! Well, she tried.

Tatsuki's face as she stared at her bleeding knuckles...

She wasn't even angry or anything, apologizing and stuff but...

But Ichigo knew.

Hierro.

The steel skin arrancar were so proud of.

His Hierro.

Tatsuki never punched him again for fun after that and, odd as it was, it... stung. But that was just... superficial. Because he'd sit with Chad and Orihime and Keigo would do stupid shit and they'd be having fun and then Ishida would drop a word, or he or even Oriime... and it was like a world of their own as they swung the pendulum back to the battlefield and the people around them just didn't get it. Because when Chizuru tried to grab 'her Hime', the lovable yet ditzy woman just wasn't there. She didn't move or anything she just...

Oh sure. Ichigo could get it. Hell. Orohime wasn't even all that fast. It was just... a nudge. A half-step, a tiniest of leans and bang - hugged the dirt, Chizuru did. And Orihime prattled on, not even noticing, while Tatsuki, the good ol' warrior maiden Tatsuki, stared, and rubbed her knuckles she broke over his Hierro. And there was that look. She'd just... stare, not saying a thing. Orihime, bless her kind soul, would blink and smile at her shyly and Tatsuki would pretend it was all okay.

Then she'd rub her knuckles when she thought no one was looking.

Chad noticed, of course. Guy was sharp, sharper than anyone gave him credit for, but there'd be no problem. There never was with Chad, the El Directo.

Ishida never said a word about it either. He just pushed up his glasses, and Ginrei Kojaku pendant on his wrist glinted that tiny bit before disappearing in the folds again.

And then it'd pass and they'd be just students sitting on a roof and sharing lunch. A world of their fucking own, indeed.

It was okay, though. Nakama, right? Tatsuki got it right. Sharp girl, Ichigo always knew she was. But it was fine. Even when he saw her, one night, sneaking to Urahara Shoten... it was fine. He didn't linger. He owed her that much, at least.

She, in turn, didn't rise too much of a fuss when he tried to let Orihime down gently. He loved her, he honestly did - he just wasn't in love with her. He'd move heaven and earth, he'd fucking go Bankai and let the mask hiss gleefully in that distorted way against the entire Gotei 13 - all that and more for her but...

Yeah.

It was like that.

Orihime, kind and lovable Orihime understood, and gave him a kiss tasting of rain and and cherries and tabasco sauce.

They shared a bond nothing could break, after all.

But fuck, he wasn't going to kiss Ishida, Chad or Renji any time soon - just for the record. Rukia... well, you never knew with Rukia. She'd might freeze him, punch him or, what was worse, let him.

And then paint it hardcore Chappy-style afterwards and display it proudly for everyone to see.

His Hollow, the bastard, laughed for weeks at the mental image.

***


*

#2

"Royal Decree"

*

The end of school caught him by surprise. It just... sort of came around. No fanfares, no real excitement. Exams start, exam end - thank you, you've graduated, goodbye.

It was when they sat on the roof for the last time Ichigo realized he really had no idea what to do with himself. He applied for college more out of inertia than anything else really. Picking history was more of a lottery than anything else. It wasn't like he needed the money - the payoff for the whole mess with Aizen left him with a huge wad of cash after it was converted to a bounty and put in his substitute shinigami license account.

Hell, even if he didn't touch it, his Hollow kill count alone got him a nice nest egg for the next ten years even before he hit seventeen. Still, he hunted. He got Chad on the game - god knew that guy could use some spending cash and Shunsui was quite willing to shell out a license for the El Directo man for some reason. Sure, it came with an asauchi, but then Chad didn't mind. One night of work paid the rent for the whole month after all and Urahara didn't even rip them off all that much when exchanging it from Seireitei currency.

So they hunted: the Substitute and the El Directo Man.

Ichigo had to admit that seeing Chad punch the hollow out and then carefully poke with the asauchi to purify it was damn amusing. The standard, nameless asauchi looked just so damn... tiny in his friends' big hands.

It killed the time, it got them cash... and hell, it was fun. Kinda tame after their trip to Seireitei or Hueco Mundo, but then he wasn't exactly asking for the next Aizen to come around, 'God Am I' attitude and all.

One was enough, thank you very much.

He got enough megalomaniacal - and just plain maniacal - tendencies from his inner Hollow.

Well, he used to until the graduation anyway.

While the school ended without fanfare, his inner bastard made up for it quite a bit.

The visit was quick and to the point. The negative boy didn't even try to hurl insults around or goad him.

