Akamatsuverse Preview of "Everlasting"

[SimmyC]

What's this? I have a fic ready to preview? Well, keyword there is preview and not completed... :unsure: But hey, I finally got something done in the past month of so. ^_^ After all, 'real life' has been sucking all my free time here. <_<

Anyways... this story is... well, crack induced. :rofl: Might not be as nuts as say F1's usual offerings, but well, it is certainly odd. Though this part hasn't gotten to that section yet (I would write more, but remember my 'real life' problem? I have to get up semi-early for that. In other words, I have work).

But enough delay... on with the preview!

Hinata Sou - Hallway

Another cool quiet morning in Hinata, a small town on the outskirts of Tokyo, where nothing out of the ordinary ever seems to happens.

ôPERVERT!ö

ôAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!ö

àwell, in a town where this is a common sight, it certainly isnÆt æout of the ordinaryÆ.

ôStupid Keitaro!ö Naru said incensed. Her fist was still shaking after what Keitaro tried to do to her. ôHow dare he tried to grab a feel! Pervert!ö Grab a feel of her ample bosom. Well, ample compared to just a few of the guest granted (obviously Kitsune beats her here by a mile in this category).

ôYou sure he tried to grab your boob Naru?ö Haruka said behind her, startling the aspiring Todai hopeful. ôI mean, you sure it wasnÆt the fact that there was a spill from SuÆs drink when she was doing cartwheels with it and he just tripped on it?ö

ôàö NaruÆs anger slowly began to dissipate. However, she refused to back down from her accusation. ôWell, that could be true. Butà IÆm sure he planned it anyways.ö

Haruka took a puff from her cigarette before she raised her hand in defeat before a voice spoke up behind her.

ôBeen a while since IÆve been here.ö An old nearly horse voice said.

Naru shot her head towards the sound of the voice. ôGrandma Hina?ö

Haruka slowly turned her head. If she was shocked or stunned by HinaÆs sudden appearance, it wasnÆt shown on her face. ôSo, you decided to reappear now?ö

Hina shrugged her shoulders. ôWell, I couldnÆt find what I was looking for.ö She said as she stared at Haruka with a cold piercing glace. ôBut besides that, I have put this off for far too long. I something to tell everyone, particularly Keitaro.ö Hina swept her head from side to side. ôSpeaking of Keitaro, where is he?ö

ôDoing a little sightseeing from the air.ö Haruka offhandedly mentioned. ôBut heÆll be back in a few minutes.ö

ôGood.ö Hina nodded. She then turned to Naru who was still too stunned by the sudden reappearance of the Hinata SouÆs true owner and previous manager before she went on some wild trip around the world to try out all of the hot springs in the world. ôNaru, please call everyone into the main room. IÆll wait for Keitaro to arrive first before I make my announcement.ö

ôVery well.ö Haruka nodded. She waited for Hina left before she turned to Naru. ôYou heard the girl, gather everyone into the main room. She has an important announcement.ö

Naru blinked a few times before she realized that Haruka was speaking to her. ôHuh? Oh yeah. IÆll get themàö That was when she realized something odd about the way Haruka addressed Hina. æGirl? Why would Haruka call Hina a girl? Bah! Maybe that is HarukaÆs way of making Hina feel better about her age! Butà she isnÆt in the room at the momentàÆ

ôWell?ö Haruka said, tapping her foot impatiently.

ôAh!ö Naru startled out of her musing. ôOkay! IÆll get them!ö

Haruka let out a long stream of smoke from her mouth. ôWell, going to come out eventually.ö She said as she made her way to the main room.

-Laterà

Stairway up to the Hinata Sou

ôMustÆve caught on an off day.ö Keitaro said as he moped back up the steps. ôUsually I land past the park.ö As he slowly approached the top of the stairs, he noticed someone waiting for him. ôNaru?ö

ôTook you long enough.ö Naru said with her arms crossed.

ôTook me long enough? Well it took me a while to get down from the tree.ö Keitaro said in his defense. He picked a few leaves off his sweater to emphasis the point. ôAnd than I fell on this woà I mean I hit the hard ground!ö Keitaro lightly chuckled hoping that Naru didnÆt catch what he was trying to say. While he hated lying to Naru, at the same time, he just returned from one of NaruÆs trips. He didnÆt feel walking up the stairs a second time today.