"It's time, King. You've been letting me rust here for long enough. I gave you some space, but this is as far as it goes. Time to pay the piper."

Tessai's binding Kido weren't strong enough, so Urahara chipped in. This time, the guy didn't laugh or wave his fan. He just used the Tenteikuura to recall Yoruichi from her usual wanderings.

Three captain level shinigami created a barrier in a room surrounded by the deathstone.

Nel, usually so fond of her Urahara Shoten apron, came in white, and her usual enthusiasm at his presence was replaced by a calm, somber view.

This was not Nel of Urahara Shoten, the 'domesticated harem girl arrancar' as Urahara referred to her jokingly, which usually left Ichigo groaning and Yoruichi laughing.

It was Neliel Tu Oderschvank, the Tercera Espada.

Contrary to others, she and Yoruichi, usually so carefree, were the calm ones. Deathly so.

Ichigo was grateful and said as much.

Orihime didn't look him in the eyes when she used Shun Shun Rikka to put the final barrier.

*

"So, King," His Hollow, as was his wont, was grinning. "Here we are at last."

"So we are."

Zangetsu - both of them - rested on their backs, which was a surprise. Usually the white maniac was spinning the sword and cackling madly in anticipation of conflict.

"Bah. You're still as depressin' as ever, King." The hollow sneered. "This might be your last battle, show some fuckin' interest! Look alive, your majesty! Your reign's ending! Savor it!" The walking negative cackled. "I certainly am!"

"Right back at you." Ichigo smirked.

"Well lookie here... got some claws, King? Eh?" The Hollow, hands in his pockets, started to walk leisurely forward. "That won't help ya. You ain't all that bad, King but thing is, I'm better. I'm the good stuff. The rage. The battle lust. The fury." He drew his Zangetsu slowly, before spinning it over his head. "The imagination. Don't worry, King. I won't let all that power go to waste, like you would." The white-clad copy grinned. "Hell, I'll have a fucking ball right after I get out!" He laughed. "Thanks for that, by the way! Mighty thoughtful of you to get me the party favors for a birthday!" He licked his lips. "Fun all the fucking way! Happy fucking birthday for me, eh?"

"Keep dreaming." Ichigo snorted. "You ain't getting out. And even if you did... Yoruichi-san taught me, idiot. She knows me inside out. There is also Chad, and Nel... Tercera Espada, rings any bells?"

"Really, King... you should have know better than that by now!" The demented grin became wide enough to split the man's face. "All that shit weighing you down... I thought you got rid of that in Hueco Mundo and grew some fucking balls." The monster sneered. "You really didn't learn anything, did you?!" The monster raised his sword, the glint of the blade so familiar that Ichigo didn't even need to see it to know the Getsuga that was forming. "Someone like you being the King-!"

There it was.

Ichigo knew it instinctively.

That one, crucial moment.

They were reflections of each other, no matter how warped each viewed the other as. They were one. What one knew, the other did. They could spend needless hours hacking at each other with Zangetsu and bleeding bit by bit until there was nothing left but...

But there was one crucial difference.

"You got one thing right." Ichigo grinned as the Hollow lunged at him. "I AM the king. And this is my fucking royal decree!"

"You think It'll help you?! Dream on!" The white copy growled. "That thing is MINE and will never work on m-"

Ichigo's grin widened as his fingers, sparking with an odd hue of violet, rose up.

The Hollow's eyes became pinpricks as the understanding dawned.

Too late. All too late.

"Gran Rey Cero, bitch!" Ichigo howled with a maniacal grin, before letting the blast loose at his own face.

The world exploded in violet.

*

It was a complete overkill - he knew it from the start. But that's exactly what it was all about.

The mask didn't just crumble - it was utterly _vaporised_.

"...go! ICHIGO!"

...along with his clothes, the sand, demon art barriers, half of the landscape and shit knew what else, but there was a lot of said shit, of that he was quite sure.

"...mkay..." He slurred, trying to get up from that water... uh, what water...?

He looked down, only to notice molten..

"...izatglasss?" the naked shinigami said drunkenly, poking the semi-liquid substance. "...whoa."

Yoruichi hefted him up, while Nel stared at the hole, poking it with her sword.

"What the HELL did you do, brat?" The dusky skinned woman growled, looking him over for injuries, wincing at the multiple gashes and burns. Ichigo looked as if someone went Kurohitsugi on him. Twice. It was, quite frankly, a miracle that the huge violet.. something didn't vaporise any vital organs.