ôPddt. Whatever.ö Naru said as she narrowed her eyes. ôI noticed the ground mustÆve somehow made that huge red mark on your face that looks suspiciously like a fist. IÆm pretty sure I didnÆt do that.ö

ôBut but butàö Keitaro frantically waved his arms ahead of him. ôI didnÆt mean it! It was Chizuru anyways! That flaming lesàö

Naru slapped her face. ôStop before he dig yourself a deeper hole Keitaro!ö Naru took a deep breath before continuing. ôAnyways, thatÆs not important right now Keitaro.ö NaruÆs deadly tone was replaced with a more somber tone. ôGrandma Hina is here.ö

ôGrandmaà?ö KeitaroÆs terror was quickly replaced by at first hope. ôThan that means that sheà sheàö Keitaro than saw NaruÆs expression, a sinking feeling washed over him. ôNaru? Why is she here? What did she say?ö

Naru quickly frowned by KeitaroÆs questions. ôHey! DonÆt look at me like that idiot! Besidesàö She turned her head back. ôShe hasnÆt made her announcement yet since she was waiting for you.ö

ôOh.ö Keitaro simply said as he gulped. æWhat could Grandma Hina want? The last he heard of her was when she wanted to give Keitaro the management duties of the Hinata Sou while she was away. There has been speculation that she would give him ownership of the dorm if he gets into Todai. ButàÆ

ôWell? DonÆt you want to hear the announcement or not?!ö Naru said in a dark tone. ôHurry up and get in!ö

ôAh! Yeah! Yeah! I want to hear it!ö Keitaro said as he raced up the last remaining steps and entered the Hinata Sou, awaiting his fate. In the back of his mind, he had a bad feeling about what was to come. But whatever Grandma Hina had to say, it couldnÆt be as bad as pissing off Naru for the second time today.

Right?

-------

That's it for now. :unsure: Again, I would write more but real life is getting in the way at the moment.
:headbanger:

And if you haven't guessed, yup! It is the Cousin!Hina fics idea that I have talked about. :evil: So, what do you think of what I have so far? I know it isn't much, but again, real life...

Oh, and if you ask where's Fallen Blade? Well... don't ask. h43r:

 

[SMWhat]

I guess I liked it, except for the "flaming lesbian" comment. I mean, I really can't see Keitaro saying something like that. Maybe something like "I really didn't mean to! It was an accident!" but actually justifying it in so many words? Nah.

 

[Dark Knight Gafgar]

This is going to end badly.

 

[SimmyC]

I guess I liked it, except for the "flaming lesbian" comment. I mean, I really can't see Keitaro saying something like that. Maybe something like "I really didn't mean to! It was an accident!" but actually justifying it in so many words? Nah.

I agree in a way. That line I would probably change once I have more time. Though I might allude to it than just saying it bluntly like that (which would probably what Keitaro would say more than what I have up there).

Anyways, glad you liked most of it. As always, suggestions are welcomed even at this stage. Especially, ESPEICALLY if you feel a character would act the way that is not protrayed in the fic. After all, OOCness should be kept at a minimum, if at all (unless it is a fic like Valiant Shinji. . But that is a rare exception).

 

[SimmyC]

The next part... up to the end of chapter 1!

Hinata Sou - Main Room

ôWhat do you think is going on?ö Kitsune whispered to Naru.

ôI donÆt know.ö Naru whispered back. ôI mean, out of the blue, she comes back and tells everyone to meet up here in the main room.ö

ôAnd whoÆs that girl behind her?ö Kitsune continued to whisper into NaruÆs ear, indicating to the Goth girl with the strange cat. ôI mean, IÆve never seen her before.ö

ôBeats me.ö Naru whispered back in as low of a tone as she could make. ôShe entered right after Hina did. Maybe sheÆs one of her servant or something.ö

ôYou know girls, if you want to talk about me and my ægranddaughterÆ like thatàö Hina grinned at Naru and Kitsune. Both stiffened at the sudden sound of her voice. ôDo it when IÆm not in sight.ö

Naru and Kitsune began sweating. ôOkay!ö Both quickly nodded.

ôWell we know her hearing hasnÆt deteriorated any.ö Motoko whispered to Su.

ôYou know, even I can hear that.ö The longhaired Goth girl said. Causing Motoko to stiffen. ôReally, are you all really that dumb?ö

ôYes! I mean NO! I meanàö MotokoÆs composure began to falter. ôI was just umàö

ôThatÆs enough.ö Hina said waving Motoko away. ôAnd yes, my hearing is excellent for my age. Butàö Hina began quivering.

The girl standing behind Hina looked at her watch and narrowed her eyes impatiently. ôThe red headed girl, you said that oniichan has arrived at the Hinata Sou. So where is oniichan?ö

Naru raised her arms. ôSomething about cleaning up a cut on his forehead. HeÆll be here in a few minutes.ö

ôAnooooàö Shinobu let out slightly worried. ôI hope it isnÆt serious!ö

ôOf course it isnÆt serious!ö Naru quickly crossed her arms and fumed. ôThis is Keitaro weÆre talking about!ö

ôCleaning a cut?ö The Goth girl frowned. ôI wonder how he got that?ö

ôIt doesnÆt matter!ö Su said doing cartwheels on the floor. ôHeÆs indestructible!ö

ôHehehe. Yup!ö Kitsune raised her fist

The Goth girlÆs frown suddenly shifted to a smirk. ôReally?ö

æSomething about that smile is pissing me off.Æ Naru thought as she heard the sound of someone coming down the steps.

Keitaro apprehensively stared into the room. Sure enough, everyone had been assembled. Motoko, Kitsune, Su, Shinobu, and even Naru were all bunched together in one corner of room. Apparently they were all too scared of Grandma HinaÆs presence to sit close by her. Keitaro wasnÆt sure why this would be the case. It was just Grandma Hina right? Sure Keitaro himself was scared being in her presence. But they have no reason to be scared of her right? With that being said, Keitaro gulped when his eyes made contact with his grandmother. Something about them wasà different. æWhatever she had to say, much be pretty important. Maybe she came to her senses and decided to NOT make me the manager of the Hinata Sou! Oh please donÆt let it be bad! DonÆt let it be bad!Æ He then swept the room again and noticed that Haruka was standing on the opposite corner of the room. He also noticed his æsisterÆ standing just behind Grandma Hina.

Keitaro weakly raised his hand and waved at his grandmother. ôGrandma Hina! ItÆsà been a while since IÆve seen you. And umà you too Kanako.ö

ôIt has been oniichan!ö Kanako smiled.

ôOniichan?ö Naru blinked. ôWait, Keitaro, you had a sister?ö

ôWeÆll fill everyone in later. However, there is something I must address Keitaro about. ItÆs been a whilàö Cough Cough Cough! HinaÆs dry bone shaking coughs rang echoed through the Hinata Sou.

KeitaroÆs heart began beating rapidly. ôGrandma?ö

Hina slowly sat down on the couch behind her with Kanako helping her sit down.

ôThank you Kanako.ö Grandma Hina took a deep long breath.

ôGrandma!ö Keitaro loud voice was laced with fear. ôAre you okay? Do you need to go to the hospital?ö

ôI can hear you perfectly Keitaro, and IÆve already been there...ö Hina quietly said.

Keitaro froze when he heard. ôGRANDàö

WHACK! Haruka whacked Keitaro over the head. ôListen to Hina, Keitaro. She said she could hear you perfectly. You donÆt want to æscareÆ her to death now do you?ö

Hina quietly laughed. ôYou certainly have a way with words Haruka.ö Her smile quickly fades. ôYes you do.ö

ôHmph.ö Haruka said, retracting the fan from KeitaroÆs head. ôNow Hina, continue. IÆm sure everyone is eagerly awaiting what you have to say.ö

Keitaro rubbed his head as he slowly sat down on the couch across from Grandma Hina. He held his breath as he waited for the announcement Hina was going to say.

After recomposing herself, Hina looked directly into KeitaroÆs eyes, and began to speak. ôKeitaro, as you, and everyone else here was well aware, IÆve been on a trip around the world, visiting every hot springs I came across with.ö

Keitaro quickly nodded.

ôThatàö Hina lowered her head. ôIsnÆt the full truth.ö

ôEh?ö Keitaro gulped.

ôYou see Keitaro IÆveàö Hina paused before continuing. ôIÆve also been looking for the fountain of youth.ö

ôFountain of youth?ö Keitaro repeated. ôWell, I guess you want to recapture your youth and allà heheheh.ö He quickly rubbed the back of his head agitated. ôBut what doesàö

ôLet me continue Keitaro.ö Hina sat back quickly. ôYou see, my time is shortàö

ôHuh!ö KeitaroÆs breath was caught in his throat. This was the one thing he was dreading. ôGràgrà grandma?ö

ôKeitaroàö

Keitaro can feel his heart beat faster and faster.

ôYou see Keitaroàö

Any faster and his heart wouldÆve exploded.

ôIÆmàö

Keitaro closed his eyes as he prepared for the worst possible news to hit him.

ôàyour cousin.ö

KeitaroÆs eyes were completely shut as the room feell silent. æOh grandma! I canÆt believe it is true! I mean, I know you canÆt live forever butàHUH?!Æ The words finally sunk into his being. And the words that hit him, were certainly not what he had expected. ôGrandma?ö

ôYou can stop calling me that Keitaro since I am not your grandma.ö

ôOh is that all!ö Kitsune said, the girls too were all holding their breaths awaiting for the possible bad news. Of courseà

ôWAH!!!ö The girls all face faulted when the words slammed into them like someone whacking them with a mallet.

Keitaro eyes continued to blink in bewilderment. ôGranàö

ôI told you, IÆm not your grandmother.ö Hina repeated.