"Royal decree...." Ichigo waved his two fingers - or tried to. "I'mmaking, yanno?"

Yoruichi blinked, laying him on the ground away form the crater and employing some healing kido for the worst wounds, while Nel looked at Ichigo incredulously.

"Poooof!" He let his fingers set out a spark that sailed away lazily, before touching a nearby rock... and vaporising it instantly. "...oho. Shnyyy..." Ichigo murmured, his eyes unfocused.

"...okay. what the _hell_ was that?!" Yoruichi snapped.

"...ah. if I had to guess... Gran Rey... bala?" Nel hazarded, staring at the crater dumbly. "Well... sort of?"

"Wait. If that was..." Yoruichi froze, before looking down at her patient. Taking down the final barriers - even with Orihime's help - was going to take a while, which was why she and Nel took residence between them, just in case the hollow won or if Ichigo won... more or less like he won right now. Meaning bleeding, smoking and in pieces - usual Kurosaki Ichigo fare. "If that's bala... then that means the huge waste of Reiatsu we saw...?"

"Gran Rey Cero." The arrancar nodded, biting her lip as she watched Ichigo's injuries. "A very powerful one."

Yoruichi's eyebrow twitched.

"...that... idiot..." Her fingers twitched towards the the bleeding man's neck. "You fired Gran Rey Cero at your own FA....ce...?" The fury left her voice as her eyes widened to resemble dinner plates. "...oh."

"Hehehe....!" Ichigo grinned drunkenly. "It wuzz 'wsome...! Who's your fckn' daddy now, eh?! Grn Rrrrey Cero, bitch! Ahahaha-ghurkk... ouh...!" He gurgled and Yoruichi shook her stupor enough to restart the healing Kido.

"...you goddamn sneaky little...!" Yoruichi murmured,a slow grin appearing on her face. "Here we were going on and on how to make sure you were dominant and you just...!"

"Off wizz hiz head...!" Ichigo grinned, pointing two fingers upwards weakly. "Bang...!" the blond started cackling madly, interrupted by the occasional wheeze.

The two women, one shinigami and one arrancar, stared at each other incredulously.

Even despite her protege's sorry state, Yoruichi couldn't help it, nor could Nel.

She snorted.

Neliel tried to resist her lips twitching, only to double over.

A strangled chuckle erupted from her throat before she started to laugh in the earnest, followed by Yoruichi.

Ichigo fainted, still grinning like a loon, the violet sparks dancing on his fingers.

***


AN:

For those who are curious, yes Ichigo just blew up his Hollow mask, killed the inner Hollow and retained all the powers. If the brute force isn't solving your problem you obviously need a Gran Rey Cero. A wonderful example of Ichigo-logic at work. Kenpachi would be proud.
 

warai_kitsune

Well-Known Member
#2
Fosfor said:
Ichigo had to admit that seeing Chad punch the hollow out and then carefully poke with the asauchi to purify it was damn amusing. The standard, nameless asauchi looked just so damn... tiny in his friends' big hands.
That right there was the funniest part for me, mostly because I could so easily see Chad doing that, with a completely serious, deadpan expression on his face.

As for the fic? I like; in all honesty, it's nice to see you branching out to other series than Naruto.
 

grant

Well-Known Member
#3
Sounds like Ichigo'd be controversial in SS, for relatively good reason.
 

Fosfor

Well-Known Member
#4
warai_kitsune said:
Fosfor said:
Ichigo had to admit that seeing Chad punch the hollow out and then carefully poke with the asauchi to purify it was damn amusing. The standard, nameless asauchi looked just so damn... tiny in his friends' big hands.
That right there was the funniest part for me, mostly because I could so easily see Chad doing that, with a completely serious, deadpan expression on his face.

As for the fic? I like; in all honesty, it's nice to see you branching out to other series than Naruto.
You do know that, more or less, Bleach is where I started, right? Well save for that horrible Fate/Stay Night fic I'll probably never finish since I dont' know much about F/SN save the anime and a horde of people devoted to it will scream and rant about inconsitencies if I so much as tried. That one doesn't count. It was both utterly bad and not likely to be finished.

I wouldn't call it branchning out. My two Ranma fics I'm writing now, now that's branching out. I have never written a Ranma fic before.
 