ôUmà ehà Hina?ö Keitaro was completely dumbfounded on what just happened. ôYouÆre kidding right gràumà Hina? I mean, youÆre my cousin? Hehehe. Wow! You really had me worried there grandma! I mean, you certainly have a great sense of humor! Which is great! Hahahahahahaàö

ôYeahà thatÆsà pretty funny! Heheheàö Naru started to lightly chuckle.

ôYeah! I mean, Hina is KeitaroÆs cousin?ö Kitsune sputtered a bit before laughing. ôGood one Hina! Wish I thought of something like that! Hahahahahaha!ö

Soon the other girls joined in laughing.

ôCousin? Is it something good to eat?ö Su jokingly said.

ôHahahahahaàö Keitaro was certainly enjoying this joke. I mean, Grandma Hina his cousin?

As Naru began eying Haruka, Hina, and the girl apparently named Kanako however, her laughter started to die off. ôHahahahàehàö

Kitsune followed suit. ôHAHAHAHAHhahahahahàehàumàö

Followed by Motoko, Su, and finally Shinobu.

Soon, only Keitaro was laughing. When Keitaro realized he was the only one that found this funny, soon his laughter began dying off. ôHahahàhahaàö Keitaro looked straight into HinaÆs eyes and realized they were dead serious. ôHahahahà youÆre serious arenÆt you?ö

ôAfraid so Keitaro.ö Grandà um, Cousin Hina said. ôI am your cousin.ö

Keitaro could only stare at hisà cousin with a wide-open mouth.

ôWait, wait, WAIT a second!ö NaruÆs voice shattered the silence that had descended into the room. ôHow can you be his cousin?! YouÆre soà old?!ö

Hina glared at Naru with murderous intent.

Naru took a few steps back. ôI mean, youÆre soà young! Yeah. Young! Butà Keitaro appears to be so much younger thanà you.ö Naru gulped hoping that would appease theà woman.


ôThat?ö Hina noticeably calmed down, and lightly shook her head. ôThatà you can blame on grandma. Your real grandma Keitaro.ö

ôReà reà real grandma?ö Keitaro repeated, still stunned by the earlier news. ôWhoÆs my real grandmother?ö

Hina raised a shaking hand and pointed to someone behind Keitaro.

Keitaro slowly followed where the finger was pointing until he saw he who it was that Hina meant. His mouth flew open at the sight.

Haruka stared blankly at Keitaro. Smoke continued to rise from her slowly disintegrating cigarette. ôWell, I always told you that I hated being called æoldÆ.ö

The girlsÆ mouths also flew open when they saw who KeitaroÆs apparent grandmother really was. Even Su couldnÆt believe her eyes. For the next few minutes, along with Keitaro, they divided the times staring at Haruka, then at Hina. Back to Haruka, then at Hina. They were like spectators watching the back and forth of tennis ball at a tennis match.

ôMyuh?ö Tamachan, who appeared out of nowhere, sounded before fainting. Apparently his tiny mind couldnÆt comprehend this turn of events.

ôHow is this possible?ö Motoko said. While she has been taught to expect, paranormal occurrences, her training in the Shinmei Ryu, as well as living at the Hinata Sou alone would make you a believer, this was still beyond anything that she could have imagined.

ôI can take it from here.ö Haruka said as she stepped forward from the corner that was leaning against. Haruka stared down at Keitaro who was still trying to wrap his mind over the idea that Haruka was his grandmother and not his aunt.

Never mind the apparent age difference between her, andà her granddaughter?

ôTell me Keitaroàö Haruka said, snapping Keitaro out the recesses of his mind. ôDo you know why youÆre immortal?ö

ôImmortal?ö Keitaro raised an eyebrow. ôWhat do you mean immortal? IÆm not immortal!ö Keitaro was about to lightly chuckle when he realized that Haruka was being deadly serious. Much like everything else in the world. ôUmà wellà uhàö Now that Keitaro really thought about it, he was quite durable. And certainly the other residences have noticed it. Howeverà ôIà never thought of it as anything special! I mean, I thought it had to do with the magic of Hinata Sou!ö

ôHmph.ö Haruka said as she sucked the cigarette down to the filter. ôHinata Sou? Keitaro, the source of your immortality is from a stone from an old gypsy selling magical colorful stones that she claimed did everything from cure deadly diseases to summoning dragons and unicorns. Anyways, she claimed that one gave long life, and so you and I touched it. Voila, instant immortality.ö

"Dragons andà unicorns?ö Keitaro stared at Haruka after she made her, claim. ôButà I thought I was immortal because I made that promise here at the Hinata Sou! And that the magic of this place kept me alive all this time until I fulfilled it!"

Haruka glared at Keitaro. "You actually believed that nonsense?"

"Like I said, it was due to a magical stone that street peddler sold me. When you and I touched it, we became immortal." Haruka reiterated. ôI thought it was crap to be honest. Never mind the fact that the stone was one of the ugliest things I have ever seen. But I canÆt argue the price. Free if I bought this other stone with me. Which had a beautiful shiny torque color, with, in the right light, appeared to have a faint aqua color hues to it.ö

ôGuh!ö Hina shuddered at the memories.

Haruka eyed Hina before she continued her story. ôWell, it turns out that this stone was the aging stone.ö

Everyone in the room, except Haurka, Kanako, and Hina gasped.

ôThan that meansàö Keitaro started when Haruka slowly nodded.

ôHina is only forty three years old.ö Haruka raised her arms in a defeated pose.

ôHmph!ö Hina glared at Haruka. ôYou say that now while you donÆt look a day older than twenty!ö

ôIÆm thinking more like thirty but yeah.ö Haruka crushed the used cigarette, and removed another one from her pocket. ôThose are the breaks I guess.ö

ôWait!ö Keitaro suddenly shot up from his seat. ôThis is all a joke! Yeah thatÆs right! YouÆre all playing a joke on me!ö

Haruka rolled her eyes at KeitaroÆs comments. ôKeitaro, this is notàö

ôNo!ö Keitaro said quickly. ôI mean, I have pictures of you Haruka! And you Grandma!ö

Hina lightly shook her head. ôKeiàö

ôIÆll show you!ö Keitaro rushed out of the room and headed towards his room.

Once Keitaro was out of the room, time seemed to stand still as everyone stared at the doorway as they awaited KeitaroÆs reappearance. With the only indication of the passage of time was HarukaÆs cigarette slowly turning to ash on her lips.

A few moments later, Keitaro returned to the room holding a picture with him, middle-aged woman that looked a slightly younger version of Haruka, and a much older woman all smiling back at the camera. It was apparently taken when Keitaro was around seven or eight, and it was taken sometime before the infamous promise was made.

Keitaro eagerly showed the current occupants the picture. It was one of the few pictures that, didnÆt simply contain him and so was eager to show it off to everyone. ôSee? Here is you Haruka, and Grandma right here!ö

Haruka took the picture and looked at it. Her expression softened as she fondly remembered the girl in it. ôAh, Yoko. IÆve seen a picture of her.ö

ôYoàko?ö Keitaro stared at Haruka dumbfounded.

ôThatÆs the girl that looks me Keitaro.ö Haruka eyed Keitaro. ôYour aunt, and my daughter.ö

KeitaroÆs mouth felt dry. ôBut thatÆs you! I rememberàö

ôKeitaroàö Hina spoke up behind him. ôDo you know who the promise girl is?ö

ôàö KeitaroÆs mouth continued to move, but no words were coming out as a daunting, and bizarre truth began to set it. ôUm, wellàö

Haruka crossed her arms while still holding onto the picture. ôBesides, twenty years down the road, Yoko would still look older than me anyways. You see, the reason why you havenÆt heard of Yoko is, she died in a car crash a few years after Hina finished college.ö Haruka wiped a few tears from her eyes. ôTodai of all places. And before Hina came into contact with the aging stone.ö

Hina grumbled at the mention of said stone.

ôAnd the person you thought was your grandmother, was me before I apparentlyà de-aged.ö

ôDe-age?ö Keitaro blinked confused.

ôThatÆs right.ö Haruka nodded. ôYou see, the stone doesnÆt simply grant a person æimmortalityÆ. It also ages, or de-ages in my case, to their prime of their life.ö

ôThen that meansàö

ôYes.ö Haruka nodded again. ôIn your case, you continued to age like a normal kid until, well, around now, now that I think about it.ö

ôWait!ö Motoko raised her voice trying to get attention to the, apparently MUCH older woman. ôHow do you know youÆre immortal? Are you sure that you canÆt be killed?ö

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure I can't die. I tried jumping off of buildings, shooting myself in the head, heck, I even I ran into this sword welding weirdo screaming 'there can be only ONE' who tried to cut my head off." Haruka said as she took a long drag. "But all that accomplished was my headless body decapitating him instead."

ôButà butà butàö Naru chin was quivering. ôYouà you canÆt be immortal! Keitaro canÆt be immortal! I meanà maybe you only look young andàö

Haruka took out a long knife, and ran it across her left forearm. As soon as the blade penetrated the skin, the wound that it left instantly healed, leaving no sign of trauma.

Naru kept opening and closing her mouth. ôWell, but Keitaroà Keitaro still bleeds see?!ö Naru said pointing to KeitaroÆs forehead. ôSo that means he isnÆt immortal!ö

ôSo did I when I first touched it.ö Haruka noted. ôAnd it is why I thought it was all crap. Ugly useless stone I thought.ö

ôAnd you threw it away!ö Hina growled.