Thardoc

Well-Known Member
#5
Hmm.... Fosfor + ranma fic... I won't lie, those two stories will be very interesting..
 

violetshadows

Well-Known Member
#6
Seeing Fosfor write Ranma fiction...that would be awesome, but maybe I'm just thinking of Reload ala Ranma 1/2 with Ryouga as Naruto and Ranma as Sasu-chan. Anyway, awesome fic, Ichigo's diolouge after he killed his hollow was freaking priceless.
 

DeathGod666

Well-Known Member
#7
violetshadows said:
Reload ala Ranma 1/2 with Ryouga as Naruto and Ranma as Sasu-chan.
while cool in Naruto that really doesn't sit well with me in Ranma :sick:

Also Fosfor very cool

I liked how you showed the changes in the 'Nakama' after Hueco Mundo with Ichigo being invunerable even while human and the others skills just overall increase

And yes the Chad part I though was hilarious as well :snigger:
 

zeebee1

Well-Known Member
#8
I have the feeling that Soul Society won't be too enthusiastic about going after Ichigo. They seem to be bending and breaking the rules for him in this.
 

Nikas_Zekeval

Well-Known Member
#9
Fosfor said:
But there was one crucial difference.

"You got one thing right." Ichigo grinned as the Hollow lunged at him. "I AM the king. And this is my fucking royal decree!"

"You think It'll help you?! Dream on!" The white copy growled. "That thing is MINE and will never work on m-"

Ichigo's grin widened as his fingers, sparking with an odd hue of violet, rose up.

The Hollow's eyes became pinpricks as the understanding dawned.

Too late. All too late.

"Gran Rey Cero, bitch!" Ichigo howled with a maniacal grin, before letting the blast loose at his own face.

The world exploded in violet.

*

It was a complete overkill - he knew it from the start. But that's exactly what it was all about.

The mask didn't just crumble - it was utterly _vaporised_.

[snip]

"Off wizz hiz head...!" Ichigo grinned, pointing two fingers upwards weakly. "Bang...!" the blond started cackling madly, interrupted by the occasional wheeze.
When did Ichigo read "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates"?

Specifically his 'Royal Decree' :snigger: referenced the following rules:
6. If violence wasnÆt your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it.
27. Don't be afraid to be the first to resort to violence.
30. A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.
31. Only cheaters prosper. (the whole sucker punch Cero for these two)
34. If youÆre leaving scorch-marks, you need a bigger gun.
37. There is no 'overkill.' There is only 'open fire' and 'time to reload.'
 

Tsuki_CB

Well-Known Member
#10
Considering that Fosfor's first Ranma is an incarnation of Genbu with control of all things water I really would be interested in seeing his other....but not above the Lotus side story...
 

Latewave

Well-Known Member
#11
Is that story on TFF?
I didn't see under the topics he started.
 

Karnath

Well-Known Member
#12
lightwave said:
Is that story on TFF?
I didn't see under the topics he started.
The story is Lotus it's in the Harry Potter section, Ranma appears in chapter 3.
 
#13
That was great.
 
#14
It was awesome. My favorite part was the Royal Decree. And I can see Ichigo just signing up for a history major due to not having anything else better to do.

Hell, considering the age of the Shinigami, he could write a few books from their experiences living and make money off that too.
 
#15
Andrew Joshua Talon said:
It was awesome. My favorite part was the Royal Decree. And I can see Ichigo just signing up for a history major due to not having anything else better to do.

Hell, considering the age of the Shinigami, he could write a few books from their experiences living and make money off that too.
Hey, I'm doing History and Classical Studies...

It's not exactly something you do because you have nothing else to do. :rant:
 

violetshadows

Well-Known Member
#16
Hey, I'm doing History and Classical Studies...

It's not exactly something you do because you have nothing else to do.?
Maybe he should have made him a communications major, he is a bit of a jock (though it is hard to call a shinigami a jock)
 

Fosfor

Well-Known Member
#17
violetshadows said:
Hey, I'm doing History and Classical Studies...

It's not exactly something you do because you have nothing else to do.á
Maybe he should have made him a communications major, he is a bit of a jock (though it is hard to call a shinigami a jock)
Actually, given he has very high marks in school (all of Ichigo's crew do - Chad being the best, Orihime being a honors student, as odd as it seems while Ishida is straight A all the way and a Crafts Club member like Orihime) he isn't exactly a jock.
 

violetshadows

Well-Known Member
#18
Actually, given he has very high marks in school (all of Ichigo's crew do - Chad being the best, Orihime being a honors student, as odd as it seems while Ishida is straight A all the way and a Crafts Club member like Orihime) he isn't exactly a jock.
My bad, Its been like a year and a half since I've really watched Bleach so I'm a bit sketchy when it comes to minor background info like that.
 

trevelyan1983

Well-Known Member
#19
Fosfor said:
Actually, given he has very high marks in school (all of Ichigo's crew do - Chad being the best, Orihime being a honors student, as odd as it seems while Ishida is straight A all the way and a Crafts Club member like Orihime) he isn't exactly a jock.
I'm glad someone pointed that out. Always annoys me to see people assume Ichigo is stupid, when he's anything but.