ôWell, it was more like I threw it down a volcano.ö Haruka offhandedly added. ôBut thatÆs not the point. Anyways, the effects of the stone do not fully appear until many years later. How long? IÆm not sure. Butà Keitaro, mind checking your cut?ö

ôHuh?ö Keitaro said as he looked up with eyes. While he obviously could not æseeÆ the bandages that were on his forehead, he knew it was there. ôWell, umàö

ôIf it is still bleeding, you can just replace it.ö Haruka said impatiently. ôNow Keitaroàö

ôOkay.ö Keitaro said, taken off the bandages.

ôHuh!ö The girlsÆ behind infront of Keitaro all stared stunned at his forehead.

Keitaro rubbed the area where his cut used to be. ôItÆsà gone?ö

Haruka handed Keitaro a small mirror. ôThatÆs not the only thingàö

Keitaro viewed his face in the mirror in amazement. ôItÆsà gone! Not even a scar!ö æSo, IÆm really immortal! IÆm reallyàÆ Keitaro then looked at Naru with an extremely concerned look in her eyes. æImmortal?Æ

ôBut, but that meansàö Naru tried to hold back the tears that seemed to be welling up in her eyes. ôThat meansàö

ôYes.ö Haruka eyed Naru. ôIt means Keitaro will outlive all of you.ö

ôEh?!ö Keitaro said as the truth dawned on him. ôI, IÆll outlive all of them?ö

ôYes Keitaro. YouÆll still be a strapping twenty year old, when Naru, Motoko, Kitsune, heck, even Su and Shinobu are all gone and buried.ö

Keitaro imagined standing over their graves. Him, still alive while everyone he has ever loved are long gone and buried. Everyone. ôNo. I, I donÆt want this!ö

ôHow do you think I feel about it?ö Haruka said as her eyes soften. ôWatching my own co-workers, friends, lovers, and even my children age around me? I already buried one husband. Do you think I want to go through that experience again, and again, and again?ö

ôIàö Keitaro began to view Haruka in a whole new light. ôAuà Harukaàö

ôAnd then of course, my granddaughteràö Haruka eyed Hina.

ôOh my.ö Motoko viewed the older ælookingÆ woman. ôIÆm sorry that this has happened this to you. That means that your lifespan was greatly reduced.ö

ôGreatly reduced?ö Hina eyed Motoko suspiciously. ôWhat do you mean? IÆm a strapping forty three year old with plenty of life in me!ö

ôHuh?ö The girlsÆ all said confused.

ôBut, the aging stoneàö Keitaro noted.

ôOh that?ö Hina jumped up from her seat. ôIt only made me LOOK old. It didnÆt age my body any.ö

ôBut then, what was with all that hospital stuff?ö Kitsune added, scratching her head in wonderment.

ôOh that?ö Hina yawned. ôI just had case of over exhaustion and needed a place to sleep.ö

ôBut theàö

ôThe coughing?ö Hina said catching what Kitsune was about to say next. ôIt was probably due to all that smoke that occurred when the hospital had a kitchen fire.ö Hina smiled as the rest of the occupants of the room now seem to ægetÆ it. ôDonÆt worry about me. I probably have a good forty of fifty years ahead of me. The problem isà you try convincing a sexy young man that I have plenty of kilometers ahead of me?ö

The girlsÆ, including Keitaro but minus Haruka and Kanako, all deadpanned at HinaÆs comments.

ôWhich of course, none of this wouldÆve been of any concern if you didnÆt throw the stone away grandmother!ö Hina venomously spat.

ôOh would you get over it already? I already said IÆm sorry.ö Haruka took another deep drag from her cigarette. ôBesides, according to that peddler, there are plenty of immortal stones out there. You just have to find it. Wonder where that peddler is anyways?ö

-Meanwhileà

Hawaii û On the Rim of the Volcano

ôAh! Twenty years into my three hundred year vacation.ö The winged ægypsyÆ woman said. ôNo more stupid stones that I have to worry about either!ö

ôYou sure you got rid of them all?ö A certain dark skinned goddess flew down to see the gypsy woman.

ôOh please! Just because you convinced Kami-sama that it is partially my faultàö

ôCorrection.ö Urd said, crossing her arms. ôIt is ALL your fault. If you didnÆt break into my labàö

ôBlah blah blah.ö The gypsy woman said. She mocked Urd by moving her hand like a mouth. ôCan we let this all lie in the past? After all, all the stones are gone and so I have nothing to worry about now.ö

ôYou sure all the stones are gone?ö Urd narrowed her eyes at her. ôIÆm sure giving one to a mortal doesnÆt constitute ædestructionÆ.ö

ôBah!ö The gypsy waved off Urd. ôSo a mortal now has to deal with it. Big deal! As long as I donÆt have it, then I donÆt have to deal with it right?ö

ôYou mean that stone right there?ö Urd said as she pointed close to the gypsyÆs feet.

ôHuh?ö The gypsy followed where Urd was pointing, and began to grit her teeth. ôDAMN IT!ö

-Back at the Hinata Sou

ôWhat do you think IÆve been trying to do all this time?ö Hina said, crossing her arms and crashing to the sofa. ôI canÆt even find any trace that this peddler woman ever existed!ö

ôInconsiderate brat as usual.ö Haruka said as she stamped out another cigarette. ôLooks like IÆll have to get another pack soon.ö

ôAnother one? But isnÆt thatàoh.ö Keitaro said as realization dawned on him.

ôYeah. Maybe IÆm hoping against hope but who knows? They say smoking kills. WouldnÆt hurt right?ö Haruka shrugged.

ôSo um, does Seta know about this?ö Kitsune asked apprehensively.

ôNope. Not yet at least.ö Haruka answered. ôBesides, IÆm sure heÆs just happy to be with someone with plenty of experience.ö

ôPlenty of experience?ö Naru shakily repeated.

ôYup!ö Haruka grinned. ôI have more experience than a hooker in Kabukicho!ö

ôHaà Haruà Haruka!ö Motoko stuttered, her face flustered red. ôWe have children here!ö

ôThey will learn the facts of life one of these days.ö Haruka nonchalantly said. ôBetter sooner rather than later right?ö

This resulted in Shinobu going bright red. ôAnoooooo.ö

ôSo, you really are immortal.ö Su reiterated, showing none of her playful self since the revelation.

ôYup.ö Haruka nodded. ôJust me, living on and on and on, watching everyone I ever loved pass away.ö Then a smirk appeared on her face. ôWell, almost everyone.ö

Keitaro gulped. ôUm, why are you staring at me like that?ö

Haruka grinned. ôMy life has been full of change. Why not have one thing that will always be constant?ö

ôEhhhhhhhhhh.ö Keitaro began to sweat. He was feeling really uncomfortable on where this conversation was heading.

ôEh hem.ö Kanako coughed as she tried to get everyone attention. ôThere is one thing you have gotten ægrandmotherÆ.ö

Haruka eyed the Goth girl. ôWhat would that be Kanako?ö

ôYou and Keitaro werenÆt the only one to come into contact with the immortality stone.ö Kanako smile began to widen.

Keitaro stared forward, completely dumbfounded. ôWhat?ö

-------End of Chapter 1

Yup! I have completed the first chapter of this... horror. Comments, questions, and concerns if you have any, are welcomed. ^_^

 

[runestar]

Horrors amongst horrors indeed...

How will truly being immortal affect his relationship with the rest of the girls? And who is the mystery immortal?

Cliffhangers + Simmy's erratic updating schedule? :blue:

 

[Israfel]

This is PURE GOLD Simmy, I seriously love where this is going.

And who is the mystery immortal?

Do you really have to ask? It's kind of obvious.

One error I noticed.

ôEh hem.ö Kanako coughed as she tried to get everyone attention. ôThere is one thing you have gotten ægrandmotherÆ.ö

It should be 'forgotten', not 'gotten'.

 

[Dark Knight Gafgar]

Immortal Kanako ahoy?

Keitaro, you lucky bastard!

 

[runestar]

Do you really have to ask? It's kind of obvious.

I was hoping against hope it wouldn't be that obvious, since I am personally not a very big fan of said pairing...but what the heck, it's his story...

 

[SimmyC]

Well, who said it would be that pairing. :unsure: Still, this story is going to be a lot of fun. :snigger:

Oh yeah, and I should have noted this before...

But thanks Alzrius for making this story possible.

 

[Hawk]

> ôBeats me.ö Naru whispered back in as low of a tone as she could make. ôShe
> entered right after Hina did. Maybe sheÆs one of her servant or something.ö

Maybe she's one of her servants or something.
or
Maybe she's a servant or something.


> After recomposing herself, Hina looked directly into KeitaroÆs eyes, and began
> to speak. ôKeitaro, as you, and everyone else here was well aware, IÆve been
> on a trip around the world, visiting every hot springs I came across with.ö

visiting every hot spring I came across.
or
visiting all the hot springs I came across.


> Naru took a few steps back. ôI mean, youÆre soà young! Yeah. Young! Butà
> Keitaro appears to be so much younger thanà you.ö Naru gulped hoping that
> would appease theà woman.

Hehehe, this was pure gold.


> to be honest. Never mind the fact that the stone was one of the ugliest things I
> have ever seen. But I canÆt argue the price. Free if I bought this other stone
> with me. Which had a beautiful shiny torque color, with, in the right light,
> appeared to have a faint aqua color hues to it.ö

"Free if I brought this other stone". If she bought it, it wouldn't have been free.