Blunt and straightforward? Yes.

Bad at putting names with faces? Certainly.

Newbie Shinigami? You bet'cha.

Dumb? Uh-uh. No way.

Anyway, that was good. It was funny enough in places to have me laughing out loud, detailed enough to let me imagine the scenes <s>especially Chad poking Hollows</s> and an excellent example of life being "what happened when I was busy doing stuff."
 

Harlequin

Well-Known Member
#20
I do believe I caught a hint of Tatsuki getting her own powers there, since you mentioned her sneaking into the Urahara. I dug the entire Gran Rey Cero bit.
 

SoftRogue

Well-Known Member
#21
You know, everyone is going on about how great the "Royal Decree" was, but I personally think the best line was this...

But fuck, he wasn't going to kiss Ishida, Chad or Renji any time soon - just for the record. Rukia... well, you never knew with Rukia. She'd might freeze him, punch him or, what was worse, let him.

And then paint it hardcore Chappy-style afterwards and display it proudly for everyone to see.
Hardcore Chappy-Style FTW! :rofl:
 

warai_kitsune

Well-Known Member
#22
Fosfor said:
warai_kitsune said:
Fosfor said:
Ichigo had to admit that seeing Chad punch the hollow out and then carefully poke with the asauchi to purify it was damn amusing. The standard, nameless asauchi looked just so damn... tiny in his friends' big hands.
That right there was the funniest part for me, mostly because I could so easily see Chad doing that, with a completely serious, deadpan expression on his face.

As for the fic? I like; in all honesty, it's nice to see you branching out to other series than Naruto.
You do know that, more or less, Bleach is where I started, right? Well save for that horrible Fate/Stay Night fic I'll probably never finish since I dont' know much about F/SN save the anime and a horde of people devoted to it will scream and rant about inconsitencies if I so much as tried. That one doesn't count. It was both utterly bad and not likely to be finished.

I wouldn't call it branchning out. My two Ranma fics I'm writing now, now that's branching out. I have never written a Ranma fic before.
I've read Warborn, and most of your other Bleach Fics, so I know this isn't the first time you've done anything in this series. It was more that the vast majority of your work is and has been in the Naruto universe.
 

Shaderic

Well-Known Member
#23
Fosfor said:
warai_kitsune said:
Fosfor said:
Ichigo had to admit that seeing Chad punch the hollow out and then carefully poke with the asauchi to purify it was damn amusing. The standard, nameless asauchi looked just so damn... tiny in his friends' big hands.
That right there was the funniest part for me, mostly because I could so easily see Chad doing that, with a completely serious, deadpan expression on his face.

As for the fic? I like; in all honesty, it's nice to see you branching out to other series than Naruto.
You do know that, more or less, Bleach is where I started, right? Well save for that horrible Fate/Stay Night fic I'll probably never finish since I dont' know much about F/SN save the anime and a horde of people devoted to it will scream and rant about inconsitencies if I so much as tried. That one doesn't count. It was both utterly bad and not likely to be finished.

I wouldn't call it branchning out. My two Ranma fics I'm writing now, now that's branching out. I have never written a Ranma fic before.
Dude, you just need to consult with someone who knows FS/N well. There's plenty of people on the board to do that with. You've got a good start, and while it could do with some touching up, that's mostly format. It's also a good and fairly original idea to work with.

Plus, there's not really enough good FS/N fanfiction. Just talk with one of the people who really knows it, and I'm sure that they'd be perfectly willing to help you out. I'm doing that IRL for Comic Club. Except it's more martial arts than stuff like FS/N, but we have people in the club that are surprisingly knowledgeable, so when I'm writing for a comic, I'll go talk to them.

Yes, I realize my FF may suck, but my OF is decent, and not too shabby when converted to comic form by an artist.

Furthermore, I'm curious if you actually had more than a premise planned for that one. wait, you said you did. Nevermind that then.
 
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