> Haruka took the picture and looked at it. Her expression softened as she fondly
> remembered the girl in it. ôAh, Yoko. IÆve seen a picture of her.ö

Considering that she's talking about her daughter, this sounds a bit odd. "Ah, Yoko. I hadn't seen this picture of her before." or something of the sort might be better, as this makes it sound as if this is the first picture of her daughter that she's ever seen.


> ôOkay.ö Keitaro said, taken off the bandages.

taking off the bandages.


> ôWhich of course, none of this wouldÆve been of any concern if you didnÆt throw
> the stone away grandmother!ö Hina venomously spat.

"Of course, none of which would have been any concern whatsoever if you didn't throw the stone away, grandmother!" or something of the sort sounds a bit better. The above reads a bit iffy to me.


> ôEhhhhhhhhhh.ö Keitaro began to sweat. He was feeling really uncomfortable on
> where this conversation was heading.

He was feeling really uncomfortable with where this conversation was heading, reads a bit better to me.


> ôEh hem.ö Kanako coughed as she tried to get everyone attention. ôThere is one
> thing you have gotten ægrandmotherÆ.ö

There is one thing you have forgotten
or
There is one thing you haven't gotten
reads a bit better, pending on what you're going for with this part.


Other then that, excellent work.

 

[SimmyC]

Thanks Hawk. I should have put up a warning. This was NOT proofed before I put it up. h43r:

Still, thanks for the vote of confedence. :yay:

 

[EagleCeres]

gotta admit, between Gramma!Haruka's and Cousin!Hina's refreshing candidness... one gets to wonder if they somehow want to put him to the test (that is once Hina gets a hold of that Immortal stone) :snigger:

seems like everyone caught all the spelling beforehand, great update tho

very tempted in reading more :yay:

 

[Mighty Bob]

Gah, I'd completely forgotten the whole Cousin!Hina thread till now. Certainly one way to explain how Keitaro's survived all the violence the girls inflict upon him, as well as why Haruka isn't a lung cancer statistic yet.

And it seems like, as always, Keitaro is the last to know when it comes to family secrets. I can imagine that Kanako would be smug about this turn of events (assuming of course that she is the other immortal mentioned) seeing as it's more likely Keitaro would try for an everlasting relationship with someone he isn't blood related to, rather than someone that's his grandmother.

 

[Terdwilicker]

I'm glad to see an actual story. Its amusing. Hopefully there will be more bits posted here. I don't even mind the KeixHaruka and KeixKanako pairings implied in this story. Just the thought of Keitaro wrapping his head around the fact that he's going to live forever, and the implication that he'll be meeting Urd soon enough, and that gypsy. I wonder what this realization will do to Naru? Will she go insane trying to find a stone for herself? Will she run away from Keitaro, thinking its all too weird. Will Su try and experiment on him more, now that she knows? Will Shinobu be happy knowing that she'll catch up to her true love? Will Motoko call her sister for advice on dealing with immortals (the merman flesh immortality case of the Onmyoji movies comes to mind). One wonders. There are plenty of directions this story can go. Angst, hentai, crossover, romance, incest, and maybe true love with Kanako (who admittedly does love him, just is a bit greedy about it).

 

[SimmyC]

After a few corrections, the first chapter is now up!

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3182900/1/

 

[Fatuous One]

Mwhahahaha! I look forward to the reactions on this one. Kinda makes me want to release "PMT, AK!", to stagger the public with a double hit.

 

[Dark Knight Gafgar]

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3182900/1/

Eeeexccellent.

 

[Antimatter]

wonderful stuff. A truly immortal Keitaro = absolute win, combined with a dose of the awesomes for having immortal Haruka, and seemingly, immportal Kanako.

Mankinds end, or perhaps, its golden age is nigh.

 

[Dubrichius]

wonderful stuff. A truly immortal Keitaro = absolute win, combined with a dose of the awesomes for having immortal Haruka, and seemingly, immportal Kanako.

Mankinds end, or perhaps, its golden age is nigh.

It can be almost guaranteed that the human race will live on indefinitely, if Kanako has any say in the matter. Of course, that's assuming that they can still conceive children even with their immortality.

 

[Terdwilicker]

Haruka did, so yeah, they can.

 

[Moshulel]

Mwhahahaha! I look forward to the reactions on this one. Kinda makes me want to release "PMT, AK!", to stagger the public with a double hit.

Ummm.... Do it? After all a small dose of insanity is just what the doctor ordered.

Nice story Simmy.

 

[Mighty Bob]

Mwhahahaha! I look forward to the reactions on this one. Kinda makes me want to release "PMT, AK!", to stagger the public with a double hit.

Heh, I can hear the screaming and gibbering of LH readers going mad already.

Do it, be fun to see how many favorites lists it might turn up on.

 

[Dark Knight Gafgar]

Haruka did, so yeah, they can.

I think she had her kids before she came into contact with the stone actually.